Chapter Three: Confessions

Cold, damp and suffocating, that was the only way Alice could describe her feeling. She remembered just moments ago, when her eyes had stayed shut, the world felt incongruous…disoriented. Her hair, her dress was being blown towards all directions, yet she could not find the source for such powerful a wind. Eager to know her whereabouts, Alice opened her eyes. The light was dim, the air was icy and a mist enveloped her. She looked around and saw nothing but an endless tulgey forest; dark woods extended as far as she could see but the wind seemed to have ceased. Alice remained motionless as she stood amongst colossal trees; it would be untrue to say she enjoyed the surroundings, she didn't, but she was lost. Logically, Alice ought to be searching for a way out, but she did not possess the verve to do so.

Alice was exhausted. It was not the kind of fatigue one would experience after a day of strenuous labor, but that which one would suffer after a great loss. The exhaustion was caused by a burden to her heart. She could fathom no explanation, but her heartache seemed potent enough as though there was a void in her chest. Wishing to cast away such obnoxious sensations, Alice focused on the environment again. The humidity of the surroundings dampened everything; her dress became heavy, that golden hair of hers appeared slightly darkened and at her fingertips she could feel a soft wetness. Alice then realized she was holding on to a small piece of cloth. She inspected it closely; it was of an onyx color and the length of a bandage.

What is this…? I've seen it somewhere. I know it in my heart this isn't the first time I've felt its gentle texture…

The image of a man appeared, in her mind, but also directly in front of her. That man was dressed in a simple but professional military uniform. Although it was only his back that faced her, Alice had needed less than a second to recognize him.

Kirito!

Upon her realization, the very earth she stood on shifted. In the flash of an eye, Alice was no longer standing still; instead, she was free falling and there was no end in sight. The entire ground which she had been on top a moment ago was now vertiginous cliffs. Her descent into the abyss had frightened her, but her panic compounded infinitely as she realized the piece of cloth had slipped from her hand. Maybe because she was too weak to hold on, or maybe some unseeable forces had taken it; whatever the case, it was gone. Try as she might, the fluttering of her dress and the waving of her graceful blonde hair had blocked her vision and rendered her efforts to reclaim it futile. Soon, it had completely vanished. Alice watched hopelessly as the only gift Kirito had granted her drifted away into nihility.

Down, down, down. The fall appeared endless; as Alice attempted to steer herself, she became cognizant of the innumerable pillars of light all around her. The lilac and fracturing columns turned the caliginous environment glittering, but shadowy all the same. Where the light of the columns had faded, a shade of dark loomed; one that reminded Alice of Kirito's sword.

Kirito!

As the thought of the Black Swordsman reentered her mind, the descent stopped. Alice landed swiftly and gently; or rather, the ground simply materialized under her feet, and without seeming to have ever moved at all.

Having stood firmly on her feet for only a second, Alice's attention was suddenly drawn as a blinding light shot from behind her. Those violet columns that were only moments ago scattered around her liquefied, and congregated into a wall of light. So lustrous it was, all the darkness around her dispersed. Something about the wall perplexed Alice; on the surface, it offered nothing more than its incandescence, but it was somehow mesmerizing…hypnotic. Enchanted by the light, Alice stretched her hand out in an attempt to touch it…feel it. It was that moment, unbeknownst to even herself, she slowly started to float until she had reached half the height of that wall. Somewhere deep within, a figure formed gradually; first only a silhouette, then the shape resembled a knight; his ensemble became firmer as lines of white and gold that indicated his uniform separated themselves from the sea of light. Finally, the face…the sharp, handsome face of Kirito emerged. Alice was speechless as she saw him smiling warmly at her.

"Kirito…"

All Alice wished to do was to gently caress it, touch it and forget everything that had bothered her. She believed…knew that the only salvation she had was the man standing before her. After staring for what she thought was an eternity, her fingers extended. However, the moment they made contact, the brightness of that wall intensified. In the matter of seconds, everything had vanished; the wall, the trees and the whole world melted and were consumed within.

