/Sexual Content in Italics, please skip, if you do not like it/
Who's in the shadows?
Who's ready to play?
Are we the hunters?
Or are we the prey?
There's no surrender
And there's no escape
Are we the hunters?
Or are we the prey?
This is a wild game of survival
- Game of Survival by Ruelle
At St. Mungo, I met Askelpios Sharp in the staff room, who was sitting comfortably with his tea and skimming over the Daily Prophet. His hair fell over his forehead as his eyes darted across the lines in front of him, seemingly in search of the truth, which in those days, however, did not seem to be found in this paper. Shaking his head, he put the newspaper aside after a few moments, when he noticed me remaining on the doorstep. I took off my lime green robe and sat down silently next to him. Meaningfully, he also poured me a cup of tea and pushed it to me. It had almost become a kind of ritual, a familiar get-together between all the hustle and bustle that this place usually offered us. A little calm before the storm.
"Thank you, Asklepios," I said, bringing the lemon tea to my mouth.
"You're welcome. The way you got this climbing plant from Mr. Chaught earlier was delicious to look at," he said with a smile and his eyes fixed on my features.
"It's a pity he didn't come up with the solution with the Stinging Hex himself, it would have saved him a lot of trouble," I said and let the warm liquid wander down my dry throat again. I knew that Dumbledore had asked me to bring Sharp into the Order. But I wondered what I could lure him with. And at the same time, I asked inside myself if I should do it at all.
"I'm afraid a lot of people don't have such a fire spell under control. You're probably overestimating the magic skills of some patients," Asklepios said amusedly and leaned back in the chair of the staff room as if he could sink deeper into a conversation with me and get a little relaxation.
"Quite possibly," I replied thoughtfully, while Sharp continued to scrutinize me. It was no longer uncomfortable for me, for I felt that he was as caring to me as he could. It was more of a kind of worry that haunted him when he tried to explore my thoughts.
"What's wrong with you? You seem somehow... tense," said Asclepius after a few moments, leaning forward again in his chair to look me straight in the eye. I thought it was the right moment to gently ask him about membership in the Order. We were alone and I knew our break would give us a few more minutes. I cleared my throat because I felt myself uncomfortable. Something inside me wanted to hold back this question, to protect him from reality, from a cruel war and the fact that he was no more than an insignificant figure in it. But I plucked up the courage required of a member of the Order of the Phoenix.
"I don't know if you've heard what happened at Hogwarts, Asklepios. But-"
"If you mean the death of the young Diggory and what Harry Potter gave as the real cause of death, then you don't have to make an effort to put me in the right picture about it," he said seriously, wrinkling his forehead meaningfully. I was only briefly astonished at where he got his knowledge from, which the newspaper tried to conceal from him by all means. But I knew he had many acquaintances who were scattered far and wide across Europe and overseas. He was a man who liked to stay informed, so that he could certainly follow the real events here effortlessly.
"Well, that makes it easier for me to ask you what you think about it," I began, a little uncertain. After all, how do you ask a loved one to put his own life on the line?
"I've always wondered how a baby could completely destroy such a great dark magic wizard," he replied vaguely, pushing the ball of this conversation back to me.
"Does that mean you trust Harry?" I asked softly, staring into his dark brown eyes, which now narrowed to gauge me further.
"I suspect that Dumbledore is doing that and that's why he started the old association that you secretly joined many years ago, right?" he asked seriously, but a slight grin played around his lips.
"Yes. And I want to ask you if you're interested in it too?"
He looked at me in silence for a while before speaking again.
"Is it important to you personally that I join?" he asked me, looking at me closely, his forehead wrinkled. I rummaged in my head for an answer and the one I found seemed unsatisfactory, but it was the truth and it had to be shared. He himself came from a family that would never attack Voldemort. The price of making such enemies would be too high. Asklepios would therefore be one of the few who would not be in danger if Voldemort were to prevail.
"I would understand if you refuse. It is not without sacrifice to be a member of the Order and I am grateful for every friend who remains alive," I replied and saw his eyes suddenly sparkle at me.
"Then let me tell you as a friend that my place in this war will be here. Here is the real fight for life and death when the injured are brought in. And if you're missing, who else is going to take care of the many innocents?" he said, his hand pointing to the walls that surrounded us.
