Chapter 21: Tony & Angela

"You really don't know?" Tony asked.

"I have a few ideas," Angela said with a smile. "But honestly, I'm not sure, for you, when that one specific instance was?"

"Well," Tony said putting his eyes back on the road. "Like I said last night, there was definitely more than one occasion over those first seven years of our relationship when I wish I'd spoken up sooner. But, the definitive one that I sometimes still wonder about is that night that Sam went to prom with Jesse, and I tried to recreate your prom," he finished as the tips of his ears turned red.

"Oh Tony," Angela sighed as she thought back to that night and how Tony had her close her eyes as he guided her down the stairs and then how she had opened them to see that he had somehow magically transformed their living room into Tahitian Twilight II. He seemed so proud when she had looked back over at him unable to keep her emotions in check.

"That was such a memorable night. I still can't believe you did that for your 'boss,'" she said teasingly.

"I could hear in your voice how much you liked it," Tony said with a smile. "And then when we started dancing, I desperately wanted to tell you how I felt. I knew I was in love with you, and I had realized that I was finally in a place in my life where maybe we could make it work and where I felt like I might have something to offer you at some point. I mean, over those first four years, we dealt with the Geoffrey's/Jeffrey's and the Genevieve's, Frankie's, Gina's and Tanya's (yikes, he thought to himself, he really had been trying to sublimate his feelings for Angela with a host of other women), me accidentally seeing you naked, managing to platonically share a bed twice, once in Sam's room and then in that dingy motel, our unconscious confessions of love, being trapped on a billboard together for a night and navigating lots of challenging parenting situations together; all while slowly becoming each other's best friend along the way. I knew then that I couldn't imagine my life without you in it, and since the kids were getting older, and we each had built our own relationship with them by then, that particular obstacle didn't seem to be in the way anymore. And, by that point, I knew that I was going to college in the fall, so I finally felt that I had a direction and purpose beyond being Sam's dad and your housekeeper."

Sighing again, Angela reached over and squeezed his right forearm. "That's one of the times I think about too and wish that I had said something. You're right; we had already been through so much together and were in a very good place; it could have been the perfect opportunity to take that next step. However, I still had that nagging little voice in my head telling me to not take the chance of ruining the wonderful friendship we had. I knew I couldn't bear it if it didn't work out, and we had to break up our little family, and I never saw you again."

"However," Angela continued with a coy little smile on her face. "You do remember the rest of that night don't you? I mean, we may not have said anything with words but our actions spoke volumes I thought."

Tony's thoughts returned to that night as a smile slowly spread across his face. That was true. They hadn't said how they were feeling, but they sure as hell had demonstrated it. He remembered how, after they had been dancing for awhile, and with Angela's head resting on his shoulder, he had brushed his lips against her forehead. That seemed to be all the invitation Angela needed and suddenly her tongue was in his mouth, and they were kissing passionately. And then somehow, they were laying on the couch that had been pushed to the side of the room and he was on top of her still kissing her, with his hands in her hair, while her fingers lightly grazed his back. Soon he had the tie to her bathrobe undone and his hands had unbuttoned her silk pajama top and were sliding up her ribcage towards her breasts. And then he was caressing and kissing her as she moaned in approval. It was a very good thing that Sam was out, Jonathan was at a friend's house, and Mona was entertaining a gentleman friend in her apartment.

Angela had pulled his green sweatshirt up and over his head and tossed it to the floor, her breasts now pressed up against his bare chest while her hands were on the button to his jeans when he suddenly came out of his passion-induced haze. If he couldn't even tell Angela how he felt was it really the right time for them to have sex? That would profoundly change their relationship no matter what. So, he sat up, bringing Angela with him, and as soon as their breathing had calmed and they had covered themselves back up, they had agreed that they couldn't risk one night of passion (or maybe a few nights of passion) before they knew where their relationship was going.

"Tony," Angela said interrupting his thoughts bringing him back to the present as he navigated the Jeep through their neighborhood in Brooklyn Heights. "I take it you do remember?"

With a chuckle, Tony said, "Of course I do. And while I know we felt we were making the right decision at the time, I still can't help but look back and wonder what if?"

"I know," Angela said with a sigh. "I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had just given in. I mean, we were basically standing on the precipice at that point. Maybe I wouldn't have embarrassed myself a few weeks later by calling your name in my sleep while I was dreaming about continuing what we started that night."

"You didn't embarrass yourself," Tony said. "It's actually sweet looking back at it now. If anything, I embarrassed myself with that silly little speech I gave when I found you at the tiki bar. I mean fate was right there pushing me to tell you the truth, especially after our prom night interlude, and again I couldn't do it."

"We really did make things difficult for ourselves, didn't we?" Angela said softly. "You know Tony, the real regret I have, with us not confessing our feelings sooner, is everything that happened between then and the carnival in Brooklyn. There were a lot of good times, but some pretty painful ones as well that maybe we wouldn't have had to endure. But beyond that, I just wonder if, as Katie alluded to yesterday, she could have come along a little bit sooner and then maybe we could have had a second child."

"I know, Angela," Tony said with a sigh. "I've wondered that as well, but in the end, I think we had to go through everything we went through so that there was no question that our relationship would be built to last."

"And I think we've proven that it is," he said as he pulled the Jeep into its parking spot in their building's garage and leaned over to capture Angela's lips in a passionate kiss.