Author's Note: No real Nautiness in this chapter but there are STRONG references made! Plus a little curveball towards the end that I think who ever is reading this will enjoy! Speaking of...anyone know of a new place Xena fanfic is being posted besides AO3?
It hadn't been awkward.
Gabrielle was smiling as she watched Solan run a short distance from Joxer and pick up two sticks and run back towards him to 'play fight' like little boys are so use to doing.
Gabrielle couldn't help but laugh as Solan immediately got the upper hand and Joxer threw his stick down and picked a laughing Solan up and began to tickle him to 'win' the fight.
Xena laughed softly at the sight along with her heart expanding at the joy on her sons face, both she and Gabrielle smiling softly at the scene. Joxer finally placed Solan down and he quickly ran ahead to talk with Amarice who smiled and nudged him with her hip. Joxer grimaced the second Solan had run away and Xena and Gabrielle had watched him hold in his pain so Solan wouldn't feel as bad as he had that morning.
When Xena and she had told Solan that he needed a bath, they had all three gone down to the water and though he complained about the water being cold, he had not been disturbed when they had all three been naked and both she and Xena had scrubbed and washed his hair and skin.
Gabrielle's heart felt full every time he would call her 'mom' and she knew that though her heart ached when she thought about what had happened to cause this child's death...she was beyond grateful that he was in their lives once more.
But she could never admit to that out loud, because that would mean she would have to thank Elaine. And that was never going to happen.
Her eyes were staring at the back of Joxer's frame and suddenly her mind replayed the sounds she had heard and her body reacted to them yet again. Gabrielle closed her eyes as she rode Amber and shook her head trying to get rid of the memory of that morning.
But it was no use...her mind kept replaying the sound every time she stopped thinking about anything else.
It's not like she wanted to. Her body kept betraying her and every time her eyes would look at Elaine she clasped Amber's reigns tightly to stop from throwing a sai at the smiling face that walked right beside Joxer.
It seemed every time Joxer would finish saying something Elaine would kiss him, not in the least bit worried that anything would happen to her since Joxer was reciprocating the kisses.
That's what made Gabrielle's chest tighten.
Every time she would see his eyes light up as he looked over at Elaine...
It was one thing for Elaine to be the one to touch him, but watching him easily reciprocate it, made her insides hurt.
Jealous wasn't a strong enough word for how she felt every time Elaine touched him. Gabrielle wasn't IN love with Joxer...of course she wasn't! But...every time she saw his eyes light up after Elaine kissed him made her want to beat the woman to death and leave her on the side of the road for the vultures!
Because every time she relived that moment, the moment she had heard him...her mind betrayed her and pictured it. And her mind was vivid in trying to imagine the way Joxer would have looked.
A shiver went down her spine as she thought of it in that moment.
It wasn't...wrong...or...bad...to think of Joxer as a...man. It...was just new. And disturbing, and absolutely wrong of her!
Just then Elaine leaned over and whispered something as Joxer was grimacing and he laughed and she wrapped her arm around Joxer and without knowing it both Gabrielle and Xena's jaws and chests tightened as Elaine's hand was right on his left butt cheek and that's where it remained.
Anger coiled in Gabrielle's chest at the fact that Joxer just looked over and smirked at Elaine and leaned down to give her another kiss.
"You're amazing."
Gabrielle and Xena's chest tightened even more as the words left Joxer's mouth as he looked at Elaine.
Both in that moment wanting nothing more than to cut both hands off of the woman that was touching something that was theirs.
It was what they had agreed on at Aphrodite's temple. That the reason they couldn't stand Elaine was that she was taking what was obviously theirs! That Joxer one way or another was a part of them!
Gabrielle had warned Xena that if Elaine tried to do what she had that morning again she didn't care what Aphrodite said - she would end Elaine.
Xena had stared into her eyes for a minute. "Gabrielle she's going to do it again. As many times as she can because..." Xena had stopped and let out a sigh trying to explain to Gabrielle who had just one night with Perdicus to understand the physical pleasure a woman received by giving pleasure. Especially when love was there.
"She doesn't know him Xena! She's never seen him trip or fall or cause a commotion! She has no idea how annoying he can be or how much of a jerk he can be!" Gabrielle had tried to make Xena see that Elaine just didn't know the real Joxer.
But Xena had just looked at her sadly, as if she didn't know Joxer.
Which was just ridiculous because she knew Joxer better than Xena did! She just...didn't know details...that...he had never spoken about!
But she KNEW Joxer!
Xena had just looked at her shaking her head, as if she didn't want to tell her that she was wrong.
But she wasn't wrong. She was right!
They just had to get Elaine to see the side of Joxer that they constantly saw.
That's how they would get him back!
