Again, sorry for the wait, but here's some more that you wanted. Welcome to the shit show that this is gonna be after Lincoln changed every-fucking-thing. I'm so annoyed with her right now, but I found a way to put in a boatload of angst somehow. Enjoy.

T. Rycbar needs to update her fucking stories.

IDon'tOwnMarvel

Going back to the compound was going to be hard at first, I was sure of it. Sure, it might be nice to see Steve again, a man I'd learn to count on even when things were rough, but the idea of being somewhere where I might be considered unwelcome at unpredictable times, didn't sound like tons of fun. And it certainly didn't feel like a home to me. So far, the closest feeling to home I'd gotten was being shot through space or eaten by aliens on Sakkar. I didn't much like that thought, so I opted to push it aside in favor of facing the place with optimism.

I took a deep breath as I paced into the main part of the building and down towards the non-government run section. The moment Jarvis let me in, I was greeted with a quick look up from Tony.

"Dude," I laughed immediately, seeing how he was lying on the couch by himself in the living room. "It's so late."

"Not my fault you got back at an ungodly hour," He huffed, getting to his feet and sauntering over to take a box out of my hands. "I have to show you something."

"Did you find out who wants me dead?" I asked, following him along towards the hallway of bedrooms where we first stopped at mine to drop off the boxes and my backpack. "I would like an update on that so I can avoid them."

"That's not the thing I have to show you." He shook his head and waved me along then towards the elevator. "It's way cooler than that."

The elevator shut and he pressed the button for the basement lab.

I stood in silence for a moment with him before speaking up again. "So are you gonna ask how it went?"

He looked back at me briefly like he was just realizing before shrugging lightly. "I figured…you'd tell me if you wanted."

"You already know don't you?"

He shook his head with a frown, the elevator stopping and making him get out with haste. "Don't ask me stupid questions."

"I should really be going to bed, Tony." I admitted then, following him in anyways. "I sat next to a lady with a toddler on the plane. The damn kid kept kicking me and then crying because she didn't have a blue lollipop for him. I mean, I felt bad for her too, but mostly just for me because I'm not the one who decided to have a crotch demon and then take him on a plane."

"I don't think I've heard the term 'crotch demon' before," He muttered, pacing over to the computers. "Not bad. I might use it for you."

"Well," I rolled my eyes, "I'm not your kid, so it wouldn't make sense. Plus, I'm nineteen now."

He hesitated at that with a small look my way before nodding me over. "I found your phone."

My heart skipped a beat and I moved over to his computer with him. "What?"

"Sim card was intact." He explained, pulling up my information on the computer; Apps, contacts…photos. "I got you a new phone too. A better one. But if you're interested, I have it all here too."

I sat down when he offered me a chair with him and stared, mostly speechless before I could click on the photo albums. The first photo that showed up made me smile. I pointed at it for Tony.

"That's my cat." I looked over the screen, biting my lip with my heart swelling at the idea of getting a visual image of my family. "Bonnie. We have another cat, Clyde, that belonged to Ellie, but, uh, he was terribly un-photogenic."

"Bonnie and Clyde," Tony muttered to himself, "Not bad. You like cats?"

"Cat's don't fix accusations of genocide and emotional abuse, Tony." I huffed back, shaking my head.

"Well, I…" He opened and shut hi mouth before gesturing at the screen vaguely when I clicked on a photo of myself and my sister. "I knew you missed the lizard…uh, Lighting."

"Thundercracker," I whispered, taking a deep breath at the sight of my sister and our two neighbor friends. "Don't replace my best friend with a cat either."

He looked at me for a moment then before looking back to the screen as I searched my camera roll for photos of my parents. "What about two cats?"

"No." I actually cracked a smile at his effort. "I'm grieving still."

Tony sat around for a bit, probably just being nosy while I looked through all my photos and then asked Friday to print some out for me. Tony was especially interested in a photo I had of myself and Ellie with 'Loki' and 'Thor'. While he did understand that they were actors in this photo, he thought it was 'unsettling' to see Loki smiling with glasses and a beard. I just remembered how Ellie had a hard time calming down enough for the photo in order to give the camera a nervous smile.

