I waited so long

For something sweet like this

It's where I belong

Beside you in blinding bliss

I'm living in a daydream

Nothing that could faze me now

I'm caught up in a daydream

Nothing that could wake me now

What more could a girl want?

What more could a girl want?

Faded, it's gone

The darkness I once knew

What could go wrong?

My heart is safe with you

- Daydream by Ruelle

But Severus was to return to me without the house cup. He was upset that Harry had managed to get the headmaster on his side despite the various rule breaks, just like James did back then. But a night of intimate cuddling together and the joy of the weeks that lay ahead of us alleviated his bad mood the very next day we went to Cokeworth together so that I had a change of scenery.

We spent the weeks of the summer holidays practicing each other's Legilimency and Occlumency. We practiced in our precious time together so that Lord Voldemort can't get anything out of Severus when he returns that he doesn't want himself. Severus, unlike me, was very gifted in both techniques. Severus' willpower was advanced enough to create a "false" mentality layer that could utterly nullify the perspective of someone using Legilimency, thinking that said layer was the legitimate one while the real counterpart was hidden deeper inside him. I was not able to access what he was trying to hide. Likewise, it would not be obvious to Voldemort that Severus would have used Occlumency, even if he had to lie. It required a great deal of willpower, like resisting the Imperius Curse, as well as a great deal of mental and emotional discipline. It was also a method of resisting Veritaserum's influence. All of this gave me courage for the time ahead. Unfortunately, I couldn't say the same about my mental and emotional discipline. While he penetrated deep into my mind during an exercise because I couldn't shut myself in long enough, he saw me crying and alone in my seventh year in the communal bathroom in Gryffindor. I cried because I knew that if we parted ways after school, I would never see Severus again. I cried because I knew his way to becoming a Death Eater. The danger we will both put ourselves in. Me fighting on one side and him on the other. In between, my great love for him, which almost made me burst. Severus immediately stopped the exercise when he realized what this memory meant to me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to, you allowed it so quickly that I... it was my fault... I shouldn't have asked you to," he stuttered, quickly taking me in his arms and looking anxiously at my tears in the present.

"No, Severus. At that time, I cried out of despair, out of unfulfilled and great love for you, out of fear of the future we would spend apart and in constant danger. Now I cry out of happiness and joy, because I love you and you hold me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, Severus. You think that's weak, but..."

"No, I see it as your strength sometimes. It's something I've never been able to do and I need to work on – for you," he said softly, gently wiping my damp cheeks dry with the handkerchief I had given him in our school days.

"No, Severus, you should do it for yourself," I replied, lovingly looking at the former gift in his hands that he had been carrying with him all these years. Severus pulled me close to him and kissed me deeply. I felt his love, even if he didn't put it into words.

But suddenly we heard a knock on his front door, it was energetic and confident.

"Hide, quick!" whispered Severus, and I ran to the kitchen, where I put a disillusionment spell on myself.

"Are you alone, Severus?" a blasé-sounding voice asked and I heard someone enter the entryway.

"Of course. Who should be here with me?" asked Severus. His voice sounded toneless and confident. I suspected that he had wrinkled his forehead to match.

"I thought I heard you talking. With a woman," Lucius Malfoy said thoughtfully.

"Ridiculous," Severus said firmly.

"Yes, maybe it is. I must indeed have misheard. No woman would certainly be here with you—"

"Lucius, what gives me the honor of your visit to my humble home?" I heard Severus interrupt him, now he sounded a little irritated.

"Well, you've been making yourself very scarce with us lately and hardly keep in touch anymore. I was worried about my old friend," Lucius said again in his snooty way.

"You know, the last school year was pretty turbulent. Quirrell has given me a lot of work," Severus replied sternly. Lucius didn't know that Voldemort was behind the attack, because Dumbledore and Severus tried to keep it a secret.

"Yes, I heard about this strange man. Draco mentioned it. He also often mentioned this Potter. Much to my chagrin, he seems to have become the headmaster's favorite." His voice sounded as bitter as Severus's when he spoke of Harry. Apparently, the old friends had a lot in common on this point.

