As the trial began Rafael wasn't kidding when he said it was going to get ugly. Richard Wheatley was baiting Olivia at every corner. He had asked to see her and of course she agreed to it. Rafael sent Rita to be present knowing he couldn't go. Before Olivia could go in to see Wheatley he had asked to meet her at the park. He was sitting on one end of what was their park bench, a steaming hot cup of coffee was waiting for her on the other side. Gratefully she sat down and brought it to her lips with a resounding sigh.
"Before you go in and see Wheatley, I'm going to give you a heads up." He said purposely not looking at her,
"Rafa no." She protested taking a quick glance at him.
"Liv, just listen. It's personal." Olivia gave him a nod.
"His wife is about to testify. He's going to elude to something that's going to elicit a response from you. I don't want you to get blind sided. I don't want you to react. That's what he's waiting for."
"Rafa, I know."
"Liv, before tomorrow I'd talk to Stabler about Angela Wheatley."
"What? Why?" And then it dawned on her. Despite how it shouldn't, it hurt. Rafael didn't need to look at her to know it. Rafael stood to his feet,
"I'll see you at the courthouse."
"Thank you." She said softly.
"Of course." He replied with with a shrug.
"I don't just mean the heads up. I mean today at the cross. I mean Rita was still pretty brutal but I know how much worse it could have been. I know you stopped that video where you did for me." It made her a little sick to remember her initial reaction towards his trying to be transparent with her by telling her.
"All we did was keep focus on Stabler, that's our job." He assured her with a distinct air of professionalism but she saw right through it.
"Can you please tell my husband to call me later?" She called out as he started to walk away and he held his hand up in the air with a slight wave without turning around, much like he used to when he would begrudgingly agree to a warrant he knew he had no business in getting but did simply because she asked him and convinced him to. Olivia smiled as her phone vibrated and saw a message pop up,
"Your husband says you drive him crazy but he loves you."
"You tell my husband it's my job and I love him too. That I miss him. That our bed is lonely without him and that our child and I may be starving in his absence." Rafael laughed upon reading her response.
"Pronto mi amor. Espero que esto acabe pronto." (Soon my love. I am hoping this will be over soon.)
As Rafael warned Richard Wheatley did elude to Stabler and his wife having some sort of involvement. It made her feel sick the second time around. Richard Wheatley had suggested that they should discourage Stabler's kids from being present during Angela's cross examination so she knew whatever was about to come to light, it wasn't going to be pretty.
Olivia was missing dinner due to work so Rafael had taken Noah out to dinner. Noah missed having Rafael at home even though it had only a few days since Rafael had temporarily taken residence in the hotel. Rafael saw the shift and had spoken to Liv about taking him out on a Papi and Me dinner and maybe have him spend the night with him. She too was worried and between the trial and their own case load, she wasn't getting home as early as she would like especially when she was the only parent in their home. She was leaving the courthouse rather late that evening when she saw Elliot coming her way.
"Hey." He greeted,
"Hey," she replied.
"I heard Calhoun was tough on you."
"I'll live." She knew it could have been worse than what it was.
"Angela Wheatley's testimony is coming up next. Any reason why I shouldn't be there."
"Why would you ask me that?"
"I was warned."
"By who?"
"Whatever happened between you and Angela, Wheatley knows. Which means Barba and Calhoun knows and they're going to use it."
"Wheatley doesn't know anything. He's just stirring up Barba and Barba's stirring you up." I know when my husband is stirring me up and this is not one of those times. You have no idea who my husband is her inner voice raged.
"You're not answering the question."
"That's none of your business, or the courts. The question is, why are you really asking?" Well wow, you're arrogant. Olivia bristled,
"I wish I could trust you Elliot," she said as she began to walk away
"Liv, what does that mean?" He called out as she turned to look back at him.
"I know that you are carving your way through a mountain of grief and I have tried to be here for you." Almost at the cost of my marriage and my husband,
"But this, this is a one way street Elliot. You have not asked me one question about what has happened to me since you left. You show up at my house in the middle of the night when my son is there asleep. That was hard for me. Scary. And this letter. Why did you give me that letter. A letter you didn't even write. What was that about?"
