Since their confession, the couple began clinging to their newly established identity. There was finally a solid foundation for 'us', the word which has terrified them in the past. However, moving between the Slytherin house and his office was becoming more of a challenge. Mr. Filch was also feeling the chills of blossoming affection. He respected the orders he received from Dolores Umbridge, now Head Inquisitor of Hogwarts, religiously. He took less time to rest. He no longer seemed to care about his one weekly day off. He even ate in a hurry, often taking whatever he could keep in his pocket for later, to eat while patrolling. Reports of his findings rarely got to Severus on time. Now, it was Dolores who would hear of it first.
It wasn't even like they were doing something forbidden. Well, to anyone with a grain of common sense, they weren't. The days when they did meet were very usual. They spent time enjoying hot tea, playing chess, practicing magic, discussing lesson plans, evaluations, documents that needed to be done, new procedures and interdictions passed by Umbridge, or anything that happened. The chess board was now sitting sideways, allowing both players to see their sides while enjoying the warmth of each other's arms. The coasters were aligned on the same side of the table, as well. The quill she received from Severus had found its stand placed on his desk again, thinner and a little bit shorter than his. There was a drawer in his desk where she kept a few of her belongings, mostly books now no longer regarded as appropriate, authored by muggles or the impure.
Slowly, an idea was taking root in her mind, now once again focused and attentive. Anna decided not to tell anyone - she saw no reason for Selena or her friends to know. Severus will, eventually, because if there was any person in the world who she could trust with helping her in case it went terribly wrong, it was him. Although, with such a long and tedious process, she didn't want to worry him too soon.
Every Friday evening, she dressed up for her dates with Theodore. It became enjoyable now that she knew she won't be alone for those hours. At the same time, it offered her the chance to gather everything she needed. Anna kept notes in a journal that she carried with her at all times. When she went to bed, the book was under her pillow. When she bathed, the book rested underneath her change of clothes. When she saw Severus, the book sat in the drawer he allowed her to use. She wrote what she needed, where she could possibly get each ingredient, when, and how. She kept alternative plans and ideas that she continuously evaluated and crossed out.
Today she went out with Theodore again. She saw him meet with Solomon. The Hufflepuff glanced briefly in her direction, giving her a guilty smile, before Theodore grabbed his hand and pulled him along into the Opera House. Anna waved subtly when their eyes met. In a way, they were sharing Theodore... one in public, another in private. With a sigh, she headed back toward a bookshop she noticed on their way to the Opera House. She transfigured a torn page from her notebook into a sparrow and sent it flying to Severus. Then, instead of going straight to her destination, she decided to stray for a few minutes.
Still nervous, but glad they could finally go out again and enjoy what was the closest to a date they could have, Severus folded the note and took his coat. His mind already thought of an excuse, as he was alone, and there was no reason to question his motives. So, when Umbridge inevitably showed up on the steps that led outside, he knew the words to say. "The Apothecary."
The woman looked at him questioning his answer. "At this hour?" She was clutching the Defense Against the Dark Arts book in one hand, her stubby little fingers leaving hand cream stains on the hardcover.
"It's still open for another two hours," Severus replied. He used to judge people by the way they treated books back when he was a teenager. At one point, he couldn't remember when exactly, he had noticed a direct correlation between this behavior and the way those people treated others.
Left wondering, Umbridge stepped aside. "Well, then... It looks like it might rain again."
"I will keep that in mind."
Severus held back a smile. He felt the same way he imagined his students did when they got away with something. Calmly, he walked out of the castle, off the school grounds, towards Hogsmeade, so he could apparate. It was a bright and cold day, the air crisp from the rain that had been falling through the morning. He entered the bookstore looking for his beloved.
He found her in the science aisle, her hair put up, her long brown coat open, and her legs lined by the straight decorative stitching on her stockings. Anna was browsing through the pages of a book on meteorological happenings, oblivious that she had gained an audience. As she read, she thought of how she could use the information. There was no point in buying a book for just half a page of text, so she set it back and took a duplicate with a wandless Geminio, neatly folded into her coat's pocket. Her eyes lit up once she saw Severus. Although still in his usual attire, the cape had been replaced by a black wool trench with a more flattering fit. He wore the collar up, which then flattened down over his chest. The girl walked into his open arms.
"I'm so glad you're here," she smiled up.
The man took half a step back so he could see her better. His date had chosen a white knit turtleneck and a checkered skirt in autumnal shades, tight around her hips and rather short, but still elegant. He never thought those skirts could look anything but vulgar until he saw Anna in one. "So am I. You look beautiful, my dear."
Her smile grew as her eyes lowered. "Thank you. You're very handsome." Her hands trailed down the collar of his coat, feeling the thick wool and its stiff stitching.
Severus tried to hide his surprise. Never, in his life, had he associated that word with his image. A small smile pulled the corners of his mouth as a different type of warmth spread through his chest, climbing into his throat.
"Did you find anything of interest?" he asked. He noticed her red lipstick again, the habit of correcting himself bringing about a sense of shame. Then, he remembered her confession.
"Just passing the time," Anna shrugged off the question. "It's a bit cold, I thought I'd wait for you here."
Severus hesitated as he placed a hand on her upper back. "Do you want to look around some more?"
