Chapter 45 Wounds (4,900)

One look at you, my whole life falls in line

I prayed for you before I called you mine

Oh, I can't believe it's true, sometimes

Oh, I can't believe it's true

I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do

I get to love you, it's a promise I'm making to you

Whatever may come, your heart I will choose

Forever I'm yours, forever I do

I get to love you, I get to love you

The way you love, it changes who I am

I am undone and I thank God once again

(…)

Whatever may come, your heart I will choose

Forever I'm yours, forever I do

I get to love you, I get to love you

I get to love you, I get to love you

They say love is a journey, I promise that I'll never leave

When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me

I get to love you by Ruelle

I loosened the bandage, which was improperly wrapped around his leg. An ugly wound opened in front of me, which had already become infected. Apparently the reason why I hadn't seen him for a few days. My breath stopped, of course I had seen many wounds before but seeing the bleeding and festering flesh of my beloved man caused an inexplicable nausea in me, a slight dizziness that I immediately tried to suppress.

"Is it that bad?" Severus asked dryly as he stared into my pale face. I shook my head.

"What happened, Severus?" I asked softly.

"I told you about the stone. One of Hagrid's creatures protects him. A mutt with three heads," he said with a groan, resting his head back on the back of the couch.

I quickly rummaged through my cupboard with the medicinal herbs and healing potions I had created. But apparently, they weren't the right ones, because I only found some against pus and bite wounds, but nothing against three-headed dog creatures bred by a crazy man.

I took what I thought was right and hurried to the couch where Severus was lying, gritting his teeth.

"How could this happen?" I asked in a bitter voice and I was worried that his leg might retain permanent damage.

"That monster with the three heads. One of them caught me. This damn troll must have let Quirrell in. I wonder why he is so eager to grab this stone. What is he up to? What's his use of it?" Severus scolded as I gently dabbed diptam essence on his wound. I didn't know what he was talking about a troll in Hogwarts. I felt his forehead, he clearly had a strong fever. I gave him a potion for such inflammation that swept the whole body. Reluctantly, he swallowed the yellow, bitter-tasting liquid.

I silently monitored his racing pulse for a few minutes, which calmed down as the potion began to take an effect. I sighed with relief, because it meant that no unknown poison flowed in his veins. I applied a bandage with two different healing potions under his watchful eyes.

"Filch isn't nearly as gifted as you," he realizes when I finished and he could think more clearly as his fever went down.

"Filch is not a healer. Why didn't you go to Madam Pomfrey? She could have done it just as well as I did. You'll probably be able to walk badly for a few days because you've waited so long," I said bitterly and looked at him insistently, he owed me this explanation, because it was about his health.

"First of all, I didn't want anyone to notice that we were hosting this monster at Hogwarts. It would be too conspicuous; someone would ask the wrong questions. Secondly, Quirrell must not know that I know about his plan, I want to stop him if he tries in the moment of surprise. Thirdly, I have the best healer at my side. Filch was able to lend a hand at first. It's just a shame that Potter saw me like that. This cheeky bastard is going to rumble with it," Severus said, looking sceptically at his bandaged leg before looking at me and trying to make a smile. Someone who didn't know him as well as I did might have thought it was a mocking grin, but I read out the pain he was trying to hide.

"Harry saw you?" I asked softly.

"Yes, he's guessing now that I want to steal the stone. He knows about it," Severus said, lifting his leg onto the couch and stretching.

"How?"

"Hagrid," Severus replied dryly, answering all the questions that followed in one name.

"Yes, that was an unwise decision to include him in the protection. He talks a lot. But why Quirrell?" I asked.

"It just happened to be a troll at the Halloween festival. Quirrell as our dark arts luminary rushed in and reported before he seemed to collapse in fear. But Dumbledore gave me a meaningful look and I ran to the room with access to the hiding place. There sat this monster that Hagrid had positioned above the entrance. It was beside itself with anger and it got me," Severus said, his face contorting in pain as if he were just going through it again. He seemed slightly absent, trapped in this situation. I grabbed his arm and squeezed him. Severus looked up at me gratefully.

