Santana could say with full confidence that her love of Christmas was all thanks to Brittany. Not that before she met Brittany she hadn't loved Christmas, what kid wouldn't. She enjoyed all the presents, and it was the only time of year that her parents made themselves fully available to her, plus there was always amazing food at her abuela's house, lots of sweet food, specifically. How could she not love Christmas.

But it wasn't until she met Brittany that Santana began to love Christmas for Christmas. For the spirit of it, and the songs, and all the beautiful decorations. Christmas became about the small things, and the warm happy feelings, rather than the food and the presents.

She was experiencing some of those warm happy feelings right now, seated on the couch beside Brittany and watching her drown her pancakes in syrup. Everyone else had already finished breakfast, and the kids were behind the couch, having pushed the table and chairs out of the way so they could play with Mateo's new hover soccer ball. But Brittany couldn't get enough of the chocolate chip pancakes.

Some of the syrup dripped off the side of the plate and onto Brittany's fluffy pajama pants, but she quickly scooped it up with the tip of her finger and licked it clean. Santana smiled. Not a second later, the same thing happened.

"Stop running away and let me eat you." Brittany grumbled. Santana chuckled softly. Brittany looked up from her food. "What?"

"Nothing." Santana said with a soft smile which she tried to hide by taking a sip of her coffee. It really was nothing. She was just happy. Brittany made her happy, and considering the events of the day before, that was an incredible thing.

"Okay." Brittany blushed slightly, and put down the syrup. "So what do you want to do today?"

"This." Santana replied easily.

"Really?"

Santana shrugged. "Unless there's something you want to do."

"I thought maybe we could drop by Quinn's. I'm sure she has some presents for those munchkins, and they wanted to give her something too."

"Okay." Santana nodded. "I could go to Quinn's. When do you want to leave?"

Brittany stuffed her mouth full of pancake, humming happily as she chewed.

"Not now." She said around a mouthful.

"Okay love."


Quinn's mother was ecstatic to see them. Well not them so much as their kids.

She barely acknowledged them as she hugged each child, then she was steering them into the house, leaving Brittany and Santana at the door.

"I was just telling Quinnie how nice it would be to have kids around the house. Your timing is perfect!" she called over her shoulder.

"I guess we'll let ourselves in." Santana laughed, taking off her coat.

Quinn came to greet them at the door.

"I thought I heard her talking to someone." Quinn said.

"It wasn't us." Santana said.

Quinn frowned.

"She's with our kids." Brittany said, pointing in the direction Judy had gone.

"Ah of course." Quinn rolled her eyes. "She keeps managing to bring up kids in every conversation. I think she knows."

"Don't be paranoid." Santana said. "She's been finding ways to talk about you having a kid for years."

"That's true."

"Though, I mean she has seen you pregnant before." Brittany said thoughtfully. "Maybe she recognizes the signs."

Quinn's eyes widened. "Oh my god you're right."

Santana pulled Brittany to her, as Quinn pressed her hands over her stomach looking worried. "Why would you say that?" She hissed. "We're trying to calm her down not freak her out."

"Oops." Brittany cringed.

"Do I look pregnant? Like can you tell?"

"Not a thing." Santana shook her head.

"I totally look like that when I have a heavy breakfast too."

Santana narrowed her eyes at Brittany, but it was too late.

"Oh my god I'm going to go put on a hoodie." And with that Quinn practically ran off.

"Nice job Beebee."

"Sorry…"


As predicted, Quinn had several presents for each child, which they practically ripped open, and Brittany sat eating a large slice of chocolate cake as they watched. It was like Santana was reliving her morning all over again.

Then the bell rang.

Quinn immediately looked at her mother, who was frowning.

"Are you expecting someone else Quinnie?"

Quinn frowned now too. "No, it must be for you."

"But I don't know who that could be." Judy looked towards the door.

"Neither do I." Quinn said.

"Did you know that if you went to open the door, you could find out?" Santana said. Quinn rolled her eyes at her.

"Maybe it's Noah." Brittany suggested.

"Uncle Noah's here?" Sophia said happily.

"We don't know honey."

"I'll go check-"

"No." Santana said loudly, stopping Sophia in her tracks. "This isn't our house mija."

"I'll just go see and tell you who it is, I won't open the door."

"She can go Santana it's fine." Quinn said.

So Sophia ran off to check.

"You're so lazy." Santana chuckled. "Can't even open the damn door."

"She's not lazy, she's-"

"Tired." Theo cut Brittany off, rubbing Quinn's thigh. "We woke up pretty early."

"Really B?" Santana whispered.

"I was gonna say comfy."

"Mmhhh."

"Mami I don't know who it is."

"Must be a delivery person." Judy said, standing up.

"She's not dressed like a postman."

"She?"

Sophia nodded. "Can I have another cinnamon roll please?"

"Sure honey." Judy said on her way to the door. "Just make sure to use a pla-"

"A plate?"

Judy didn't respond.

"Did you say a plate grandma Judy? Grandma Judy?"

"Yes mija use a plate."

"Mum." Quinn called, wondering what had made her go quiet.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah."

"Come to the door."

"Who is it?" Quinn was already standing up. "Mum?"

Judy didn't speak again.

Santana's curiosity was too great to stay in the living room, so she too got up. Brittany was quick to follow. Her jaw practically hit the floor when she saw who was standing there.

"Beth." Quinn breathed.

"Hi." Beth gave a small wave. She was clearly nervous and uncomfortable. Santana could only imagine the looks they were all giving her.

