/Thank you to everyone continuing to read this story, and I hope you are all enjoying it. I really appreciate it./
I'm in the magic so deep I know
I'm not even fighting it, so
You can do what you like with me
I forget I used to be free
I was wandering
I could not find my way
No more wondering
Now you fill up my day
A madness rising high, rising within
I want to give you everything
I'll give you everything
I'm in love with you
- I´ m in love with you by Endre Nordvik
At the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin game, I sat in the rows of my old house. While I wasn't allowed to be partial, I still crossed my fingers for the house with the lion. Severus had positioned himself in the Slytherin bleachers directly across from me. Even Severus was dressed all in emerald green and I had to admit he looked damn good in my favorite color. I knew he hadn't seen many of his team's games before as a student. But as a Professor and head of Slytherin house, he seemed to be celebrating the ambition of victory in front of his eyes. It amused me and we grinned at each other.
I clapped as the teams rolled in. I could see the green and silver robes of the Slytherin team and the Gryffindors in their red and gold uniform. Red vs. Green. I immediately recognized the bright red hair of Charlie Weasley, who, as captain of his team, shook Slytherins captain Jonathan Strenck's hand while Madame Hooch stood in the middle. The sun blinded the players and Charlie put a protective hand over his forehead as he looked around the Gryffindor stands. His gaze lingered in my direction and he grinned confidently before pushing off the field.
The crowd shrieked, goals followed for Gryffindor, then goals for Slytherin. Charlie drew circles across the board to spot the golden snitch. He also called out various instructions to his teammates. It was tough for him - Captain and Seeker at the same time. An unfortunate combination for me, because he had to look for the snitch from a height and with a certain concentration and at the same time be concentrated in the game to give the others help. I also saw him occasionally glance around the stands before my gaze was distracted by Severus, who was watching me instead of the game in front of him. Even from this great distance I saw his black eyes twinkle and I was just imagining other things that would obviously give me more fun and satisfaction then Quidditch when suddenly the crowd around me booed. Everyone stared up, mouth open, hand partially held in front of them. My eyes followed theirs and I watched Charlie fly, hit by a Bludger, with only one hand on his broomstick, his body dangling precariously over the ground. His other arm hung motionless at his side. I knew interfering with the game was forbidden, but I pulled out my wand. I got up and looked up at the boy, pale.
But he flew as fast as he could to a corner and he let go, grabbing the snitch and trying to grab the broomstick again. For a terrifying moment, I thought he was going to fall, but he made it and landed on the ground with a hard crash. The crowd cheered, but all I could see was his pained face and I quickly ran down the field. I saw Professor McGonagall scoot off the stands as well.
We were with him almost at the same time.
"Mister Weasley, that was really-" I was about to say thoughtlessly, but Minerva cut me off.
"-outstanding! You are the best Seeker this team has ever had since James Potter."
"Thank you, Professor!" Charlie ground out. He smiled, but I immediately realized that it took a lot of effort.
"But you should see Madam Pomfrey!" Minerva finally stated.
"Oh, I can take care of that. The Greenhouses are closer and as you know I'm not unfamiliar with injuries." I spoke quickly in between. The boy needed help immediately. Professor McGonagall thought for a moment before agreeing.
"Then come with me, Mister Weasley. I promise you, we'll have it soon!" I held out my arm to him. He hesitated before accepting my help. He blushed slightly because he seemed to get nervous really easily, but I remembered my own insecurities in my youth and looked at him encouragingly.
"That was pretty exciting, wasn't it?" I asked Charlie as we walked to the Greenhouse together to break the silence. He was usually someone who didn't hold back with words.
"It's nice that you were there to watch." he said and tried to sound strong, but I could clearly hear pain in his voice, coursing through his body.
"After you asked me so nicely, how could I have stayed away?" I asked smiling while his body started shaking with pain. I knew why Quidditch wasn't my favorite of the wizarding world.
We got to the Greenhouse 3 and I sat him down in an old wooden chair before rummaging through my emergency closet.
"Show me your arm, Mister Weasley!" I ordered and stepped closer to him.
"It's not just the arm I'm afraid." Charlie answered and tried to grin crookedly, which was more like a grimace due to the pain. I raised an eyebrow. His face was pale, but his many freckles still beamed at me.
"Where?" I asked. He opened his cloak and I saw blood on his shirt.
"Please take it off so I can examine you." I ordered now more tensely.
Charlie hesitated again and blushed but removed it. I saw a large gash on his muscular chest, oozing blood. I gently felt the bones and muscles. He flinched at my touch.
"You broke a rib and your shoulder joint. Also a decent wound. The bludger must have hit you hard."