They'd have to bid their time. They knew now that any kind of physical attack on Elaine would result in pushing Joxer further to Elaine. And that was not what they wanted.
Gabrielle knew it would work. It had to work.
Xena knew better though.
Xena knew the second she had seen the way Elaine had looked at Joxer the first time they met each other on the side of the road. Elaine had kept her eyes on Joxer...and Xena had watched Joxer the entire time as he had not looked away from Elaine either. After what had happened at the temple, she knew he was hurt and trying to find a way to be around Gabrielle.
Elaine had been a distraction that at first she had thought would do both Joxer and Gabrielle good.
Then Elaine had kissed him within hours of meeting him...and Xena had known that Elaine was not unfamiliar with taking a man the first day of meeting him. Elaine exuded a confidence she hadn't been able to pinpoint.
She never could have imagined what Elaine had told them, but it didn't stop the fact that Elaine had absolutely no qualms about using sex and her body to seduce Joxer immediately.
Every time Xena heard Elaine say his name she grimaced. Watching the two together made something in Xena's stomach sour. As if just the sight made her insides want to revolt.
And now Xena couldn't explain why every time Elaine touched him she wanted to rip off the woman's head and cut her hands off.
Surely it could be any other woman in the world and she wouldn't feel this way.
Her damn hand had not moved from his butt!
It stayed as they walked and Xena snarled at the sight, Elaine knew they were behind them watching what she did. She was doing it on purpose, flaunting the fact that she could do what she pleased and they could do nothing but watch.
Xena had had enough.
Nudging Argo a little she made her way to the front of their little party and quickly dismounted Argo and turned to her son.
"Solan I want you to ride on Argo for a little while. She's been my baby before even you were born!" Xena said with a smile and at that Argo turned her head and puffing out air flicked her tail at Xena's head.
"Yeah, yeah..." Xena said with humor as Solan laughed as well.
"Can Uncle Joxer ride her with me?" Solan asked immediately and turned to look at Joxer who suddenly looked scared.
"Umm...Solan...Joxer's frightened of horses. I don't think he'd feel comfortable up there right now because of...well...how he's still recovering." Elaine said as she finally moved her hand from Joxer's bum and gave a little shrug to Solan.
Solan looked at Joxer. Joxer looked between him and Argo and let out a huge breath and nodded his head.
"If you want me to ride her with you I will."
Elaine turned shocked eyes on Joxer. "Really?! You'd...you'd ride...a horse...for Solan?"
Joxer swallowed slowly and nodded his head while looking between Solan, Xena, and Argo.
"Argo's not just...a horse!" Xena said the last two words in disdain while looking at Elaine.
Elaine's eyes just turned and glared at Xena. "Til yesterday morning did you ever offer Joxer to ride on Argo?"
Xena glared back at Elaine as the want to kill the girl resurged through her system.
"If Uncle Joxer doesn't want to..." Solan moved back from his mother and Joxer was in a second behind him.
"No...it's ok. I can do it." Joxer said looking down into Solan's eyes as he looked up at him with his bright blue eyes.
Xena was...well...a little impressed that Joxer was actually willing to get on Argo but tried to keep the shock from her face. She gave Joxer a look and he just gave her a small nod.
Xena turned and was about to help Solan up when Joxer held out his arm with a grimace for Xena to step aside. Xena gave him a questioning look but...she moved so he could get along side Argo.
Xena watched with a furrowed brow as Joxer patted down Argo's mane and slowly began to make his way over to Argo's head, patting her neck slowly with the hand that yesterday had almost killed a man and made a motion down Argo's leg and bent her leg back.
Xena's eyes widened as she watched Argo begin to lie down, her eyes then landed on Joxer in slack jawed disbelief as he lifted Solan onto Argo first grimacing as he did so.
Xena's eyes went back and forth between Argo and Joxer who had mounted Argo as she lay down, and even knowing mounting a horse as it lay down was more awkward, she was beyond dumbfounded that he knew how to get Argo to do it.
Elaine laughed as Argo stood up with both Solan and Joxer and began to move Argo down the path as if he had done so thousands of times.
"I forgot his father rode chariots. Well until his father left and then his father's creditors killed his mom." Elaine said causing Amarice, Armand and Xena to look at Elaine in shock at the information that they had never heard.
"Maybe that's the real reason he doesn't like horses." Elaine said outloud more to herself than to anyone.
Xena then turned and watched as Joxer, almost with an expertise that she never would have thought began to maneuver Argo and then suddenly with a motion with Joxer's legs Argo took off.
"WOOOHOOOO!" Solan yelled out. "YEAH!"
Xena just watched in shock as Argo obeyed Joxer's little gestures and the way his rhythmed gait with Argo's stride was almost perfect.
