"Alright I'm gonna say it, that was waaayyy too many fucking clowns."

"I have to win that pageant someday! Can you imagine what it'd be like to work with HIM?" The teenage Fizzarolli asked his best friend Blitzo as they walked home.

"You'll blow them all clear out of the water."

"But what if I'm not good enough."

"Let's just say I have it in good faith, your gonna be amazing clown and an amazing uncle." The teen imp added quietly. He'd been having weird dreams lately.

"What?" Fizzarolli asked in confusion.

"Your gonna be an amazing clown." Blitz repeated as they walked.

"Oh my Satan Fizzarolli!" A tall lanky imp boy came and grabbed onto Fizz's hand.

"Aren't you the creep who's always trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?" Blitz asked.

"I was talking to the clown asshole!" Imp boy snapped at Blitz. "I'm sorry Fizzy I'm not normally so aggressive I promise!"

He went on a diatribe about how he got into clowning because of Fizzarolli and was "really good" and had ideas about spicing up his act with a "romantic" act between the two of them.

"Uh sorry, we gotta go." Fizzarolli said, clearly disturbed by the older imps aggressiveness.

"You think you can just ignore me you elitist prick?! Fizzarolli!!"

"Cheese and hot sauce fizz your fans are something else." Blitz said trying to keep the lanky imps deranged rants from reaching fizzarollis ears.

"What if he's right? What if my acts are trash?"

As they walked, Blitz saw a afterimage of sorts of, for some absurdist reason, a little human child and heard the raven haired boy laughing and smiling as he bounced around Fizzarolli and himself. Why Blitzo had no idea. But it gave him a warm fuzzy feeing deep inside he wasn't used to.

"If anyone is gonna be the face of Mammons brand one day it's gonna be you." Blitz promised as they walked.

Present Day...

Harry was laying with his head in Francesco's lap on his bed as they watched a Hella Novella together.

"No! No Alejandro I can't return your affections!"

"Oh come on you stupid [HONK] make up your bloody mind!" Harry said.

"I mean she did just discover Alejandro is actually her long lost 5th Cousin Twice removed married to her sister Abigail who disappeared on a hiking trip in the fields of Wrath ten years ago." Francesco pointed out.

"When did that get revealed?" Harry asked in confusion tilting his head to the side in a way Francesco found absofuckinlutely adorable.

"About an hour ago when you had your nose in my balls." Francesco said huskily to his fiancé as he stroked Harry's head feathers lovingly.

Harry mmmed and leaned into the parrots petting.

It was their date night. Draco and Hermione where doing summer homework in other parts of the palace together while Harry and Francesco spent time together. Playing video games, listening to the latest tracks by the Glitz and Glam sisters on Voxtagram, giving Francesco a quick blowjob after Stolas had popped in on them to check on them. A. K. A. Making sure Francesco and Harry kept hands to themselves and only did minor things such as kissing. But now the young avians knew things such as oral sex did not factor in to the contracts consequences clause (Thank You Uncle Ozzie) they made use of that fact every opportunity they could and Francesco VERY much enjoyed making his fiancé squeal with his tongue.

"Come one Come All it's the Fizzarolli Ball where the creatures of the dark gather answering the call -"

"Uncle Ozzy! Hi" Harry answered.

"Speaker."

"Your on speaker." Harry said.

"Bonjourno Uncle!" Francesco greeted Asmodeous.

"Is it date night? Did I interrupt anything frisky?"

"No that happened about an hour ago." Harry said. We're just watching a Hella Novella."

"Good Boy." Ozzie replied. "Listen, Fizzy is all worked up over this clown pageant with Mammon but he won't listen to me when I try to tell him that Mammon is a manipulative piece of shit and I couldn't help but wonder if-?"

"If I picked up any of my Dads traits like being brutally honest? And you want me to give my opinions on his somewhat disturbing obsession with Uncle Mammon?"

Asmodeous blinked twice. "Yes."

"Absolutely. Ask Octavia about when she asked my opinion on her Third Grade Dance dress."

"I'll need that story later." Ozzie said. "I was wondering if you would be a sort of Security Guard for your Uncle Fizzy. You know the kinds of fans he has."

"Thirsty as fuck for Clown Ass?" Harry asked bluntly.

"Exactly."

