🌸Cherry Blossom Palette: Summer by the Sea🎨

Doorway into Summer Arc

Chapter 14: The Afterparty [Part One]


Written by EmtenDew

Edited by P. serrulata


Author's note:

ED: Last time, we left off with Naoto shuffling off to dreamland, but not before recalling his Wednesday night with Gamo-chan.

Some of you have been curious as to their time at the sandwich shop, and here it is.

This will be a few chapters in length.

The beach stuff will be less talk and more action.

I just finished Rick and Morty the other day, at least up to present. I have mixed feelings about it. Some of it was good, some of it was not, and it sometimes provided an emotional wallop, but it's usually given too much credit for being deep and stuff.

PS said to me, "Nihilism is easy," and it took me a while to get what he meant, but I think I see it now.

I guess the show's appeal is its duality.

I think I'll watch The Venture Bros. next. We have that confirmed movie, I think the finale, so that'll give me something to watch for a while.

Please look at the Q&A section I set up at the end of the chapter. Ask us anything and we'll add another section in the next chapter. I would be happy if you ask questions.

*Speaking of Q&A, I'm going to start citing the usernames of the readers posting questions. If you wish to remain anonymous, just let me know.*

Please enjoy what I wrote.


Thursday, July 26, 2018

Bushed after spending half the day cleaning the school pool with Sakura Inori and Hana Sunomiya, Naoto Hachioji was finally drifting off to sleep.

But his thoughts were everywhere at once, and the tug-of-war lasted longer than his borderline-wakefulness should've allowed.

The subject that won this little contest brought his rapidly-dwindling consciousness back to the night before, when, after the karaoke party, he'd accepted Maki Gamo's invitation to grab a sandwich.

One day earlier…

After swinging by the bookstore and making his dubious purchase, Naoto had accompanied Gamo-chan to the little Vietnamese sandwich shop, kitty-corner from whence they came.

Since Naoto hadn't had a proper lunch, and Gamo-chan hadn't had any lunch, the two of them grazing on karaoke bar appetizers and other junk food since 2:00 p.m., a sandwich—substantial, with French bread and fresh veggies—had seemed mightily appealing.

They'd ordered their food, and they were waiting for their sandwiches to show up.

It was unusually crowded, large parties lining up out the door, and understaffed, but the two of them had gotten seated and taken care of immediately.

Naoto was sucking on a bottle of Coca-Cola, desperate to have something for his hands and mouth to do, but Gamo-chan had barely touched the large glass of iced tea she'd gotten.

Though she'd suppressed it upon her senpai picking up the volume, horrified at the idea of standing there in the busy little bookstore, perusing manga, Gamo-chan had been very curious to see the sort of comic Naoto had bought.

Well… she KNEW what it was, but she'd never gotten a good look at one…

As it goes, one thing led to another, and out of the public eye, hidden in a booth with her senpai, she had the ecchi manga open before her eyes.

What was he to do when she'd asked to see it…?

He could've said "no", but he didn't fight it, and he watched as she paged through the volume with some distaste, not that she couldn't see the appeal of it.

All the same, Naoto was crimson, wishing he was at the bottom of the ocean or something, rather than sitting across from the Maki, while she scanned her way past panel after panel of the very sort of material over which she and the other girls had tormented him so viciously.

And it was a BAD introduction to the genre too~…

Paradise Harem was a bit much for a greenhorn in the heavier side of the ecchi genre, and matters were made even worse via the introduction of something fans had waited a couple of years to behold.

In a certain parlance, the author had finally cashed the "nipple ticket" for one of the contained chapters, and the ticket must've been good indefinitely, because the areola visibility index only continued to rise as the story went on from there.

Thankfully, these later chapters had yet to be volumized, but it didn't change the fact that Gamo-chan had eyes on that first, fateful chapter…

Naoto wondered how true it was, the legend of the mangaka of some shonen story being issued a physical, literal nipple ticket by his higherups, to be used at his discretion, good for any one chapter of his choice, to show the whole of the female milk-bag, not just the outline or some lame form of censorship, blotting out the goods.

True or not, THIS nipple ticket had yielded indefinite goodness, being good indefinitely…

"…!" He shook his head. 'Get a grip, you asshole…!'

As terrible as it was, Gamo-chan wasn't ragging him about it… not exactly.