"I've missed you for the last few hours," Severus said, pulling me towards him with a jerk with amazing strength.

"But your leg..." I whispered as I gently lay down against his body, even though it was exactly the closeness I longed for.

"Your affection certainly won't hurt.", he sneers and I kissed his lips, gently stroking his battered body.

He was vulnerable. And this was something I had tried to repress. Severus was as vulnerable as anyone else, and that fueled my anxiety for him even more though I had tried to deny it. The bloody bandages on the ground next to us testified to this.

"You have to be careful, Severus. Don't underestimate Quirrell! If he was in danger of being discovered, then he must have a good reason to get hold of this stone," I warned Severus.

"Wealth and immortality aren't enough reasons for you?" Severus asked, and I shook my head in response.

"And you think Harry suspects you of all this?" I asked quietly. I couldn't believe that the man I loved so much, who sacrificed so much before Harry Potter, the boy he was protecting, was in such a bad light.

"Yes. I saw it in his mind," Severus said dryly as if he didn't care, but I knew him too well. I knew it hurts him to be misjudged like that.

"Maybe you should treat him less harshly. Then he wouldn't suspect you either," I said softly and Severus grimaced, his hand on my back stopped the loving caressing.

"I'm trying. But when I see this boy, I have his arrogant father and the loss of Lily right in front of me. And his incompetence doesn't make it any better. It's just unbearable," he said in a low voice that sounded as full of hatred as I never knew.

"Severus, you should change it. Your old feelings are blinding you," I whispered in awe of his strong feelings of hatred. I knew he loathed James beyond measure, but I had hoped that this wouldn't spill over to Harry, but I was wrong. And I had the impression that it was too late for Severus to take a different path.

"For me, they're not old." He turned away from me angrily, but I clutched his face tightly as my body continued to lie against his.

"I don't want to lecture you And I can only imagine how stressful this whole situation is for you, but you know that your hatred only brings you trouble," I said, looking into his black, profound eyes. He looked at me briefly before smiling thin-lipped. Suddenly, he hugged me tightly in his arms, clutching me as if he feared that I would vanish into thin air.

"It's good that you remind me of that every now and then." He looked at me tenderly and lovingly, I literally sank into his gaze and his tight embrace.

"Are you at Hogwarts on Christmas Eve?" I asked after a while of the heartfelt embrace.

"I will come to you as soon as possible after the feast. I know you don't want to be alone," he said, taking my chin with his fingers. He smiled as he looked into my eyes. "And I don't want Lupin to keep you company in my place again."

"Oh, Severus. Do you still hold it against me that I was with Remus last year?" I asked mock serious.

"After all, we were separated for the first time since we were a love pair. All, because he didn't want to howl at the moon alone," Severus said back with a mischievous grin. His eyes sparkled and his gaze exerted a strange seduction on me that irritated me. He still managed to mess me up and drive me crazy. It was a torture for me not to see him at work anymore and sometimes I had the feeling that the nights were far from enough.

"A love pair...", I whispered softly, and we grinned at each other.

"I'm going to bring you your favorite food," he said, pulling me even tighter, his face buried in my throat, my hair falling over him, and he took deep, calm breaths. I looked at him with a happy smile. Sometimes I still couldn't believe it was true and I get to love him. it was the best thing in my life.

"You're sure you know my favorites?" I asked teasingly and he immediately pulled away from the scent of my hair to look me in the eye, his black sparkling.

"Let yourself be surprised." He curled his lips into a grin that made me melt away. I couldn't hold on to myself any longer, everything longed for his touch. I kissed him and felt the warmth of his soft lips, first gently, then passionately.

