Authors Note: A small update. :) Just a reminder, the song in this chapter is "Feel It In My Bones" by DJ Tiesto.

Chapter 11: Investigator Zak Bagans

"Left hook.

I didn't see it coming.

Left hook.

You've got dead aim."

I continued dancing with Zak, mainly following his lead. I was nervous enough dancing with him, and now he wanted to talk?

"What about?" I replied casually, hoping that maybe he just wanted to talk about how the shoot went, or about the weather. That would be a nice, easy conversation.

"Don't get mad…you gotta promise me that first," Zak replied.

Oh great, I thought.

I gave him a bit of a warning look, but decided to see what he had to say.

"I promise," I started.

I waited until Zak was about to talk.

"…that I'll try not to," I added, with a slight smirk.

Zak laughed.

"Alright, fair enough," he stated.

I smiled in response.

"Listen," Zak started. "I know how hard it can be to talk about your personal experiences with the paranormal…I face that struggle with people at every investigation, and with every episode of 'Aftershocks' that we film…but a lot of the time, it can be very helpful."

"Rushes out.

Run away.

Rushes out.

You always run away."

Damn lyrics, I thought.

Had this been his plan? To try to force my emotions out of me? I did my best to remain level headed.

"I know that," I replied simply.

I should have said more. Explained why it wasn't so easy for me to talk about my experiences. But those three words came out before I could think.

Zak chuckled softly after a brief pause.

"You're still not going to tell me, are you?" Zak asked.

I shook my head.

"No," I replied softly.

I knew I could trust him. He did this for a living. He wouldn't laugh at me or judge me. But too many people had hurt me. I was afraid to open that door again.

Zak studied me briefly before trying again.

"Can you at least tell me a few small details?" Zak asked, then continued, "This spirit that you said you see, is it a full manifestation? A shadow? Can you hear them with your own ears?"

"What rushes in to my heart and my skull,

I can't control. Think about it, feel it in my bones.

What rushes in to my heart and my skull,

I can't control."

I felt my emotions starting to ramp up, my mind flashing through all the memories I had of seeing Emily. Of hearing her voice.

I tried to find something I could tell him, some little detail that would ease his curiosity until I was ready to tell him more. I really had wanted to talk to him about my experiences, to get his opinion on them. But then he opened his mouth again.

"It's someone you know…isn't it? Someone from your past?" Zak asked.

He was sounding exactly like he does on 'Aftershocks'. Professional. No emotion, except for the rare times a guest broke down. Asking question after question until they finally answer, with seemingly no regard to how much it might hurt them to speak the words.

"I feel you in my bones.

You're knocking at my window.

You're slow to letting me go.

I know this feeling oh so,

This feeling in my bones."

I felt my eyes beginning to water, but tried my best to keep cool. Freaking out in public was the last thing I needed.

"I'm not telling you anything Zak, not yet. So just- " I started, but he cut me off.

"You can tell me Alicia. I just want to help," Zak said.

That same, professional voice. And using my full name…the rest of the guys either called me Shorty or Ali at this point. All of them.

Except Zak.

Why was I letting his actions toward me bother me so much? I'd only known him for a little over a week, and barely even that, considering he avoided me for the most part at the beginning of the week. He had only come into contact with me because we were forced to, for the promos.

"I take my heart out of my chest,

I just don't need it any more.

Take my head out of the game,

I just don't need it any more."

I felt my eyes watering more. I pulled my hands back away from his neck and forced his hands off my hips.

He look startled.

"I'm not talking to you about it," I said firmly.

Zak look confused, and possibly hurt?

I couldn't tell.

"What do you-" he started, but I didn't let him finish.

I was so close to bursting out into tears. I lowered my voice slightly, not wanting to draw attention to us. But if anyone was watching us, it was obvious by my body language I was upset.

"You! The 'professional' you," I started, making quotes with my fingers. "You were talking to me just now like I was just another guest for 'Aftershocks', and I am NOT being that person!"

I felt a few tears fall down my cheeks, I quickly, and carefully, tried to wipe them away. Thank god my makeup was waterproof. I continued venting my emotions before he could stop me.

"I get that it's your job to get stories from people. Personal, emotional stories that the audience can connect with. But you're not doing that to me. I'm not someone you'll talk to one or two times at an investigation and then never see me again. We're going to be working together!"

Zak looked speechless, and I knew from both shows he was rarely left speechless.

"I thought, maybe, that I would be able to open up about my experiences with you. Because I haven't had anyone I can really talk to about them," I heard my voice crack slightly, but I continued. "But I guess I was wrong. I was hoping to get to know the real Zak Bagans and talk to him. But you just want to remain 'Investigator Zak Bagans' around me! Well, I'm telling you now, I'm not going to be someone you crack!"

I felt more tears threatening to fall down my cheeks as I pushed past him to head back toward the booth.

I was done. There was no way this was going to work. There would be too much tension on the job and it would ruin everything.

Why did I start to think I could get to know him? To get close to him…

I heard a small whimper escape my throat, but thankfully the music blocked the risk of anyone hearing it.

My thoughts came to a standstill when I felt Zak grab my hand.

I looked back at him.

He still looked shocked, but he also looked upset now too, but I wasn't falling for it.

"Let me go," I said firmly, turning to try to pull my hand from his and walk away.

I yelped when I felt him yank me back toward him until my back bumped into his chest. I felt him grab my other hand and he kept both of them pinned at my sides, so I couldn't go anywhere.

I swore I could feel his energy then. His shock, his upset, his sympathy, and his pain…

I felt his breath near my ear as he lowered his head down near mine. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

What the hell was this affect he had on me?

I struggled to pull my hands free.

"I didn't mean to sound like that, not at all…" Zak said softly near my ear.

I swallowed back a lump that had formed in my throat.

"Yeah, right," I replied softly.

My low self esteem already had me convinced that I was just another experiencer of paranormal activity for him to study and question.

"I didn't," Zak said firmly, but still softly. "I guess it's become my defence mechanism and I hadn't noticed…" Zak added.

Defence mechanism?

I turned my head slightly toward his.

"What are you talking about…?" I asked softly.

My anger had disappeared.

I felt his grip loosen on my hands, enough that I could of ran away if I wanted to. But I was curious now.

I stayed in the same position we had found ourselves in. I was positive it was easier for him to talk honestly this way, the same as it was starting to feel for me.

Zak hesitated before he answered.

"I've avoided getting close to women for almost two years now," Zak said softly.

I was shocked.

There was plenty of rumours online that painted Zak as a "player" who hooked up with a lot of different women. But the rumours were all years old now. And there was never any real proof.

Besides, he would have been in his late twenties, early thirties, and is basically famous. Wouldn't that be the norm for most guys nowadays?

"Why…?" I asked softly.

"Because the last few girlfriends I had had years ago…they always ended up going through hell because of me. They couldn't come to my house without some sort of bad experience happening. The longer we saw each other, the worse it got, and they started having issues in their own homes. Without me even being there." Zak explained.

I couldn't help but feel bad for him. That had to be a horrible feeling. Knowing your paranormal experiences and possible attachments were affecting people you cared about.

"I'm so sorry…" I said softly, unsure of what else to say.

I felt him shake his head slightly, and heard him take a bit of a deep breath.

"Comes with the job it seems…Aaron's marriage ended because of stuff he was going through," Zak replied.

"I've heard that…" I replied softly.

Zak hesitated before he spoke again.

"How about I open up a bit, and share something with you?" Zak asked softly.

I nodded.

"Alright…" I replied, although slightly nervous.

Where is he going with this?