In the middle of the night
Just call my name, I'm yours to tame
In the middle of the night
I'm wide awake, I crave your taste
All night long 'til morning comes
- Middle of the Night by Elley Duhé
As soon as we met for lunch in the Great Hall, my heart leapt with unbridled joy. When I looked at him now, I thought of his soft lips that kissed me a few hours ago. He seemed to feel the same because he could hardly take his eyes off me. Professor Sinistra was absent when we sat down at the table as she had apparently already eaten. So, nobody sat between us.
"Did you have a pleasant day, Professor?" he asked quietly, pushing the golden anti-fatigue potion towards me.
"It couldn't be more pleasant," I replied with a grin and drained the mug. My leaden tiredness was immediately exchanged for new energy. He smiled and poked at his food. I was so excited that I could hardly swallow a bite.
"Are you planning to visit the Greenhouse again tonight?" he asks quietly, letting his gaze glide over the house tables seemingly unconcerned.
"Yes, it's going to be a pleasant evening."
"That sounds like a fulfilling evening program."
"I hope it will be," I replied cheekily. He gave me a meaningful look and I realized that we clearly need to locate a few rooms in the castle that were not under the Headmaster's control. As if reading my mind, Severus answered very quietly:
"I will soon try to find a room that caught my eye in my last year at school. When I had to… hide, I found adequate shelter there."
"That sounds very interesting." I whispered out of the corners of my mouth. We tried to sit side by side in silence, although I felt more like shouting my luck out loud.
I left the table before Severus, as my walk to the Greenhouse took longer than his walk to the dungeons. In doing so, my hand slipped over his hand, apparently unintentionally to outsiders. He twitched slightly and looked deep into my eyes. A shiver ran down my body and I knew he felt the same way. I said goodbye to everyone at the table with a smile. Dumbledore toasted me from a goblet and wished me a pleasant day.
"Professor, don't we need to lift the leaves slightly first?" Charlie Weasley asked me. His amber eyes looked at me uncertainly.
"Yes of course. Forgive me! I don't even know where my head is today. Thank you, Mister Weasley. 5 points to Gryffindor for at least paying attention." I knew where my head was. In my mind was just Severus, his lips, his hands, his dark eyes. I swallowed and tried to get back to class.
The students grinned slightly. I almost made a serious mistake harvesting the Horsetail that would have rendered the plant useless for potions. I slowly lifted the leaves before tapping them three times with my wand.
"Now you can cut them. Anyone know what they can be used for?" I asked. A couple of hands shot up.
"Bletchley!"
"You can use them for healing potions against internal and external bleeding as well as damage in the kidney area.", answered a gaunt girl with light blond pigtails.
"Very good! I couldn't have said it better. 5 points for Slytherin. And now it's your turn! When you're done, please put the herb in your baskets!"
The students eagerly set about their task and I wandered absently through the Greenhouse to watch them doing it.
"Please make sure you wave your wand lightly three times before tapping the plant." I admonished two students. I was functioning, but my heart ached for the darkness, because then I would be able to hug Severus again. I blushed slightly at the thought.
After half an hour I saw that all the students had filled their baskets.
"Many Thanks! The lesson is over. Next week we will focus on the fanged geranium, which likes to come up in O.W.L. exams. And by the next hour, please write an inch about other medicinal plants that can stop bleeding." I called out to the class. They packed their things to a loud murmur and I saw a figure in a long black cloak head towards the Greenhouses. I grinned and immediately blushed. I got dizzy with excitement and held on to a table full of earth and dragon dung. Charlie Weasley was dawdling, apparently watching me.
"Are you all right, Professor?" he asked confused with wide eyes.
"For sure. I think I might need a few more students who pay attention like you do," I said lightly. His ears immediately turned red. He quickly slung his bag over his shoulder and considered saying something else. I smiled at him encouragingly, but the door swung open and Severus leaned against the door frame.
"Don't dally, Mister Weasley! You're late for your next class. Hurry! Otherwise, I'll take a few points from your House." Severus said menacingly with a raised eyebrow. The boy didn't need to be told twice and literally fled from the Greenhouse.
"Don't be so rude to him! He just saved my reputation as an herbal witch." I said reproachfully.
"But only because he had his eye on you." Severus whispered, slowly walking towards me. My knees went weak and my heart started pounding rapidly against my chest.
"Where do you come up with such nonsense?" I asked, grinning.
"Let's say I recognize the look he's giving you. I have that too." Severus replied, his face now a hand's breadth from mine.
"Are you jealous?" I whispered.
"Maybe a little." He pursed his lip, pulled out his wand, and locked the door, mirroring the windows to the outside. He did it so quickly that I was amazed.
"And what are you doing in the Greenhouse? You weren't supposed to come here until tonight."
"I couldn't stand it any longer. I feel like my self-control is gone when it comes to you."
We kissed immediately. I waved my wand behind my back to clean the dirt table and Severus lifted me onto it.
I felt his warm breath on my skin. My body trembles in anticipation as I hastily unbutton his frock coat. He grinned as he unzipped my dress. His eyes lit up as he touched my warm bare skin. I ran my hands down his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath the soft silk of his skin. His breath hitched, but soon he composed himself and unbuttoned his trousers. I got what was mine and he got his, I was tied down by the storm that raged above and within me.
After what felt like minutes to me for what was like three hours, I began to do some self-prep in the mirror by the door. My long hair was completely tousled, my cheeks were glowing.
He hugged me from behind. We looked at each other in the mirror, grinning. I had always dreamed of this sight - we both as lovers. The black strands of his hair fell in his face. His eyes wandered down my body until they found mine again.
"I wish you could just stay like this," Severus said in a low voice.