"No problem! I'd be happy to I haven't seen Uncle Fizzy perform live since the Yule Ball and Oh~Francy not now Uncle Ozzie is still on the line and ~Ooooo~"

Beep

So parrot boy is bold enough to make a move when I'm on the phone with my sweet nephew. Harry, you got yourself a good fish, you lucky boy. Asmodeous thought as he stared at Call Ended.

Fizz sprang from the limo on the red carpet waving to fans as Asmodeous blinked from the window. The crowd also went wild when Harry blinked from the window with The Jackal in hand and carrying a suitcase with his disassembled blessed Rifle.

"Why did you come again?"

"I haven't seen you perform in person like this since I was a kid!" Harry told Fizzarolli as the imp said.

"So I invited him, as his uncle." Asmodeous said as he walked along in his collapsed form. "He's also acting as extra security, you know your fans. Since I can't be with you, I thought he'd be the next best thing."

"Harry's a Fifteen year old boy. He's also got his own fans." Fizzarolli countered. "Lil Sus babe."

"Prince Harry over here?!"

Harry was surprised by cameras moving from Fizz to himself. He waved nervously as he held The Jackal at his side. Harry saw some implings holding out a Royals autograph book. He kindly took it and added his signature under his father Prince Stolas' and grandfather King Paimon's signatures before handing it to Asmodeous to sign. he brought the brother/sister pair onto his shoulders and smiled for the cameras as they flashed.

"I'll always have a spot in my heart for imps. An imp adopted me when I was a baby you know?" Harry said with a finger to his mouth in a shh like he was telling the kids a secret. The kids had the biggest smiles hearing that.

"He was still able to protect you while I wasn't able to, so I trust that." Asmodeous said in Fizz's ear. Reminding the imp of how his fifteen year old nephew fought off bloodthirsty leviathan mobsters for his safety, literally tearing one's heart out with his own beak. Fizzarolli doubted that image would ever leave his head.

"That was an extreme circumstance and you know it. I'm also starting to learn how to use these limbs of mine for self defense."

One of Fizzarollis favorite new moves was using his extended arms to power whip somebody's neck. Either knocking them out or cutting their heads clean off their necks depending on the power he put into it.

"And that's an awesome start babe. But since I can't be with you here, he's a compromise."

Fizzarolli grumbled. "Lil sus babe." Before waving at fans and sighing autographs.

Harry blinked as he saw a newcomer. He knew this demon. He followed her and her twin sister on their socials he loved their acts. Her sister suddenly appeared from behind her in their signature mirror act.

The crowd cheered and applaudedz

"Woah Glitz and Glam!" Harry said eagerly as he came up to the twin demons. He shook their hands eagerly. "Huge fan! My sister Octavia and I follow you guys on all your socials you guys are awesome!"

The sisters smirked at each other. "Always nice to meet a fan." Glitz said.

"Especially a royal one." Glam added. "Are you Mammons guest or something? Your his nephew right?"

"One of them if you can call him an Uncle." Harry said with venom in his voice as he watched Mammon interact with Fizzarolli. "All of us Ars Goetia kids idolize the Sins but I think I haven't seen Uncle Mammon in person since I was ten. I don't know about my cousins I don't see them a lot. I'm security today for my Uncle Fizzarolli." Harry brought up his huge pistol.

"Our competition is your Uncle?" Glitz saw Fizzarolli interacting with fans.

"Well, he is married to Uncle Ozzie the Sin of Lust, so yeah but even if he wasn't, he's still my Dads brother. Can I get a selfie with you guys?" He asked, bringing up his Hellphone.

The sisters looked at each other then gave a toothy smile. "Sure." They said together, then they posed together.

"At Uncle Mammons clown pageant and look who's competing! And posted!" Harry said eagerly. "Thanks!"

"Nice. Gives us a little more exposure, being on a royal Princes timeline." Glam said as she posed for the cameras with her sister.

"Your getting a little chunky, don't wanna have to modify the fizzy models! The customers like them thin as fuck!"

"Uh I'll get working on that Sir."

"Whose this little [HONK]fire?" Mammon asked at the new owl teen. "I thought Stolas had a daughter."

Harry narrowed his eyes.

"Uh? Mammon sir don't you recognize your own nephew? This is Harry!"

"You're not my Harry! My bright shiny penny is a tiny and featherless human!" Mammon said as he walked around Harry's form. "Not a bad job, honestly." He said, impressed.