"Well, Dumbledore has always had a soft spot for rule-breaking fools from Gryffindor, as you may remember," Severus replied, and I watched through the crack of the door as he crossed his arms, completely absorbed in the rejection he now felt.

"Yes, and this Potter is a big nuisance, it's true." Lucius rolled his cold gray eyes in annoyance. His light blond hair was strictly reclined and blended perfectly with the severity depicted on his face.

"But you certainly didn't come to me to talk about this pain in my ass, did you?" asked Severus, looking inquiringly at his old comrade.

"No, certainly not. It's more of a request to you that leads me to you," Lucius replied quietly, looking less like the snooty asshole I knew. Severus stiffened imperceptibly at these words. But only I could perceive it, because I knew him well by now.

"So? What could I help you with, Lucius?" Severus tried to sound unfazed and release his body from the tension.

"A matter I don't want to discuss here between door and hinge, my friend," Lucius replied, leaning his walking stick against the wall to enter Severus' living quarters. He looked around briefly and wrinkled his nose in disgust, but Severus was behind him and couldn't see his grimace.

"Then please, feel free to sit down. Would you like a drink?" Severus asked, while Lucius sat down stiffly on the old sofa, where I now had a good view of him.

"If you had any more of this delicious Elf-made wine," Lucius said, running his tongue briefly over his lips.

"Of course," Severus said and joined me in the kitchen. He looked around quickly and was surprised not to recognize me. I smiled, because I had learned my Disillusionment Charm directly from Mad-Eye Moody in the days of the Order of the Phoenix. It was almost as good as an invisibility cloak.

I moved briefly so that Severus could make out my point of view. He nodded concisely with a smile to show that he had understood. Then he quickly grabbed two wine glasses and reached into the kitchen shelf, where there were some dusty bottles of wine that Severus had received as a gift from Dumbledore in recent years. He grinned at me again a little before his face petrified again and he entered the living room, where his friend was waiting for him tensely.

Severus sat down in the worn-out armchair opposite and poured the eleven-made wine and watched Lucius empty the glass in one gulp. I knew he was amused at the thought of Lucius drinking the drop of his nemesis.

"You know that this Weasley imbecile is currently doing a lot of mischief in the Ministry with this Muggle Protection Act. Disgusting this blood traitor, isn't he?" Lucius began, watching as Severus refilled his glass without batting an eyelid.

"And why should it cause problems for someone like you? You have an extraordinary reputation in the Ministry," Severus asked, bringing his glass to his mouth as well.

"Yes, that's right. However, a house search will probably be unavoidable, as Fudge told me. I asked him to reconsider this extremely humiliating matter, but he said his hands were tied, as there seems to be a great interest in harassing pure-blood wizarding families at the moment," Lucius said, waving his hand theatrically.

"But how can I help you now?" Severus asked, frowning. He held his glass in his hand and slowly ran a finger over the opening as if to make a sound.

"Well, I have some possessions from days gone by that I'd like to get rid of for a period of time and I thought you'd leave your... You wouldn't use it anyway during your school days and it was therefore possible to store some of it here," Lucius burst out. And I guessed what these objects might be. It seemed as if he was trapped in a spider's web, which had settled over his family all these decades. The Malfoy family has been fond of the black magic arts for generations, and there will probably have been a lot of now forbidden items in Malfoy Manor.

"What would that be?" asked Severus in a calm voice, swinging his wine glass in his right hand with pleasure.

"Well, items that are very valuable to me and I don't want to sell at a lower price than they are actually worth. They are too big for my chamber under the saloon. I'll offer the rest of the junk at Borgin and Burkes in the next few days. But there are certain pieces that are priceless."

I realized how Severus was thinking at breakneck speed, although it might seem to Lucius that Severus was sitting completely relaxed in his chair.

"What kind of friend would I be if I denied you this wish? But only for the time of the house search and only if you can guarantee that no one will find out," Severus replied, watching as the tension on his face suddenly released from his interlocutor.

"Certainly, my friend. I knew you could be relied upon. Narcissa knew right away that you are a wizard of great value, with great integrity," Lucius replied in his usual voice, his lips pursed into a little whistle.

