Warning for a brief mention of sexual assault in this chapter.
Chapter 11: Tongue Tied
The next day, Hanako went to the street with the electronics stores. The whole area was a mess, storefronts crammed together amidst low-hanging wires and miscellaneous debris.
She followed the sounds of clattering and scraping to one of the stores and found Kazuichi up to his elbows in a box of scraps.
"Hey."
Kazuichi yelped, slipped on a piece of metal, and fell on his ass. "Don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry?" She held her hands up to show they were empty. "Is it okay if I come in?"
"Yeah, whatever." He went back to digging through whatever junk had caught his interest. "I thought if we found a working computer, we'd be able to communicate with the outside world."
Hanako tamped down hard on the hope that flickered in her chest. "And how's that going?"
"There's a bunch of computers, but most of them are dead. Probably wouldn't be able to connect to a network anyway. I guess radios are another option, but our range would be pretty limited without a tower…"
He trailed off, clearly more interested in searching for something, so she let him be for the moment. She stepped over a pile of flattened cardboard boxes and ventured into the dim interior of the store.
There were several speakers, some nearly as big as the ones in the music venue, but most of them had parts missing or were gutted with severed wires hanging out. She scowled and kicked aside a lighting panel that had fallen from the ceiling.
And then she found it, sitting half-buried on a display counter near the back.
"Oh, fuck yes."
The small speaker still had an mp3 player docked in the center. She extracted it from beneath a pile of broken plastic panels. A little more digging produced a charging cable and an adapter connected to a CD reader. She hugged both to her chest and left the store with her loot.
"Okay, talk to mama." She jabbed the power button on the mp3 player, but the screen stayed dark.
Maybe it was dead. She stuck the charger in a random outlet and plugged in the mp3 player. She stared at the screen for several minutes, but nothing happened.
"Fucking shit." She stood up and kicked a bin full of batteries down the street.
"Hey, what's going on out there?" Kazuichi called from inside.
An idea struck her. Hanako bent down to retrieve the mp3 player and the charger. It wouldn't hurt to ask.
She stepped back into the store. "Um, do you know how to fix electronics?"
He stood up and dusted off his hands. "Mostly just basic stuff. Why?"
"I don't think this mp3 player is working," she said, trying to sound as disinterested as possible. "If you're not busy, maybe you could take a look."
Kazuichi waded back to the front of the store and took the mp3 player. "Yeah, I'll see if I can fix it."
"Cool. I'll owe you a favor."
"Huh?" His eyebrows shot up. "Really?"
"Yeah, obviously." She glared at him. "Provided you actually fix it."
"Sure thing, Yukimura." He grinned, and she regretted saying anything. "I'll start working on in right away."
"No rush." Still scowling, she gathered up the rest of her loot and set off down the street.
It wasn't long before someone knocked on the door of her cottage.
Hanako pushed herself off her bed and went to answer it. After cleaning up the wrecked remains of her CD player, she'd thrown herself into drawing and tried not to think about how badly she wanted to listen to music, and how much she was dreading actually getting the mp3 player back.
She hated owing other people. She especially hated the idea of owing someone like Kazuichi. But it was better to settle the debt now than to wait for him to bring it up later.
"Hey." She opened the door and, as she'd expected, Kazuichi was on the other side. "That was fast."
"Turns out it was out of battery." He handed the mp3 player to her. "Just had to wait for it to charge. I tested most of the functions, and it seems to be working fine."
Hanako blinked rapidly. "Wait, but I tried charging it and nothing happened."
He shrugged. "Maybe the outlet wasn't working. I think most of Electric Avenue isn't hooked up properly."
She looked down at the mp3 player and saw her idiot face reflected in the screen.
"So…" He scratched the back of his neck. "Are you still game for that favor?"
She looked at him from the tops of her eyes. "If you ask for something weird, I will knock your teeth out."
"What? Something weird?" He let out a slightly forced laugh. "No way." His expression sobered. "I was actually going to ask if you would give me a tattoo."
Hanako straightened. "Really?"
"Um, yeah. Is that too big of an ask?"
"Not at all." She hesitated. "You want me to do it right now?"
"Sure."
She stepped back so he could enter her cottage, then set the mp3 player next to her headphones.
Kazuichi went to examine her tattoo supplies. "Wow, this looks like a pretty intense setup."
"It's not bad, all things considered. Did you have a design in mind?"
"Not really. I was thinking something sophisticated though."
