A sex trafficking case brought their worlds colliding together once more. Olivia was able to witness for herself how deep undercover Elliot was.
"I agree with Bernie Elliot. I want you to come home."
"I intend to."
"Before it's too late."
"Liv, I'm being careful."
"I mean," she said cupping his face as she continued,
"Before Eddie Wagner takes over and Elliot Stabler is nowhere to be found."
As she drove home to say that she was frustrated would be an understatement. Despite the boundaries she had set in place, there was a part of her that was always drawn to wanting to rescue him. It was an instinct born from their partnership all those years ago that she had never been able to shake, even after he left and abandoned her for 10 years.
Kathleen had asked her to join them at the cemetery to celebrate Kathy's birthday. While the letter gave her a pause and made her doubt the sincerity of their friendship, she couldn't bring herself to say no to Kathleen.
"The last 9 months have been a blur. Until Wheatley goes to trial there's no closure."
"Carisi said Wheatley is out of postponements. The clock is ticking."
"Tick faster.
When Olivia got home she found Rafael pacing in the living room running his hand through his hair. He looked like a caged animal and he certainly felt like it. He knew the conversation he was about to have was not going to end well.
"Rafa, what's wrong? Where's Noah?"
"He's with Lucy. I asked her to take him to the park so we could talk."
"Rafa, you're scaring me." She said taking his hand in hers to stop his pacing and to still his thoughts.
"Hey, talk to me." She said crouching down a little so she can look up at him as his eyes were focused on the floor.
"I needed you to know before you heard it from anyone else."
"What Rafa?"
"Richard Wheatley asked to see me today."
"Rafa no." She said shaking her head.
"You can't be serious." She asked in disbelief.
"Why are you doing this?" He looked at her in disbelief, that was her first question.
"Because it's wrong. If the DA's office can bring a case like this against someone as wealthy as Wheatley then that gives them licence to railroad any defendant at any time." He explained passionately. Much like the same way they used to argue about a case all those years ago,
"Richard Wheatley is guilty."
"Then let the state prove it, that's how this works. They had 30 RICO charges they let slide, 30 and they cherry pick this one. Why, because 1pp pressured them."
"I get that's how you're justifying this to yourself but I am asking you not to take this case. " Rafael shook his head, he knew why she was asking. More who she was asking for.
"Be careful what you wish for. I step aside whatever shark Wheatley hires will put not just the NYPD and Stabler on trial but you. You! Not just your partnership with Stabler, but your relationship." Olivia shook her head and turned away.
"He never should have been allowed anywhere near this investigation. Liv, they will eviscerate you on the stand, maybe end your career." His voice begging her to hear what it was he was trying to say.
"So which is it? Are you protecting me or is this your defence attorney outrage?" Rafa stared her down,
"Or is this about Stabler?" She asked going below the belt. She watched as his face hardened.
"I don't know Stabler." Olivia shook her head.
"Maybe it's the first 2 out of 3." He finally relented. Olivia dropped her gaze,
"I know you're sure Wheatley is guilty,"
"I am."
"That does not give the NYPD the right to frame him."
"Rafa."
Silence filled the room. They knew they were at an impasse. For Rafael, he felt either way he lost. She watched as his shoulders drooped in defeat. Immediately she stood to her feet to place a hand on his arm.
"I'm sorry," she said regretfully realising how he interpreted their whole exchange.
"After everything we've been through, especially in the last 9 months. I would have thought your faith in my humanity was worth more than what it clearly amounted to. Really? You can ask if this is about Stabler? Disregarding everything I just said. You know as well as I do this case is weak at best which is why you're so adamant I drop this case. A baby lawyer could win this case." Rafa's eyes revealed all the emotions he was feeling and it took her breath away.
"Don't you think I am aware of what Wheatley is capable of? I watched as a car gunned for the person I love simply because of her connection to Stabler who waged a war with a mob boss. Did it really not even cross your mind to ask yourself why I would ever consider taking this on? Why out of all the lawyers in the world it was me Wheatley pulled out of what might as well be retirement?" Disappointment evident in his whole demeanour.
