It was now very late in the afternoon, if the darkening sky was any indication. Jersey looked everywhere for a clock to tell the time, but his efforts proved fruitless. He could have flown up into the air to look for the clock tower he had seen earlier in the morning, but he had already strained his pursuit to remain a low key sinner with a multitude of confrontations, the body of a dead angel, and a badly beaten gang of bikers that were probably still unconscious at this time. His hope for finding the hotel mentioned by Cherri Bomb was beginning to fade.
Eventually, he found himself drawn to a restaurant, Brimstone Barbecue. Jersey only had six dollars in his possession, so it was unlikely that he could buy a hearty meal, but anything to fill his stomach would be an ironic God-send. He hadn't eaten anything in over eighteen hours.
It was a packed house, which was unsurprising given that it was likely approaching dinner hour. Fortunately, Jersey was given a seat at one of the smallest tables they had available. He could see at one demonically clock hanging above the front door that it was 4:22.
Jersey's attention was turned towards the restaurant menu. Burgundy in color and with bright yellow text, it detailed a wide variety of meals and appetizers, ranging from ribs to burgers, salads, chicken fingers, and other options that a typical American restaurant might have. It gladdened him to see that food in this Hell was at least recognizably edible.
However, Jersey did not take the time to read the options in great detail. As he slumped forward in his seat and began to think things out, the more frustrated he was with his current situation.
'Perhaps I should give up on the meal and try to search for the hotel some more.' Jersey thought to himself. His lack of an income was going to be a problem if he had to pay anyone for long term housing. He certainly had the skills necessary to earn money, but it would require time to make a reputation for himself as a carpenter, electrician, or plumber of worth.
In the meantime, Jersey was going to struggle with rent, and he had no delusions that the average landlord or renter would feel any sort of pity for his circumstances. It was all turning out to be a mess in the making. At the same time, his hunger was getting very bothersome, so satisfying his grumbling stomach took temporary priority. A filled stomach meant he had one less distraction when strategizing his survival.
"What'll ya have, hon?" His waitress was a female, anthropomorphic wolf with dark gray hair and piercing blue eyes. Her attire consisted of jeans and a company shirt. A single, silver piercing was in one of her erect, pointed ears.
"What do you have that I can buy for six dollars and still have room for a tip?"
"Hmm..." She thought long and hard, taping a pen against the side of her muzzle. "You'll just have to settle for an appetizer. I'd recommend the chips and dip. It's a combination of spinach and pimento cheese. It's a favorite of mine when I don't want a big meal."
"I'll have that then." He handed the menu to her.
"What about a drink?"
"Is water a viable option?"
The waitress gave Jersey a funny look. "Yeah... we don't just serve alcohol."
"I'll just have a glass of water, please."
The waitress slowly wrote down the order, her gaze not leaving Jersey's face as he began to feel uncomfortable. "Are ya new here?"
"Was it that obvious?"
"Most sinners aren't that nice, nor do they ask questions about water for a drink." She saw his abashed look. The wolfish woman gave a fond little smile. "It's no trouble. It's kinda nice to have a newby for a guest. I'll take care of ya." She then walked off to give the order to the kitchen staff.
Jersey found it a bit excessive that having good manners would be such an oddity. True, having manners did not garner money or power, but it certainly cost no one anything. Aside from the two people who served him drinks, and to a lesser extent Cherri Bomb, everyone who interacted with Jersey treated his politeness and restraint as either a ploy or a sign of weakness.
The state of New Jersey, where he was born, was stereotypically seen as a mean place to live in, but Benjamin, cynical though he could be at times, was not asocial or callous towards normal humans. Then again, the beings he was interacting with were only the sinful souls of former humans, so perhaps he should have realized that being a jackass was as natural as breathing. After all, no amount of good manners would get these poor bastards into heaven.
"Here's a cold glass of water, hon." The waiter returned, a clear glass of ice water in her paw.
"Thanks." Jersey replied simply. He gave the water a tentative sip whilst his waitress walked on to serve other tables.
With hope, he could enjoy something or have some time to himself without being interrupted by some criminal with a gun or a pack of thugs to harass him.
"Hey, could someone put on 666 News? The evening newscast is about to start." The volume of the innocuous request first sent Jersey on edge, but he relaxed when it was just a request for the television's channel to be changed. Besides the walls above the bar section, televisions were also located on three different corners of the restaurant. Jersey had a clear view of one of those TVs as the program began with a news logo and a brief, non-vocal jingle.
"Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy." The female newscaster, wearing a red dress, white earrings, and a pearl necklace looked so thin at her waist as to be anorexic. Her deathly pale skin, large, piercing red eyes, and sharp teeth made her particularly unsettling to look at despite her bright blonde hair, womanly figure, and pretty face.