"I'm not 6 anymore Uncle." Harry said with the tiniest bit of disgust in his tone. "Im 15, A lot has happened since then."

"I remember when you where 3 and Stolas showed you to the Sins for the first time you where the cutest little thing." Mammon said. "Beel and Ozzie immediately fought over who got to hold you first. But guess who beat 'em to the punch?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "You, Uncle Mammon."

"Yep you, little [HONK] walked right up to me and said "up!" Immediately putting the argument to rest."

"Wowww!!!" Came from his phone and Harry looked down.

"And he never lets us forget it either." Harry read a text from Asmodeous.

"Did you bug us?" Harry texted back.

"Nah just figured Mamm was bragging about how he was the first of us Sins you wanted attention from."

"Mammon Sir a picture with your a nephew for the Hell Fresh Press?"

Mammon put his hands on Harry's shoulders and Harry put on a fake smile. "Nice bright smile boy together you and I are worth the front page!" Mammon said.

Where have I heard that before? Harry asked himself sarcastically.

"I'll see you both backstage. Don't forget to smile there! Remember Fizzarolli the smile is the face the fans like to see from you!" Mammon said before blinking away.

"Holy crap that guy sucks donkey dick." Harry said to Fizzarolli.

"Look Harry I know Mammons not exactly your favorite of the sins but he's still your Uncle. Could you at least bring him a moderate bit of respect?"

"Respect goes both ways Uncle Fizz." Harry said. "The second he knew who I was he used me for a photo op and do you know what my dad would have said if HE had heard Mammon talking to you that way?"

"Just, please don't this for me." Fizzarolli pleaded. "I need this gig."

"Your husband is the freaking Sin of Lust. You have the support of the Ars Goetia and the other Sins." Harry said.

Fizzarolli didn't hear his nephew as he walked away waving to fans and press.

The score was now tied 666 to 666 between Fizzarolli and the Glam Twins.

"And now we're down to our clowny finalists it's time for the meet and greet!"

"Uh, boss I ain't exactly in the best headspace to interact with the fans right now."

Harry watched Fizzarolli and Mammon chat for a while before Mammon proofed away and the jester shook hands and took pictures. Harry frowned. He could tell his Uncle wasn't in a happy mood. Until he saw a little imp boy signing. He was deaf. He brought the boy up on stage and signed his autograph in front of the crowd and the crowd cheered.

"Hope your all excited for the big finale!"

"Boo!!! Booo!!! Your act sucks!!!"

"Come again?" Fizzarolli asked.

It was the same guy from 25 years ago. He fit the definition of Incel from what Harry saw through his scope. He watched the guy back Fizz into a corner until the imp jester was shaking. He blinked in between them and glared up at the imp loser.

"Oh what's this? Still think your too good to even talk to me? Gotta have this brat stand between us? To think what we could have been together if you hadn't been so up your own ass!"

"You know, my dad may have been a more forgiving imp in this situation and given you a chance to fuck off." Harry said to the loser. "I on the other hand-!"

Harry distracted the imp with the old bouquet of flowers trick in his left hand from his sleeve, tossing it to the crowd. A pair of Hellhound ladies fought over it, he used that to distract the incel to bring out his blessed knife in the other.

Harry slashed upwards diagonally at the imps face with the blessed knife he stole off Striker in his right hand. The crowd gasped as they saw blood spray before the loser as he bent down and put a hand to his cheek only to came back around to feel cold steel under his chin. The Jackal. He'd seen the Princes Voxtagram feed. He knew what was coming.

"Fuck off, assclown."

BANG!!!

The the crowd gasped in horror loser imp collapsed backwards with a blessed round in his brain.

Harry turned back to see his uncle with shaking knees holstered The Jackal and held his Uncles hand. "uncle are you alright?"

POOF! Mammon teleported in.

"Clean up in the unmentionables aisle!" Mammon shouted seeing the corpse. "Nice going kid." He patted Harry's back. "Ya alright Fizzy? I know that was scary but I only saw what was happening at the last second."

"Yeah it's always the last second isn't it with you?" Harry said behind Mammons back.

"What?"

"Nothing!" Harry said suddenly when Mammon turned his head.

"Tell ya what? I'll let the Twins go on first so you can get your shit together." Mammon said graciously. "Get yOuR SHiT ToGEtHer." He said darkly.

"On it sir." Fizzarolli said nervously.