"I see. But I'll try to be here if it happens," I replied, nodding. He was right, as a genius healer, he was nowhere better to use than at St. Mungo's to save the innocent, a voice hissed in my head. Wasn't it also my job to be here? Just like in the last war? Shouldn't braver witches and wizards stand up to Voldemort? No, I was now one of those I used to admire. This time, I would also put my life on the line to oppose this seemingly overpowering enemy, who at that time was at least temporarily struck down by an innocent life.
"You won't be able to stand this. But I'm sure you're the best healer Dumbledore could get for his members. You will succeed on your own," Asclepius replied, taking my hand in his. "And if you ever need help, no matter what kind, I'm here." He now squeezed my hand tightly in the friendship that had developed between us in the meantime. I nodded gratefully, for I rejoiced in the voice that considered every friendship a gift that I was capable of after all the losses.
I carelessly got rid of my robe over the troll's leg, which I still stumbled against from time to time before stepping into the living room. This time there sat a young witch with bushy hair, immersed in a schoolbook. When she looked up, her eyes narrowed to classify my face, which was unfamiliar to her.
"Um, excuse me, I didn't know there was a meeting today," she said in a shrill voice, frantically trying to pick up her things after the brief moments of scrutiny.
"No problem, I'm too early anyway. Who are you? You're clearly not one of the Weasleys," I replied, smiling, and stepped closer to the young girl.
"Right. I'm Hermione Granger. The Weasleys are always kind enough to host me before school starts. And this year, well, the circumstances... you must be someone from the Order, right?" she asked uncertainly, holding out her slender hand to greet me.
"That's right. I'm Catherine and the healer of the Order when things get serious," I said, returning her gesture and concealing the closer connection to Remus and Sirius, because she could undoubtedly have made a connection to Lily and James.
"Oh, a healer. Do you work at St. Mungo?" she asked with widened brown eyes, looking at me even more thoroughly than before.
"Yes, I do," I replied, looking at her. Although she didn't really put much effort into her looks, she exuded a certain grace. However, she was more of a bookworm than a cheerleader girl, which showed her whole demeanour because she seemed a little shy and had that insecurity in her that I knew a little from myself. But the girl in me had disappeared too far, leaving only a hint of a memory of the person I might have been at her age.
"I was also thinking about becoming a healer. Do you like your job?" she asked in a friendly voice, tearing me out of thoughts of my own past.
"Yes, absolutely. However, it often poses a certain challenge because you don't know what the patient is missing. But there is a certain satisfaction in finding that out and being able to heal. So, you have to be quick, but sometimes it's too late and you can't take back certain curses," I answered truthfully.
"Hermione, you should stay upstairs while we try to get the Doxys in the basement under control," Molly Weasley's voice said admonishingly as she stepped into the living room in person.
"Yes, Mrs. Weasley. Forgiveness. I'm going upstairs. Ron should be done with his potions essay by now anyway. I wanted to proofread it." And then the young girl rushed upstairs with her schoolbooks.
"I hope the girl didn't bother you? She's always so inquisitive," Molly said, rolling her eyes slightly. "Sometimes I wish Ron could take care of it more."
"Not at all. It was a pleasure to meet her. When is Harry supposed to come here?" I asked, because I knew that after that my visits would have to be limited to the meetings of the Order. And this made me a little sad, because lately I felt how little the loneliness that I had always appreciated in the past was good for me. But that was before Severus sweetened my nights. By now I was used to the company of him, Remus and Sirius. I often went to this old house on Grimmauld Place, helped Molly and Sirius clean it, or discussed our next monitoring shifts of Harry with Remus. Since I worked at St. Mungo during the day, I was mainly used for the evening, which suited me well, as I never ran the risk of being seen by the boy.
"Only at the very end of the holidays, according to Dumbledore. Sirius and I tried to speed up his arrival, but he thinks it's safe with the Muggles as long as you all guard the boy," Molly explained and I took a breath of relief and sat down on the couch where the young girl had just read her book.
Sirius stepped impetuously through the kitchen door and held his hand strangely outstretched.
"Damn Doxies. It's really time we found the nest and eliminate them all," he cursed to himself until he took notice of me as I rummaged through my magically enlarged bag.
