As Hikari walked, it occurred to her how little she wore anything other than her school uniform in public. She sighed then, figuring it was no wonder anyone couldn't see her as anything but the class rep.

Hopefully this could be the start of changing that, she thought.

Today she was wearing a striped white and blue shirt under a yellow sun dress. It was quite the contrast to her usual stiff blue school uniform. Though as she thought about it, didn't Asuka have a yellow Sun dress too?

I didn't choose this dress on purpose, she wondered, did i? She didn't think much on her outfit this morning when she grabbed it… except maybe thinking of something nice she'd want to wear to Misato's place.

Going up the elevator reminded her of the day she ran into Suzuhara and Aida, also here to check on Shinji. Though it was only months ago, it felt like much longer. Things were different between her and Suzuhara even then. It was only later…

She slowed to a stop as she stood before the doorway to Misato's place. Music, some sort of string instrument, was humming into the hallway. She looked around and listened.

She had been certain Misato was the only tenant on this floor of the apartment block, if not the building. So she could only assume the player was in Misato's unit. Was it Asuka? Crap, Hikari hadn't told Asuka she was coming. What kind of impresseion would it leave that Hikari came calling for Shinji?

No, she was getting ahead of herself. It would have been Shinji's responsibility to tell Asuka she was coming. Yes, that's what she would assume. If she then complemented Asuka on her playing that might also derail any accusations that Hikari was snubbing her friend.

She stopped herself and wondered why she was going through all of this with her best friend? Why was she sneaking behind Asuka's back? And… why didn't she…

Hikari casually glanced at her watch and read it was ten after. She was late. Hurriedly she turned and rang the doorbell. The music stopped.

She squared her shoulders and prepared to face whatever was on the other side. She was here to help Shinji. She assumed Shinji told his roommates she was coming. It would all be okay.

The door opened and Shinji was on the other side. "Oh! Class rep! You're here!"

Hikari smiled. "Hello Ikari, I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's fine, come in." Shinji replied. As Hikari pushed her shoes off, Shinji asked her, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Um, yes! Black tea if you have any."

"Yes! I'll get some for you." Shinji said and together they went down the hall.

He filled the kettle as Hikari set her cooking pot and items on the kitchen table. She looked around and she saw the cello. She stared at it for a moment, then asked, "Are… Asuka or Miss Misato here?"

The kettle was on. Shinji said, "No. Miss Misato Is out for the day… Asuka is with Mister Kaji."

Hikari glanced over at Shinji. He hadn't turned around. "Oh…" she said.

Now Shinji glanced at her, "Is that all right?"

"Um.." Hikari perked. Her class rep sense was telling her to leave. Alone in the house with a boy? With Shinji? What would people think? What would Asuka think?

But she wanted to be here. Maybe there could be compromise… he did ask for help after all. "Well… for lunch at least. I don't want to take up too much of your time."

Shinji smiled. "Okay."

Just then the freezer unit opened and out came a penguin. Seeing Hikari, Penpen squawked and bounced over to her. Hikari came down to his level to pet his head. "Hello Penpen!"

"Wark!" The bird responded.

Shinji poured tea for both of them and set a timer on the stove while they steeped. Glancing at Hikari, he said, "I think you're the only person he comes to like that."

"Really?" Hikari replied with a smile. Her voice sounded melodious to Shinji then. After petting Penpen once more she stood and moved to the sink to wash her hands. "So… um," she said, "I'm starting to get hungry, should we get started?"

For lunch Shinji was going to make himself ramen. Hikari volunteered to show him her method. "It's a little fancier and a little extra work, but we need to start somewhere, right?"

Directing Shinji, she instructed him to use a high walled skillet instead of a pot. It was so unusual for Shinji that he quickly went into a mode of obeying Hikari's instructions without question, deciding to let her take responsibility for any mistakes that resulted.

But that wasn't to say it was passive instruction.

"Why are you mixing in the cooking water?" She asked him.

"Uhm…." Shinji thought, "It… makes a sauce?"

"Yes." Hikari said, "Adding the cooking water back in will mix with the bacon fat and become a marinade sauce. It flavors the rest of the ramen as you stir the noodles."

Shinji stared into the pan. To this revelation he said, "Huh!"

They moved on, Hikari quizzing and reinforcing his knowledge when she could, though never testing him with hard questions or rebukes. Even when they sat down to eat, Shinji still found himself engaged thinking about how the meal was prepared. It occurred to him then how much of a good teacher the class rep could be when given the chance.

Hikari toasted him with a pinch of the ramen in the chopsticks she was using. "First bite!"

"Mmn!" Shinji replied and with her (and Penpen), but into the first taste.

Hikari smiled. "This is good!"

"Really?" Shinji replied.

Hikari nodded. "Yes! Don't you think so?"

Shinji took another bite and thought about it. "Y-you're right!"

Hikari smiled at him. "You did it!"

Shinji blushed a little, "Well… with your help…."

"Nonsense." Hikari replied and leaned forward. "Nobody becomes a good cook without learning from somewhere. Whether it's experimenting on your own…and accepting your mistakes…" eyes on him again with a modest expression, she went on, "or learning from someone else, you learn by doing. That's why it was important that you made this meal."