In truth, he appreciated her thoughtful-ish honesty…

"This stuff is… pretty dirty, Paisen~," she sputtered, also quite red in the cheeks. "But I guess the art is pretty good… The jokes aren't bad either…"

Naoto could live with this assessment. "…"

"Actually, it's pretty funny~…" Gamo-chan giggled.

"…" He knew it could be worse.

But by no means was it great…

She'd been deflecting him since the bookstore, seemingly not wanting him to get in more than a couple words.

It was as if she didn't want him dictating the subject, going so far as checking out Paradise Harem to keep herself occupied…

To him, it seemed a rotten way to start dinner, deflection or not.

Though, it wasn't as if it was odd, Gamo-chan not wanting to discuss how she'd broken down crying, after singing a duet with Shuu Aisho, or the OTHER things bothering her…

Gamo-chan rotated the book slightly, taking a new angle. "I can't say much for the story itself, just seeing this, but it's definitely some interesting world-building…"

"I think it is…" he said, reasoning it was "safe" to do so.

"Snrk!" Gamo-chan snorted at something she came across, and she had to turn from the book, as to not spray it with laughter. "Kyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh~!"

"…" Naoto tried hard to keep an even keel, incapable of telling if she liked or disparaged what her eyes had fallen on.

Maybe it didn't matter…

"Hey, Paisen…" she giggled. "What would you say if I wanted to borrow this series from you~?"

'You'd have to wait in line; I'm lending them to Sakura-san…' His stomach twinged a little, but he maintained his composure. "If you were serious about it, I'd be happy to lend what I have to you."

The big girl had given a heavy dose of sarcasm to her query, and Naoto wasn't exactly in the mood…

He didn't want to let it bother him, and he'd managed to keep the venom from his voice, but…

"…" He kept his peace, focusing on an imperfection on their table.

She hadn't even registered his response, it seemed. "…"

"…"

"Hey… Paisen…" Gamo-chan voiced, never leaving the manga.

Naoto looked up, hopefully ready for anything. "Yes?"

"Did you like the surprise~…?"

'Surprise…?' he mouthed. "…What are you talking about?"

"The surprise…" she said, scrutinizing his dirty book. "The 1980's theme? For our clothes? I told you yesterday we had a little surprise in store for you."

He recalled her saying that; he just hadn't connected the dots.

But he could say, "I liked it… It was fun."

"…"

"…"

Gamo-chan snickered, "Paisen…?"

It took quite an effort to not roll his eyes, picking up on her tenor.

He was stuck waiting for the 8:00 p.m. bus for THIS…?!

"Yes?" he eased out.

"Remember last fall?" she reminisced. "Hayacchi said something stupid about being sure you had porn hiding in the art room~? And she went snooping around, thinking she'd find a nudie mag or something."

It wasn't something he wished to remember, but, "I remember…"

It was among the pettier of the cuntier things that Hayase Nagatoro had done…

"I never understood you letting her have that one…" Gamo-chan mused. "You knew she was gonna carry on and treat you like shit for no reason for it… Plus, I lost out on a free Marlowe pudding because of that~…"

'You KNEW?!' He hadn't foreseen this, but maybe he'd been stupid to not consider it. "I…"

He really didn't like how she was weaseling into that past humiliation…

"Wasn't it another volume of this series?" Gamo-chan wondered.

He had little reason to not say, as much as he hated it. "Yes… Two volumes earlier…"

"I know that book wasn't in the art room before she 'found' it…" she stated. "Where'd you pull it from? Your schoolbag?"

"…!" Naoto was starting to get more than a little annoyed. "I'd left it in the prep room…"

She didn't need to know he'd been HIDING it, not that she probably hadn't figured on it…

"I really don't know why you let her have that one." She turned a page. "Geez, did she ever gloat about it later…"

'Why?! Because I felt bad for her…' His thoughts blackened. 'FORGIVE ME for not wanting to see her struggle… no matter how fucking stupid it was…'

Not that he didn't HATE himself and think he was stupid for "letting her have that one"…

Gamo-chan measured, "That was a pretty disgusting display on her part… rooting around like that in a place she had no business… And she was looking all disappointed and shit~ when she was coming up emptyhanded.

"That was so worthless… You really should've hung her out to dry on that one. She prolly would've shut her mouth for a while if you'd just let her fizzle out with her bullshit. I can't believe she didn't realize you handed her that 'victory', but I don't think she was thinking much."

'What the Hell are you trying to GET at …?!' Naoto wished she'd stop.