I wondered for a moment then, how she'd do here. Maybe if I had her around, I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting things that could cost lives. Maybe I wouldn't feel so lost all the time.

"Thank you." I muttered, not feeling great about the lump in my throat that I got after scrolling through old photos I never thought I'd see again. "This, um- This means a lot."

Tony shrugged like it was nothing. "It was ten minutes out of my day. No big deal."

I nodded at that, tapping my foot on the ground. "Um, off topic, but did you guys ever find Winnie?"

Tony smiled at that and clicked away from my photos towards another folder on his computer. "Yep. He went down on a helicopter a few days ago. Dead on impact. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

My heart sank a little as I gathered that information in my head. "W-wait. Dead?"

"Yup," Tony pulled up a photo of a mangled and burnt helicopter that looked like it was pulled out of the water. He looked thrilled. "No more Winnie."

I was…less thrilled for some reason. It didn't sit right with me. "Are you- Are you sure he's dead? He could've gotten away."

"Nope, " Tony shook his head with a proud smile, "All four bodies accounted for. One held a badge for a Hydra Operative by the name of Adam Maywether. That's his real name by the way."

I started at the wreck for a moment before a box trembled in my head. "Are you sure?"

"I said…yes?" Tony gave me a funny look. "Relax, Birdie, he kicked it. Guy's dead. As dead as any dead thing has ever been."

"I don't believe it." I muttered, my foot tapping faster on the ground as I smoothed my pants. "That can't be right, Tony. I know he's there."

"He's really not, kid." Tony looked back at the computer. "Sometimes people just die."

"No, because he doesn't." I jabbed my finger at the screen and took a shaky breath. "He doesn't get to. That's not fair."

Tony gave me a sympathetic look. "I don't know what you want me to say here. I thought you wanted-"

"Yeah, but not…" I winced and rolled away from the screen for a moment, taking some deeper breaths. "Not like that. That's not fair."

"Okay," Tony rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Look, as people with…special abilities, sometimes we think we're entitled to things like- oh I don't know- revenge? You know who's really good at that 'let's count our blessings' chat? Wanna guess? I'll give you a hint, he's like Elsa but more jacked."

"Steve." I looked away from Tony with the idea of Winnie dying some short dumb death eating away at my sanity. "That's now how these things go. I'm supposed to, like, have some moment when I'm not afraid of him anymore, right? Then he goes to jail or get's himself killed. That's what's supposed to happen."

"Yeah, that's not how the real world works, kid." Tony sat back in his chair. "People die stupid deaths and no one get's what they want. We don't get happy endings here or satisfying conclusions."

"Just thought I might," I muttered back, feeling stupid and wondering how I'd shove Winnie in a box so I wouldn't have to deal with him. "That's normally how it happens here."

"I'm gonna tell you something, and you're not going to tell anyone else ever, okay?" He crossed his arms at me.

I shook my head, ignoring the look he was giving me. "Okay?"

"We're all afraid." He said, looking down at his hand then briefly. "All the time. Afraid of dying on the job, of our friends dying on the job or because of what we do- and yes, we are all afraid of the people and the things that we've killed. Because every waking moment is spent having to think about the things you did to survive. That's why revenge doesn't work. It makes it worse. Trust me."

I looked at him finally, wishing that I could take what he said to heart and believe him, but I needed closure. He knew that. I knew that. Maybe if I shoved him away in that cardboard box in my head, he'd go away on his own. That's closure, right?

"Sometimes people die, they change their minds, they forget…" He waved a hand vaguely. "They don't know what they did wrong. And then we have to sit around and remember. When they die, they don't have to. Why do you think I let Barnes beat himself up over what he did instead of tearing him apart myself? That's a best case scenario with bad guys. And you'd never get that with a bunch of white supremacists who are dead set on getting their way. It sucks. But that's what needed to happen to your man. And I'd call it your best case scenario because now none of us has to have more blood on our hands. He deserves a stupid death."