"Ah, you're already here. Then go ahead, tell me what news you have!" Sirius asked and sat down next to me. But I shook my head and watched as Molly disappeared into the kitchen to conjure up a few delicacies before the meeting of the order.
"First of all, it's your turn, give it to me," I ordered, grinning as he hesitantly stretched out his bloody hand to me. "You know that venom of the Doxies can trigger severe inflammation."
I gently dabbed a healing balm on his wound and handed him a potion against the poison of the Doxies. "Keep it calm in case there are more accidents like this."
He hummed offended, which made me giggle.
"Did I hear a familiar laugh?" the voice of Remus suddenly asked behind us.
I got a little kiss on my cheek before he threw himself next to us, which Sirius observed, frowning but silent.
"So then, tell me everything you know. The ceiling is slowly falling on my head here. It's unbearable," Sirius says, rolling his eyes and glancing at the door. "She doesn't make it any better."
"Have you taken a look at the Daily Prophet? Dumbledore was thrown by his senior posts in the Wizengamot and the International Confederation of Wizards at the instigation of the Ministry," Remus asked softly, glancing at the steps to make sure none of the children were eavesdropping on us. We didn't discover any of the children, but we did discover what appeared to be flesh-colored something pointing in our direction.
"Keep talking, Remus. That sounds interesting," I said loud to him, while Sirius and I got up silently and slowly and ran up to this thing and found that it was in the shape of an ear. I pulled it a little and I heard rumbling and trampling on the stairs above us, followed by the frantic closing of a door.
"What's that?" Sirius asked, taking the structure out of my hand to examine it in detail.
"Definitely something the kids were eavesdropping on," I said, hearing Molly draw in her air sharply behind me. I hadn't even noticed how she had come into the kitchen and flinched when I suddenly heard her loud voice.
"These troublemakers. I told them not to eavesdrop on us! If they noticed something that wasn't meant for them... They know perfectly well that I don't want them to be dragged into this war. They're way too young to—" she began to yelp, but Sirius interrupted her with a wave of his hand.
"Your twins are only a few months younger than we were in the last war, when we entered the Order. I think they should decide for themselves whether-," Sirius replied, who was again interrupted by Molly.
"No, Sirius. They are far too young to understand the implications. They underestimate the danger and overestimate themselves and their abilities beyond measure," she said loudly, putting her hands on her hips. I watched the two of them and yet could not hold back the opinion that was hovering in my head.
"I have to agree with Molly. The two of them may not be far from us back then in terms of age. But think about the fact that we, too, underestimated the danger in our youthful naivety," I said, putting my hand on Sirius' trembling shoulder to reduce his excitement. "And yet we are enough adults who are in the Order and know what this membership means and can have consequences."
Sirius looked at me with sad eyes, for he immediately understood the extent of which I was speaking.
"At least one of you thinks decently! No, I'm going to search the whole room for these things. I've had enough," she said angrily, tearing Sirius' ear out of her hand.
"Maybe you should put a protective spell on the door to the kitchen at important meetings, Molly," I said quietly as I thought of Fred and George's abilities. Because I knew they had a clever mind, which they unfortunately only used for useless things. At least so far because an idea suddenly shot through my mind.
"Molly, if you can find those ears, maybe you could save some for us in the Order. I have a feeling that maybe we could actually use them," I shouted after the red-haired woman who angrily stomped up the stairs.
"She's in a bad mood anyway because her third eldest son has been promoted to junior secretary to the Minister of Magic Fudge, not realizing that the minister just wants to use him to spy on the Weasleys and Dumbledore. They had a big fight and the boy moved out and now lives here in London alone," Remus explained to both of us with a mild smile and tried to justify the angry mother.
I understood that it is certainly difficult if the children do not act according to their own wishes, but I thought to myself that at this age they might know where their path should go. And to do so, they needed all the necessary information that we should undoubtedly have given them, but it was not up to me to decide, because who knew their own children better than their own mother. And sometimes it is certainly difficult to let the children or friends go their own way, for which they thought they were ready. After all, I knew this feeling in a different form when I watched Severus join Lord Voldemort at that time. It was his own decision that drove him down this dark path, and there was no justification for it then, any more than there is now. It was the part of him that he wasn't proud of and that I actually condemned about him, even though we were both still learning to live with it more and more.