"And I'm Tom Trench!" Her male cohost proclaimed. The second newscaster sported a gray suit and red tie. His face could not be seen, for it was covered by a World War I era gas mask. Oddly enough, it allowed his platinum blonde locks to be exposed.
"Very little is known about what caused an Executioner to be left as another corpse lying in the South Side of Pentagram City." Tom started off the hour. "However, a witness to the aftermath of what some assume was a fierce battle has come forth to offer more details."
Katie Killjoy continued where Tom left off. "We head live to Samuel Salamanca, currently at the West Side."
The camera cut to a humanoid demon with the features of a dark red salamander. Dressed in a blue suit and black tie, the reporter was looking at the camera with a hungry gaze in his green eyes. A rudder like tail could be seen lazily sloped on the ground behind him. A microphone was grabbed in his clawed hand.
"Thanks Katie." He thanked in a smooth, Spanish voice. "It was here, when in the early hours after the Extermination was concluded, that a scavenger looking for possible loot discovered the body at this alleyway."
Samuel stepped to the side and brandished an arm to show the exact alleyway where Jersey landed in Hell. Jersey recognized the shattered concrete where he landed. Two holes in the wall of a dilapidated building where he smashed two angels head first into them also marked out the alleyway as the one he had arrived at. A dreadful feeling overcame Jersey as he realized that he had done a poor job of laying low straight from the outset.
"For the sinner who discovered this scene of carnage, it was unlike anything he had seen before." Samuel continued with a grin.
The camera cut to some still footage of the surrounding area. Some of the clips showed random sinners who passed by the alleyway with little thought.
"In all of the years that he's experienced Exterminations, Gerald the Imp had never seen an angel lying dead on the ground." Samuel narrated.
An imp with short, white horns and a snaggletooth was the eyewitness being interviewed. Dressed in a dirty, brown t-shirt, black gym shorts, and sandals, he was looking anxious as he recalled the story.
"Life's hard for us imps, so I thought I'd take a gander to see if any of the poor bastards lying around after the cleanse had money on them." He began with a nasally voice.
"It was when Gerald came across this damaged alleyway, that he found an intriguing and jaw dropping scene."
It briefly cut to a close up of the alleyway where Jersey had his battle with the killer angels.
"All of a sudden, I saw a dark gray body with its head lying a few feet away. Then I noticed the wings and halo, and I thought, 'Holy shit, it's a goddamn angel we've got here!'"
"Though Gerald did not see what killed the angel, he theorizes that whatever did so had to have been incredibly strong. He insists that the head of the Exterminator was not cut off by a bladed weapon."
"There wasn't a smooth cut like you'd see with a knife. Even an axe would have had a smoother wound than what I saw. The neck of that angel had stretch marks, as if it had been ripped off by something with brute strength. Whoever or whatever it was that killed that angel, it would have to have been incredibly strong and vicious."
"The Exterminator's body has been removed from where it fell. However, it's presence in this alleyway has sent ripples throughout Hell. In a world with powerhouses like the Overlords and the Goetian Princes, there is no telling who or what could have dealt this killer angel a lethal blow."
The camera returned to Salamanca as the brief interview and narration concluded. "We regrettably could not get footage of the body, as it and the weapon it wielded was confiscated shortly after its discovery by researchers at the Pentagram City Institute of Science for further examination. We reached out to King Lucifer to ask whether he had any idea of who committed the killing. We have had no comment so far. I'm Samuel Salamanca reporting from the South Side of the Pentagram, back to you guys at the studio."
Jersey felt a growing sense of paranoia. Given the apparent novelty of an Angel being killed by a sinner, he feared attracting the attention of those who would want to destroy him for the threat he might pose. Worst yet, someone in this Hell might want to recruit him as little more than a guard dog for their own purposes. The name King Lucifer made him especially anxious.
'I'm not gonna be someone else's damn slave.' He thought darkly. 'Never again...'
The tv screen returned to Katie and Tom.
"We have also reached out to the PCIS to ask for permission to gather footage of the body for public interest." Katie Killjoy continued. "Like the egg headed cockshits that they are, they outright denied our request. We'll inform you if that decision changes over the coming days."
"It won't." Tom coughed into his sleeve.
"Excuse me, Tom? Did you just try to fucking sass me?"
Tom made an audible gulp as his stick thin cohost gave a vindictive leer his way. He almost stammered before smoothly transitioning into a developing story.
"Ah! A bit of breaking news!" Tom exclaimed.
Katie made a soft growl as she returned to a somewhat professional facade for the camera.