"And that ladies and gentlemen is why Joxer is called 'the Mighty' by Meg's girls!" Elaine said as she watched Joxer ride the horse.
"Ewwww." Amarice said immediately and glared at Elaine. Armand laughed until he saw the scowl Xena looked over at Elaine with.
Elaine just rolled her eyes at Xena. "Well it makes more sense now doesn't it?!"
Xena felt another bolt of jealousy go through her with what Elaine said, and unfortunately it displayed a very accurate summation of exactly the activity Xena had been trying to avoid at all costs of associating with Joxer.
Now her mind had an incredibly accurate visual that it was going to play on loop with the noises she had heard this morning. Just what a pregnant woman needed!
Xena fought the flush Elaine's words produced and tried not to openly stare at Joxer as he kept a firm hold of Argo between his thighs and...
Xena quickly moved towards Gabrielle and her horse and quickly without words mounted Amber behind Gabrielle.
"What was that all about?" Gabrielle asked, thankfully not hearing what Elaine had said.
"Just get after him!" Xena said and with a motion of her own legs and a 'YA' had Amber vaulting after Joxer and Solan, leaving Armand and Amarice behind without too much worry. Instead her mind on making sure Solan was safe on the horse with Joxer.
When Gabrielle finally caught up with Joxer and she looked at him riding Argo with a grace she had never even seen Xena ride, she couldn't believe that Joxer...JOXER of all people was riding like...like he was born on a saddle.
"WOAH!" Joxer said suddenly and quickly had Argo come to a stop.
When Gabrielle and Xena stopped alongside Joxer both looked at him as if they had been deceived.
"What was that?!" Xena asked in shock to Joxer, never in a million years would she have EVER thought Joxer knew how to ride like that.
Joxer didn't say anything...just took a second and then dismounted Argo with a huge grimace on his face.
Solan's smiling face falling as he looked down at the upset face of his Uncle.
"I think it'd be better if you rode with your mom." Joxer said and seeing the look of disappointment on Solan's face Joxer smirked. "Yah know...learn from the best."
Solan looked at Joxer for a few seconds before nodding his head with a sort of sad face.
"Good. Kay." Joxer said and with that patted Solan on the leg and then began walking back towards Elaine.
Solan turned and watched him walk back to Elaine. Xena and Gabrielle also watched, not sure what had just happened.
"Xena..." Gabrielle whispered, not knowing why watching Joxer walk away from them made everything in her tremble in fear.
"I know." Xena whispered back as she watched Joxer walk away. Then letting out a sigh she dismounted Amber.
When Joxer reached Elaine he immediately gave her a slow kiss and looked in her eyes and Elaine saw it immediately.
The sadness from yesterday. It was there again. She could tell that being on Argo had brought back thoughts from yesterday, and she didn't know what to say, so instead she kissed him long and slow.
Joxer leaned his forehead against her and just stayed pressed with her, not moving and letting his heart try and recover from the thoughts that had just plagued him.
Amarice and Armand said nothing and continued walking, not knowing what had happened, but after yesterday even Amarice felt she couldn't make fun of Joxer ever again.
"You ok?" Elaine whispered and looked up into his brown eyes that look soo wounded.
"Just...yah know...she never asked me..." Joxer whispered to Elaine.
Elaine understood and nodded her head slightly. Xena had never asked Joxer about...anything...and he just assumed that...she didn't care.
If she had ever bothered asking she would have found out that though Joxer had limited abilities...he had grown up around Chariot Races because of his father.
He had been around gambling halls and anything his father could have placed money on to race his chariot.
Until the day his father had been imprisoned, and they had come after his mother for the money he owed.
Killed...because of money.
Elaine knew all of this, but the why of him being afraid was the question apparently she didn't have an answer for as he kissed her again and pulled away and immediately slouched.
"Joxer...you know you can tell me anything in the world right? I...I'm here for you. No matter what!" Elaine said as she caressed his face and pushed back his hair. Wondering if she could make him understand. Wondering if she could share with him that noone could be as messed up as her and her 'family.'
Gabrielle felt her hands tighten on Amber's reigns once more as she watched the two.
Xena could barely make her eyes look at the two as she made her way over to Argo and mounted up on her. Inside she knew it shouldn't have hurt so much that Joxer hadn't responded to her, but Joxer had always talked with her. There had never been a time when she thought she wouldn't be able to talk with him.
Xena barely glanced up and watched as Elaine kissed Joxer again and Xena knew that tonight she was going to have to keep Elaine away from Joxer...because she had a look in her eyes that said she would lay Joxer down in front of them if she could.
And the weight on her chest from earlier was suddenly back. And she couldn't...
"Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound.." Elaine began to sing softly to Joxer who looked at her confused.
"Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down," Elaine sang in Joxer's face. Seeing how he understood the song, somehow translating perfectly for her.
