I must have fallen asleep at some point, though I can hardly call it a restful sleep. It was full of the smell of iron and screaming that still faintly echoes as I fully come to consciousness. The smell of iron is slowly replaced by the lingering smell of the cleaners that were used on the floor last night, but the screaming and crying still echo, somehow quieter and yet managing to cut through the sound of the others rising and getting ready to do who knows what. It is the break between stages of initiation, and after the events of last night, we are likely to be advised to take the day easy. Some have changed but stay laying in their beds, others are making their way out of the dormitory, maybe to breakfast.

Sitting up slowly, I roll my shoulders before stretching. A glance to the side, Peter's bed is empty and looking over to Drew's and Molly's shows the same. And I am unsure what to feel at that. As angry as I was last night, at the insinuations of what Eric said, there was at least a small amount of truth to the accusation. While I wouldn't say we are friends, Peter is one of the initiates that I found myself speaking to more regularly, someone I interacted with by choice. Even though I knew there was something dangerous and ambitious at the core of his actions, I wanted to overlook it for those moments where Peter become something else. In the moments where he was just a boy trying his best. In the moments where we could just laugh and forget that this is all some over glorified competition just to belong.

Do I want Peter gone? Even after what happened last night? If I say no, am I just as much of a monster as he is? Am I the monster Four warned me against?

I can feel the pressure and pain building behind my eyes and at my temples, pulsing the longer I sit here and just ponder. A nausea grows in my stomach and I turn to plant my feet on the floor and stand, rifling through my clothes and picking an outfit and getting changed as quickly as possible. Throwing my hair up as I leave the room, I pause once I'm in the hallway, unsure what to do, where to go. There aren't really that many options, but none of them are appealing at the moment. I could go sit in the dinning hall, risking questions and speaking. I could go train, but I wonder if that is where Peter and his cronies are and I can't face that. That is also where I know Four and Eric would both look for me. I could try running around the Pit, or even trying to reach the rooftop for a run. I think I could remember the way, but the same reasoning leads me to wandering to the dinning hall with the intention of only grabbing some food and leaving. Upon entering, there is a subdued and somber air filling the whole room. I grab a few muffins and pastries, wrapping them in some napkins and make my way back out, not speaking or acknowledging anyone else in the room. Instead I begin to make my way to the infirmary, deciding to check on Edward is the only option that makes sense for the time being.

A small voice whispers that I shouldn't go. That it is only asking for pain, only asking to relive it all. That I should hide. That I should just pretend it never happened. But more consuming is the thought of Edward, sitting with just Myra after what may be the most traumatizing event of his life. The day after he found out he was on top, he is sitting in a bed, one eye gone, face a mess, pain likely filling his whole body. And I can't bring myself to leave him like that. And I can't let Myra be there with him alone. Not now.

The walk goes by quickly, and when I reach the doors of the infirmary, I am again filled with doubt. I just stand there silent, staring at the doors. As calm and collected as I managed to be last night, I can't bring myself to move. If I walk through that door, it's all real. It all happened. I can't just deny it; I can't just move on. And as ridiculous as the fear is, it locks me in place. Keeps me standing here with food in my trembling hands as a shaky breath slowly erupts from my chest. Closing my eyes, I suck in a sharp inhale, swallowing what little saliva I have in my mouth, fighting will all my might to take the first step.

Pushing open the door, I glance around the room at the various beds, seeing a curtain at the back. A nurse is sitting at a desk near the door, and I make my way to him. He looks over, a quick acknowledgment of my presence before he returns to typing on a computer.

"He's at the back behind the curtain. Just take care to stay quiet. He may be resting."

"Thank you." It's so quiet I'm not even sure he hears me. But he turns, his expression softer this time, and gives a small nod.

When I get past the curtain, I find Edward sitting up in his bed, though he is leaning back slightly. The bandaging covers nearly half of his head. He has bruising over nearly all the visible portions of the lower half of his face, his mouth swollen slightly. His eye is closed, but at the sound of my approach, it slowly drags open. He simply blinks a few times, seemingly trying to focus before he recognizes my face. His mouth pulls into a small smile, but he winces at the movement.

There is a small tray on the far side of his bed that has some napkins and cups and I make my way over and place the food I have down.