She didn't stop, "I wouldn't have blamed you if you told her to 'fuck off' and tried kicking her out of the art room… I would've dragged her out for you… She really had no respect for you that day…"

Naoto had seen this a few times out of Gamo-chan, though he'd seen it a lot more with Sakura:

Gamo-chan wasn't "filtering" her thoughts the best… not running each and every one of them through the check-valve…

However, there was something different about it—to him—when it came from the Amazon.

Sakura just DID IT… no pomp intended or unintended…

Even if he was getting reamed over whatever it was, he knew it was just Sakura being Sakura, the girl instead of the gal, something she didn't show just anyone.

But when it was Gamo-chan, he occasionally wondered if the reaming was intentional, whether to him or other people.

Naoto had seen it, and he knew it well, the miserable fact sporadically coming to the surface:

Gamo-chan had a cruel streak about her…

And unlike Nagatoro's, it wasn't so ubiquitous.

Nagatoro's cruelty was, from time to time, calculated, but mostly, she simply didn't give a fuck, ESPECIALLY when it came to hurting him—her pet, doing it as casually as if she was blowing her nose or throwing out a soiled tampon…

Sakura had been cruel a time or two, but she'd done it when she was upset or angry with him.

Anytime that Sakura was truly hard on him, it wasn't for her own amusement…

And though she wouldn't want to hear him say it about himself, in virtually all of those junctures, most reasonable people wouldn't say he hadn't deserved it.

Gamo-chan just… lashed out every now and then.

Regardless, there was usually reason to it… not that he could always tell her purpose…

And Naoto didn't like what she was giving him right now.

If he was into baseball—which he wasn't—he'd have called "strike-two!" for dredging up the "porn in the art room" nonsense.

Strike-one had been her insincere manner of asking to borrow his collected tankobon of the series she was still eyeballing…

He hadn't been keeping track of balls—ball-one, ball-two, etc.—but the fourth had been a while ago, and they should've moved on.

Maybe he was being overly sensitive, but…

Gamo-chan mentioned, her smirk—wherever it was coming from—brilliant in its being, "So… that manga you were drawing last year… you sorta based your art style on this series~…?"

But she was stepping on some colossal landmines…

There were a lot of things that Naoto loathed, but being reminded of this contended for tops.

If it were a mountain, it was K2 to Mt. Everest…

It wasn't the very top, but it was the most dangerous, Naoto's feelings towards his first encounter with Nagatoro, Gamo-chan, Yoshi, and Sakura, and all that transpired that day remained increasingly vicious.

Everest didn't kill one-quarter of the people to successfully reach the summit…

Naoto fumed on the inside, his immediate anger burning. 'I really don't wanna talk about my shitty manga…'

Even with the "heat", he felt a chill, from his elbows all the way to the crown of his skull, and he writhed with the tremors.

He decided to answer her anyway, "Yeah, a little. I came up with my own style, but I had this sort of thing in mind when I drew it."

He should've told her that he didn't want to talk about it… and INSIST that he didn't…

But he didn't.

"Whatever happened to that old thing~…?" Gamo-chan burbled. "Is your knight still protecting his warrior chick~?"

'Goddamn it…' Naoto's whole upper-body iced over. "…I shelved it… put it away… haven't thought about it much lately."

The memory of how naïve and stupid he'd been was excruciating…

"Why?" Gamo-chan swung for the fences, though blind to the pitch. "Give up on it~?"

And the memory of their mockery had him wanting to tear the world apart…

"…!" Naoto jittered, the "club soda on the brain" thing in the eaves.

The burly girly's smile remained, even expanding a bit, inattentive as it was.

Strike-fucking-three…

Naoto should've held back, but he didn't, even though he was fairly certain Gamo-chan wasn't trying to be malicious.

It was as if her mind was wandering; HIS had been very culpable of that of late…

But she was being thoughtless, he felt.

And it just rubbed him the wrong way…

An unexpected bitterness rushed out of him, with it, a very bitter answer, "I guess it lost its appeal… It wasn't as much fun for me as it was for you, sitting there—like some little pussy, while you and the other girls fucking made fun of itand me…"

That tended to happen, four girls near the top of the social ladder having a mean laugh at the expense of one pathetic, worthless soul and his pathetic, worthless manga…

If he was honest with himself, he'd kept at his stupid story a little longer, but he'd only grown to hate it more and more, and as Gamo-chan was taking digs, he didn't really care about some of these details.

