At the Siskin house, Lindsay was trying to come up with a good idea for this week's show. To do this, she pulled out the Wheel of Skits. "Come on, wheel! Give me a good idea for my show!" Lindsay cheered. She happily watched the wheel spin. Eventually, it landed on "Snake Boas". "Snake boas? Great! We could do a fashion episode!" Lindsay cheered. She wrapped a snake around her neck. It slowly began to wrap itself around, and Lindsay quickly got it off her. "Well, that's no good. Hmph. Who knew that making TV shows would be harder than watching TV shows?" she whined. She attempted to spin the wheel again, but it broke off the hanger. Marie then walked in the room. "Morning." she said. Just then, the wheel came rolling her way. She quickly dodged it, saving herself from a grim fate. "Lindsay! How's the ol' creative process going?" Marie asked, fake punching Lindsay. "Terrible! I've been spinning all morning, and I still got nothing." Lindsay sulked. Marie looked at the wheel, which was now stuck in the wall. "Uh-huh... Well, I'm sure you'll come up with a neat show idea, like..." Marie wondered before the sisters heard something. It was the ice cream truck! "Ice cream!" Lindsay then ran off, a giant smile on her face. "Well, looks like we're doing another ice cream show." Marie said before running after Lindsay.
Outside, an ice cream man from Chubby Chunks was handing out ice cream cones to kids. "Who's the guy with a smile and loves to sing your favorite songs? Who's got sweets and frozen treats the kids can spend their money on? Who's your favorite ice cream man from now until you're gone?" he sang. "The Chubby truck guy!" the kids cheered as they ate. "Who shows you how to-" The man began to sing, but he immediately stopped once he saw Lindsay. "Ah! It's her! Sweet Aunt Gladys!" "I'll take a Sweet Aunt Gladys." a boy said. The man knew Lindsay way too well. Six years ago, Lindsay wanted to buy an ice cream, but she didn't have the money for one. So, the man let her have a cone for free. However, Lindsay immediately became addicted to the sweet taste of it. She jumped inside the truck and drove it into the Chubby Chunks ice cream shop, causing it to explode. Ever since that day, the man never gave ice cream to Lindsay. Lindsay ran after the truck, but the man drove away. She fell to the ground and hit her face, bruising it. Marie then walked over.
"Looks like you made quite the impression." Marie joked, but no one laughed. "Now that that's over..." Marie ran behind her camera. "We're live in five, four, three, two..." She mouthed one and pointed to Lindsay. "Oh, no! There's no show until I get my ice cream!" Lindsay said, before planting her bottom on the ground. She began drawing a picture of the ice cream man. "Mean old ice cream man! I'm gonna get my ice cream." she plotted. The ice cream man was Lindsay's number one enemy. Marie scoffed. "Guess if you want something done, sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. The show must go on!" she cheered. She tied cables around Lindsay's arms and legs, and began using her as a puppet. "Welcome to The Lindsay Show! Today, we are talking about, uh..." Marie didn't know what to say, so she said the first thing that came to mind. "Enemies! I got 'em, you got 'em. Sometimes, I'm my own sister's enemy 'cause I go crazy and I ruin all her hard work." Marie said angrily. She then moved Lindsay over to a TV. "Now, here's a pre-recorded segment, from when I wasn't being such a stubborn jerk." Marie then turned on the TV.