He ran his hands under my shirt, began to stroke my breasts, but I didn't allow any more, because he had to take it easy. This wound on his leg was not to be trifled with. Severus sighed resignedly as I stopped him from exploring more on my body, but he understood and so we just lay on top of each other for a long time, clutching and kissing like teenagers just discovering each other. And somehow that was also exciting with him, and I felt that I had to hold back a lot in order to maintain my resolution of his sparing.

But just before Christmas, he showed up at the little cottage again in an unhappy condition.

"This time I'm right up to you. I'd rather not risk it anymore," he said, attempting a small grin before I took a closer look at his leg. He twitched slightly as I removed the burned fabric from his skin.

"Severus, I'm starting to get worried though. It's your second injury in a few weeks. What was it this time? A dragon?" I asked, but I tried to smile and hoped that I would succeed as I rummaged through my first aid kit for diptam.

"Potter. Or rather, a friend of his," Severus squeezed out in pain. But the pain seemed mental, not physical like last time.

"It's just a slight burn, thankfully," I said with relief. "You could have easily healed it yourself."

"Maybe I'd rather feel your care and see your worried face. It helps me to know that I'm not alone," he said softly, staring humbly at the ground in front of him.

I lovingly ran my hand over his cheek, turning his face towards me before kissing him affectionately. Immediately he relaxed, his hands gripped my head, and he moved closer to me.

"But, how is it that you have now been burned? A friend of Harry's, did you say?" I asked him as we slowly pulled away from each other so I could put on a bandage.

"The Gryffindor versus Slytherin game. Potter is a seeker, that's what I told you," Severus said anguishedly, and it wasn't his injury that caused him pain.

"Yes, I remember. The youngest seeker. I guess he got that from James. Lily has never been so gifted on the broom," I stated. "But what causes your ankle to burn?"

"During the game, Potter's broom suddenly began to become uncontrolled, tried to throw it off. A case of this height... would have been fatal. He was clearly bewitched by black magic," Severus began, and I drew in my breath sharply. Who should be interested in throwing Harry Potter off his broomstick? A student was barely able to do this.

"Anyway, Granger probably set me on fire with Buebell Flames, apparently in the assumption that my counter-spell would be the curse," he said quietly and pulled me close to him. I sensed that he was hurt again by the fact that he had been chosen as the villain for no reason, not the first time in his life.

"Granger? A Muggle-born? In any case, she has a good command of the Bluebell Flames if she could use it selectively to burn you for a short time," I stated appreciatively.

"She's good at memorizing, that's correct. But she is... exhausting, an annoying know-it-all with no passion for what she has learned, like so many others. But at least Potter has a person by his side with a brain. A better choice than the Weasley boy anyway. But that doesn't explain who wants to hurt Potter."

"Quirrell? Do you think he also had something to do with the attack on Harry?" I asked, panting.

"Maybe. Only a gifted black magic wizard can jinx a Nimbus Two Thousand. I've doubted Quirrell's abilities until now. But maybe you're right and I underestimated him," he answered. "But why? He has no motive."

Severus thoughtfully ran a finger over his clenched lips as I closed his new bandage.

"You should keep an eye on Harry. In any case, I'm worried that someone with such black magic skills is after him," I said sadly. It was the first year of the boy at Hogwarts and he already had an enemy.

"Yes, exactly my thought. However, it didn't stop him from catching the Snitch and defeating Slytherin," Severus said in a bitter tone and I shook my head briefly at this change of subject.

"There are more important things than Quidditch, Severus. You know that all too well. Promise me you'll take care of yourself. Not just Harry," I said softly, running my hand gently over his injured leg.

"Yes, I'll be careful. The boy's next game is against Hufflepuff before Christmas. I'll sign up as a referee," Severus said firmly, and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"But that will bring you the wrath of all the heads of the houses. Everyone will think that you just want to make Gryffindor lose," I said with my mouth open. I knew that wouldn't bring him friendship with Minerva and Filius, even though he was in such dire need of allies.

"Do you have a better idea? As you've already noticed, Quidditch is irrelevant." He sneers.