"I'm not sure I know. I guess I didn't know how to begin." He said actually looking remorseful.
"That makes two of us." She replied before finally walking away.
Olivia didn't want to go home knowing that Noah was staying with Rafael in his hotel room. It was a school night but they all felt it was what Noah needed and if Rafael was honest, he needed too. They had sent her pictures of dinner, which was room service in Rafael's hotel room wearing one of their matching pjs. They had FaceTimed her whilst she was still in Carisi's office. Rafael saw the sadness in her eyes and felt for her. The last few days had been anything but easy and with Angela's testimony tomorrow, it was only bound to get worse. She sighed as she let herself into their home bracing herself for the loneliness that awaited her. She missed both her boys but she longed for her husband. She longed to be held by him. She hadn't touched him since the night of when she had told Elliot about them being married. They had been very strict with propriety and she wanted to say the hell with it but she understood that Rafael was making the lines clear for all of them.
"You look like you could use a hug?" He observed against the hallway as she walked in the door. Olivia burst into tears as she dropped everything she was holding in her arms and walked straight into his arms.
"Baby, I'm here."
"I just want all this to be over so you can come home." And then it occurred to her, she pulled her face away from where it was buried in his neck to look up at him without releasing her hold on him,
"You're coming home right?"
"The only way I would not come home is if you told me we were over. I told you. That ball has always been on your court. You are my home. You and Noah."
"I'm not complaining, but what are you doing here?"
"I explained to Noah that you probably needed him home more than I did. So I got Lucy to pick him up after we read together and she brought him home. I snuck out of my hotel room and made my way here. I can't really stay all night but you looked like you needed both of your boys home at the same time."
"I did. I just wanted a hug from my husband if we're going to be completely honest."
"I'm here baby." He murmured into her hair as he held her tightly.
"Rafa," she said looking into his eyes and he nodded knowingly taking her by the hand leading her to their bedroom.
A few hours later Rafael woke up with Olivia's body draped over his. He ran his fingers down her spine as he kissed the top of her head. He knew he had to get up to return to his hotel room, but he was having a hard time letting her go. It was hard to watch Rita cross examine her, even though they all knew it could have been a lot worse. Seeing that video of Stabler charging towards the suspect without pause, Olivia throwing herself in front of him to stop him. It was any wonder she didn't have any bruises from where Elliot had grabbed her arms when she stood before him. It made his blood boil. He had asked Rita to do the cross for Ayanna as he felt that their common ground was a conflict of interest.
The following day he would be doing the cross examining of Angela and he knew it was not going to go well for any of them. It would only evoke more anger from Stabler. He was sure it would also make Olivia mad, not to mention Wheatley will be furious once it comes to light just how deeply Angela's feelings went for Elliot. He wasn't quite sure what the allure was to Stabler but he had incredibly intelligent women falling at his feet. He shook the thoughts of Stabler and the trial out of his mind. He was serious when he told Olivia that he wanted to keep the trial separate and out of their home. On that note he had slipped from under Olivia who stirred but didn't wake. He put his pillow in place of himself to get dressed. He opened the door carefully trying not to wake her and was about to step out when she spoke,
"You doing the walk of shame without saying Goodbye Barba?" Rafael turned and gave her a small smile.
"I didn't want to wake you."
"You know either way I'd be mad. Mad that you woke me but probably more mad that you didn't say goodbye."
"Baby, you'll see me tomorrow. You married me. There's no goodbye." Olivia stood to her feet and walked over to him.
"Good to hear."
"I'm going to check in on Noah and head off."
"I'll walk you to the door." Rafael bent to capture her lips in his.
"I do love you Olivia Margaret Benson,"
"That's Olivia Margaret Benson-Barba to you." Rafael smirked.
"Yeah the Barba is silent."
"What if I said once this trial is done, I don't want it to be silent anymore."
"It would make me happy, but you know it's not a requirement. You're a Barba at heart."
"I know, but I want the same surname as my boys."