Suddenly, the front door swung open and a young woman entered, clapped her foot painfully on the troll's leg in the entrance area, cursed and knocked over a stool that fell loudly against a table and noisily tore the entire knick-knack on the floor. Immediately, Mrs. Black's painting shouted down her usual triad of insults at us.
"I'll take care of it," Sirius said, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly to focus on his screaming mother, while Remus grinned broadly.
"Wotcher," greeted us Tonks, who wore her hair today orange and shoulder-length.
"You're quite early for the Order's meeting," I said, slightly amused, as my gaze slid to Remus, who suddenly made himself a little taller next to me.
"Yes, I thought to myself, so we can all chat a little more and coordinate our shifts to monitor Harry. I'm scheduled for the day tomorrow, but I have to work through a lot in the ministry. That's why I'd have to swap," she said, looking at Remus wide-eyed.
"No problem. Then you go with Catherine at this night and I'll take over the day with Emmeline," Remus said, looking at Tonks nervously running his hand through his hair. I rolled my eyes inwardly and a thought occurred to me to speed up this a little.
"Oh, I'd rather take over the day shift tomorrow, I'm off from St. Mungo's and have other plans in the evening," I said, remembering that today I had to persuade Severus to meet this night after the meeting. Alone. It had been 3 weeks without us having even a minute together. He was so extremely busy in his duties as a double spy that I was worried about what would happen if the tasks at Hogwarts were added, what would happen in a few weeks.
"So that means Remus and I... together," Tonks stuttered a little awkwardly, her eyes widening at the thought. But I watched with relish as her shock turned into a kind of childlike joy as a grin spread across her heart-shaped face.
"Exactly. I hope that's okay for both of you. Although I have the impression that you get along quite well," I said and gave Remus a meaningful look, under which he immediately turned pink.
Sirius cleared his throat behind us to announce his presence after stuffing the witch's mouth on the wall. But the huge screaming of Molly Weasley on the upper floors was almost the same, so we quickly retreated to the large and cozier kitchen area.
"By the way, I have the new Daily Prophet with me," Tonks said to break the awkward silence and put the newspaper on the kitchen table.
"Is this trash paper finally writing something interesting?" Sirius asked in a contemptuous tone, taking a close look at the paper.
"Just the usual, the smear campaign against Dumbledore and Harry, which portrays Dumbledore as a senile weirdo and Harry as an imaginary brawler. No sound at Voldemort's return," Tonks said, dropping his shoulders slightly.
"Then I have the perfect use for it," Sirius grumbled and threw the sheet directly into the fire under the stove, on which Molly had already prepared a few delicacies, where the newspaper burned in a breath.
Enraged, Molly came to us in the kitchen, slammed three of the ears on the kitchen table and grumbled and devoted herself to the food. Tonks picked up one of the Extendable Ears and raised it with a questioning look in his hand. After we educated Tonks about the so-called, everyone took one of them. Our grinning faces betrayed more restrictively that we were ready to use them profitably at some point.
Suddenly, a Patronus appeared in the form of a weasel, which immediately frightened Molly when it jumped wildly through the kitchen before it came to a stop in front of our open mouths. Its silver light was like a mist glittering in the light of the setting sun.
"Harry has cast a Patronus spell. We don't know why, but he is not allowed to leave the house under any circumstances. Dumbledore tries to reassure the Ministry. More later," Arthur Weasley's voice spoke before the Patronus figure dissipated.
"Write to Harry immediately that he is not allowed to leave the house," I shouted to Sirius, who stood there with his mouth open as if rooted and attacked. Remus rummaged for a parchment and handed it to him.
I thought of a happy moment when I was in the arms of Severus and he smiled at me. My Patronus sprouted out of my wand. The shining silver animal looked at me expectantly.
"Tibi," I shouted loudly, trying to connect in my mind with the bird, which certainly slept in my apartment on the outskirts of the city. My Patronus rushed off and disappeared. A few minutes later, Tibi, my little owl, flew in and Sirius tied the letter for Harry, before my faithful companion screamed and left for the Muggle house where Harry urgently needed to stay.