"Hey," I say as I walk around, unsure of what else to say. I glance over at him, and just now notice Myra sitting in a chair that was tucked between the bed and the privacy curtain. Her knees are pulled up and her chin is nestled on them, arms wrapped around her legs. Edward glances over at her as well and smiles softly, wincing again at the movement. I take a seat near the tray, doing what I can to stay quiet so as not to wake Myra. Edward turns back to me, but doesn't say anything. I am second guessing my choice to come here, unsure of what to say, what to do.

"Sorry for waking you," is all I manage to come up with.

"No worries," he responds easily. "How are the others doing?"

There is a slight slur to his words, and I look at the IV port in his hand. It would make sense he's on some pain medication. He glances down at it, lifting his hand after a second.

"This is the only reason I'm able to sleep at all. My next dose is probably coming up soon, so I wasn't sleeping well anyways."

I offer a tight nod.

"I'm sure you can guess how everyone is. Has anyone else stopped by?"

He shakes his head, lips tightening and the small smile looks almost apologetic. He's truly been alone with only Myra since he's been awake. And while I know that the two of them are close, that they care for one another, there is something so sad, something so hollow about knowing that the two of them have been alone.

"Well," I try and find some excuse, some reasoning to make it seem less desperate a situation, "I know many of the others are just now waking up and getting food. Some of them might come by later."

Edward's face softens slightly, head tilting slightly, almost like a puppy. A small snort shakes his shoulders and the movement causes another small wince but he recovers quickly.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I doubt it. I mean, it's not like any of the others have ever really talked to me before this moment. None of us are that close. Honestly, a part of me is surprised you came."

By the end, his voice is quiet and he has turned to stare at his hands, clasped in his lap. There is a lump in my throat, and I nearly can't swallow the saliva turns acrid in my mouth. I can't even argue with him, none of us initiates are close. We can't afford to be. I myself was of the attitude that I needed to keep the others as distant as possible. I prided myself for the first week that I didn't really engage with anyone, told myself I was doing what I needed to protect myself. And it is so incredibly distressing, especially in this moment. Edward's expression is more apologetic when he looks up and meets my eyes. I feel myself flinch, unable to stop it, glancing at my shoes. After what he said, I can't bring myself to look back.

"I appreciate what you did last night. You didn't have to."

"Yes I did." I don't know how my voice manages to sound as steady as it does. "I wasn't going to leave you to face that alone. You're right. None of us are close. But I couldn't just leave you to do that. We may not be friends, but you've had my back despite my…" I can't find the right word. Edward simply waits, letting me collect my thoughts. "Despite my isolationist approach. If nothing else, I owed you."

I finally look up, and Edward's eye is wide. His mouth hangs open ever so slightly, but closes quickly, jaw clenching, then relaxing.

"Thank you Kat."

I shift in my seat, if nothing else than to distract myself from the situation as a whole. I'm not sure I've ever had a conversation like this before, one so charged and yet with nothing really to lose. Neither of us is angry, neither of us is holding anything over the other. It's a soft and simple moment.

The nurse from the front comes around the corner, a syringe in his hand. He offers a smile to Edward and I, glancing at Myra who is still sleeping in her chair. Edward smiles back, settling further back against the bed which is set at an incline so it is somewhere between a bed and a chair.

"I've got your next dose of medicine if you'd like it."

"Yes please," Edward says with a small smile.

The nurse comes forward and places the syringe into the port in his hand. Edward has his eye closed, nearly restful if you could ignore the bandage around his head, the real reason he's here. The nurse slowly empties the syringe and the relief Edward feels is visible as his shoulders sink even further away from his ears and he leans further into the bed behind him.

"Just to let you know, this is likely your last dose of pain medicine. Let me know if you need anything else." The nurse offers a nod and turns and leaves, heading back around the curtain. Myra shifts in her sleep and Edward opens his eye, but she settles quickly back into sleep. Edward looks back at me, his eye continuing to droop slightly as the sedation of the pain medicine kick in. He continues to slowly blink his eye back open and a small exhale comes from my nose. The way he is fighting to stay awake is almost endearing.

"Go to sleep Edward. You could use it."

He smiles, eye closing. His voice is quiet when he speaks again.

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

For a fraction of a second we aren't in the infirmary. Edward isn't sitting on a bed and it isn't a clean white bandage in front of his eye socket. Even though my jaw isn't clenched, a tightness sets in my jaw. I blink a few times and it almost flickers between images. My pause seems to catch Edward's attention as he cracks his eye back open.

"Kat?"

His voice is so small. He's so young. We're all so young.

