THE FORGOTTEN
Difficult Truths
Author's Note: The chapter in which – Legolas has a long talk with Lothril's parents and Lothril decides to go mind raiding. WARNING: This chapter contains discussion/mentions of Lothril's past abuse, discussions of mental health issues by non-mental health professionals, Lothril facing her abuser, and some less than ideal and also very awkward family moments. Also a crazy protective Legolas. …So, I almost decided to completely gloss over the fact she was back in the same world as her abuser, then I decided that it had to be at least brought up. I've dithered for months and months on how I'll have her deal with it and… I dunno, I just started writing this chapter to see where the wind would take me. Also, I do not have any of the mental issues I may reference or name, so I'm taking my best guess at how some of this would look based on what I researched. Because obviously if I was going to research the heck out of medieval pants, I am totally going to research the heck out of a mentally unstable abuser character. Anyway, all that to say – I don't really know how the world is perceived by someone so afflicted. I'm just guessing despite my research.
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"Hey Jenny, I don't know if you remember, but your cousin Matilda graduates this Friday," her mom said casually as she was making dinner.
Lothril and Legolas were both in the kitchen and had been helping here and there and chatting when her mother brought that up. The way Lothril froze and stopped breathing the moment Donna said that told Legolas everything he needed to know. Lothril only froze for a moment though before collecting herself and saying, "I forgot about that."
"That is very unfortunate, for we have had little time to practice our fighting since we arrived and I was hoping to resume it this Friday," Legolas said.
"Will a day make that much of a difference?" Donna asked.
"It would be wise for us to be as prepared as we can be, especially as we do not know their number," Legolas replied.
"Hmm. Well, given that's a little more of a life and death thing, it's probably more important you practice," Donna said, sounding like she was thinking out loud. "It's a shame though. She's not throwing a graduation party and decided to take the money and put it towards her college tuition, so there won't really be another chance for you to see them before you leave."
"Oh well," Lothril said, trying to sound disappointed and not relieved. "I'm gonna go set the table."
She hastily grabbed a stack of plates and a handful of forks and practically ran into the dining room. Legolas got down glasses and followed to find the plates and forks hastily set at each place and her most of the way of the way up the spiral stairs. He hastily set down the cups at each place and followed her into her room where he found her sitting on her bed curled up in a ball with her face buried in her arms which were resting on her knees.
"I do not know how to thank you for that," she said with ósanwe.
"It was an excuse for me as much as you. I do not trust myself to be in the same place as someone who has harmed you. Especially in that manner," he answered in kind, his thoughts sounding and feeling like barely checked wrath. "Even so," he added, his thoughts suddenly taking a turn and feeling more hesitant. "I think you ought to tell them what happened. What I said was true – we do need to practice. We have been lax for a month and it would be imprudent to go out orc hunting unpracticed and cold. However, I think they need to know."
"Perhaps, but as I have been sorting through memories, I have started to doubt why I thought she did what she did," she replied. "You know I hate ascribing motive, and I only want to present the truth, and on much of this I am unsure of what it is."
"Then do not tell them why you think it happened. Only tell them the facts that you remember as you did to me and let them sort out the rest," he replied.
She shook her head, face still buried. "I do not know if I can do that."
"Melethel, they love you, and what is more – they trust you and they believe you. I do not think you have anything to fear or worry about." She shook her head again and all at once he realized the sad truth. "You do not trust them."
She burst into tears and he put an arm around her and drew her to himself. "It is an ugly truth I have been aware of for some time now. I have only stumbled onto the reason though but lately. I trusted Elrond because I realized somewhere in the back of my mind that he understood. He is peredhel. He understands all that entails and he never took me anything but seriously. Growing up, as I tried to understand the world around me, I struggled so to articulate my struggles, and when I did try, I often felt misunderstood or dismissed. Not always, but often enough. Especially as I was struggling to comprehend what was happening as I was being… hurt. I cannot blame them for not realizing the ugly truth – I certainly did not. Still, it all created a rift and one that I am not sure how to fix, or if I can in the week and a half left. But how can I not trust them when they love and trust me so? What a wretched daughter I am."
"Then you intend not to tell them?" he asked.
"More or less," she answered as she sat up a little with her head resting on his shoulder.
"For what it is worth, I do not think you a wretched daughter. I think you are a hurt one who is trying to grapple with things that are beyond my comprehension. I also think you should tell them because I think it will help you heal, but I will not say anything if you do not. I swore to you in Caras Galadhon that I would breathe no word of it to another, and I will hold true to my word," he replied.
She took a deep breath and gathered herself and sat up straight. "No, I must be fully honest with you, Legolas. Though what I said is certainly part of it, the other part is – I am a coward. I am afraid of the consequences."
"Consequences from whom? Her? For if that is your fear, I will personally see to it she is rendered helpless," Legolas replied with some heat.
"Not from her, but rather I fear what it would do to the family. It would break their hearts and likely cause a rift as it is now a few years since anything happened and I never did have any proof. I would be making an accusation I cannot prove and causing strife based solely on my word," she answered.
"Your father and mother would believe you, I have no doubt," he said confidently.
"And her mother would believe her and likely her father also. Then my grandfather and grandmother are caught in the middle and they must decide which grandchild they will believe. How can I do that to them?"
"The other question you must ask yourself is – can you keep lying to them?"
"I have not lied, but I have not spoken either. Do I have the right to potentially ruin the family?" Lothril asked.
"You already are running that risk by refusing to relinquish her to the natural consequences of her actions. No matter what course you choose, there will be consequences. The course you have chosen has consequences that include your own self-torment and could include another falling prey to her wickedness. Shall that not ruin the family also and possibly bring heartache to another?"
"You shall not believe me when I say this, but I think there very little chance of another falling prey to the same abuse as I. Possibly physical violence from her as she can be a brute at times that does not know her own strength, but not what I endured," she answered.
"I thoroughly believe you believe that, but I am highly doubtful. I have not met many thieves that have only stolen once," he replied. His melethril seemed to shrink beside him. "I know Elrond said you must work through this in your own time, but I do think on this matter you ought to speak even if you are not fully ready. If you wish it, I shall be beside you as you tell them and aid if you need be."
Just then they heard her mother call up the stairs that dinner was done. Lothril slumped as she breathed out then took a deep breath in and sat up straight and without a word, got down off the bed.
"Lothril, if you need to stay up here for a little while longer, I will go down and tell them to start without you and that you will be down presently," Legolas offered.
"A minute, an hour – it won't make a difference," she said as she got off the bed and went straight out of the room.
He followed her down the stair and they sat down at the table, Lothril looking sad and Legolas concerned. Nobody seemed to notice at first but they didn't get very far into dinner before a comment was made.
"Hey Jen, what's up with you? Got the blues?"
"I'm fine," she replied, trying not to sound terse and rearranging her face into something more pleasant.
"You know, I'd be happy to cover your chores for a few days and give you two more time to practice if you want to go to Matilda's graduation," her mom offered.
She forced a wider smile and said, "Thanks mom, but-"
"That's not fair," Julie complained. "We have to go too and we don't want to either."
"It's not that they don't want to go, it's that they need to practice fighting before they go off orc hunting," her mom explained.
"Oh! Well if they're staying home, can we?" Eddie asked.
"No, because they might be able to go if they can get in enough practice," her mom answered.
"Does she always make such assumptions?" Legolas asked Lothril aloud but in elvish.
