Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.

Purified by Fire, Dancing with Fairies

Chapter 29

Stars…

…the stars glimmered in countless points of light against the velvet dark of the night sky…

…Ayame could only stare up at them as she lay on her back, against the grass-covered ground.

She didn't know how long she lay there, for how long she'd been lying there, or how she even got there in the first place. Somehow…all that mattered…was looking up at that infinite vista, as though hearing a song only she could hear. And then slowly, she raised a hand, lifting it to the sky, as though to grasp and hold the stars.

But in the end, that was all she could do. Grasp at the air, and drop her arm to her side, empty as when she first lifted it.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a voice asked, and Ayame jolted, looking in its direction. There, seated on a rock, was a beautiful woman with violet eyes and white hair, wearing a dress of black under a cloak of white edged in blue. A jagged staff of black wood rested on the earth beside her.

For a long moment, Ayame stared, and then smiling, turned to look back at the stars. It was irrational, maybe even insane, not getting alarmed at having been so close to a stranger all this time, to say nothing of knowing nothing of how she even got here in the first place.

But…somehow…she just knew…

…this person was not an enemy.

"Did you know?" the woman asked. "In any age and in every place, children reach up as though to hold the stars in their hands. But then they realize their arms aren't long enough, and they step back. Apparently, that's what they call growing up."

"…yes, I know." Ayame admitted.

"And do you agree?" the woman asked.

"…we all have to grow up someday." Ayame said with a sigh, and briefly closing her eyes. "But…I don't believe growing up means having to give up on your dreams."

The woman smiled and nodded. "No," she said while looking back up at the stars. "I don't think so either. They really are beautiful, aren't they? A hundred billion stars in the sky, and a hundred billion lights to show Humanity the way, if only they'd open their eyes and see."

"…we just might." Ayame said.

"Yes," the woman said, turning back to her with a smile. "We just might."

Ayame turned her head to look at the other woman, whose face turned sad. "Our time is short." She said. "You're not meant to join us here yet, nor is it guaranteed. For now, and for a long time yet, you must still face the world. And for that, I have a gift for you."

"A gift…?" Ayame echoed.

"Yes," the woman said with a smile and a nod. "It's a name. Just a name, but one which will be a light to you even in the darkest of places."

"Names have power." Ayame said, and the woman nodded again.

"Indeed they do." She said. "So when your need is dire, when all hope seems lost, and no way forwards appears open, just say the name."

"And what name is that?" Ayame asked, and the woman smiled wider.

"Avalon." She said. "Avalon: The Ever-Distant Utopia, where the King goes to rest until the day he is needed once again."

"…I see." Ayame said with a slow nod, and turning back up at the sky. "I'll be sure to remember that."

The woman hummed, and also joined Ayame in regarding the stars once more. Ayame didn't know long she delayed, but eventually, she felt her eyelids grow heavy, sleep beckoning to her.

"How do I get back?" she asked.

The woman laughed. "Just sleep," she said. "And when you wake, face the world, as you have always done, Black and White Magician."

"Hmm…that title…I like it…" Ayame whispered, as she let her eyelids close, and the darkness take her, pulling her into the depths of slumber…

…and then her eyes flashed open, Ayame gasping and jolting out of bed…

…in her room?

"That was…?" she whispered. "A dream…? But it felt so…"

Then she blinked, at the sound of footsteps running outside, growing louder as they approached, until finally stopping outside her doors. Then the doors slid open with a bang, exposing her older sister Illya beyond.

…a little girl with platinum-blonde hair dressed in expensive-looking winter clothes smiling up at her…

…Illya pounced at the mention of ice cream, clambering up the balcony parapet and with some help from Ayame, sat down on the broom in front of her…

…a heavily-breathing, and clearly tearful Sella standing on her doorstep…

"You're still not awake yet?" Illya asked. "Seriously? You know it's a school day, right? Honestly, mom and dad are too soft on you…"

Illya trailed off though, as Ayame clutched at her head at the piercing pain shooting through it. "What's wrong?" she asked, stepping closer and kneeling down next to Ayame. "Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah…just a bit…" Ayame said. "What…what was…I…I don't understand…"

Unaware of Ayame's mental turmoil and confusion, Illya got to her feet with a sigh, hands on her hips as she did so. "That's probably because you overslept." She said. "Trust me, I know. I've been there before and learned my lesson. Anyway, hurry and get ready. Like I said, it's a school day, and it's not good to be late. Not to mention you might not get any breakfast if you don't hurry."