Lindsay appeared on the TV screen. "Hey there. Today, we're looking at nature, which is like plants and rocks and books and stuff, I guess." The camera focused on Honey Boo Boo, who was eating her kibble on the window ledge. "Hey, there's my pet Honey Boo Boo! She's natural, and she's got a big bowl of tasty, yummy dog food." Lindsay narrated. A rabbit then popped out of a nearby bush. It was pure albino and had blazing red eyes. "And there's her natural enemy, the albino bunny. I call him Porcie." Porcie made his way to the ledge, and was in awe at Honey's food. "Ooh, he's hungry! I wonder if Honey will share? Mother says sharing is caring, but she never wants to share her makeup with me." Lindsay narrated. While she was talking, Porcie attempted to reach over to the food, but Honey stuck one of her sharp fur quills into his hand. Porcie screamed in agony before leaping away. "Whoa! Let's see what happens next. Probably nothing. Nature's boring." Lindsay complained. Honey went back to eating her food before noticing Porcie. "Get him, Honey." Honey growled and reached her paw over to Porcie, only to get it caught in a mousetrap. She growled in pain. "Oh no. One time, I got my hand stuck in a trap like that. If I ever find out who put that lip gloss tube there..." Lindsay growled. Porcie attempted to walk forward, but he got his foot stuck in the same mousetrap. Then, a giant mousetrap came down and landed on Honey, causing Porcie to laugh. "Look out, Honey!" Lindsay yelled. Then, another giant mousetrap attached itself to the house. "Look out, house!" she added. Following this, a giant mousetrap fell on the Earth. "Look out, world! Look out!" The planet ended up splitting in two. "Well, I guess we live in a duplex now." Lindsay said.
It looked like Honey had won the battle. However, Porcie hopped on a rocket and managed to snag Honey's food. "Rockets? Cool!" Lindsay narrated. Angered by Porcie, Honey hopped into a rocket of her own and chased after the bunny. "Boy oh boy! Nature isn't boring. It's got chase scenes." Lindsay narrated. Porcie and Honey continued to chase each other.
Marie paused the video. "All right, Lindsay. Ready to host yet? It's almost the top of the hour and you still gotta plug the sponsors." Marie begged. Lindsay, meanwhile, was busy constructing her own rocket. "I'm not plugging anything except my mouth with ice cream." Lindsay responded as she poured glue on the rocket. "Fine! I guess I'll shoot some guest spots as filler." Marie said as she walked away with the camera. Lindsay continued to edit her rocket, stuffing TNT into the engine. Meanwhile, Marie went into the kitchen, and Kelly was there getting something out of the fridge. "Hey, Mom. Do you have any enemies?" Marie asked. Kelly pulled out a box from the fridge. "Well, of course not dear. I love everybody!" Kelly said. She pulled a loaf of bread out of the box and stuck a piece of bread into the toaster. Strangely, the bread flew out from the toaster and stuck onto the ceiling. "Oh, but this toaster is really starting to TICK ME OFF!" Kelly yelled. She slammed the loaf into the toaster, but burnt pieces of toast immediately spewed out at random. One flew out of the window, and another landed on a family portrait. Kelly tried placing more bread into the toaster, but this time, she covered it with a plate. She waited a few seconds before taking the plate off the toaster. When she did though, a piece of bread spewed out of the cabinet drawer. She attempted to catch it, but she was outmatched. Eventually, she threw the toaster on the ground and destroyed it with a rolling pin. Just then, she realized something. "Oh, I see the problem now. I forgot to plug it in!" Kelly laughed as she plugged the toaster in. "Thanks for displaying grace under pressure, Mom." Marie said, sarcastically. "Oh, I always have Aunt Grace on display. No pressure needed." Kelly said. She then sat down and spread some butter on her toast.
Meanwhile, Lindsay was chasing after the Chubby Chunks truck on her rocket. The man was nervous, as Lindsay was catching up to him. "I'm gonna get your ice cream!" Lindsay declared. She managed to get close to the truck. She briefly grabbed the cone, but lost her grip, causing the rocket to spin. "If this keeps up, I'm gonna lose my lunch. I should've gotten something to tide over before I got the ice cream!" Lindsay yelled as the rocket continued on it's journey to catch the truck.
Marie began running around the house, looking for someone else to interview. She stopped at Grammy's room. When she opened the door, Grammy was breaking something with a hammer. "Grandma Louise? I'm doing a segment for Lindsay's show. Do you have any enemies?" Marie asked. Grammy dropped her hammer. "Enemies? At my age, your only enemy is time." Grammy said, holding up a broken alarm clock. "That's why I get symbolic satisfaction from smashing clocks. Now, grab a hammer and laugh in Father Time's face with me!" Grammy cheered. She picked up a mallet and smashed a nearby clock. Marie grabbed a baseball bat and joined in. The two began destroying various clocks in various methods, and they weren't being limited to alarm clocks. They destroyed grandfather clocks, cat clocks, pocket watches, analog watches, even Big Ben's clock! By the time they were done, there was a pile of gears in Grammy's room. "That'll learn 'em!" Grammy said. Suddenly, Lindsay's rocket burst through the wall, and Lindsay landed on the ground, breaking another clock. "Aww, what's the matter, sweetie?" Grammy asked. "That darn ice cream man won't give me any ice cream." Lindsay responded. Grammy thought. "Sounds like the non-dairy days of ice cream prohibition. Dark times, they were. I wrote about them in my memoir, Sweet Dreams."
