I hear the sound, echoes beneath
Angels and skylines meet
And I'm straining to reach
The light on the surface
Light on the other side

I feel the pages turning
I see the candle burning down
Before my eyes, before my wild eyes
I feel you holding me
Tighter, I cannot see
When will we finally breathe?
- Breathe by Fleurie

Uncertain and with a racing heart, I knocked on the door in this Muggle-typical residential area. This place was characterized by several streets with identical-looking terraced houses made of brick and the nearby dirty river, the banks of which were polluted with garbage. In the middle of this desolate-looking city was a closed mine with a high chimney. And all this that sounded so horrible was a place where I had found much joy, because in one of the many identical streets there was a house at the very end, where I had spent some of the happiest hours, in the arms of the man I loved.

The man, who had not contacted me for a few days after our quarrel, wrote me a long letter apologizing and asking me to come to him if I would be willing to forgive him for his narrow-mindedness. A narrow-mindedness that had led him to reveal Remus' constitution in front of the Slytherins in order to get rid of him. It hurt me that my best friend was now destitute again, but his salary of one year allowed him to survive the next few months after he was accommodated in my apartment again.

But I knew that Severus had taken a toll, if not completely destroyed, the whole of the last school year, and especially its outcome. But at first I didn't want to press him, I wanted to give him time and was glad that he turned to me of his own accord with a request for forgiveness. He knew he had gone too far.

My knocking echoed in the seemingly empty streets. But in the house I heard movement. I saw how the curtain from the living room moved slightly and exhaled with relief.

Quietly, a crack opened the door and a man with a very pale face and stringy shoulder-length black hair stuck out his distinctive nose.

He immediately pulled me into his old house, embraced me intimately, and breathed an apology on my lips, turning them into a big grin. I was relieved that he didn't reproach me for my secrecy about Sirius and Remus and had some insight into his exaggeration.

I felt his hands brushing over my hair and back.

"This time it's Alastor Moody who gets the job," Severus noted. I pulled away from his embrace and looked at him in astonishment.

"Alastor? Why is he coming out of retirement? He certainly doesn't do that without reason!" I said, confused, wondering what could have prompted the former Auror to teach a horde of children.

"I can guess the reason behind it. The Triwizard Tournament will take place at Hogwarts this year. For the first time since 1772," Severus explained, almost looking a little too annoyed.

"The Triwizard Tournament," I weighed in my mouth. "Dumbledore thinks it's a good idea to hold this at Hogwarts under the circumstances?"

"Well, the Dark Lord has retired for now. Maybe we'll be lucky and he won't be able to grow stronger," Severus said in a strange voice, as if he wanted to believe these words himself.

"I don't know, Severus. I have a strange gut feeling when I think of him. Unfortunately, I can't describe it any better," I replied and looked into the almost black eyes, which were now looking at me thoughtfully.

"It's like a storm is brewing and you're standing in the middle of a wide field, unable to escape, you can only watch the disaster move over you," Severus said in a dark voice. I was irritated by this comparison, which was so incredibly accurate. So, he felt it too.

"Yes," I replied, swallowing my fear of what was coming. I didn't want to feel it, not yet. Not if it may hopefully be far in the future.

We looked at each other in silence for a moment before Severus took me by the hand and led me into the living area, where we sat down in front of the fireplace.

"So, the Triwizard Tournament is coming up this school year, do you think Harry will want to participate?" I asked, shocked that I thought he could do this stupidity at his age . He would no doubt play with the idea, although he hardly knew any useful spells for dicey situations. And by the last year of school at the latest, he had proven that he was mercilessly overestimating himself when he wanted to take on an apparent mass murderer. Therefore, the mocking grin of Severus clearly irritated me.

"Yes, I even know. But he doesn't stand a chance. For security reasons, there is now an age limit. Only witches and wizards of legal age are allowed to participate. It will greatly annoy him not to be the hero of Hogwarts and must leave this title to someone else.", he sneers, and I exhaled calmly.

"Very good. I'm curious to see who the champion of Hogwarts will be," I said to Severus, who leaned back and thought for a moment.