Shinji stared down at his bowl as he thought about, of all things, Eva. It was true then too. "So if I practice this more, I'll get better at it."

"Mmnhmm!" Hikari nodded enthusiastically. Taking a guess, she said, "That's probably why you real good with the Cello."

"Uhn?" Shinji uttered and stared at the instrument still lying in the stand at the other end of the table. "Oh! Uh… how did you know?"

"I heard you when I was coming in." Hikari replied, "You play really well, Ikari."

Shinji shook his head. "I just play to have something to do. I'm not really good, it's just that nobody told me to stop."

"Oh?" Hikari replied and glanced at the instrument. "Well, you could have fooled me. I heard the instruments like that need dedication to master it. How long have you been playing?"

Shinji looked at it, shrugged, and said, "Eight? Years?"

Hikari, surprised, said, "That's a long time! And you stuck with it? That's impressive!"

Shinji's instinct of modesty kicked in. He shook his head. "It was just something to do, like I told you."

"Ikari, give yourself more credit." Hikari said. When she got his eyes she smiled and said, "You can tell yourself that it doesn't matter, but if it didn't, you wouldn't be pulling it out to play. Why did you, over watching TV?"

Shinji stared back at the instrument in contemplation. "I… I don't know."

Hikari studied Shinji for a moment and saw him struggle with how to answer her question. "Well, maybe it might come to you the next time you play." When he looked at her she smiled and said, "After all, there's a chance you might remember this conversation when you do."

He smiled. "Yeah…."

They ate in silence for a moment. Shinji was grappling with the question Hikari just gave him. Hikari was wrestling with impulsively asking him to play for her anyway. To distract herself, after she finished her bowl she asked, "Do you want seconds?"

"Oh! Yes, please!" Shinji replied, taking two more big bites before passing it to Hikari. She took it with a smile and walked to the counter to dish out more for both of them.

Seeing her at this angle he was struck at how… domestic the vision looked. In her longer casual dress, standing in front of the stove, this vision was unlike anything he experienced: a homely girl in his kitchen doing something for him.

Before he could get too excited about this notion, his brain asked, what are you doing for her, you charity case?

That thought simmered Shinji's excitement down by the time Hikari returned with his bowl. "T-thank you." Shinji replied out of habit.

"You're welcome." Hikari replied with a grin.

Shinji was collecting his thoughts when Hikari asked, "So um… was there… Anything else you wanted me to teach you? Maybe how to make a dinner recipe, perhaps?"

"Oh! Um…" Shinji struggled because that's the exact reason he asked for Hikari's help. Though, somehow that didn't feel as urgent as it did before.

When he looked at her she said, "I can stay a bit longer if you like. I enjoyed it."

Shinji blinked. "R-really?"

Hikari smiled. "Yeah, actually… I know it's a bit of a stereotype since I'm the class rep, but I hardly get to teach anyone one on one. I've had a lot of fun teaching you how to cook and how to write your essay." Her eyes drifted down across the table as she uttered, "I like knowing i'm useful…"

"Me too." Shinji found himself muttering.

There was a pregnant pause as the two of them ate lunch. Hikari finished first, then stood up to clean up her bowl. As she did she was lost in thought, wondering how this encounter was going to go. It felt wonderful to teach Shinji, but just being in his presence wasn't doing anything for her. Not yet, anyway.

Shinji spoke from behind her, "Um, you don't have to do that. That's my job."

Hikari perked a little, then looked down to realize she cleaned the cooking utensils and was part way through scrubbing out the skillet. Startled, she said, "Ah! Sorry it's… it's force of habit!"

"It's all right." Shinji replied, "You can sit down, I'll take care of this."

"R-right…" Hikari replied and trotted towards the refrigerator and sat against the edge of the table. She was stunned at his invitation but could not place why. Then she realized… nobody ever took a task from her and insisted she sit. She was always the hostess and servant. For once, she didn't have to be.

Her eyes scanned the refrigerator idly and came to rest on a paper where Shinji's name was scribbled on repeatedly. She realized it was a chore chart, and took note of all the things Shinji was directed to do. Asuka wasn't on that chart at all.

She stared at it until Shinji was done and came over. He also looked at what she was staring at and said, "Oh… um… im not good at rock paper scissors…"

Realizing he caught her snooping, Hikari stood. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be snooping…"

Shinji shrugged and smiled. "It's alright, it's not exactly a secret or anything."

"You do everything?"

"Um…. Yeah. But... I don't mind."

Hikari didn't say anything for a moment. It was enough to make Shinji hesitate. "Uh…"

"Ikari… how do you… keep from being overwhelmed?" She asked.

Shinji didn't know what she meant at first, until he glanced back at the chore chart. "Well…. Um.." He uttered. He hadn't thought about that aspect before. "I guess I just… don't really think about it. I just do it… it takes up some time but… I have to do something to earn my keep."

"But…. Everything?"

"...yes." Shinji replied.