"I hear glasses breakin' as I sit up in my bed, I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said" Elaine continued singing looking at Joxer to let him know she understood there was really bad things that had happened to him.
"You fight about money, bout me and my brother, and this I come home to, this is my shelter," Elaine saw him take in a breath and hold it at these words.
"It ain't easy growin up in World War three, never knowin what love could be, you'll see - I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family," Elaine pulled back from Joxer and began to walk with him.
"Can we work it out? Can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything, Can we work it out? Can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave," Elaine looked at Joxer then to show him how messed up it was that even with what her father had done to her...she had not wanted him to go.
"Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound, Make mama stop cryin, cause I need you around, My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true," Elaine sang the song not looking at Joxer as she remembered the first time she heard the song and had felt every word hit her.
"I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you, too," Elaine felt the tears in her eyes.
Armand and Amarice didn't know what to say as they heard the words and understood that this song was highly intimate.
"I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away! Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way!" Elaine shook her head and looked at Joxer then with the tears in her eyes.
"In our family portrait, we look pretty happy, Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally," Elaine looked at Joxer and let him know with her eyes...that she knew that's what he had always done. He played pretend...hoping it would come naturally.
"In our family portrait we look pretty happy, We look pretty normal, let's go back to that! In our family portrait we look pretty happy, Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally" Elaine repeated the chorus of the song.
"Mom will be nicer, I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother, Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner, I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right, I'll be your little girl forever, I'll go to sleep at night." Elaine stopped singing the words just as Joxer and she passed Gabrielle on her horse who looked stunned by Elaine's song as did Xena who's heart had tightened for Elaine in a way she hadn't felt yet.
Neither Gabrielle or Xena had every experienced a horrible family life, and didn't know how to respond to hearing anything as tragic as someone who was touched by her own family still feel the tug of wanting that family together.
Both Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other in that moment and for the first time in two days, they knew Elaine had a similar life to Joxer and neither of them had put two and two together until that moment.
Turning their heads they watched Joxer clasp his hand tightly with Elaine's even though it probably hurt him to so, and both could feel nothing but pain that either of them had ever had to experience such grief in their own homes.
Solan watched Joxer and Elaine walk ahead of him and after hearing Elaine sing...knew exactly how she felt.
Without another thought he got off of Argo and ran the short distance and without thought wrapped his arms around Elaine from behind.
Elaine laughed at the sudden attack and quickly embraced Solan back and pushed his long hair back from his face.
"Sorry about that munchkin! I forget you're around and I think about things I shouldn't." Elaine said.
Solan didn't know a word she had said but just smirked. "I just want you to know I'm here too. If you need to talk."
Elaine looked up and shared a look and a smirk with Joxer.
"That a boy..." Joxer said with his face dissolving into a smile as he looked at Solan with pride.
Solan just smiled back at Joxer and Joxer placed his hand ontop of Solan's head and moved Solan's head around in a show of his pride which made Solan smile even more.
"You know...I did say we needed to cut your hair didn't I?!" Elaine said as she continued to be held by Solan as they walked, completely comfortable as she played with his long sun bleached hair.
Solan grimaced and Elaine caught it. "Oh! You don't want to shorten your hair huh?"
"I don't know...no one's ever cut it before." Solan admitted as they continued to walk in an embrace.
"Well did you like what I did with Discord's hair?" Elaine asked with a smile.
Solan slightly blushed. "She looks beautiful."
Both Joxer and Elaine laughed.
"I thought silver hair was for really old people...but...with her black hair and the silver..." Solan blushed a little more and looked down.
"Well...changing her from long hair and doing a longer pixie hair cut with those two colors makes her look very...fetching!" Elaine smiled widely and tried not to laugh at the obvious crush Solan seemed to have developed.
It was beyond adorable and gave Elaine a glimpse that what had happened to Solan had not warped his own likes and dislikes. She knew how incredibly hard that was.
"But...for you...I think just cutting your hair will make you feel like a new you! What do you think?!" Elaine asked bouncing her eyebrows.
Solan pursed his lips to the side and tried to fight a smile, and it looked soo much like Joxer that even Elaine was surprised by it.
"Alright." Solan said and then just gave Elaine a smile.
"Good. Now we need to invite Aphrodite because she'd never forgive me if I had a makeover without her!" Elaine said with a laugh.
"ExSQueeze me! Makeover!?"
Elaine silently laughed and nudged Solan who also smiled widely at the voice that came without actually seeing her yet.
Then Aphrodite materialize right in front of them. With a mock glare and with hands on her hips she looked at Solan.
"You weren't going to have a makeover without me were you cutie?!" Aphrodite asked and then gave a huge smile showing all her teeth to show she really wasn't angry.