"Frequently, and arguments contrary tend to be ignored," Lothril replied then looked at her mom and said, "Even if I didn't need to practice, I wouldn't really want to go anyway. And even practicing, I'm sure we can manage to watch Julie and Eddie. It's not like they're toddlers."
"Why wouldn't you want to go?" her mom asked.
"You know I hate these kinds of ceremonies. It's an excuse for an extra sermon with out of context verses that literally no one will remember and makes you forget why you're there in the first place. And furthermore, I haven't been particularly interested in having anything to do with her for a couple years," Lothril answered.
"She's still family," her mom said.
"Yeah, and she's also the one who half drowned me every summer, popped my shoulder out-"
"Popped your shoulder out? You're being a bit dramatic, don't you think?" her mom said, sounding dismissive.
"Remember how I've been complaining for years about my left shoulder. That's the arm she would always grab and twist. It was bothering me one day and Elrond noticed and offered to look at it for me, and he said it seemed like I had gotten a dislocated shoulder and it healed badly," she replied.
"Well why didn't you say anything?"
"I did. That's what got me my torqued arm," Lothril shot back. "Why would I risk worse injury if me telling on her got her grounded for a week and me a broken arm that would take six weeks to heal?"
"Did she break your arm?" her mom asked sarcastically.
"No, because I wasn't stupid enough to tell on her twice. Do you have any idea how much abuse like that I endured out of fear that as soon as she got a chance she'd injure me?"
"Don't be dramatic. A couple twisted arms are just a part of childhood, and certainly nothing worth disowning your cousin over."
"See? This is why I have not and cannot tell them! I try to lay things out and instead of listening to me or asking for an explanation, I am dismissed before I begin!" she said to Legolas with some heat.
"Lothril, gwog eth a dafog nin istannad an tin (Lothril, go outside and permit me to teach/give knowledge to them.)," Legolas said gently. "And I will speak of nothing you did not bring up just now."
"Do not waste your breath!" she snapped.
"Lothril! Gwo* eth! (go outside)" he said, using the same tone he would use when he was giving her orders during sparring practice.
Frustrated and angry she got up and stormed out the nearest door. No one in her family had any idea what either of them said, so it was at least quasi-understandable when her mom said, "What was that about?"
"Can you not guess?" Legolas said pointedly before following her outside.
As he went out the door he heard Julie say, "It was more than a few twisted arms mom. I looked it up in the dictionary once at school – it's assault and battery. There's been…" the door swung shut and he couldn't hear anymore.
When he didn't see her anywhere about, he suspected she headed off into the woods and so he did too. He found her in a tree near the little creek that ran into the lake and he climbed up to join her.
"I was going to say I don't appreciate being ordered around, but really as soon as I got some distance between me and the house I started to feel better," Lothril said.
He smiled as he settled down on the branch she was on with his back against the trunk again. "I am sorry if it came across harshly. I did not mean it to."
She carefully scooched back towards him and sat again with her back against his chest. "I suppose I made a fine spectacle of myself."
"Your sister defended you. As I left I heard her starting to make a case for it being assault and battery," Legolas said.
Lothril smiled. "That's my sister!"
"Does she know what happened to you?" he asked.
"No. Only you and Elrond. However, she witnessed and suffered through nearly as many near drownings, twisted arms and wrists, rough treatment, and forced makeovers as I did. I did my best to spare her some of it. I think I spared her the worst of it," Lothril answered.
"Not to change the topic, but what is a makeover?" he asked.
"Generally, a makeover is changing one's appearance. Different hair style, different make up, different clothes, and so forth. Technically speaking, I got a rather radical one my first day in Mirkwood, what with a whole new wardrobe and Estelneth doing to my hair. In context of Matilda though, it meant living through her badly applying makeup to our faces and looking dreadful. Always too much blush and eye shadow. Always," Lothril answered.
"What is makeup?" Legolas asked.
"Umm… let's describe it as colored liquids and powders designed to make women look prettier. Mom usually wears makeup, but she always does it tastefully and it looks more natural. You might have noticed her eyeshadow though. Sometimes her eyelids look different colors…"
"I have noticed that, but I could not think of how to ask about it without sounding rude," he replied.
"Yeah, that's eyeshadow," Lothril said then fell silent for a minute before saying, "Would you really have explained things to my mom?"
"Of course I would have," Legolas replied. "I would not have said so otherwise. I still will if you desire it. I think I have seen enough of your memories where I could speak authoritatively that you suffered physical harm beyond childhood rough housing from her hand without mentioning anything else."
"Would you think worse of me if I asked you to help me at least explain that part? If I can get her to believe those accusations, I might be able to work up the nerve for the rest. No promises, but I was trying so hard and she kept… well, you were there."
"I was there, and I saw you were trying. I am still convinced your parents are good folk, but I think when it comes to your mother at least, she is so self-assured, that she cannot understand self-doubt. You have had so many people undermining your self-confidence that you have trouble standing your ground on a point like that because you have been so taught to second guess yourself. In this though, you are right and I do not like her dismissive attitude. It does not matter whether or not you were seriously injured, it is that she sought to harm you at all that is the problem and the one she seems to be ignoring," he said.
"Yeah, that's because, as she put it, that's what her older cousins did to her and the other younger cousins. It builds character. Life is rough so you gotta be tough 'cause life ain't easy for a boy named Sue… or however that stupid song goes. I was hardly looking for flowery beds of ease or for her to fight my battles, but I needed to know she was behind me supporting me, not kicking me back into the fray without a sword!" she said, sounding angry and frustrated until she took a deep breath and added, "But she didn't even see the battle. She just saw childish antics and assumed because she handled it so well, there was no reason I shouldn't. Because I was smart. Because I was the good kid. Because it wouldn't kill me. Because I could handle it."
"What of your father?" Legolas asked.
"What about him?" Lothril replied.
"Would he understand?"
"I honestly don't know. I know he's in my corner, and in the past when dealing with other bullies he gave me good advice about standing up for myself, but if I am not very open with my feelings, it is because I take after him. We've never spoken much about feelings and so forth outside of 'I love you dad, I love you too Jenny' sorts of things. And he wasn't there most of the time when all that craziness was occurring. He was at work usually because it was during the day on a weekday. If he knows anything, it's only what mom has told him," Lothril answered.
"Perhaps you should try telling him; at least about how she would harm you. If this is possibly the first he's hearing about it, he may not be so quick to dismiss it," Legolas suggested.
"Maybe," she said quietly. "I have decided though – I want to go Matilda's graduation. You can stay home if you like. The ceremony will be dull beyond reason and about an hour longer than it should be."
"Let me make myself perfectly clear – I love you, it is my duty to protect you, and I will do so. Any world, any threat, any danger including her. That said, I cannot fathom why you should wish to suddenly."
Lothril leaned her head back on his shoulder and replied, "There is one thing I wish to see for myself and I cannot do so unless I am close to her."
"What is that?" he asked.
"I am somewhat convinced she is mad. There is a strain of madness in her mother's family, and if I can prove to myself she is mad, I may be able to convince my parents of it, and in turn maybe they can convince hers. I can tell them all day about what happened, but if no one else saw any signs of it, they will be just as likely as not to think I am exaggerating or up to some mischief. If I can convince them though that she's mad, then she may get the help she needs, and in the end I would rather see her helped than punished," Lothril said.
"Is she mad, or is this wishful thinking on your part?" Legolas asked pointedly.