Jersey felt some relief that the news channel was not lingering on the story of the dead angel.
"Chaos is once again erupting out of Pentagram City today, as a turf war is raging on the West Side between notable kingpin Sir Pentious and spunky powerhouse Cherri Bomb."
The screen at the top right corner revealed two sinners, one of whom Jersey was quite familiar with. The first sinner was a black scaled serpent man with sharp red eyes wearing a black Victorian suit and top hat. The headgear in question sported a large eye and sharp teeth. Humorously enough, the primly dressed sinner was posing with a skateboard and a victory finger pose. It was akin to a demonic rendition of the 'how do you do, fellow kids?' meme.
Cherri Bomb, represented by what Jersey assumed was a graffiti rendition of her, was flipping the bird at the camera, her sharp teeth exposed.
"That's right Tom! After the recent Extermination, many areas are now up for grabs. Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory."
Live feed of the battle was played over a few seconds. Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb were busy tossing what looked like eggs dressed in suits at each other. Cherri was also eagerly throwing bombs towards her ectothermic adversary. Explosions and gunfire made the majority of the sounds on screen. Jersey could not help but chuckle as one egg demon was utilized as a makeshift grenade to be chucked at Sir Pentious.
"Those two really seem to be going at it, huh?" Tom asked candidly.
"Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that hotspot!" Almost like a planned prop exposition, Katie Killjoy literally took out an oversized molar and an iron nail from her coffee cup. She then tossed them into her mouth, consuming both objects as the camera cut to Tom Trench.
Needless to say, Jersey was hoping in vain that both objects were just props made of hard candy. However, giving the loudness of the crunching on camera, he was not very optimistic. He felt a small wave of nausea thinking about it.
"And I'd sure like to nail her hotspot, ho ho." Tom remarked with a suggestive crinkle of his mask covered eyes.
Now Jersey had an urge to reach into the TV screen and smack Tom across the face. Maybe it was because Cherri Bomb of all sinners was the most helpful to him in navigating this strange and harsh world. Thus, Jersey felt compelled to defend her. He couldn't call her a friend, for it was too early to say. Cherri was, however, a helpful acquaintance, even if she was a person who tried to blow him up as a welcoming gift.
Katie gulped down her 'snack.' "Ha ha! You are a limp dick jackass, Tom." Katie replied with a bright smile on her face.
Jersey almost choked on his water in laughter at the casual insult to her cohost right on air.
"Or should I say," Katie remarked slyly as she took her coffee cup and poured the hot contents over Tom Trench's lap, "no dick?"
Jersey cringed as Tom leaned over the news desk in obvious pain.
"Not again..." The masked anchor groaned. He was left whimpering in agony.
"Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho, who's here to discuss her brand new passion project!"
On a graphic to the left of Katie's head, was a picture of a smiling young woman with a caption that read 'Princess of Hell.' Jersey recognized her instantly, his jaw slightly dropping with realization.
'The singing woman on that balcony...' He thought with growing interest.
Jersey now knew for certain that this Hell had an aristocratic element too. There was an indication that was the case given the two times he heard of 'King Lucifer.' The upcoming news segment confirmed his theory about the society he was operating in.
Interestingly, he had the privilege of hearing a Princess of all people sing her heart out in the early morning hours.
Though Jersey had a deep rooted contempt for those in the upper classes, this woman was someone to keep an eye on. A fresh slate was being gifted to him as a new resident of an unusual hell. Perhaps this Princess could go so far as to give him employment if no one wanted his independent services. He would have to resurrect the 'decorum lessons' that he hoped would stay buried after he killed the demon lord who owned him like a veritable slave, but beggars could not be choosers.
"All that and more, after the break!" Katie finished off the newscast with a harsh undertone, breaking her empty coffee cup in the palm of her manicured left hand.
Not even waiting for the news to cut to commercial, she turned to her fellow anchor with a glare. "Suck it up, you little bit-" The news cut to break.
The crudeness of the show aside, listening to a Princess talk about a 'passion project' sounded interesting if nothing else. Jersey took another sip of his water with a gleam of curiosity in his eyes.
"Here ya are, new guy. One of my personal favorite appetizers." The wolf waitress presented fresh cornmeal chips and a small bowl of steaming hot dip with dark green spinach and spicy cheese.
"Thank you very much."
"My pleasure, hon." She made a smile of appreciation as she moved on to attend the other guests in her section.
Jersey gave a deep sniff of the dip, appreciating the good quality of the humble meal. He gave a tentative taste of the cheesy concoction with a scoop of a chip. When he took the chip in one bite, he was smitten with the taste. Giving a deep hum of approval and pleasure, Jersey felt better about using his money to get some sustenance.