"Who was on the shift today?" I asked aloud, looking into the widened eyes of all the bystanders.
"Sturgis and Mundungus," Sirius hissed through his clenched mouth.
"That good-for-nothing Mundungus! I warned Dumbledore not to trust him," Molly shouted, holding on to the chair. "But what did Sturgis do? Why didn't he prevent Harry from doing magic or doing something else unwise? He's reliable."
I shrugged my shoulders and looked into perplexed faces. So far, Sturgis Podmore has been a useful member of the Order and Ministry, because we all knew well from the first war.
Tibi returned and sat down on my shoulder, croaking.
"Is Harry still there? Is he okay?" I asked, lovingly scratching the animal's feathered neck. He cooed long and I nodded to the bystanders with a smile.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well, do any of you have any ideas on how we can get the boy here safely?" asked Albus Dumbledore wearily over his half-moon glasses. He had just informed us that Dementors were indeed in Little Whinging to ambush Harry. He himself was just able to prevent the boy from being expelled from the wizarding community because of the illegal Patronus spell, even though it was the only thing to save himself and his cousin. It was obvious that the Death Eaters knew that we were guarding Harry outside his home and also that Mundungus Fletcher was distracted by a trick. Sturgis Podmore, on the other hand, sat in the middle of us with his head bowed. The blond wizard had stated that he had to work through urgent orders from the ministry and that Mundugus considered capable enough to handle the task alone.
"Well? Is there a plan? Please note that the flea network is strictly controlled," Albus asked again.
"We could just get him out," Sirius slammed, and some murmured in agreement.
"No, Harry himself is not allowed to do magic yet and I'm afraid he could be accused of doing that at his hearing," Dumbledore replied, shaking his head, so that his long beard wobbled noisily.
"We could fly on brooms. Harry is excellent at this," Remus said thoughtfully.
"Good. But how do we camouflage ourselves in such a way that neither the Ministry gets wind of it nor our enemy has a chance to get him," Albus asked and Alastor cleared his throat.
"We could get him out of there with a disillusionment spell and some of us standing by to protect him. And, of course, different flight strategies to confuse pursuers and not reveal our real destination." His magic eye flitted ominously over each of us, while his healthy eye was fixed on the headmaster. I didn't know how Alastor had lost his eye, since it happened in his office as Auror after the war and it wasn't me who had treated him.
"Very well thought out, Alastor. And now there are the Dursleys, who are best neither found out about it nor our present," the headmaster thought aloud and smiled when he saw Tonks raising her hand.
"How about we just lure them to an evening event for Muggles..."
I couldn't listen any further, because suddenly Severus entered the room.
My gaze wandered to the countless buttons that were spread all over his torso. Without saying a word, he sat down in the empty seat next to Dumbledore, keeping his eyes lowered to his hands with his long, graceful fingers, to prepare himself inwardly for the meeting before him. I sensed that he had heard of Harry's narrow escape. It must have played badly with him because it was something that may not have been within his control. As my gaze wandered over his figure, I also felt a certain excitement permeate my body at the sight of him. Shit. But I shouldn't be surprised that his mere appearance was enough to drive me crazy by now, because it had just been too long since I could touch or even feel his warm body. This thought alone made me wander further away from the conversation of those around me, until the sound of his name brought me back to the present, where I remained alone in my chair and the man of my desire seemed too far away from me.
"Severus, it's good that you're finally here, because-" Albus began, but was interrupted by a loud grunt from Sirius.
"He must have been late for chasing the Dementors down Harry's neck!" he shouted sullenly.
"As always, you're wrong, dog! I'm late because the Dark Lord wanted an intricate magic potion to strengthen his mind. And I have absolutely nothing to do with Potter's mishap. Others were responsible for this and as I mentioned at the last meeting, it was only a matter of time before they found a gap in the monitoring," Severus barked back viciously.
"Please calm down. I'm sure Severus would have informed us immediately if anything like this had reached his ears," Dumbledore said, raising his hands reassuringly.