A quick glance back over at Myra and it hurts even more.

We're too young. We're too small. We don't deserve this.

"Kat?"

"I'll still be here Edward. I promise."

Looking back, his eye is wider open despite the medicine. And for a moment I wonder if he is going to ask about what happened. But instead he settles back down and shuts his eye.

"Thank you."

Even I manage to settle down enough to snooze for a bit, leaning back in my chair with arms crossed. My neck is aching as I wake up, my chin tucked to my chest. I uncross my legs and shuffle in the chair, shifting my weight as I realize the footsteps that woke my up in the first place, heavy boots walking with loud steps quickly approaching. A quick glance from the edge of the privacy to curtain and Edward and Myra, both of them waking up though Edward still seems rather groggy. I'm not entirely sure how long has passed since I got here. Edward looks at me, eye wide and face pinched.

Eric, Max, and Four all come around the curtain. Max leads, hands loose at his sides. Eric is just behind him, expression closed yet somehow still aloof, head tilted slightly. Four is farther behind, arms crossed and expression stormy. His brows are furrowed and mouth pinched and downturned and just looking at him I realize this isn't a kind visit.

Max stops at the foot of Edward's bed, glancing between all three of us. When Eric first comes around the curtain, he is looking between Edward and Myra, but when he sees me his eyes widen for a fraction of a second and there is almost a falter to his step as he goes to stand next to Max, on the same side as Myra who looks both confused and terrified. Four comes nearer to me, looking at me as his jaw clenches visibly, muscles flexing at the side.

"How are you, initiate?" Max's voice is loud, even when just at a speaking level. While he acts conversational, his tone is somehow still demanding and suffocating.

"I've been better," Edward replies with a light shrug of his shoulders. And my mind is blank for a moment, shocked at his words and the light way he says them. I almost laugh, if not for the tightness in my chest that makes it hard to breathe. Max's mouth lifts into a smirk, not quite a smile, but Eric's face darkens slightly.

"Understandable. Unfortunately there are a few important matters to discuss. I would advise these be discussed in private, though ultimately the choice is yours." Max spares Myra and I a glance before turning his attention back to Edward who is still trying to blink the grogginess from his eye. I look at Myra. She is looking quickly between Max and Edward, unsure of what is happening or what to do. I can't help but wonder if she could make it anywhere without Edward or someone else to guide her at all times. She buckles so quickly under pressure. Did she even really test into Dauntless? Or did she simply follow Edward?

"I'd like Myra to stay." Edward speaks slowly, all eyes on him. "But I'm not going to tell Kat what to do. She can stay if she likes. She can go. That's up to her." He turns to me as he speaks. Looking at him, seeing the pallor of his skin, I realize he must be terrified, having two of the leaders of Dauntless and the head of our initiation in his room wishing to speak in private. Everything is happening so quickly. But he is giving me a choice, and I don't know what choice is best. While a part of me wants to stay and support him, another part of me has to wonder if that would make things worse. If it would be too overwhelming. If it's overstepping.

I turn to Four, wanting some hint of what he would advise. I see Max looking at me in my periphery. Four is looking at Edward at first, but seeing me move, he looks to me. He doesn't say anything, barely moving at all. I see his jaw flex and he takes a deep breath.

So this is not going to be anything remotely close to decent. Whatever that may mean.

Eric is staring, much like Max. But as I continue to look at Four, decoding his expressions, Eric turns his head completely. He is turned toward the curtain. Petulant. Just like yesterday. I'm still angry. But that is not the focus for now.

Standing slowly, my body arguing against the movement after sitting still for so long, I turn to Edward. I want my expression to be encouraging, or at least stable. But I'm not sure if it works, or what even to try to do to come across as such. Instead I just approach slightly, a hand outstretched like for a handshake. He seems confused for a moment before resting his hand against mine, palms touching. I shift my hand back, curling our fingers into opposed hooks, pulling my hand further until it is out of his grasp. Curling my hand into a fist, I give a final fist bump.

"I'll give you some privacy. But I'll be just outside if you need anything. I can come in at the end if you'd like. Or if you want privacy, just have them let me know."

He nods, a tight smile pasted on his face. I turn and offer a short nod to Myra who shakily copies the motion. Turning to leave, I offer nods to Four and Max, who each return the action. Eric turns back as I start to leave, but I ignore his gaze choosing to simply leave and stand outside. I lean against the wall, arms crossed, head tilted back to rest against the wall. Yet another moment of déjà vu, an echo of last night and this time I am filled with nearly as much fear and nervousness for what is happening within the doors.

