Kakashi hadn't been able to sleep. He'd been able to eat… a little, but between the new knowledge regarding Danzo and old memories and scenarios running through his head, he'd barely been able to read his Icha Icha. Fortunately, this wouldn't be the first time he would be running on fumes. He'd be fine for now. It usually didn't start to get truly bothersome until the end of the second day. Day three on no sleep was unpleasant. Day four sucked. His record was six days, although he hadn't remembered much of the last two days and had ended up sleeping for almost two more days straight (in the hospital nonetheless) after that. It wasn't something he wanted to repeat.

He hoped he'd be able to sleep tonight.

He wished he could go and see the memorial stone. That would help some. Well, it usually did. But no, he was stuck here in T&I still because they said they couldn't trust him to go out with Danzo still alive. Well, they weren't entirely wrong, but Kakashi could follow orders. If ordered not to kill the man, he wouldn't. That didn't put maiming off the table. Or pranking. Or completely and utterly humiliating him. That last one sounded so nice…

Then again, he'd be required to promise (to the Third nonetheless) to not go after Danzo or his ilk… which really left so many exploitable loopholes… he could work with that. If there was anything to work with after he finally got out of here.

(Was he repeating himself? He could handle going on little sleep, but it had been a while…)

Or maybe he could ask to simply not be left out of any… punitive actions against the man now that something might actually happen.

Kakashi would have to commend whoever instigated this situation. They'd done it brilliantly. Then he'd kill them for getting him caught up in it all… or humiliate them. He'd heard the term 'troll' used in regards to some of his actions lately. He was fine with this.

Now he just had to figure out how to make it through the next appointment he had with Inoichi-san… because he realized he wouldn't be getting out of here until he fulfilled those requirements the interrogator had laid down.

He'd have to retell his memories of the Kannabi bridge… and he'd already resolved to do so. That didn't mean he was looking forward to it. And he'd have to set up appointments to come back or risk losing his career as a ninja.

How was he supposed to stay sane through all of this again?

At least they'd given him his mask back.

"Hatake-san," a professional, somewhat familiar voice drew him out of his reverie. He'd been trying to read his book while he thought. It hadn't worked very well. He welcomed the distraction to the monotony of his time here.

In the doorway of his cell (because that's what it was, no matter how comfortable), he saw a man in a dark blue – almost generic – ninja outfit with a chuunin vest and his Konoha headband stuck to a handkerchief (matching his outfit) wrapped around his head. He also wore sunglasses despite being indoors.

Huh. What was Ebisu doing here?

"How did you instill your despicable habits onto your students before you got the chance to teach them anything?" the man asked heatedly.

Kakashi resented that remark. He'd taught his team about teamwork! That was the most important thing any team should know. And he'd emphasized it from his test! That had been his first lesson!

The comment annoyed him enough for him to decide to play with Ebisu. It would serve the man right. Besides, he needed some entertainment.

Desperately.

"They read porn in public? Already? I'm so proud of them!"

Ebisu's expression darkened. "I wouldn't know, seeing as I haven't met them as a team yet! I haven't been able to even find them as individuals in the last week!"

"Oh," Kakashi said after several seconds. Then he went back to his book. "What a shame."

"I've waited for two entire hours at the spot you informed me you meet your team at! How could they all be so late! And why?!"

Oh. He hadn't expected that to work as well as it apparently had.

"Huh. I just figured it out," he muttered, half to himself.

Ebisu blinked behind his sunglasses at the non-sequitur. "What?"

Kakashi smiled brightly at him. "How I'm going to maintain my sanity while here. I'll be thinking of you and this moment the entire time."

That didn't seem to help the Special Jounin at all.

Good.

"What?! What does that have to do with anything I'm telling you? I just… why?!" the man asked, exasperated.

Kakashi eye-smile grew deeper. "It's the little things that make life worth living."

"Hatake…" Ooo, he'd pulled out his scary voice. He was even leaking some killing intent. How cute.

Eh, if he didn't give the man a bone, he'd be there all day and Kakashi had to see Inoichi soon.

Hmm… none of those reasons seemed like good enough incentive to make the Special Jounin go away… This was the most entertaining thing that had happened while he'd been here.