A voice spoke:

"Alice…"

That voice was clouded, as if someone had said it submerged under water. Perhaps a cave would be a better description as the voice loitered long after it was said, the word echoed continuously for what seemed like millennia. But when Alice finally focused on it, it had reduced to nothingness. The blinding white light that consumed all had been replaced by a soft crimson that indicated the coming of dawn. Alice then opened her eyes widely and felt the same soft material beneath her as she did the previous night.

The blonde knight sat up and took a deep breath, finally comprehending her surroundings. Alice did not realize how covered in sweat she was until she reached out to the young man sleeping next to her.

"Kirito…" Alice whispered as she embraced him, "…Kirito…was that what you were trying to tell me? Is that what I feel for you…?"

09:34 A.M. 3rd of the Eleventh Month, Year 380 H.E.C. – Human Empire Army Encampments near the Eastern Gate

Just as any other fine morning, the light of Solus blessed the land of the Empire as it always had. While the fields were teeming with life and joy, the people dwelling there certainly did not reflect such moods. The imperial army now braced itself for the final preparations as the Eastern Gate was expected to fall at any moment. Meanwhile, the highest ranking officers as well as all available knights were summoned to join a war council, one that would decide once and for all their plan for survival, and hopefully, victory.

After gaining the permission for Ronye and Tiese to guard Kirito for the rest of the day, Alice made her way towards the command center for the meeting. Before entering the venue though, Alice was stopped by a voice.

"Hey!"

"Good morning, Uncle." Alice replied warmly as she found the commander standing right beside her.

"About where we're going to put that young man…" Bercouli began hesitantly, "If you want, I can ask the rearguard to…"

"No, it's alright." Alice interrupted politely, "I met his former pages from the academy, and asked them to look after him once the battle begins."

"Oh? That's good to hear. So how is the young man? Did coming into contact with people from his past spark anything in him?"

A disappointed frown from Alice was all the answer he needed. "I see…to be honest, I can't help but feel that he'll be the one to decide the course of the coming war."

"How do you mean?"

"Even if he had help from you and his partner, defeating the Prime Senator and Her Holiness was an incredible feat. I'm not sure if even I could be a match for the intensity of his Incarnation."

"That can't be…"

"When our willpower clashed yesterday, I definitely felt it. That boy has the same amount of experience in actual combat as I do, perhaps even more."

"What do you mean by…actual combat?"

"Exactly what I said – a fight with his life on the line. The Taboo Index prohibits any battles to the death. So where did the boy gain that kind of experience?"

Right. She kept forgetting. Kirito was not only a swordsman of unimaginable might. From what she could understand, he was also a warrior from another world. If the church was propagating any heavenly realm, then Kirito's homeland must be the closest to one. That must be where Kirito had honed his skills and made his Incarnation a match to even the Lord Commander's.

"Uncle, Kirito's actually…"

Bercouli suddenly realized a much more intriguing topic and interrupted her. "Now, little one…be honest with me."

"Yes…?"

"What exactly is the nature of you two's relationship?" Bercouli asked with a mischievous smile.

Blushing, Alice stuttered weakly. "I…we…"

"Now now…there's no need to hide. You know honesty is part of our knightly principles."

Staring awkwardly at her patriarch, who now had the corners of his mouth slid upwards, Alice remained mute for several seconds before stammering, "He and I…we're just…"

"Oh…just companions, eh?" Bercouli probed with an amused laughter. "I wasn't aware 'just companions' swear to protect and take care of each other for six months without fail."

Speechless and flushed, Alice then diverted her gaze towards the ground to avoid further eye-contact.

"I'm serious though, little one." Bercouli changed his tone abruptly.