At that, Illya turned and strode out of Ayame's room, leaving the younger woman alone in her confusion. For a long time, Ayame just stared after Illya, and then getting to her feet, stared at her hands.

Then curling them into fists, lifted one to point a finger out the door. Again, she stared, expecting a beam to lance out…

…but it never did.

"…guess it really was just a dream…" Ayame said with a sigh, before stretching her limbs high overhead. Then walking to the closet, opened it to pull out her clothes for the day, and then walked out of her room to take a shower.

Through it all though, a nagging feeling lingered at the back of her mind.

This is wrong.

"Will you be coming home for dinner tonight?" Irisviel von Einzbern asked across the breakfast table.

"Hmm…oh…I'll see what I can do." Kiritsugu said as he briefly put down his rice bowl. "No promises though…sorry."

Irisviel sighed and then shook her head with a smile. "It's fine." She said. "Duty calls, right?"

"Hmm…" Kiritsugu hummed again in assent. "…we're close to cracking this case. We just need one piece of solid evidence, and we can finally bring them in before putting them away for good."

"Another case done, huh dad?" Illya asked.

"Yes." Kiritsugu said with a nod, before resuming eating his breakfast. Irisviel and Illya did the same, the only sounds to be heard for the next few minutes being that of the family eating and that of their utensils against china. Then Irisviel turned to her younger (adopted) child with a curious air.

"Is something wrong, Ayame-chan?" she asked. "You're strangely quiet this morning."

"Yeah, usually you're going on and on about happenings over at school." Illya agreed. "Did something happen?"

Ayame stopped eating, struggling to come up with an answer. Then there was that stabbing pain in her head again.

…Ayame walked into the crowded hall, slipping and pushing through the crowd to get a clear view…

…the previous contestant was already walking away, while Ayako was stepping up for her turn…

…bowing once to the judges, she took her pose, and lifted her bow…

…the clarity and determination in her eyes…the purpose in her movements…

…Ayame was sure Ayako had already won…

Ayame shook her head slowly while clutching at it, the stabbing pain throbbing deep inside accompanied by a flood of images going through her head. "...what…what is this…" she asked herself as her family – her family…really…father…mother…sister…are they really – worried visibly and audibly at her distress. "…memories…I remember…but…why are they so hazy…like looking out through dirty glass and the rain…are these really…?"

"I…I'm fine…" she said as the pain subsided, looking up at the worried expression of her family (?). "…my head just hurt badly right now."

"And that's why you shouldn't oversleep." Kiritsugu said, and Illya nodded in agreement.

"That's what I said earlier." She said, and Kiritsugu nodded in agreement. Irisviel though just pursed her lips.

"Oh enough, you two." She said. "It's not like Ayame-chan really oversleeps. She just makes up for lost time, considering how late she stays up to study. So you're not really one to talk, Illya."

"Mom…!"

Tuning out her family's – well, Illya and Irisviel's – argument, Ayame focused on her meal. All the while, that nagging feeling at the back of her mind grew stronger.

This is wrong.

This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong.

That nagging feeling at the back of Ayame's mind continued to linger, distracting and confusing her. It grew stronger every time she saw…someone she knew in more than a passing way. Each and every time, memories flooded through her mind in the form of images, accompanied by piercing pain lancing through her head.

There was Shinji Matou and his girlfriend, Rin Tohsaka.

…a writhing figure lay on the ground, its flesh black and rotting, oozing pus and slime that stank like a house of the dead and the dying…

…a young woman dressed in red and black wept at a table, one arm made from metal, Ayame coming round to comfort her…

…that same young woman rained blows down on a shield of golden light, her eyes blazing with hateful insanity…

There was Student Council Chairwoman Issei Ryuudo.

…a bespectacled young man sternly lectured several underclassmen for repeated instances of tardiness…

…that same young man speaking with Ayako about extended practice for the kyuudo team after class hours…

…hearing his name mentioned among those killed in the destruction of Ryuudo Temple…

By then Ayame's head was throbbing so hard she was starting to sway on her feet, and her breathing was going uneven. Thankfully, Taiga Fujimura seemed to be…a spot of normality. Somehow, the quirky English teacher didn't trigger any flood of memories (?) into Ayame's head, and more pain with them.