"Never!" Solan said shaking his head. Elaine pushed Solan into Aphrodite's body and she laughed as she hugged the ten year old to her.
"Well alright then! Guess it means we're going to the spa!" Aphrodite squealed a little at the idea.
"Can we have Apollo come with us? I liked it when he was talking to me about the...planets." Solan asked and Aphrodite pouted.
"You want to learn stuff instead of having fun?!"
"Hey! Learning stuff IS having fun!" Elaine admonished Aphrodite.
Aphrodite just rocked a little and then shrugged. "Ok he can come too."
Solan smiled widely at Aphrodite and the pink wearing goddess couldn't have resisted that cute smile even if she had wanted to.
Elaine turned her head and looked up at Xena. "Are you ok with it Xena? I figured while we have Aphrodite willing to do her fashion thing we might get Solan some new clothes."
"Ohhhh! Clothes too?! This is going to be FAB!" Aphrodite's squeal again made Elaine roll her eyes at what entertained the 'goddess'.
"That's alright. Why don't you go too?!" Xena said with a flick of her eyes towards Aphrodite.
Elaine knew what Xena was trying to do and just smirked and turned to look at Joxer.
"Do you wanna go shopping with me and Aphrodite?" Elaine asked causing Xena's scowl to return and her eyes to flash her anger.
Unfortunately Solan saw it and looked at his mother and then between Elaine and Joxer and looked back at his mother.
He was still a little boy, but he could tell immediately that she was jealous.
Xena saw the curious look Solan was now giving her, and weirdly felt like she had been caught doing something and her eyes shifted away from her son, fighting the very real sensation of blushing.
Solan looked between Elaine and Joxer and suddenly realized why his mother didn't like Elaine.
He loved his Uncle Joxer. And maybe his mother did too...but...why was Elaine with him? Solan knew he wasn't his real Uncle and if his mother felt like Elaine did...
"Ok sweetpea! We better get this show on the road!" Aphrodite said hearing Solan's thoughts and knowing that dangerous thoughts were forming in that little mind of his.
Before Xena or Gabrielle could say anything Aphrodite, Solan, Elaine and Joxer were gone.
"Great idea Xena..." Gabrielle looked over at Xena with a scowl on her face.
"Yeah well I didn't see you trying anything..." Xena said immediately and not wanting Gabrielle to see that she was angry at herself too made Argo start moving forward.
"Knocking her unconscious and leaving her for dead is better then sending her WITH him where we can't WATCH them!" Gabrielle barely kept herself from yelling.
The idea of only Aphrodite being around to keep Elaine in check wasn't as Gabrielle thought since she herself had been warning them about almost losing Joxer, but it didn't matter.
Gabrielle wanted to know where Elaine was at all times!
She didn't want her to have ANY opportunity to even TOUCH Joxer let alone be with him for Gods knew how many hours!
Suddenly Elaine was back with Aphrodite.
"Hey doll face! You're getting a makeover too!" Aphrodite and Elaine stared at Amarice.
"What?!" Amarice said with a look of shock on her face.
"Hey! If Hera says you need a makeover...that means you NEED a makeover!" Elaine said with a side look to Aphrodite.
"Mom hasn't changed her look in centuries!" Aphrodite said with a grimace and a pointed look at Amarice's outfit.
"Ahhh..." Amarice felt trapped, especially when Xena spoke next.
"Go ahead Amarice. At least you can make sure everyone is...safe." Xena said giving Amarice a look that indicated she WAS going whether she wanted to or not.
Amarice would have groaned out loud if it wasn't for the death glare Xena was giving her. Allowing herself to gulp one last time...Amarice turned and gave a huge fake smile to the two women.
"Now THIS is going to be fun!" Aphrodite said, and with a hand movement the three were gone.
"There! Now Amarice will make sure Elaine stays away from Joxer." Xena said with a little victory smile.
"Uh Xena...I think you're forgetting something..." Armand said causing both Gabrielle and Xena to look at the only male in their party.
"Oh yeah...and what's that?" Xena said still smiling her little victory smile and waited for Armand to stop walking next to Argo and turned to look straight up at her.
"Well...Amarice can keep Elaine away from Joxer...but what's going to keep Joxer away from Elaine?" Armand said with both eyebrows raised and a pointed look at Xena.
He was no fool. He knew that these two women had absolutely no clue how jealous they were of another woman stealing Joxer from them. Never in a million years would he have thought a guy like Joxer could capture the hearts of two of the most extraordinary women HE had ever met...but the fact that though older than he...they couldn't admit it to themselves...let alone someone else.
So Armand had kept his mouth shut, until he realized that both Xena and Gabrielle hadn't noticed what he had.
Joxer wasn't just reciprocating the affection being given to him.