"To be perfectly honest, I think she's – well, I think she has uncontrollable moods where her mood is either very high or very low and that she lies uncontrollably all the time and cannot help herself and even believes some of her own lies. It is the only thing really that makes sense of everything. Elrond helped me sort out what happened, but the medical dictionary in the library helped me sort out the rest. That and a few episodes of different true crime shows, but that's not the point. The point is, when I looked those things up, everything fell into place. If I can get close to her and get in her head, I think I should be able to see if I'm right. If I can convince them though that she might be those things, and that she at least has abusive tendencies, I might warn them of her, maybe get her help, and avoid breaking everyone's hearts."
"It would be easier to tell them what she did to you and be done with it," Legolas said. "And I still think she should pay for what she did."
"I'm not sure she even remembers what she did, so if she doesn't, it's just another case of her being the poor victim of lies. At least in her mind. I know this is going to sound ridiculous to you, but for as much as I will have no problem never seeing her again and burning that bridge to ashes behind me, it doesn't mean I want her spending the rest of her life struggling needlessly. I know what she did to me. I understand it now. It was horrible, but I have no proof and so even if everyone believed me, I don't think there is a jury in the world that would convict her without a shred of evidence, so she would just as likely as not walk away free unless she pleaded guilty. I'm not here for years to sit around in court. I'm here for weeks to kill orcs and then go back, and I would prefer not to leave chaos behind me. The truth out at once might be easier, but messier for everyone else and much harder to prove. If I can prove she's manipulative and abusive in her behavior and then prove to my parents she's bipolar and a pathological liar, then… well, then maybe they can convince her to get the help she needs after I'm gone and maybe I can work up the courage to at least leave a letter for my parents explaining everything," she said.
"Even though you don't trust them?" Legolas asked.
"I do… until mom pulls what she did at dinner just now. But even mom agrees my aunt is a little bipolar sometimes, so that's why I think that route might be the easier one to come at this by instead of trying to argue I was hurt in the first place. Clearly that didn't work, but she might start believing I'm not just exaggerating or being dramatic if she's at least somewhat convinced Matilda is mad," Lothril answered.
"It is grievous to me that you feel it necessary to do all this just to convince your own mother you were hurt," Legolas said, sounding very disapproving.
"Yeah well… I appreciate her wanting us to be strong and handle things, but I really could have used a little more help than what I got."
"Again, I think she is so self-assured and self-aware that she does not understand needing to take time to work through things more slowly. You need time to work through things. Sometimes you can work through things swiftly, other times it takes a while. I saw it with our training together, I saw it with our discussions about our customs, and I see it now as you are still working through your past. It still bothers me though that she will dismiss her own daughter out of hand like that," he said. "Lothril, if you will, stay outside until I come fetch you. You need to be out under bough for a while. Put all these thoughts out of your mind for a time and rest or wander as you will, but stay outdoors until I fetch you, please. Will you do that for me?"
Lothril's brows knit together and she replied, "I will, but why? And where are you going?"
"You need to be at peace for a while and it is best found for us beneath bough and under star. At least here. As for where I am going, I am sure you will either guess it or fret over it, so I shall tell you I am going in to have a discussion with your father and mother and you need not fret over it. I shall not tell them any more than you have, but mostly I am going to discuss with them why they think it appropriate to dismiss their children when they come to them. For the sake of your sister and brother, something must be said and they will dismiss you. They will not dismiss me."
"Legolas," she began to protest until he kissed her cheek.
"Melethril, you need not worry. I can be diplomatic and forceful at the same time. This is clearly an issue that needs to be addressed, your mother at any rate will not listen to you, and I have come to love your sister and brother as my own and I would see better done by them," Legolas said. "Let me do this thing."
"Oh, alright. Good luck."
Legolas climbed down out of the tree and headed back inside where dinner was mostly finished.
"Where's Jenny?" her dad asked.
"She is outside still and at my request. I want to have a word with you both," Legolas said with a serious tone to his voice. He turned to the younger siblings and asked, "Are you finished?"
"We can be," Julie said. "Come on, Eddie."
"Your sister is outside in the woods. If you go out and call for her, she will come to you," Legolas said in a much gentler voice.
Julie nodded, and as she passed Legolas to head towards the kitchen she looked at him, darted her eyes sideways back towards her parents and then rolled them and mouthed, 'thank you'. Apparently dinner had been awkward after they left, and he decided he would apologize to them later for it.
Meanwhile, Julie and Eddie headed outside and decided to jump on the trampoline for a while, and then they got off and decided to go see if they could find Lothril.
"Do you suppose she's by Frog Pond or the lake or the creek?" Eddie asked.
"I dunno. Let's check Frog Pond first then we'll go down the creek towards the lake and see if we run into her," Julie said.
Eddie agreed and off they went. It was a nice evening and warm enough that neither were regretting too seriously not grabbing a jacket on the way out. Eddie definitely wasn't, Julie only sorta wasn't. She reckoned in a little bit she'd start to get chilly though. As they walked on, a breeze picked up and Julie decided she was chill after all and therefore a bit cranky so she said, "Hey Jenny! Where are you?! Your Majesty told us you'd come if we called."
"I'm up here," she called down as she stood on the branch she had been sitting on and then quickly jumped down a few branches until she at last jumped to the ground. "Why do you call him that?"
"Same reason we call you Sparky," Eddie replied.
She shook her head and sighed and asked, "What's up?"
"Nothing, but Legolas came in looking like Prince Serious-pants and told us you were outside and we should call for you if we wanted," Julie answered. "So we did. And now I'm cold."
"He did? Hmm… Well, we could go back and light a fire," Lothril said.
"Okay, but I still want a hoodie," Julie said.
"I think you left one in the mini-van," Eddie said.
"Oh yeeeaaaahh, I probably did," Julie said with a smile.
"Still want a bonfire?" Lothril asked.
"Sure," they both said at the same time.
They headed back towards the house, Julie grabbed a hoodie out of the mini-van, and then they went over to the fire pit where Lothril showed them how she could light a fire without matches, which they thought was pretty dang cool. They were out there for a while and had thrown logs on two or three times before Legolas came out.
"What did you say?" Lothril asked.
"I told them my thoughts," he answered.
"And what did they say?" she asked, sounding like she was dreading the answer.
"They admitted in a very round about way that they might have been wrong to dismiss you so quickly and that they did not realize you were not dealing with your feelings but were suppressing them and ignoring them. They actually seemed quite shocked at that revelation. Obviously humans are not so attuned to others as elves are," he replied
"Decidedly not," Lothril agreed.
"In English, please," Eddie said.
"Your father and mother should not be so quick to dismiss you henceforth and they will try to understand you better instead of assuming things like they did earlier. And as far as your cousin is concerned, your mother and father both agree you needn't have anything to do with her again if you do not wish it. However, I am afraid I have put you in a position where you shall one more time, for your sister has decided she will go to her graduation to see if what she thinks about your cousin is true, and because she is going, I am going also," Legolas answered.
"Gee, thanks Legolas," Eddie said. "Do you have any idea how long and boring this is gonna be?!"
"To make up for you having to come with us, I will get you ice cream after, and I will teach you a game I used to play during official functions with all the lords," Legolas said.
"What game? Dots and lines? Hangman?" Eddie asked.
"I do not know what those games are, or at least not by those names. Rather, one makes bird calls intermittently and watch as everyone tries to find the bird without interrupting proceedings. Can you whistle?"
"Not very well," Eddie answered.
"Me neither," Julie added.