Then again, he also wanted to see the look on the man's face…

That was a good reason to enlighten him.

"I told you I meet them at 10 AM on the bridge," he said lightly. "I usually tell them to meet me around 7 or 8. They must have gone off to train on their own or something."

For several seconds, Ebisu just stared in open mouthed shock.

"Y-you… you… you!"

"I thought you, as a Special Jounin would have figured that out by now," he said thoughtfully as he turned a page he hadn't read (this time) in his book. "I suppose that's why you're still just a Special Jounin. Then again, now you know where to improve!" He shot another eye-smile at the man, outright smirking underneath his mask.

He was so happy to have that back.

"You're welcome!"

Oh, and Ebisu's killing intent increased.

"Hatake…"

"Ebisu-san," another voice called out. Ah, there he was. Right on time. Perhaps Kakashi hadn't lost his touch after all.

The Special Jounin turned to look down the hall, although he still kept his guard up towards the former ANBU captain. Huh, perhaps he wasn't a lost cause. Kakashi had always kind of assumed that Gai had just sort of dragged his old teammates with him on his way up to being an elite Jounin, leaving them behind only once they'd all graduated from chuunin. Genma was still a special jounin too, after all.

Although he got the impression that Genma wasn't a full-on Jounin because he just hadn't really gotten around to being tested. He never took things seriously enough. He was certainly skilled enough, though. But part of being a Jounin was the mind-set.

Which, clearly Ebisu didn't have.

"Inoichi-san," the Special Jounin said, almost whining. Oh, right. Choza had been his Jounin sensei, which means he would have likely known Inoichi. Maybe he saw the man as a sort of uncle?

That really just made this all the more amusing.

"What's wrong, Ebisu?" Inoichi asked, sounding confused – or mildly concerned, perhaps? Aw, family dynamics.

The man opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped for several seconds, glanced back at Kakashi, shooting one last sense of killing intent at him before he deflated. Kakashi just beamed at him. The man knew he was beaten. He'd sound far too childish if he said anything right now.

"Nothing, Inoichi-san. Hatake's just being a troll again."

Even though no one was looking at him, Kakashi still gave them a, 'who, me?' expression.

"Ah," Inoichi said… as if that explained everything. To be fair, it kind of did.

"I'll see myself out," Ebisu said tiredly.

"Then I'll see you later, Ebisu-kun," Inoichi said, as if to comfort the man. It seemed to work a little, actually. Aw, family dynamics.

(Actually, Kakashi was getting a little tired of that. Not that he'd let anyone know. The last thing he needed was Inoichi catching onto something like that and bringing the whole team in, just to annoy Kakashi.

He would too.)

The Special Jounin nodded, shot another glare at Kakashi, then turned and left. Inoichi stood in the doorway watching the other man go. Then he turned to his patient.

"Care to explain what that was about?"

Kakashi just smiled. "I gave him some information that, while being true, misled him. He didn't realize until I pointed it out to him."

The blond shot him a dry look. Then he shook his head, rolled his eyes and walked inside, unfortunately closing the door behind him. Not that Kakashi would have tried to leave right now anyway. Not when his status as an active ninja was on the line. (He hated that they'd realized that was actually an effective punishment.)

"Well, he'll have to learn eventually."

"Precisely," Kakashi replied with his signature eye-smile.

This was honestly the best he'd felt in over a week.

Ninja had to take their victories where they could find them.

Inoichi shook his head again, looking amused, but then he took a deep breath and sobered. Kakashi almost winced as all the joviality fled. He missed it already.

"So, are you ready to go over the rest of the Kannabi bridge incident today?"

Kakashi got the impression that if he said, 'No,' Inoichi would leave it alone. Then again, that would keep him stuck here for another day and, amusement or not, he wasn't sure he could take that.

Sighing, the silver-haired man put his Icha Icha away. "Yes."

The blond looked hopeful at his answer, but also cautious. "You realize we'll have to go over it in detail to complete the report and find any discrepancies that may have found their way into the paperwork, correct?"

Kakashi didn't want to know how many doctored reports they'd found already.

Still, he took a deep, but silent breath and nodded, keeping the same smile on his face through sheer force of will.

"Yes."