Oh no. It was worse than that.
Joxer...was falling in love with Elaine.
And both women didn't see it. If anything...they were oblivious to it.
Xena's smiling face fell as she stared at Armand.
Armand tilted his head more in a 'that's all I'm saying' kind of way and then turned and left both Gabrielle and Xena gobsmacked to stare after him.
Aphrodite knew the second Solan saw all of the bubbles he would be enraptured with the little set up she had done.
Of course she had immediately placed him in front of a mirror and with her hand spreading through his hair had gone through about a dozen hair cuts before everyone agreed that he looked his most adorable with faux hawk fade.
"Look at these dimples!" Aphrodite said pressing her fingers into said dimples making Solan smile even more.
"Here's our little cutie!" Elaine said as she wrapped her arms around him and looked in the mirror at him.
"Now we need to get you some new clothes to go with this stylish new you!" Elaine winked at him in the mirror and Joxer couldn't help but think how incredible she was. Looking and caring for Solan like he was her own.
She showed him affection without being awkward. She was...something special.
Aphrodite could feel what Joxer was feeling and knew she had to jump on the Joxer update as fast as she could.
Maybe...if she made him look hot enough both Xena and Gabrielle would finally pull their heads out of the sand and get their stuff together.
Joxer may have been a dope...but he was their dope! And unfortunately that was changing fast!
"What about you Joxer? Now that you're not wearing that helmet you're gonna get that nasty burn you use to get on your neck." Aphrodite said and Joxer did a double take at the goddess.
"How do you..."
"Fashion Joxer! It's kind of my thing!" Aphrodite said crossing her arms and shrugging.
"Umm...ww...wweelll..." Joxer uncomfortable suddenly jittery with the scrutiny of everyone's eyes on him.
"Can't make you look any worse!" Amarice smarted off with a smirk. Of course the didn't expect the glare she received from Aphrodite.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Elaine asked turning from Solan and glaring at Amarice herself.
Amarice laughed. "Look at him! He looks ridiculous and looked worse when he HAD armor on!"
"Hey! Joxer's a doll and I don't care how he dresses himself. I care that he feels good about himself! The same way you lied about being an Amazon to be part of something - that was to make yourself feel good! Joxer may not need that..."
"I need that." Joxer whispered out, looking at the ground and messing with the one glove he had.
Everyone was suddenly looking at Joxer, who didn't lift his head up as he felt everyone looking and couldn't face anyone after his admission.
"Joxer honey...are you...are you saying you're not happy with the way you look?" Aphrodite asked softly and kind of shocked with how he normally puffed himself up. Especially around women.
"I...I know I'm...not good looking..." Joxer started and Elaine laughed immediately.
"Baby you are a fine specimen of man. You're different babe...and that's what makes you incredible to me." Elaine said finally moving towards him, but he still didn't look up.
"Joxer...you are handsome. You are sooo handsome that Meg thinks you're cute! And she's identical to Xena! She could have her pick of men...and she's attracted to you baby." Elaine said as he continued to look down with rampant thoughts of being not enough.
"Elaine's telling the truth Joxer! Meg could get ANY man she wants but...she likes you! She REALLY likes you." Aphrodite said knowing that Joxer had been with Meg many times and how no words of love had ever been exchanged. But Meg did feel that way about Joxer...but she knew his heart belonged to Gabrielle...so she said nothing.
"Yeah but you heard Amarice. I..." Joxer stopped talking and Amarice suddenly realized that he had taken her seriously.
"Joxer...I didn't mean your not good looking." Amarice said suddenly causing Joxer to look up quickly in shock at Amarice.
"I mean...you...you look...Joxer you look like you're trying too hard to be something you're not!" Amarice finally exploded with her hands throwing up in the air.
"You think I don't know that?!" Joxer exploded himself as he glared at Amarice.
"You think I don't wake up everyday and think...'try not to be useless Joxer'...you think I didn't know how useless I was when we had to take their bodies dow..." Joxer stopped talking as he suddenly had a lump in his throat and he turned and walked away and Elaine immediately was behind him and stopped as she realized he was crying and wanted to be alone.
Amarice looked at anywhere but at Joxer as he left, understanding flashing in her mind.
"Hey! You dress for success! Joxer dressed..." Aphrodite tried to
"It's all he owns Aphrodite!" Elaine finally screamed out and whirled to look at everyone."Don't you get it?! Does he have to come out and say that his family was left penniless! Everything he has on him is everything he has! That armor...the armor he threw away outside of Spamona?! That armor is made from his mother's things! His helmet was probably a basket she used! Everything he had of her was in that armor! That's why he wore it! That's why when he looks at Solan he knows EXACTLY how he feels!" Elaine's rant stopped as by the time she finished she was crying herself.
