Chapter 5: Faker

I do not own Fate/Stay Night and stuffs:

o. o. o.

It had been almost a year since Sirius and Waver began to periodically visit the Emiya household, staying for no longer than a week or two at a time and visiting every 2 or 3 months to check how the 2 man family was doing. Kiritsugu had left the compound a couple of more times, but he returned after at most 3 months on both occasions and looking far more tired than he had been when he left…

It was shortly after the first time he had returned that Shirou had managed to finally project Avalon... though it did cause the boy to pass out after doing so and did not wake up until the next day. It was far from perfect with inconsistencies in the magic at some parts and the quality of the gold clearly not matching up to the original, however it still possessed the magic that made it a noble phantasm in the first place.

Since then, Kiritsugu had implanted the imperfect projected copies that Shirou had progressively improved on into his body in order to prolong his time on earth. Shirou in turn would improve his tracing capabilities dramatically by repeatedly reproducing the incredibly complicated and powerful noble phantasm. The boy didn't know that he was prolonging his father's life. He merely thought that his dad was simply testing out his creations extremely thoroughly. With his circuits and skill he could at best do so once a day without overstraining and potentially killing himself. Anymore and he risked doing extreme damage to his magic circuit or his body…

Which was somewhat impressive since there weren't that many spells on the planet alone that could actually be too much for a circuit that could pump out a little over 400 units of prana at max… other than the standard divine mystery level summonings or attacks that were designed to take down said divine mysteries with sheer destructive power. By the time Shirou's circuits fully develop, Kiritsugu estimated that the boy would manage to have a max output of around 600 units, a very impressive number considering the average non-crest bearing magus ranged from around 200-400 at best.

Still Kiritsugu could feel his time coming. Shirou's Avalon copies were certainly doing their job and improving with each implant… the latest copy lasting him almost half a week before it finally disappeared, however it would not enable him to live as long as he would have if he didn't give the boy his remaining crest circuits…

As such he spent as much time as he could with the boy when he wasn't at school. Playing, teaching, drinking tea. The two spent long amounts of time with one another enjoying the other's company. Kiritsugu knew that his son idolized him. The shine in the boy's eyes spoke of nothing else as he told him of stories of the magic world and what magi could really do and of some of his… less violent adventures.

… That didn't mean that he got irritated at the boy on occasion…

"Shirou…" Kiritsugu frowned as the two finally made it back to their home. "How many times has this been this month that you've gotten yourself into a fight at school?"

"…4?" The boy answered in a muffled voice, ashamed to look at his dad in the eyes with the one eye he had that wasn't swelled shut from the beating he had recently gotten in trouble for.

"6." The man corrected before sighing and scratching his head frustrated. "Shirou, I know that you want to help others. Every time I get a call, it's about you standing up against multiple older bullies almost twice your size each. That's not a bad thing… but you have to put some concern into your own well being too."

"What do you mean?" The boy tilted his head to the side confused. "That guy was being bullied, so why shouldn't I have helped out? It was the right thing to do so it doesn't matter if I got into trouble or got hurt a bit…"

A lance of emotional pain pierced through Kiritsugu. Once again Shirou's complete lack of self preservation came to light, something akin to suicidal tendencies under the guise of noble desires that was more than likely bound to either break, kill, or twist the person known as Shirou Emiya in the future at some point. To give someone like this the dream to become a super hero to the world… no… he couldn't do that in good conscience… not again. The images and cries of the heroic spirit in red flashed through his mind. "Shirou…" He began slowly with a sad look on his face. "Do you know how much you hurt me when you say things like that?"

The boy looked at his father in shock. "Wh-what?" He stumbled back, not expecting for his idol to say this.

He continued. "People can hurt in more than one way. They can hurt when those they care about are hurt… when they die… and when they do things that make them worry…" He stepped forward. "You have to care more about yourself son. You have a great heart, bigger than most would ever have… but you don't realize how much people can hurt by watching their loved ones risk themselves needlessly as if their lives don't matter." He looked at the boy worriedly. "Is that something you want to do? Do you want to hurt me?"

The boy shook his head frantically. "No! It's not like that! You don't have to worry about me. I just wanted to make those bullies stop as quickly as possible so…"

"You did something reckless and instead of doing the safe thing and get a teacher, you jumped into the fray yourself." Kiritsugu finished the boy's explanation in a dry tone. "You always do this Shirou. You try to undertake these things yourself in place of others despite the fact that they may be suited better to doing it simply because it may trouble them." He shook his head.

"I just want to be like you though!" The boy argued with frustrated tears welling up. "I wanna help people like a superhero! Like you helped me!"