"Whenever you're ready, then. We left off when Rin was kidnapped and you didn't want to go after her?"

Kakashi took another deep breath. "Yes. Obito and I argued. He told me my father had been a hero and then said he was going after Rin, with or without me. I went to continue on the mission… but I didn't get far."

He paused and closed his eyes. Only a couple of sentences in and it was already too much. But he went on.

"No one had ever called my father a hero before. Even after… it was supposed to restore his honor. It was supposed to make amends. It didn't." Thanks to Danzo… but not just Danzo. "His memory was just treated worse. And… I hated thinking about him. Minato-sensei asked what I thought of my father's situation several times, but I could never answer."

"Why not?"

Ugh… he really hated to say this but… no, he still wasn't in the mind-set to lie effectively. He swore silently – multiple times – before resigning himself to just telling the truth. "It hurt too much."

"Losing a parent at such a young age can do that," Inoichi assured softly, but… Kakashi shook his head.

"That's not it."

Inoichi frowned slightly. "Oh?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

The blond actually scoffed (albeit warmly) at that. "If that were true, you wouldn't have brought it up."

Kakashi froze. He knew interrogation techniques. He knew what people would supposedly do to assuage a guilty conscience… but he didn't have a guilty conscience…

Did he?

Then why had he brought it up like that?

"I'll ask only one time, Kakashi," Inoichi sat forward, fixing him with an earnest stare. "Why did talking about your father hurt?"

For several seconds silence reigned in the room, so thick Kakashi was having a hard time breathing… again. He really shouldn't… he couldn't look weak… and yet, hadn't Inoichi already seen him at his worst?

Was this a chance to finally just get rid of it all?

Should he take it?

"He… left me," he finally said, croaking the words out – words he'd buried for decades. "His honor… was more important than me… and I hated him for it. I couldn't see how wrong I was."

His words choked off at the end, but he refused to let himself cry. No, that was an indignity he couldn't allow himself. But he could admit one final thing.

"I was so selfish." Story of his life: the selfish genius, friend-killer Kakashi.

Inoichi shook his head. "No, Kakashi. Children at that age are egocentric. That is part of their brain development. Even a genius at that age wouldn't have been able to truly comprehend, and feeling that way would have been completely natural for you."

"But he did it to spare me…" Kakashi protested. He'd come to that realization later… just around the time of the Kannabi bridge, actually.

"Would you prefer to have your honor or your father back?"

He didn't answer because he knew which he would choose in a heartbeat, even now.

"I'd choose my father," Inoichi said, almost nonchalantly. Kakashi's head snapped up in surprise. He'd picked up on an undertone that sounded so… pained. All ninjas lost people dear to them, but he couldn't help but wonder who Inoichi had lost and what kind of impact they'd had on the man's life.

The interrogator saw the expression on Kakashi's face and he smiled sadly. "You'd be surprised what you can do with a good support structure. Regaining trust and honor while having someone you care for – and who cares for you back – around to help you through it is difficult, but not impossible. Compare that to having no one to support you as the price for having your honor intact?" And wasn't that exactly what Kakashi had? His honor, supposedly… but not trust, because Kakashi had had to regain that as well, even as a young child.

It was one reason why he'd openly despised anything but following the rules.

He hated that he was a little relieved that Inoichi had picked up on it.

"That doesn't make you selfish, Kakashi."

Yeah. He wished he could believe that.

But… it was nice to hear nonetheless.

Inoichi must have realized he wouldn't get anywhere else today with that line of discussion because he nodded and waved his hand slowly through the air again. "Continue with the report once you're ready."

Kakashi nodded and swallowed, trying to get himself back under control.

(He really hated T&I. Had Inoichi drugged him? That would make a lot of sense…)

"I… didn't want to lose them – my teammates," he finally said. "And I hated myself for it. But I'd remembered how Rin had healed me and how Obito thought my father was a hero and… I turned around and went after them. I got there just in time to save Obito from an attack. The man had an incredible camouflage jutsu, even able to hide his smell. I'm convinced it was a kekkei genkai.

"In the following battle, I lost my eye when I put myself between him and our attacker, and he woke his sharingan. That was how we won against him. Obito was able to see through the technique with his dojutsu.