But I didn't have a better idea and luckily Christmas was between this event.

I sighed softly and closed my burning eyes.

"What's going on? You've been looking a little tired lately. Do you still have enough of the potion against fatigue or should I brew some for you?" Severus asked worriedly, feeling my forehead while I had to grin at his concern, because I shared it, only that I was worried about him and his health.

"No, I'll take the magic potion when I need it. At work, all hell breaks loose just before Christmas. Constantly have some relatives in each other's hair and solve their problems with poisoning or curses. It's the most beautiful time of the year at St. Mungo," I explained.

"And then I'll burden you with Potter and his minions. Please forgive me," Severus said softly, suddenly with an expression in his eyes that reminded me of the schoolboy in him.

"Never beg your pardon for that, Severus! I want to know all about your work at Hogwarts. It is important that spatial separation does not lead to a separation of our thoughts and feelings. Come what may, I will always choose you, your heart. And forever I'm yours, I promise I'll never leave. And when it's all too much for you at Hogwarts, too heavy to carry, remember those moments with me, Severus," I said, running my hand over his black hair, which fell stingily into his forehead. The fatigue and physical and, above all, psychological stress led him to overwork himself and pay little attention to his appearance. But it didn't bother me because I loved him as a whole.

"I love you, Catherine.", he said in a low voice and kiss me softly. "I promise I will never forget anything of our love like our first kiss under the mistletoe or your smile, when we learn together in the library, and you get top marks. Do you remember when your essay on the forgetfulness potion was set on fire by that overblown Hufflepuff in the first year of Hogwarts? You tried to suppress your feelings, but at some point you cried because you were afraid that you would get a bad grade," Severus asked me suddenly.

I thought for a moment as I gently ran my fingers down his cheek before I remembered the guilty face of Amos Diggory, who had been practicing a flame spell in the school corridor.

"It smelled everywhere after the fire and you Slytherins laughed at me. It was a terrifying moment for me. But somehow Slughorn gave me back a corrected essay with top marks. I hadn't written all of it by myself, but it was clearly in my handwriting," I thoughtfully put the pieces of the puzzle together. I still remembered this wound, which had severely damaged my self-confidence. Laughed at and humiliated in front of half the first year.

"Your feelings were so... clearly, it was almost as if it had happened to me. I knew what you felt and it hurt me like you. And when you ran away, I took the burnt parchment leaves and tried my best to recreate the essay from the rest and gave it to Slughorn," Severus said softly, avoiding my gaze as if he still felt a punishment for his actions but he should experience something completely different. A feeling of deep gratitude flowed through me.

"Then you were my savior back then?" I kissed Severus affectionately on the forehead and stroked his cheek. "But why did you help me? We only knew each other from class," I asked in astonishment.

"Yes, from the class in potions. Your potions were always quite neat and I admired that, because after all, Mary MacDonald was your partner at the cauldron," he said softly.

"Mary was really bad at the subject from Professor Slughorn. She had managed to make the cauldron explode once," I remembered with a smile. The memory of her cheeks flushed with laughter as I quickly tried to clean up the mess.

"I guess it's a burden for the school's potions master to suffer something like that," Severus said, grinning wryly, so that there was a mixture of painful suffering and amusement in it.

I kissed him affectionately, which he immediately returned.

And we forgot everything around us, work, Hogwarts, Voldemort... everything seemed irrelevant at that moment. It was just the two of us and our love for each other, which lasted so long before we could finally live it out.

On Christmas Eve he stood in front of me surprisingly early. I jumped up from the couch where I had just been reading to pass the time until he arrived.

"As fast as I could," he explained, still out of breath. I wanted to pull him onto the couch, let him arrive in peace, but he immediately swung his wand and 2 plates filled with turkey, Brussels sprouts and dumplings appeared on the dining table. In addition, 2 glasses of red exquisite elf made wine appeared.