"Thank you for your trust. How is Narcissa doing?" Severus asked, taking another sip from his glass.

"Oh, the usual whining of women. Sometimes I understand why none is good enough for you. They just don't appreciate what they have and complain about little things like a lousy affair." He shook his head, while Severus briefly tensed the muscles of his hands as if to punch him in the face.

"Not all women are what you think, Lucius. You don't want to hurt Narcissa . She is a strong and clever woman and the mother of your son. What could an affair offer you but quick pleasure?" Severus asked in a serious voice, clutching his glass tightly.

"Just the quick pleasure? I can see that you don't know what you're saying, Snape! Good boy, don't you think it's time for you to choose one? I've never seen you accompanied. Avery has already wondered if you are interested in the female sex at all," Lucius said disparagingly and emptied his glass.

"Why? Is he interested because Mulciber has been in Azkaban for so long?" Severus asked pointedly, so that I couldn't help but smile.

"Well, we don't want to insinuate anything, do we? Even if it's almost obvious. I said, you need a special woman. One that captures you not only with her looks, but also with her head. Pure-blood, of course. And unfortunately you only find one or the other among the women, right?" Lucius said apparently casually and shoved his empty glass to Severus so that he could fill it again. But Severus was apparently not eager to deepen this conversation.

"As much as I appreciate chatting with you, Lucius. It's late, and I still have to go through the curricula for the new school year," Severus said, rising to show Lucius the door.

"Oh, the new school year is sure to be exciting, Severus. I have a hunch," Lucius said meaningfully, and with a gallant movement he grasped his black walking stick with silver decorations.

"The excitement last year was enough for me, if it's up to me," Severus said loudly and opened the front door.

Lucius glanced in the mirror next to the door with a vain grin and said before saying goodbye.

Severus went to the window and pushed the old curtain aside to see if Lucius disappeared before beckoning me over.

"What could he have meant by that, Severus?" I asked softly and stepped over to him.

"Something that's going to cause us trouble, I'm afraid," Severus said, running his finger over his pressed lips, lost in thought. "In any case, we should be prepared for anything. Something that is deeply repugnant to me."

"After all, we know that the memory spell worked for Avery in New Zealand," I said, grabbing his cold hand. Slowly, he turned to me, his forehead set in worry lines.

"I didn't doubt that with your skills. Although I couldn't figure out what exactly he was looking for there. He was in this remote old wizarding place for a reason."

"Do you think he was looking for the Dark Lord or clues as to his whereabouts?" I asked skeptically.

"Maybe. If it was, we can be glad that it was not he who found him in the woods, but Quirrell. Avery would not have made such serious mistakes to secure the Philosopher's Stone for the Dark Lord," Severus replied in his deep and full-bodied voice.

"But more importantly, you'll have to leave Cokeworth for the rest of the holidays," Severus said in a low voice, his eyes taking on a strange expression.

"Why, Severus?" I asked incredulously, tension forming on my face.

"Lucius can show up here at any time with his black magic junk. A disillusionment spell won't be enough, no matter how good you are at it. By the way, I am impressed with your ability. That will still be useful in future, I think," he said in a low voice. I collapsed into myself, hoping we would have the next week together before he would disappear behind the thick walls of Hogwarts again.

When he saw what his words triggered in me, he took me tightly in his arms and I drew his scent deep into me. Away from Hogwarts, he didn't smell of the bitter potion ingredients or old leather books, but of himself, a familiar smell that immediately triggered relaxation in me.

"I guess we have a day or two left before he shows up here. Or Narcissa," he whispered softly in my ear, running a hand lovingly through my long hair, which I wore open.

"Why Narcissa?" I asked. What should she look for in Severus? I still remembered her from my school days. She, like Lucius, was five years above us. She also preferred to wear her shiny silver hair long, but stylishly styled. I swallowed and looked into the dark eyes of Severus, which now flashed.

"Are you a little jealous?" he asked with a sneer.

"I still remember Narcissa, how she had denied a Muggle-born girl a book in the library, even though we all needed it for an essay at Slughorn. Just to make her look ridiculous in front of all the Slytherins," I said, shuddering at the cold expression on her face and the blasé smile on her lips.

