Every day, the pressure became more intense. A week before Christmas, Theodore pulled her aside from a dinner party to let her know what her Christmas gift will be. She had to be prepared, yet act surprised for the theatrical appeal. On the evening of the ball, she attended in a vintage wedding dress. That was the dress Vinda never got the chance to wear, rich with pearls and embroidery, stiffened into the shape of a rose. Except... Anna had dyed it black.
Theodore nearly changed the engagement date. It felt too much like a joke. He felt exposed. If people suspected that she didn't want to marry him, they would start asking questions - neither of them wanted that to happen, right? His father placed the velvet box in his hands and pushed him forward. This has already been decided. There was no turning back now.
"Oh, that's beautiful," Bellatrix cheered. She was the only one who saw a funeral dress at a proposal party and thought nothing odd of it.
Her mind still clinging to hope, Annelyse watched Theodore kneel and present his offer. It was her ticket out of the Rosier Manor, to freedom - or rather, to a larger, prettier cage.
After the winter break, the school year began with more restrictions than before. Dolores Umbridge was their new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Anna immediately began to suspect that she was there for a different reason. Although equally incompetent to her predecessors, who had all failed miserably in her eyes - Dolores Umbridge seemed rather dangerous. Her links to the Ministry made it suspicious. Who would give up an office at the Ministry to teach at Hogwarts?
Her first theory was indoctrination. She was there to teach a subject that should have been practical by definition in a purely theoretical way. She lost her temper when questioned. She gave Harry detention for mentioning the Dark Lord. It aligned perfectly with the current panic of the Ministry and their desperation to shove everything under the rug.
Her second theory was suppression. Selena was crying about how badly Harry was being hurt during detention. Sympathies aside, severe physical punishments were prohibited through the rulebook of Hogwarts and the Law of Education passed by the Ministry itself. Furthermore, this was a magical injury, healable only through the magic that was not taught in class, and which Hermionie likely didn't study on her own because it required to practice on a live subject, which meant one should first acquire a magically injured test subject that was still alive.
"...Are you listening?" Selena suppressed a sob. Her friend had been playing with her food for the past few minutes.
Anna nodded. "Yes, sorry. Go on."
"No," the platinum blonde crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you even thinking? You didn't hear a word I said."
"I did. You said that the quill writes with the blood that pools into the cuts made on the skin of the writer. Harry has been serving detention in her office, every day at 5 o'clock. Did they bother to inform their Head of House?" Anna managed to maintain a calm appearance. She spoke in a low, private tone, only meant for her friend's ears.
Selena rubbed her fingers underneath her lashes to wipe away some tears. "I... don't know..."
"That's the first thing they should have done, not cry out to other students," the girl stood up from the bench in the Great Hall. It was now prohibited to sit at a table belonging to another house, so Selena had finally reclaimed her original seat by her side. That didn't mean she won't be hanging out with Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, though.
"But... surely she can't do this... right? Right?! You know the rulebook, you've got it memorized. There's got to be something!"
She didn't like the situation either, but for now, her priority was keeping her friend safe. "Professor McGonagall will guide them. The right answer to these questions is I don't know, I'm sorry, and then you excuse yourself politely. Don't hang out with them, don't get involved in their uprising, and don't try to help them in any way. Don't do what you did in our second year when you threw yourself into the catacombs with a live Basilisk only because Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter did, too."
"That was different! We can't let this happen! Can't you talk to Theodore or Mr. Nott? Mr. Malfoy is a Governor. Please?!"
A knot sunk into her stomach as Selena grabbed her arm. Anna sighed deeply. "Mr. Weasley works in proximity to Mr. Malfoy five days a week. Harry has been more or less adopted by the Weasley family. They do not need you or me to pull any strings."
"Yes, but they know you, and they like you, and you are going to be a Nott. Surely it will be different coming from you-!" The blonde walked in front of her friend.
"That's precisely why it cannot come from me! Or you! Or Draco, or Theodore, or anyone from our house. They have means they can use. Should they try to make a revolution, turn this castle upside-down, you won't see me standing in their way, but I cannot aid them in the slightest. Please don't get involved."
"But it breaks my heart," Selena whined, her amber eyes filling up with tears again. "We're friends!"
"So are we," Anna whispered as she stepped around her, "before them."
Sniffling, the ivory-haired girl wiped her eyes again, careful not to ruin her mascara. She had tried everything she could to make Anna change her mind. It should have worked way sooner! Why did she fail? This was her gift. Persuasion was the only ounce of Slytherin she had in her, the spider in the heart of a peony*. She looked over to Ron and Harry and shook her head in defeat.
Right as Anna was about to reach the open doors of the Great Hall, the sound of a glass being hit incessantly with a teaspoon echoed. Umbridge stood up, which had her at almost the same height as a normal person sitting down. She coughed to ready her voice.
"Before you leave, please be reminded that the Assistant positions that some of your colleagues had been occupying have been reviewed by the Ministry of Magic and deemed..."
On her right, Severus resisted the urge of holding his forehead. The sound of this creature's voice was enough to trigger a migraine. He could feel it coming with every syllable. He already knew what her next words were going to be. This left him no excuse to keep tutoring Anna, be in her company, or have her anywhere near.
"...insufficiently regulated and abusively implemented. They are, therefore, abolished, through the Educational Decree no. 25, passed by the Ministry of Magic today."
Pomona leaned over the table to look directly at Dumbledore, silently demanding confirmation. The Headmaster tightened his lips together, then occupied himself with a cup of tea. Flitwick hummed to himself and began mumbling about how he had personally seen the papers through which these posts had been created. Minerva looked at him, expecting some reaction, yet well aware he may not show it.
