Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.

Purified by Fire, Dancing with Fairies

Chapter 14

The Moon shone down bright and cold from high in the night sky by the time Saber and Ayame returned to Kotomine Church. Pushing the doors open and stepping inside, they found the church interior well and warmly lit, if devoid of Human presence. "Should we go in ahead, or wait for Father Kotomine to welcome us?" Ayame asked.

"I would suggest the latter." Saber said. "This place is his home after all, and while we have not come uninvited, we should still observe due courtesy."

"Right, right."

"I am honored to hear that I am worthy of courtesy, Servant Saber." Kirei said as he stepped out of the shadows. "In any case, welcome, to you and your Master both. If you would follow me, please."

Ayame and Saber nodded, walking briskly to catch up to Kirei before slowing to match his pace. "So," Ayame began. "How'd things go?"

"I have already sent out an order along with specifics for a puppet arm for Rin." Kirei replied. "It should arrive in about a week or so. As for Rin herself, the surgery was a success, and the gangrenous arm removed with no issue. That said, a significant amount of blood was lost during the procedure, and even unconscious it would have inflicted great strain on her body. Even after she awakens, she'd be left weak for a time."

"That makes sense." Ayame said with a nod.

"Indeed," Kirei said as he led them across the atrium. "If I might ask, what do you intend to do from here on out?"

"What?"

"My apologies, I should have been more specific." Kirei said while holding open a door for Ayame and Saber. "What do you plan for Rin Tohsaka after she awakens? Will you leave her here or will you bring her back with you to your home?"

"That's entirely up to her." Ayame said, again following Kirei further inside. "I can't and won't force her to do anything. If she wants to stay here, she can. If she wants to come back with me, that's fine too. That said…maybe…yeah, there's one thing that might have to be forced if she tries to do something stupid."

"Oh?" Kirei asked, sounding both surprised and curious. "And what might it be that has changed your mind?"

"If Tohsaka wants to go back to her house and stay there," Ayame said. "We can't let her. Not while the war is going on. That's suicide."

Kirei chuckled and nodded with agreement. "Well said," he concurred. "However, I think you worry too much. Rin would not be so stupid to do such. Though…in the small chance she does, you have my support in making her see reason. Just…try to be gentle if and when the time comes. It would not do for either of our efforts to keep her alive and well to be for nothing thanks to…overzealous, actions on either of our parts."

"True, that."

Kirei smiled and nodded, gesturing for them to be seated in his living room. "Please wait until I call," he said. "Or, for me to lead Rin here."

Ayame and Saber nodded, and Kirei bowed at them politely. "Well then," he said. "I take my leave."

At that he left, leaving the Master and Servant pair on their own while he returned to attend to his ward.

Rin lay silent on the examination table, her only movements being that of her chest as she gently breathed in and out with regularity. Wearing only a thin, commercially-available hospital gown, bloody bandages were wrapped around the stump of Rin's right shoulder, and prompting Kirei to hum thoughtfully for a few moments.

"Those need to be replaced in a few hours with fresh ones." He thought to himself. "Still, it looks as though the bleeding has stopped, apart from superficial ones."

Nodding to himself in satisfaction, Kirei began preparations to jolt Rin from her coma. As he had told Ayame, it wasn't unusual for would be-executors to fall into similar states when they failed their trials, and while those who were left brain-dead (as sometimes happened) were usually just placed in a hospital or hospice ward for indefinite, long-term care, those that were still alive both physically and mentally had to be forced into consciousness sooner or later.

Tearing open the sterile packaging, Kirei uncapped the syringe, plunged it into the bottle of stimulant, and filled it to the required dose. Withdrawing the needle, Kirei tapped the syringe until the bubbles were gone, and then approaching Rin searched for and found a vein in her left arm, into which he injected the stimulant.

Discarding the spent syringe, Kirei moved a machine closer, and then taking a pair of leads snaking from said machine slid them under Rin's gown and placed them over her heart. Activating the machine, Kirei charged it up, and keeping a finger just over the discharge button used another to find a pressure point on Rin's chest.

Narrowing his eyes, Kirei took a breath…and simultaneously pressed down the discharge button and Rin's pressure point.

The effect was immediate. Rin's eyes shot open wildly, and she threw herself up into a sitting position with a scream. And then her face twisted with agony, and with a loud, tearing sound of pain clutched at her right shoulder with her left hand.