Her eyes narrowed. "Sophisticated."
"Yeah. Like…" He thought for a moment, then threw his hands up. "I don't know. Aren't you the artistic one?"
"God help me," she muttered under her breath. She dug out her book of designs and tossed it at him. "Pick out something you like."
He sat on the sofa and started flipping through the book. Hanako perched on her work chair and started scrolling through the music on the mp3 player. It was mostly pop and rock songs from several years ago, but there were a few good choices in the mix.
"Hey, what about this one?" Kazuichi lifted the book and pointed to a simplistic design of a European castle.
Hanako tried not to let her skepticism show on her face. "You went to Disneyland when you were younger?"
He cleared his throat. "Well, no. I just thought it…looked nice."
She couldn't help the sarcasm bleeding into her tone as she said, "Well, maybe we could pop over to the library and see if we can find a picture of Novoselic's flag."
"That could work." He blinked. "Hey, what are you bringing up that for?"
She shot him a deadpan look. "So you're not getting a tattoo to impress Sonia?"
He spluttered for a moment, then his shoulders fell. "Well, yeah. I saw how she was looking at your tattoos back at the diner. By the way, was there one in particular she seemed interested in?"
Hanako stared at him. Kazuichi's obsession was pathetic, mostly, but it was also a little endearing. Almost. It was ninety-five percent pathetic and five percent endearing.
"Okay." She propped her hands on her knees. "Normally I don't give a crap about what other people put on their bodies. I keep my mouth shut and get the work done. But since we're…" Not friends. "…stuck on this island together, I'm gonna be honest with you."
He blinked. "All right, then."
"If a guy got a tattoo of something I liked just to impress me, I'd be skeeved the fuck out. If you really want one, you're better off getting something that's meaningful to you. Since, you know, it's permanent."
"I see." He nodded slowly. "Miss Sonia will be way happier if I be my authentic self."
Hanako rubbed one of her temples. "I honestly can't tell if you got the message or not."
Kazuichi didn't answer, already engrossed in the book of designs again, so she went back to scrolling through the mp3 player.
Her mind began to wander, and the names of the songs began to blur before her eyes. She'd never actually had someone get a tattoo just to impress her. And while she completely understood Sonia's aversion to Kazuichi, she wondered what would happen if she actually returned his feelings. If they had an actual couple in their group.
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
He looked up from the book. "Sure."
"How do you, like, live with yourself?"
Kazuichi's expression twisted. "Huh?"
Hanako rubbed a hand over her face. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant, how do you justify having a crush on someone when people are dying?"
"I try not to think about the 'people dying' part." He let out a weak chuckle. "It's easier to focus on the positive, y'know? It gives me something to look forward to."
She clasped her elbows with both hands. "What if something happened to her?"
"To Miss Sonia?" His eyes widened. "Well, that would be impossible, right? I can't believe anyone could kill someone as wonderful as her. And I'd gladly give my life to save hers, you know?"
Hanako stared at him, hard. He actually believed what he was saying. And she didn't ever want to see those beliefs tested.
"Whatever." She flicked a piece of dust off the hem of her jeans. "I guess that's what I get, asking you for relationship advice."
Kazuichi went back to the book, then looked up again. "Wait, does that mean you have a crush on someone here?"
"No," she said, though she could already feel her cheeks flushing. "I mean, maybe. Whatever. It's none of your business, anyway."
He straightened and pushed the book to the side. "It's not Miss Sonia, is it?"
"It is not Sonia, but for the record, I have a way better chance with her than you."
"As if." He scoffed. "There's no way Miss Sonia is like that."
"Like that?" Her expression dropped into a scowl. "What, you think there's something wrong with liking girls?"
"No, no!" He held up his hands in surrender. "There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian! I just don't think Miss Sonia is one."
"Okay." She relaxed a little. "Also, I'm bi. Not that it matters."
"Wait, does that mean you have a crush on m—"
"No."
Kazuichi put his chin in his palm, looking like he was mentally running through a list of all the students on the island. Hanako started thinking of ways to kick him out of her cottage.
"Is it Hinata?"
"No. Stop guessing."
"Oh. Then it's Mioda."
Hanako pressed her lips together.
His face lit up in a grin. "I'm right, aren't I? You totally have the hots for Mioda!"
"Shut up." She wished she had something to throw at him. Her face was burning. "This conversation is getting totally off track, anyway."