"But didn't you see it? There were two bludgers at the same time from different directions. One hit my chest, the other my shoulder."
"And you could keep yourself on the broom?" I asked shocked. With my skills on a broomstick, it was hard for me to imagine how he could keep up.
"Yes, I have practice. But didn't you see it?" His jaw dropped at the thought that someone might have missed something like this.
"Well, I was distracted for a moment." I explained and thought of the black eyes that had cast a spell over me. Charlie looked disappointed. "But I've been following your impressive catch." I stated.
He nodded and looked at the ground, he was still visibly sad.
I should disinfect it first, just in case.", I said and pulled out a vial of red steaming liquid, which I let drip onto his wound. He gritted his teeth briefly, but no sound escaped his brave lips.
"Episkey," I said softly, jabbing my wand carefully at his broken rib and I did the same with his broken shoulder.
"I'll apply some more diptam essence to you, then no scars will form." I dabbed carefully on the reddened areas of his fair skin. He watched my every move.
"Do you miss him?" he suddenly asked in a low voice.
"Who do you mean?" I met his familiar eyes.
"My uncle Gideon. I remember your visit at Christmas. He was talking to my mother about proposing to you." A knot tightened in my stomach.
"Yes, I miss him very often. It was a difficult time for me after his death." My voice was hoarse and I felt the past holding me captive again. Charlie watched me carefully and was silent for a moment before continuing.
"They say I have his eyes." He looked at me defiantly. As if there were any other answer to that.
"Yes, you have. And Bill looks a lot like him too. I'm glad he lives on in this certain way." I grinned at Charlie, who suddenly avoided my eyes. He still reminded me of the little boy I met many years before. I hesitated, but then I grabbed into my robe pocket. Inside, next to Eileen Snape's handkerchief, I found my gold pocket watch with the cracked class.
"Look, I always carry his watch here with me. It reminds me not to forget what I want out of life." I explained to Charlie, who was now wide-eyed.
"What would that be?" he asked me curiously and looked me in the face again.
"Love. Your Uncle Gideon showed me I was worth it. He gave me a lot and I am extremely grateful to him for that." I replied and lovingly stroked the gold watch with the cracked glass. I saw Charlie swallow, but he nodded eagerly.
"Yes, that fits my memories of him. I think he's hard to replace, don't you?" he said to me in a low voice and his gaze literally pierced me.
"No one is interchangeable. And your uncle will always have his well-deserved place in my heart." I stated, closed my eyes briefly and saw Gideon smile in my heart.
"I hope you can still love someone like him again." he said in a strained voice and I frowned at him. He wasn't the right person to talk to about something like that.
"Charlie, thank you. But I think we should get back to your injuries and not my personal life. I'm your teacher now, not your future aunt, yes?" I said firmly but kindly.
"Mh, as an aunt I didn't see you anyway." He blurted out. I raised an eyebrow. Was that an insult? He recognized my irritation immediately. I guess I really was an open book when it came to my feelings.
"I...I didn't mean it. Well, you sure would have been a great aunt. I mean... um, rather you're still so young and...I..." he cleared his throat while I grinned in amusement and put on the last bandage.
"So, Mister Weasley. Take it easy please, or Madam Pomfrey will want to see you in the hospital wing after all. But I know that nobody likes to stay there. Especially not when there's a big party in the common room that night." I stated, distracting from his insecurity. I also knew what it was like to use the wrong words and stammer as a student.
He quickly put his shirt back on. It was stained with blood, but with a flick of my wand and my skill at cleansing charms, it was like new again.
"Thank you, Professor!", said Charlie hastily and jumped off the chair to go back to his friends.
I immediately saw a figure in emerald green rushing towards the greenhouses. I waved at Severus and he slowed his pace before coming up to me, breathing heavily.
"Are you okay with Weasley? I know you're a little attached to this boy." he said a little out of breath. I smirked at the thought of Severus running all the way over here to check on the health of a Gryffindor student.
"He's fine. But I still don't understand how anyone could put themselves in such danger over a game," I stated, stowing my emergency gear while Severus watched me.
"You have to learn that. As a Head of House, I enjoy defeating the other Houses more than as a student.", he said and his eyes travelled down my body and lingered on my red gold scarf. He was right, we were all partial.
"Slytherin pride, eh?" I teased him grinning.
"Ah, my lioness," he whispered, kissing my cheek gently.
We spent the Christmas season the way I always wanted it to be. Snuggle up in front of a roaring fire with a view of the Black Lake in my rooms. We would have found it too conspicuous if we both disappeared together over the holidays, where Dumbledore was aware of our family situation. So, we enjoyed Christmas with only a few students because that way we got more sleep as we didn't have to limit our undisturbed hours to just the nights. And we found that our rooms were right on top of each other - with just a few floors in between. I sometimes wondered if it was coincidence or if Dumbledore gave me these rooms on purpose.