I realize the issue with my choice, coming to realize that I am not sure how long I am going to be waiting out here. I'm stuck with nothing but my thoughts as I stand against the wall. Closing my eyes against the interior lights of the hall, I take a deep breath to try and break the tightness that feels like it is restricting my chest ever tighter by the minute. It doesn't work. The faces of Max, Eric, and Four flash before my closed eyes. There is no way the conversation is going to be good news. Eric himself told me yesterday it would be unlikely for Peter to face punishment for what happened. Instead we all have to pretend everything is normal. We have to pretend none of this happened.

We're too young for this.

I thought I escaped the monsters.

You can't trust anyone in leadership here.

You can't trust anyone in leadership anywhere.

You can't trust anyone.

I don't want to be alone. I can't do this alone.

Edward's words from last night echo louder than Four's. His thrashing on the floor, hand on my wrist.

Thank you.

Myra's whispered words. Her trembling form held loosely in my arms as she heads into the infirmary.

I can't push them all away. I can't make that sort of judgement. There are good people. But Eric's actions from last night, Peter's actions, have me standing on unstable ground. I don't know what to believe. Because despite it all, a part of me refuses to let go of the softer images I have of both of them. Unlike Father, there were glimpses of something soft, something kind.

I'm so very tired.

I feel it so far down, almost ingrained with my being. A heaviness in my very bones, extending to the tips of my fingers and toes. A desire to sink to the ground and rest. A desire to stay there for ages, for eternity. A desire to refuse to face the future. I give in, partially. Allowing my knees to go weak, I slowly lower to the ground, drawing my knees in front of me. There is a burning behind my eyes, but I don't have the energy to cry. Instead my eyes just continue to burn as I close them again, resting my chins on my knees.

The door to the infirmary opens and Max, Eric, and Four all come out. Their expressions are almost identical to how they entered, my stomach dropping even further. I quickly stand, coming to my full height just as they notice me.

"Ah, you're name is Kat, is it not?" Max asks, extending a hand towards me. Four seems mildly surprised, turning to the leader with his arms falling to his sides from where they were crossed in front of him. I find myself just as surprised. There is a moment of pride being known by the head of the faction, but another part of me is apprehensive following the events and conflicted feelings of the last 24 hours. Regardless, I grasp his hand and try to match the strong grip he has. It isn't even close to his bone crushing strength, but my forearms flex at the effort and he laughs at the effort.

"Glad to see you've got some force. I've heard promising things about you. One of the tops of this initiate group, isn't that right you two?" He turns to both Eric and Four.

Eric, who has up until this point refused to look at me, looks at Max before finally looking at me. Expression still shuttered, he offers a tight nod.

"She's third. Well, second now."

Four only offers a nod, but that is not what has my attention. An icy chill drips down my spine.

"What do you mean 'second now'?" I glance between all three when I ask. Four refuses to look back at me, instead dropping his gaze to the floor. Eric and Max don't have much of a reaction, Max's expression falling back to something neutral.

"I'm sure it would be better coming from them. The boy said you are welcome back in."

There is silence for a moment, Max and I looking at one another. While I am just trying to understand the situation, trying to piece together what they could possibly mean, Max's expression is more appraising. Measuring me. I know I need to respond, but at the same time I am terrified to enter the infirmary.

"Thank you, sir." I respond with a nod. He gives one in turn, looking appeased.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Kat." Turning, Max walks away. Four and Eric both hesitate. Eric looks at me, but Four is watching Eric. Four's face turns sour as Eric continues to wait.

"Eric?" Four doesn't say anything else, but the remainder of the question is obvious.

"I need to speak to the initiate for a moment Four. Go on ahead, Max will be waiting." Eric doesn't look at Four as he speaks. Not until Four opens his mouth to respond. Eric turns to face Four at that point, face twisted, mouth curled nearly into a snarl. Four glances at me, waiting for my response. I simply watch Eric for a moment, trying to decide. Quite frankly, I don't want to talk to him. But at the same time, the best option would be to let him say what he needs otherwise he won't let the topic drop. And yet another even smaller part of me hopes that he might have some sort of explanation. I give Four a quick nod. He turns more towards me, brows turned up, eyes uncertain. I give a tight-lipped smile and yet another nod. He hesitates just a moment longer before walking away, pausing to glance over his shoulder one final time before turning a corner and disappearing from sight.