Quite the opposite, really: by the time the morning's English class was done, the pain had subsided to a point. It wasn't gone, but Ayame's was managing…somehow…

"Are you alright?" Ayako asked as she ate lunch with Ayame. "You've been…I don't know…spaced-out, the whole morning?"

"…my head hurts…" Ayame said shortly. "…and…no, never mind."

"Y-yes…I see…" Ayako stammered out.

Ayame glanced at her friend, and then sighed. "Sorry," she said while rubbing her forehead. "I don't mean to sound…unfriendly, or ungrateful for your concern, it's just that…"

Ayame trailed off uncertainly, but Ayako was already nodding in understanding. "It's fine." She said, taking Ayame's hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "I know you didn't really mean anything when you said that, and your migraine's probably just getting to you. Still, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

Ayame nodded, and smiling at Ayako squeezed back in gratitude. "Thanks." She simply said, and Ayako grinned.

"No problem at all, Ayame."

Ayame's head throbbed painfully as she drank a glass of water. In the kitchen behind her, Illya and Irisviel chatted away at the stove while making dinner, their voices melting into the loud bubbling of the pot and the dull roar of the exhaust fan.

"…so I said to Chloe," Illya was saying. "It doesn't matter if the guy thinks wearing a condom insults his manhood, since he's not the who's going to get pregnant if they go bareback."

Ayame grit her teeth as the two older women burst out laughing.

This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong.

"In all seriousness though," Irisviel began. "Chloe should just leave that man. I mean…she could do so much better. She's going to college, and is aiming for a law degree, while that man's never even finished high school. And from what you've told me, the man's never had a job for even a year."

"I know, right?" Illya asked. "But Chloe seems to think they can still make it work out, and no matter what I say, she still insists on keeping the course."

"Really…that makes me worry so much…"

"…hmm…me too, mom, me too…"

Breathing heavily, Ayame leaned forward against the counter, pressing the cold glass against her forehead to try and keep the pain under the control. It didn't do much good, if at all, but she could hardly do nothing. By now the nagging feeling was no longer simply at the back of her mind, but felt like it was clamping down, as though claws of cold metal were driving into her head from all sides.

This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong.

"…thankfully Miyu's got better taste in men." Illya continued to gossip away about her college friends. "Hey boyfriend's such a gentleman, and like her, is studying in college too."

"Yeah, if I remember right he's going for a degree in economics, right?" Irisviel asked while stirring the pot.

"That's right." Illya said with a nod. "I think…yeah, now that I think about, he needs it if he's going to follow in his father's footsteps. You know how things are in this country of ours. If you want to go into politics, you'll need an economics degree."

"Hmm…I'm not really sure I approve of Miyu being with someone aiming to go into politics," Irisviel said. "But I probably shouldn't judge."

Illya giggled, before abruptly breaking off to look out the kitchen window as a car drove up outside. "Oh!" she happily said. "Dad's here!"

Irisviel looked out the window as well, and brightened. "He really is!" She said. "Oh how wonderful…though I hope he didn't get into trouble for coming home tonight."

"…I'm just thankful dad's here…even if it's only for dinner…" Illya remarked.

"…well…I suppose that is something to be thankful for." Irisviel agreed.

The two of them fell silent then, focusing on their cooking while waiting for Kiritsugu to make his way to the house. The noises of the kitchen drowned out the approaching footsteps from outside, and then the kitchen door opened, allowing Kiritsugu to enter.

"I'm home." He gruffly said with a small smile. "I'll have to go back to the office after dinner, but…"

The man trailed off as Ayame's glass fell from her hand, and falling to the ground, shattered with a crash. "AYAME!" Kiritsugu and Illya yelled while rushing to the youngest member of their family, who had collapsed in a sprawl on the ground. "Ayame…what's wrong? Ayame! Ayame! Ayame!"

"Just feel."

Ayame blinked awake, her fainting spell not even lasting a minute. The pain was gone now, leaving behind a murky haziness, as though…

…yes, it was as though she was looking through dirty water, or trying to hear a whisper in a crowd, or running a hand through caramel.

What was this?