"A pity, but we can still play," Legolas said as he sat down in one of the chairs that were around the fire. He looked over at Lothril and said with ósanwe, "If you wish to go speak with your father and mother now about what happened to you, now might be a good time to do so. I know what you said your plan is, but at the very least I think you could tell them now of your suspicions of what is wrong with her and then perhaps what happened. If you like, I will still go with you."
"I do not know what all I will tell them, but I will go talk to them."
With that she stood and went into the house as Legolas began trying to teach her siblings how to make bird calls. Lothril found her parents still in the dining room talking and when they saw her walk in they gave an apology. They talked for a while and Lothril told them much of what she and her siblings had put up with, and even one or two of the incidents that led up to what could viably be considered her first serious encounter with coercion and abuse, but no further. She even included what she thought was wrong with Matilda and that she wanted to go to the graduation to get in her head and see if she was correct. Being able to lay things out more clearly, her parents at least agreed that her behavior was indeed more than regular childish antics and they agreed that they would talk to her and her parents about getting into therapy. Not one of them thought it would be an easy sell, but they promised they would try. She didn't however, bring up everything. She almost did but… she couldn't bring herself to it. She just couldn't.
That night after everyone went to bed Lothril found herself in Legolas' room, the two of them sitting next to each other on his bed with his arm around her and reading George MacDonald fairy tales together. They turned the page and finished the second one in the book then Legolas asked, "Did you tell them?"
"I got close. I… I did manage to detail everything leading it up to it and they agreed that was definitely not childish antics and they seemed rather unhappy about the whole thing, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them everything," she said, looking down at the book still.
He kissed her temple and said, "It might be for the best today. How did they seem when you went inside?"
"They were talking and looked a bit serious. Why?"
He hesitated then answered, "I think I said a few things they did not enjoy hearing."
"Legolas-"
"I promise I was gentle and I spoke out of love and I think they saw that, but that does not mean that it was easy to hear," he replied.
"I know that well enough," she said, half to herself. "They weren't mad at you were they?"
"I think they were a little upset at me at first for daring to speak, and I did feel compelled to remind them that though I have never been a parent, I am over five thousand years old and I have seen the consequences of more than a few actions borne to fruition and span generations. However, before it ended I did tell them that I do respect them a good deal because I can see they are good people still, and I do love them. I wish very greatly they would change their minds and return with us, but I think they are too set here, which is a pity because I think your sister and brother would thrive in our kingdom," he replied.
"Yeah, Jules could apprentice with Brenion and Eddie would find something, I'm sure. Dad would be a fabulous tinker, and mom could join the minstrels. Ah well," Lothril said with a sigh. "It's a fun daydream anyway."
"It is," he agreed. "Lothril, is there anything I ought to know about graduation ceremonies outside of them being long and dull?"
"That's about all there is to know," she said. "Though I will say, her school and church are stricter than mine and… Oh, heck with it! I don't like either very much at all. My grandparents go there too and I have visited a few times and I find they are long are preaching and short on theology. Lots of yelling and carrying on and very little substance. And their new preacher… let's just say, I cannot imagine him being someone anyone we know in Middle-earth would befriend. I have met him a couple times and I find him very insincere, patronizing, and he always put me on guard. My grandparents do not care for him either, but there are few options of good churches in the area because it is more rural, so they are a bit stuck."
"How would such a person become a pastor?" he asked.
"Beats me. In any event though, I do not care for him and I have little hopes that it shall be a pleasant evening. Also, your long hair will certainly draw disapproving looks and remarks, but as I have little concern, care, or anything else for what those people think, I have half a mind to tell you to wear your elvish robes and jewels just to set them all off like one of Gandalf's fireworks, but I won't for my grandmother's sake," she said.
"Should I cut my hair before we go?"
"Absolutely not!" she snapped.
"I take it then you like my long hair," he teasingly said.
"Yes I do. I also do not care much for legalistic judgemental busybodies and I am getting quite sick and tired of them."
"You needn't be so upset, meletheril. We leave soon for our mission and then we are rid of them for good. Besides, I do not care at all one way or the other how any of them think of me. I do not live here and the rude opinions of a few mortals is nothing I have ever lost sleep over," he replied, sounding perfectly at ease.
"It just bothers me."
"Do not let yourself be troubled by the fleeting opinions of Men. Your family thinks of well of me, and that is all that matters." He leaned down and kissed her. "Do you feel better now?"
"A little."
"A little? That shall not do," he said as he turned a little more and pulled her closer to himself. "Better?"
"If I say yes, will I still get kisses?" she asked flirtatiously.
"As many as you want," he grinned.
Finals week was a bit of a frustrating joke in a lot of ways. Classes that had finals at the beginning of the week, still had class the rest of the week, which was infinitely frustrating for everyone because who wants to actually focus on class after one is done is finals? Despite official policy, most of the classes once done with finals turned into free hours that were either used as study halls or else the teacher would have some sort of game they'd play like Jeopardy, so it was quasi educational while mostly just fun. Legolas had half a mind to drop in that week, but Donna told him that really wasn't allowed. He distinctly disliked being told he wasn't allowed to go somewhere his betrothed was, but… it was what it was. They were almost done with this nuisance forever.
In the evenings, they started practicing knife fighting and after an hour or so, they would stop and let Julie and Eddie have a go at it with their newly carved wooden knives, and then they'd resume practice in earnest. Legolas decided to capitalize on the presence of her siblings by having them throw pinecones at them as they fought. He told them to throw some directly at them and some of them intentionally wide so they had to make split decisions on which to strike down, which to avoid, and which posed no threat. They seemed to enjoy this immensely and seemed to take great pleasure in chucking them at their sister's head. To their chagrin though, none of them reached their mark.
The week went by, Lothril took all her finals and felt relatively confident she at least passed, and with each test taken a growing thought of 'goodbye and good riddance!' Thursday was the last day of classes and Friday was a half day rehearsal day for the senior graduation on Saturday (and the girls were allowed to wear khaki pants! A rarity!). Before Lothril could even ask, her parents told her they didn't care how required graduation was, she could skip it if she wished. Call it juvenile, call it silly, but as someone who always went to everything at school or church because she had to (unless she was sick of course, but that only ever seemed to happen the day of the class Christmas party and last until Christmas Day), the very idea of skipping something was almost as impossible as the notion of traveling to Middle-earth had been before Legolas showed up. But May was a month of miracles it seemed.
Friday came, Lothril went to school that morning and Legolas joined her out of sheer curiosity so he could watch the rehearsal, and after the song, the speech, the senior class walking up and down, and everything else had been done to death and everyone knew they couldn't possibly practice everything again for fear of revolt, the students who drove themselves were allowed to leave and everyone else was dismissed to the playground where the swings were immediately filled up and a soccer ball produced so those who weren't on the swings stood around kicking the ball back and forth. Legolas and Lothril though immediately headed to the monkey bars and quickly climbed up and sat on the top, square in the middle, facing each other.
"So tell me, Jennifer firiel, did you spend much time on this as a child?" Legolas asked with a teasing grin.
"I could never make it across without falling," she admitted. "I spent more time on the parallel bars down there," she added, pointing down and behind her.
"Aaah. And what did you do on those?" he asked.
"Oh, I flipped about this way and that on them. I would show you, but I'm far too tall now."
He looked playfully disappointed and said, "That is a pity. I would have loved to see it."
"I'm sure if I put my mind to it, I could think of a few ways to show off on here, but there's really not much of a point," she said.
"We were told we have an hour until we can leave. It would be a way to enjoyably spend an hour," he argued. "Or we could walk back. Your mother is here to grant permission for it."