"We patched up my eye and went into the cave where they'd taken Rin. They were trying to get information out of her when we found them. We fought the man we found in the cave and between the two of us were able to defeat him. But we didn't kill him."

Kakashi shook his head at their naivety. "We should have."

Inoichi sighed, though he didn't respond other than to nod – whether in acknowledgement or agreement, Kakashi didn't know.

The silver-haired Jounin (although he didn't feel like an elite Jounin right now) continued. "The jutsu the man set off was supposed to collapse the cave. We made for our way out, but a rock hit me. My covered eye made for a blind-spot I didn't know how to compensate for and it was on the side of my previously hurt shoulder.

"Of course the idiots came back for me," he said, but he spoke fondly, if bitterly.

Yeah, Inoichi had drugged him. There was no other reason for him to go off like this.

But as much as it hurt it… also helped somehow.

And he would take that knowledge with him to the grave.

"Obito… saw a boulder coming for me and he threw me out of the way. In my place he…" he faded off, unable to say the next words.

"Take your time," Inoichi reassured him. "We're in no hurry."

Part of him hated the blond for saying that. Part of him couldn't feel more grateful.

After several (far too many) seconds, he was able to force himself to continue. "The Jounin must have thought we were done for, but Rin and I weren't seriously hurt. However, when we looked back at Obito… "

And then he was no longer in the T&I department, but back at the cave-in. "Half of Obito's body had been crushed by the boulder. We tried to move it… we tried everything we could think of, but we didn't have the chakra reserves for techniques that would have done anything to that boulder. Rin wanted to try and heal him but…"

He shook his head.

"He gave me his eye as a present, you know," he looked up, recognizing he was back in his room at T&I with Inoichi.

It had been easier to come back than it normally was.

"That was the only reason the Uchiha let me keep it – it had been his dying wish."

"Rin-san must have been a talented kunoichi to transfer it like that in the field while it still worked," Inoichi commented.

Kakashi looked away from the man, and didn't answer. She hadn't been the most talented medic nin ever, but she'd been determined and well-learned.

He missed her so badly.

He pointedly did not think of his last memory of her alive.

"I could tell the ninja who had caused the cave-in was still there, so I went out to confront him with my new eye. It wasn't mature then, only two tomoe, but I was determined to take him out. Obito made me promise to take care of Rin—"

And his voice broke again.

He glared at Inoichi. "What did you drug me with?"

The man just smiled kindly.

Right, T&I. Ugh.

"In any case, that was the first time I could successfully use my Chidori."

"Because of your Sharingan?"

Kakashi didn't answer for several seconds. "I never thought of it as mine," he finally said softly. "It's on loan from Obito. Even if I can't return it until… until I see him in the pure lands."

Inoichi looked terribly sad for several seconds, but he just nodded and sat back, waiting for Kakashi to finish.

"Obito could tell, as could I, that reinforcements were coming. He made me promise to take Rin and go. However, before we could get her out of the cave, the reinforcements arrived."

Reinforcements because they'd likely been expecting the Yellow Flash, not his brat students.

Honestly, it made so much sense now. Why else would there be so many reinforcements?

And he hated it.

"The cave collapsed, I took Rin and we ran. We didn't get far, though. And that was when I remembered Minato-sensei's kunai – the one he told me to throw if we got in over our heads."

Kakashi chuckled mirthlessly. "Maybe if I would have thrown it earlier—"

"Maybe," Inoichi cut in. "But it sounds to me like you did the best you could for the skills you had at the time."

Kakashi didn't think he could believe that either.

"In any case, I told Rin to go. The ninja attacked. I threw the kunai and… I must have blacked out from chakra exhaustion.

"The next thing I knew, I woke up to Minato-sensei sitting next to me. It was night. Rin and I were alive but…" he faded off, shaking his head.

"Minato-sensei told me later he was proud of me, but I knew that losing one of his team hurt him."

"Of course it did," Inoichi said, his voice soft and warm. "Any teacher would be. But I know he was proud of you for doing your best, for learning and for trying and for saving Rin."

And that… well, that he could believe. It… hurt to accept because he still thought Obito should have lived instead of him… but Inoichi wasn't wrong.

"Yeah," he whispered.