Eric doesn't say anything, only watching for a while, long enough for Four's echoing footsteps to disappear. Now that it is just the two of us, his posture falls somewhat from the confident strut he had before, falling into something more subdued and it looks somewhat abnormal on Eric. If I didn't know better, I would almost describe him as being nervous.

"Kat," when he speaks his voice is quiet, "I wanted to apologize."

He doesn't meet my eyes when he says it. But he sounds timid, voice small. I wait, unsure if he has anything else to say. When I don't answer, he glances at my face quickly before letting out a quick huff.

"I was out of line with what I said. You didn't deserve that. And your points were fair, I had told you to try and make friends. You should be making friends. Last night was a charged moment, and I was out of line for what I said and the way I handled the situation. And I am sorry that you feel unsafe."

"I never said I felt unsafe." For some reason, that is the only thought I can form. He looks at me finally, meeting my eyes.

"Alright, then I am sorry that you feel that the situation is bad enough to compare to what you left behind. I don't want to imply I know what that was, but I assume it was bad. I don't want you to think this is the same. Even if you don't feel unsafe, I want you to know that you're safe here."

I simultaneously feel nothing, but also want to laugh at the statement. Because here he is apologizing, but in the same breath is telling me to feel safe? To trust him with my wellbeing? After last night? But at the same time, there is sincerity in his eyes. He genuinely means what he is saying.

"I appreciate the apology Eric." Trying to collect my thoughts, I glance away. "I will admit, I am still angry. I am still hurt. And I believe that I am justified in that. I did not deserve your comments. But I appreciate what you have said."

Looking back, there is some relief on Eric's face. There is also still strain. But he seems appeased at least, willing to accept my response with some semblance of respect. He takes a step towards me, projecting his actions clearly, allowing me to step away if I choose. I allow him to come closer, curious as to what he will do. As angry as I am, as hurt as I feel, I do not think Eric would ever raise a hand against me. At least, not his own, the leadership have other methods for that from what I've gathered thus far. He puts his hand gently on my shoulder, giving a light squeeze and a weak smile.

"Go check on your friend. He and the girl will need you."

Eric lets go of my shoulder and turns, striding off without another word or glance. I can still feel the warmth of his hand on my shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the door, then into the infirmary. Immediately I can hear soft crying and my heart drops through my stomach, absolute dread I had not realized I would hear at the sound. I find myself running to where Edward is, ignoring the reprimand of the nurse. Rounding the curtain, Myra is sitting on the bed, Edward holding her as she sobs. His eye is wide, expression concerningly blank. He isn't really doing anything other than just holding Myra, arms not moving to offer comfort, no words coming from his mouth. He turns when he hears me and I nearly flinch at the emptiness behind his eye.

"We're leaving." His voice is so hollow and so tired.

"What?"

"I can't be here. I can't stay. I wouldn't make it anyways. If I took the time to let this recover, I wouldn't make it through initiation. I'd never make it. Myra is getting cut. At least," his voice catches at this point, "at least like this, we'll have each other."

The decision is logical, but so remarkably unfair. But looking at the two on the bed, already grieving, I know they are making the best choice they can. The best choice, giving up everything, going to be factionless.

"When?" It's the only response I can find. Edward lets out a weak laugh, almost manic sounding.

"Now. Four, Max, and Eric are going to strip our bunks and bring our stuff to the tracks. We're to meet them there."

Myra lets out a louder sob. Edward is now staring forward at the curtain, not really seeing. My mouth falls open. I'm breathing, but I feel like I'm suffocating. The oxygen isn't reaching my lungs. The warmth of the room has left my body. Myra is quieting down, probably too tired to cry much longer. Edward is empty.

They're so young.

They're too young.

There is a burning behind my eyes again, and my vision blurs. I rub the heels of my hands against my eyes quickly. They don't deserve this, but if nothing else, I have to hold it together. I will not send them off with a teary face as their last memory here. Edward takes a deep breath, sounding far older than he is, before giving Myra a squeeze and going to stand. She follows, clinging to him like a lifeline. At this point, he basically is.

They're so young.

They're too young.

Edward turns to me with what feels like the hundredth tight smile I have seen today, plastered on a face that is barely holding it together.

"I'll see you off." My voice is unsteady, but Edward's smile warms just a touch and he gives a nod. I step aside, letting Edward lead Myra ahead of me.