Gamo-chan might've done anything:

She might've thrown her drink in his face, thrown the book in his face, torn up the book and then thrown it in his face, slapped him, thrown a punch, cursed him out, or stood up and walked, never wishing to see him again.

In response to his brevity, her hands fumbled with a small yelp. "Heek?!"

The manga fell from her grasp, landing on its half-open side, falling coverside-up on the table as it closed itself.

"…!" Naoto experienced a rush of nausea, shutting his eyes. 'What did I DO that for…?'

It wasn't a GAG, but it was a sense of sickness, churning his entrails…

Opening his eyes, he beheld a discouraging sight.

Gamo-chan had gone crimson, looking mightily ashamed of herself… and hurt.

"…!" Naoto wished he could've kicked his own ass for a good while.

Why'd he have to lose his cool so badly…?!

Meanwhile, Gamo-chan picked up the book, examining it for bends or tears, and finding no imperfections, she gently slid it back to him, her stricken, sad eyes downcast.

"Sorry…" she murmured.

She was cowed…!

Shuddering, Naoto groped around for something to say. "…!"

And… he had nothing…

"…" Gamo-chan sat, fidgeting.

Naoto might've had a lead weight where his stomach should've been. "…!"

They'd talked so casually, even being forthcoming, the last few days, and he'd fucked things up again!

"…"

"…"

"…Paisen…?" the girl eked.

He jarred. "Ack!"

"I'm sorry…" she did little more than whisper.

She appeared very upset… and quite guilty.

How could he be so stupid…?

Naoto wanted to say it was "alright", but that would've been a lie.

"…I, uh…" he tried to say something, but nothing came out.

Gamo-chan continued squirming, beet-red. "…"

"…!" Naoto couldn't leave it like this.

He probably couldn't express himself to Gamo-chan as well as he'd like, but…

"Please, Paisen, I'm being serious! There's something I wanna say! Please don't tune me out…"

When he'd been reluctant, a day ago, to hear whatever bombshell he knew to be coming, she'd begged him to hear her out.

She trusted him enough to tell him how afraid she was of pretty much any other (non-family) guy than him… and why…

"Paisen, I… I think I kinda see what you mean, but… is there some way to… I dunno… sum it up?"

When he'd "waxed artistic" to her, possibly worse than he ever had to Sakura and even the four sensei who'd had the power to suspend him, Monday, she'd wanted to "get it".

She WANTED things between them to be clear; she WANTED them to communicate properly… to understand…

And Naoto wanted it too…

It struck him as odd, but he pushed the book back her way, not really knowing what was behind his doing it.

Maybe it was a many-paged olive branch, of sorts…

"Hmm?" It surprised her enough to get her to halt, and she didn't know what to make of it. "What…?"

Her eyes darted from the book to him, to the book from him, from him to her hands, to the book from her hands, finally settling on him.

Naoto shivered again, scared of how he'd proceed, and Gamo-chan saw it clearly enough.

"Paisen…?" she eased. "You, uh…"

He knew he was a sorry sight… but he could still attempt to get his point across.

Hadn't he told her just the day before that she was a great friend, a very pretty girl, and really neat…?

He had.

And they'd been MORE than forthcoming with one another; they'd taken leaps in faith…

"I'm… sorry for that, Gamo-chan…" he apologized. "That wasn't cool… not cool at all…"

"…Paisen…?"

Considering they'd both desired clarity, and the conversation wasn't more than 30-odd hours ago, he hoped she'd be receptive to the same concept…

He tried, his face on fire, "Could… I try to explain…?"

"…?" She blinked.

Naoto knew it was too much to ask, but, "I'm sorry for that, Gamo-chan… would you please listen…?"

"…" Her eyes rested somewhere between them.

He could only hope. "…"

"…"

"…"

In response, she reached out, slid the Paradise Harem volume back to herself, resting it cover-up and lacing her fingers over it.

And she nodded nervously, having trouble maintaining eye contact but not shying away either. "…"

It seemed a very positive sign…

Naoto would run with it.

His scalp was already prickling, despite having not started, and he felt an especially sharp twinge inside.