"Let's continue with the meeting. So, the plan for the boy is in place. Are there any other volunteers who will pick up the boy besides Tonks, Remus and Alastor?" he asked the group and I saw Emmeline, who had grown a strong stature over the years, Kingsley Shacklebolt with a gold earring, Elphias Doge, an elderly wizard with silver-grey hair, the black-haired Hestia Jones, Daedalus Diggel with his top hat and, very hesitantly, the straw-blond Sturgis Podmore.
"That should be enough. Tonks, you take care of the message to the Dursleys. And Alastor continues to refine the plan strategically." Both people nodded. "Then Severus, what new information do you have?" Albus, like the other heads at the table, turned to the man to whom I was hanging on the lips all the time, lost in thought.
"More employees of the ministry will be subjugated with the Imperius. Unfortunately, I don't know who exactly the target is. As always, the Dark Lord is keeping a low profile when it comes to precise orders. He only discusses the details with those directly responsible," Severus said and his eyes darted to me for a few seconds, which literally melted me away. I felt that I am like wax in his hands. "And I have something else to discuss with you under four eyes, Albus." He looked invitingly at Dumbledore.
"Certainly. We'll do that afterwards. Before that, I have to clarify..."
I couldn't follow the meeting any further, because I watched Severus briefly run over his shoulder. Was he in pain? Did he need help? I jerked restlessly in my chair, which had suddenly become uncomfortable. Severus caught my worried gaze for a moment and the corners of his mouth bent slightly upwards before shaking his head curtly and barely noticeably.
That was the gesture again, which I almost hated by now. He signalled to me to hold back, not to meet him. But this time he just couldn't get away with it. I had to know how he was doing, let him speak, feel his hands and let them run along my trembling body until I-
"And, Catherine?" Albus Dumbledore asked me, and all eyes were suddenly on me.
"Excuse me?" I asked timidly, feeling myself blush. I felt exposed, although certainly no one could have guessed the slightest thought that had filled my head and heart for the past few minutes.
"Have you dealt with any strange cases at St. Mungo's or heard of those that could be Voldemort's account?" Albus asked again, but this time his voice sounded more impatient than usual.
"No. Nothing more than the usual curses and poisoning, although of course I can't rule out the possibility that the Death Eaters are now more subtle than in the last war," I replied and looked the headmaster firmly in the eye as I heard his loud sigh.
"Now that they're hiding their presence, it's only possible. All right, then we'll end today's meeting. I will talk to the volunteers for Harry's pick-up separately in the next few days. Severus, please accompany me for a while along the way. I suppose you're skipping dinner anyway as usual?"
"Indeed," Severus said as he stood up and turned to leave with Dumbledore. I stood up slowly and apologized to Molly for the dinner, which I was about to miss. Remus watched me with raised eyebrows as I threw on my coat and followed the two men through the door at a certain distance. He knew my secret and even though I knew he didn't fully approve of it, I was grateful for his secrecy.
After a few steps, I pulled the Extendable Ear out of my robe and enchanted it so that it floated in front of me. In the dark, it was almost invisible. I sent a silent thank you to the twins, whose actions I had not yet come to appreciate. But there is magic in every beginning...
"Well, Severus? What is it? Is he after Harry again? I know you warned me, but I didn't think it is possible that they would really send Dementors out in broad daylight to a Muggle area where they would go out of their way to remain unseen."
"Unfortunately, I was not fully aware of the plan. Forgive me, I hope it won't happen again," Severus said softly, and I realized that he was looking down at the ground as if he actually felt guilty about it. Guilty of exposing the boy to such danger, even though Severus was doing nothing else to prevent it from happening.
"Well, I know you're doing your best. But what is your concern then?" asked Dumbledore, apparently with grandfatherly generosity.
"It's... the Dark Lord is getting tired of my lack of information." I heard him say this with a certain restraint in his voice before clearing his throat briefly and continuing. "He wants me to provide him with very valuable information in the near future, so that my ... position does not become dispensable."
Dumbledore suddenly stopped and looked straight into Severus' pale face before nodding in understanding. "Well, again, that was only a matter of time, right? What kind of information is he looking for, Severus? How dangerous is he at the moment?"
"He still seems physically unstable. And of course, the fact that he needed a strong magic potion for his concentration of his thoughts makes me suspicious. When I asked him what exactly he needed it for, he avoided me and told me something about thoughts that were not his."