There it was. There was the cause of so much pain for so many people in the future. To hear it actually come from Shirou's mouth now though… even when he is still such a small child terrified the man to no end. He closed his eyes and before Shirou knew what happened hugged him. "Shirou…" Kiritsugu muttered… some tears forming in his eyes. "… I was similar to you once. I wanted to be a hero of justice. To stop all the bad things happening in the world… and I did try to do that with all my might… but… you don't really know what such a path is like…"

"I… don't get it dad…" The scared and confused boy whispered, never seeing this side to his father before. "What's so bad to be a hero? To stop bad guys? To make everyone happy?"

"To be a hero… I had sacrificed and killed so many people to save many times that number of lives… even though doing so slowly killed me painfully on the inside." Kiritsugu muttered, not trusting his voice to speak any louder than he was. "My father… my adopted mother… my partner… my wife… all dead because of me… and my beautiful daughter, my true daughter is kept away from me so that I will never see or hear from her again. All for the sake of saving the world and saving lives... I became a monster that took them." He whimpered. "It is so lonely… and you will hurt so many people no matter what you do. If you isolate yourself for too long… you wouldn't even become a human anymore before you realize that the fighting won't stop and that in order to keep on saving people… you will have to keep on killing others. Your heart would go so cold that neither the most beautiful and caring woman, nor the most disgusting and sickening acts would be able to move it. You can't call someone like that a hero…" He took in a shuddering breath. "Shirou… I truly… only have you left. If you died or if something permanent happened to you… I would have no meaning left in me… I'd be all alone. To see my only link to humanity care so little for itself terrifies me more than you can possibly imagine." He laughed bitterly. "I know… you are probably guilty for being one of the only ones to live through the fire… that you have to live for other's sakes because you feel it's unfair that only you lived." The boy's sudden rigidity was enough to confirm his suspicion. "… If that's the case… then live Shirou. Help people yes… fight bad guys if you have to… but live the lives that those that died couldn't achieve. Have loved ones. Have a family. Keep them close and be happy by making them happy. Protect them. If you truly wish to use your magic to help others… I will not stop you… but please at least put your loved ones' feelings into consideration…"

Kiritsugu couldn't see the boy's face at the time, however it would probably have been best if he didn't as Shirou's expression was not one that he would have preferred. It did contain some compassion and hurt… however the dominant emotions on the boy's face were confusion and fear. It was the innocent stare of a child that truly did not understand the true meaning of what his father was trying to tell him. It held an unnerved stare of uncertainty, showing that the boy did not know how to respond appropriately to his father's request. The man did make sense in a way, but the overall message eluded him. As such he said nothing in fear of saying the wrong thing and making his beloved father even more depressed. Yes. Shirou Emiya was truly distorted from the fire. He did not see why he should truly be happy when all those that burned around him and had their lives ended so cruelly no longer had the chance to. The boy now only felt true elation when he helped others…

…And yet…

… The boy did understand bits and pieces of what his father said. People died in the world. That in itself was obvious. Shirou had seen that first hand. Apparently if you were a hero… that happened around you more often than he would like… and to people you knew too. It made sense, Shirou mused. In the cartoons and stories he read, occasionally someone would get hurt by accident or targeted by the main bad guy in order to get to the hero. Most of the time things went well… but not all the time.

… And his father also mentioned his family. His wife. His parents… His daughter. To lose so many people close to him in order to go for his dreams. It made it sound like it was almost better to be alone with no friends or family in order to be a hero… but did he truly want to be alone forever? If it was to protect people then he might consider it… but how sad would it make his father? The man who he idolized truly wanted him to have a family before being a hero. The man who saved his life and gave him purpose again? Wasn't that being selfish to put his desires before those of people who might need his help? But then wasn't it also selfish to not live the life that those who died in the fire would envy and have a loving family?

The questions upon questions of distorted morals cycled and assaulted the boy as he tried to understand his father's pain. He wanted to know what to do or say in order to make this right! A hero most likely would have known, but Kiritsugu was asking him to not be one! What was the right thing to do then?

Shirou was a small boy, however that did not matter much when he instinctively reinforced his body and pushed his father away, forcing the man back a good few steps.

Kiritsugu stumbled back for a moment before seeing his son stare at him with confusion and fear on his face before the boy turned around and ran out of the house like a frantic animal. "Shirou!" The man shouted as the boy turned the corner and disappeared from view. He was far from the condition he would have needed to be to chase after the unnerved child and as such could only stumble to the main entrance and look in hopes to at least have a decent idea of where the boy may have ran to…

o. o. o.

Shirou ran. His mind was too clouded by what his father had told him, of what he should do, of how he should live, of what his dreams would bring him to care about where he was going.

What was it that he truly wanted? What was it his father truly wanted? Was doing the right thing not so simple as what he meant? How could he help others without hurting his dad?

Before Shirou knew where he was, he had found himself standing at the local park. It had barely registered to him that he was breathing heavily as he took in his surroundings and began to calm down. The day was closing as the sun set in the distance, making the sky look as if it was on fire, burning as intensely as his lungs and head were.