"I guess I wouldn't be opposed to being Rafael Theodore Benson-Barba either." Olivia grinned,
"Really?"
"Well if all the cool kids are doing it." He replied as she kissed him.
"I do love you Rafael Theodore Benson-Barba."
"It has a nice ring to it."
Hand in hand they walked into Noah's room. Rafael grabbed Eddie the elephant from the floor where he had fallen from the bed. He tucked the elephant back into Noah's arms and brought his sheets to his shoulder and kissed his temple.
"Papi,"
"Go back to sleep my love. Papi's going back to the hotel but I will try and see you at the park in the afternoon tomorrow. I'll FaceTime during breakfast as always."
"Okay, I love you Papi."
"I love you too Noh." Rafael replied dropping a kiss to his forehead before he and Olivia headed for the door.
"Call me when you get back to your hotel?"
"Liv it's late. Go back to sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."
"That's why I'd like to fall asleep to my husband's voice. So por favor." Rafael nodded and drew her into his arms kissing her deeply before he walked out pulling the door shut behind him. He waited until she clicked the double lock and chained the door. Instead of taking the lift Rafael had slipped out of the fire exit in which he had come in to come out of the back of their building.
"I'm back in my room my love, go to sleep." Rafael said softly as Olivia answered her phone thick with sleep a half hour later.
"Go to sleep Rafi. No more working." His wife commanded.
"I will my love."
"I'll know if you don't." She threatened.
"I've put a towel over your surveillance camera so you wouldn't see when my girlfriend came to visit later so you'd never know if I worked or not."
"We both know your hands are full enough with me as your wife. You do not have a capacity for anything more, let along a girlfriend. That aside I have a gun and you know I'd shoot you."
"That I do. Goodnight Liv."
"Goodnight Baby."
As suspected Angela's testimony was politely, dogs dinner. Wheatley lost his shit and everything was chaos. His client was now pissed. Stabler's time on the stand was as they'd set up it up to be and now his client was wanting his turn on the stand. Rafael's head was ready to explode. Just as Wheatley was to take the stand Olivia had entered with Angela Wheatley. Touché Captain he thought as he held in a smirk. The next half an hour was definitely one for the books. He and Rita exchanged several looks throughout the whole thing. By the end of it the both knew they were going to be finishing off a bottle of the most expensive bottle of scotch they could find to wash off the day.
"Jury's still out. Judge sent them back three times." He said as he walked towards where she sat at Forlini's.
"Deadlocked. So you did your job." He knew she was mad for how the day had panned out. He expected it.
"I would have had an acquittal if your partner hadn't feigned losing it and goaded Wheatley into testifying." He purposely threw in the word partner in there.
"You wanted Stabler to lose it." She replied not taking the bait.
"And Stabler knew that. Drove into the skid. Even had you bring Angela in."
"So we both did our jobs."
"We did." They stared each other down for a moment.
"Stabler coming back has made things more complicated," he said stating the obvious.
"So now we're going to have small talk." She interrupted.
"You know what the problem of being an empath is? It's too easy to lose yourself when other people need you." There was truth in that, but she wasn't ready to hear it. She stood to leave when his phone beeped.
"Liv,"
"What?"
"Jury's back."
As the judge declared a mistrial Wheatley slapped Barba in back happily as he took a deep breath. He looked at Rita who looked just as disgusted as he felt.
"What does that mean?" Kathleen asked,
"It means we lost."
"They're going to try him again." Olivia tried to reassure him.
"Will they?" he said almost accusingly at her.
"I have to find my son."
Olivia turned to find Rafael looking at her. In that moment they weren't husband and wife. In that moment he was the defence attorney who defended a narcissistic psychopath and won. There was a slight shake of her head before she turned to leave the court house. He took a deep breath and turned back to Rita.
"You up for getting blind drunk because I'm pretty sure I'm not welcome at my home tonight?" Rita felt for him. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"Sure, I feel sorry enough for you."