He continued after seeing Alice paying attention once more, "I never served as your designated mentor, but I think it's fair to say of all other knights I know you best. And I also know this: you've changed, little one. After you've spent time with that young man, you are more mature…happier too. When you were devoted to the Order entirely, you were missing something, now I sense that you've already figured out what that is. I don't understand the full story here, but I dare say, that boy is someone special, to you above all.

"So little one…don't be afraid of what lies ahead, I'm sure you and that boy can work this out between the two of you." The familiar laid-back tone then returned as Bercouli smirked. "Just as Fanatio and I have …"

"My Lord," Bercouli was cut off again as a deep alluring voice interjected. "It's almost time for the war council."

"Lady Fanatio." Alice saluted at once.

What happened next though, caught Alice completely off guard. Standing before her was not the usual cantankerous vice commander that struck fear into man's heart, and certainly not the vice commander that she had absolutely despised working with; instead, a dazzling woman faced Alice as she removed her helmet.

Lady Fanatio…wearing makeup?

"It's been a long time, Alice." Fanatio began, "I'm ever so glad to see you well."

Thoroughly astonished, Alice simply stared wide-eyed without responding.

Ever so glad? Wait…what happened to her? She sounds feminine for once…

"I-I'm glad to see you, too."

"Say, Alice, I heard you brought that black-haired boy with you."

"Uh, yes…?"

"I see. Could I see him briefly after the war council, then?"

"Why…?"

"I just want to thank him."

"Thank him?"

"Yes, for fighting and defeating me." Fanatio paused shortly before going on, "In all my years serving as an Integrity Knight, that boy is the only one who fought me all-out, even though he knew I was a woman."

"What do you mean by…?"

"Whenever a man fights me, there's always a slight difference in his swordplay. When I realized that, I hid my face with a helmet and mastered the art of continuous attacks to prevent opponents from getting close. But that was only because I myself have been self-conscious. That boy saw right through me and didn't hold back. As we crossed swords, I unleashed all my sword and art techniques, by the time it was over, my trivial obsessions had completely vanished." The Vice-Commander added with a chuckle, "See? It's no wonder I'd want to thank that boy, right? And I must admit, I'm also a little annoyed, as he never sensed any femininity from looking at my bare face. So I thought I can try a few things…and maybe if I do so, he might wake up."

Alice could barely hide the irritation, so she hastily covered it with a slight cough, "I'm grateful for your kind words, Lady Fanatio, but he's resting in his tent right now. I shall pass on your regards to him later."

"Oh my, must I acquire your permission to see the boy?" Fanatio asked in a sarcastic tone. "Whenever you asked to see the Commander while he was on duty, did I ever refuse you out of personal feelings?"

"Surely I don't need your permission to see Uncle." retorted Alice swiftly, if not crudely. "And above all, if all you wanted was to be beaten up by a male knight, shouldn't you have just asked Uncle to do so?"

"Oh, now, My Lord here is exempted." The elder of the duo said as she gestured towards the Commander. "As the most powerful swordsman in the world, it goes without saying he'd go easy on anyone."

"Oh, is that right?" an annoyed Alice snapped back. "Whenever he trained with me, he'd always be drenched with sweat from going all-out."

Upon hearing that, Fanatio's expression twisted into visible crossness before she and Alice turned towards Bercouli in unison to question the man's position.

"Uncle, this is all your fault for –"

"My Lord, is that true –"

Nothing… Nothing was standing where Bercouli once did.

A deep voice at the entrance of the Command Center then pulled them out of their altercation, "Oi, it's time to begin the war council."

After saying so, the Commander entered without even batting either woman an eye.

The war council began as planned; the captains of the imperial army as well as all other knights congregated while Lady Fanatio carefully explained the strategy she and the Commander had meticulously drawn out the past few weeks.

I see…forcing an outcome in the valley where the Eastern Gate stands…that is indeed an ingenious idea. By blockading the ravine, we can prevent any damage done to our land at the same time nullifying their numerical superiority using only the terrain. Alice contemplated as the vice commander continued her explanation.