I took a deep breath and looked away again, effectively trapping Winnie's self and annoying laugh in a box. "I disagree with the Bucky thing. He didn't know."

"Is that all you got from my heartfelt speech?" He asked back, looking mildly annoyed. "Look, I'll accept that he was manipulated and tortured, but I am not going out of my way to help him get better. Right now he won't look at me and it makes me feel great."

"Tony." I cracked a small smile at that.

"He's a murderer and I hate him." Tony smiled back. "He can suffer. He's not my problem."

"He lives here."

"I like to watch him suffer." Tony shrugged it off easily with the same small smile. "Don't beat yourself up over Winnie."

I went back to my bedroom that night after collecting the new 'stark industries' phone off the desk with all my information on it. Late into the night, I could be found scrolling through all the photos or listening to downloaded music that did not exist yet here while laying on the couch. My favorite playlist had all of Lizzo's currently unreleased music. I think the album came out in 2016, so I'd have to wait to see if she released it here too. It was a funny thought to me still- Lizzo coexisting in the same universe as the avengers. There were many famous people who existed here, but it was always Lizzo that just kind of threw me for a loop. Lizzo and Taylor Swift.

The next day, I barely made it two steps out of my bedroom before I was nearly knocked over by a streak of blue in front of me. Pietro turned right back around and stopped in front of me with a big smile.

"Awe. Did you miss me?" He grinned, tilting his head at me and getting me to frown back.

"Hardly."

I pushed his shoulder aside and walked around him with him following close behind.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh, breakfast?" I couldn't help the small smile that slipped on my face from his familiar annoying self. "I'm starving."

"Oh, I'll take you." He grabbed me before I could try to move away.

"NO-"

My stomach dropped through the floor and the horrifying speed skidded to a stop almost as fast as we'd left the spot in the hall. I wobbled and shoved off him, covering my mouth. "Oh, fuck."

He chuckled to himself. "You get used to it."

"Don't-" I coughed and bent over with heavy breaths for the nausea. "Do that again and I'll kill you."

As if by some poor and sad chance, a light glowed above me and my journal dropped on my head and then onto the floor.

I looked up in appall with an annoyed frown from Wong before the portal shut again. "Um, excuse me?!"

Pietro stared upwards too. "What was that?"

"Wizards." Bucky's voice stated, making us both look over at where he was enjoying coffee in the kitchen with Sam who was sitting on the counter. "Steve told me."

"Wizards." Sam agreed with an amused smile. "Buck told me."

Bucky looked at him quickly, losing his smile. "Don't call me that."

"We're friends." Sam looked back. "I thought we were friends."

"Not like that."

"Neither of you should know about wizards yet." I shook my head at them, picking up the journal off the floor and trying to pinpoint what was next for Wong to be delivering this to me. "Did SHIELD give you back, James Buchanan Barnes?"

"I hate that more." He deadpanned, "And yes. Sort of. I'm confined to this building."

"He is under house arrest." Pietro informed me, looking over my shoulder as I flipped the book open.

"You won't be able to see the words." Bucky muttered, sipping his coffee with a smug expression. "And this place is bigger than the base camp during the war. I'm doing just fine."

"He's thriving." Sam agreed, getting a frown from the boy behind me. "And yeah, you're not gonna be able to see shit."

"There are no words?" Pietro gave them both a look. "It's only drawings."

"Oh," Bucky laughed with Sam, "There are words."

"Fucking hell," I sighed, walking away from Pietro and into the kitchen in search of a mug for some green tea. "You guys know anything about any Sokovian accords?"

They all shook their heads as I set the journal down to fill a mug with water.

"Maybe it's Dr. Strange." I said to myself, running through the movies around this time. "I'm gonna have to ask Vision. Maybe he knows-"

"Look alive people," Tony invited himself into the room hastily, "We've got meetings with fancy government people…"

He trailed off when he looked in the kitchen and tossed up a hand in annoyance. "Where the hell is everyone?"

"Steve's still got them for morning PT." Bucky shrugged, "Wings and I left. I don't know what the kids are doing."

