- Byron and Topaz (B)

*Mess Hall, late at night, students gathering around for Trivia Night*

Host Black Eagles Student: And we are back! Back to Garreg Mach Monastery's Weekly Trivia Night! Last time, our uncontested trivia master, Byron Amadeus Noa, suddenly now has competition! For tonight, this is no open oral night! Tonight! We're only doing a clash of minds between our two contenders!

Male Blue Lions Student: Alright, place your bets people!

*students begin placing bets into the boxes each labeled "Byron" and "Topaz" respectively*

Byron: Don't cry when you lose, okay?

Topaz: You will be the one crying, Noa.

Host Black Eagles Student: Them's fighting words and I LOVE IT! Now, as usual, we managed to acquire our questions from the anonymous advice box that was about to be thrown out yesterday and now we're going to test these two geniuses to their utmost limit!

Female Golden Deer Student: HURRY UP AND BEAT HIM, NEW KID!

Male Black Eagles Student: I GOT MY WEEKLY ALLOWANCE RIDING ON THIS!

Byron: Oh look, they love you.

Topaz: I'm not one for pageantry. Let's just get this over with so I may prove to be the better one.

Host Black Eagles Student: FIIIRRRRSST QUESTION! What is the purpose of telling jokes for a dour man?

Byron: It helps them calm their nerves.

Host Black Eagles Student: COORREECT!

Byron: Speed matters, Topaz. Get good.

Topaz: Thank you for the advice.

Host Black Eagles Student: NEXT QUESTION! Who is the other art lover aside form Ignatz?

Topaz: Sylvain. I saw his pants bulge at the painting of a naked woman.

Host Black Eagles Student: That's gross, but YOU'RE CORRECT!

Female Blue Lions Student: I AM GOING TO KICK HIM IN THE BALLS THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM!

Byron: You actually pay attention to that?

Topaz: Being short and small has its advantages.

Host Black Eagles Student: NEXT QUESTION! If Edelgard von Hresvelg doesn't inherit the throne, which line of succession will the Imperial Throne go to?

Byron: The Aegir House. Specifically Ferdinand von Aegir, because he wouldn't shut up about it!

Host Black Eagles Student: Total mood, but YOU'RE CORRECT!

Topaz: You got lucky.

Byron: As long as I win.

*time passes as question after question is answered between the two, leading to a 20 on 20 tiebreaker*

Host Black Eagles Student: Ladies and gentlemen, I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING! WILL ANYTHING STOP THESE TWO?!

Byron: ... Have to admit, you're pretty good.

Topaz: ... I sense no fear behind your answers... truly admirable!

Host Black Eagles Student: I SENSE RESPECT BETWEEN OUR TWO RIVALS! IS FRIENDSHIP OR SOMETHING MORE BLOOMING BETWEEN THE TWO?! ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT WITH TONIGHT'S FINAL TIEBREAKER QUESTION!

Byron: Bring it on!

Topaz: May the best intellect win.

Host Black Eagles Student: What is the Archbishop's cup size?

*audience and the two contenders goes into awkward silence*

Host Black Eagles Student: ... Okay, who wrote this crap?! Was it Sylvain?!

*Byron and Topaz look at each other awkwardly*

Byron: When was the last time you snuck into her room?

Topaz: Once, and she has no bras that I can use for reference! Nothing but open-breasted corsets!

Host Black Eagles Student: Crude and possibly privacy-intruding question aside, BOTH CONTESTANTS ARE STUMPED FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Female Blue Lions Student: Who even has the answer for that unless they're a total creep?!

Male Black Eagles Student: Is it blasphemous that I kinda wanna know?

Male and Female Golden Deer Student: ... Kinda? But we're also curious too.

*Seteth then bursts into the Mess Hall*

Seteth: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

Host Black Eagles Student: CHEESE IT!

*everyone but Seteth and the two contestants leave the now-vacated Mess Hall*

Seteth: ... What are you two doing out here? It's past bedtime!

Topaz: Trivia night.

Byron: Oh hey, Seteth. Just wanna ask, what is the Archbishop's cup size?

Seteth: ... What.