"I'll be looking forward to that passion project..." He whispered.
Something indicated to Jersey that the 'passion project' in question was surprisingly pertinent to his quest. The cheerful demeanor of the woman he saw on the news graphic drew his attention. It was an alien, but welcome sight in a land consumed by vice and cynicism.
It was not even three minutes when 666 News came back on air. The appearance of Katie Killjoy's neck literally breaking on air made Jersey's stomach almost heave with discomfort, but he controlled himself. His eyes were focused on the Princess who had no crown to speak of. She only wore that same peach colored suit and black bow tie from earlier that day.
"Welcome back! So Charlotte..."
"It's Charlie..." The Princess corrected with a nervous smile.
"Whatever." It was clear that Katie had no kind thoughts about the blonde haired royal sitting to her right. One of her hands looked ready to break the mechanism of her pen which extended the tip for writing.
"Tell us about this new passion project that you've been incessantly pestering our news station about!"
"Well..." Charlie made no attempt to hide that she was apprehensive about detailing her idea. She recovered her resolve with a clearing of her throat and a small breath of air.
"As most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everything around me."
'This girl would fit right in as a daughter of the House of Gremory. If only her hair was as crimson as the color of blood.' Jersey thought offhandedly.
"Hell is my home and-" A splash of what looked like blood caught the left side of her face, but she wiped it off with a hand seamlessly and continued on. "-you are my people."
Her face began to look uncertain again, but this nervousness was colored with a sense of sadness. "We... we just went through another Extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance!"
She banged a hand onto the news desk in righteous fury, a move which woke an increasingly bored Katie Killjoy out of her drowsy stupor.
"I can't stand by while the place I live is subjected to such violence!" Now sounding particularly passionate, she left the news desk and walked towards the camera to proclaim her concern, forcing the camera to zoom back.
"So, I was thinking. Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell?" She continued to walk, standing before the crew members in the studio, who looked at her speech with either confusion, apathy, or callous bemusement.
"Perhaps we could create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption? Well I think yes!" A demon with a Minotaur body and a barren skull for a head with four eyes made a huff of surprise when Princess Charlie wrapped an arm around his beefy shoulders.
"So that's what this project aims to achieve. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind, a hotel that rehabilitates sinners!" Charlie announced as she returned to the news desk with a bright smile on her face.
Jersey's eyes widened at the word hotel. Was Charlie the one who founded the 'Happy Hotel?' He was now hooked on the message, even when an awkward silence filled the news station and the restaurant listening in.
Charlie's demeanor became more sheepish. "Uh, because, you know... hotels are for... people passing through... temporarily." Katie Killjoy had a predatory look on her face upon seeing the Princess of Hell's renewed lack of confidence.
Jersey could hear talk of mockery and dismissal from others who were watching the news. This was hardly surprising. Most of the inhabitants had a carefree attitude towards sin, so to suggest to them they could redeem themselves seemed laughable. Such mockery was not Jersey's concern. All he desired was either directions, an address, or a way to contact the hotel since he desired to be a guest.
As far as the redemption angle... that was a bridge that could be crossed in due time.
"I figured it would serve a purpose... a place to work towards redemption... yay..." Jersey was beginning to pity the girl's fumbling explanation.
"Look..." She spoke with a mellow and serious tone. "Every single one of you has something good deep down inside. I know you do."
Jersey snorted a bit of laughter. Generosity aside, no amount of pretty rhetoric would convince Jersey that every single person in Hell possessed the potential for goodness.
Then, Princess Charlie gave a look that screamed, 'let's see them refute this brilliant idea.'
"Maybe I'm not getting through to you..."
With a snap of her finger, two anthropomorphic goat demons with wings and forked tails set up a piano seemingly in a flash. The Princess of Hell made a dramatic pose.
Jersey blindly reached for a spinach queso covered chip as he watched the most entertaining performance he had seen in years.
"I have a dream I'm here to tell
About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel
Yes it's one of a kind, right here in hell
Catering to a specific clientele."
The goat demons provided back up with harmonic voices and an expert level piano performance. The song increasingly intensified, much to Jersey's contained amazement.
"Inside of every demon is a rainbow
Inside every sinner is a shiny smile
Inside of every creepy hatchet wielding maniac
Is a jolly, happy cupcake loving child
We can turn around!
They'll be heaven bound!
With just a little time down at the Happy Hotel!"
Jersey couldn't hold back a smile. This was the highlight of his day so far.
"So all you junkies, freaks, and weirdos
Creepers, fuckups, crooks, and zeros
And you fallen superheroes, help is here!
Of all you cretins, sluts, and losers
Sexual deviants and boozers
And prescription drug abusers need not fear!