Apollo and Aphrodite exchanged a look, neither of them having even realized anything that Elaine was telling them. Amarice just looked like she was in total shock at not having noticed it.
"Pots and pans..." Amarice whispered and closed her eyes as she now saw it clearly.
"Yeah! That's why he knows how to cook Amarice! He learned it as a boy from his mother! And do you have any idea how alone a little boy has to be for his mother to teach him to cook in a city like Athens?! Do have any idea how the children were cruel to him?! Stealing his toys...making fun of him?! How his own father and brother tormented him?!" Elaine just glared at Amarice, who not only felt like she deserved to be chastised, but now understood why Elaine had sung that song to Joxer.
Elaine noticed how Amarice winced at the word 'tormented' and knew she had finally scraped off enough gunk from her eyes that she understood why insulting the way Joxer dressed was incredibly personal.
"I didn't know..." Amarice whispered and looked up at Elaine truly sorry for not having thought before she spoke. For not thinking at all when it came to Joxer.
Elaine remained quiet for a second and then she finally noticed how Solan was not there and turned and knew that during her rant he had gone to look for Joxer.
"We didn't know either..." Aphrodite whispered with a look of sympathy on her face and a look at Apollo.
Apollo looked at Elaine and with a motion of his head said, "I'm gonna go see if I can find them."
With that he disappeared in a shower of yellow sparkles.
"Elaine honey...you...you really do see him don't you?" Aphrodite whispered in sort of mild wonder.
Elaine gave a sad laugh. "Aphrodite...why do you think your mother gave him that ring?"
Aphrodite tilted her head at the question, not expecting it at all.
Elaine looked between Aphrodite and Amarice. "Because Joxer loves them soo much...she knew the only way to sever his love for them...would be magic!"
Aphrodite jerked her head back and just stared at Elaine in shock.
Elaine laughed again with a bit more humor this time. "See...you...and them...worrying how I'm going to sever the connection between them all...it could never happen! And Hera knew it the second she looked INTO his soul! She knew then that when Joxer loves...he loves with EVERY thing in him. So..." Elaine was still crying slightly and just shook her head and looked down to the marble floor.
"So don't worry about ME doing anything with Joxer! It won't change how he feels about them! It will never change how he feels about THEM! Because a man willing to risk his own death to carry bodies back to be buried...he's not going to just let go of them Aphrodite! They'll have to rip his heart out before he would ever do that! But..." Elaine paused as she looked at Aphrodite, still crying and sniffling like crazy.
"But it's Gabrielle and Xena...so..." Elaine said nodding her head and sniffling, "so when it does happen...I'm going to be there."
Elaine then looked at Amarice. "I'll be there to pick up the pieces when they do."
Amarice just stared at Elaine shocked and truly humbled at the same time. She had never known that Joxer shared a similar story to her own and...it made her feel like a hypocrite. And...Elaine...loved him.
It kind of...really shocked Amarice as she looked at Elaine. She...wholeheartedly...loved...Joxer! And...Amarice didn't know if she could 'keep them safe' like Xena had been hinting at. Because now that she knew that Elaine ACTUALLY loved him it...it made her feel horrible to stop them from being happy.
"I'll..." Amarice swallowed down the lump in her throat, "I'll be there too...if...if he...if he wants me to be there as...as a friend." Amarice said the last word with a little humility.
Elaine had stopped crying and gave a sad smile to Amarice.
"I don't think I ever heard you call him a friend the entire time you two have known each other." Elaine said without accusation in her voice.
Amarice just shrugged one shoulder. "I never really had any...guy...friends."
Elaine laughed and looked at the ground again then back up. "Armand is a guy...friend."
Amarice blushed and it was a sight to see.
Both Aphrodite and Elaine laughed at the blush and Amarice let out a laugh of her own.
"Yeah...he is...but...I don't think of Joxer..." Amarice began and Elaine held up a hand.
"Don't worry. I know you're not attracted to him. I'm kind of glad too! The amount of women that are going to be hitting on him in the next couple of months is going to drive me insane!" Elaine said as she looked over at Aphrodite.
"Hey it's not my fault he's such a cutie! It's that goofy little grin of his that gets him all the action!" Aphrodite threw up her own hands to show she had absolutely no fault in the women that threw themselves at Joxer.
Elaine just glared at Aphrodite. "You know...Xena and Gabrielle may be oblivious to the fact that you've had sex with him,"
Aphrodite's shocked and horrified face was mimicked by Amarice who did NOT expect this at all.
"But I know EXACTLY why you always called him Studmuffin!" Elaine gave Aphrodite a glare.
Suddenly there was a quiet in that room that was just stifling.
"Please don't tell Xena!" Aphrodite finally gasped out.