"I thought you knew me. But I guess it's Stabler who you know, better than anyone." He quoted her from her conversation with Amanda making her heart drop to her feet.
"I mean why else would you be ok to turn a blind eye to everything Elliot has done since he's been back right? You didn't for one second think to think about my side, you immediately came at me for taking this on." It was instinct something in her screamed but she knew that wasn't going to help her argument or undo the hurt she had inflicted.
"Rafa," Sorrow filled her voice and he saw the shift in her demeanour and he knew they were finally on the same page. Wordlessly he held his hands up in front of him as he stepped back and it felt like he had physically slapped her.
"Rafa please," She pleaded trying to reach for him. Rafael turned his back on her as he tried to gather himself. She watched as he wiped his face with his hands.
"I really thought we had a shot you know." He said in quiet defeat.
"No, No. You don't get to throw the towel in." Olivia said walking around so that she stood in front of him and her heart broke at the hurt that dominated his face. Olivia cupped his face with both hands trying to hold his gaze,
"You don't get to give up on us. We're a team remember."
"No, we're not. That's just it. We're not. That's you and your partner. You and I, I don't know what we are but we're not that." He replied stoically.
"That's not true Rafa. I am sorry. Baby I am so sorry!" Rafael just shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm going to go. I'll come by tomorrow and talk to Noah. I'll explain it to him." He said numbly going through the motions.
"Rafi," Olivia pleaded. Desperately she pulled the chain from beneath his shirt and held up the ring that was hanging on it.
"Remember this? This means not giving up no matter how hard it gets. Even when I screw up and I am so sorry for screwing up over and over again. But you promised Rafi. You promised me. You promised Noah. Before you mother and before God. No giving up. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry if it seemed I questioned everything we shared. I am sorry that it seems like I keep choosing Elliot. I am sorry for so many things. But Rafa you don't get to walk away. You promised." Olivia said as she sobbed clutching his shirt in one hand while the other held his wedding ring.
They were married in Hawaii. On their first week in Hawaii after spending a perfect day out in the sun with Noah the three of them were watching the sunset from the deck of their AirBnB. Olivia was sat between Rafael's legs, her back against his chest. Noah was leaning against him on his right. Taking the moment Rafael had dropped his lips to her bare shoulder, kissed her temple and whispered,
"Marry me?" Olivia stilled and without hesitation said yes. Rafael grinned and pulled out the ring in his pocket.
"Really?" Noah asked not having caught their exchange until Rafael nudged him as he took the ring out.
"Wait you knew? Did you plan this?"
"Of course I knew. Papi asked me first. He's been carrying that ring around forever."
"Kid, she's going to keep asking questions the more answers you give her." Rafael said laughing as he slipped the ring on her finger.
"Is that true?" Rafael shrugged.
"Rafi," she prodded.
"Later," he compromised not necessarily wanting to have the conversation in front of Noah to which she nodded in agreement.
"It's beautiful. I love it." She said looking at the white gold diamond ring. She could tell it by the intricate detail that it was antique.
"It was my Abuelita's ring." He replied pleased that she loved it. Olivia pulled his face to hers and kissed him.
"Eww, stop." Noah said pretending to be disgusted making them both laugh.
"You good with this Mijo?" Rafael asked,
"Ya es hora Papi," Noah answered.
That evening after dinner, a few rounds of Spot It and Noah was in bed the two of them lay in the hammock on the deck watching the stars.
"Rafa,"
"Hmmm," he answered knowing where their conversation was headed.
"How long?"
"Will you take awhile as an answer."
"No, I want specifics."
"Of course you do? But you don't need it." He assured her.
"Rafa,"
"Yes Liv,"
"Were you going to propose on our anniversary?"
"You know sometimes I hate that you're a detective." He replied. Olivia sat up to look at him.
"I'm sorry."
"Liv, stop. This was better. Perfect even. It was the right time." Olivia brought her lips to his and kissed him deeply.
"Rafa,"
"Yes Liv,"
"Let's get married now."
"Like this minute?"
"If possible yes, but I meant more while we're here. Maybe when Mami comes for the week so she can be here, because I do not want to be at receiving end of a Cuban mother's heartbreak of missing her only child, precious little boy's wedding day." Rafael laughed,
"Only because you're avoiding the karma that Noah will just elope one day depriving you of Mother of the Groom duties."