Forever again, we'll cure your sin!
We'll make you well!
You'll feel so swell!
Right here in hell at the Happy Hotel!"
Jersey caught a glimpse of what he assumed was her true form, a vicious, red eyed, horned demon woman. At the very moment her monstrous appearance manifested, he felt a surge of demonic power miles away from the restaurant. It was a bit jarring, seeing this brief transformation of the friendly, sweet-hearted, and caring woman who was singing this grand performance on live tv. However, Charlie continued on, as if nothing happened.
"There'll be no more fire and no more screams
Just puppy dog kisses and cotton candy dreams
And puffy wuffy clouds, you're gonna be like 'Wow!'
Once you check in with meeeeeeeee!
So all your cartoon porn addictions,
Vegan rants, psychic predictions,
Ancient Roman Crucifixions end right here!
All you monsters, thieves, and crazies
Cannibals and crying babies
Frothing mouth is filled with rabies
Filled with cheer!
You'll be complete!
It'll be so neat!
Our service can't be beat!
You'll be on easy street, yes!
Life will be sweet at the Happy Hotel!
Yeah!"
Charlie finished, holding a bold pose and catching her breath. Silence engulfed the tv studio and the Brimstone Barbecue once again. For the average sinner, the spectacle that Princess Charlie performed was nothing short of confounding. Then, some of the guests of the restaurant heard a slow, purposeful clapping noise.
With a wide smirk on his face, Jersey gave a slow, steady clap at the performance, uncaring of the stares sent his way. That was, pun intended, one hell of a performance. One could say that Jersey had a certain appreciation for people with courage, even if they looked foolish to others.
'The steel ovaries of this girl to break out into a Disney song in front of Hell...' Jersey thought, legitimately impressed. 'You might just have your first patient.'
Of course, Jersey's feelings of the concept of redeeming sinners was one of apathy. The hotel, however intended, was worthy of only being a place for his habitation. The necessity of new living quarters had to be addressed before he had to struggle on the streets in a largely unknown world. Regardless of the Princess of Hell's ambitions, this hotel would suit Jersey's own needs nicely. If he could convince her to take him on as a staff member to do plumbing and electrical work, that would be all the better.
"Wow!" A voice from someone off camera exclaimed. "That was shit."
Then the laughter began, both in the restaurant and in the tv station. Charlie's pose shrank and her face became despondent as the studio found her song hilarious. Katie Killjoy was the loudest among the crowd.
To a certain extent, Jersey sympathized with the Princess, but was still unsurprised. If Charlie wanted to be taken seriously, she had to do that on her own. Her current struggle was not his primary concern, uncaring though it was.
"What in the nine circles," Katie asked in disbelief, "makes you think a single denizen of hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?!"
Charlie looked down, though there was some determination in her eyes.
"You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good just... because?!" Katie burst out in laughter with the studio again.
"Well, we already have a patron, who believes in our cause, and has shown incredible progress!" Charlie declared confidently.
"Oh? And who might that be?"
"Oh, just someone named, Angel Dust."
'So they already have a first patient,' Jersey thought, 'and it's one named after the street name for PCP.' Jersey hardly ever partook in drugs outside of an odd drink once every blue moon. It was odd to him why someone would call themselves such a name.
"The porn star?" Tom Trench asked.
"You fucking would, Tom..." Katie leered at her cohost with a suggestive look.
The gas mask wearing newscaster squirmed under her gaze.
"In any case, that's not even an accomplishment." Katie continued cynically. "I'm sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube."
"Oh I beg to differ." Charlie refuted. "He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now."
Suddenly, a chime for a breaking story rang through the studio.
"Breaking news!" A male voice announced into Katie's earpiece. Smirking, the news hostess pushed Charlie off of the desk.
"We have received word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war!" Katie spoke with a sickly sweet eagerness at the update. "Let's go to the live feed."
The live footage showed a white haired, four armed, furry demon with black, thigh high boots, a dark red bow tie, red gloves, a pink striped jacket, and a black short skirt engaging in the violence with glee. Sporting freckle like pits under his eyes, the four-armed combatant sported eyes with dark pink pupils and differing sclera; one was white, the other black. He was laughing with glee, his sharp teeth exposed as he threw a small bomb at a random enemy.
This was Angel Dust, and he had just delivered a harsh blow to Charlie's credibility.
"Oh shit..." Charlie cursed aloud.
"Oh shit indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than-" Katie gasped in false surprise for dramatic effect. "-porn actor Angel Dust! What a juicy coincidence!" Katie turned back to Charlie. "You must feel really stupid right now."
Katie and Tom both laughed together. "Ratings!" They shouted in celebration.