Kiritsugu sat on a boulder overlooking the stream, one leg crossed beneath the other, which hung down over the boulder's edge. Standing knee-deep in the stream below, Ayame pointed with her right hand's index finger up the stream, towards a small waterfall and the rock face behind it. "Just concentrate on what you want to happen," Kiritsugu continued. "Feel, don't think."

"Dad?" Ayame whispered. "Is that you?"

Ayame didn't say anything, the only sound being that of the water flowing and the chirping of the birds in the trees nearby. And then magic circuits flashed along her arm, and with the sharp crack of displaced air, a beam of glowing energy lanced from her finger through the air, and towards the waterfall. Hissing filled the air as water flashed into steam, almost simultaneously with the cracking of breaking rock.

"This is…?" Ayame whispered, oblivious to Kiritsugu and Illya shouting and shaking her, lost in a world of her own.

No…lost in her memories…her true memories…

"I did it!" Ayame yelled, turning to her father with a grin. Kiritsugu nodded with a smile, and getting up jumped down from the boulder to join Ayame in the water.

"Yes, you did." He said, patting her on the shoulder and causing Ayame's grin to grow even wider. "But, you also saw what it did to the water and the rock, didn't you?"

"Yes." Ayame said with a nod. "The water turned to steam, and the rock broke."

"Yes," Kiritsugu agreed. "Now, imagine what would happen if you used this spell against Human beings."

"T-that's…"

"Not very pretty, is it?" Kiritsugu asked with a gentle smile, and Ayame nodded. "This spell is very useful, but very dangerous too. That's why, if you have to use it, then it should only be if you really have to."

"But…what about…what about 'magi walking with death' and all that?"

"Yes, there is that." Kiritsugu agreed, before sinking down to Ayame's face level, and holding her face in his hands smiled gently at her. "But, as much as possible, I don't want you killing people. Call it…a father…your father's, selfishness."

Ayame smiled back. "You're not selfish, dad." She said, and Kiritsugu laughed.

"Ah…I see…" Ayame whispered, briefly closing her eyes, and letting a pair of tears flow from them and down her cheeks, at what could have been. "…so that's what this is…how very cruel…"

"Maybe," he said, standing back up. "But just because you have to be ready to kill if you have to, you don't have to kill if you don't have to. Remember, what is in your power to do, is also in your power not to do."

"…yes, I understand."

"Yes…" Ayame said, opening her eyes and focusing them on the facsimiles above her." "…I understand dad, and thank you."

"Ayame…?" Kiritsugu asked curiously, as Ayame raised her hands, and pointed her fingers at Kiritsugu and Illya's chests.

Then air cracked as it was violently displaced, and filling with the stink of boiling blood and burned meat. Irisviel screamed as both Kiritsugu and Illya were thrown back, their chests reduced to mangled ruins by Ayame's heat lasers, the energy in them literally boiling and bursting cells, blood, and organs without fail.

"AYAME!" she shouted while staggering away. "WHAT HAVE YOU…?"

Ayame fluidly leapt to her feet, and pointed her fingers at the older woman. "What are you?" she asked, before opening fire.

Irisviel gurgled as multiple beams fired one after another all but tore her to pieces. But as she fell, her eyes glowed, and an inhuman expression of hatred appeared over her face. "Angra…Mainyu…curses you…" she whispered.

The glass on the windows cracked, then the walls, and reality itself, before collapsing in a tide of utter darkness.

"What the hell is that?" Lancer breathed, staring with wide eyes and an aghast expression on his face at the tower of black...evil, rising high into the sky above, to end in a claw-like pinnacle. Above it, hovering as though to be grasped by the tower below, was a spherical void, a window into nothingness, where reality ceased to be and everything and anything faced complete and utter dissolution.

Baleful light shone down from the void, shimmering unnaturally through the mists that shrouded the tower. Lancer didn't like it. And neither did Saber.

"…I'm getting a very bad feeling that that's the Grail." Saber said. "Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Besides…you understand, right? You've been through as many battles as I have in life, right, Hound of Chulainn?"

"That damn priest has got some explaining to do!" Lancer raged. "That's what we've been fighting for this whole time? Madness!"

"Yes…I know…" Saber said softly, and Lancer looked at him curiously.

"What's the problem, King Arthur?" he demanded.

"Ayame is over there…somewhere…" Saber answered.

"…your Master…?" Lancer asked.

"…yeah…fighting your Master…" Saber answered.