He hated it.

Even when he tried to clear his mind, even the sky itself would remind him of the fire. Why? Why was it so hard to make people happy? Isn't the world simply supposed to be beat the bad guy, rescue the town, stop the monster? Sure there would be a hard moment every once in a while, but can't they all be worked around in one way or another with enough hard work? After enough time he could be strong enough in his magic to do more things, help more people… he could keep on helping and helping…

… But would he stop? Should he stop? Surely the "right" answer is to keep on going so long as people still need to be rescued, but Shirou knew even then that he probably wouldn't be able to save everyone. If that was the case would he be able to have a family? His dad was right… if he wanted to honor those that didn't life, he should at least have a loving family… but would he have to sacrifice them too to be a hero like his dad did? Hero's did have enemies after a while… and they would most likely go after his loved ones. If he was a true hero he could save them… but memories of the fire had brought him back to reality. There was no way to absolutely ensure that everyone lived all the time…

He was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard something nearby. He didn't notice them first since he had been exhausted and confused, but since he had actually stopped for a bit he had become aware of the world around him once more.

The primary sounds he heard was laughter, most likely from kids his age if their voices were any indication. The thing was though that said voices reminded him of those of the bullies he would often pick fights with when said bullies were picking on some unfortunate target of the day. Focusing on his listening even more, sure enough, he soon picked up the very quiet whimpering of the suspected target. A girl if the high pitched voice was any indication.

The short tempered boy growled and began to correct this injustice when he stopped. This is exactly what he had done to make his dad worried and sad in the first place. He was sticking his nose into other people's business again. He would probably get hurt. He would anger his dad. But…

The distinct sound of flesh hitting flesh met the boy's ears and in an instant Shirou had made up his mind. He would probably get in trouble for it later, but he just couldn't ignore such things from happening right in front of him…

He paused as the bruises from his previous fight throbbed, reminding him that he was already recovering from another fight earlier that day. If he fought again he would probably not only get into trouble, but also hurt in a way that would take much longer to heal. The sound of the bullying continued, causing the boy to grit his teeth in frustration. Quietly sneaking around the corner of the park, Shirou saw the scene. 3 boys a year or 2 older than him were surrounded by a small and silent girl with purple hair that looked about a year younger than him. The boys took turns kicking and shoving the exhausted female between them, who did nothing in retaliation other than hold her arms up to make the pain less, almost as if she had given up on trying to fight back in the first place.

There were no adults around and no one had noticed him yet.

Shirou breathed out calmly. This was just like his lessons with Waver-nii. When faced with a tough problem, don't rush things or you'll do something stupid and get hurt. He didn't do it earlier that day because he had let his temper get the better of him, but now after running for a long time he was too tired to get over emotional about these things. He wouldn't fight all 3 at once, but that didn't mean he couldn't get rid of them or make them stop hitting the girl...

Picking up a rock and taking aim, the boy launched his projectile at the nearest offender and was rewarded with the satisfying sound of stone hitting flesh. "Oi jerks!" He shouted, getting the attention of the boys. "You're picking on a girl by herself? That's so lame!" He paused to see that the one he hit was now on the verge of tears from getting hit. "Hah! 1 rock and you're already about to cry?"

"Get him!" Yelled the victim of the sneak attack as he and the other two boys turned to their latest target.

"Trace… on…" The outnumbered boy muttered under his breath and flooded his bones and skin with prana. Shirou knew that he shouldn't use magic against civilian kids, but he was just so sick and tired of everything right now that he couldn't really care less. Besides, he only enhanced his bones and skin so that he wouldn't get hurt that badly if the fighting went against him and so that he could hit harder…

And so Shirou fought the older boys at once… and was beaten relentlessly. He may have had some basic fighting training from Sirius, Kiritsugu, and Taiga, but it was nowhere near enough to handle 3 opponents at once. Time and time again he was kicked and punched and thrown to the ground. Just as many times he had once again picked himself up with determination. He wanted to help the girl yes. He wanted to stop those bullies yes… but they weren't the reason why he stood back up time and time again only to be beaten down.

No, the reason why he didn't back down was because if he did so, he felt as if he would never truly understand the reason why his father wanted him to not become a hero of justice and go out of his way to help people. In his mind the only way to find out why it was so bad for him and others was to do so anyways. So far though all it was doing was annoying his opponents and making him hurt a lot.

Looking past the group, he saw the girl he had rescued looking at him with dull purple eyes curiously, almost as if she was expecting something of him that he had not done yet. He didn't know why, but the girl looked as if she was crying before the bullies had gotten to her since the red marks on her eyes looked older than a few minutes. Before he could think about it anymore though, a kick to his side brought him back to realizing that he was fighting 3 kids at once and losing badly.