"Uncle Fizz can't you see that he's manipulating you? He doesn't care about your well being he never has all he cares about is how long he can milk every last dime from your fame! Cause your likeable and he's a fucking dumpster fire!"

"He's not your a fifteen year old boy you don't understand!"

"Uncle you where my age and you where simping hard for Mammon even then from the stories Dad use to tell me! Mammon knows how you feel about him and he's constantly using this obsession you have with him to make you feel guilty when you want to tell him one simple word, NO!" Harry shouted this last bit as Fizz was stepping up to the dressing room.

"No, isn't a word Mammon is used to hearing." Harry said. "I should know."

A year Before Hogwarts contact, after Harry's revealing to all of Hell.

"How's my bright shiny penny doing?!" Came after a large Poof with a cloud of green smoke.

After coughing 10 year old Harry excitedly ran up to the Sin of Greed and gave him a big hug.

I hadn't seen Mammon in person for years. It was video calls on my birthday or during hellidays. Suddenly I was in the spotlight all over Hell! Fresh off the presses! Now hear this! Extra extra read all about it! Human child raised by Hell Royalty and He's got Magic!

"So I got a plan in mind, it's a line. A brand if you will, for you in mind specifically." Mammon put his hands on Harry's shoulders as he produced a contract out of thin air. Harry sat down at his desk.

"Oh my Satan." Fizz said as he sat down on his dressing room chair. "He tried this brand bullshit with you?" Fizzarolli had been Mammons personal brand baby since he was in his 20s.

"Fortunately since I was a child he didn't want a sex robot of me. Harry shuddered at the thought. "But a Robot playmate for children was on the table. I was about to sign my name away, my SOUL away. Just to spend time with a selfish piece of shit who didn't give a damn about me except to gloat that I liked him first."

"WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Blitzo came in to Harry's room to see Harry about to sign something with Mammon looming over him, rubbing his hands together. All of them.

"Hi dad!" Harry said eagerly! "Uncle Mammon has a brand line in designs for me! All I gotta do is sign the line and I get to spend a lot more time with him!"

"STOLAS! Get your feathery ass in here!"

"The answer is no." Harry said finally after Stolas read the contract to him explaining what everything meant in detail.

"Come on little penny! I could give you everything and more."

"He said no bitch now get out." Blitzo ordered. Holding his Flintlock out towards Mammon.

"You won't like it if this gets ugly Mammon. Our business is over now leave." Stolas ordered as he burned the contract.

"You are going to regret rejecting this opportunity boy." Mammon sneered down to Harry as he left the estate.

Stolas and Blitz held onto Harry as he coughed from Mammons blinking smog. "Uncle Mammon?" He asked empty space.

"It was after that Dad and Papa taught me about the value of a human soul in Hell and Soul Contracts and warned me against making deals with demons like Mammon and the other Sins no matter how much familial feelings may flow between them and me. I was a human with a human soul in HELL and they where demons first, aunts and uncles second.

"Oh so THATS why you avoided us for two years." Fizzarolli said suddenly in understanding, it was shortly after Harry turned ten that he started avoiding not only Fizz and Asmodeous, even the other Sins.

"Yeah..."

Fizzarolli was still shaking. "I know you have your own reasons for disliking Mammon-"

"Understatement." Harry interrupted.

"This job means the entirety of Hell to me! Without it I'd lose

"Everything!" Came Glitz and Glam who cackled and faded into a dark dressing room.

"You just don't understand." Fizzarolli said as he closed his dressing room door in Harry's face.

Harry backed down the stairs leading to Fizz's dressing room. Asmodeous arrived.

"I heard shit went down."

"Problem hater eliminated." Harry said. "it's just-"

"He ain't listening about Mammon?"

Harry shook his head.

"Ya done what ya can. I appreciate the effort." Ozzie said putting comforting ashand on Harry's shoulder. "Let me try now."

"The fuck?!" Harry said as a familiar imp ran past bleeding heavily from the jaw.

"Your gonna listen to me now FIZZAROLLI!!!" The incel from before had survived. The bullet hadn't actually pierced his brain. His jawline so thick it acted as a temporary shield for the holy bullet. A fluke really. He had woken up on a trash pile bleeding heavily and immediately made to find Fizzarolli. That bitch would get what was coming to him!!! He waved a knife in Fizz and Ozzie's direction before-

BANG!!