"We could, but it's a nice day and the sun is shining and I am already skipping graduation, so I will stay an hour more," she replied.
"If you so wish. Do you then intend to just sit here for an hour?" he asked.
"I suppose so. I guess we could see about getting a game of some kind together or go kick the ball around," she said.
"Perhaps, however I think I would not be very welcome by your male classmates. I think they are all upset with me still for stealing your heart. But now that we are here, I have questions. Like what sorts of games did you play out here?" he asked.
"Well, there's a game that's usually played indoors that we call 'the floor is lava' and the goal is to get around the room without stepping on the carpet. Before there were woodchips on the playground, it was all grass and dirt and after wet weather we would play it but with the mud puddles. After we got the woodchips, we made a rule you could only take one or two steps before you had to jump onto something else. We would play between the parallel bars, this, and those giant tires over there," she said.
"We played a game like that," he said with a grin. "But we called it 'cross the river' and either played it by a little stream that was nearby or pretended like the forest was flooded and we had to get around without touching the ground. We could play it here though, and quite well. And we could have quite a bit of fun with it if we included the swing sets and trees."
"We could," she said, eyeing the playground. "That would be very fun… but that would give us away. We can't do that."
"Oh, you are probably right," he said sounding mildly disappointed. "I would say we should play it when we get back to your parent's house, but Jules and Eddie would want to play and they would be at a horrible disadvantage in your yard."
"You know, I bet if we grabbed another ball, we could get all the girls to join us in doing something," Lothril said with a teasing grin.
"Undoubtedly, but I thought you would rather spend time with your friends than me. We shall be together for a very long time, you know," he replied.
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "No, I wouldn't, to be perfectly honest with you. We hung out last Friday, I've spent time with them all week… I want to start looking forward, not back. Matilda's graduation tonight, next week with my family, next weekend up north orc hunting, then…" she trailed off.
"Milbar**," he said.
She got a melancholy little smile. "Yeah, milbar."
A couple of the girls jumped off the swings and decided to sit on the parallel bars for a while, which Legolas just so happened to be facing. "Do not look now, but your firiel classmates have decided to move behind you. They keep stealing glances my way."
She paused a moment and listened and could juuuust hear them going on about how hot he was and how lucky she was. She couldn't help but smile a little. "Do not take this the wrong way, but I do hope they forget about you quickly once we are gone."
He laughed, "I hope the same and I am sure they will as soon as they find someone to wed."
The gym teacher who had gone outside to vaguely monitor the students blew his whistle and yelled, "School's OUT!"
Everyone immediately began cheering and began to head back inside to get their things and leave. "Finally!" Legolas said and leaned forward and gave her a kiss.
A chorus of "OoOoOooOoh!" broke out from her classmates that hadn't made it very far. Lothril blushed and Legolas only smiled.
"Shall we go?" he asked with a grin.
"Yes please!" she said enthusiastically.
With that he stood up and gracefully flipped off the bars. Lothril called him a show off before she leaned backwards holding onto the bar with her hands and back flipped off. Arm in arm they walked back towards the parking lot where they waited outside of the mini-van. She hadn't bothered to bring anything to school that day, so there was no reason to go in.
Everyone else came out quickly, piled in and drove home. After lunch, the elves spent about an hour sparring before washing up and then the pair of them with their hair wet in Legolas' room, Lothril sitting cross legged on his bed and they discussing what he ought to wear.
"I've never seen my uncle in a suit and dad tries not to wear one whenever he can, so I reckon you could probably get away with not wearing one too," she said.
"Perhaps, but what if I wished to wear one?"
"Then you can, though I can't imagine why you would. If I had a pair of dress slacks I'd probably wear them just to annoy people, but as it is, I'll be in a skirt."
"You are in a very contrary mood about this," he observed.
"Yeah, I know," she said then took a deep breath and added, "For as backwards as this may seem, whatever you wear, I'll match you. So if you decide to wear a suit, I'll go more formal too. If you decide to wear jeans and a polo, I'll go more casual. I'm sure most people there will be in more or less Sunday clothes."
"I think then the suit. I have not had a chance to wear one and I am guessing by your reaction a few weeks ago, I look rather well in one."
"You most certainly do," she replied.
"Then I shall wear a suit, have what your grandmother called long hippie hair, and see how confused she gets," Legolas said with a grin. "Do you know how to tie a tie?"
"Not really. A couple summers ago on a trip to camp a bunch of us girls bought some cheap ties and tried to learn how to tie them, but I can't remember. I know Dad does though."
"How long until we leave?" he asked.
"For some reason they have it starting at six, so we'll leave here about four because it's pretty far away," she answered.
"Then I we ought to get ready now," he said.
She glanced at the alarm clock. "So we should." She hopped off the bed, kissed him, then went to go change. Well, if Prince Legolas was going to torture and distract her by wearing a suit, she would seek to do the same. But with what? She stood looking into her closet, hands on hips and foot tapping trying to decide if there was anything in her wardrobe that fit the bill. He had said more than once he thought all her clothes here plain and dull… after a few minutes of dithering she gave up and just grabbed her little black dress. It was one of those multi-way convertible dresses that one can make look like half a dozen different dresses altogether before adding accessories. Today she kept it simple and opted for a V neck with fluttery little sleeves and crossed back. It was easy and would make everyone happy as long as no one minded just how low that V neck was… She almost wore her pearls with it and went so far as to put them on before she changed her mind, took them off, and pulled out her elven pack and pulled out the ring the twins had given her to wear. The only other jewelry she brought with her from there was the circlet Thranduil had given her and her betrothal ring which she wore always. She quickly returned to her jewelry box and opened the side door and pulled out a short necklace with a chain of flowers made of some white stones, she was sure was cubic zirconia, but the chain was silver sure enough. Goodness knows she had polished it enough times. She put it on, briefly lamented the fact that she really couldn't wear the circlet Thranduil had given her despite the fact it would look really nice with everything else, then she brushed her hair but let it hang loose, slid on a pair of black ballet flats she found tolerably comfortable still, and grabbed her purse as she left her room.
Legolas' room was empty so she went downstairs to find Legolas and her father in the living room, her dad wearing two ties and tying the second one for Legolas who was making that grey suit look better than it had a right to look. His hair was down, neatly brushed but unbraided at all, a relaxed smile graced his face, and it was all she could do to keep from popping open that top button and sliding her hands down his chest and…
"You know, I really think a tie would look too stuffy on him," Lothril said.
"I dunno about that," her dad said as he finished and popped the silver tie with a leafy pattern woven into it over his head.
"If naught else, I wish to see myself in the complete outfit at least once," Legolas said as he pulled the tie loop over his head and began trying to get it into place.
"There's a full length mirror in front of the bathroom in that little room behind the door if you want to see yourself," her dad said.
"What is that room called anyway?" Legolas asked as Ed helped him tighten the tie up.
"I dunno. Everyone's always called it the little room in front of the bathroom. Though I guess it's technically a powder room or something," Ed answered.
Legolas couldn't help but smile. There seemed to be all kinds of little quirky things and oddities like that around here and he found them all charming. Once he seemed to be set, he went into the odd little room, flicked on the light, shut the door and took a good look at himself. For strange mortal fashion, he thought he pulled it off well, though he did sort of see what Lothril meant when she said stuffy on him. He reckoned it was due to the fact he had long hair and pointed ears. He opened the door, called for Lothril and asked, "What do you think? With or without the tie?"
"Without the tie. And undo the top button after you take it off," she answered.