Jesus appeared by Santana's side, pushing between her and Brittany.

"Who's Beth?" He asked.

"No one honey." Brittany said, quickly grabbing his shoulders and steering him away. "Go have a cookie or something."

"But-"

"Jesus, I'm giving you permission to eat as much sugar as you want right now, would you really rather stay and have a grown ups conversation?"

He shook his head quickly and ran off.

"Sorry for just dropping by like this-"

Quinn recovered from her shock, opening the door wider.

"No, no, it's fine. Completely fine. Please come in."

"Yes come in." Judy said. They all stepped back to give Beth space to enter and shut the door.

"Um…" She looked at all of them, her cheeks turning steadily redder.

"Uh, we're going to go…" Santana grabbed Brittany's hand and took several steps back. "Check on our kids or something." Brittany nodded.

"No." Beth held out her hand. "Don't…um…I feel like you should hear this too."

Santana frowned. The last time she'd seen Beth, the girl had been twelve years old. She'd never held a real conversation with her, and everything she knew about her she'd learned from Quinn. So she couldn't imagine what Beth had to say to her.

Beth shifted uncomfortably, her gaze dropping to the floor.

"I uh…I talked to my sister. Uh to Rachel." She glanced quickly at Quinn before looking back at the floor. "I haven't talked to her much, over the last couple of years cause I've been so angry at them…I felt like everyone had been lying to me, keeping this huge secret from me and I couldn't trust them now."

Quinn nodded, even though Beth wasn't looking at her.

"That's understandable."

"I was really angry with you and Puck too…it was like you'd been pretending to be someone else. Every time I would see you, I thought you were just my sister's friends, and all the while you knew who you really were. You were lying to me the entire time too."

Quinn nodded sadly, her lips pressed together like she did when she was trying not to show emotion and it worried Santana. She knew Beth had a right to say all this, but she wondered if there was a point to it, or if she had just passed by to let Quinn know she hated her. She wanted to speak in defense of Quinn, but she knew it wasn't her place. She wasn't really a part of this conversation, so she had no right. So she kept her mouth shut.

"I graduated a few months ago." Beth said. "I go to Manchester University now." She looked up and right at Quinn. "But you already know that, don't you.

Quinn nodded. "Yes, I know." Her voice was so gentle, like she was afraid to scare Beth away.

"Yeah I thought so. After graduation it was really hard to be mad at my family. I was just so happy and proud of myself, and I could see how happy and proud they were too, and I realised they love me. They've always loved me. So…I went to talk to Rachel. She told me everything, I mean my mum tried to tell me before but I think I was too young and angry at the time to really listen. So when Rachel told me the story it was like hearing it for the first time."

"And…" Quinn fidgeted with her hands in front of her. "How did you feel the second time?"

"Like I'd been a bit unfair to you. And Puck."

"Really?" Quinn's eyes widened.

"You were younger than I am now, so I think giving me up was the right choice, and as for lying to me about who you were…I mean what were you really supposed to tell me? You couldn't just introduce yourself as my mother."

"And Shelby wouldn't let her even if she-"

"Santana!" Quinn snapped, turning to glare at her.

Santana sucked her lips into her mouth. She hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"No she's right." Beth said. "My mother wouldn't have allowed you to, she told me. Rachel told me it was my mum's idea not to tell me who you were. So I can't really be mad at you for respecting her wishes. I'm sorry I've been so mad for so long."

"I'm really glad you understand." Quinn said, taking a cautious step forward. "But you don't have to be sorry. You're the only one who doesn't have to be sorry in this whole thing."

"Well…" Beth shrugged. "Rachel also told me how you've been watching me. Not like in a creepy way." She chuckled. "But like, just wanting to be a part of my life, even if it's from a distance."

Quinn nodded.

"That must have been hard." Beth looked down again. "And I didn't let you come to my graduation…If I don't get to be sorry for anything else, I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay. We couldn't have been prouder even if we were there."

"We'll make up for it at my college graduation."

A tear rolled down Quinn's cheek as she smiled. "I'd love that."

Quinn's tears were clearly making Beth even more uncomfortable. She stuffed her hands in her pocket and avoided her eyes. "Anyway um…I thought I'd come by and tell you that…um…I forgive you, and that, well I know I don't you that well." She looked at Theo, "But I'd like to be your bridesmaid….if you still-"

"Yes!" Quinn tried to hold back a sob, but Santana heard it. She lurched forward, grabbing Beth into a tight hug. "Oh my god, yes of course! I would love for you to be one of my bridesmaids."

Despite her discomfort, Beth hugged Quinn back with a small smile. "Cool."

When the hug was about to go on for just a bit too long, Theo stepped forward, gently rubbing Quinn's back. She let Beth go, wiping her eyes and cheeks.

"Thank you."

Beth shrugged.

"My step dad's waiting for me in the car." She jerked her thumb at the door. "So I better go. But…Uh merry Christmas."

"Can I give you a hug too?" Judy asked tentatively. After a moment's hesitation, Beth nodded.

Santana felt her own eyes swell up as Theo hugged a now silently sobbing Quinn to his chest. This was what Quinn had been hoping for for years. That one day Beth would forgive her and they could build a proper relationship with her knowing who Quinn really was to her. She'd watched Quinn agonize over anything Beth related for nearly two decades, and now finally she had peace, and it seemed that Beth had peace too.

She had to fight hard not to cry.

Watching Beth walk down the driveway to her step father's car, Santana couldn't help drawing parallels to her own situation with her grandmother. She was angry, like Beth had been, and she had every right to be angry, she knew that. But what had she been hoping for for nearly two decades? For her grandmother. Would she be betraying herself by passing up the opportunity to at least see what forgiving her abuela could lead to?