"Don't look at this!" Charlie attempted to block the screen showing the turf war and her patrons eager participation in it. Unfortunately, the shot was projected onto an enchanted green screen, ensuring that even non-green objects would not be able to block the content being shown.
"Well, it looks like your little project is dead on arrival." Katie observed with sadistic satisfaction. "Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure?"
Jersey disagreed, if only because his attention was not on whether redemption was possible. As long as the princess had a physical building to him to live in, that was satisfactory enough. Of course, a way to find or contact the hotel would be appreciated, too.
As laughter roared inside the studio and trickled throughout the restaurant, Charlie reacted unexpectedly.
"Yeah, well... How does it feel that I got your pen huh?" Charlie snatched up the discarded red pen in front of where Katie was sitting. "Bitch?!"
Jersey promptly cackled with laughter.
Silence swept over the tv station. A switch appeared to flick inside Katie's head as she stopped laughing and soon glared at the princess.
"He he, uh... oops..." Charlie tried to deescalate the situation by putting the pen down with a nervous chuckle and toothy smile.
Tom Trench ducked for cover to escape the wrath of his very vindictive cohost. Exposing two pairs of sharp limbs, almost akin to the forearms of a mantis, Katie growled ferociously as a brawl engulfed the studio. Within seconds, the live feed had been cut off, and panicked voices tried to stop the chaos unfolding. The cat fight that broke out primarily involved Katie swiping at her royal foe and trying to pin the Princess of Hell to the news desk. Charlie, surprisingly enough, held her own despite the towering and vicious newscastor she was fighting with.
"Please somebody help me!" Tom Trench, now utterly engulfed in flames, screamed for assistance as he ran in a panic in front of the camera.
Jersey continued to guffaw with laughter at the madness on screen. This was the most enjoyment he had felt in quite some time. The fun did not last long. As Charlie and Katie Killjoy screamed into each other's faces in what he assumed was going to be the climax of the battle in the 666 News studio, the station cut to a 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' message.
After a few seconds of gut busting chuckles, Jersey calmed himself down. He promptly got back to finishing off his meal. Now he was very content.
The Happy Hotel was an actual establishment that existed in Hell. There was a chance he could find a place to rest his head without resorting to sleeping in the streets.
He had also found himself laughing for the first time in ages, but that was a minor detail.
"You sure looked like you were having a blast watching that shit show..." The waitress returned with the check, a small bit of paper with a bill of just under five dollars.
"Indeed." Jersey glanced at the bill. He could pay for the appetizer and still have a little something to give as a tip.
"You don't honestly think what the princess said was possible, right?"
"It's good entertainment. Nothing wrong with commending her on that end." He answered cryptically.
The waitress said nothing as Jersey placed six dollars into her hand. She went to the register to get his change.
"Now to just find the place..." Jersey whispered to himself. Having cleaned up the basket which held the now gone tortilla chips, he finished off his water, waiting to get his change back.
If there was one thing Jersey remained frustrated with, it was the lack of information presented on 666 News about an address or contact information regarding the hotel. The scathing mockery of the hotel's purpose aside, a place with a roof over one's head was a much desired commodity. Jersey, now walking during the solemn hours of dusk, was almost desperate to find the place Princess Charlie talked about.
'I've been searching for too damn long. I should just forget about subtlety and fly around to find the place.' He thought tiredly.
His observations found that aside from a few eldritch cretins which stalked the skies, very little took to the air to get to places. Few sinners had the ability to fly, but there was surely an exception to the unspoken rule.
Jersey's mind had wandered to other subjects, the most obvious one being the concept of rehabilitation to those damned to the depths of Hell. It was a very unlikely possibility that any soul could have their punishment revoked through good behavior alone.
For a few seconds, Jersey imagined what it would be like if circumstances were different. In an alternate timeline, perhaps he would be one to seek out this program regardless of the practical matters of having a hotel to sleep in. However, hypotheticals were not reality. Jersey knew that even if he took on the life of a Saint, he would never be invited into heaven.
Being reincarnated into a Devil stripped him of his humanity. Even if Jersey removed the fact that he had killed people as far back since he was seventeen and his lack of conformity with Christian doctrine, it would not matter. His soul was corrupted irreversibly no thanks to the man who demanded he call him master. It guaranteed that the only thing Jersey would be awarded with upon death was utter oblivion. He would simply be no more.
A certain part of him admired Princess Charlie for her determination and surprisingly charitable thoughts about her subjects. His resentment to others of her class aside, Jersey had no quarrel with the Princess. It was admittedly ironic that a daughter of the original ruler of Hell would be such a kind hearted being. Perhaps rebellion against one's father ran in the family line.
