New beginnings

Where do I start this? I'm sleep-deprived, haven't slept in two days, and debts and work are piling up. There's a point in your life when you know that everything has gone wrong, and you need to fix it. That's what I'm doing; I'm fixing my Shit.

Writing has helped me a lot during these last few days as it relaxes me in a certain way. I've uploaded several stories, many with a lot of support, but there has always been a thorn in my side, you know? Something that makes writing difficult at times... I couldn't pinpoint it at first, but while working on the retranslation of "Defiant," I realized... I don't like it.

the story with which I started my career as an internet writer, the first story I uploaded... I don't like it. Something that helped me cope with many bad things that have happened, I now don't like... and I think I know why. I'm human, and sometimes I let negative things influence my writing. "Defiant" should have been the story of a hero, it must be the story of a hero, someone who tries to bring out the best in the world even if the world doesn't agree with them, but it's no longer that, not since writing that chapter 23, which I believe was the point where I completely deviated

Some people liked it, others didn't, that's fine. I've always known that what I do and write can't please everyone, and that's okay... but it stops being okay when I don't like it either.

I didn't do things right; I let my problems influence my writing, and that's been a thorn in my side for a while. I know I'm not a professional writer; I know I'm just a guy behind a screen writing stuff he likes, but I also like it when others enjoy it. Seeing people read something that I don't even like myself feels like forcing myself to swallow my own threw up and forcing others to do the same.

This doesn't mean that if you've enjoyed the story so far, it's a bad thing. As I said, we all have different tastes. If you like something, you see it; if you don't like something, you ignore it... Maybe that's too simplistic and idealistic, but I want to believe we can choose between those two options.

And I know which option I've chosen. My life needs to change, my problems need to be solved, and I need to be better. I can't change everything immediately; I can't just wish for things to be better and suddenly have them be.

So, I will start by changing the little things that I don't like. 'Defiant'... it needs to start over. Not just a retranslation, but truly start over, be what it should have been from the beginning, something I enjoy writing, something I enjoy reading.

There will be things that stay the same, there will be things that change completely, there will be things that remain the same but are handled better; there's a lot to do, indeed. But I want to do it right; everything has to start somewhere, right?

For those who have been here from the beginning, those who didn't leave but instead helped me, I want to thank you for everything, your criticism, your positive comments, even the negative ones. All of that has helped me a lot during this time; it has given me perspective.

Thank you, guys.

I know there will be many who are disappointed by this, and I know that some may even get angry. I'm sorry, but I'd rather try to bring something good than just continue with something bad. I want to be happy writing this story; I want to be better, and I can only do that if I try.

Will I succeed? Will I fail? I don't know, but I will try. 'Defiant' will return. I don't know if I'll upload it completely in a new story publication or delete the uploaded chapters and post the new ones in the same place. I don't even know if it will have the same name. But it will come back, and I hope it will be better.

For those who are leaving, thank you for your support. For those who stay, well, let's hope this journey is much more satisfying.

I guess we'll see each other when the time is right.