She hadn't gone to church, and she'd felt every single minute of it. She was angry with her abuela, but she was also suffering. The entire two hours of the service she'd kept looking at the time, wondering if her grandmother still expected her to show up. Wondering if she was watching the doors, hoping Santana would walk through them. She was angry but she also felt guilty. She was punishing her abuela and herself at the same time.

Maybe she could find some peace, just like Beth.


Brittany had been pacing back and forth for nearly ten minutes. She stopped to stare at the pristine white door with a small statue of Jesus hanging on it. She would knock, eventually, she just needed to get her thoughts right. She'd left Quinn's so fast she barely had time to process what she was doing, let alone consider the consequences, but now that she'd gotten out of the car and was standing right there, her brain had caught up. She wasn't scared, there was just a lot to think about before knocking. Like for example, deciding what she was actually going to say, and more importantly how she was going to say it, because she was pretty sure that Santana wouldn't be happy with what she was doing, and if anything she said happened to get back to her….well…if everything went according to plan Santana would never even know she had been here.

HA! She started pacing again. According to plan. As if she had a plan. She wasn't even sure why she was here. She'd never thought she'd be back here, and now that she was, maybe she was panicking a little. But that was to be expected. Nothing good had ever come out of visiting this place. Nothing. Which should be a huge sign that she in fact shouldn't be here. If she was smart she would get in her car and drive back to Quinn's.

Instead she threw caution to the wind, stepped forward and rang the bell.

Adrenaline was coursing through her veins now, like that feeling before she performed, or years back before one of her motocross races. The anticipation was building up inside her, only this time the release wasn't something she loved.

In fact it was something she really, really hated. Confrontation.

It took so long for the door to open that Brittany began to get agitated. As a firm believer that everything happened for a reason, she knew this was probably another sign that she should go home. She'd tried, and it was a good, respectable effort. Now she could turn around, get in her car and leave. She could, but she also couldn't. Brittany knew she wouldn't be able to sleep well if she didn't see this through. So she rang the bell again.

This time it was less than a minute before the door swung open and she was staring right into the tired eyes of Alma Lopez.

"Brittany?" Alma opened the door wider, looking around.

"It's just me."

Alma nodded.

"Uh.." She stepped aside. "Please come in."

"No." Brittany shook her head, even taking a step back. The thought of going into that house without Santana made her heart race. "I'm not staying. I came to say something, and I can do that out here."

"Okay?" Alma let go of the door and stepped forward. "Que paso?"

Brittany took a deep steadying breath, trying to remind herself that while she may not particularly like Alma, Santana loved her.

"What you did yesterday was disgusting, do you understand that?"

Alma looked down in what almost looked like shame.

"Either you do, in which case you're so selfish that you can so easily disregard everyone's feelings but your own, or you don't, in which case you're so selfish that you can't even recognize anyone's feelings but your own.

Alma nodded slowly, still looking down. "I needed to talk to her, and it was the only way-"

"You needed." Brittany interrupted. "That's right. You needed. You still don't care about what Santana needs."

"Brittany." Alma looked up, "please come inside." She reached out for Brittany, but Brittany took two steps back, shaking her head.

"No."

"You are angry with me, and I understand. I have not…have never treated you well. I remember."

Brittany frowned, her response momentarily forgotten in her genuine confusion.

"You remember? Remember what?"

"A night many years ago, when you came to ask me to wish Santana happy birthday."

Brittany's eyes narrowed. She was still confused, because she didn't know what this had to do with anything, or where Alma was going with this but she was also starting to get irritated.

"Beg you." She said, her voice even.

"Que?"

"I came to beg you to wish Santana happy birthday."

"Si." Alma looked down again. That pissed Brittany off more. She wished Alma would look her in the eyes. "I've thought about that night often over the years. I think that was the day that led me here…to this point."

Again, Brittany was confused.

"How?"

"That was the day I decided you were the enemy. That was the day it stopped being so much about Santana's…about her being a lesbian, and more about you."

Brittany frowned. "You're saying it's my fault that you haven't talked to Santana in nearly two decades?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Because I came to ask you to do the right thing?"

"No, it's not your fault, it's mine. I was so angry. I hated you. I believed you had stolen her from me. She was a good girl until she met you, then you corrupted her against me. Then you had the audacity to come to my house and tell me what was best for her…" Alma shook her head, sighing heavily. "I remember that night and what I said to you. I am sorry Brittany."

Brittany felt like she'd been slapped. She stared, stunned, at Alma, who was still not looking her in the eye, with her brain completely blank. She had expected a Santana related apology, something about how she'd realised the error of her ways and wanted Brittany to tell Santana how sorry she was. But she had not imagined her own apology. She had never even thought that Alma owed her an apology.

"I pushed her away, and because of that lost years with her. I missed out on her growing into the beautiful young lady, starting her career, starting her family….everything I had dreamed about."

Brittany was slowly coming out of her shock the more Alma talked, and she was only getting angrier. All she was hearing was that Alma was alone and miserable and had finally decided that her own ego wasn't worth it anymore. Alma was sorry that she had missed out on Santana's life, not that she'd hurt Santana.

Brittany's face hardened.