Of course, getting in the Princess' good graces had more practical benefits. If Jersey presented himself just right, he could be given a job as an electrician and/or plumber of the Happy Hotel. A stable career and a place to sleep could be attained in one fell swoop.
If only he could find the damned place. He was not certain if he could trust anyone to give him forthright directions. Even Cherri Bomb's name drop came with a bit of coercion on Jersey's part. He didn't want to draw attention to himself by giving more sinful strangers the third degree.
Suddenly, a feeling of danger cascaded over Jersey's form. He stopped dead in his tracks. A chill of trepidation as natural as any fearful man caused his senses to sharpen. His ears were tuned to catch the faintest sound, and his eyes darted around to watch any crevice where an ambush could happen.
Jersey could detect someone who was powerful, and they were a practitioner of a very malevolent form of magic.
Only a few beings had inspired such a sensation before. One of those individuals cast him down into this Hell in the first place. Thankfully, the warning that was buzzing in his heart was not nearly as potent as his fateful encounter with Sirzechs, but he could tell that the origin of this feeling was someone with considerable power. It was a very evil power at that.
The surge of wicked energy came from just up the street. Jersey could hear a muffled explosion as his curiosity was peaked. Normally he would avoid the potential for conflict, but a bit of reconnaissance might help him avoid a fight that he might otherwise not win or benefit from.
Running at the speed of an Olympic athlete, he eventually saw a section of the road where much of the surrounding buildings were low to the ground. One exception that he saw on his left, was the place he had been searching for all day.
The building, nearly 20 stories tall, sat beneath a sign lit with old fashioned neon lights: Happy Hotel. However, the entire structure looked like a hodgepodge of numerous construction designs and building fragments forced together into an engineering chimera. Among other things, the remains of a formerly sunken ship, a Jupiter steam locomotive on a pair of severed tracks, and a small temple with a Chinese design could be identified. The entire building was colored in a scheme of burgundy and brown hues. Peach colored stained glass windows with crimson centers made the bulk of the apertures present. The entrance was ornate and demonically inspired, but Jersey was not about to let that turn him away.
His concentration was broken off by a mushroom cloud explosion, leading his eyes to an open park where several figures were standing before a smoking, massive crater that was drenched in evil energy. The power was also emanating from one tall figure in a tattered dress coat.
Jersey suppressed his power and took cover behind a corner of the hotel. He didn't come all this way to get in a fight with someone that powerful, especially since he did not know their capabilities. Eventually, the small group made their way back to the hotel. He heard a most peculiar voice, a man's theatrical musings through the filter of a 1930's radio.
"Yes sir, this is the start of some real changes here! The game is set! Now..." A flash of power could be perceived above the hotel. "Stay tuned..."
Jersey was now completely on edge. Not only was he in unfamiliar territory, but he was now in close proximity to a potential enemy. Regardless of his own prodigious abilities, he was hesitant to combat someone who could wield such dark powers in such a casual manner. When he was sure the group had made their way back into the hotel, he slowly stepped out into the front, making sure to keep his body out of the sight of one of the windows.
The title of Happy Hotel had been replaced with the words 'Hazbin Hotel.' Observing the sudden change in name stunned Jersey. After all, the ability to warp reality was a very potent and rare talent. The most worrying prospect was that the person who could accomplish this feat with consummate ease was inside the hotel.
Even still, Jersey couldn't drop his pursuit of a place to sleep now. Dusk was already around him. It was either now, or next morning, when people would be awake and able to provide him with hotel service. He would just have to settle for steeling his nerves for whatever monstrosity conjured the terrible power he was sensing.
Instinctively, Jersey extended an infinitesimal bit of his power for one purpose: to listen. Even among Devils, Jersey prided himself on being able to reach out with his physical senses to help him when hunting or fighting. He pressed an ear to the wall left of the front entrance. The insulation of the hotel was considerable, but he could still make out a conversation.
"Al, you really don't have to go out of your way to fix a meal for us." The voice came from the Princess. She was indeed inside.
"I insist!" Charlie was answered by the old fashioned radio voice again. The man speaking sounded bright and charismatic, his voice belonging to a professional performer on a stage.
"After all," the voice continued, "it is the hour of dinner, my dear. This is but a gesture of goodwill towards our new understanding of each other."
"How do we know you won't poison us?" Another woman spoke up accusingly.
The radio voice was offended. "Perish the thought. As I said, this is a family recipe. I am many things my dear, but I'm not nearly so treacherous as that. It would be disgraceful to kill a new business partner with a dish that my dear mother created so long ago."
"Sheesh, talk about paranoid, ya fuckin' bitch." A North Jersey accent insulted the second voice.