That strategy was perfect…except one point.

"One more question, Lady Fanatio." Alice asked as she stood up. "No matter how sparse the blessings of Solus and Terraria there are, there must be a vast amount of resources built up over the years, what kind of person would be able to deplete that power in the short time we have before the battle?"

"There is someone. Just one is capable of doing that."

"Just one?"

"That would be you, Alice Synthesis Thirty."

Before Alice could even respond, Fanatio went on, "Perhaps you haven't realized, but your power has now far surpassed that of any other Integrity Knight. I'm sure you are capable of wielding it – the true sacred power that can split the heavens and rupture the earth."

Unable to answer, Alice shifted her gaze slightly right of the Vice-Commander to seek her mentor's reaction. Bercouli did not seem to doubt Fanatio's appraisal of her strength, instead, he nodded approvingly towards Alice and signaled his deputy to continue the council.

Alice sat down slowly and attempted to comprehend what she had been told.

The true sacred power that can split the heavens and rupture the earth…Am I really capable? Uncle has told me I'm growing stronger every day, but this…

After the council was concluded, Bercouli ordered the total mobilization of the imperial army; medics, soldiers and knights were given one last hour before setting foot into the gloomy ravine. Alice hurried back to her tent for the preparations, and to make sure her only worry would be taken care of.

"Alright, then please look after Kirito for me." Alice announced as she readied her armors and sword.

"Understood, please leave it to us." Tiese replied.

"Lady Alice, we promise to protect Kirito, no matter what." Ronye added.

After receiving an appreciative nod, the young girls left the tent briefly to allow the knights some privacy.

Alice knelt before Kirito and said, "Kirito…this could be our final farewell…I'll do my best, I'm going to burn every last drop of life you gave me just as you burned yours fighting Her Holiness the Pontifex. So if I should fall in battle…and call upon your name with all the strength I possess, will you then draw your sword for me? If you are awake, it won't matter how many tens of thousands the enemy has. Make a miracle happen again and protect everyone. After all, you…"

Alice leant forward and snaked her arms around Kirito before whispering by his ear. "After all, you…are the greatest swordsman in the world… And Kirito…I've learned something…I've figured out why I exist, and where my strength comes from; my whole existence has but one purpose…one Calling…to protect those I love. The Human Empire, the Rulid Village, Father, Mother, Selka…and you…Kirito…I love you. You taught me why we fight, you taught me what we are protecting, and above all, you gave my life meaning and you gave me a freedom that I have never been given… It was with this freedom I have gained my power, and realized my love for you. Kirito…you saved me from the fall, from those minions and from the Administrator. I'll need you now more than ever, so please, wake up and save me when the time comes…I love you, Kirito…"

With tears threatening to fall, Alice quickly wiped them away while she rose to her feet. As she turned to leave, Alice spent one last moment planting a gentle kiss on Kirito's cheek before stepping away.

"A-Ali –" Kirito suddenly moaned.

Alice dared not turn back; she had to convince herself she had merely imagined a response. With trembling hands, Alice grabbed the portiere and stopped in her tracks.

Could this be real? After all this time…could this be real?

Kirito's agonizing groans echoed again, "Ali…ce…"

After hearing a voice so clear, Alice let go of the soft material and dashed back towards the ravenette.

"Kirito?" Alice all but yelled. "Kirito? Please, call for me one more time!"

It was, however, not to be. Kirito's voice had ceased and no other reaction was given. Before Alice could be disheartened, she was shocked again by a new development. Streams of tears rolled down Kirito's cheeks as their fingers interlocked. Alice, knowing very well that it was the closest thing to a proper response Kirito had given her these past months, burst into tears herself.

"Kirito…Kirito…" Alice whispered as she pulled him close.

Softly caressing his hair, Alice continued, "It's alright Kirito…it's alright…I know you've heard me. As long as my voice has reached you, I'm grateful…"

Author's notes:

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