"I still have a whole shelf I need to read," she answered in amusement. "I've made a mistake," she continued in a light tone, "I've mentioned Vinda Rosier to Bellatrix. She filled my arms with books that she said reminded her of Vinda, and a whole album of newspaper articles and headlines. She said she wants to discuss all of those with me once I'm done reading them."
"I see. Fiction, I suppose...?" Severus felt taken aback. He somehow made it through a few decades around Bellatrix, not opening this topic once. He could understand where Bella's interest would anchor itself. It seemed strange to think of yourself as someone else from history, but completely normal for Bellatrix Black.
"Most are, yes." Anna accompanied him almost mindlessly, leaving the bookshop behind. "Do you have anything in mind for today?"
The wizard was leading her slowly toward the apothecary. "I've had a rather unpleasant encounter," he sighed. "Now, I have to buy something."
Her mind immediately put the pieces together. "Did you tell her the school's stocks were low?"
Severus tried to hold back an amused laugh. Now that he had to admit to having used such a childish excuse, he felt embarrassed. "Perhaps..."
Anna tied the belt to keep her coat closely around herself since she didn't feel cold enough to do the buttons. Her lover stopped in front of her. She watched his hands go over the fabric, large and calloused, but gentle, as he focused on each button. Blood rushed to her cheeks. "Thank you."
He smiled slightly and looked away. A barely noticeable nod indicated that he accepted her thanks.
"What are we buying?" She reached for his hand.
Before he could answer, Severus noticed that the ring from Theodore was no longer on her finger. He held their conjured hands in the pocket of his coat. "Anything we can still find at this hour."
The fresh shelf of the apothecary was bare. The two looked around, comfortable in the quietness, their union concealed by his coat. As Severus asked about a few vials, Anna looked at the chrysalises on display. He let go of her hand for a moment in order to pay and pick up the paper bag with the logo of the shop on one side. Once that was covered, they wandered into a park to walk its narrow alleys between the last flowers of the year still in bloom.
"Tell me if you get cold," he hummed on top of her head. The couple had stopped on the edge of the river that crossed the park and the city, wrapped in each other's arms.
Anna listened to his heartbeat and his breathing, and to the way his chest vibrated when he spoke. She nodded slowly. "I'm well... Are you?" The crisp air made his scent more noticeable, a faint blend of sage, mint, chamomile, and that very specific flavor the air gained in a Potions laboratory or in an Apothecary.
"...Better than I've been in years, if ever." He watched as the river flowed downstream. It was the same as always, but different somehow. The man felt the same. There were feelings surfacing that he had considered long dead. Like weeds in spring, they came back, threatening to take over his entire being. "My dear," he uttered, the words foreign in his mouth.
Anna looked up. Her thoughts were finally slow like muggle authors described them in the books she read of romance stories from the 1880s, with vampires and noblemen and artists, and the tragedy surrounding unlikely love, somehow fading into a happy ending. She looked at Severus as he embodied all of her favorite characters.
"Do you think... if we are together, do you think... you'd be happy? With someone like me..." He wasn't sure if this was his teacher self who asked, or his child self, but he knew he was terrified of the question. It was the tip of an iceberg of insecurity, terrorizing his mind when he pushed away the worries related to the Dark Lord and the war. As her smile slowly faded, he feared the worst.
"Why wouldn't I...?" The simplicity of the question made it genuine.
Severus struggled to answer. He wanted to say that, well... he was himself. That won't satisfy her curiosity, though.
"You could have somebody else... Someone... your age, or younger than me; anyway, better dressed, better educated, from a better family, unmarked..."
Sensing the pain in his words, she reached up to cup his cheek and ask him to look at her. "I don't want somebody else."
"Well, perhaps not now, but in time-"
"In time," she interrupted him, "I want to be by your side."
"You could have someone richer, pure, easier to look at..."
The girl leaned into him. "Your heart is pure, Severus. Even you asking me this shows me you are a good man. You're absolutely brilliant, and I'm afraid I find most people boring after the conversations we have. You're kind and merciful, and patient. You look like the lyrical ideal of gothic and romantic poems. I could stare into your eyes for days. You've got those dreamy, tall cheekbones, and strong jaw, and your shoulders are broad enough to make me feel safe and hidden from the world, and your arms are my greatest comfort..."
The more words poured from her lips, the more his head spun, and a knot was growing in his throat. He blinked to clear his vision. The wind chilled his unspilled tears. Severus decided that he should stop asking himself what it was that has led him to this point in his life. Instead, he leaned down to kiss her more lovingly and deeper than before. His arms locked around her body, holding onto her back through the layers of fabric. The part of him that desperately wanted to feel worthy of breathing, the same one he has been repressing for years, had just swallowed him whole. His suspicion had him search her face for any hint of mockery, but he could only see love. Severus was certain nobody had ever regarded him in that manner, in all of his existence. That look on her face, when she described him as he never dared to think of himself, was burned into his mind.
Just when he thought it couldn't get any better, Anna stood taller than her heels, pushing her toes into the soft ground covered in crunchy leaves, while her arms went around his neck. Her cheeks began to burn when a thought crept up on her - this was a public place. Dark as it was, now that the sun had set, it was still public. How scandalous! It seemed almost funny. Yet, she decided that if Theodore was brave enough to hold Solomon like a lover in the darkness of a theater, then she could do the same now.