Kazuichi pointed an accusing finger at her. "You're the one who started talking about crushes in the first place!"
"Not true." Had she? Was she that caught up in her own dilemma?
"Is too." He leaned back in his seat. "Anyway, why haven't you asked her out already?"
Her stomach swooped like she'd missed a step going down the stairs. Her face was still hot, and she felt, weirdly, like she wanted to cry.
"I already said." She gripped the leather of the chair beneath her. "People are dying every few days. Why would I bother with asking someone out?"
"I mean…" He shrugged. "Why bother with anything, you know? We still try to do things that are normal, right?"
Hanako picked at the loose threads in the hole in her jeans. That was true—she still hung out with the others, still considered Hajime and Ibuki to be her friends. She couldn't just cut herself off from everyone.
"Hey, if you do pull it off with Mioda, maybe you could give me some tips for asking out Miss Sonia," Kazuichi said.
She sighed and met his gaze. "Do you want my honest advice?"
"Uh, sure."
"Number one: Drop the 'Miss.' It's weird and everyone else can tell she doesn't like it. Number two…" She hesitated. This wasn't something she liked to talk about, but today was already weird.
Fuck it. I'm already spilling my guts here.
"I'm gonna tell you about something that happened to me when I was younger. It was a few months after I started working at the tattoo parlor. There was this guy that came in, thought I was older than I was, started hitting on me. Most guys find it hard to flirt when there's a needle stabbing their skin, so I just ignored him.
"After his third session, he asked me out. I told him to fuck off, and he cursed me out and left. I thought that was it." She went back to picking at her jeans. "When I was walking to the bus stop that night, he jumped me and tried to…you know. I got away from him before he could do anything. Almost ripped off his ear in the process. Never saw him again after that."
Kazuichi's eyes were wide with horror. "I'd never do something like that."
"I'm not saying you would. But every single time a guy would hit on me after that, I would think about what might happen if I said no." She swallowed. "No matter what, you have to make sure Sonia knows it's safe if she rejects you. You owe her that."
"Yeah. Okay." He shifted in his seat. "I get where you're coming from."
"Good." She smiled coldly. "And if you do anything weird to her, you should know I know exactly how much pressure it takes to remove a human ear."
"I get it, okay?" He tugged on his beanie to cover the tops of his ears. "Loud and clear."
"Cool. You still want that tattoo or what?"
"I'm actually pretty tired." He let out an awkward chuckle and stood up. "I might just head back to my cottage. Maybe another time, yeah?"
"I'm here whenever."
"Thanks. And good luck with Mioda."
He was out the door before she could snap at him.
Hanako sighed and flopped back against the chair. She was still reeling from the fact that she'd had a deep conversation about relationships with Kazuichi Souda, of all people.
She rubbed absently at the box she'd drawn on her knee. Did Ibuki feel safe with her? If she asked her out and Ibuki said no, then it would be fine. They would still be friends. She wasn't a creep that would keep pushing boundaries.
She just wanted to be happy.
"Fuck it," Hanako muttered under her breath. She sat up and strode to the door.
She peeked out and scanned the walkway, but no one else was outside. She wasn't sure what she was afraid of. It wasn't like people could look at her and see her intentions emblazoned on her face.
Steeling herself, she crossed the walkway and knocked on Ibuki's door.
After a torturous thirty seconds, the door swung open and Ibuki's bright grin greeted her.
"Hiya, Yukimura. What brought you to my doorstep?"
"Hi. Do, um, did you…" She tried to remember how to construct a sentence. "Do you wanna come over tonight? To my cottage? And we can, like, hang."
"Ooh, what are we hanging? Popcorn? Christmas lights?"
"No, I meant like— I mean, that's fine. I'm cool with whatever."
Holy fuck, this is pathetic.
"Hey, since you smashed up your CD player, how about some live music?" She winked. "I could bring my guitar."
"Yeah. I found an mp3 player, so we could also check that out." She realized she was gesturing with her hands too much and stuck them in her pockets. "It's up to you. We can just do whatever."
"You seem pretty keen on whatever." She leaned forward. "I like a little improv on the stage, but a girl's gotta have a plan, you know?"
"I have a plan." It started with getting Ibuki into her cottage, ended with trying for a kiss, and the middle was a jumbled mess of anxiety, but that was still something, wasn't it?
"Oh, yeah?"
"It's a surprise."
"You got me in suspense, Yukimura. See you tonight!"