"That too. So your thoughts."
"I'm in. I'd marry you right now, but I too do not want to be at the receiving end of my mother's wrath. I do however suggest we don't tell her until we're at the ceremony."
"Are you trying to deprive your mother the opportunity to smother you with all of her fussing prior to our wedding?"
"Why Liv, how you know my mother so well."
On the Thursday night that Lucia arrived they had a ceremony on the beach by their AirBnB with a celebrant, Noah and Lucia. Afterwards the four of them ate at a fancy restaurant. Lucia offered to hang with Noah for the weekend and encouraged the two of them to take a mini honeymoon on the Big Island just the two of them. They flew out Friday morning and came back on Monday night after spending most of the time in their room at their resort.
They had planned to announce their marriage upon their return. Celebrate by throwing a small reception with their closest friends, but life got busy. Elliot reappeared. Olivia, like Rafael wore her wedding ring on a chain along with her engagement ring more because of the job than anything else. He had officially adopted Noah with the help and discretion of Judge Linden who was pleased that Noah was thriving.
"You promised for better or for worse. You promised you would never walk away from me no matter how mad I get you. Rafa please." Taking him by the hand she led him to their bedroom and closed the door. She held his face with both hands stared into his eyes,
"I love you, I want spend the rest of my life with you and Noah. You two are my whole world. Nothing else matters. I am sorry I didn't hear you. I am sorry." Olivia brought her lips to his and kissed him. Rafael remained motionless before her so Olivia had wrapped her arms around his neck as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes,
"Rafi," Rafael met her lips with his and tentatively kissed her back as she desperately deepened their kiss wanting to just forget the last 45 minutes. She pushed him gently to the bed as she continued to kiss him. Her hands roamed all over his body as he slipped his hand beneath her shirt and he unbuttoned her jeans. Several minutes later as they came together and undone they clung to one another. As he remained inside her Olivia held on to him afraid to let him go.
"Liv, I love you. I always will. I didn't marry you out of a whim. Us making it was a non negotiable for me. I get you don't want to lose me. Or us. I just don't know if you want us for all the right reasons anymore." He confessed as he slipped out of her and from under her sitting up, hands to his head.
"I deserve that. That's fair." She replied solemnly.
"I haven't been very good at holding my end of the bargain. I've been absent, preoccupied and unreasonable. Through it all you have been patient. You've supported and you've fought for me. Even when I didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it now but I am asking you for a chance here Rafa. Not for Noah. Not for our family. For me. The person who's been squabbling with you from the first moment we met. I know I've taken you for granted. I know how deeply I've hurt you on more than one occasion in the last 9 months. I know you think I am scared to lose you which is why I won't let you go. Yes, that's true. But Rafa I want you, I want us because you're my best friend. You know me inside and out and you love me anyway. I want you. I want us because I can't imagine waking up in the mornings without you beside me. I want you. I want us because when you're not with me, I can't breathe. That despite how I have been behaving knowing you're with me is the only thing that calms me. I want you. I want us because you're it for me Rafa. I would never had said yes that night in Hawaii if I wasn't all in."
"I have to take this case Liv."
"I don't care."
"You say that now."
"Rafa, I don't care." She repeated. Rafael nodded.
"I can't stay here while the trial is on."
"Rafa,"
"It's going to be rough Liv. I don't want to bring that home. I won't do that to Noah. To us. This place is our sanctuary and I won't let the next couple of weeks taint our home. I will still do homework and do bedtime over FaceTime. I will explain it to him."
"And us?" His pause frightened her.
"That's always been up to you Liv. The balls always been in your court." She knew he was giving her the next couple of weeks to figure out if they were what she really wanted. That whilst he knew she loved him, he wasn't as easily convinced as he once was. Something broke.