"Good. I love me a pity party. Let me call my kid and let's hit one of our old haunts. I'm turning off my location tonight and allowing myself to get totally shit faced. I am sleeping on your couch tonight." He said bring his phone to his ear as he and Rita walked out by the side exit avoiding the press. This was not a high profile case either of them wanted to be tied to or noted for.
Olivia waited for Rafael to come out knowing she had been mad at him when he was only doing his job. She had to remind herself why he had taken on the case in the first place. When he didn't come out she walked back into the empty courtroom and realised he must have taken the side exit. She called his phone and it went to voicemail. She had tried to find him via his location and saw that it was turned off. It was Noah's bedtime so she had called to say goodnight hoping that Rafael was headed home. They hadn't talked about it but she assumed he would head home once the trial was finished, but after their exchange she was certain he didn't feel like he was welcomed and she ran her fingers through her hair.
"Hi Mama, are you coming home?" Noah asked.
"Soon my love."
"You just missed Papi. He called to say goodnight. He said we will see if he can pick me up from school tomorrow and maybe we can have dinner again at the hotel." Clearly Rafael hadn't told Noah that their case was closed because that would mean he would have to come home.
"That sounds nice. Papi's missed you."
"Yeah but I know he misses you just as much. He tells me so."
"I miss Papi too my love."
"I hope he can come home soon."
"Me too. I'll be home in a little while. You be good for Luc and I'll give you a kiss when I get in."
"I will. I love you Mama."
"I love you too."
Olivia checked all the bars she knew Rafael had frequented and came up empty. She had gone to the hotel to be told Mr Barba hadn't returned for the night. When she went it to check, she saw all of his paperwork still on the small dining table. His suitcase remained unpacked as his clothes still hung in the closet. As though he suspected the days turn of events would delay his journey back home. Sometimes she hated that he knew her so well.
Olivia threw on his sweatshirt as she lay on his bed willing him to come back. She brought his sweater to her nose and breathed deeply. She picked up her phone and called him again only to receive his voicemail. When Olivia woke up after midnight in his empty hotel room she was officially worried but she also needed to get home to Noah. She picked up her phone to see if he had returned any of her calls but he had not. She did however have a message from Rita telling her that Rafael was fine and not to worry. She looked at the time. It was too late to call Rita and certainly too late to show up at her door step to drag her husband's ass home. That and he deserved a night to blow off steam. She appreciated that Rita had given her a heads up or she would have scoured Manhattan looking for him.
When Olivia got home Lucy was asleep in the guest room. Olivia had called her that afternoon asking if she could stay the night in case the verdict took longer. She had barely showered when a call from Elliot had alerted her. Eli had called. He was in trouble. Against her better judgement she got dressed, left a note for Lucy and got in the car with Elliot and they headed to New Jersey.
Rafael woke up early and surprisingly fine despite the alcohol they consumed. He left a note for Rita and thanked her for putting up with his ass. Rafael considered going back to the hotel but he just wanted to be home with his family. When he got home however he found the note for Lucy explaining that there was an emergency with Elliot and that she needed to help him. Rafael wished he hadn't come home and taken his drunken self back to the hotel and stayed in his oblivious stupor. Here we go again he muttered exhaustedly to himself.
Rafael had taken a long hot shower and started making breakfast. It was a school day but he needed to soak up the alcohol so he made waffles, bacon and eggs before coaxing Noah out of his sleep a little earlier so he could have a sit down breakfast.
"Papi,"
"I made you waffles? Wanna come eat?" Noah grinned and flung his arms around his neck. With Noah still in his arms they knocked on the guest bedroom door to find Lucy already dressed for the day.
"I had wondered if the breakfast fairy came when I smelt waffles and bacon." She stated.
"Breakfast fairy did come and he's happy to take the little one to school if you need to head off after you eat."
"I have nowhere to be but I wouldn't deprive Noah of being taken to school by Papi." Lucy replied.
She noted that he had not brought his belongings home despite the fact that the trial was over so she suspected that things weren't quite right at the Benson-Barba home. When she saw the note addressed to her she understood.
"Did you need me to pick him up?" She asked.
"I'm not sure of Liv's movements today. Why don't you keep me posted and we can work around it?" He replied. Lucy nodded indicating that she was picking up what he was putting down.