He loosened the tie, took it off and handed it to her, and undid the top button and looked in the mirror again. "I suppose that does look better. It certainly feels less constricting. How do men tolerate shirts like this around their throats all the time?"
"Beats me," Lothril said.
"You look very nice, by the way. Where have you been hiding that dress?" Legolas said with an appreciative grin.
"In the back of my closet."
"And I see you are wearing white gems and Elrond's star," he added.
"I would have worn the circlet too but I really couldn't get away with it for a graduation. As it is, I'm probably over dressed," she replied.
"Perhaps, but I like it."
Not fifteen minutes later, everyone was piling into the mini-van, Jules and Eddie in the middle row and in an ill humor for having to go at all when they almost got out of it, Ed and Donna unusually quiet in the front seat as they were still coming to terms with what Lothril had told them, and Lothril and Legolas in the very back, audibly silent, but talking with ósanwe.
Nearly an hour and a half later they arrived at the church and school the other half of Lothril's family attended to see the parking lot filling up with cars and people making their way inside. All the women were in skirts, most in nylons and heels also with hair and makeup done, most of the men were in suits or at the very least dress slacks and a button up shirt, and all the children were dressed up and looking like they'd rather be on the playground behind them than in their church clothes on a Friday night watching a graduation. At least Julie and Eddie wouldn't be wanting for company in their misery. They parked the car and as they got out, Lothril scanned the parking lot looking for family cars she recognized. Yup. All here.
As they walked inside, Lothril grabbed Legolas arm and held onto it like it was a lifeline. She had gotten so close to avoiding this moment… so close… Fortunately, it seemed the graduates were all entering through a side door and being sequestered in a Sunday School room until the ceremony began. Good. As soon as they got in the doors, Lothril smiled and looked up at Legolas and said, "Go sit with my parents, I'll be right there."
He gave her a disapproving look which she ignored as she headed towards the bathrooms. She checked her hair and dress in the mirror then began to sing quietly and sneaked out of the bathroom. No one seemed to notice her as she wove her way across the vestibule towards where she reckoned they were keeping the graduates. Her memory served her well and she was able to sneak over to the doorway without being seen. She quickly scanned the sea of blue gowns and mortarboards until she found Matilda who was half turned talking to someone next to her. She quickly ducked back around the corner of the doorway and into the shadow under the stairs that led up into the sanctuary. She closed her eyes and felt for Matilda with her mind and once she was sure she found it, she opened her eyes and pretended to be very interested in the table of flyers and pamphlets that was nearby as she began searching through her mind. The other girl she was talking to was very gabby and Matilda had zoned out (and Lothril didn't blame her, she would have too with how this girl was carrying on about proper methods of creating curly Q's on soft serve), so Lothril took this as the first opportunity to start rifling through her memories. She worked backwards and she quickly noticed a pattern forming with how her thoughts and memories looked, but waited until she reached Christmas this past year to see if she was right. She was. She remembered Christmas pretty clearly and parts of it went how she remembered it and parts of it didn't. Not just a matter of opinion, but sheer fact that nobody sang. Nobody sat around singing to Elvis' Christmas album. And that false memory looked and felt odd to her compared to the memories of opening presents.
Now that she had a baseline idea of what was what, she would wait until the long dull sermon disguised as a commencement speech to really begin digging in deep. She set down the brochure she had been looking at, which she just now realized was for a junior summer camp, and hurried up the stairs and found her family sitting with her grandparents about a quarter of the way back in their usual seat, with her uncle and aunt and her other cousin sitting in front of them with a video camera in hand. Well, would be sitting. At the moment everyone was standing and talking and Legolas looked like he was being Prince Diplomat. He saw her and sent her a thought.
"You did not go to speak with her without me, did you?"
"Certainly not. I just went outside the room they are in so I could find her mind more easily when they get up here. I also did a little preliminary snooping and I know now at least a little, how to decipher her thoughts," she replied.
She came up the far aisle and cut in as Legolas was on the outside edge, and as soon as she was close, he held out his hand to her which she took, and he pulled her to his side. There was naught but casual conversation to be had and a couple comments about how everyone was glad to meet Avery after hearing about him through Donna and Lothril's grandmother. Her aunt did tease Legolas a bit about his long hair, but then kept saying it was just fine, very pretty, and he could do whatever he liked because it's a free country. Even if Lothril and the rest of her family hadn't warned him about how she could be, he would have figured it out rather quickly that there was something not quite normal about her. Her uncle seemed perfectly normal though, so yes, clearly whatever madness was afflicting her cousin had to have come from outside the blood relatives.
The chatted for a little while and there was some discussion of going out to eat afterwards, and then music started playing. Everyone began hurrying to their seats and sat down and the auditorium grew quiet. In their row it was only Lothril's family and her grandparents. Lothril sat on the outside edge, telling Legolas mentally that if she needed to leave for whatever reason, she didn't want to have to crawl over people. As soon as ceremony began, Lothril used the opening prayer as a chance to close her eyes and focus in on Matilda's mind and begin rifling through her memories.
Legolas watched her surreptitiously the whole time while holding her hand. No one had pointed out which one was Matilda, so he really couldn't be sure which one was her. Even when she walked by and her father's camera followed, he could really only narrow it down to three or four girls with how they had the graduates walking in formation. For a little while Legolas half wished he could ask Lothril some questions, like why this so strongly resembled a church service. The opening prayer made some sense as far as it went, but why did they sing two hymns? Why were there two choral songs, only one of which seemed to have any bearing on why they were there, and why was there a soloist for a third song? Having one of the graduates make a speech made some sense, he supposed. He might not know what a valedictorian was, but judging by the comments and applause made at her introduction it seemed to be something of an accomplishment. Not a particularly noteworthy speech, but in his experience, most speeches weren't.
He supposed at that point things might move along a little, but then the pastor stood up and gave a long winded introduction to the actual speaker who, as soon as he began to speak, made it fairly obvious he intended to give a full forty-five minute sermon. Legolas glanced at Lothril who was still very focused on her task and face looked blank, then he glanced over at Jules and Eddie who looked glazed over and ready to die. Legolas had taken their complaints about how long and boring this promised to be very seriously as they had grown up with this stuff and seemed to be rather well aware for children of their age, and so produced a small sketch pad from his coat pocket and a pen. He let go of Lothril's hand and began to make quick silly sketches of things like mallard wearing a cloak and then a horse wearing Gandalf's hat. The younger siblings snickered quietly then Julie reached for the pad and pen which he handed over to her and she made a quick rough drawing of a sheep wearing a sweater. This game went on until Mrs. Erickson shot her kids a warning look for them being too loud, so Legolas quietly took the pad and pen back and for all of two minutes paid attention. The man had said three quick things to remember… it had been fifteen minutes… he was still on point one.
He looked around the room. Most everyone was either staring with glazed over expressions, or preoccupied with something in their laps. He reckoned more than one person was drawing pictures. He gave the faintest shake of his head and then covered his mouth as if covering a yawn and made a very quiet bird call. Reflexively a few people turned their attention to the windows only to remember they were stained glass and there was nothing to be seen except the fact it was darker out. Jules and Eddie though looked at Legolas whose face betrayed nothing until he winked and covered his mouth again, this time throwing his voice so it sounded like the bird was out in the entryway. This of course was a little louder which meant more people near the auditorium entrance were sneaking peeks out the doors. Through the windows on the doors Legolas could see an usher looking around.