"There are a few options. Of course, I'd be happy if it became a Slytherin," Severus said, lost in thought.

"Can you imagine what it would be like if all the students put aside their prejudices and cheered on a Slytherin? It would be a real opportunity," I said, looking into Severus' eyes, glowing at the thought.

"As long as it's not a Gryffindor, I'm fine," Severus said, nodding. "I bet with Minerva."

"Excuse me? That's something completely new from you. Explain!" I said, dumbfounded, and saw him smile smugly.

"If the Hogwarts champion becomes one of her house, then I owe her hand-blown crystal whiskey glasses with matching carafes. You know she has a decadent taste when she goes for it," he explained, while I hung on his lips, which actually seemed joyfully excited.

"And if it's going to be a Slytherin?"; I asked, eager to know what his wish was.

"Then I'll set all the detentions for the Gryffindor students for the entire school year." Severus grinned as if this deal was too good to be lost on his side.

I nodded, of course Severus never wanted anything material, because that was something he had never been interested in. It was influence and power that he had been striving for since he was a student and that had put him in the hands of Voldemort. He could easily have had material goods with his talent, because his career with his extraordinary talents would certainly have been unprecedented. But prestige and power were things that only came with birth in this world, and this was something Severus felt was his flaw. The son of a poor, insignificant and violent Muggle who was someone without a right to exist in his eyes. So I looked at him in front of me and wondered if he had really changed. Whether he was purified from this senseless pursuit, which did not matter in this life, which was unimportant. But I suppressed these thoughts, trusting that his words of repentance, which he so often spoke, were the truth he knew deep down.

"And which schools are taking part this year? The Ilvermorny School?", I wanted to know curiously after a few moments.

"Beauxbaton and Durmstrang," Severus replied, and at the last school his skin took on a lighter color than it already had.

"Durmstrang? Isn't there a former Death Eater headmaster by now?" I asked, because I had once read it in The Daily Prophet.

"You are well informed. Igor Karkaroff. He betrayed Death Eaters during the negotiations. One of them was me. His head will fall when the Dark Lord returns. No one will be able to save him. That much is certain," Severus replied with a gloomy look. I closed my eyes briefly. A new victim when evil awakens.

"And you think that´s why Alastor is coming to Hogwarts?" I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.

"I suspect that and the fact that he owed Dumbledore another favor. After all, I was the only applicant for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and you know Dumbledore's refusal to consider me," Severus said, and now his expression darkened considerably.

I avoided sharing my concerns with him. The example of Remus had again shown that this position was not suitable for staying longer at Hogwarts. Something that apparently had not escaped Dumbledore's notice.

"Well, Alastor is clearly a very good choice, considering his experience. I know him from the Order, he really is an extraordinary Auror. The only thing I couldn't save was his nose, like so many things," I replied to Severus.

"So, you're responsible for his appearance?" Severus asked with a wry grin on his lips. "Then I'd better be careful?"

"Well, I cared for the wounded in the Order because it was not safe for them at St. Mungo. But Moody got too much, often I wasn't with him in time," I explain and felt a certain disappointment in myself, but it passed Severus by, as he was obviously thinking about Moody with a furrowed brow.

"I, too, have already made his acquaintance - but in a different way. He wanted me... to Azkaban," Severus said and a shadow fell over him, so that the whole room around us literally darkened.

"Severus, that's only logical, because-" I began, but Severus stopped my words at gunpoint.

"Obviously, it is," he interjected bitterly, lowering his gaze in disgust at his own past as a Death Eater. I bit my lower lip and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe it's a colleague you can treat with respect?" I asked encouragingly, so that Severus now looked up. His eyes looked cloudy and I saw clear dark circles on his face.

"I'll do my best. But it will be better to stay out of his way," he stated thoughtfully, raising his hand to place my cheek in it before kissing me gently and we began to enjoy the holidays together before the start of Harry Potter's next school year. Even though that meant that we often stayed at this house, because even though this was a Muggle area, we didn't know if someone like Lucius Malfoy, with whom Severus still had some kind of friendship, could get lost here. We enjoyed meals together, read books to each other while we cuddled or tried our hand at new potion recipes together, which Severus wrote down in a small book where many of his ideas were put in writing. And, of course, we knew our own ways of passing the time very pleasantly.