"What the heck is he made of?" Grunted one of the boys as he rubbed his foot. "It's like hitting a rock."

"He won't stay down either." Panted another as he put his foot on Shirou's back in attempt to do so. "Is he stupid or something?"

"He has to be." Grumbled the leader, kicking the red headed boy's skull lightly. "Why else would he try to pick a fight with us?"

"Maybe he knows her." Suggested the first one as he turned to see where the purple eyed girl still watched on curiously.

"I don't." Shirou grunted as he tried to pick himself up again only to be held in place. "I just fought you cause you were picking on her."

The leader laughed. "Hah! He really is just stupid! He doesn't even know when to give up!"

"Actually, that's partially my fault." Spoke a tired, calm, but chillingly empty voice from behind all 3 boys, causing them and their victim to freeze. Standing behind them was an exhausted Kiritsugu looking down at them with an sweaty body… but his face was stone cold and emotionless. Shirou shivered as he felt no warmth at all coming from his father's eyes. "If you three wouldn't mind… I was in the middle of a conversation with my son before he decided to go somewhere else." The boys shivered as the man's impossibly empty gaze turned even colder, as if he was contemplating how to kill them. Of course their young minds, other than Shirou's, didn't comprehend the exact feeling having never experienced or have come close to death, however their bodies all recognized the danger this newcomer presented. "I would appreciate it if you didn't bother the young lady over there anymore either."

It wasn't a request. All the children there could feel it in their bodies that if they didn't do what the man said, they would suffer greatly. It had less to do with how the man said it than it had to do with pure instinct. Kiritsugu had at most a circuit or 2 that he could activate if he was truly pressed, however he didn't need it for something like this. He was carrying himself like an assassin, a murderer, and he was now looking at potential targets. They were not children or boys or family, simply lives on a scale. As such he could present himself in a way that could put all but the most hardened of individuals on edge. His words merely conveyed what he wanted. They were empty and as such had no impact on the effect he had on their unknown bodies.

It wasn't a surprise that all 3 boys that had ganged up on Shirou had attempted to bolt at once, tripping over their frantic and clumsy legs multiple times in the process before finally getting out of sight.

"D-Dad…?" Shirou whispered in fear as he saw his father in a completely different way. This was not his teacher. This was not his friend. This was not his father. This was a man who was for lack of a better term empty on the inside… no… to call the person in front of him a man was pushing it. Even as a child, Shirou could tell that the thing in front of him that looked like his father was barely human. Gutted and cored out of almost every emotional function until only the bare minimum was there that was needed in order to get things done.

"You disappoint me." The "man" spoke in the same dead tone in the same emotionless demeanor, causing the boy to flinch and look away before the man grabbed his head and forced it to face him. "Look at me." He continued, neither angry nor passionate nor emotional. "You can tell can't you? I'm no better than a machine like this. This is what doing nothing but sacrificing yourself for others does to you if you don't die somewhere along the line." He observed the boy shaking in shock and fear but did not acknowledge it. Instead he simply turned and began to walk home. "I never expected to be like this again… but you did this to me Shirou. Your recklessness with your safety is the sole cause for this. You fail to realize that your well being is also needed to aid others. If you continue to act like this." He stopped, but didn't turn around. "You'll find yourself in hell… alone, trapped, and unable to do anything about it."

He glanced towards the girl to his other side, who was simply standing there and watching curiously and confused. She didn't fear him. Her body was exhausted, but she did not fear him despite the danger his body clearly emitted. The two made eye contact for several seconds before Kiritsugu snorted and closed his eyes. "… Though if you continue to be this stubborn about it… a way out may eventually show itself… maybe." He mused out loud before continuing his way back home. He didn't bother to look at the scared, confused, and unnerved boy… or at the absolutely petrified girl.

o. o. o.

Shirou didn't return home until very late that night. Kiritsugu didn't go looking for the boy… instead spending most of his time on the porch staring up at the sky… or coughing up blood. His condition had been worsening after all. His breathing had become more difficult and his heart was having trouble beating without hurting him…

Still… this sensation was nothing new to him. Other than the intensity, he had become accustomed to the throbbing pain in his body. It was the curse of constant regret that truly never went away and ensured that he would not be blessed with a quiet and peaceful death.

The sound of the front door opening and the light steps of Shirou walking through the house slowly calmed the man down enough to finally drink some tea and clear some of his throat. He subtly brushed his hands on the side of his clothes so that the boy wouldn't notice.

Shirou appeared quietly from the living room and stood still a fair distance from his father. The air was quiet other than the sound of the evening insects making noise.

"You took your time." Kiritsugu mused almost casually. There was little mirth in his tone, however it was still a far cry from how he held himself when he left the boy.