Dumbledore is silent for a while, looking at the sky while being uncertainly scrutinized by Severus.
"Give him Hagrid and Olympe," the old wizard said dryly and I had to be careful not to betray myself with a loud gasp, even though I was standing in the shade of a house at a good distance.
"Excuse me?" I heard Severus ask incredulously.
"He's certainly not going to kill them. And it is quite likely that the giants have already told our Tom that Rubeus and Olympe have started recruiting. If it secures you favour and your survival, it's a necessary evil," Dumbledore said, continuing to gaze at the starry sky above him.
"I can't betray any members of the Order, Albus," Severus growled.
"Hagrid would understand if he found out about it," Dumbledore said, looking at his interlocutor. "Every war requires sacrifices, Severus. We all know the risks we took by joining the Order."
"Do we really do that?" Severus asked dryly, shaking his head. "I doubt that the intellect of the half-giant is sufficient to fully grasp such a thing."
"I would trust Hagrid with my life, Severus. Just like you," Dumbledore said, a smile forming on his old face. Severus was apparently thinking about the headmaster's words before the old man said goodbye.
I watched in silence as Severus remained in the void for a while after the headmaster disappeared into a cloud, completely absorbed in his thoughts. Asked to betray for the greater good, it visibly gnawed at him, and I wondered with pressed lips together if I could really be a support for him that night. It wasn't until Severus started moving again that I quickly stepped to his side, because it was as if my body and heart were taking the decision away from my soul.
"It's unwise to wander around in such a deserted area at this time of day." It was the only thing that came over his lips and I felt an unpleasant disappointment about it rising inside me.
"I've missed you, Severus," I said softly, stepping even closer to him, ignoring his quiet accusation that I had spied on him.
"So that's why you're eavesdropping on me and Dumbledore? Or did you want to find out new information that you could reveal to the wolf and the dog?" he hissed in an icy tone, so that my heart suddenly convulsed. What was the reason for this distance that he wanted to build?
"Severus, you're the one who's been refusing contact with me for weeks, not me. So, it's more up to me to ask what makes you do it," I said to him in a soft but firm voice, lovingly brushing his black curtain of hair out of his pale face. Severus closed his eyes briefly before sighing softly. He knew I wouldn't let him go without an explanation.
"I'm being chased by the rat Pettigrew. The Dark Lord doesn't trust me completely yet," Severus said in a low voice and his gaze wandered across the ground again, apparently in search of the human just discussed, who resembled a rat.
"I need to know if you're okay," I said, reaching for his hand, which was cool. He twitched briefly under the touch before his gaze snapped over my body. Apparently, he also felt this insatiable desire after the past weeks of abstinence.
"Good. In an hour at the usual meeting place," he relented after a few moments, before he pulled away from my hand, turned around and dragged away with a rushing cloak.
I stood at the front door of the cottage, leaning against the door frame, my gaze feverishly scanning the landscape in front of me. The grass, which seemed so gloomy in the darkness, was roamed by my feverish gaze and I listened into the shadows, but only heard the sound of the sea, whose waves crashed against the cliffs, smelled the salty breeze that brought it to me and, despite the excitement of holding Severus in my arms in a few minutes, I felt at home, in security.
And then I discovered how a dark slender figure rushed out of the adjacent forest quickly but silently and moved towards the small cottage by the sea. I couldn't hold on to myself anymore and ran towards him. My feet were sliding over the damp grass and I was struggling to keep my balance, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be with him.
He hugged me tightly, and immediately hid his head in my long hair, which I wore open and reached my waist. I sucked in his scent deeply, as if it could be the last time in a long time.
He suddenly loosened his grip and brushed the hair out of my face before gently wrapping his hands around my cheeks.
"Severus, I..." But already I felt his lips on mine and so I closed my eyes. I smiled as he pulled away from me, grabbed his hand and led him into the warmth of the house. Our four walls.
But the way to the bedroom seemed too far for Severus because he opened my dress already in the hallway and began to close his hands around my breasts, his breathing became heavier. I unzipped the buttons of his black frock coat that I had opened so many times before, but this time it felt different, my excitement was almost palpable. I looked at his shoulder and saw a cut that was already healing. Severus recognized my gaze and shook his head.
"Later," he whispered in my ear.