But he ran with it, "Lately, I've… been feeling really angry about certain things… things I thought I was over or I thought didn't bother me anymore… things I wish I'd handled differently… things I regret doing or not doing…

"My dumb manga… I don't know why I just couldn't have just calmly asked you to stop talking about it… I just… got angry right away about it…"

Sakura had picked up that comic garbage of his, laughed at it, and had distributed it, mixed-up and askew, amongst the other three girls… and they'd laughed at it too… and he HATED that…

"I don't think I'm mad at you, but… I'm just mad about it… how I was so weak about it…"

The details made him sick… and he didn't want to go into them…

"It's like… those four girls I met in the library that day aren't the same girls that I know now…"

That might not've been entirely true of Nagatoro though… and he hated HIMSELF for letting her torment him until he cried, seeming to enjoy it more than anything else on Earth, the little bi—

'No…' he stopped himself.

But he spat with venom, "I really hate myself for letting you all do that to me… and for being so stupid, thinking I'd made something worth anything, when it was just… idiotic and childish and clichéd…"

This time, he didn't stop himself:

That little bitch… that little CUNT… that little piece of unevenly suntanned shit… had shown him that sooooooooo~ fucking kindly

"…" His eyes heating up, looking down, he clasped his shaking hands together… as not to punch a hole in the wall next to him.

"…"

"…?"

"…"

Naoto couldn't fathom not hearing anything. "Aren't you gonna say something…?"

"About what…?" Gamo-chan responded.

Her gentle tone caught him unaware, and he looked up at her.

He'd never seen a kinder face on her, he thought… and he'd just dumped ALL THAT on her…

"I'm sorry…" he choked, his gaze retreating.

"Don't be…" The tone didn't leave her voice; she immediately reached across the table, putting her hands over his. "It's okay, Paisen… I wasn't thinking… and I know I prolly would've brushed you off… even if you calmly told me to stop… I get it."

Almost impulsively, his hands unclasped and allowed hers in; he stifled a sob, "Hrn…!"

"It's okay…" Gamo-chan soothed. "I should've figured you wouldn't like that…"

Though she'd said so, he wasn't sure why. "How's it okay…?"

How WAS it okay…? Really…?!

"I don't mean it's 'okay' okay…" she said. "I mean, I think I understand where you're coming from."

He could see that, if they were indeed on the same page. "You think it's 'okay'…"

"Why wouldn't it be?" she asked.

Naoto's mind scrambled, and one of the reasons came out, "Well… I said a while ago to you that… all the stuff like that didn't really bother me that much…"

For a few seconds, she said nothing, only kneading at the back of his hand with a thumb. "…"

"…" Naoto barely thought about it.

Gamo-chan made up her mind, saying, "That was a while ago, wasn't it…? I know things can change. And some of the stuff was worse than others…

"Even if we think we've gotten over something, it doesn't take much for that to change… I know that…"

"…" He continued to stew.

She apologized, "I'm sorry, Paisen… for back then…"

"I know…" he accepted.

"…"

"…"

Gamo-chan didn't seem pleased about it, but she divulged, "I'll tell you about something kinda like that… It's different though."

"…?" Naoto perked up. 'Something like it…?'

She exhaled, "Paisen… did you know that Hayacchi makes fun of me for liking Disney movies…?"

"…!" He jerked in her grasp; he couldn't help it.

She recoiled slightly, letting go, only because he'd jumped a little. "…?!"

Naoto reddened. "…"

"I'll take that as a 'maybe'…" she opted, her back pressed against the booth's upright.

He opted, rather tense himself, "I… may have heard something like that…"

"Yoshi…? Sakura…? Which one?"

He just said what he knew.

"Sakura-san told me that you, Yoshi-san, and her once watched the three Toy Story movies without Nagatoro… when she made fun of you for it."

Gamo-chan's blush, never gone, increased. "I see… Well, that did happen…"

"…"

"Nothing else?" she asked.

'Nothing that YOU wanna hear…' Naoto sustained. "Nah…"

"…"

"…"

Both settled back into their seats…

Picking up her tea and giving her straw a slurp~, Gamo-chan ogled him. "…?"

"…" Naoto stared back evenly.

Whether Gamo-chan bought it or not, it didn't seem to matter, because she journeyed on, "I wasn't the greatest kid to deal with—I know that—but Hayacchi? She was spoiled rotten… I mean, really spoiled…

"Her family was never poor or anything—not even close—but before she came along, they had a lot less money, so Hayacchi had all the things Misaki and Taiga never had, being a lot younger… They didn't like that… not a bit…"

"…" He couldn't imagine either of those wastes-of-life enjoying that.