Blue eyes widened in shock, and then slowly, Rin turned her head, and found no arm where there should have been one. She screamed again, much louder this time, doubling over in pain even as Kirei hurriedly gave her a glass with an herbal infusion. "Drink up, now." He said, rubbing at her back and taking advantage of her mental state to get her to comply. "This should ease the pain."

It did, and while Rin coughed and scrunched up her face at the bitterness of the infusion, the pain was clearly no longer as bad. But as the haze of pain cleared and comprehension returned bringing with it crushing reality, Rin began to cry. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," she babbled. "K-Kirei…my arm…why did you remove my arm…?"

Kirei was about to answer when he heard the sound of rapidly-approaching feet, and moments later, a fully-armored Saber and a concerned-looking Ayame burst into the operating room. "Oh great," Kirei thought to himself. "They would help Rin calm down with their presence…on second thought, perhaps this might not be such a bad thing after all."

Rin's eyes almost bulged out of their eye sockets at the sight of Ayame and Saber. "YOU!" she roared, spit flying out with the word. Snarling incoherently, Rin would have thrown herself from the examination table at Ayame, her mind already visualizing a dagger piercing her heart to open her circuits…

…but Kirei was there.

In an instant he had Rin firmly but gently pinned against the table. "I would strongly advise against using magic until you have fully recovered." Kirei said. "You wouldn't want to complicate things for yourself, would you now?"

"Kirei…you bastard…Archer…!"

"Yes…Archer…your Servant, yes?" Kirei asked silkily while Saber and Ayame looked uncomfortable. "Unfortunately, I must inform you that Servant Archer is no longer in this world."

"…no…"

Rin didn't scream or roar or rage in denial, surprisingly. All that was said was a single word, in a small and disbelieving voice.

"It is the truth." Kirei said. "Servant Archer was the first Servant to fall in this Fifth Holy Grail War, at the hands of Servant Saber. It was I suppose, an honorable and worthy death in battle."

Rin grit her teeth, looking away in frustration and defeat. "Damn it…damn it…damn it…" she ground out softly, tears trickling from her eyes and down her cheeks. "Damn it…"

Kirei stepped back, releasing Rin at last. "Now then," he said. "As I recall you asked earlier why I removed your arm. I did so because it had become gangrenous, and if it were not removed, it would have died and given you blood poisoning. I trust I do not need to explain the consequences of such, do I now?"

Rin just glared at Kirei, who didn't look affected at all. "Gangrenous?" Rin echoed. "Why would it…be…you!"

Snarling with hate, Rin forced herself up to a sitting position and causing a very uncomfortable Ayame to step behind her equally-uncomfortable Servant. "What did you do?" Rin spat.

"I…uh…I took your command spells." Ayame answered. "…I didn't know it'd cause gangrene!"

"WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE!" Rin roared, and then winced and clutched at her shoulder.

"While I'll agree that ignorance is no excuse to escape responsibility with," Kirei interjected. "It does reduce the severity of their…complicity, in your loss. Furthermore, it could have been worse."

"…what?"

"Well," Kirei began with a smirk. "They could have just killed you and taken your command spells afterward. Would you have preferred that instead, hmm? Or perhaps they'd have taken your command spells and left you for dead on the ground, helpless against anyone or anything who might seek to take advantage of your weakness."

Kirei paused and shook his head. "No," he said. "Instead, they treated you with respect, as a defeated but worthy enemy, taking you into the safety of Emiya's home and when they reached their limit brought you here, where I fortunately could help you where they could not. You may not like it, but they deserve some measure of your gratitude, or at least respect."

"Respect? Gratitude?" Rin echoed furiously. "Don't joke around! If it's going to be like this, to live with the shame of having been defeated and brought dishonor to my family name, I'd prefer to have died! I…!"

Kirei scoffed and shook his head. "Such pride and dignity," he said, gravity masking mockery. "Truly, you are your father's daughter, as you should be, yet you should not have to repeat his mistakes…"

The priest trailed off though, as Rin seemed to slump, her face slack and her eyes distant and empty at the mention of her father. Kirei blinked in surprise, and placing a hand on her shoulder squeezed down. "Rin?" he asked, and the girl blinked and looked up.

Her eyes fell on Ayame and Saber, and Rin exploded. "HOW DARE YOU?" she roared, spittle flying out as she struggled against Kirei's restraints. "HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU?"

