I'm gonna save the AN for the end, but I'll warn you it's gonna be pretty long...

Oh, and if you're not interested in makeup, you can skip the first paragraph!

*Trigger Warning for references to abuse*

It is a long process to put on all my makeup. I have to look perfect, or father gets upset. I pull out the foundation first and coat my face, the cream cool against my warm skin. Next is concealer, to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. They've been there since my birth, but father says they look bad. I swipe a line under my eyes and blend it in. Next is the clear powder, to make sure the creams don't smear or crease. Next is the eyeliner. I swipe it across my lashlines and waterlines. Mascara and blush are last.

Father taught me to apply the makeup. I don't know where he learned it, as I am too afraid to ask. I put all the makeup away and close the suitcase. I walk back upstairs and put it away. When I return to the main room, Father is standing there waiting for me.

"Sit." He gestures to one of the chairs. I quietly sit and he walks up behind me. He undoes my braid and picks up a brush that he had sitting on the table. With slow, deliberate strokes he undoes the tangles in my hair. The rhythm at which he moves the brush relaxes me and I let my thoughts wander. I still remember when he gave me the makeup. It confused me because I knew that makeup was against the rules. Makeup draws too much attention to ourselves; it is self-serving. I asked my father where he got the makeup but his response was only:

"As a councilman, I have my connections. Now, stop asking questions. You're beginning to sound like a Erudite."

I knew better than to disobey, so I just watched silently as he showed how to apply the makeup.

"There. Done." I blink in surprise. I forgot Father was doing my hair. I reach back and feel what he has done with my hair. A tight french braid. Plain, but slightly more elegant than a standard braid. Of course, the whole purpose of this is to show off. Father must have the best. It's not enough that I'm beating all of the Erudites in my classes. I also have to be a doll. I have to be so eye-catching that I overshadow everyone else. And still pretend that I don't exist, that the girls in my class don't mutter when they think I can't hear, that the boys in my class don't stare as I walk by.

"Now," Father says as he makes his way in front of me, "you remember how you are supposed to act, correct?"

"Yes Father." I nod, "Don't speak unless first spoken to, always smile, and serve others." Father smiles.

"That's my girl." He leans down and I can feel myself stiffen as he kisses my cheek.

"This meeting means a lot to me, okay?" He asks, his mouth moving down to my neck. One of his hands comes up and cradles my jaw. I immediately let my mind sink into blissful oblivion as I always do when he does this. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. Father quickly straightens back up and makes his way to the door. I quickly run my hand along the side of my face and neck feeling for anything. I wipe them away and straighten in my seat, taking a deep breath. I stand up and make my way to stand beside my father to welcome the guests. Father opens the door. Standing on the steps are the Fraiths.

"Marcus," Stewart, the father, starts to say, "the others send their apologies, but they cannot make it tonight."

Father merely smiles.

"Stewart, I'm sorry to hear that but please come in. I'm glad you brought your family."

Father and Stewart make their way to the seats in the main room with Mary, Stewart's wife, close behind. William, their only son, stays back with me. I start to make my way to the kitchen when I realize that William is following me.

"William, I'm fair certain they're planning on meeting in the main room. I'm merely going to get water."

William merely smiles as he continues to walk up to me.

"Might I help you? I won't be needed by the adults."

"Oh, there won't be anything you need to do. Thank you for the offer, but as a guest you should just relax."

"Well," he says while chuckling lightly, "if you don't need help, then might I at least keep you company?"

He offers a sweet smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. I know William's feelings. He likes me as more than a friend. I am also aware that our parent's plan for us to be wed after our selection and initiation.

I allow myself a moment to ponder that life. William would not be a bad husband, in fact he would make a great Abnegation husband. He is selfless without a second thought. He is almost too kind, too trusting. I could choose Abnegation. I could choose this life. I could marry William, live just down the road from my current home. We would have two calm, well-behaved children just like almost every other family. Everything would be the same monotonous process. It wouldn't be bad. But I can't

I have to leave. If I stayed, I would still be within Marcus's grasp. To find me, he would just have to go down the road. As a council member, he has sway and would just have to ask William to leave for a moment and then everything would be just as it is now. Marcus could continue to do whatever he wants. I can't stay.

"Of course William. That is very kind of you," I reply with a smile of my own. William's face glows and he nods, following me into the kitchen.

A/N:

Well... So it's been a while...

Sorry about that...

Really, the real reason I'm back is user Lemontomato. Huge thanks to Lemontomato. They Pm'd me and that gave me so much encouragement to me. I was in a bit of a slump as I had been experiencing a major case of writer's block, and had honestly just been under the impression that nobody really cared whether the story continued. I just want to say, leaving reviews and PMing the writers is great and very encouraging, and never feel like you shouldn't. I will try to be better about updating and writing, and I've changed my username as a way to get a fresh start. Thank you for your support!

Stay Fierce

ChildOfLupus