Rafael turned his phone back on and the messages from his wife started coming in. It began with an apology, a bunch of where are you and then there was the last voicemail.
"Hey, it's me. So apparently when it comes to making your husband feel like shit, I excel. You're probably sick of my sorry's by now and question the sincerity behind them. God, I would. Rafa, I know the mistrial wasn't on you. You just did your job. I'm sorry that's not what I led with. I'm sorry. I want to talk Rafi. I want you to come home. Please. I got a call this morning. Eli called Elliot and it seems he's in trouble and we don't know what for and how big so he asked me to come. With the mistrial. I just thought I should be there. He's on his way to pick me up now. Rafa will you call me when you get this? I just need to hear your voice. Please."
After he took Noah to school Rafael headed back to his hotel. He had a bunch of paperwork he had to get through before he could resume his life as Professor Barba. How he longed for his simple life. However his life had been anything but simple in the last almost 10 months with an exception of a couple of months when Stabler had gone undercover. Instead of calling Rafael had sent Olivia an audio message.
"Hi, sorry I missed your calls. I hope it all works out for Eli. If you need a lawyer I'm happy to point you towards the right direction. I mean I'd offer myself but I am sure that would go down like a lead balloon. I came by this morning and saw your note to Luc. I made breakfast and took Noah to school. Chances are you're probably going to be neck deep in whatever is going on with Eli. If you are I thought I would take Noah back to the hotel after school today and make good on that sleepover. I thought I'd stay and get through all the paperwork. Figured it'll give time for dust to settle." Olivia listened to his carefully crafted audio message. She wondered how long it took for him to complete it. What she didn't miss was that he wasn't coming home. She sighed not entirely surprised nor could she blame him. Olivia took the empty interrogation room to call Rafael while Elliot finished up with Eli.
"Barba," he answered distractedly clearly not looking at his caller ID as he worked through the paperwork before him.
"Hi," he heard his wife's exhausted voice,
"Hey, you okay?" His instinct kicked in immediately making her eyes water with emotion.
"I just want to be home. With you."
"How's Eli?'
"It's bad Rafa. He's been ID'd in a line up for murder." Rafa inwardly gasped, he did not see that coming.
"Call Carisi, make sure Eli is not left alone. That he doesn't incriminate himself. You're going to need to handle your partner to make sure his anger doesn't get in the way." He was providing sound advise when he didn't need to. He was providing care when it was undeserved.
"I will." She replied as her voice cracked.
"Can you just talk to me?" She asked. Rafael did as his wife asked knowing it was what she needed to get her head back in the game. He told her about his morning with Noah. Breakfast and walking him to school. He felt her breathing even out as she closed her eyes to listen to him. A few minutes later he heard the door open and her eyes flew open to find Elliot standing there.
"I'll talk to you later." Rafa said before ending the call.
Elliot said that they were taking Eli for the psych evaluation and she nodded. Surely she didn't need to be around for that.
"I'm going to call Carisi so he can be around should Eli need representation. You're going to need to keep your cool and let them do their job." Elliot nodded knowing she was right.
When Carisi arrived he handed her a familiar insulated to go mug that lived in her office and a grey scarf that she knew belonged to her husband. One that he was wearing only the day before. She knew immediately that the mug would be filled with coffee from her favourite coffee cart and that he had sent his scarf to Carisi so she could have him with her. Immediately she had taken the scarf and wrapped it around her neck taking in a deep breath and letting his smell settle her.
"You took the train?" She observed as he arrived within an hour.
"Yeah, quickest way to these parts. I just ubered from the station." Carisi answered.
"Lou, why don't you head home for a few. You look like you haven't slept in days." Carisi never fell out the habit of calling her Lou despite having been promoted to captain and she didn't mind at all.
"I'll stick around." Olivia nodded appreciatively. It was still early in the morning. She had taken the day not knowing what it would bring.