The goal with this game was to see how much it would take before the person droning on could no longer ignore the supposed bird and start noticeably looking for it. If the game went particularly well, there would be guards, or in this case, ushers, visibly looking around for the bird and the speaker making a comment about it. He had explained this much to Jules and Eddie earlier, so they were looking around for reactions. He let it go for a minute or two before changing it up to a different bird. He gave it a few minutes rest then started in with a pair of birds calling back and forth and making it sound like they were on opposite ends of the auditorium but no one could quite tell if they were inside or out. The timing of the calls kept varying based on how off track Legolas felt the speaker was getting from the point. When the speaker moved on to point two, all was quiet for a few minutes before the point was well made and he started telling a pointless story again. Now there was most definitely a song bird in the baptismal. Or so it sounded.
The speaker actually paused and said, "Brother Jones, would you mind making sure there isn't some poor bird trapped in the baptistery? If there is, tell him he's forgiven and we Baptists only dunk once." This drew a polite chuckle from the crowd as the school principal quickly ducked into a side door to check the baptistery. Legolas let this scene play out without interruption for a few minutes, because suddenly behind the speaker it could be seen and heard that the principal was walking half crouched down into the baptistery and across it, his bald head and back bobbing up over the ledge. The room grew pretty tense as everyone was trying desperately not to laugh at the scene, and a few snorted laughs were heard. As soon as it was clear the principal had left the baptistery, Legolas gave a very soft bird call that bounced off the ceiling and everyone began looking up at the chandeliers seeing if they could spot a song bird.
The speaker this time said, "I guess I better hurry so we can open up the doors and let this poor bird out." To his credit and everyone's relief and surprise, he actually did. Of course the pastor of the church got up after that and felt compelled to also give a sermon instead of just introducing the principal like he was supposed to, but before he could get too far, another bird made its audible debut that night, and to sounds of a rather annoyed blue jay, the pastor gave up and introduced the principal.
Julie and Eddie were nearly beside themselves with stifled laughter, as were a few of the adults and children around the room. The principal looked mildly annoyed when he stood up, but by the time he reached the platform, he had a smile plastered on his face and he began the formal introduction to the actual commencement exercises. The further that went along, the more confused Legolas became as to why the rest of the evening went how it did. Yes, this had very much been an excuse to cram in another church service. Never mind the graduates! Legolas was borderline vexed on their behalf, but as they began calling names for graduates to receive their diplomas, they all looked so happy that he supposed they either didn't mind or they figured after this they could leave and never come back. About the third name in, Lothril sighed and half slumped onto Legolas' arm.
"Do you need to leave?" he whispered in elvish.
It took a moment for her to answer and when she did, it was a small nod. All eyes were up front, so it largely went unnoticed by her family when they got up and left, Legolas supporting her with an arm around her waist. The ushers were all preoccupied looking for the mystery birds, so they left the church and headed outside without any of them noticing. As soon as they were outside Legolas immediately scooped her up in his arms and took her directly over to the far side of the parking lot where there was grass and a young maple tree. He sat down with her on the far side of it and held her.
"What happened?"
"I looked in her mind and I saw what I expected to see, I suppose. Or what I ought to have expected. She has loads of false memories and skewed memories and they're all mixed together. She remembers rightly parts of what she did, but other things she has forgotten altogether and some of it – I don't think she even knows if it is something that actually happened or that she just dreamed about. Human dreams are not like elvish ones, you know. They can be very vivid, but we do not always have control over them. There were many things in her head that could have just as easily been a vivid dream as reality and as they involve things I know nothing about, I have little means to distinguish between them. Things I have witnessed or remember myself I can tell the difference, but it is hard with things I have no idea about. Either way though, her mind is a greater tangle than a thicket. I am exhausted from sifting through it," she answered then burst into tears.
He didn't need to ask what was wrong, her explanation said it all. He couldn't begin to imagine how strange and confusing it must be to realize her attacker may just think it was all something that happened in her head as reality. It was confusing and strange enough for him. He had spent these last months nearly wrathful every time he thought about this person and what she did to his beloved and now… it didn't change what she did, but it changed what she thinks she did and somehow… he couldn't be as wrathful anymore. More on guard, but less wrathful. She now seemed to him to be more of an unpredictable threat, not a constant one, and simultaneously more and less dangerous than before. He started to understand the very mixed and contradictory feelings Lothril had shown towards her. He was starting to think Lothril's feelings towards her cousin were reflective of which version of her cousin you were talking about. Regardless though, He trusted Matilda about as far as Frodo could throw her and he decided that before they left, he and Lothril definitely needed to sit down with Lothril's parents again and tell them this. He was sure after hearing this they would do everything they could to keep their younger children away from her and try to seek help for her. He still hoped Lothril would tell them everything and wished in vain Matilda could be restrained until such time as a cure could be effected, but… he was not prince here and they were leaving next week to go hunt orcs.
Because it was evening and dusk was settling in, nobody noticed them sitting in the shade of the tree and because things were actually happening on stage that were interesting and pertinent, nobody except Julie and Eddie noticed they had left until the ceremony ended and her parents looked around.
"Where's Jenny and Avery?" her mom asked.
"They sneaked out already," Jules said.
"Oh, okay," her mom said with a half shrug.
As the graduates started lining up outside in something like a receiving line, Lothril pulled herself together and said, "Want to meet her?"
"Are you sure you wish to face her again?"
"I have to either way if we eat together. And she has no idea I was rifling through her head. I'm sure it all came across as just a bunch of memories if she even noticed at all. She probably thinks she was having a sentimental journey while the man spoke," Lothril replied.
"I nearly forgot about our plans. I suppose it best we go introduce me now," Legolas said.
They skirted along the edge of the parking lot and slipped into the line of people coming out without being much noticed. Most people seemed to only be talking to the graduates they knew and giving naught but polite smiles and nods to those they didn't, which meant that they basically just smiled at everyone except Matilda. She was a few inches shorter than Lothril, but would have been an inch or two taller than Jennifer when he first met her. She had short hair that only reached just past her chin as it was curled under. Legolas had never seen hair that color before and realized it had to have been dyed because it certainly wasn't a natural color. Or at least the blonde streaks in it weren't. If those blonde streaks were natural to her hair, he was a dwarf. She definitely had the sturdier build that seemed to be natural to that side of the family verses the taller and thinner build that seemed to be pervasive on Lothril's father's side.
"Jenny!" Matilda cried with a big smile, "I'm so glad you guys could make it down for this!"
"Yeah…" Lothril said noncommittally with a polite smile. Matilda didn't seem to notice the non answer because she continued on without so much as batting an eye.
"Who's this with you? Is this Avery I've been hearing about?" she asked with a teasing smile.
"It is. Matilda, this is Avery, Avery, this is my cousin Matilda," Lothril said.
"Nice to meet you," Matilda said and extended her hand. "You sure got yourself a hottie! How'd you manage that?" she said teasingly to Lothril.
They both stared at her a moment before Lothril finally said sarcastically, "I jumped out a window and landed in his arms. You should try it sometime."
Matilda just laughed and Legolas found something in the tone of it unsettling. She went to slap Lothril on the back, but Legolas blocked her hand and said with a warning voice, "I will thank you not to do that again."
"Oh it's fine! I'm her cousin! We've always played around like that," Matilda said dismissively.
"We're holding up the line," Lothril said. "We should keep moving."
Legolas took Lothril's arm and they moved along and stood off to the side where they could see the rest of her family came out.
"I apologize for her rudeness," Lothril said in elvish.