"Yes, that suits her. But she has grown up a little in the meantime and let's say, matured. She realized what it means to be Mrs. Malfoy. And I was often her contact person when Lucius beat over the severity," he explained, now gently stroking my hair.

"But why you?" I asked, looking at him in amazement. "Why would someone like Narcissa need your help with Lucius?"

"If the two of them have relationship problems, I'm someone who holds up a mirror to Lucius without fear of his power or outbursts of anger. And I've known him for years. I know that his blasé nature is often just the façade of a more unruly man who was burdened with a great burden by his father as heir to a large house. He always had to function, and he was never interested in getting older and more mature. He has therefore remained a bit of the spoiled boy who was served everything on a silver platter. It was only under the Dark Lord that he got to know reality. What it means to kill someone for his beliefs. At that time, we were assigned as partners under the Dark Lord. I was the spy, and he was the eye and ear at the ministry. The Dark Lord has benefited a lot from our work. And it kept us from having to actively enter the fights," Severus replied with a gloomy look.

"Have you seen many people die, Severus?" I asked, holding my breath.

"Yes. I did. Under torture, under curses. Broken to provide information to the Dark Lord. They were cases that I could not prevent. Even though I'm wondering now if I couldn't have done more," he said quietly, his voice sounding throaty, and a solidification formed in me.

A solidification that had formed at the thought of what separated the two of us. I was on the side that Severus once fought against. He had seen people die for whom my friends sacrificed their lives. Maybe he had even seen one of them suffer, maybe Marlene, maybe Dorcas. I had never asked him about it, because it was something I pushed aside when I thought of him. Of course, I knew that he served under Voldemort and also that he was certainly involved in some evil deeds. But when he assured me that he himself had not killed anyone, it was enough for me to believe in the good side of him. Now knowing that he saw innocent people dying made me aware of the absurd situation we were in at that time.

Severus frowned at my gaze, which had taken on a strange expression before he spoke.

"Did you think I'd never been there?" he asked dryly.

"No, I honestly never thought about it. Maybe I just didn't want to," I replied quietly, my voice sounding strangely strange to me and apparently to Severus as well, because he sank under my words.

"Yes, it's something that will never let me go. This enormous guilt that culminated in Lily's death. It stands for everything I've done," he said, raising his wand. I left him for a moment, which only added a sad smile to his lips.

"Your guilt weighs heavily on you, Severus," I said with a dry throat and approached the man in front of me.

"It will probably be like this forever," he said quietly. "And I'm afraid that I'm putting this guilt on you as well, even though I don't want to. Nothing should complicate your shoulders. Because I took this blame on myself because I just wasn't doing the right thing. Or too little."

"You're doing everything against the Dark Lord now, Severus," I said in a firm voice, looking into his pale face. Severus' lips curled in a display of gentleness that came from him only when we were both alone.

"Thank you for the trust you have placed in me," Severus said, leaning towards me to gently touch my lips with his, which released me from my torpor. I looked at his face with a fixed gaze.

"Be strong, Severus. We will keep it up. Even though the Dark Lord has now returned. I don't care about any risk, as long as that means continuing to kiss you. Forever."

A surprised smile spread across Severus' face and he stepped closer to me, creating an exciting tension between us.

"We should show your old friend Lucius how much a woman can love you, right?" I said, my eyes sparkling.

"I'm afraid you're crazy, Catherine," he said softly, his hand wandering over my back to open my zipper as I placed my lips on his. Feverishly, his hands slid lower, removing the dark red fabric on my skin, giving me goosebumps in a cool breeze, just like the prospect of the next.

I quickly sniffed over his white shirt to undo the buttons, while he was already running his hands over my bare chest.

His touches made my movements even more erratic, so that with a smile he undid the buttons himself before he got to work on his pants. He let his gaze glide slowly and enjoyably over my naked body.

Then he let me fall on the couch where Lucius had just sat and had been getting angry about Severus' sex life. If he knew...

I pulled Severus towards me, felt his warm skin on mine. He kissed my neck, wandering over my exposed chest as I traced his muscles with my hands on his torso. We were intoxicated by each other, the soft skin, the smell we gave off to each other.