And Severus seemed to know exactly what he wanted as he inspected my naked body in front of him. He turned me around and bent my torso over the chair in the hallway area.
And without warning I felt his stiff penis inside me so it took my breath away.
And he thrusted hard again, I heard him moan behind me. I gasped at the intense friction that ran through my inner walls.
Severus had his hands on my hip and held it tightly to him with each thrust, penetrating deep into me.
When I looked in front of me, I saw my blushed face in the mirror, my open lips, through which the breath went heavily.
And I saw Severus fixing my body, his black bottomless eyes sparkling as they saw my breasts vibrating with every firm thrust from him.
"Say you're mine!" he suddenly commanded in a deep voice, and his hand began to pull my nipple. "Say it!"
"I belong to you, Severus," I shouted as he thrust into me again violently.
I felt moisture covering my insides, heard his penis slide in and out in these juices, felt his balls clap on my buttocks with every thrust.
"Say that you are mine forever! No matter what. That you won't ever love anyone else as much as you love me. Say it, now!" he barked in my ear as he leaned forward slightly over my back. Both hands now remained on my breasts and he looked deep into the eyes of my reflection.
"I'm yours, Severus. Forever and I won't love anyone else. No matter what happens," I said, looking in the mirror in front of me into his eyes, which had narrowed into slits, focused on my lips and my words. "All that matters is the two of us, Severus. I love you. Forever and always."
He closed his eyes and then I felt his thrusts again, this time softer and more drawn-out, they stretched my innermost being in pleasure, his fingers now wandered to my clitoris, massaging and pressing. It challenged me and my perception to the limit.
And already my excitement rose to its peak, I cried out briefly as it came over me, my hands clenching over the chair I was holding onto.
Severus paused with his thrusts, massaged, continued my clitoris, enjoyed watching and feeling my walls pulsate, my face contorted into a grimace in tension.
Then he turned me around, took me in his arms and kissed me up the stairs, where we spent the remaining hours of the night as if we were two starved animals.
After our last union, he did not lie down with me to cuddle as usual, but reached for his wand to fetch his clothes with a call of magic.
"What's wrong with your shoulder wound?" I asked, pointing my finger at the skin, through which a large slit was running, but it was already beginning to heal with a healing ointment.
"That's nothing. The Dark Lord is just impatient. And as long as you're not in his great favour, you have to reckon with it if you don't work satisfactorily," he said, waving his hand. It struck me how little he thought of himself. But was it a miracle where he was only of use to Dumbledore and Voldemort if he provided valuable information?
"Don't we want to talk about everything?" I asked quietly, watching a little sullenly as Severus put on a pair of black underpants. I missed the hours spent together and wondered if it was any different for him.
"About what?", he asked, and my innermost being was in turmoil.
"For example, how are you? When will we see each other again alone? About all our plans. Just like we've always done," I said, looking at him with a fixed gaze.
He sighed and sat down next to me on the edge of the bed.
"I'm not sleeping, Catherine. I'm being persecuted, the Dark Lord doesn't trust me completely yet, and it's questionable if he'll ever do that again. He has big plans. And there is horror over all this, Catherine," he said in a deep voice and looked at me seriously.
"I know it's difficult, but it has to work somehow, Severus. I don't want to forget what we're doing all this for," I said, running a finger in circles over his abdominal muscles, which stood out through his slim stature.
"I doubt you do. You've got Lupin and Black by your side and those Tonks. You'll be fine, even if you have to do without me," he said, smiling affectionately as if he could be sure that he had left me in good hands, even though he pronounced the surnames of my friends with disgust.
"It's not the same to be among friends as it is with the love of my life, Severus. You should know that. Besides, what about you? You're surrounded by enemies, not friends," I replied as Severus took my hand and brought it to his mouth for a kiss.
"You are probably the only one who cares about my well-being and not just my benefit. But I don't lack anything. You know, before you were in my life, I got along in life too," he explained, his mouth forming a wry smile.
"You survived, Severus. That's a difference from life," I said and pulled him back to me.
"Is that it? Well, then I'll just survive for a while as long as it's necessary," he said softly before kissing me gently.
Notes:
Finally, a new chapter after a little break. A little longer this time too. I hope you enjoy it.