"I was raised in a different time, taught different truths about life, and that's not an excuse I know. I was hard headed and proud-"

"You're a bully." Brittany cut in, no longer caring about how she spoke. Alma finally looked at her, her eyes wide with shock. Clearly she'd been expecting her speech to calm Brittany down. Maybe make her feel bad for her. Brittany scoffed. "You're a bully Alma. Everyone in your family knows it, I know it and I've never spent any time with you. It's your way, or the highway isn't that right? People either get with the program or they're dispensable. That's not because you were raised in a different time, that's who you are."

"Maybe." Alma nodded. "But Santana is my granddaughter-"

"NO!" Brittany exploded. Alma flinched but Brittany didn't care. She pointed aggressively, right in her face. "Santana is not your anything. She's not your granddaughter, she's my wife. She's my best friend, she's my EVERYTHING! She's not yours to manipulate, or mold after yourself in some messed up egotistical way. She's not yours to 'teach'" She used air quotes, "life lessons to, or tear down and build up however you please. She's MINE, and I will protect her from you even if that means having to stand in your own house and disrespect you in a way that Santana would never do herself, or probably let me do. Everyone around you just lets you behave however you want, terrorizing them, and maybe that's because you raised them to accept that abuse from you and told them it was respect but you didn't raise me. So here's the truth. You're a narcissistic bully Alma, and I don't think you've changed."

Alma flinched again, taking a step back. Her eyes were big and watery, for a second Brittany felt bad for the hurt she saw in them, but she was too angry for it to last. She was furious.

"You may have decided that in the greater scheme of things, Santana being a lesbian isn't worth the fight anymore, but that isn't the only issue I have with you. You're mean, and full of hate and anger and jealousy and judgement and cruelty. You have to have an opinion on everything, and the only reason you express that opinion is because you want people to know you're better than them, or that you disapprove of them. So I don't care whether you have or haven't actually accepted Santana for who she is, or me and the role I play in her life, or the beauty of our love."

"Brittany please." Alma begged, reaching out for her again, but not moving any closer to actually touch her. "I have to live with the pain I caused Santana for the rest of my life. I have to live with the decisions I made and everything they cost me. My son, my great-grandchildren….I have to live with that. But I am trying to make it right."

Brittany watched the woman before her, and thought that she was probably being genuine. She probably did feel bad for what her decisions cost her. But Brittany didn't feel even an ounce of sympathy for her. Not when she and Santana had given her so many chances to make it right. Alma had brought everything onto herself.

"Santana's going to forgive you."

"Que?" There was a spark of hope in Alma's eyes, behind the sadness. "She told you-"

"No. She didn't need to tell me. I don't think she knows it yet, but I do." Brittany's eyes drifted to the side as she thought of Santana, her anger simmering. She suddenly felt exhausted. "I saw the look in her eyes today…I know what it means…she's going to forgive you."

"Thank you-"

"Don't thank me." Brittany sneered, eyes snapping back to Alma. "If it were up to me she wouldn't. I don't want her to."

"Dios mio Brittany I am sorry."

"I don't care. I won't stop her, if she feels like she needs to forgive you, or wants to give you another chance…" Brittany shrugged. "I won't stop her." She straightened her back, looking down at Alma. Feeling her hands shaking she clenched them at her sides. "I'm here to make sure that you do the right thing for once in your life."

"I will-"

"Listen to me!" She snapped in frustration. "When she comes to forgive you, the only words out of your mouth are going to be, 'I love you,' 'I accept you', and 'I am proud of you and your family.' For the rest of your life those are the only things you are going to tell her. You're not going to offer any words of advice, and constructive criticism, or opinions, that stray away from those sentiments. I don't care if you really believe them or not. You're going to lie. You're going to fake it. Do you understand me?"

Alma stared up at her, her mouth still slightly open from when Brittany had cut her off, and a small crease in her brow.

"You're going to be the sweet old grandmother Santana always deserved, because I swear to god if I have to pick a broken Santana up one more time…If I have to put her broken heart back together one more time because of you." She pointed, and her finger shook so much even Alma noticed. "Alma I swear to god you are never going to see my children. I believe at the very least you genuinely want Santana and my kids in your life, but I don't care how much Santana wants to forgive you, I am their mother too, and believe me if I say they don't see you, they won't. If you hurt Santana one more time I swear on your god, that my kids will grow up never knowing who you are. You will never know anything about them. You will be no one to them. Do you understand?"

With tears in her eyes, Alma nodded.

"Si."

"Good." Brittany turned, ready to leave and never see this house again. She felt close to tears herself, which was weird, but she was sure as hell not going to cry in front of Alma. She made it down to the last step before she stopped and turned back around.

"Merry Christmas."

She didn't wait for Alma to reply before walking purposefully back to her car and getting in.


Brittany didn't stop until she was a block away from Quinn's house, then she didn't have a choice. Her hands were still shaking violently, and her breathing had picked up, as though she'd ran the whole way. She got out of the car, trying to take deep breaths to calm down, but that didn't help. She needed a paper bag to breathe into, because Brittany was pretty sure she was having a panic attack.

With the way she was hyperventilating Brittany was beginning to feel light headed. She leaned heavily against the car door, but that action shifted her weight to her heels, and she was not wearing the best shoes for snow, so she slipped, landing heavily on the ground. It didn't hurt, thanks to the several feet of snow, but given her already unstable emotional state, she might as well have landed on a Lego block. She sat forward, resting her elbows on her knees and holding her head in her hands, trying hard not to burst into tears.

Brittany sat there, feeling her chest tighten and her head spin and really began to panic. Her first thought was to call Santana, but she couldn't do that without explaining to her what happened. She also couldn't call Quinn, because Brittany was sure Quinn would immediately tell Santana. She'd seen a technique that was meant to calm you down when you were having a panic attack on a television show one time, so she decided to try it.