"Gilipollas." The woman cursed back in Spanish.
"Alright, enough. Angel, apologize to Vaggie."
"Ugh. Sorry." The North Jersey speaker stated in a noncommittal way.
"Al, we'd be happy to have your mother's jambalaya." Charlie said.
"That's just wonderful! Take me to your kitchen. I'll make the preparations right away!"
"But, we don't have that much in the way of food or ingredients."
"I'll just be using the stove. I assume you have at least one sufficiently large pot."
"I believe so." Charlie replied.
"Good! I have no shortage of essential foodstuffs to make one of my mother's specialties. Just let me take care of the rest, Charlie."
Jersey sighed to himself. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with entering the premise knowing that a being of such great power was inside waiting for him. Besides, they were going to have dinner; it would be rude to interrupt such a gathering.
"Guess I'll wait and hope that this guy goes away." He sat against the corner of the hotel. It was not a comfortable place to rest, but Jersey nonetheless felt entitled to a brief respite after the eventful day he had been through.
He closed his eyes, making sure not to fall asleep in case he was ambushed.
His rest was not permanent. When Jersey sensed that the evil presence inside was walking towards the front entrance, he quickly jumped to his feet. Still suppressing his power, he was in no mood to get in a potential fight with whoever it was that caused the explosion from earlier. Jersey leapt behind the front right corner of the hotel when the evil presence stepped outside.
"Yes, if everything goes according to plan, I'll have achieved a constant source of entertainment for years to come! Truly, the Princess is an under appreciated gift to Hell itself, not to mention a gift to me. Ha ha ha!"
Jersey's humanoid form shifted to a small entity slithering on the ground. Where there was once a man, there was now a solid black snake with distinctive orange eyes. Jersey now took a good look at the dangerous entity with the radio filtered voice, albeit whilst looking up from the ground.
A tall, thin man with corpse gray skin stood proudly outside. His attire consisted of crimson themes, with a pinstripe, dark red dress coat, burgundy pants, a complementary bow tie, and black dress shoes. His vermillion gloved hands were grasped behind his back.
Oddly enough, this being had characteristics of a deer. The man had two tufts of hair on his head which looked like the ears of the previously mentioned beast. Two vestigial antlers protruded from the man's scalp, and a stout, fluffy tail stood up under the man's coat tails. His hair was black with red fringes. The wicked looking man turned his head in the direction of Jersey, though he only saw a black snake coiled nonchalantly at the corner of the building.
The man's face sent a chill down Jersey's now serpentine spine.
The radio voiced hellion sported blood chilling, red eyes. A crimson monocle sat in front of his right eye. His teeth, badly yellowed, were just as sharp as Cherri Bomb's. The difference was that her smile was the teasing grin of an adrenaline junkie; this was the toothy grimace of a psychotic predator.
Needless to say, Jersey would have gone into attack mode for the sake of self defense had he developed no sense of self discipline.
Thankfully, the demon did not pursue when Jersey slithered away, instead giving a dismissive hum before he chuckled once again. With a spring in his step, he began to walk with purpose towards the heart of the city. A jaunty tune from the 1930s accompanied him down the sidewalk.
Then the radio voiced man was gone.
'I'll need to be wary of that one.' Jersey thought nervously. The potential of the red eyed man, with regards to destructive power, was not to be underestimated. The look in his eyes was that of a monster that happily devoured its victims. Jersey knew from the look in his eyes that he would try to kill him without compunction if given the excuse. It was a small miracle that he did not have to resort to violence with an inherently powerful being like that without knowing the full scope of their capabilities.
His serpentine form slowly crawled out into the open. Jersey rarely ever transformed into animals, but the more discrete forms he could access had their uses. It was just a blessing that the man he had just stared at did not consider him to be a pest to be exterminated or a meal to be eaten. Now he just had to have the guts to enter the Hotel.
Shaking off the unsettling feeling of having a powerful sinner look at him as a dog would a new toy, Jersey relinquished his limbless, scaly body and became humanoid once more. Stepping out to the front of the twin set of stained glass doors, Jersey swallowed his fear and made a few knocks to alert the people inside.
It was time to truly make his own way in this unforgiving world.
I'd like to say a belated Happy Thanksgiving to all of the people who have dared to give this blossoming narrative a read.
On a side note, I will be publishing two one shots elaborating moments from Benjamin's backstory. They are looselyinspired from songfics that one can find throughout .
They will be published as High School DxD stories, as that is the universe that Benjamin originates from. The one shots will be published one after the other. As a hint, the chapters will be named after lyrics of one of Benjamin's canonical favorite songs.
Thanks again for your viewership, and I wish you good health.