Severus had heard talks about The Quill. He was almost certain that Selena had been sent by Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to ask Anna for help, since it was much faster than spending days in the library, reading the internal Rulebook of Hogwarts and the laws passed by the Ministry through the years. He could only hope that she won't let herself be dragged into this boiling cauldron of a situation.
He had done without her before. He could do so now. It was not a choice. Any other hope or assumption was foolish. Her feelings were unimportant at the moment, and so were his. An engagement was made. She had a ring on her finger, some jewel that had long been in the Nott family, and before that, Gaunt, or so he heard. Severus despised how deeply that information had slithered into his memory. On top of that, there were rumors still flying around. He could tell by the way half the students and part of his colleagues desperately searched his face and body for any hint of a reaction to losing his dear Assistant. He had his hands clasped together on the table to hide the slightest tremor. He was afraid that should he unclasp his hands, they would pick up his wand, demand his mouth to utter the words, and curse Umbridge into oblivion.
After what seemed like forever, he sat up to leave, only to have Pomona run to catch up.
"Severus? Did you know about this?" She reached for his arm but stopped herself at the last moment. "I can't have Neville anymore. He's such a great help! I was going to show him how to write the inventory this semester. Where is this coming from?"
The man was a bit surprised that the inventory was only coming up this year, but that wasn't the topic. "From the Ministry, Pomona."
"Well, what are you going to do about this?" She looked up with determination and hope.
Severus hated that look. It made the letdown that much more difficult. "There is nothing I can do."
"What about a petition? Would it work? Or... We'll go on strike!"
"You can't have a strike with two people," he calmly stated as they both made their way into the basement. He watched as the light from her eyes dimmed and her shoulders dropped. "I am just as disappointed as you are," he made an attempt to comfort her before parting ways.
In truth, he was far past disappointed. He felt his heart pounding in his throat and his airways squeezing tight. His chest was expanding, but there was little air reaching his lungs. He was unsure if the heartache was physical or not. Once he closed the door to his office, Severus felt the food he had just eaten climb back up, so he rushed to the bathroom to embrace the toilet bowl.
The memory of Lily's tomb didn't make him feel any better. The feeling that he was choosing the wrong side again turned his stomach inside out. He remembered how he felt when he saw her with James, with a ring on her finger, laughing and clinging to his shoulder. He had told himself then that she was happy, and that if she really wanted to marry James, there was nothing he could do about it. It was the moment he plunged into the Dark Arts, completely and without restraint. There was nothing holding him back, and besides, he had to busy himself with something... anything to keep him from thinking of her! Anything to hold him from slipping...
But she's not! Or at least, she doesn't seem... happy. No, Anna is avoiding him, and he is rather distant, too. There is no love between them, that much even he could tell. What difference did it make? They were still going to marry. The ring was already on her finger. Another will follow.
He pulled the hair from his face, waiting a few moments before attempting to stand. His body refused to move. He barely felt his legs. The voice he heard echoed through his mind, a disembodied fantasy that could never be. She was dead, calling to him from the abyss, calling his name from the other side of this hellish...-!
"Severus? Are you alright? What happened?"
When the ghost touched his shoulders to try and help him up, he straightened himself. This was happening, it wasn't just his mind torturing him with fantasies and flickers of wishful thinking. Anna was there, in the flesh, in the same plane of reality as him. What could she think of him after she had seen him in such a disgraceful moment? Why was she even here?
"You can't be here!" Avoiding her blue eyes, he stood, grabbed her arms, and led her through his office towards the door.
"Please," she held onto his arms.
"You are engaged," he stated the obvious. He had known for a few months, but now that she wasn't even his Assistant anymore, it drilled deep into his skull. The last hope of having her in his company had shattered. As he rushed to breathe too deeply, he stopped abruptly. His heart stung again. This was not a fantasy, either.
"Theodore is gay," she blurted out. The girl searched his dark eyes trying to figure him out.
Severus couldn't process that. Was it true? Was this relevant to them? Was this happening because of Theodore? Silence fell between them for a moment, thick and uncomfortable. Thoughts ran around them, tangled until they made even less sense than in the beginning. He avoided her gaze again, but couldn't find a focal point capable of slowing down the hurricane in his skull.
"...Is this some kind of a deal you've made?"
The girl reached for his face and cupped it in her cold hands. "Do you think I feel for Theodore? That I have anything for him?"
They remained frozen for a long time, dark eyes reflecting blue, arms clasped in a tense and distant embrace. Just as she was about to push back and ask him for acceptance again, they heard quick, loud footsteps down the hall coming toward the office. With a look of agreement, Anna rushed into his quarters and closed the door quietly. Severus shut the door to the restroom. Nothing ever happened. He was fine.
"Professor!" Pansy burst through the door, not bothering to knock, "There's a fight outside! Pucey and the Weasley twins." The girl noticed how pale he looked at that particular moment. He was never tanned, but today he seemed a bit... unwell.
Finding no time to gather himself, Severus walked out of his office in a rush, with Pansy struggling to keep up. He had no time to process the information, so he pushed it into a corner of his mind.
"Did anyone inform Mrs. McGonagall?"
"I don't know."
"Then what do you know?" he snapped in response.
Author's note:
*That was a reference to Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. I think many Slytherins and Ravenclaws would love the series, for different reasons. Lestat refers to himself at one point as the "spider in the heart of a rose", or something along that line. I forgot in which book exactly, I'm guessing either The Vampire Lestat or Tale of the Body Thief. However, a rose had thorns, so Selena would rather call herself a peony.
This was supposed to come out ages ago. Apologies for the hiatus.