After Ibuki closed the door, Hanako retreated back to her cottage and let out a long sigh.
She was so fucked.
Hanako tapped her foot restlessly against the wall, curled up on the couch with the mp3 player cradled between her hands. She'd spent the past several hours downloading the music from her CDs onto the device and organizing it all into a decent playlist.
Of course, there was the possibility that Ibuki would play her own music the whole time, but she wanted to be prepared. And she really needed something to keep her from imploding into her own anxiety.
When a knock sounded at the door, she scrambled to her feet. Numbness buzzed up her leg—it must have fallen asleep from being bent under her for so long. She cursed and nearly fell over.
Well, this is a great start. She hadn't even checked herself in the mirror or bothered to straighten up.
She settled for running her fingers through her bangs a couple times, then answered the door.
"Good night!" Ibuki spread her arms. She had her guitar slung on her back and a plastic grocery bag in one hand. "I wonder why more people don't use that as a greeting. It's basically the same as saying good morning but, you know, at night."
Despite her nerves, Hanako smiled. "Good night to you, too." She stepped aside to let her in.
Ibuki waltzed inside and dumped a bunch of plastic packages on the bed, along with a blue glass bottle. "I brought snacks!"
Hanako picked up the bottle and examined the label. "Lust Setsugekka?" Her eyes widened. "Is this sake?"
"Well, not exactly."
Her eyes found the print at the bottom of the label. Non-alcoholic.
Ibuki must have seen her expression fall, and started to speak more quickly. "Ibuki found it in the vending machine and thought the bottle looked cool. But we don't have to drink it—"
"No, no this is cool. It's super cool." Hanako cracked open the plastic seal and took a swig. It definitely tasted like sake. She held it out to Ibuki, then hesitated. "I could probably find some cups, or…"
Ibuki was already grabbing the bottle and tilting it back. "That's some good stuff."
Hanako realized she'd forgotten to eat dinner. That was fine, though. They had food here, and it wasn't like drinking non-alcoholic sake on an empty stomach would actually do anything.
A beat of silence passed, and she spun towards the couch. Her palms were sweating. She wiped them on her jeans and picked up the mp3 player.
"I, uh, put together a playlist of songs I thought were cool."
Ibuki swung her guitar to her front and flopped down on the bed like it was her own. "What's it called?"
"Uh…" She'd made it with one person in mind, so the title made sense, but her cheeks still blazed as she read it aloud. "Mioda. Since, y'know, you're the only person besides me who likes this type of music. I think."
"An island of metal in a sea of softer music. Ooh, I should write that one down." She strummed a few notes on her guitar with one hand and reached out with the other. "Gimme."
Hanako passed her the mp3 player, then grabbed her sketchbook and sat on the bed, making sure to keep a respectable distance between them. She scribbled an island of metal in a sea of softer music on an empty page.
"Whatcha doing over there?"
"Remember when you said you wanted someone to follow you around and record all your lyric ideas because you kept forgetting to write them down?" She flipped the book over so Ibuki could see. "I got you covered."
She smiled and strummed the guitar, still scrolling through the mp3 player with her free hand. "She was a metalhead transcriber," she sang, "She had a… What rhymes with transcriber?"
Hanako leaned back against the bedpost. "Vibe…r?"
"You're fired."
"You can't fire me. I quit." She reached for the bottle of sake and took another swig. This was good. This was easier than she'd thought it'd be.
They passed the bottle back and forth while Ibuki brainstormed lyrics and Hanako wrote them down. She bounced between dark and humorous lyrics so fast it almost made her dizzy (or maybe that was just the non-alcoholic sake. Was it possible to get drunk off a placebo?)
Her nerves began to melt away, and soon she was giggling and scribbling doodles in between the words she'd written. Ibuki scooted closer and looked over the top of the paper.
"What, are you designing a tattoo over here? You could probably paste the whole thing on someone's back, but then I might have to sue them for copyright infringement."
Hanako glanced up at her. "Getting a tattoo of a song lyric is so cheesy."
She smiled back, unfazed by how close they were. "Where's yours?"
"I don't…" She rolled her eyes, but couldn't keep a straight face. "It's on my side."
Ibuki raised an expectant eyebrow, and Hanako set her sketchpad aside. She lifted her shirt up to the bottom of her bra and twisted a little so she could see it better. Her skin tingled, even though Ibuki was only touching her with her gaze.