However, we also spent a few days in the small cottage by the sea, enjoying the floods of cool sea water on our skin, the walks on the beach and watching the sunset together at a picnic. Everything could have been so wonderful, but just the fact that we knew that our togetherness only lasted a few weeks clouded the mood of both of us in some moments.

But it didn't surprise me that the weeks went by and it was already mid-August when the morning sun woke up. But neither of us felt like getting up so fast, so we snuggled up in bed.

"By the way, the gamekeeper started a new breed this summer. He couldn't torture his students any better. It's going to put Potter's love for him to the test," he said, seemingly casually. Severus had already been briefly at Hogwarts last night to discuss the tasks of the Triwizard Tournament with the other teachers and Dumbledore.

"So, what did Hagrid come up with?" I asked, actually curious about what it could be of the many favorite creatures.

"A cross between a manticore and a fire crab. He calls the whole thing Blast-Ended Skrewt. A little illegal, if you ask me," Severus said. I couldn't help but grin as he raised his eyebrows.

"I'll never understand Dumboldore's humor," Severus said, shaking his head.

"Who can do that?" I asked, still grinning at the thought of what Hagrid had come up with again with his penchant for strange creatures of all kinds.

"Well, at least we're not students anymore," he told us, gently brushing a strand of hair behind my ear to get a better look into my eyes. Under his touch, my skin tingled a little, still not used to really feeling him.

"I'm sorry though," I whispered, watching him pause at this sentence.

"Why?"

"Well, we would have so many opportunities for secret meetings at Hogwarts. The bathroom for prefects, for example," I said softly, seeing his cheeks turn slightly pink.

"I've already thought about the library." His voice was throaty and deep, so that goosebumps spread over me with excitement.

"We had that a few years ago when I was a teacher," I said, slightly irritated, and when I thought back to it, I blushed as well.

"But not yet in the Restricted Section."

We grinned at each other and Severus opened my blouse. He was now extremely skilled at removing my clothes as quickly as possible without a magic wand.

I surrendered to his kisses that touched my whole body and made my skin glow...

"I'm wondering if Potter might benefit from antidotes against the Dark Lord. What do you think?" he asked softly as he brushed the rummaged hair out of my contented-looking face.

"Yes, it's certainly useful if he can fight back. You showed them various potent poisons last school year. So, it makes sense to teach him antidotes," I agreed with him and began to run a finger on his upper body along the few moles that appeared on his light skin.

"I don't think any of that sticks with him. Maybe I should poison him so that he understands the benefits. He's not as gifted as his..." Severus broke off in the middle of the sentence, his lips pressed tightly together as if he couldn't get the word over his lips.

"Like his mother? How could he? Lily, like you, was just very talented. Do you remember how she turned the petal into a fish for Professor Slughorn?" I asked with a smile, pausing in my touches and remembering the fifth grade when we had already broken with Severus.

"Yes, he was thrilled," Severus replied.

"She was truly extraordinary," I said without envy, because she was multi-talented and, last but not least, her kindness and gentleness were so strong. I immediately realized how much I missed her. I sighed softly.

"So are you," Severus said very quietly. His cheeks blushed slightly as I looked at him piercingly with raised eyebrows.

"I'm serious. You're underestimating yourself. You shouldn't do that," he said seriously and returned my gaze.

I bit my lip painfully, because I never considered myself talented. While Severus and Lily literally flew their skills and knowledge, I had to learn a lot. But I've always been ambitious, because I wanted to be a very good witch. It was necessary in a world so different from what I knew in childhood. Severus lovingly stroked my now flushed lip with a finger of his left hand.

"Always so insecure, Catherine."

"I know," I replied quietly. Severus smiled slightly and now gently pulled my chin towards him. When I opened my lips for a kiss, tilted my head to the sides, Severus' hand jerked back abruptly from my face.