Shirou shifted nervously from side to side. "I had to take the Sakura back home, and then think about what happened today."

"Sakura?" Kiritsugu asked, feinting ignorance.

"The girl that I helped from the bullies." The boy answered. "She lives in those western buildings on the rich side of town…"

"I see…" The father mused before going quiet again. "… You used magic in public." He stated in a darker tone.

"You were angry that I was getting hurt…" The red head excused himself feebly. "I only reinforced my bones and skin so that the damage would be less… no one noticed… well they did, but they just thought I was just different like that…"

Kiritsugu sighed. "Not only did you break one of the major rules I set up for you… but you still don't understand Shirou. You planned for yourself to get hurt. That's just as bad as doing it without knowing it…"

"But if I tried to fight them and win, then I would have needed to use more magic!" The boy argued.

"Did you try to think of other ways to get rid of them that didn't involve fighting?" Kiritsugu frowned. "Such as changing your voice to that of an adults and scare them off? I know you are capable of doing that."

Shirou looked away guiltily. "No…" He mumbled.

The father remained quiet as he began to drink again. He knew the boy well enough to know that once he recognized his errors, or at least what came out of his errors, he would at least try to figure out what the problem was on his own and attempt to fix it. He may have been a bit too blunt with the boy when addressing the situation. Kiritsugu knew what the problem was, he knew what would happen should it remain unaddressed, however addressing it was the main concern. Shirou was distorted, and it was his greatest strength and weakness. He needed the boy to recognize it, realize its affects on him, and adapt to it in such a way that it would not truly shatter his son later on in life.

In comparison it was like trying to get a rampaging alcoholic to adapt to a life where he has to cut back on his drinks but not cut off his intake completely and make sure that he wouldn't binge ever again. Now make said rampaging alcoholic a traumatized 11 year old boy with a fairly short temper with access to magic and replace his addiction with "alcohol" with an addition to "help people", which in contrast is significantly more difficult to argue against doing. This was what Kiritsugu was attempting to accomplish. Right now though he was still at the "get him to admit or realize he had a problem" step.

Shirou nervously stepped forward, closer to his father. "… Did… did you really kill a lot of people?"

"More than either one of us would like to believe." Kiritsugu sighed, looking up at the sky.

"… And… did it was all to become a hero?" The boy shakily asked.

"…" The Magus Killer remained silent before finally deciding on his answer. "It was… at first." He started off slowly. "I wanted to be a hero of justice. To rescue people." He laughed bitterly. "My father had a sealing designation and because of his carelessness condemned the entire island we were staying on to death for his research… but even so he wanted to continue." He closed his eyes. "… He didn't know that a freelancer had come into contact with me and explained the situation… why all those people I was friends with were killed by enforcers and the church. … If he had decided to stop, we probably would have managed to escape the island and live somewhere else in peace… but he didn't care at all for other's lives… so when I came back to him… no older than you were now, maybe even younger, and he explained what he planned to do and turned around…" He chuckled dryly and held out one hand, making a gun shape with his index and thumb before making a bang sound. "One to drop him… then a few more in his heart and head just to make sure he was really dead…" He pretended to ignore the shocked look his son was giving him. "The sad thing was that he had stayed on the island that long because I hadn't come back yet. I was the only one he truly trusted." He shook his head and sighed. "After that… I did jobs for and with the freelancer who found me in the first place. She taught me. She fed me. She clothed me. In a way she became the mother I never had… but I killed in the process. Always killing in order to keep more alive…"

Kiritsugu continued for hours. Telling for the first time uncensored stories of his past, of what he's done. Of his daughter, his wife, of his decent into borderline madness, everything. He never used last names, and left out many facts about the 4th war including the fact that he had started the fire and that it was held here… but other than that he truly gave Shirou Emiya a true picture of what his father was and what the world could be like. It was likely he had scarred his son once more, but so long as these scars served the purpose of reminding him that he had others he would not relent in the slightest.

"Shirou…" The tired assassin spoke once more, his throat dry from overuse. "You have a very difficult life ahead of you, not only as a magus, but as my son, and among other things. There are no doubt people who have a grudge against me that would take out their frustrations on you. You will face many trials regardless, and I am trying my best to prepare you for them… but that is all I can do. You have to deal with them yourself…"

The boy was now sitting next to him with bags under his eyes. Whether it was from being up for so long or from mental exhaustion was anyone's guess, but it no doubt prevented him from detecting the proclamation of his father's oncoming death. "The trials of being a magus right?" He muttered tiredly. "… I… can sort of get what you mean by me risking myself. I guess it's why so many other kids don't like getting involved with the bullies. I always just thought that they were all just cowards… but now that I think about it… it does make some sense…"

"They could be cowards regardless…" Kiritsugu added. "Unless backed into a corner, most people in today's society try to avoid fighting themselves as much as possible."