Grammy began to think back in the 1930s, a time where ice cream was prohibited. "The lactose intolerance movement had just banned the sale of ice cream." Grammy said. During that time, she went to a place called The Salad Bar, the most unpopular restaurant in Aurora Falls (after Chef's Chum). "With every ice cream parlor closed, I started going to sweet-easies." she said. At sweet-easies, people could eat as much ice cream as they wanted, and no one would reprimand them. "But if they caught you with so much as a sample-sized scoop, they threw you in the slammer." Unfortunately, that night, the sweet-easy got busted by the movement. Along with many others, Grammy was arrested for ice cream possession. "The worst part, they would only feed you prunes! Still, that's where I learned to like prunes." Grammy added. "After my first taste of prunes in prison, they had become my favorite food. Prune pudding would be the only ice cream I ate from then on."
"Yep, in those days, you had to know someone who could get you the cold stuff on the sly." Grammy finished. "Hey, I know someones! Marie!" Lindsay cheered. She grabbed Marie's arm, and they headed straight towards the wall, breaking it again. "Wait! I meant I have... some... ice cream right here. Oh well." Grammy thought. Her alarm clock then pulled out a cone of purple ice cream with pink drizzle. She licked it happily. "Oh, prune flavored!" Grammy said, savoring the treat.
Outside, Lindsay jumped behind a bush as soon as the ice cream truck arrived. "Huh? Lindsay, what are you-" Marie began to ask, but Lindsay popped out of the bush. "Shh, it's coming!" she said before popping back into the bush. The ice cream truck then stopped. "Well, hello, young lady. Would you like some ice cream today?" the man asked. "Two choco chonko chubbies." Lindsay whispered. "Yeah, two choco chonko chubbies." Marie said. The man reached down and handed her two giant fudge pops. "That's an awful lot of ice cream for such a little girl." the man said. "Oh, the other one's not for me. It's for my big sister." Marie responded. Lindsay began to giggle, and the ice cream man realized what was happening. "Big sister? Oh, no." Lindsay jumped out of the bush and launched right at the man, sending ice cream treats flying. "Ice cream!" Lindsay cheered as she ate the choco chonko chubbies. She then got out and lifted the truck. "Ice cream!" She poured tubs of ice cream into her mouth, pushed the man out of the truck and began driving the car. "Lindsay, you don't even know how to drive!" Marie yelled. "I'll figure it out! Wheee!" Lindsay then drove away. "My Chunkermobile! Get back here!" the man said as he ran after the truck. Marie then picked up a Stars n' Stripes Pop next to her and began licking it. Just then, the toaster hopped on by. "I shouldn't have unplugged it!" Kelly said. She was chasing after the toaster as it spilled bread everywhere. Then, Father Time came and began throwing clocks at Grammy. "Laugh at Father Time's face, will ya?" he said as Grammy chortled. Then, if things couldn't get weirder, Honey Boo Boo and Porcie raced by in their rockets. Marie then remembered the camera. "Oh, uh... that's our show today. I hope you learned a lot about enemies. Or ice cream. Or toaster repair? See you next time on The Lindsay Siskin Show!" Marie cheered. A clock then flew her way. "I'm gonna head inside before things get weirder!" Marie said as she ran to the house. She was right. It had been weird that day, but it was just another normal day in Aurora Falls.
Thank you for reading this chapter! It was a bit of work with this one, but worth it. Also, remember Bert Simpleton back in Linds-a-thon? Well, he's returning next chapter, and he's gonna be having the role Fentin did! For those who haven't seen that episode, sorry if that's a spoiler! See you next time!