"Merry Christmas, Catherine," he breathed. I put down my book on highly advanced magic and embraced him. I was wearing a dress in our favorite color - emerald green. My long hair fell down to my hips. Severus' lips twitched with joy at the sight of me.

"Maybe a little appetizer?" he asked with a smug smile.

"I'd also like a big appetizer before the main course," I replied cheekily and pulled him to the bedroom upstairs. I didn't experience any resistance when I threw him laughing on the bed and me above him.

Severus pressed his forehead against mine "I've been thinking about you all day," he murmured softly, drawing in the scent of my hair.

"Well, I can't say I felt any differently," I replied, gently running my right hand over his cheek.

Severus grinned slightly at me: "Good, because I plan to do a lot more than just kiss you tonight," he said mischievously. I ran my hand further to his neck before grabbing his collar:

"How fitting," I whispered.

Severus grinned scornfully and leaned over to kiss me again, his hands wandering over my body, tracing the curves of my waist and hips.

I felt his warm hands on your skin and gasping for air, it had been a while since we had time to move on and everything in me longed for his body.

He took the opportunity to press gentle kisses down my face to my neck, causing shivers to run through my entire body in joyful anticipation of what was to come…

Afterwards we enjoyed the food that Severus had taken from the kitchen from the house elves. It tasted delicious, just like I was used to from Hogwarts. That was also something I missed. Amazingly, I also missed Minerva's chatting, the quickening of Filius and even Hagrid's booming laughter. Especially today on my first Christmas without Hogwarts in a long time. But my gaze wandered happily over the food that the man of my heart had procured for me.

"You know me really well," I say with satisfaction.

"I hope so. It's been almost four years now," he said with a grin.

"Four years of secretly meeting," I said thoughtfully, reaching for the turkey. His grin disappeared immediately and I bit my lower lip. What did I say? I knew it hurt him, even though I didn't mean it.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I..." he began, his voice sounding strangely hoarse, as if it had to carry an enormous burden.

"It doesn't have to. It's my decision, too!" I interrupted him quickly. He shouldn't feel guilty about our situation, because that was the last thing I wanted to put on him. He had enough to carry, and I meant the words as I spoke them.

But Severus looked at me thoughtfully, his black eyes glittering strangely. I kissed him to dispel his doubts about our impossible situation. It was my decision to be with him.

"I also have a small gift for you," I said softly as our lips carefully parted to distract him.

"For me? But you know that Christmas doesn't mean anything to me. It was never of any use to me," he stated, gritting his lower jaws.

"It's just a little thing, as always. This time for your collection," I said, handing him a glass. His eyes wandered over the inlaid Devil's Snare. He looked up and grinned at me.

"Very nice. Thank you!" he says, approaching me and my warm body, which was ready to receive him again.

"I have a little something for you, too," he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

"Because you know Christmas means something to me," I breathed and my eyes sparkled at him.

"I'm wondering what exactly, where you're not a Muggle," he whispered softly and fixed my face, but his gaze was full of love and gentleness.

"It's not just a celebration that the Muggles celebrate, but it's love and sacrifice, Severus. Something you should understand," I explained quietly, taking him by the hands.

"Indeed." His lips slowly approached mine, I closed my eyes in anticipation of his warmth, his soft skin that caused a tingling sensation in my body.

Suddenly, his wand vibrated and Severus' body tensed up.

"Damn it!" he shouted, dropping my hands.

"What does that mean?" I asked, irritated, looking at the whirring wand he was now holding in his hand.

"Someone is looking for me at Hogwarts. I use my wand as a signal. I have to go back to the castle immediately. I am sorry. I'll be back tomorrow."

He kissed me briefly before he disparate. Without further explanation, I stood there with my mouth open, still feeling his hands in mine.

But that was probably our new everyday life.

/A new additional chapter for today's anniversary of Severus' death - perhaps you already suspected it?

Thank you for still reading and for being with me on this journey. I hope you enjoy!/