She focused on three things she could see, saying the names out loud through the shallow quick breaths she was taking.

"Mailbox….tree…..house."

Then she said two things she could touch.

"Snow." She dropped her hands, placing them palm down on the ground and feeling the cold snow beneath them. "Car." She reached behind her, pressing the back of her hand on the car. Breathing was already coming easier to her, the tightness in her chest easing up as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on one thing she could hear.

With this one Brittany had to concentrate a little more. She couldn't hear much over the blood rushing in her ears and her heavy breaths, so she forced herself to take slower breaths and focused hard on the sounds around her.

Her phone rang loudly, making her open her eyes.

"My phone." She said, pushing off the ground and standing up. She had no idea what had happened, why she'd lost it like that, but she was much calmer now. Her hands were no longer shaking and she was only crying a little. She was cold though. Really freaking cold. The back of her pants were soaked and her fingers were aching from the cold. Sniffing, Brittany reached into the car and took her phone from inside the cup holder.

Santana was calling. Brittany smiled as she answered the phone, wiping her running nose on her sleeve.

"Santana" She breathed, feeling even calmer.

"B where did you go?" Santana asked.

"I remembered my mum had asked me to get her some ingredients for the pie she's making, so I went to buy them, but then I decided to just drop them off since I was already in the car."

"Oh."

"I'm almost back though, just around the corner."

"Okay see you in a bit then."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Brittany hung up as she got into the car, wondering just what kind of coincidence it was that when she desperately needed Santana, Santana had called. Before starting the car, she pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror. Her eyes weren't red, which was good, but her entire face was. She got wipes from her purse and blew her nose, then with another wipe, wiped her eyes to get rid of that 'I've just been crying' look. Lastly she turned on the heat in the car, hoping to warm herself up enough to return to normal colour before she got to Quinn's.

She didn't want to have to answer any questions about why she was so red, because she didn't want to have to lie any more than she already had. Hopefully she could put the entire incident behind her and never have to think of it again.

Like she'd said, nothing good ever came from going to that damn house.


On New Year's Eve, Santana found herself grateful to be in Lima. San Jose was great, and they had their own family traditions that she loved, but it was almost better in Lima. With both her and Brittany's families there they could have a party that was more fun for the kids. The party, which was held at the Lopez residence, was basically split into two. The kids were all upstairs, where the occasional screaming and yelling could be heard, and the adults were downstairs.

Brittany and Santana had definitely drank more than they had in years, and Santana knew this because of the way Brittany was dancing.

It had all been very innocent in the beginning, everyone dancing in the living room to the loud music, Brittany and Santana dancing playfully, twirling each other…but several drink later, Brittany's moves were now much more seductive. Maybe Santana was getting more turned on than she otherwise would have because she herself was probably drunk, but there was no denying that the way Brittany had just dipped down, looked at Santana over her shoulder and winked was innocent.

She swallowed thickly as Brittany reached back and held onto Santana's legs as she sexily swayed her hips, rising slowly from the ground.

"Britt." She groaned, her hands instantly finding Brittany's hips. "Baby I think we drank too much."

"Mmmhhh" Brittany hummed, turning in Santana's arms and wrapping her arm around her neck. "Is that why I'm so horny?"

"Oh god." Santana shut her eyes, praying for self control. Brittany continued to sway, her fingers playing with the baby hair at the base of Santana's neck. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against Santana's, and Santana really couldn't help herself. Her hands slid down from Brittany's hip to her ass.

"Mmmhh" Brittany hummed again, rubbing her nose slowly against Santana's. "I wanna kiss you."

Santana gripped her ass slightly harder, clenching her jaw.

"You probably shouldn't."

"You smell so good though." Brittany took a step closer, her fingers moving higher in Santana's hair. "I bet you taste good too."

Santana licked her lips, feeling her clit pulse at Brittany's words.

"Britt." She warned.

"Just…" Brittany traced her nose along Santana's cheek, down her jaw, where she placed a soft kiss, and then moved to her neck. Santana involuntarily tightened her grip on Brittany's ass as she felt her tongue snake out and lick a small patch on her neck. Their bodies were now pressed together. Brittany moaned, her fingers tangling in Santana's hair. Her mouth opened and the next thing Santana knew, Brittany was sucking on her neck.

Yup, they had definitely drank too much.

Before she completely gave into Brittany, Santana abruptly took a step back, holding Brittany at arms length.

Brittany's eyes blinked open slowly.

"We need to drink some water." Santana said, her voice coming out slightly raspy. She saw Brittany lick her lips, eyes fixed on Santana's lips.

"Britt!"

"Huh?" Brittany looked up. "What?"

"We need water." Santana repeated.

"Yeah to dunk you both in." Miguel said, walking past them and taking a seat on the couch.

"Shut up." Santana mumbled, knowing he was one hundred percent right.

"Did you forget where you were? Or rather who was present?"

"No." Santana looked around, feeling her body temperature begin to lower. "I've just had a bit too much to drink I think."

"And self control is not her greatest strength even when sober." Quinn said from behind them. Theo was trailing behind her. They both sat next to Miguel. That was when Santana realised the music had stopped.

"It's not my fault."

"This time I believe you." Quinn said. "I mean look at her." She pointed at Brittany.

"Poor Brittany is so wound up, I don't think she's heard a single thing we've said."

Brittany was once again staring at her lips. Santana could just imagine all the things going on in her head. She ran a hand through her hair, looking around again.