"… It's hard though…" Shirou continued. "I have this power, and I know what's right and what's wrong… but even though I have to hold back… I always have the urge to do something…"

"… Sword…" The father sighed.

"What?" The boy blinked.

"It's your element and your origin." The man explained. "Sword. It explains why you're so adept at tracing weapons and turning things into weapons and related objects. Because of your origin you're compelled to fighting when put up against violent problems. When you're out of your league, you're compelled to think of yourself as a disposable tool. Useful, powerful, dangerous, but disposable."

"Y-you knew what my origin and elements were?" The boy's eyes widened in shock.

"I had hoped that you would be told when you got older and more mature, but I see that you needed to know this now not for your magic but for yourself." Kiritsugu stated. "I guess it's affecting your judgment more than others' are. I would say that it also explains your short temper… but then again all kids have that."

"Sword…" The boy repeated, as if trying to convince himself that this was his true nature. "I'm a living sword huh?" He smiled weakly. "That's pretty cool in a way I guess… learning sword magic and all…"

"Sword magic." The dad snorted and shook his head before being struck with inspiration. He nearly hit himself for not thinking of this sooner. "Shirou, let me try to put it in an easier way for you to understand. You know that the best swords not only have powers and pick their owners… but they have special scabbards too?" He pat the boy on the head gently. "You have to find that son. You are not a hero of justice. You are a sword of justice, but you are still human which makes things more complicated. You can't be swung all the time at every unfair thing within your reach and sight, and you can't simply just let yourself be wielded by anyone that asks for your aid, otherwise you'll chip and rust yourself with blood until you're nothing but a shattered mess of what you once were, or become a cursed blade that lashes out at everything and prevent people from coming near you. You need to reign yourself in order to prevent this from happening. I've been trying to do this by teaching you self control, but in case that fails you may have to find someone or something to do it for you. It can be a friend, a loved one… anything really so long as it enables you to control yourself. Does that make sense?"

Shirou was silent as he analyzed Kiritsugu's analogy. It was surprisingly accurate when applied to the boy. Japan has multiple legends about swords in its rather colorful history, both holy and demonic. Some stories actually had legendary weapons becoming tainted and bloodthirsty which enforced the comparison even more. "Yeah… it does…" Shirou nodded slowly, though Kiritsugu guessed that it was because the boy didn't want to agree with it completely. "I need to take care of myself. I'm a sword… but I also use swords… I can break differently from other people…" He looked at his hands as if seeing something else.

"…My body is made of blades…"

The father suppressed the shiver going down his spine, only nodding in response. "Yeah. It is. Just make sure you take care of them all…" He smiled sadly down at his son. "You'll need them in good condition soon enough…"

o. o. o.

It had been several months since that day and a lot had happened. Shirou's magic training had progressed significantly. His projections were stronger and he was beginning to produce more common non-weapon items from memory now, albeit very basic ones. His alteration skills had improved slightly, though once more his strength was primarily in projection and reinforcement. He could make some very basic bounded fields if needed to keep normal humans away, and his hypnotism skills had gotten to the point where if truly needed he could managed to manipulate a normal human to forget certain events or do things for him, not that he had any test subjects other than Taiga who he simply just made eat like a normal human being for once or take him to see a movie once in a while…

But the biggest thing that happened by far was… Kiritsugu's death.

It should have been obvious to Shirou that something was wrong. The man had been more lethargic. He had been coughing more, and after a point he had simply given up trying to hide the blood that was coming out of his mouth…

Shirou assumed that all the man needed was to be exposed to his projections of Avalon enough to get better. He should have known otherwise…

But despite all this, Kiritsugu's last few hours on earth were relatively calm. He didn't cough. He wasn't in pain. He didn't lament. All he did was sit in his favorite spot on his porch with his son, drink tea, look at the beautiful summer moon, and talk to his son. They talked about several things. Dreams. Magic. Taiga. Ilya and Iri. Adventures. After a while Shirou was simply talking constantly, thinking that his father was listening to him but just too tired to talk but with that relaxed smile on his face that the man had given him when they both first entered the home and made Shirou believe he had a family again. It wasn't until later that Shirou discovered why Kiritsugu didn't talk anymore.

The man's funeral had been postponed for some reason. According to his will, his body was to be taken to a special location in Europe for some kind of preparation that he specifically wanted before being cremated, as how most natives treated their bodies, and returned to Japan to be buried at the Ryuudou Temple.

Aside from Shirou and a good portion of Taiga's family, only Waver and Sirius were there for the funeral.