Kirei pressed down on a pressure point, and Rin abruptly gasped, going limp even as Kirei helped her lie back down. "Please return to the living room." He told Ayame and Saber. "As you can see, your presence here is not particularly helpful."

Ayame and Saber glanced at each other, and then with a nod at Kirei did as asked. Kirei watched them leave, and then turning back to Rin raised an eyebrow as she noticed the girl quietly crying.

"Come, come," Kirei said with a theatrical wave of his hand. "Surely you are not so childish as to cry over losing the contest? Certainly, it is a stain on your family's history…but it can also be an opportunity. Yes, an opportunity. An opportunity to learn lessons from, from which to gain fresh resolve, and to start anew stronger and brighter than before."

Rin didn't answer, instead turning away with a sniffle. "Hmm," Kirei hummed, running a finger over his chin as he did so. "Perhaps…you are not mourning for your defeat? If so, your maturity is praiseworthy."

Again, Rin didn't answer, and after a moment Kirei continued. "And yet," he said. "I sense there is more than what is apparent behind your latest outburst. Given you seemed to go…catatonic, before the outburst…"

Kirei trailed off and nodded slowly. "I am aware," he slowly resumed. "That you were caught in one of Ayame Emiya's spells, which subjected your spirit to a trial of sorts. You failed…but that is neither here nor there. What matters here and now though, is what you were forced to face. Will you not share it with me?"

"…it's none of your business." Rin snapped, still refusing to look at Kirei.

"Oh, but I think it is." Kirei said. "Have you forgotten I am your legal guardian? The one your father entrusted your wellbeing and upbringing to in the event of either his or your mother's untimely demise?"

"And you've done so well at it." Rin sneered, finally looking at Kirei. Kirei didn't answer, just staring levelly at Rin, who looked away after a few moments. "I saw it."

"You saw what?"

"My father's death." Rin said, and Kirei narrowed his eyes. "You told me he was killed in an ambush during the previous war…and you were right. He was stabbed in the back…he was, wasn't he?"

"…so he was." Kirei said with a slow nod, all amusement gone.

So…you knew, did you not, Kiritsugu Emiya? Why am I not surprised? That you knew…and that you shared what you knew with your daughter?

"I also saw my mother die, on her deathbed…I heard her last words again…" Rin whispered, eyes distant and sad, before she closed them and scrunched her face up in frustration. "Damn you Emiya…damn you…how did you know?"

How did Kiritsugu and Ayame Emiya know about how Aoi Tohsaka died? Were they…was he spying?

I had thought Kiritsugu Emiya a broken and pale shadow of who he once was at the war's end…was I wrong?

"Kiritsugu Emiya was a Master during the previous war." Kirei said softly. "No, he was not the one who killed your father…but he would have known. He was after all, among the final two Masters to reach the climax of the contest at the time. He must have told his daughter, Ayame Emiya, before he died. As for your mother…I suppose it was a lucky guess."

"Guess?" Rin echoed, with veiled fury behind the word. "You…you…do you actually think…they could have guessed…I remember how she died! I remember! I will never forget!"

"As I said, Ayame Emiya got lucky in her guesswork." Kirei said before tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. "Is that all?"

"NO." Rin growled, her voice filled with dark and forbidding anger. "No…that was not all. They showed me…they showed me…something…something that I can never forgive."

Kirei smiled slightly. "I can guess where this is going." He said. "Sakura Matou…your sister…they showed you how she died."

"That was not how my sister died!" Rin spat, forcing herself up to a half-sitting position. "My sister…she died…she died a noble and worthy death…heir to a lineage of magi that goes back centuries…she died struggling to learn and master their legacy…her legacy…too early…with less dignity than she deserved…but…but not like that! That…that was an abomination, like something you'd see from disgusting perversions that pass for…sexual material to…pleasure, perverts and…!"

"Let me guess," Kirei said. "You saw worms. You saw them eating your sister, forcing themselves into her, watched her body be brutalized, tortured, humiliated, until finally it gave out from the trauma…is that what you saw?"

There was silence, long, terrible, and heavy. And then…

"…how did you know?"

"Haven't I told you before?" Kirei asked curiously. "Hmm…it seems I did not…"

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?" Rin screamed. "Was…was what Emiya showed me…was it true?"