Inoichi's smile widened and he gestured for Kakashi to go on.

"We went back to take out the bridge," he said. "In Obito's name. We managed to sneak past the enemy lines – probably because Minato-sensei had utterly obliterated them – and blew the bridge up with explosive tags and Jutsu. We didn't encounter any other ninja on our return."

"And everyone's reactions once you did return?"

Kakashi frowned and thought back. "The Hokage had been… relieved, but sad. The Uchiha were… well, Uchiha. They wanted me to give the eye back until the situation was explained to them. And even then…" he shook his head.

"Everyone else proclaimed us as heroes." He thought about that and felt a vindictive grin come to his face. "Bet that ticked Shimura-san off," he said brightly.

Inoichi snorted. "Probably."

They shared a smile for a couple of seconds before Kakashi's grin faded.

"Rin… was never the same," he said. Then he snorted derisively. "I suppose I wasn't either. Or Minato-sensei. He… tried, but the laughter in our team was gone."

Inoichi frowned. "Is that why you took up your… eccentricities?" he asked. "Being late, reading those books in public, trolling people…" He shot Kakashi a pointed look and then glanced at the door where Ebisu had been not to long before.

Kakashi's smile was wry and bitter. "Partly. I mean, he was always so positive and passionate. I thought maybe… those habits would help me be that way too."

"Did it?"

Kakashi sighed and shook his head.

"Hmm," Inoichi said. Then, finally, he sat forward, folding his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees as he fixed his patient (ugh) with his blue gaze.

"First, you should probably know that I don't remember any discrepancies between your report just now and the written one. I'll have to go back and look it over once more to be sure, but I think we're in the clear as far as this mission goes.

"Second, if you'd like to accompany me to the Hokage tower, so you can give your word to him, I can release you as long as you agree to come back to see me once a week when you're in the village."

Kakashi still hated that. Inoichi must have seen the disgust on his face because he shook his head.

"Kakashi, I want you to pay attention to how you feel about your past – about your father, your team, your missions, even Danzo. See if you don't feel better about it all. And if you do, please just try. Come back here and try to do what you need to do to become healthier. I'd prefer that you do it for yourself, but if not, then in memory of your former team, and for the sake of your current one. Those children need someone who can be invested in their future to help them grow into the ninja they can be – ninja that can survive."

That… made Kakashi want to squirm. He didn't, of course (the drug must be wearing off) but he still wanted to.

He couldn't invest too much into them because… what if they died? What if he got them killed too? What if he drove them to their grave?

But… then again, wouldn't he be doing the same if he didn't put his all into teaching them? If he only did the bare minimum like he'd been planning? Because the council wanted him to train Sasuke, and he would because he'd been ordered, but while Naruto was Sensei's child, he didn't want to be around the boy. And the girl… she had potential, but she was so much like Rin…

Wow… maybe he really did need some help.

Ouch. Bad brain for even thinking that!

Still…

"I… don't have much of a choice," he muttered, remembering that if he didn't agree to that, he would be forcibly retired.

Inoichi shook his head. "There is always a choice. You just don't always get to choose the consequences of those choices."

Kakashi finally sighed. "I'll do whatever I have to to get out of here."

Inoichi smiled. "I thought you'd say something like that."

Oh, great! Was he getting predictable in his old age?!

"Come on, Hatake-san," Inoichi said, rising to his feet and nodding towards the door. "Let's go get you released."

xXx

Notes: *Disclaimer: WE DO NOT CONDONE DRUGGING PEOPLE FOR ANY REASON, EVEN MAKING THEM GO TO THERAPY, unless it is recommended by a licensed therapist/psychiatrist who knows what they're doing.

(No, really, it most likely WON'T WORK in any other situation than this – not that we're saying he WAS definitively drugged…

We just figured this would be one way NINJA might go about this, and it likely would even be legal. *Sigh* The ninja world is so screwed up… So, yeah. Don't try this at home, kids. ^^; )

Also, sorry this is so late. We did some last minute rearranging of some things in the chapters and had to step away before coming back to see if they actually worked. That and life got in the way. Go fig. *ahem*

Thank you to those still reading!

Discord: discord. gg/xDDz3gqWfy (no spaces)