Lancer made a sound of disgust. "You have no idea how much I hate having to call that mad little bitch 'Master'." He spat.

Saber glanced at him evenly, and Lancer met his gaze. The two Servants stared each other for several long moments, and then both nodded once. "You have my sympathies." Saber said. "But right now, I'm more worried about Ayame. She…I can't reach her at all. I can't…it's like she's just gone."

"…you think she got caught in that…thing?" Lancer asked with the slightest hint of sympathy.

"…I fear she was." Saber replied after a moment.

"Shit, man." Lancer said. "I'm sorry."

"…Ayame's stronger than she looks." Saber said after a long moment, and turning to Lancer. "So even though it looks bad now, I'll believe in her until the very end."

Lancer narrowed his eyes, but nodded after a moment. "Alright, King Arthur." He said. "I'll follow your lead in this. But for now, let's go find that son of a bitch Kotomine. I want answers!"

"Yeah, me too." Saber agreed, and nodding at each other, the two Servants hurried off. It took then only a few moments to reach where Kirei was still fighting Xiaolang. Lancer looked ready to join in, only to be restrained by a hand on his arm from Saber. "This isn't our fight."

Lancer looked ready to argue, but after a moment, took a deep breath, and nodded. "Guess it's not." He said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Fianna or anything of the sort, but…yeah, it's not good to butt in on someone else's fight."

Saber smiled. "If that assassin loses," he said. "Feel free to take his place."

Lancer just grunted in reply.

Xiaolang dodged a Black Key thrown at his head, followed by another swinging down to cut from the right. This left him open to a right hook from Kirei, striking into Xiaolang's cheek, but the assassin went with the force of blow, spinning down and away, avoiding another swing from Kirei that would have taken his head clean off.

Kirei pressed the offensive, feinting with the Black Keys in one hand before punching out with the other with enough force to shatter a concrete wall. Xiaolang turned the blow away with a wrist, before elbowing Kirei back to the chest. Energy flashed over Xiaolang's armor, silicon flash-forging into a monomolecular blade that swung towards Kirei's neck.

Kirei jumped back, barely avoiding getting his throat cut open, but still feeling his skin burn at a near miss from the red heat of the flash-forged blade. Then turning a stab towards his torso with his wrist, Kirei punched Xiaolang in the torso, the assassin flying with the force of impact to keep it from rupturing his internal organs.

Kirei leapt forward, throwing a blow that reduced a barely-standing wall to rubble after Xiaolang dodged low, and then striking at Kirei, locked him in an arm-lock with one arm, and used the other to swing at his neck. Kirei again narrowly-dodged, and allowing Xiaolang to elbow him in the gut.

Aiming to snap Kirei's neck, Xiaolang grabbed him by the head, but Kirei grabbed an arm and spinning him around slammed him down into the ground. Black Keys flashed into existence and Kirei struck down, only for Xiaolang to grab his sword and clumsily parry before rolling to his feet.

He swung three times, first low, and then twice high, Kirei blocking all three, before the two of them locked blades. Blue energies shimmered around Xiaolang, and with a force that shattered the ground beneath his feet pushed Kirei back a few meters, before Kirei ground his Black Keys free and spun away.

Anticipating that, Xiaolang kicked out at Kirei's back, knocking him back a couple of steps, then again with an elbow to the face before spinning down, swinging out with his sword to cut Kirei's belly open. Kirei dodged back, then feinting, dodged low before striking hard at Xiaolang's gut. As the assassin staggered back, Kirei struck again, punching Xiaolang in the face once then twice, before striking with his fists simultaneously at Xiaolang's torso.

The assassin went flying, shattered armor falling off of him. Bouncing along the ground a few times, he came to a halt with a gasp of pain. Then he was rolling up on all fours, spitting out blood and bile, and then grabbing his sword, made to get up…

…and was again sent flying at a kick from Kirei.

Falling on his back, Xiaolang gasped and coughed in pain, before his eyes widened as Kirei loomed above him, legs placed wide apart in a stance, and striking down at his head.

A/N

Let's wrap this up, folks. Yes, that's Merlin. I know he was male in earlier chapters, but it's Merlin. If Merlin wants to be a she, what's stopping her? And if Merlin wants to be a he, again, what's stopping him? Or even both…if Merlin is both, should the pronoun be 'it'?