"It's not yer fault lad…" Sirius had told the boy when Shirou brought up the idea that he could have done more to help Kiritsugu. "He knew his time was comin' b'fore he even adopted ya. Ah can tell ya right now that he lasted tis long only cause of ya… and he went out with a happy smile on his face, the bastard. Tat's a lot more than he ever could have hoped for considerin' what his life was like…"

"Shirou…" Waver knelt down in front of the boy after Sirius' words of comfort. "Kiritsugu asked us to help continue with your magic education after he died… but we can't be here all the time. In order for us to properly train you even a fair amount, you would have to come with us to England during your major school breaks, the spring, winter and summer ones, and self teach yourself when you are here. That won't be much of an issue since we had already set up additional bounded fields around your home to increase your privacy to that of a workshop, and double that for the shed which technically is your workshop, however we wanted to ask your permission to do so first. Sirius and I are fairly busy people, so we need to plan all of this beforehand in order to make things work…" There was a brief pause. "Kiritsugu may not have told you this, but there is going to be a very dangerous event held in Fuyuki in a several years that he initially didn't want or expect you to be in, but things have come to light that have changed everything. All three of us have been training you to be prepared for it when the time comes since you, of all people are the best hope we have at resolving this said event without things getting out of control." He took out a long wooden box and gave it to the boy. "Kiritsugu and us had put several things in here that would prepare you when the time comes. The box will not open until the appropriate time, and trust me it will let you know when that is. The letters in here are enchanted so that only the person who it is intended for can open and read it. Keep this in your home where no one will find it…"

That had been over a month ago. The sword element magus had already come and gone to England for his first session of training since Kiritsugu's body had returned during the middle of his summer break, and even though he was exhausted mentally and physically he could tell that Sirius and Waver had gone easy on him due to him still getting used to his father's death. It had annoyed him somewhat that he couldn't check out the clock tower since his existence was supposed to be somewhat of a secret, but he couldn't complain much since his lessons were already more than enough for him to handle and his homework for his next trip to England was just as tedious, which unfortunately included English which he wasn't that good at in the first place.

… It didn't help that Sirius was the first one to try to kick start his lessons in that particular language… that is until Waver finally got wind of what was happening and rescued the very confused and frustrated boy.

At the moment though, Shirou was simply sitting on a park bench near his home and staring off into the sky. School would start in a few days and Taiga had been smothering him since he got back home. He wanted some time to himself…

"You're back…" Mumbled a small voice to his side, snapping him out of his absent minded state. He turned to see the familiar purple haired girl looking at him almost curiously from the side.

"Oh um… you're… Sakura right?" Shirou asked, trying to remember the girl's name. He had not seen her since that day he walked her back to her home. "How are you doing?"

The girl didn't respond at first as she looked at the boy with defeated eyes, as if looking for something. "Thank you." She said softly.

"Huh?" The boy blinked.

"For back then." She continued. "The bullies… I never thanked you before…"

"Oh…" He laughed nervously before scratching his head. "Yeah. Thanks."

"I would like to thank your father too…" She continued, stopping as Shirou froze before sagging in his seat. "Something wrong?"

"Dad died a few months ago." The boy said in a sad tone.

The girl's eyes flashed for a moment. Whether it was pity or mirth no one could tell. "I'm sorry for your loss…" She muttered. "He was a very scary person though…"

"That was the only time he was like that." Shirou argued. "Normally he was very kind. He was pretty sloppy at times and he couldn't cook for the life of him… but he was a good dad. The best…" He shook his head before smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. I bet you don't want to hear about my problems after we just met again."

"What will you do now?" The girl asked, a tinge of curiosity in her otherwise empty voice. "Did you move?"

"Ah… no." Shirou shook his head. "Dad left me the house." He pointed to the general direction he lived in. "My neighbors are scary and weird, but they're nice and are taking care of everything else for me. I'm starting secondary school soon so I'm thinking of trying to get a job or do something to earn money soon to pay for food and not be a burden on everyone. I'm pretty good at repairing things even though I'm young." He puffed out his chest proudly. "I fixed old man Fujimura's motorcycle a few days ago and he paid me a lot of money. The good thing is that he keeps on breaking it since a lot of the parts are old from what I've heard so I won't have to worry about paying for food…" He looks to the side slightly annoyed. "… So long as Fuji-nee doesn't come over for dinner every night…"

"He left you his home?" The girl tilted her head to the side curiously. "What about your mom?"

Shirou calmed down a bit. "I'm adopted." He said bluntly. "My real parents died in the city fire a few years ago and dad never married."

"So you're all alone now…" She said aloud, not really to anyone in particular.

"Yeah…" The boy sighed. "But dad and Sirius-jiji and Waver-Nii said that I'm stubborn as heck so I should be able to take care of myself just fine. If I can't… well then Sirius-jiji and Waver-nii said that if that happened they would come over here, beat up whoever's giving me a hard time… then beat me up for taking up their time…" He laughed nervously. Almost all of his recent training in England had been practical application of his magic to fighting… and he had to learn quickly if he wanted to live a good portion of the time. He could confidently say that he could at least fight with a sword now… though he had to alter it to fit his body size… and he had no real style… and for the most part all he was really good at the moment was running away and dodging with a sword in hand…

Shirou loved Sirius like a crazy drunk fun grandfather… but the problem was that Sirius taught like a crazy drunk fun demonic grandfather that couldn't hold back.