His eyes widened in shock, and he started on his left forearm in horror. It was an expression that I will never forget, it was a mixture of extreme fear, great suffering and deep disgust.

"What happened, Severus?" I asked, startled. But instead of answering, he jumped out of bed and quickly walked to the window to examine his arm in the daylight.

When I understood what was going on, I felt nauseous for a moment and inhaled the air heavily, which suddenly stopped me while Severus closed his eyes briefly, pressing his jaws and lips together noticeably.

I stood up, staggering, threw on a morning cloak and walked towards him. I took his left arm in my hand and gently ran my hand over the fine lines of the Dark Mark. Until now, it had been barely visible. You had to know that it was hiding on his arm to recognize it. But now I could see the skull, from whose mouth a snake wriggled, in the bright daylight better than before. Severus stared at me wordlessly as I studied his forearm.

"You felt it?" I asked him in a shaky voice.

"I had the feeling that it had burned for a short time, it was as if it had suddenly been supplied with blood again after it had dried up for a long time. And it's gotten darker, hasn't it?" he asked, his voice sounding wooden.

I nodded as my finger ran over the fine lines until he snatched his arm from me, grabbed a shirt, and quickly dressed to cover the skull on his arm.

"That means... he's returning," I said after he was dressed, because there was no need for an answer to that.

"The Dark Lord seems to be regaining his strength, yes," Severus confirmed quietly, avoiding my gaze by examining the wall on the side. "Does it scare you? Now that the danger is approaching?"

"Severus, you should know better," I said and stepped even closer to him, running my arms around his body, which suddenly seemed eerily fragile to me. I felt him pressing against me. But things had changed a little now, because the tide had turned, as if the last pages of a book were opening up, which had to be read in order to know the end of the story. I felt Severus wrap his pressure tighter around me, I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see it coming. Slowly, we both slid to the ground, clutching each other.

We both knew what that meant. And something should have arisen in me, some feeling, certainly fear, terror when I thought of what was about to be heralded, but I felt nothing. Just an indescribable emptiness inside me that spread me and wrapped itself around my heart like a noose.

Of course, it didn't help in the least that we read in the Daily Prophet that morning that the Dark Mark appeared at the Quidditch National Championship the night before, while a Muggle family was being tormented. It had been seen again for the first time in thirteen years.

"Do you think the other former Death Eaters felt their Dark Mark as well?" I asked as I recovered my horror and put the newspaper down.

"I don't know. But it will now have become more visible to everyone. And that's just the beginning. Eventually, when he feels strong enough, the Dark Lord will call us all to him. And I'm sure more than half will follow his call," he said slowly, stroking his black hair.

"What happens to those who don't return to him?" I asked quietly.

"They will die if the Dark Lord finds them. And sooner or later he will." His voice sounded serious and yet as if it were a matter of course. But presumably it was the risk you took when you became a Death Eater. I swallowed.

"Did you know the risk back then? That it is no longer possible to get out?" I asked Severus, who immediately averted his gaze from me.

"Yes. I knew it. It was made clear to us," he replied as he waved his cup of black tea to examine the liquid.

"And yet you went this way," I asked quietly in the room, because it frightened me that he had given himself so willingly and definitively.

"Obviously," he said in a hollow voice, looking at me again with narrowed eyes.

"It just amazes me sometimes. That's all, Severus," I said to the man, shaking my head, because despite the mistakes in his past, I loved and did not judge. No more.

"And you wonder how this could have happened?" Severus replied, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"No. You told me about your feelings and thoughts, about your friends, who had all joined the Dark Lord. From Malfoy, who had been with you since your first year. Your hopelessness at the thought of not being able to participate in such a power. The dark arts, your passion. But have you ever wondered what will happen to people like Lily and me?"

"I denied it, I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to be part of it and win. You know, it was her sacrifice that finally opened my eyes. It still weighs too heavily," Severus explained, and I saw his eyes glittering with moisture.

And before I could answer him, we both suddenly heard a loud bang on the front door in the last house of Spinner's End.