On January 9th we woke up hugging each other in my bedroom at Hogwarts.
"Do you have some time for me in the afternoon?" I asked Severus quietly as he slowly and unwillingly got dressed.
"Yes, the usual phrases of the others are right there in the staff room. You know I don't like big celebrations."
"I remember that," I stated. His birthdays as a child still cast a dark shadow over him in the present.
"Why? Have you been up to something again?" Severus asked me in a soft voice and sparkling eyes. I felt myself blushing again. It was weird. I felt more comfortable and happier in his presence than with any other person and yet he made me nervous at the sometimes. He'll drive me insane one day, dammit.
"Yeah, you could say that," I said with a mischievous grin.
"As long as it's not skating on the lake..." His voice couldn't hold back a chuckle. Immediately I thought of our great fifth year artistry when we gave this to Lily for her birthday.
"Yeah, we had great talent, didn't we?" I laughed at the memory of both of us taking turns landing on our butts.
"As a matter of fact. A steep career has certainly passed us by," he stated with amusement. I looked him in the face. When he laughed like that, he looked like the boy from back then. The corners of his mouth turned up so that his lips tightened. His eyes narrowed, giving way to a few laugh lines. I literally melted away at the sight.
"Okay, then 3 p.m. at the castle exit," I said before we started walking to the staff room together.
He was already waiting for me when I approached him with a small bag that I had hexed. We both wrapped up warm because the snowflakes were dancing happily outside.
"I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous and I'm wondering if I'll get sick," he said softly. He took a quick look around the empty hallway before offering me his arm. I was happy about this closeness, which he always gave me, even when he ran the risk of someone watching us.
"Let yourself be surprised. I'll guide you and you don't ask where it goes, yes?"
"Agreed. But that doesn't improve my excitement at all.", he said and I could almost feel his insecurity. It amused me to see him like this.
"You know I don't like to party," he stated again.
"Of course, and don't worry, I didn't have any guests planned," I said with a conspiratorial look.
"Just the two of us?" he prodded.
"Yes, if you don't mind," I said, raising my eyebrows.
"No, no. On the contrary." His cheeks reddened slightly from the cold that hit us on our way.
"How else did you spend your birthday? I mean before I came here?" I asked him, even though I already knew a little bit about Minerva, who had told me in the staff room.
Severus thought briefly about the past few years before answering me.
"To be honest I've spent the last few years in front of the fireplace with a good book and the Firewhisky Minerva gives me every year from Scotland. She's got good taste in that." We walked side by side for a moment and I could picture him. Lost in his solitude.
"And you? Was there a big celebration in your honour?" he asked with a small smile. He knew the answer to that because I was definitely not a party animal. Thinking back on that matter, I couldn't help but think of answering the last letter from Remus, because he was the answer to Severus' question. In his last letter, Remus wrote that he was feeling better and that he had already found a new job.
"Remus always reliably awaited me in front of St. Mungo's, as he used to do in the company of Lily, James, Peter and Sirius in the old days. We always went to the same hidden muggle bar to celebrate my birthday. Now we were just the two of us and remembered those days gone by." I said quietly and thought of the people who had left far too young.
Severus stiffened when I told him about it. The ghosts of the past still haunted him like me. We walked on in silence and in our own minds, but our feet quickly found my target and dissolved his embarrassment.
"Close your eyes, Severus. I want to prepare something more.", I said and he immediately closed his eyes. Without further enquiries. I knew that he could only do it because he fully trusted me and that knowledge filled my heart with great joy. I opened my bag and pulled out my wand.
Severus' jaw dropped. He stared into the now-lit rock cave. A table, two comfortable chairs, a fire and party decorations were now inside. On the table was a birthday cake and the said fire whiskey from Minerva. She had presented him with Severus in the staff room that morning.
An old record player quietly played songs that were known from our youth. The cave offered an exhilarating view of the raging sea.
"I hope it's a birthday party you like. I've got a book for you too, if you want to keep up your old tradition." I handed him a copy of Modern Potions, which contained the latest developments in the field.
"I don't even know what to say," he whispered softly and looked around in disbelief. "How did you get all this here… I…thank you!" He beamed at me.
"Gladly."
"And a cake?" he said with raised eyebrows. Of course, I knew he didn't like sweets.
"Yeah, with dark chocolate and rum in it. I kind of thought that was part of it, what do you think?"
He took me in his arms and kissed me deeply before we sat down together at his private birthday table.