Elaine rolled her eyes. "Relax! I won't tell Xena OR Gabrielle! Since if Gabrielle found out she'd want you dead for betraying her more than anything."
Aphrodite said nothing as she realized that Elaine actually thought Gabrielle wasn't in love with Joxer. Which was WAY good for Aphrodite. WAY good! And she seemed to think Xena would be less mad...also...VERY good.
Elaine pointed at Amarice. "You should be worried about that one spilling the beans."
"No WAY! I'm not going to be the bearer of THAT news! No way no how!" Amarice said immediately.
Elaine immediately started laughing and it took a second but then they were all laughing.
It took a good minute before the laughing died down and then Aphrodite just looked at Elaine in kind of wonder. The mortal woman was truly one of the few people she had ever met that just...GOT her and didn't judge or get angry or...
"You really are incredible you know that?" Aphrodite said with an affection in her voice that Elaine felt in her heart.
"Just tell me...how GOOD is he?!" Elaine said squeezing her hands and bringing her arms up and shaking them.
Aphrodite laughed and then trying to stop the smile said, "If I called him stallion women would be jumping on him day and night!"
Amarice's mouth dropped open in shock and Elaine started whimpering and slid down onto the floor.
"Why are you doing this to me?!" Elaine whimpered pitifully making both women laugh again.
"Are you ok?!" Joxer's voice came from the doorway.
"NO! I'm frustrated and I'm being punished by two women that shaped me into the person I am!" Elaine said as Joxer, Solan, and Apollo walked back into the temple.
"Umm...I'm...sorry?!" Joxer said with a face that said he had absolutely no idea what she was saying.
"It's ok. All good things to those who wait." Elaine said as she looked up at Joxer and Solan who was being held against Joxer's front as they looked down at Elaine.
Elaine smiled at Solan who in turn smiled back at her. Reaching up a hand towards Solan, the young boy grabbed her with both hands and helped her up.
"Ok! Now that this one has had his new hairstyle, I think it's time he found some new clothes! Aphrodite...you think you can find him something?" Elaine asked as held his chin between two of her fingers against and gave him a little wink.
"Oh I have a few ideas." Aphrodite said with a true smile gracing her face.
Solan smiled at Elaine. He couldn't help but love Elaine. His mother may have been jealous of her but Elaine brought them together again. She was good...and fun!
Elaine crossed her eyes to make Solan laugh, which he did, and then kissed his forehead.
"Go on munchkin.."
"That doesn't translate!" Aphrodite said making Elaine look at her and then back at Solan.
"It means little one. Because you are our little one! At least until your sister is born! And then you're going to be one of the most over protective big brother this world has ever seen!" Elaine smiled widely and cupped his face with her hand.
"I like...munchkin." Solan said the word in English which kind of stunned Elaine for a minute but then a huge smile spread across her face.
"Well it looks like someone might be good at picking up languages! How about I teach you how to speak English and then we can talk secretly without your mom's knowing." Elaine bounced her eyebrows.
Solan looked happy at the thought and nodded his head.
"Good! I can teach you some other stuff too if you want. Maybe some math and science! Apollo you wouldn't mind teaching him some things would you?" Elaine looking over at Apollo causing everyone else to as well.
"I don't see why not." Apollo said while looking at Elaine and then back at Solan. "He seems like a bright enough boy."
"Oh he is!" Elaine said looking back at Solan and smiling.
Elaine then looked at Joxer, who seemed to be in better spirits, and reached up and cupped his face.
"And you need to know that if you are not happy with yourself, you can change! But it has to be because YOU want to change. Not for anyone else...but yourself!" Elaine stressing the last two words.
"Yeah but...I...I do want to. I just...I know I'm not a warrior..."
"Yes you are! But no one's taught you how to at least defend yourself." Elaine immediately cut Joxer off and then it was like a lightbulb went off in her head. A small smile spread onto her face.
"I can soo do the Karate Kid, Rocky thing with you! Ohhhh now that would soo be worth seeing Xena and Gabrielle's face when I can teach you to defend yourself while they wouldn't even train with you!" Elaine said as she looked at Joxer...but not AT Joxer as her mind was formulating a plan.
"OHHHH! Now that I can't wait to see!" Apollo said as he looked suddenly shocked and happily surprised between Joxer and Elaine.
"Ahhh...you mean like...teach me to fight?!" Joxer's furrowed brow and confusion clearly seen on his face.
Elaine smirked. "Trust me Joxer I know how to fight! But what I'm talking about means that..." A huge smile bloomed from her smirk and simply said...
"They won't know what hit em'."
Author's Note: Pink's Family Portrait was used in this chapter, a little deconstructed to fit my story a little, but the original song is a little too long for what I needed. PLEASE review! Anything helps get the juices flowing!