"I always knew we would take a hit when I took Wheatley on. I just hadn't anticipated that your instinct for Stabler would win over everything we've been through. I understand why, I do but I'm finding it really hard to unsee and unfeel that moment. Maybe the time apart is what we need. I'm not giving up on us. I just want to give you the time you never had to really ask yourself what it is you want with Stabler. Ask yourself why that even after he walked away from 10 years without a word or a backward glance your first instinct is to put him first." Rafael got up and put his clothes back on as they heard the front door. Olivia's gaze fell on the packed suitcase by the door. It hurt her heart to know he anticipated the reaction he got, that it would result with him leaving them.
When she came downstairs she could see that he and Noah were sitting on the couch. Rafael was explaining to Noah that he had a case that required him to work away from home for a couple of weeks, maybe less. He promised to still call every day and that Noah can call him any time of day and he would always answer as long as he wasn't in court. Noah launched himself at Rafa wrapping his arms around his neck.
"Papi, I wish you didn't have to go."
"Me too my little love, but it won't be long and you can see me every day again." It didn't escape Olivia that he didn't promise he would be home.
"Qué pasa si me asusto y no estás aquí? lo que tengo otra pesadilla. no estarás aquí para acostarte conmigo." (what if i get scared and you're not here. what i have another nightmare. you won't be here to lay with me.)
"Then you call me. Mami will lay with you. Or Lucy. Someone will always be with you Mijo."
"Qué pasa si ese hombre aterrador vuelve y molesta a mamá?" (What if that scary man comes again and upsets Mama?) Noah whispered in his ear. Olivia watched as Rafael stiffened at whatever Noah said.
"Luego vas directo a tu habitación. Cierra la puerta y llama a Papi. Estaré aquí tan pronto como pueda. Enviaré al tío Fin por delante si es necesario. ¿Me escuchas?" (Then you go straight to your room. Close the door and call Papi. I will be here as soon as I can. I will send Uncle Fin ahead if I have to. You hear me?) Noah nodded.
"Noh, you need to tell Mami what you told me." Rafael said as he cupped his cheek as Noah shook his head.
"One of us has to Mijo, she needs to know so it won't happen again. She won't be mad at you." Noah hesitantly nodded.
"Will you tell her?" Noah asked with his big brown eyes as Rafael nodded pressing his lips to Noah's forehead.
"Why don't you help Lucy with dinner and I'll say goodbye before I head off."
"Can you stay for bedtime?"
"Sure Mijo."
"Gracias papi. te amo tanto." (Thank you Papi. I love you so much.)
"te amo niño Hasta la luna y de regreso." (I love you kid. Up to the moon and back again).
As Noah went to the kitchen Rafael waited until he was out of ear shot.
"Well we now know what re-triggered his nightmares. He woke up when Elliot came over that night."
"Oh Sweet Boy."
"I told him if it happens again he's to go to his room and close the door. To then call me."
"It will never happen again." She stated evenly as he nodded standing to his feet. He placed a comforting hand on her arm before joining Noah and Lucy in the kitchen.
Rafael had walked Lucy out to the elevator and Olivia knew it was to give her a heads up on the next couple of weeks.
"Will you guys be okay?" Lucy asked worriedly. He knew what she was asking.
"I hope so Luc. Look after them for me. Let me know if you need anything. Any time of day okay?" Lucy nodded and hugged Rafael.
"You take care."
"I will." He promised.
The three of them had a fun dinner together. Reminiscent of the ones they had during Hawaii and soon after Hawaii. Olivia knew Rafael was doing his best to leave Noah on a good note. They played a couple of rounds of Bananagrams before reluctantly sending Noah off to get ready for bed. That night wasn't a one chapter night but multiple chapters kind of a night. Noah clung to him until he fell asleep and Rafael held him long after he was done reading. Olivia watched them from the door her heart ached. How she wished she could undo that afternoon. The last 9 months with the exception of their wedding.
Rafael was booked into a hotel near the courthouse. He didn't have an office and he had taken a couple of weeks off from Columbia so he would primarily be working from his hotel. He went to grab his suitcase from their bedroom and looked at their unmade bed from their afternoon and tears began to well in his eyes. He took a deep breath and headed downstairs where she was sitting in the dining room. She was sitting in one of their dining chairs, knees to her chest, face buried into her legs as she wept. His heart broke at the sight of her. Rafael squatted before her, trying to meet her downward gaze.