"Yes." Kirei said. "It's true. That is what the Matou magecraft is. The familiars they specialize in are worms, which are infested into their bodies from the very moment training begins. I believe they call it 'engraving', that is torturously forcing the body to learn through the worms which feed on flesh and prana the family mysteries instead of teaching it to be learned and understood by the mind. A torturous method…but an effective one."

"…it's true…it was true…oh my God…Sakura…"

Kirei was silent, looking on as Rin shook her head from side to side. "Father…" she whispered. "Did he…did he know what Sakura…did he know what he sent her to?"

"…he did."

It was technically true. Tokiomi did not know when he sent away his daughter, but he eventually found out through Kariya during the war, though he'd dismissed it as simply another variant of the normal hardship and tribulation magi had to face to master their craft. No doubt, he had every faith that his daughter would overcome it and become great and powerful.

Fool of a magus.

"…why?" Rin asked.

"He believed that your sister would have the strength and will to overcome the challenges before her." Kirei answered. "No matter how hard and difficult they were, and overcoming them become the great magus she was meant to be."

"No…no…" Rin said, shaking her head in denial. "He wouldn't do that…he wouldn't! Even if Sakura would become a great magus…achieve her full potential…he would not have accepted that price! He wouldn't!"

"Kariya Matou thought so too." Kirei said, briefly closing his eyes in reminiscence. "He confronted your father during the war, over his decision to surrender your sister to the Matou. His reply? He said that he only wanted his beloved daughter to have a happy future."

"…what? But…that's…how could she be happy…away from us…never to see us again…away from her family…"

"Kariya Matou asked that too." Kirei said with a smirk. "And your father said that any magus with a second child would be troubled, as the Art can only be passed on to one of them. A dilemma wherein one of the children must fall into mediocrity."

Rin looked utterly horrified, and after a moment, Kirei continued. "He then further said," he added. "That it was even more so in his case, as his wife was so…outstanding, as breeding material that both you and your sister were born with equal and rare natural talent. Both of you had to have the protection of a house of magi, and to deny either of your potential…he considered it a tragedy beyond compare. Thus, one of you always had to go, and Zouken Matou's request came as a godsend. Even more so, as both Matou and Tohsaka had cooperated in the past to build the Holy Grail. And that even if your father couldn't win the Grail, you would take over his duty, and if you fail, then Sakura would succeed in your place…regardless of the name she bears."

"Regardless…of her name…no…he…he…"

"Yes," Kirei said with a nod. "You and your sister were meant to challenge each other sooner or later. Whether directly or through your children…if you win, then Tohsaka would receive the glory of victory, and Matou would receive the slightly lesser honor of being your worthy opponent and rival. And if she wins, then regardless of her name, the blood in their veins, Tohsaka blood, would still receive the glory of victory, and Tohsaka itself would receive the honor of being worthy enemies and rivals."

Kirei paused and chuckled. "A reasoning worthy of a magus." He said with a smile. "Such is the example you must live up to, Rin."

Rin lowered her head abruptly, teeth grinding against each other and tears flowing down her cheeks. And then, throwing her head back, Rin screamed in rage and despair.

"…what the fuck is going on?"

"Language, Ayame." Saber chided before tilting his head. "Someone's coming."

"Yes, I hear it too." Ayame said, turning in the direction of the approaching footsteps and narrowing her eyes. The footsteps steadily drew closer, and with a bang a sweaty and wild-eyed Rin burst through the door.

Ayame and Saber were up on their feet in an instant, but Rin made no move to attack. "You!" she said, pointing at Ayame. "How did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"About the Matou, damn you!"

Ayame drew back slightly, and then rallied. "My father told me about them." She said. "He called them monsters…and he was right."

"Yes, he was." Rin agreed, nodding frantically before wincing and clutching at her shoulder. Her knees trembled and she nearly fell, Ayame and Saber moving to help her. "Stay away! Stay away…I deserve this…we all do…we all do…"

Ayame and Saber looked at each other in confusion as Rin muttered to herself. "…this is nothing…" she muttered. "…nothing compared to what she must have gone through…death was a blessing…"

"…Tohsaka, you're bleeding." Ayame said, eyes narrowed at a steadily-growing puddle of blood on the floor from Rin's shoulder.

"I know I am!" Rin shouted. "I know I am…but what does it matter? There's so much blood on my hands already…my family's hands…our own blood…what does a few more drops matter now?"