She could see that when she told Elliot she was heading home for a little bit that he wanted her to stay but all she wanted was to go to her husband wherever he was. In the end that won over her guilt. Olivia arrived in Rafael's hotel room with his asleep on his stomach spread wide in the middle of the bed. The exhaustion she felt was mirrored on his face. The dark circles under his eyes and the lines on his forehead. Olivia stripped out of her clothes and slipped into the covers beside him. Immediately Rafael woke to her touch and wordlessly gathered her in his arms.
"Rafa,"
"Shhh, sleep Liv. I've got you." He murmured barely conscious as she nodded and fell into deep slumber.
Olivia woke after a solid couple of hours. Rafael had gotten up before her and plugged her phone into the charger beside her. She slipped on a shirt he had left for her on the bed and found him sitting at the small dining table finishing off his paper work. He was there in only his pyjama bottom, hair tousled and looking very unlike counsellor Barba but definitely very much like her husband Rafa who she'd missed terribly. Wordlessly she walked over to him and sat across his lap wrapping her arms around him pressing her forehead to his temple.
"Hi," she greeted.
"Hi Liv," he replied.
"Want to fight with me now?" She asked.
"I don't want to fight you at all." He answered with a sigh.
"I'm sorry Rafa."
"I know." Olivia caressed his face with her fingers.
"What can I do Rafa?"
"Nothing Liv. It is what it is. I get it." Rafael said with a shrug.
"I hate that you think that."
"It's all I've really had to work with these last ten months." He confessed as he met her gaze.
"How do you still love me?" She asked softly biting her lower lip.
"Because I do. It's clearly something I have very little control over. Because you deserve to have someone love you unconditionally. Even if it's not who you wanted it to be." Olivia gasped as she held his face with both hands.
"Not true." She said desperately.
"Until you came along I didn't know what I wanted. I never saw what I deserved. You showed me that. Before you Rafa I never would have known what to ask for because I never thought I deserved it. Before you I've never wanted anyone so badly it hurt. You are a part of me. Wholeheartedly and completely and the thought of not being with you makes it hard to breathe. It's you Rafi. It's always been you." She knew he heard the words but he needed her to love them too. That in the last ten months she had taken for him for granted and expected that his love would never waiver even if she pushed and pushed as she had. She got complacent.
"I'm going to do better Rafa." Rafael kissed her cheek and nodded. Truth was he was hurt and whilst he forgave her only time could heal and close the gap between them. She was willing to give him that time. She owed him that at the very least.
"Manda dropped off your go bag so you can shower and get changed. What time did you need to be back?"
"Eli's just gone into Psych evaluation so that should take some time. Maybe in an hour or so?"
"Why don't you grab a shower and I'll order food. You can eat and I'll take you to the station."
"Will you shower with me?" She asked longingly as he nodded. He placed an order for lunch and led her to the bathroom.
Rafael made sure the temperature was right before he helped her into the shower. He washed her hair and her body trailing kisses from her lips to her neck to her shoulders as he did so. Olivia clung tightly to him not wanting to let go. When the water ran cold he quickly rinsed them both before he stepped out of the shower and grabbing a towel to dry her off. Once she was sufficiently dry he wrapped her in his robe and sent her to the room to get ready. He slipped on a new pair of underwear and sweats before answering the door to room service.
After they were both fed and dressed he walked her to the station with a new mug full of coffee. Olivia held his hand as they stood side by side waiting for her train. When it was approaching he drew her into his arms for a quickly hug and kissed her.
"Call if you need anything. I love you." He said softly in her ear as she hugged him so hard he could barely breathe.
"I love you Rafa."
"I know Baby. I love you too." He assured her giving her one last squeeze.
"I want to know," Elliot said as he filled a couple of cups with water.
"Sorry," Olivia said confused looking up from her text conversation with Rafael. They had been messaging since he put her n the train. He was going to pick up Noah from school and take him to dinner and they'd hang until she returned.
"About your life. The things you've been through. The things I have missed." Stabler explained.
"So you and Barba? How did that come about?"
"Seriously?" Olivia asked in disbelief. That was his first question?
"Is that too awkward?'
"A little bit, no thanks." She said regarding the water he poured for her.