Maybe that's why they were mean to lil' Hayase…

That aside, he continued pinning his ears to Gamo-chan's words.

"Those two weren't the only ones that had a problem with it; this girl did too~," she dredged, whimsically/mockingly indicating herself. "It was Hayacchi's eighth birthday… April 2, 2010… half a lifetime ago…

"She didn't always mock Disney; I think she still prolly likes it, secretly. She was the biggest 'rah-rah-rah' Disney Princess fanatic you could imagine though, back when we were… six, seven, eight-years-old."

Naoto wanted to assure her that he was all-ears. "That's not unusual…"

"No, it's not…" Gamo-chan was pleased that he was engaged. "But I wasn't, not really…"

"…" Something told him he didn't want her to elaborate.

"So… what happened was this…" she shared. "Hayacchi's parents sprung for an all-girls' birthday party. They went all-out, rented Princess costumes, put up lights, all that crap…

"It was only a few months after The Princess and the Frog, so Hayacchi wanted to be Tiana, the newest Princess.

"At that time, there were nine Princesses—for some reason, Eilonwy isn't one of them… but by that time, they'd already kicked Tinkerbell and Esmerelda from the list."

'Who the eff is "Eilonwy"…?' Naoto couldn't place this one.

"And there were nine of us overall…" Gamo-chan had no idea what was going on behind those senpai-ish eyes. "We had to dress up like the Princesses, and Hayacchi had already chosen which girl got which costume. Yoshi got to be Princess Aurora… from Sleeping Beauty

"Because of my hair-color, I just fuckin' had to be Ariel… y'know, from The Little Mermaid…"

Naoto nodded. "Okay."

"The problem was that I was already too big to fit in the costume, with my legs needing to fit in the tail," she said sourly. "The girl in the Cinderella costume wasn't nearly as tall as me, but she was a lot chunkier than me, and we would've fit just fine in each other's costumes…

"But Hayacchi didn't want us to switch… and neither did the other girl… So, I had to wear that stupid costume, with both my legs showing… and when it came time for pictures, Hayacchi demanded I pull my legs in, wanting it to 'look better for the picture~', and when I tried, I tore the costume, and then she acted like I RUINED everything

"…Nobody even said anything against her… Back then, she could do no wrong~, so far as her parents were concerned. And I'd torn that rental costume, so… yeah

"The rest of 'em…? Other than Yoshi, they all laughed… and Hayacchi just got angrier about it…

"…

"I cried, Paisen… and I wasn't in any of the Princess photos… though you can see me wearing the damn thing in other photos in her stupid photo album… with both my long legs sticking out…"

Taken aback, Naoto pondered on why Gamo-chan would hold onto this, 'Eight-years-old…?! That was a REALLY long time ago… Why would anyone…?'

He wasn't pondering for long.

Gamo-chan gritted her teeth. "But what really hurts about all that…? Hayacchi made fun of me for years over it. It seemed that whenever I felt like total shit, she'd bring it up.

"Sometimes, she'll still bring it up… like it's the funniest thing in the world… and she can be pretty mean about it… like she forgot about what actually happened… having her own memory of it that cuts out the 'bad' parts…

"But I wasn't laughing… She thought it was funny… but it hurt so much, always being the 'big little girl'…

"I fucking hate thinking about that…! I feel so angry, just thinking about it, that I just wanna… Rrrr!"

Cheeks flushed, she mimed something with her hands, clenching and unclenching them.

"…"

"…"

Naoto gathered Gamo-chan's story was over. "…"

He saw, alright… why she might carry something like that with her…

"Hiff…" she sniffled, rubbing at her damp eyes with her palms, looking profoundly miserable.

He was flabbergasted.

That she'd tell him that story…!

It wasn't difficult for him to picture that whole, sorry scene.

This pretty girl… his FRIEND… a little girl weeping, ill-treated just for being what she was…

He thought a minute. "…"

It was different, but he'd tell her…

He'd be lying if he said he was sure what compelled him.

He certainly wasn't trying to one-up her…

"Gamo-chan," he said. "Listen to this…"

She somewhat disinterestedly gazed back. "Hmm?"

"A few years ago, I got the 'rare' anime figure out of one of those mystery boxes," Naoto commenced. "You know what I'm talking about?"