A Hole was made through the front of the haters head as the spent round embedded itself into Fizz's mirror.

That being said it wouldn't be a temp shield from a direct impact to the back of the guys skull, an average imps skull.

"Satans Taint that guy could be a jump scare in a horror movie!" Harry said, "Everything good?" The owl teen asked as he slid the chamber back to be sure it was reloaded.

"Yeah. Yeah I think I know what I'm gonna do." Fizz said as he and Ozzie cuddled.

Harry smiled. He hoped he and Francesco had a marriage like his Uncles someday.

Fizzarollis finale was spectacular! A two minute number he dubbed Two Minutes Notice Fuck You!! He even managed to get a jab in on how he had tried to lure a ten year old into a soul contract. The crowd gasped at that. And Mammon growled at the reminder of the contract and revenue he missed out on because that [Honk] imp of Stolas' caught him in the act.

Somehow a Hellhound managed to jump onto Fizzarollis leg and was dry jumping him. Harry immediately unsubscribed him from life for his troubles. Giving his uncle a good to go sign as he pulled up his rifle.

"Mammon you sad sack of shit FUCK YOU!"

Harry gleefully spied Mammon getting flustered from his web where he had two robo fizzies waiting on him like servants.

Fizzarolli waved to his fans in the cheering crowd and signed Thank you. To the little deaf imp boy who came to see him with clowning aspirations who signed "Your amazing!"

"You know it's always been the greatest thrill of my life, performing for you all and it's been my pleasure to bring you all this one last show...I quit!"

The crowd gasped.

Mammon threw up his entire popcorn bucket onto the fizz boy to his right. "WHAT?!" He blinked on stage. "What do you mean quit?!"

"I mean I quit! I'm gone! G'day mate!" The imp said in an Aussie accent mocking the Sin.

Mammon growled enraged before smoke enveloped the stage as he became a larvae form. He burst from the larval sack with six insectoid legs a humongous body.

"I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!" The Sin shouted. "I RAISED YOU LIKE THE SON I DIDNT WANT!" He pointed with his right hand to Fiz but the imp just batted it away casually.

Click.

Harry breathed heavily. He had blinked in front of his imp uncle and held The Jackal in front of Mammons face. "You better back the fuck up." Harry threatened. "Or Hell will be minus one Sin."

"That your only shot? A heavy pistol with blessed rounds ya little One Trick [HONK?]

"Harry?" Fizzarolli asked.

"I was so hoping you would ask me that." Harry said as he tossed his pistol to Fizzarolli and sat on the ground.

Mammon roared in rage and swiped at his nephew but a barrier blocked his strike.

"The stars know how the world began." Harry said cryptically. "The stars know how the world will end."

A Goetian sigil glowed bright green on the ground. Feathers started spreading higher and higher and further and further away. The crowd shrieked in terror as a giant goetian owl demon in dark green on black aura coloring and six green eyes roared at Mammon. It slashed at his face with its claw leaving a harsh cut across his left eye.

"You stupid [HONK] I ought to-" Mammon started as he brought his face around to see Harry collapsed on the ground. This was his chance.

"You Better back the fuck up Mamm." Asmodeous suddenly roared onto the scene, protecting both Harry and his darling husband.

"About time." Fizz said as he helped Harry stand up.

Asmodeous and Mammon exchanged words as Harry floated in and out of consciousness. Fizzarolli held onto his exhausted nephew.

"You are gonna regret this Ozzie." Mammon said slyly, his injured eye bleeding. He blew air at Fizzarolli who simply glared back. Before triggering an enormous explosion as he teleported away from the venue injuring several spectators. Asmodeous protected his husband and nephew. He and the jester cuddled.

"So does that mean we win?" Glitz asked? She and her sister smiled at each other before a wall fell on them.

In the limo, Francesco held onto Harry in his lap who was deep sleeping. Transforming like that still took a lot of magical power from him, he wasn't use to it yet. Let alone physically attacking a Deadly Sin hard enough to leave potential scarring. He watched Uncle Ozzie and Uncle Fizzy cuddling.

"You've got yourself a good egg Franc." Asmodeous said. "Don't hurt him, or I hurt you." He threatened darkly.

"Yes sir." Francesco nodded nervously. He knew that Harry was Asmodeous's favorite among the Ars Goetia children, he just didn't realize how far that went until just now. He let Harry cuddle into his shoulder.

To be continued...