"Umm," she replied unsure how to reply and before she could
"I assume you dated whilst I was gone."
"Well it was 10 years Elliot."
"How many?" He asked,
"What?"
"How many?" Elliot repeated.
"Do you want to know dating history Detective?"she asked with an edge to her voice. His audacity,
"You're being evasive," Elliot replied amused. Olivia took a breath and crossed over to the other side of the room, away from him. His cockiness bothered her.
"There was one before Rafa, who I thought I might actually. But I wasn't ready and then, and then Ed died."
"Liv I'm so sorry to hear that." She realised by the empathy in his voice he didn't know she meant Tucker.
"Thank you, but in the end it was for the best because it was always meant to be Rafa. Everything we shared, everything we've been through. I can't imagine having that with anyone else."
Not long after Eli's doctor joined them in the room. She barely heard a word he said as she replayed her whole conversation with Elliot and the arrogance of his stance in questioning her about her life. Of all of the things he could have asked he asked about her dating life.
"The video and confession, it's pretty cut and dry. Thank God." Olivia stated as they headed out.
"Thank you, for being there. Again, when I needed you." Elliot said halting his steps.
"Elliot,"
"No. I want to find balance here. In this. Whatever this is." Whatever this is? Was he kidding?
"How about we call it a friendship. How's that for now." Elliot nodded. Before much else could be said Sonny joined them.
"Your ride is here Lou," Olivia looked confused at the moment and grinned to see Rafael and Noah standing by his BMW.
"Sonny can we drive you home?"
"No thanks. I'm going to catch the train. It's quicker and I want to have dinner with my girls." Olivia nodded and placed a hand on his arm.
"Thank you Sonny, for coming out today." She said gratefully as he nodded.
"I'll see you around Elliot."
Elliot watched as Noah ran over to his mother as she walked towards them who caught him in her arms.
"Mama, Papi picked me up from school and said we were going for a long drive to come and pick you up and take you to dinner."
"I see that. What are we having for dinner?" She asked Noah as she let him drag her back to Rafael who smiled at the two of them. She walked over to him and kissed him full on the mouth, deeply without hesitation.
"Hello to you too Mami," he said as they reluctantly parted for air.
"Hi Baby, this was a nice surprise."
"Thought you could use one and we needed some family time."
"Agreed."
"Papi said we can bake Christmas cookies this weekend."
"He did?" Olivia asked as she glanced from one to the other.
"Yeah, he said now that the case is over we can concentrate on Christmas."
"Does that mean?" She asked the question and he gave her a somewhat hesitant nod. Olivia launched herself at him unexpectedly receiving an oomph at impact.
"You're coming home?"
"If that's what you want?"
"Yes, more than anything." She answered without missing a beat.
Carisi smiled at the sight of his friends and their family of 3. He always knew that Rafael loved Olivia but having seen their friendship evolve to what it was now was now was such a gift and he never took for granted the gift that they were privy to and a part of that.
"She's happier than she's ever been. That little boy and that man is her whole world. He worships the ground she walks on and would do anything to make her happy and keep her safe. He loves and lives to make them happy. There's no doubt she feels tethered to you. That the pull you have is significant, but if you care about her at all. You will let her be happy. She's been through a lot since you've been gone. He's not only been around for most if not all of that, but he held her hand through it all. Championed her all the way. She healed because she's strong, determined and stubborn. She healed because he made her feel in her brokenness she was worthy of the love she so deserved and loved her through it. No matter hard she pushed and denied herself. He fought to break down her walls because he believe without shadow of doubt that she deserved the love and care she poured out to others. If you could promise her all that he'd step aside to give her that, but we both know you can't give her what she deserves so love her enough to let him give it to her."
Carisi didn't wait for a response. He didn't need one. He just needed to say his piece. He saw what the trial had threatened to take away from them. He saw the demons that Rafael fought from all angles. Whilst he had always had great respect for his once mentor it paled in comparison to what he felt as he watched him navigate the last week of Wheatley's trial. How he weighed out the cost and if it meant risking their marriage to keep her safe, he did it.