Sitting up a little higher, she replied, suddenly more interested, "Yeah, sure…"

"It only cost me about ¥800, but people were willing to spend as much as… well, as much as ¥35,000 to get one…"

Now, he had Gamo-chan's attention; she'd worn a pair of shoes that day worth ¥40,000+, and she'd found them for one-fifth that price.

She knew what it was like to come across such a lucky find…

"…!" She was officially interested.

Naoto almost chuckled at her manner, but he didn't quite.

"I put it on my shelf, Gamo-chan…" he continued. "It was a really cool figure of a character I liked. I could've sold it for a lot of money, but I didn't want to. I was so happy to find something like that… even proud

"But one day, I got home from school, and I found it was gone. Now… I always cleaned my own room… and I hated when she did it, but I could tell my mom had been in there, even though I'd told her plenty of times not to, cleaning in my room.

"She'd taken a few days off of work, gotten bored, and decided my room was too messy~, even though it wasn't. I was mad, but I also wanted to find out what happened, so I calmed down and asked her about it.

"I was embarrassed to bring it up to her, not liking that she saw all the stuff in the first place, but I did ask her… She'd knocked it over while dusting, and it had broken on the floor, and she'd thrown it out.

"She thought it was just some 'cheap trinket', and she was sure I could find another one. She even offered to give me ¥1,000, just so I'd stop bothering her about it…

"I went looking in the trash, but it was trash day, and it was already gone… I probably could've fixed it, whatever broke on it, but I didn't even get the chance to try that…

"I acted like it was no big deal, but… I still feel angry about it… and every time my mom goes in my room, I get furious that she might break something or throw something out because she thinks it's garbage… I don't trust her, even though she's not like that…

"But I really hate that I didn't just chew her out back then, telling her just how much that 'cheap trinket' was worth and how she didn't give a fuck about my belongings. Now, whenever she criticizes me for the little bit of 'plastic crap' I actually have… and all the OTHER stuff I have… I just wanna scream at her…"

He hadn't been paying much heed to Gamo-chan, but he realized he was breathing hard and gnashing his teeth.

And he was embarrassed for it. "I couldn't even talk to her about it… I've always been kinda scared about speaking my mind to my parents… Anytime they shut me down, I can't bring myself to say anything else, and…"

He was embarrassed, but still, he hazarded a glance to his kohai.

He could almost grab the sympathy she was giving off, it was so concrete.

"That sucks, Paisen…"

"…"

"…"

"Yeah…" he blew out. "I know it's stupid…"

"I'm sure each of us have more stupid memories… just like it…"

"Yeah…"

Gamo-chan took another pull on her straw. "…"

Naoto wondered aloud, "Why do you think we do stuff like that…?"

"Like what?" She turned her face up.

"Like that… Feeling angry about… dumb things from when we were kids…" He didn't mean to say her upset as a kid had been dumb, but holding onto it for so long…

Twiddling her thumbs, she had an answer, "I've talked about this with Mrs. Serizawa in the counselor's office… a lot… It's forgiveness, Paisen… the lack thereof…

"It's because you haven't forgiven the person… or the action… or yourself, even if things were out of your control or you just didn't know better… It's regret

"And it sorta… mixes up with your pride and a desire for satisfaction, and… you just don't wanna let it go… or you're unable to.

"Forgiveness isn't a matter of 'can't', Paisen, it never is; it's just that it can be horribly difficult…"

"…!" Naoto probably hadn't heard anything so profound from Gamo-chan, even if those weren't her own words.

Sakura had been the same way…

Naoto mused, "So, that means I have to talk to my mother… explain myself… and forgive her for something that happened when I was 14…"

"Yeah, it's not easy…" She ruffled her hair, pulling it out of her face. "It's a bad pitfall, Paisen… It can tear you apart… Don't think I don't get it."

"…"

"…"

It broke the spell…

"I'm sorry, Gamo-chan… for snapping at you like that…"

"I know, Paisen… me too… That was mean of me…"

Both were glad to be in a corner, the place too loud and crowded to care about who they were or what the two of them were doing.


Q&A Section

LisPisCringe from AO3 asks:

Do you personally have a favourite animal? Mine has always been spiders (even though I am somewhat arachnophobic, ironic right?).

ED: My favorite animal is the otter. They're super cute and playful. But just to watch. I wouldn't want one as a pet, and they're awful to deal with. They smell, make horrible poo, and are quite disgusting.


Please look forward to the next chapter! Thanks for reading!