As we pass the nurse, he offers a nod, face unreadable.

"Thanks," Edward offers with a small nod.

"Remove the bandages in a few days. If you can, rewrap them, but otherwise just try and keep it as clean as you can."

Edward nods again before heading out the door. The nurse turns and offers me another nod which I return. Edward is moving fairly quickly, almost dragging Myra. We start approaching the Pit, having to pass through to get to the stairwell to reach the train. Eric steps out from a hall, startling all of us. Myra lets out a quiet whimper. Eric glances at me over Edward's shoulder but he quickly focuses back to Edward.

"Follow me. You won't have to go through the Pit, so there won't be any questions."

Without waiting to see if we are following he turns and strides down the hallway. There is a pause for a moment, as if seeing Eric has truly made the reality sink in. Myra is trembling again slightly and Edward's face has paled even further. Taking a step forward, I gently rest my hand on his shoulder. He jolts, turning to me with a wide eye.

"Come on, before we lose him." I try to keep my voice gentle, but I'm not sure it works. Not in a situation like this. Regardless, he shakes his head slightly and then guides Myra into moving. Eric has paused at the end of the hall, lights dim now and I think the sun may be setting but the interior lights haven't fully kicked in. Granted, some of these side hallways seem to stay somewhat dark at all times. The low light still catches on the piercings littered across Eric's face and ears, more noticeable than the dark clothes that nearly conceal him.

He leads us through several winding halls, several of which I don't think I have ever seen before. Myra has settled in the time that has passed. She has returned to clinging silently to Edward's arm as he guides her along. Finally, we reach a door and Eric holds it open for us to pass through, leading to the stairwell. Edward leads Myra through, not pausing but continuing straight up the stairwell. As I go to follow, Eric places a hand on my shoulder.

"I think you've done you dues, initiate. They should be fine." His voice is gentle as he speaks this time. Edward and Myra have stopped now, both looking back. Myra's eyes are empty. She is barely hanging on, just walking without any thought. I don't know that she can even be considered conscious. Meeting Edward's gaze, there is a moment of pure panic. He has held it together so well, for so long. But he's breaking.

They're so young.

They're too young.

Turning to Eric, my eyes are burning again. But I try to keep some semblance of control over whatever is raging in my chest and stomach. I doubt it is that effective, but if for no one else, I have to try and pull together for Edward.

"I'm seeing them off. Please Eric. Let us have this. Let them have a friendly face to send them off." Despite my efforts, my voice is unsteady and there is a catch to my words. Eric simply stares back for a minute. Glancing over at Edward and Myra who are paused on the stairs. Glancing back, he closes his eyes with a sigh.

"If Max says for you to come back into the compound, his word is final."

"Thank you," I sound almost reverent. My body crumpling in relief for a moment. I turn to the stairs and follow Myra and Edward, looking at Edward as he turns and continues leading Myra. Reaching the top, Edward pauses, waiting for me to catch up. He turns, switching Myra into my arms for a moment with quiet words whispered to her that I cannot hear. She doesn't fight the switch and I try and give her shoulders a light squeeze. Edward turns to the door and pushes it open against the force of the wind that is blowing across the rooftop. He holds the door as I lead Myra through, taking slow steps to ensure she doesn't stumble. Eric follows with a nod to Edward whose expression is now stony.

I was right, the sun is starting to set. The entire sky is awash with crimson and orange. It's beautiful. Max and Four stand near the edge, a backpack at each of their feet. Seeing me, Four's eyes widen and his mouth opens slightly before he schools his expression back to something akin to indifference. Eric makes his way past us to join Four and Max.

Myra is trembling again, but a glance at her face shows no real change. She isn't really here at the moment. Looking over my shoulder, I watch Edward come around, his eye staring at the sky for a moment, just taking in the sight. Eventually he turns to look at me, taking Myra back gently. His eye is watery, red-rimmed. His jaw is tense, looking painful. Without a word he continues to the leaders at the edge. I follow several steps behind. Edward comes to a stop standing across from Max, near the edge.

"I'm sorry it had to happen this way initiate." Max's voice cuts through the wind easily. He leans down and picks up the backpack at his feet. He extends it to Edward, who only stares at it for a moment. Four copies the action, extending his backpack to Myra. Edward finally takes the one from Max, slinging it over his shoulder before taking the one from Four and coaxing Myra to put her arms through the straps. She doesn't really react, just continuing to tremble. Max stares at her, his expression becoming more perturbed, almost disgusted by the terrified girl.