The girl looked at him for a little while longer before turning to walk away. "I have to go back home… would it be ok if we meet here again?" She asked.

"Sure." The boy shrugged. "I'll probably rest here on the weekends after food shopping if I don't have anything else to do."

She nodded. "I will see you next weekend… sempai."

"Sempai?" Shirou tilted his head to the side. "My name is Shirou Emiya. You can just call me that Sakura. You're younger than me?"

She shook her head. "I have another year to do before I go to secondary school. You are my senior. I have to respect that." With that she walked away back up the hill to where her home was.

"Weird girl." Shirou mused. "Better not tell Fuji-nee about her. Knowing her she'd probably just do something weirder…"

o. o. o.

Sakura entered her home quietly… but not unnoticed.

"I see you've been going out occasionally during the weekends." Zouken Matou mused curiously. "Have you made a friend?"

Sakura knew better than to lie to the seemingly frail old man. "Yes. His name is Shirou Emiya and he is my sempai by a year." She answered bluntly.

The old man's eyebrows raised in surprise for a moment before they lowered again. "Emiya? Is his father's name by chance Kiritsugu Emiya?"

"If it is it doesn't matter." She replied somewhat nervous. If her new friend had her grandfather's interest already… "His father recently died."

Zouken once more expressed a sign of shock and amusement, which disturbed the girl even more despite the fact that she did not show it. "I see…" He mused, almost disappointed. "A shame. Poor boy." He shook his head in seemingly pity before walking away, his soft steps unheard and his cane barely making any more sound than that. "You can play with the boy so long as you do not use it as an excuse to skip your training…"

The girl remained quiet for several seconds, not truly believing that the old demon had given her so much leniency. "Th-thank you." She quickly bowed before going straight to her room, not believing her fortune or this turn of events…

"Shirou… Emiya…" Zouken mused as he went down the secret staircase down to where he kept his familiars. "… If he truly is the heir to Kiritsugu… then he would no doubt be a contender for the next war…" The old man knew that the next Heaven's Feel ritual would occur far sooner than anticipated. His study of Sakura's body with the implanted shards of the previous grail and his knowledge of the structure of the ritual itself had told him this much. "… It would be wise to keep an eye on him for the time being…" He smirked. "This war should prove to be more interesting than I had originally anticipated… and I may have come to possess a new key piece sooner than expected…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

FINALLY! Ugh. This chapter was such a pain to write for some reason.

So just to give everyone a heads up, I edited Chapter 2 so that Sakura doesn't know of Shirou yet so this chapter doesn't conflict with it. I came up with this idea while writing the chapter and it fit so well that I just had to do it.

Just to let everyone know, some other changes that I made to cannon are as follows:

Waver's age: I made him 3 years younger because in general, he acted and looked too much like a kid in fate zero to be 19 years old.

Shirou's recovery and dealing with his implanted crest: Normally it has a huge toll on whoever its implanted on, especially if it's a non blood relative, but yeah, Avalon is a great excuse.

So for people going "Noo! Not Sakura romance!"… Learn to read and write a plot. I'm just establishing a relationship between them. Just because a boy and a girl meet in a story first doesn't mean that they'll automatically have sex later on. Shirou'll be meeting Rin in the next chapter anyways. I'll be adding a few more training scenes too in order to make things more interesting.

All I know at the moment is that 1: Shirou isn't going to be paired with Bazett or Taiga (for me the romance age limitation range is as follows: it's a max age difference of 3 years when the characters are in their mid to late teens, 5-6 max when in their 20-30 range, with the only exception to the rule being when you go for refuge in audacity with one of the characters in the pairing being SO bloody old… yet still amazingly hot… that it really just doesn't matter at that point).

2. If I do get decide on a pairing for him, it will be semi-harem, but said romance will not the main focus of the story. It's not my style to focus on emotionally romantic parts, and I frankly feel that I would suck at it. Not to mention that I prefer to focus my writing on the epic and funny side of things.

And 3. NO LEMONS! I don't do them. Period. I hint at them. I give ideas. I make jokes about them. I will even mention that characters x and y had sex in the story. But I NEVER write lemons. If you are disappointed, then you obviously haven't been on the internet for a long time and don't know where to look.

So that's all I got for now. First episode of Carnival Phantasm is coming out tomorrow and I'm bouncing up and down to finally get some more animated type moon into my system.

So Review! Worship the Log! Beware of Neko-Arc! And Review again!