"We can't be drunk, our kids are here."

"I'm not drunk." Quinn said, raising her hand.

"Me neither." Theo said.

"Neither are your parents. We'll all look after them."

"How many drinks have you had Britt?"

"Enough to want to rip your clothes off."

"Brittany!" Quinn squealed, while Miguel and Theo laughed.

"Okay." Santana nodded, reaching forward and taking Brittany's hand. "Water." She said. "Let's go get water."


Several glasses of water and a plate of food later, Santana was feeling much more sober, which was good because Mateo was clinging to her like a monkey. He was exhausted, but wasn't allowing himself to sleep because every time one of his siblings saw him they would say how shocked they were that he was still awake. But he was exhausted, which meant that he was whiny and clingy. But it was almost midnight, at which point Santana knew there would be no shame in him falling asleep, so she let him hold on to her, following her around like a shadow.

"He's still awake." Stephen remarked as Santana walked into the kitchen with Mateo hanging onto her arm.

"Oh yes." Santana nodded. "My boys never sleep papi."

Stephen chuckled. "I recall."

"What are you doing in here?"

"Came to get a few more of these." He lifted the six pack of beer on the counter.

"Wow." Santana shook her head. "You're still going huh?"

"It'll take about two more for me to start feeling it, and when I do I can sit back on my recliner and fall asleep like the old man I am."

"No abuleo, you have to stay awake until the new year." Mateo said, stepping forward.

"Oh do I?" Stephen pretended to be shocked.

"Yes." Mateo yawned.

"Why?"

"Because you have to see the fireworks and shout HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"Why?" Stephen asked again.

"Cause that's New Year's."

"Who says?"

"Everyone." Mateo cried, stomping his foot. "That's what you do on New Year's, you have to stay awake and say happy New Year and watch the fireworks, that's what New Year's means you have to…."

"Mijo" Santana pouted as Mateo burst into tears, still trying valiantly to explain the tradition to his grandfather. She bent and picked him up, seating him on her hip. "He understands, look, he's going to stay awake right papi?"

"Si." Stephen walked forward, coming to brush a hand over Mateo's hair. "I will stay awake, that's the New Year's tradition."

Mateo struggled to speak through his quick breaths, his bottom lip trembling.

"P-promise?"

"I promise. You and I will stay awake together."

"Oka-okay." He said in a weak voice.

"Oh baby." Santana wiped his cheeks, kissed the one facing her and then cradled his head to her shoulder. "What if we go up and read a story for a bit?" Mateo shook his head. "Are you sure? I won't let you sleep, we'll just rest." He shook his head again. "Okay."

"Strong boy." Stephen said. "You'll be fine nieto."

"I forgot why I came in here." Santana said, looking round the kitchen.

"Food? Water? A drink?"

"Oh no." Santana shook her head. "I think I have drank enough for the night."

"TEN MINUTES." Santana's cousin Sara yelled, bursting through the kitchen door and then disappearing just as quickly.

"We better go get ready." Stephen said, picking his beers and walking to the door.

Santana waited for her dad to leave and the door to close before shifting Mateo so she could look at him.

"My love, it's going to be really loud and hectic in a little bit okay?"

She'd learned at their last New Year's party, which was the only other one Mateo had tried to stay awake for, that while it all seemed very normal to her for everyone to suddenly begin screaming and things to randomly start exploding, it was not normal to Mateo. He'd fallen asleep on the couch and woke up screaming his head off when they set off the fireworks. Santana wanted to avoid a repeat this year.

Mateo nodded.

"There will be party poppers and yelling, but everyone's just having a good time okay? You don't need to be scared."

"Okay."

"Santa-there you are." Brittany came through the door, holding a party popper in one hand a glass of wine in the other. "I've been looking all over for you. I should just be starting with the kitchen from now on."

If Santana was sobering up, Brittany was now tipsy. She'd drank water and eaten just like Santana, but she kept accepting the glasses of wine Santana's mother kept offering her. She was now on her third glass and the effects were showing.

"Niki what's up? Why aren't you playing with Adrienne? Are you tired?"

"Adrienne went to bed an hour ago babe." Santana said, walking forward and taking the glass from Brittany.

"Oh yeah." Brittany giggled. "Well come on, it's almost midnight." She spun around, nearly bashing into the door, giggled again and pulled it open. "I need to find my other children."

"Mama's funny." Mateo said, his breathing finally back to normal.

Santana kissed Mateo's cheek again. "Yup she is. Let's go make sure she doesn't get into any trouble."


Mateo lasted a mere ten minutes after midnight before falling asleep in Susan's lap. Pierce carried him upstairs and put him in Santana's bed, where Adrienne and Christian were already fast asleep.

Santana was beginning to wonder whether she was really sober. Because since kissing Brittany at midnight, she hadn't been able to think about anything else. She kept catching herself staring at Brittany's lips, or her hand sliding just a little bit too low on Brittany's back. Brittany had noticed too, and god help her, Brittany was now teasing her. Santana had never loved and hated Brittany so much before. It was kind of fun, teasing each other like this, both pretending they weren't doing anything, while also interacting with their families and trying to act normal. It was fun to watch Brittany dancing with Miguel and Nicole, pretending she wasn't trying to get Santana to stare at her ass. It was not fun to be as turned on as she was while surrounded by her family. It was even less fun when she realised that they would probably be around their family all night, so they wouldn't get the chance to see all this teasing through.

She jumped suddenly as she was slapped hard on her arm.

"Ow!" She gripped her arm, turning away from Brittany to scowl at Quinn.