"Liv," his voice cracked as she looked up at him.
"You promised Rafa. You promised."
"Liv I'm going to the hotel to work. I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving Noah. I'm not walking away. Do you think I want to go? Do you think my heart isn't breaking right now? That I want to leave either of you. God Liv,"
"I don't want you to go. Because what if you go and decide this isn't worth it. That I've screwed up one time too many."
"Liv sweetheart. My soul and my heart is tied to you. I'm not the one who decides. It's you. It's always been you." Rafael dropped a kiss to her head and stood to his feet. Olivia jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. Rafael hugged her tightly.
"I love you Olivia Margaret Benson. Always,"
"And I love you." She replied.
"I know,"
"Do you?" She asked as he nodded.
"Loving each other was never our problem Liv." Rafael kissed her deeply before saying goodbye.
The following morning Elliot was waiting for her at the precinct.
"Rafael Barba, you know him?" Hello to you too Elliot. She replied in her head.
"Yeah I do." Better than I've ever known you. Not that he'd believe me now.
"He's representing Wheatley. Is he any good?"
"Very," she answered.
"Liv, Barba's here. Do you want me to?" Fin wasn't quite sure how to finish that sentence.
"It's okay." She assured him. It wasn't ideal but it had to happen some time. Rafael appeared behind Fin in one of his more somber 3 piece suits. His beard groomed, shoes shined. It had been awhile since she'd seen Counsellor Barba. Admittedly it took her breath away a little.
"Rafael Barba, Elliot Stabler." Olivia introduced as she stood behind Elliot. Rafael schooled his features but she saw the hurt in his eyes he saw them walk in together.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Rafael said sincerely,
"Are you?" Elliot challenged as he stood close to Rafael, using his height to intimidate him. Rafael and Liv saw Fin take a step forward and Amanda standing to her feet, the subtle movement of Rafael's hand stopped them both. It then occurred to Elliot.
"Wait, he's your kid's father." Rafael saw Olivia wince,
"Yes he is." She replied without hesitation.
"A lawyer Liv? Well at least you snapped out of it." For some reason he thought they were no longer together.
"Man, this isn't the place." Fin said gesturing towards Olivia's office suggesting they take it up in her office.
"I'm done here. Thanks Fin," Rafael said as he stepped aside and decided there was nothing else left to say. He gave Olivia a nod who grabbed his arm holding him in place,
"Elliot, if you could wait in my office I'll be with you in a minute. Rafael, a moment." She said gesturing to one of the interrogation rooms.
"It's fine Liv. I'm fine. Let's not do this here." He said suddenly exhausted as she closed the door behind them.
"That's it. You're coming with me." Olivia said frustrated,
"Liv,"
"I'm not asking Barba." Rafael followed her as she stormed towards her own office, calling out to Fin, Amanda and Sonny as she did. The four of them followed somewhat confused but Rafael caught that look in her face.
"Olivia, you don't have to do this." He said calmly as she shut the door once they were all in the office.
"Yes I do." She replied.
"Elliot Stabler, Rafael Barba,"
"Liv, we did this already," Elliot interrupted but she held a hand up.
"My husband," she added as she slipped her hand into Rafael's.
"Damn," Fin said with a chuckle,
"Since when?" Amanda asked with a grin,
"Second week Hawaii," Rafael answered as Amanda hugged him happily not caring who was in the room.
"So as you can see Elliot I didn't snap out of it. He's the most infuriating human being in the world but I love him. He loves me. He loves our child. He would do anything in the name of protecting me and my career. That includes shoving me out of the way of an oncoming car aimed for me and taking on a psychopaths as clients to ensure I don't have to live through the worst moments of my life on the stand again if another defence attorney had accepted the job. Yeah I figured it out Rafa. You're not that mysterious." Rafael chuckled and squeezed her hand.
"Isn't this a bit of a conflict of interest if you're a witness Liv? Not that I'm not thrilled you two have finally tied the knot. I am."
"Judge knows. Wheatley picked me knowing I had a relationship with Liv. He was counting on it causing ripples. You would have been filled in when you got to your office which is where I was headed after here. It's above board. I'm not cross examining Liv. I am head point in this but Rita has been involved from get go which was my condition with Wheatley so there is no question of conflict."