"The train should be here in a minute." Max's tone is detached. He looks at me for a moment, brows furrowing momentarily, before turning to the tracks. Four and Eric do the same, watching in the distance for the train. We should be able to feel the rumbling before we can see it.

Taking steps forward now, I approach Edward and Myra. My eyes are fully teary now, burning in my eyes and nose. Edward turns to me, a smile barely holding to his face, his lips twitching with the effort. Myra has something in her eyes now. I wouldn't call it lucidity, but it seems she's at least aware now, not fully detached from the situation if just for a moment. I place both hands on her shoulders and Edward lets go of her, taking a step back. She looks up at me and lets out a whimper, barely audible over the wind. I pull her to me, wrapping my arms around her slight frame. The trembling becomes more violent and I can feel a dampness on my shoulder where her face is pressed. I squeeze tighter, just holding her.

"Hold onto each other. You're strong. If anyone can manage this, it's the two of you."

The sentiments feel hollow but I don't know what else to say. She goes nearly limp in my hold for a bit. Eventually, she takes a few heaving breaths, bringing herself under control. Swallowing thickly, she pulls back and stands back, shoulders somewhat high and there is a new sense of lucidity to her expression. Looking at Edward, he seems somewhat relieved at the clarity in her eyes. He looks back at me, the smile somewhat more sincere.

When I reach out, he meets me halfway, pulling me to him, catching me off guard. His embrace is almost crushing and I try and return the force.

"I'm so sorry Edward," is all I bring myself to say. There is a light hiccup in my ear, and small tremor runs through his body, muscles all tensed to a near painful degree. He presses his face into my shoulder, much like Myra did, turning the fabric of my shirt even more wet. I can do nothing but hold him for this moment as he allows himself to fall apart. Much like Myra, after a pause he takes a shaky breath before pulling back, but he keeps his hands on my shoulders. We can feel the rumbling now, and the grief I can feel building in my gut is covered by dread. It's too soon.

"Thank you Kat." He sounds so sincere, so sweet, so kind.

So young.

A part of me breaks. Fragmenting beyond repair. And I think when the two of them go, despite my efforts to keep my distance, to stay detached, a part of me will go with them.

"Of course Edward. I only wish I could do more."

The train is visible now. Max shouts something at us, but I can't quite make out the words. Edward glances at the approaching train and takes a breath, turning back to stare at the sky before extending a hand to Myra. She stares at it for a breath before taking it and the two of them approach the edge, waiting a few steps away from the leaders and Four. As the train gets close, I cup my hands around my mouth, shouting to be heard over the wind and train.

"Edward! Myra!"

The two turn to look at me, as do the other three. I just stare for a moment, trying to ingrain the image of the two, standing on the edge, the sunset like fire behind them and the wind whipping their hair. They look almost divine.

"Be brave."

I know I don't say it nearly loud enough, but Edward stares blankly for a moment before his expression melts into something warm, brow tilting up and mouth curling up slightly. Myra's is something similar and they both nod before turning back as the train arrives and the two turn and begin running along the edge, hand in hand. As they near the corner of the roof, they both leap. The last we see of them is Edward pulling Myra fully into the train cart. Then they're gone.

Without pause, I turn and make my way to the door down into the compound. Halfway down the stairs, I hear the door open behind me and quick steps approach.

"Kat!"

I don't pause until I get to the bottom, turning around as Four reaches me. He pauses at the bottom, looking all across my face, at the tears that slowly track down my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" The concern in his voice and on his face is endearing.

"No, but I will be. I have to be." This isn't the answer he wants, clearly. He winces.

"You don't have to be okay Kat." He takes a step closer, moving slowly. Everyone seems to be moving slowly around me lately. It's like a wild animal. But I guess the concern is warranted. He pulls me gently into his shoulder, much like I did to Myra just moments ago. He doesn't say anything as my breathing is shaky and unsteady.

The door at the top of the steps opens and he lets go and I step back. We look at each other, and Four reaches up suddenly, ruffling my hair. It's not something he has ever done before, but it somehow manages to soothe some ache in the back of my chest. I give what feels like a weak smile before turning to leave the stairwell. I make my way to the ledge overlooking the Pit. There is a bustle of activity below, but the ledge is still just as empty as every other time I have been here. It is close to dinner time, so most people are probably in the dinning hall. Alone, I allow the tears to spill silently, sniffling occasionally as I watch the people wander about.