"You need not apologize. She was rude, not you. How in that brief exchange she managed to insult you and then nearly hurt you is astounding to me. Would she truly hit you on the back like that growing up?" Legolas asked.
"Frequently, and it always hurt a little," Lothril replied, sounding annoyed.
"If your family does decide to go eat with her, you and your sister and brother are sitting as far away from her as possible," Legolas said definitively.
"Well, we shall see," Lothril said.
Her family came out and Julie and Eddie immediately peeled off from everyone else and made their way over to Legolas and Lothril.
"So did you meet Matilda?" Eddie asked.
"I did," Legolas said, sounding surprisingly neutral.
"I see you like her about as much as I do," Julie said flatly.
"Possibly less," Legolas admitted.
"No, I'm not sure that's possible," Jules said sounding pretty unhappy.
"Has she harmed you?" Legolas asked, sounding quite serious.
"Beyond assault and battery? I dunno, is someone forcing you to be their personal makeup mannequin count?" Jules asked, sarcasm creeping into her voice.
"I would count it," Legolas said.
"Then yeah."
"If we eat with them this evening, I want you both as far away from her as possible and me between you and her, is that understood?" Legolas said.
"Not a problem," Jules said.
"No arguments here," Eddie added.
A couple minutes later, the whole family, including Matilda, was standing over by Legolas and Lothril discussing plans, Legolas making very sure Matilda was nowhere near Lothril or her siblings.
"Oh, you guys are going out? I didn't know and a bunch of us were making plans to go out and get ice cream then go bowling," Matilda said.
"Then you guys should go out. We can always do something together later," her grandmother said.
Everyone else seemed to agree, so instead of everyone going out together, it was down to just Lothril's immediate family and her grandparents, which suited Legolas just fine. He liked them quite a bit and thought them very kind and generous people. For a moment it looked like they were all going to go their own way until Legolas casually dropped that he and Jenny were going up to visit Grandma Sue and help her out for several weeks over the summer. It was too late to catch the others as they were already gone, but her grandpa promptly decided if that was the case, then they at least ought to take them out before they left, so they took them out to a local Mexican restaurant and Legolas had his first taco. He found them delicious, but messy and definitely something he would be looking up a recipe for so he could convince his father to try it.
He was starting to get quite the collection of recipes he was writing out in Sindarin. The collection started out as dishes Lothril seemed to love that he wanted to bring back for her, but it rapidly evolved to include things he either greatly enjoyed himself or else things he wanted his father to try. Thranduil didn't mind finger food, but he hated things that were messy, and this world seemed to have all sorts of dishes that were less than neat.
They arrived home rather late and the younger siblings went straight to bed. In the morning Lothril planned to tell her parents about what she learned after being in Matilda's mind, and Legolas planned to be with her the entire time. But tonight…
"Do you want to talk about-"
"No," she said decisively, cutting him off. "I don't want to think about it tonight and after tomorrow morning I don't want to think about it again. I have seen the absolute last of her and I am burning that bridge behind me with prejudice."
Legolas let it go at that and instead asked if she wanted to read with him again, and she replied she would much rather have him play a little music for her and he readily agreed to do so.
The next morning after breakfast, Julie and Eddie decided they weren't particularly interested in hearing exactly how crazy their cousin was, because they already knew enough, so they ran off to play outside while the rest of them stayed indoors to talk.
"So, I'm clearly not a shrink, but here's what I found," Lothril said by way of introduction and began laying out as clearly as she could the mass of conflicting memories she found. She started by asking them if they remembered anyone singing "Jingle Bell Rock" and acting tipsy after a couple of pops. The answer was no, of course, because it hadn't happened. Well, Matilda thought it did. She laid out several case in point examples like that of events and things they would be familiar with and her parents readily agreed that wasn't normal. For about half an hour she laid out different examples of things that seemed like they might be different issues or things related but different.
"So it sounds like whatever lies she tells, she can't help and pretty much believes them," Donna said.
"Yeah, that's about the size of it. Or she can't tell lie from reality from day dream. There were a few instances of that too where it seemed pretty clear to me she couldn't distinguish the difference between reality and a vivid dream. But this certainly explains her weird martyr complex with me. Remember how I kept telling you she was mad at me and I didn't know why? I think a lot of those were this weird mix," Lothril answered. "It kinda falls within my pathological liar theory too, but maybe with a dash of something else as her impulse control is dodgy at best. I mean, I think the bipolar and pathological liar thing explain her day to day behavior, but not some of that other stuff."
"Jen, I really I… I had no idea it was this bad!" Donna said, sounding apologetic.
"Yeah, I know, it's fine. I've worked through a lot of this with Elrond already in trying to grapple with… everything," Lothril replied.
Legolas made no sign of his disappointment that she caught herself, but he was a little disappointed all the same. He was still convinced she needed to say something to help herself heal, but he wouldn't press her. The only thing he did was reach over and take her hand and give it a squeeze.
"Elrond? Why with Elrond?" her mom asked.
"Oh, it was sort of inevitable really. While he was training me with ósanwe he was all over in my head and being a healer, I suppose he couldn't help but notice those memories and try to help me," Lothril answered.
Legolas nearly shook his head. What an understatement! They weren't even particularly close yet at that point and even he himself could tell at times there was something that troubled her.
After the conversation drifted to a close, her parents went into the living room and her dad commandeered the television for about twenty minutes before drifting off to the garage, her mom picked up a book, and Lothril and Legolas went back upstairs as it was a bit damp out that morning. As soon as Legolas' bedroom door was closed behind them Lothril said, "I know – I know! I should have said something."
"I was not going to say a word," Legolas said. "However, since you brought it up – I do wish you had for your own sake, but you have said something and warned them enough to keep your sister and brother safe going forward. That is what is most important and urgent. Now, school is done, last night is past, and you have a whole week of practice and leisure before you ere we leave. What shall you like to do?"
"I would say spend time with my family, but I think mom and dad need time to think through everything, so how about for the next few hours you and I read together again," she suggested.
"Yes! I wish to finish "The Light Princess" today," Legolas said with a smile. "And when we are wed, you and I are going to read together like this often."
-o-o-o- -o-o-o- -o-o-o-
Author's note:* Gwog/ gwo – gwog is the informal 'you' conjugation and gwo is the imperative. **milbar: dear home, place returned to after travelling, place of one's birth. …Well, what I thought this chapter was going to look like at the beginning is not how it looked at the end… but I think this is how it was supposed to go. I've left this pretty much raw and not polished up the dialogue at all, because I want it to sound scattered and unsure. That said, I think I caught the better part of all the major grammar snafus and typos, but as always, I'll be nitpicky editing this as I reread it for continuity and giggles for a while. Like I said, this chapter didn't turn out how I thought it would when I started it, but I think it turned out how it was supposed to. I've put a lot of time and thought into Matilda, so I'm sort of excited to be able to give you all a glimpse of her for yourselves. Also, apologies to any readers named Matilda. The name choice was completely random as I was trying to figure out a name that didn't belong to someone I know, and I do not believe I have ever met a Matilda, so that seemed like my safest bet (as there are one or two people IRL who know I'm writing this… I'd hate for them to think I based Matilda off of them or someone we mutually know…). What I've been doing to name characters is picking their age relative to the story, looking up the top 100 baby names for their supposed year of birth and then just scrolling through them until I run into one that I think kinda fits. As I said though, with Matilda it was partially that and partially me not actually knowing anyone by that name. P.S. Thank you to the guest who left the lovely review on the last chapter! It warmed my heart!
