Death was sick and tired of people managing to weasel their way out of their appointed times. That stupid Granger girl in the bathroom with the Troll. Weasley with the dragon bite. Potter in the basement with Quirrel. Potter in the Chamber with the Basilisk, Granger with the basilisk, The Weasley girl with the diary. Potter and that stupid elf. Potter and Granger with the werewolf. Potter and the Dementors. Potter and the stupid tri-wizard tournament. Potter and the veil at the Ministry. Potter kept dodging him and he didn't even have the excuse of cheating like that criminal Riddle. So Death had decided to personally get involved. No more magical methods, complicated scenarios that fate could throw a wrench into at the last moment. Just a simple nice headshot from a tall building. That should do it.
Balancing the rifle, aligning the scope Death calmly squeezed the trigger only for a squirrel to jump in front of the bullet. Reacting in surprise he chambered another round and pulled the trigger before another squirrel sacrificed itself for Potter.
Round after round and damnable squirrels jumped in front of them, dove on them, one even swallowed the round. All of them saving Potter's life as he went on the date with the Granger girl who was next on his list.
Giving up in frustration Death melted the rifle into a puddle and went back to his castle to sulk. A small blonde haired fey though laughed as she petted the squirrel spirits. Watching her best friends Harry and Hermione sharing a milkshake she smiled, "Nobody messes with my friends!"