Foot steps approach behind me, slow but loud. Legs enter my peripheral vision, simply standing next to me. After a moment, they bend go to hanging over the edge as they sit beside me.

"That was kind of you." Eric's voice is quiet.

"Most people would interpret this as someone wanting to be alone." The words are harsh, but despite the apology, I am still hurt and angry. Eric doesn't respond immediately.

"Sometimes, people shouldn't be left alone. I know I'm not one of the people you want, but I'm not going to let you sit here alone after what happened."

Turning to look at him, Eric is staring at my face. There is nothing malicious in his eyes. His face is mostly relaxed, only a slight pinch in the corner of his eyes. Turning back to the Pit, I rub my hands against my cheeks, drying the tear tracks.

"I'm truly sorry Kat. About all of it. I know what you said earlier. And I respect that. But I feel that you deserve to hear it again."

The slightly hum of voices in the Pit, the sounds of footsteps and occasional peals of laughter that echo against the walls, loosens something. There is still a knot in my chest and stomach. A part of me that is mourning. But another part of me is so very tired. It wants to just forget, to move on. I can't do that, but a part of me can try.

"Thank you, Eric. For letting me say goodbye." My voice is so broken, wet and cracked. He doesn't respond aloud. He lifts his arm and gently rests it around my shoulder, pulling me against his shoulder and squeezing lightly, and I let him. We simply sit there for a moment, my shoulder warming and I place my cheek against his shoulder. I don't know how long we sit there, just watching the people.

"Have you eaten anything today?" He is quiet as he breaks the silence that sits between us.

"Yeah, I had something light while I was with Edward in the infirmary."

"That's all? The dining hall is probably closed, but come on. Let's see if I can get something left over." He lifts his arm from my shoulder and shifting over, swinging his legs back from the edge and coming to stand. I slowly follow and he extends a hands to help me up. I take it, allowing him to pull me from the ground. I follow him down to the outside of the dining hall where he tells me to wait while he goes in. I am only waiting for a moment before he comes back out with two burgers. He hands me one and we stand silently, each taking bites. When we finish, he takes the napkin the burger had been wrapped in and vanishes back inside before reappearing.

"Thank you Eric."

He smiles gently, and I am again conflicted, unsure what to believe. The man who stands before me now, eyes gentle and actions kind, or the man last night, with anger and rage spitting from his lips.

"Go to bed Kat. I'll see you tomorrow." With that he turns and strides away. I do the same, walking to the dorm. When I enter, everyone turns to stare for a moment and the room is silent. I don't pause, just walking to my bunk and pulling out different clothes for tomorrow and to change into for the evening. Whispers pick up behind me before turning back to hesitant continuation of conversations from before I came in. I change and lay down, pulling the covers over my body and closing my eyes.

At one point, I can hear Peter come up to stand in the area between our bunks. I can also feel him staring, but I ignore him. I can't. Not today. Maybe not ever. But definitely not today. With a sigh, I hear his bunk creak as he sits down and settles back. The room has fallen quiet at this point and the lights are off.

"I'm sorry Kat." I don't think he realizes I'm awake at this point, so I'm not entirely sure why he says it. Maybe to alleviate the guilt he surely feels. But I have no sympathy at this moment. Quite frankly I'm getting sick and tired of hearing those words. So instead I pretend to still be asleep until I truly am asleep.

Howdy! Sorry for the delay between updates (which seems to be the way I end every chapter, I'm nothing if not consistently late). This chapter in the books is the zipline scene. And I want there to be some separation, I want Tris to still have her moments for just her, and to leave her as her own defined character. And I wanted there to be something more to Edward and Myra. I do have regrets about not doing more sooner, but alas. Hopefully they feel at least slightly more 3-dimensional. But sincerely, thanks for sticking with it. And I know there are some less than grand parts about trying to navigate Eric, in the regards that he is not a kind man. I don't want to make him out to be sweet and perfect, because the original book makes it very clear that he is not great. He has aspects of him that are very unhealthy. But at the same time, I don't want him to be this one note antagonist. And Kat doesn't exactly have the best background to navigate that. In short, take whatever is happening as a grain of salt, this is not an ideal relationship in any regard, whether that be friendship or otherwise. But thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit! Until next time, Stay Fierce!

~ChildOfLupus