"You failed to mention that." Olivia said dryly. Elliot glared in anyone's general direction.
"Now that you got that out of your system and made your point, which I do appreciate I am going to walk Carisi back to his office. I'll call you later." Olivia nodded as she laced their fingers together briefly before letting go. Rafael dropped a kiss to her temple as he ran his hand down her back once to soothe her knowing she was about to get into it with Stabler. Sonny, Fin and Amanda followed Rafael out of her office. Olivia watched as Fin slapped Rafael's back happily, she couldn't help but smile at the three of them. She sighed as she looked back at Elliot.
"A lawyer?"
"You still stuck on that? Yes a lawyer. Rafael was the best ADA I've ever worked with. He's honest. Decent. He's the best man I've ever known."
"Now he works for the defence?"
"No, he's a full time Academic Professor at Columbia Law. In the end the hours worked better with juggling a kids schedule. Wheatley sought him out knowing the connection. He wanted to rattle all our cages and he got what he wanted. There are things that happened whilst you were away. Terrible things. Things that changed me. Things that still haunt me. Rafa knows all of that. He knew if he had said no to Wheatley he would make sure another lawyer brought all of that up. Not just to discredit me, or to ruin my career but to undo me. And it would have. Rafael risked our marriage by taking this on knowing how I would initially react and not immediately connect the dots. I hurt him. Like I have been in a lot of the things I've been doing since you've returned. You blew into my life and I have let you pull at me in all directions and push me away. You've not once thought about how your return has affected my life. How you keep demanding my complete attention when it suits you for what benefits you. I have gone against my better judgement again and again for the nostalgia of what we once were. Not anymore."
"Liv,"
"It's not all on you. I allowed it. It stops now."
Rafael exhaustedly let himself into his hotel room later that night. He and Rita had spent the night in her office as they went through their plan for the next day. They made both detest Wheatley but the chargers against him were weak at best. They knew that NYPD was grasping at straws. They were pretty confident that they could get the case dismissed, but it was going to be a fight. One that may cost him his marriage.
He wasn't particularly surprised to find her in his suite laying on his bed wearing the hoodie he wore to bed the night before asleep. He shook his coat and jacket off before sitting on the edge of the bed running his fingers through her hair as she stirred. He brought his face to heck and kissed her collarbone waking her. Olivia wrapped her arms around his head and she captured his lips with hers.
"I'm not sure of flashing your badge to get in the room of the defence attorney of someone you loathe was a smart use of your super power." He said as they broke for air.
" I didn't flash them my badge. I told them you were my husband."
"That's so much better." He replied rolling his eyes at her.
"You shouldn't be here." He pointed out.
"Rafa. I miss you. Despite what you think I just want to be with you. Can we please just forget for a moment and youb hold me." Rafael sighed and lay beside her gathering her in his arms.
"I hate this." She muttered against his chest.
"I thought we were forgetting?" He pointed out.
"Dinner sucked,"
"Did you cook?" He asked as she let out a genuine laugh and jabbed him on the side.
"Yes but not because of that you doosch bag. We missed you."
"Wasn't a fun night for me either." He replied.
"Noah said you met him at the park and he got to hug you."
"Admittedly, I needed it more than he did."
"I talked to Stabler,"
"How did that go?"
"I think he still has whiplash," she answered honestly.
"I think we all do. I really appreciate what you did today, but I never wanted to pressure you into that moment."
"You didn't. It was long overdue. I'm sorry it took me so long." Rafael brought his lips to her forehead.
"Are you sure you can't come home?"
"Yeah. I'm not staying here to punish you. Things are going to get ugly in court. I don't want us bringing that home and we will without meaning to and I want our home to remain a sanctuary for Noah. No shop talk." He explained.
"You and I both know we're not the type of people who can just leave it at the door. Or table things. This conversation being a great exhibit a. Olivia chuckled.
"I just feel like the more time I let you stew in your head the more we can't come back from this."
"I know you do. We'll get through this, the way we always do."
"With bloodshed?" Rafael laughed,
"What else? It's not like we ever signed up for easy."