"That would be far too obvious, Severus." There was regret in my voice.
"Indeed. But it's probably also noticeable that we're both swallowed up by the face of the earth at the moment.", he stated mockingly.
"We have to come up with something."
"I think we should have our meetings to the night, and I'll stock up on the potion you've already tried. If only I could get the side effects under control. And I found the hidden room on the 7th floor opposite the Tapestry of Barnabas the Batty again."
"And do you think you can postpone your longing until night?" I asked with a grin. Severus jerked me around to face him.
"Hard," he replied, kissing me deeply. After a while, however, he reluctantly pulled away and headed for the door. He turned around again, grinning slightly, and opened the exit with his wand before disappearing into the darkness.
We were almost late for dinner in the Great Hall. I faced the mirror again and waved my wand, which instantly made me look fresh again. The only thing I couldn't hide was the traitorous sparkle in my eyes and the glow on my cheeks. So, I happily ran up to the castle. On the way there I met Hagrid, who was also late.
"Oh, professor. I thought I'd be the last to eat. Do you still have something to do with the plants?"
"Yes, I still had to make some preparations for class." I answered evasively.
"Saw Snape sneaking out of the Greenhouse. Didn't disturb you at work, did he?" Hagrid asked, seemingly unconcerned.
"No, he just wanted to ask if I had any leftover gillyweed." I said, my mouth dry.
"Mh, was you longer with you? Didn't even see him go into the Greenhouse when I...", he cleared his throat in embarrassment and I took my chance.
"Why are you late anyway, Hagrid? Was there another emergency in the Forbidden Forest?" I asked.
"No, just patrol. Want to see if everything is ok."
We walked quickly into the Great Hall together. Many of the students raised their heads briefly, but Hagrid and I didn't seem to arouse much curiosity together, so we sat down unobserved at the set table. When I reached out for the mashed potatoes, to my regret it disappeared and was replaced with sweets. So, with a slight sigh, I grabbed some pudding to satisfy my hunger. But Severus pushed his plate of potatoes and vegetables towards me. He knew me only too well. I gratefully took something from his plate as he watched me, a mischievous smirk on his face.
I lay awake in the middle of the night. I thought of him, of us and I got hot. Those burning flames of desire rolled over me like a hurricane. I never dreamed that Severus and I could still get together. After all this time? I got up and put on my dressing gown. I couldn't sleep, I had to go to him. I had to feel him. On me. In me. All over my body.
Suddenly there was a soft knock at my door. When I opened them a crack, dark eyes shone out at me from a pale and narrow face.
"I can't be without you..." he whispered, barely audible, his eyes uncertain. I grabbed his collar, pulled him into my room and kissed him deeply. How can I ever live without him again?...
"Wow," he breathed as I flopped down next to him. I looked at him just in time to see a satisfied smile on his face. It spread to my face as well. He gave a short laugh at my look.
"I like it when you laugh."
"For real? I remember you saying that to me before. But I don't think I did a good job of your request…I feel weird doing it, like my facial muscles are being pulled in strange directions, making my face even more…" Severus didn't finish his sentence. I knew he wouldn't describe himself as handsome and maybe to others he wasn't. But to me he meant everything. To me he was the most handsome man there was.
"Do you like it when I laugh?" I asked him. My eyes looked at his soft lips.
"Very much," he replied in astonishment.
"Why?"
"It makes everything about you shine and it makes me… happy," he stated in a low voice.
"Exactly," I said, beaming at him. I saw him think before he grinned again.
"I understand. Maybe I'll make a few exceptions just for you."
I nodded contentedly before I rested my head contentedly on his chest and ran my fingers playfully over his torso.
"This is a whole new experience for me that I never dreamed of." He said in a deep voice.
I nodded. For me, it was a kind of intimacy that I knew but had always longed for with him. I snuggled up to Severus. He put his arm around me to hold me even tighter to his side. His other hand began to stroke my long hair affectionately. He closed his eyes in pleasure. But I felt that I fell into a peaceful sleep before him.
Our meetings now took place secretly in the Castle, the Forbidden Forest, the Room of Requirement, the Astronomy Tower, the Owlery, the Shrieking Shack. Always at night and hidden so no one knew we were a couple. We were like bats and our lives were fed up in the dark of night. Despite this secrecy, we could hardly believe our shared happiness. We pushed aside the approaching danger, the end of our carefree days. We used our potion brewing skills and now almost daily used our golden potion called clades lassitudine against tiredness. The side effects didn't bother us, but we both avoided bright lights and our skin turned pale. I therefore preferred to work in the greenhouse at dusk in the morning and close the curtains of my office. But that was the price that we spent the nights together undisturbed.
It was getting harder and harder for Severus to walk the hallways of the school without smiling. I could hardly hide my happiness But it was not noticed because nobody knew how unhappy I was before. I felt like I was finally being myself. Happy, smiling and satisfied.
Whenever we met in the corridors, we only greeted each other briefly and collegially. At dinner, we acted like we did before we kissed so as not to attract attention. After all, our friendship was known to the teachers. So, we continued to meet in the evenings in the Greenhouses or in his office in the dungeons. We corrected essays side by side, but most of the time our bodies touched and we sat close together. However, sometimes it was not possible to work and we preferred to discover our bodies instead of correcting unimaginative answers. It was often several nights in a row. But didn't we deserve it? We had so many years of desire to catch up.
Only Dumbledore seemed to suspect something, because he asked Severus to be careful and not to endanger anyone unnecessarily. And he watched us both frequently. But the months passed, and he didn't speak to us any further. Either he was silent about our intense connection, or he didn't know anything about it. But somehow, I didn't care about his opinion either. It was time Severus and I thought only of ourselves while we could.