"Stop drooling."

"I wasn't drooling, I'm just watching her. I'm allowed to watch my wife."

"Oh I've heard that before." Quinn said, shaking her head. "I know exactly what you were thinking, and it's incredibly inappropriate considering the setting."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Grow up." She looked back at Brittany just in time to catch Brittany rolling her hips as she looked right at Santana. She bit her lip, fighting a smirk as Brittany turned away, continuing her conversation with Miguel.

"You grow up." Quinn laughed. "I'm not the one acting like a horny teenager."

"I haven't even touched her."

"Yet." Quinn scoffed.

"Plus you were all over each other just an hour ago." Theo reminded them.

"That was last year." Brittany said, appearing by Santana's side.

"Exactly." Santana said with a firm nod, as Quinn rolled her eyes and Theo laughed.

"I totally don't feel like ripping Santana's clothes off anymore."

"Really?" Santana asked with a raised eyebrow. She slipped her hand round Brittany's waist, slowly licking her lips and leaning closer to her. She lowered her voice. "Not even a little?"

Brittany shook her head, though she leaned into Santana as well.

"Nope."

Santana leaned even closer, softly kissing Brittany's neck. She felt Brittany stiffen.

"Tell the truth Britt-Britt"

"I don't feel like ripping your cloths off." Brittany said in a strained voice, her eyes fluttering as Santana moved her hand even lower, so it was resting on Britany's ass. She kissed a little higher on her neck, just below her ear.

Knowing there was more Brittany wanted to say, Santana merely hummed, encouraging her to continue.

"I wanna take them off slowly." Brittany finally confessed.

Santana smirked triumphantly as Quinn groaned in disgust.

"That's my girl" Santana whispered, placing one last kiss on Brittany's neck before pulling back. She was stopped however, by Brittany roughly gripping her arm. She looked at her, confused.

"Come with me."

"Wanky." Santana chuckled, letting Brittany drag her away from Quinn and Theo. Brittany said nothing as she led Santana through the room, weaving through all the people and completely ignoring them, all the while keeping a firm grip on Santana's hand. "Where are we going?" Santana asked, as Brittany pulled open the front door. Brittany pushed Santana through the door, stepped out herself and slammed the door. Before Santana could ask another question, she was being pulled forward roughly by Brittany's hands on the side of her face.

Brittany turned them, pushing Santana back against the door and tilting her head up just slightly so she could kiss her better. Despite the aggressive way she'd been acting, the kiss was almost the opposite. Brittany's lips parted, gently covering Santana's bottom one, which her tongue softly caressed.

Santana gripped Brittany's waist, recovering from her shock and pulling her flush against her. Brittany moaned, her hands moving from Santana's face round to the back of her neck. She pushed harder into the kiss, biting playfully at Santana's bottom lip before snaking her tongue into Santana's mouth.

Santana let her weight rest fully on the door, so that she could lift her left leg and wrap it around Brittany's waist. Brittany wasted no time in moving her hand to Santana's thigh, hooking under it so she could pull Santana even closer. Santana's dress was dangerously high now, something she noticed when Brittany smoothed her hand up over bare skin and Santana felt her fingers brush the edge of her underwear.

Brittany moaned, starting to rock into Santana, pushing her dress up even higher and squeezing Santana's ass.

Despite her bottom half being basically exposed, Santana felt like she was overheated. She pulled out of the kiss, leaning her head back against the door as she took in quick deep breaths. Brittany didn't slow down. She took advantage of Santana's exposed neck, kissing all the way down it, stopping to leave small hickies every so often.

Santana wanted to cry. She was so wet, and getting wetter with every flick of Brittany's tongue. Her dress wasn't allowing for much movement, meaning she couldn't spread her legs wide enough for Brittany to stand between them unless she pulled it all the way up over her ass.

She was rapidly reaching the point of not caring though. As Brittany bit gently on her earlobe and Santana felt her hot heavy breath rushing over her ear, she shuddered so hard she almost thought's she'd had an orgasm.

God she was so wet.

Trying to regain some composure, she lifted her hand and tangled her fingers in Brittany's hair, rocking her hips up to meet Brittany's and pulling Brittany's head up so she could kiss her. They both moaned when their tongues collided, Brittany's hips moving against her with just a little more urgency. Her hand was grabbing Santana's ass hard now, pulling her into her body every time she rocked forward.

When Brittany pulled back for breath, Santana saw the passion in her eyes. Brittany was as hot as she was, which turned her on even more. The entire situation was so very, very hot. She was dry humping Brittany on her front porch, with her entire family on the other side of the door. With her kids very much awake, on the other side of the door, which was not locked.

Maybe it was the risk. Maybe it was the way Brittany had been teasing her for the past half an hour. Santana didn't know, but she didn't care. So when Brittany gripped the hem of her dress and began pulling it up over her ass, Santana didn't stop her. Her heart was racing with excitement and anticipation as she watched Brittany, who was staring down between them. She stepped in between Santana's legs, lifting her left leg higher on her waist, and then her fingers were pressing against Santana's silky black and very damp underwear.

Santana shuddered again, cursing quietly. Brittany's eyes flicked up to hers, dark with arousal and intense with desire. They both swallowed. Then Brittany was suddenly moving back, dropping Santana's leg and looking around.

"Britt" Santana said, her voice low and raspy. Brittany looked at her again, pulled her into an intense kiss, and then stepped back.

"Go to the car and wait for me." She said, and without any explanation, stepped around Santana and walked into the house.