Ayame and Saber stared as Rin fell silent, but after several moments she looked up at them with ice-cold eyes. Ayame blinked, feeling…strange, as she looked into those eyes.

Those eyes…Tohsaka's eyes…this is the first time I've ever seen them up close. I've always known they were blue…but…those eyes…why…so familiar…

"What do you want?" Rin suddenly asked.

"W-what?"

"What do you want?" Rin repeated.

"I don't understand the question."

"Fine, it doesn't matter anyway." Rin spat. "I don't care what you want. I don't care what you do to get it. As far as I'm concerned you can have that worthless cup, wish for whatever goddamned wish you want…you can even have this entire territory if you want it…"

Ayame just gaped at Rin, who stared up at her with those cold, but oh so familiar eyes. "But in return," Rin said. "Kill them all. Kill each and every last one of the Matous. I don't care how you do it, but by the time this war ends, I want them all dead."

"I was going to do that anyway." Ayame said before tilting her head. "Funny…I was under the impression your family was friendly with them."

"Your father was a wise man." Rin replied to Ayame's surprise. "He managed to see them for what they really are. Us? We were blind fools…we always have been…kill them all, and you can demand anything you want from me."

"…you really shouldn't say things like that." Ayame said uncomfortably. "If I were the unscrupulous sort, that could be twisted in just so many ways."

Rin snorted in contempt. "What does it matter now anyway?" she said. "I've got no chance left in this war, and even if I still did…even if I received the Grail…it wouldn't grant my wish. Nothing can grant my wish. Not even True Magic…"

Ayame's widened in realization, and then she nodded slowly. "Thou raiseth not the dead." she whispered. "Even the greatest of magicks can only affect the living."

Rin smiled bitterly. "You've destroyed all our pride and dignity," she said. "But it was rotten-through anyway…thank you."

"…I…"

"You do realize not all is lost, do you not Rin?" Kirei said, looming up from behind her. He held up a plastic case, in which was what looked like a patch of skin, engraved with slightly-iridescent lines and circles reminiscent of a circuit board: the Tohsaka Crest. "The crest was undamaged, and you're still young enough to receive it, on your other arm. Of course it will still be more difficult than when you were younger but…"

Kirei trailed off and shrugged. "It's your choice, Rin." He said. "But as I said, all is not lost. Your family's pride and dignity – as you see it – might have been hollow and meaningless all this time…but if so, then this is your chance to make it true and real, one way or another."

Ayame and Saber silently looked on, and after a few moments, Rin sighed. "I'll think about it." She said before looking up at Ayame. "Well?"

"I told you already," Ayame said with a sigh and a scratch at her head. "Even if you hadn't asked me to, I'd still have wiped the Matou off the face of the Earth. Call it…a personal stake."

"Personal?" Rin echoed. "Why?"

Ayame smiled but didn't answer. Instead, she moved onto another topic. "That said," she said. "I'll take you up on your offer, Second Owner. I didn't know there was a Second Owner, and I don't know if dad did, but as Father Kotomine said, ignorance is no excuse."

Kirei nodded in acknowledgment. "Since I'm still technically a magus despite only really being a spell-caster," Ayame said. "I'm technically squatting on your land, right? That's why, if the Matou are wiped out, let's call it even on that end, alright?"

Rin snorted and nodded. "If that's what you want, then fine." She said. "Just make sure you do kill them all off. Not just their Master, that slime Shinji Matou and his Servant – whoever it is – but also and especially their patriarch. Use your Servant if you have to."

"I was planning to." Ayame said. "I'm no match for an arch-magus on my own."

Rin nodded curtly, and Ayame tilted her head again. "What about you though?" she asked. "What will you do now?"

"I've already lost the war." Rin said bitterly. "Not that it really matters since as I said, even if I won it couldn't have given me what I wanted anyway, but more importantly…I have lost. So, I'm staying here, at least until I get my new arm. After that…we'll see."

"I…see…" Ayame said slowly before glancing at Saber. After a moment, he nodded back, and Ayame turned back to Rin. "Well…just so you know…if you want to, you can stay over at my place. Just give us a call, Father Kotomine has my number."

Rin didn't say anything, she just looked away and nodded once. Ayame and Saber again traded glances, and then glancing at Kirei the priest nodded at them both. "Alright," Ayame began. "Then we'll be going."

A/N

Rin's back, and Kirei does what he does best: telling the truth.