"I just got here." I defended, "And I don't have to do PT because I'm not an Avenger."

"Says who?" Sam furrowed his brow at me. "You've got the lightning powers."

"Purple Thor without the hammer." Bucky added with a nod, "That's something."

"Hm, no," I shook my head. "Not an avenger. I merely cooperate with you for the greater good."

"So you're our colleague?"

Sam pointed at his friend and then at me. "Which makes you an employee."

"Avenger." Bucky nodded again, sipping his coffee again.

"Friday, can you tell the Iced Americano that we've got a meeting at three that no one told me about until ten minutes ago?" Tony asked his AI, walking into the kitchen too while Pietro stood outside of Bucky's circle of personal space and on the other side of the counter. "Honestly the nerve of these people."

I perked up more at that. "What meeting?"

"Uh, Secretary of state?" Tony poured himself a cup of coffee, "Your photos are on your desk, by the way."

"Secretary of state." I repeated, pulling my mug out of the microwave and dunking in the tea bag. "Why is that familiar?"

"Is that bad?" BUcky asked, getting an affirming nod from Tony.

"Familiarity is always bad with the psychic-to-be."

"No," Sam corrected with a small glare in Tony's direction. "Not always."

"What's the guy's name?" I prodded, flipping through the pages of my journal to try and find it.

"Thaddeus E. Ross." Tony smiled a little. "Who on earth looks at a baby and thinks 'Thaddeus?"

"I would argue Piero is worse." I smirked a little, flipping to the page and then seeing the poorly sketched figure I made.

'Something Ross- Secretary of State

Antagonist in Civil War and presents the accords to the avengers. Sensitive when it comes to topics about the Hulk'

I winced at that and flipped then to the Civil War pages. "Shit."

"That does not sound promising." Pietro muttered, getting annoyed looks from Sam and Bucky.

"No shit."

"We had no idea."

"No, it-" I shook my head and leaned back on the counter. "It's not good. I changed a lot when I first got here. So I'm, uh, worried."

"Can we know anything?" Sam asked, making Tony roll his eyes and start to walk away.

"Yes, actually." I said, getting Tony's attention right back. "This is where…Tony tried to kill Bucky. Some bad guy who was mad about Sokovia showed him the tapes of Bucky killing his parents and Tony learned that Steve knew too. But…obviously things have worked out differently."

"So where's the bad guy now?" Sam inquired further, looking at me with the others. "Does he have another target?"

I opened and shut my mouth before shutting the journal and starting away. "I don't know. No one died. Maybe he's not mad."

"What if he is?" Bucky stopped me with the question. "Does he think Tony doesn't know?"

"It will be easy then." Tony shrugged in approval. "Just watch some dying parents and then dramatically reveal that I stopped caring years ago. We dispose of the bad guy. Problem solved."

"No," I turned around to face them again. "Not problem solved. He's a professional spy and he's rich. He probably knows. And that's if he's mad. If he is, he might have different targets and different victims. All I know is that a mad man means that he blames us. If he's not mad…it's just a bunch of government stuff."

"Well, something is better than nothing." Sam chimed in. "At least we know there's a bad guy."

"I hate this." I shook my hands out and turned away again. "Oh, my god, ew. I'm normal. Why can't villains be easy?"

I retreated back to my room then, only pausing briefly to look into Wanda's room since she was laying on the bed with the TV on. She passed me a look from the bed.

"I thought there was PT."

She shrugged lightly, looking back at the knitting she was doing above her head with red energy keeping it afloat in the air. "I got bored."

"What are you watching?" I dared to peer in, knowing I might be missing valuable time for planning.

"I love Lucy." She glanced down at it right as a memory hit my mind and I gasped pointing at her.

"Was there a mission?!"

She knitted her brows together and shook her head. "Not recently."

"With-with," I grasped at the air for the words before blurting out the first thought that came to mind. "Did you kill anyone recently?"

Wanda sat up at that and gave me a concerned look while prodding at my brain. "Should I have?"