After another pause, she asked, "Do Asuka or Miss Misato ever say thank you?"

Shinji started to feel uncomfortable, though not with her. "No… and… they don't have to."

Hikari breathed before she punched her friendship with Asuka. "Since you're the only one keeping the house from falling apart, it would be nice to hear a thank you now and again, wouldn't it?"

Shinji hesitated as if struck. Then, with a tone more sincere than Hikari had ever heard from him, Shinji uttered a disappointed, "Yes, it would."

She glanced at one of the chairs, then moved it to sit in it. Shinji joined her in another seat. After a moment, Hikari made a sad smile and asked him, "Have I told you about my family, Ikari?"

"Um… some details… but not a lot."

"Mhm. My family is as thankless as yours." Hikari replied. Her directness surprised both of them, but after realizing how put upon Shinji was for his everyday life, something snapped in the class rep.

Hikari went on, "My father is an overworked, underpaid salaryman. My older sister attends college and works at a crappy resteraunt to make ends meet. My little sister can't be bothered to do anything unless I harass her. Who do you think is left to take care of things around the house?"

Shinji was catching on. "It's you."

"It's me, the full-time class rep." Hikari echoed. She took in a breath then sighed, "I'm only as good of a cook as I am because I was the only one tired of the endless take out. It wastes money, and it's unhealthy. The rest of my family doesn't care."

Shinji nodded as he compared what he was hearing to his own experiences. He nodded at the chore chart saying, "Its… it's the same. Miss Misato… can't cook."

Hikari made a tired smile as she cynically wondered if Toji accounted for that with his crush on the woman. What was going on? Hikari was disgusted by being this bitter, but the broken dam continued to flow, which felt good. "When you were absent that first week of school… Did you run away?"

"Yes. You didn't know?"

"It was a rumor. Now that I know you deal with all of this, while piloting Eva and everything else, I'm not surprised." She turned her head away a little and punched something else with her intentions. "There's a rumor Toji hit you and blamed you for his sister getting hurt."

When Shinji said nothing, Hikari sighed, "You don't have to answer. I see you two made up and I don't want to get him in trouble either. I just imagine, with all that, why would you stay here?"

Shinji hesitated, then pushed himself out of his comfort zone. "Did you ever think about… running away?"

Hikari shrugged. "Where would I go? Besides, too many people and things depend on me. If I ran away, what would that look like on my school record? How would any adult take me seriously? I'd tarnish the class rep reputation my sister built up when she was in school. Things would be worse when I got back and… I'm… I'm trapped."

Hikari hadn't revealed those sentiments to anyone- not even her sister. In that moment she realized what she had done, and suspense was dawning on her from oversharing innermost thoughts to a relative stranger. Or… was he?

"I…" Shinji uttered, his voice cracking, "I'm… trapped… piloting Eva."

Their eyes met. Something in him allowed Shinji to trust her- the first person he trusted in years. "This… I'm worthless… without Eva. The only reason anyone needs me is because I pilot. If… if I give it up, what use am I to anyone?"

Shinji shook his head, then turned it to look at the refrigerator. "I was comfortable before… but… that's not living, it's just existing. I… sometimes… I wondered what the point of it all was. My father didn't want me, and my mother is gone. My teacher… he put up with me, but he's not…"

"Not family."

"No. I… I have no one. Had no one, before my father brought me…"

"He brought you here to pilot the Eva, didn't he."

Shinji nodded. "Otherwise… I…."

Hikari stared. "But you want to know if that's true, which is why you're writing your paper."

"Yes."

Hikari smiled. "I still think it's an admirable thing to do, you know."

"I'm… I'm just a sad, desperate loser."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be trying anyway, because what would be the point?" Hikari looked down at her hands. "I guess us stupid, overworked kids need to have some kind of hope, right?"

In spite of himself, Shinji smiled a little. "Yeah."

They looked at one another. Hikari glanced away first, but then looked at him again and said, "Thank you for listening, Ikari. I don't really have anyone to talk to about things like this… not anymore."

Shinji asked, "What about Asuka?"

Hikari shook her head. "No… no. She doesn't understand… drudgery. I'm sure she's an excellent Eva pilot… but…" she punched the friendship again while she said, "I wouldn't be surprised if she couldn't be bothered to cook or clean up after herself."

"No." Shinji said, "She really can't."

Smiling at one another again, Hikari said, "I'm glad I got to talk to you, Ikari. If… if you don't mind, I would like to keep talking like this. That is, if it isn't a problem."

"No. Not at all… class rep."

"Please, call me Hikari."

"Then… you can call me Shinji."

a/n: expanding here on the themes laid out in Common Burdens, the two share a connection through the thankless drudgery at home. While were free to interpret Hikari's home life however we wish, its not a far streach to see her overworked when you consider all the things she does.

in case you werent aware, addressing a peer by thier first name is a big deal in Japan. It signals a level of familiarity in their relationship. Asuka doesnt care because she is who she is, but for Hikari and Shinji to do so signals a turning point in their relationship, especially for the nominally formal Hikari.

The snow has gathered. This is the first pebble, which will summon the avalanche.