Santana had to scramble to pull down her dress before anyone inside saw her. With Brittany gone and their hot makeout over, she was suddenly freezing. She shivered violently for an entirely different reason, trying to peek into the house to see what Brittany was doing, but she couldn't see her.

She was still incredibly turned on though, and didn't want to have to sit with her family like this. So she didn't go inside. She just stood there, getting a little pissed off with Brittany for just leaving her like this, especially with how worked up she'd gotten her.

Then she spotted Brittany, weaving through the crowd quickly and purposefully, with their coats in her arms. Santana frowned.

"I told you to go to the car." Brittany hissed, passing Santana her coat.

"The car is locked." Santana said, hastily putting on the coat as she shivered again.

"That's why I have these." Brittany raised her hand, the keys to the car dangling on her finger.

Santana smirked. "And where are we going?" She asked, though she was sure she knew the answer.

"Nowhere." Brittany grinned. She took Santana's hand and led her down the steps. Santana followed happily, feeling so, so glad that she'd married Brittany.


Santana felt like a teenager as she and Brittany cuddled tightly together in the backseat of the car, breathing heavily and feeling so warm and comfy she could drift to sleep at any moment. If she had to guess, she'd say this was the best way to spend New Year's. Party poppers were fun, but sex was so much better.

Her phone chimed, which confused her for a second because she hadn't carried her phone out with her, but then it chimed again and she realised it was in her coat pocket, somewhere on the floor.

"Nooo" Brittany protested, gripping Santana's waist tighter to keep her from moving.

"I think it's Noah." Santana chuckled.

"He can wait." Brittany mumbled into her neck.

"You get it for me then, since you're closer."

Though she complained, Brittany reached down to the floor and blindly began looking for Santana's coat. She pulled up three different items of clothing before finally getting it right.

"Here." She dropped it onto Santana. "I'm going to sleep."

"Don't." Santana said as she fished the phone out of her pocket. "We should go back into the house in a little bit."

"Noooo"

Santana laughed, unlocking her phone. Sure enough, Puck had sent a message wishing her happy New Year and promising to take an extra shot just for her.

"It's like he hasn't grown up at all." Santana mumbled to herself as she typed back a reply about how he shouldn't use her as an excuse to get drunk. When she'd sent it, she decided to use this time to send out all the happy New Year texts she would need to. She opened up her contact list, intent on just going through them all so she didn't forget anyone, but stopped almost immediately.

First on that list was her Abuela.

She debated with herself for a few seconds, knowing that once she opened that door there would be no shutting it. She couldn't text her and then go on ignoring her calls, and if she was going to be picking her calls, would she accept invitations to family functions? Would she invite her to San Jose? It was a small gesture, sending a single text, but this small gesture led to a mountain of other possibilities that Santana wasn't sure she was read for. She wasn't sure her heart could take her hoping for those possibilities only to be disappointed again.

She didn't think she was strong enough to heal the same wounds for a third time.

Yet….

"I'm going to send her a message."

"Hmm?" She felt Brittany blink her eyes open, her eyelashes tickling Santana's neck. "Who?"

Santana didn't answer, staring down at the screen and feeling a little panicked.

"Did I imagine you talking?" Brittany asked, sounding a little more awake. "Was that a dream?"

She lifted her head from Santana's neck and saw her phone.

"Oh." She let out, and Santana knew she was now caught up.

"She's not up….I don't think she's awake." Santana said quickly, like she was defending herself.

"Okay…"

"I just…I feel like…like just telling her happy New Year or something. She's probably alone…."

Brittany nodded, pulling her lips into her mouth. Santana had been expecting her to say something, so her silence wasn't exactly helping her feel better about her decision. She studied Brittany's face, her eyes, trying to see what she thought, but Brittany's face wasn't telling her anything.

"What do you think?" Santana asked, searching Brittany's eyes.

"I think….you want to, which means something. You haven't even wanted to look at the screen when you see she's calling so…"

"Yeah. So you think I should?"

Brittany licked her lips, not looking away from Santana once, which reassured her a little bit.

"Do you want to?"

Slowly, Santana nodded, her eyes flicking down to her phone. She actually did want to, which was scary. It was scary that she could go from being so angry with her abuela that she couldn't stand seeing her name pop up on her phone, to wanting to text her in just a week.

Brittany scooted closer to her. "Then that's all that matters."

Santana swallowed, her thumb still hovering over the contact.

"Santana?"

"What if….what if it just ends up like all the other times? With her not really having changed and me just disappointed all over again?"

"It's going to be okay."

Santana shook her head. She loved Brittany's optimism, and usually it rubbed off on her, but not this. This was something that based on prior experience was statistically more likely to end badly than in a happy ending.

"You don't know that. You can't know-"

Brittany put her hand over the phone's screen, cutting Santana off.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course." Santana looked at her with a small frown, confused that Brittany would even ask that.

"I know. This I know." Brittany said, cupping Santana's cheeks. "It's going to be okay."

Santana let out a long shaky breath, turned her head to gently kiss Brittany's palm and then opened up a new message with her abuela. She simply typed, 'Feliz año nuevo' and put off her phone, knowing she would stare at the message, working herself up for hours if she didn't.

"Okay." She said, leaning forward and kissing Brittany. "To a New Year."

Brittany smiled, pulling her back in for another kiss.

"Happy New Year baby."

They settled back into the cuddled position, but Santana couldn't help feeling like there was something about the way Brittany said it that sounded sad. But she didn't ask. She just held her tighter and tried to believe what she'd said. Everything was going to be okay.