"No, well," I winced, looking down the hall. "Something with Rumlow. Where's he at?"

"I don't…know."

"Are you sure there was no explosion or anything?" I flipped open the journal then. "With, like, Wakanda diplomats and…some sort of bio weapon? You didn't get in any sort of fights?"

She shook her head again. "Lincoln, should I expect something like that?"

"I don't know." I admitted, "I''m pretty sure that was supposed to happen be-before Ross shows up. There was a whole mission or something and, well, Rumlow is supposed to be locked up now but he wasn't before because of the Winter Soldier mess."

"Can I see?" She asked, getting up to touch my head and making me hold out a hand in her direction.

"No, don't touch," I held up a finger, reading through that mission and what happened. "Hold on."

"I can just check?" She stepped closer. "One look at what you are trying to remember. Then I can confirm it didn't happen."

I looked at her suspiciously after getting nothing from the mission statement I made. "One look?"

"One look." She confirmed, holding up a finger and reaching for my head. "Think of what you want me to see."

I bit my tongue before caving and letting her touch my head while I tried to remember watching the scene. Her face fell as she took a step back then, releasing me quickly.

"So?" I asked, taking my tea off her dresser again and holding the journal to my chest.

She shook her head quietly. "That never happened."

I sighed in relief. "Okay, maybe that's a good thing. Rumlow's still in prison, I bet."

"Ah, Lincoln?" Wanda gave me a small smile. "Do I…get to know Vision more? Enough to stand close in an apartment with him in Scotland?"

"Oh, you promised!" I gasped, "You said you wouldn't."

"It was harmless." She looked away with the same embarrassed smile. "Just one look. I saw nothing else."

"You are never allowed in my head again." I pointed at her as I turned to leave. "That was so mean."

"It's my future."

"It's dangerous too." I grumbled to myself, walking away from the room then and getting confirmation from Friday that Rumlow was, in fact, still locked up since Fury and Natasha tracked down all the Hydra operatives in SHIELD.

As soon as I was seated in my room with the tea, I did realize how hungry I was too and had to make a quick run back to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. Then I got to eat that while planning out all the possibilities with Zemo. I had Friday look him up for me too, and after finding out through some illegal info grabbing that lots of his 'family fortune' went down the drain after Sokovia. That and…unfortunately…his wife and son were also casualties due to falling debris that struck their house. There were eight others in the vicinity of the city that died similar to that.

So, after I was done throwing up in the bathroom and shoving the new blood on my hands in a box, I went back to working on possibilities. I didn't particularly love how loud that box was as it yelled at me for not considering debris and being responsible for the death of a ten year old boy. Eventually I got it to quiet down while I buried myself in work to figure out Zemo's plans- considering that he was mad enough about his family to come after us.

I had to assume the worst. That was what I learned in my hours of munching on processed cheese crackers and meditating like it would help me remember the tiny details. After all, how was Zemo going to try to tear us apart? Would he still try to blow up the accords meeting? Was he going to blow something else up and pin it on one of us?

Does he know any other life-changing secrets? I questioned, my leg bouncing off the floor as Friday reminded me again that the meeting was starting soon. "Give me a minute, please?"

"Shall I tell them you aren't attending?"

"No, dammit!" I got up then and stopped to catch myself. "I'm sorry. I'm not snapping at you. I'm going."

"No hard feelings, Lincoln." Friday replied, calm as ever. "I don't experience them."

I left the room then, leaving my goldfish there after debating bringing it with me. "I'm still sorry, Friday. Thanks for the reminder."

"You're welcome."

A seat near by the back was open and I was quick to take that one so I didn't need to be right at the table. It was barely a minute later that Tony showed up too, exactly on time and sat down in the last available chair- the one right beside me. The table was already full and Steve had passed me a small smile when he saw that I was there. Clint did the same, actually chucking a pen my way too that I caught and played with in my hands until Ross entered too to start up his little speech about how regulated avengers wouldn't be a total disaster.

"Five years ago, I had a heart attack. I dropped right in the middle of my back-swing. Turned out it was the best round of my life, because after 13 hours of surgery and a triple bypass . . . I found something 40 years in the Army had never taught me: Perspective."