"Yukimura, is that from 'Lazy Vibrations?'" she asked, her lips stretching into a grin.
"It's a good song." She attempted a defensive glare, then reached past her for the mp3 player. "I think I actually have it on here."
She stood up to plug it into the speaker, and her balance teetered for a moment. She grabbed the sake bottle with her free hand and squinted at the label. "Are you sure this is alcohol free?"
"I dunno." Ibuki made a grab for it. Hanako took another swig and passed it to her.
She scrolled through the playlist until she found the song she was looking for, then connected it to the speaker and turned up the volume. The first guitar chords filled the room, and Hanako couldn't help moving her hips to the beat.
"Hell yeah, Yukimura! Show me your moves!" Ibuki slipped out of the guitar strap and jumped up to join her.
They both ended up belting out the lyrics to 'Lazy Vibrations.' They passed the sake bottle back and forth in between songs, and Hanako was beginning to suspect that there was something in there that was making her warm and relaxed and exhilarated all at once.
Maybe it was just Ibuki. She was just as electric as she'd been on stage, her hair flailing and her limbs moving with endless energy. When Hanako stopped dancing to catch her breath, Ibuki grabbed both of her hands, and suddenly it wasn't so difficult to keep moving.
She was so pretty. This was one of the only times she'd really felt okay since coming to the island. The two of them had fun every time they spent time together. So didn't that make it all right to ask for a little more?
In the silence between songs, Ibuki grinned and slung her arms over Hanako's shoulders. Instinctively, she grabbed her by the waist. Together, they turned a half-circle in the center of the room.
Hanako was tipsy enough not to second-guess herself before she leaned forward and kissed her.
When they broke apart, Ibuki let out a tiny "Oh," and her stomach dropped.
Fuck, should I have asked before I did that?
"Was that okay?" she tried to say, but then Ibuki was kissing her again, so enthusiastically it caught her off guard. She tightened her grip on her waist to keep her balance. Her fingers slipped between the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her skirt, across a strip of soft skin. She was so warm.
Experimentally, she let her hand wander further, up beneath her shirt to the curve of her waist. Ibuki had slowed down with her kisses, but they were a little more intense now. Hanako felt her tongue brush against her lower lip, and a ball of heat shot all the way down to the bottom of her torso.
She backed up towards her bed, pulling Ibuki with her. The frame bumping against the back of her knees startled her a little, and she sat down half on accident.
Ibuki was right there with her, climbing on the bed and straddling her lap and kissing her some more. Hanako let her hands move with a bit more daring, settling on her hips and sliding down to the hem of her skirt, then trailing back upwards to the soft skin at the tops of her thighs. Ibuki let out a tiny, shuddering breath, and she stopped moving her hands.
"Hey." She swallowed. Her mouth felt dry all of a sudden. "Um, is this your first time?"
A smirk curved her lips. "I dunno, what do you have planned for tonight?"
Hanako felt her face flush all the way to her hairline.
"Yeah," she whispered, which was definitely not a valid answer to the question. "I mean. Whatever you want. Whatever you're okay with."
It caught her off guard when Ibuki reached up and squeezed her shoulders.
"You should relax. We're gonna enjoy ourselves tonight, right?"
"I'm relaxed," she said, even though anxiety had resumed its curling in her stomach. It was definitely the sake that made her say, "I just don't wanna fuck this up."
Ibuki laughed, though it was softer than usual. "There's no way you can mess this up."
Her blush returned, along with a flush of mortification when she realized she wanted to cry. "Okay."
"Come on." Ibuki guided her by her shoulders to lie back against the bed.
Hanako pulled her down into another kiss and relaxed. This was okay. Of course this was okay.
She let her hands wander again, across the smooth skin on her back and up to the edge of her bra. Ibuki settled on top of her, one hand caressing just above her hip, and when she moved her fingers to the button of her jeans, Hanako didn't feel like she had to brace herself.
She let herself smile, and didn't care if Ibuki felt it against her lips.
The title of this chapter comes from Tongue Tied by Grouplove. It's a really fun and punchy song that fits Hanako and Ibuki perfectly.
Lust Setsugekka is one of the items from the Monomono Machine, the description says it's nonalcoholic but will still get you drunk.
The scene with Hanako and Kazuichi got way longer than I expected lol. They have more chemistry than I anticipated, which is good. I don't really like how he is in the game so I'm lowkey trying to rehabilitate him in this fic.