I was so ready to receive him, so needy, that I began to moan under his kisses. I bent my back back and closed my eyes to feel it... to feel him glide through my exposed skin, his lips, tongue or hands. He dug his fingers deep into my body, feeling the texture of my soft skin. I felt like he was all over my body, just on every part of me.

I could barely breathe with desire.

I felt alight touch glide over the delicate skin between my legs.

I was so swollen and hypersensitive that I felt like I was on fire and could die.

I gasped as he inserted a finger into my core, felt his heavy breathing, which went faster with excitement on my neck. His thumb pressed lightly on my clitoris, he began to draw circles. Teasing.

I felt tense to bursting as a second finger slid into me, exploring the moisture of my inner walls. His wet mouth traveled along my neck to my chest and played around my nipple-

I trembled.

"Severus... oh fuck.. God." I whined from my open lips.

"That's what I like to hear... fuck God is now my second name of yours..." I opened my eyes just in time to see his mischievous grin on his lips. It drove me even crazier. Mader after him.

"I'm yours, Severus," I whispered, looking into his bottomless sparkling eyes.

"Yes, you are," he said, almost as confident as his old friend.

I pressed myself against him, wanting to feel his skin completely on mine.

But it didn't seem possible to be close enough to him. I pressed into his chest and wished I could sink into him.

I spread my legs and bent my head slightly back and Severus understood.

He moved between my thighs as we looked deep into each other's eyes. It was so reassuring and at the same time arousing to stare at him. Its smell, its weight, its strength... We were made for each other. As if I was made perfectly for him.

Severus stared at me, predatory and possessive, his gaze aroused my innermost being.

He slid his hand down my stomach, gently stroking my hip before sliding along my thigh.

His gaze was fixed on my body as if it were sucking me up.

"I will never let anyone hurt you." he said, his voice deep and unyielding, as if it was gripping something inside me. She could feel the heat inside her turn white. As he spoke, he began to stroke between my legs and let his fingers slide through the slippery liquid pouring out of me until the heat in my abdomen became almost excruciatingly sharp.

And finally... Finally, he moved in, and I felt my body adapt to his. Severus pushed further in. Deeper. And deeper. And deeper.

I formed around him until there was no more space, but he still slid deeper into me, moaning at the feeling of tension.

As Severus continued to push hard, he bent over me until his chest pressed against my torso. He took me in his arms and kissed me deeply.

"You're so perfect," he said, groaning. "You have no idea how much I desire you-"

"Severus..." I gasped back under his rhythmic thrusts that fired my walls. "That – that's so good"

It pulsed inside me. The sensation of hot liquid bathing my insides and suddenly all the drifting, uplifting, burning sensations contracted in me and it broke through me.

Waves of pleasure rushed through me, my body bulged and trembled, and when I closed my eyes, everything, was dazzlingly white. There was no way to describe it. Just a sensation that goes beyond anything my body could grasp.

I didn't know where I was ending, and Severus began to wonder if we were merging.

Severus slumped on my body moaning and kissed me as he cradled my head in his hands, we both gasped and tried to recover together, smiling at each other.

Then he rolled over on his back, carrying me with him so that my head nestled under his jaw, where I could easily smell him, and he could bury his nose in my hair.

We lay there for a few minutes while we felt our heart rate slow down, even though he was still deeply trapped in mi.

And when we had to separate, it hurt us equally.

"I have something else for your office, Severus," I said at our goodbye and pressed a few large glass jars into his hand. They were filled with plant parts from the small garden in front of the cottage, pickled in magic potions of different colors. Severus looked at the jars with a small smile on his lips.

"Thank you. Somehow, the sight of them calms me down. I can look at them and think about how you made them for me," he said in a soft voice and kissed me goodbye before I returning to the little cottage by the sea, where a message awaited me.

/I don't know how much you can remember, but in the books Lucius Malfoy tries hard to get rid of his black magic stuff so that he won't be noticed in a possible house search. I figured why not involve his old friend Severus in this? And that would also explain why nothing could be found on Lucius in the second search either.

And I hope you enjoyed the chapter./