Secretary Ross was rambling in front of us at the table while I just stared at the pen Clint had tossed me. "The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives . . . but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some . . . who would prefer the word 'vigilantes'."

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Natasha asked, chiming in first.

The footage was what I worried about the most. Without Wanda's incident, I wondered what else they'd throw up there other than Harlem and New York. You know, unless that and DC was all they needed. Maybe that would be it.

"How about 'dangerous'?" Ross challenged easily, "What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?"

Unconcerned? I mentally scoffed at the idea. Does he think they're robots?

"New York…"

Footage from the Chitauri attack played on the screen. I could hear the screams of the civilians echoing not only in the room, but also in my own head.

I was there. I took a quiet shaky breath, not looking at the screen and leaning back in the chair. I was falling.

Tony took the pen from my hands and clicked it on my head, briefly distracting me from the next group of footage.

"The Mandarin."

I snatched the pen back before any memory of explosions and injuries grabbed at my brain with a few boxes grasping for my attention.

"Sokovia.."

I saw more screaming citizens as they ran from the floating city. Why didn't I think about falling debris? What kind of monster walks away from that? What kind of monster walks away from a ten year old boy? Not to mention my best friend-

"There were no casualties in Sokovia." Steve accused, "SHIELD made sure of it."

"There were ten casualties." I corrected quietly, getting looks from everyone in the room and a partially shocked one from Ross. "From falling debris. Not to mention TC."

"And the billions in property damage." Ross added, not skipping a beat over us and the newly uncomfortable looks from the other avengers as they realized that one of their wins wasn't really all that great. "What about the thousands of people who are still homeless to this day because of that incident, Rogers? They're alive, maybe, but they're certainly not satisfied with your service."

He fell silent at that, having Wanda look in his direction like he said something before she tilted herself…like she agreed.

"And, of course, the secret weapon of the Avengers," Ross looked directly at me, clicking a button for a screen. "With what some people would describe as god-like power and consistently covered up. Cover-ups tend to make people nervous and you're not exactly a clean slate yourself, Lincoln."

I watched the screen for only a moment, enough to see the screams of people in the cafeteria as I fought two SHIELD agents and zapped them both. I tried to forget that a while ago, so the memory of friends that made me finally feel normal did not come easy.

My eyes turned away with a quick breath filling my lungs when the sound of my own screams from hydra filled the room. Winnie's laughing rang in my ear too as he kicked at the box and teared at the tape. A dead man crossed my vision with the smell of burnt human flesh stinging my nose before I could cover my ears with my hands.

"That's enough." Steve ordered quickly, getting a short look from Ross before the man clicked the button again to turn it off.

My skin prickled and I bit my lip, bile rising in my throat as I closed my eyes then to get a better look at the boxes.

Shhhh. I hushed them. Everyone shut up.

A hand was placed on my back then as I had to keep kicking at Winnie to get him got go back in his box. I promptly filled my thoughts with how my mission went with Scott. The criminal friends were a great distraction after I managed to quiet the boxes again and get that awful smell out of my nose.

"For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision." Ross continued as if he wasn't the most obnoxiously careless person in the room right now. "That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution."

He dropped the Sokovia Accords on the table and those seated up there passed it around.

Remember when Dave tried to make waffles while high and accidentally poured in salt instead of sugar? I forced forwards the memory. Wasn't that funny? Gross, but funny? Right? Right?

"The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries . . . it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary-"

I opened my eyes, back in the room in my head with a better visual on the state of the boxes as many of them were rotting through the bottom.

"Lincoln?"

I took a deep breath at that and turned back to the door. "Later. I'm busy."

"Link?" Tony got me to open my eyes, couching in front of me. "You alright?"

I looked up at the others noticing Ross's expectant stare and then looking back at Tony quickly. "Uh, sorry."

"Feeling okay?" He asked, getting up when I did.

"I'm fine." I turned away from him quickly. "Everything's fine. I need air."