Chapter 20: Do Me a Favor

Her dream came in suffocating flashes. She was at a concert, pressed in a crowd of people. Groping hands reached for her chest, her thighs, her arms. She elbowed away from them, squeezing through the throng of people, each breath too thin in her lungs.

She broke free and caught herself against the edge of the stage. There was no band, despite the flashing lights and music blasting from the speakers. A thin shadow twirled across the stage. She looked up.

Ibuki, hanging by her neck, swaying along to the music.

Everything went dark. Hanako didn't realize she was screaming until she had to stop for air. Sickly green light flooded the room, and she lurched towards the person silhouetted in the doorway.

"We have to get her down, we have to get her down—"

"Hey, hey, calm down." Akane grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back onto the bed. "It was just a dream. Get a hold of yourself."

"But she was there." She struggled uselessly against Akane's grip. "I couldn't, I couldn't—"

Her throat was raw. Her lungs spasmed uselessly. She brought one hand to her neck just to make sure there was no rope around it.

A yawn sounded from the doorway. "Is everything okay? I heard screaming."

"Yukimura just had a nightmare." Akane relaxed her grip once she made sure Hanako wasn't going to get up again. "I got this."

Chiaki leaned to the side to get a better look at her face, the sleepiness in her eyes fading into concern. "Are you sure?"

Hanako tried for another breath. She felt a sob fighting to escape. The air smelled like grapes, and fucked up as it was, it helped ground her a little.

"I got it," Akane said.

"Okay." Chiaki left the door open so the room would get some light.

Akane sat next to her on the bed. "You can cry if you want to."

"What?" Hanako rasped.

"You know, since you saw me crying all those times at the hospital. I guess this way we can get a little even."

She opened her mouth to protest, but her voice cracked before she could get the first word out. She gulped back a sob, then let the next force its way up her throat. The tears came fast and hot. She buried her face in her knees and cried until she was out of breath. She thought of Ibuki hanging on the stage. The way her hand had felt after she'd died. Dancing together in her cottage. The taste of sake on her lips when they'd kissed.

Mikan, rubbing the center of her back to comfort her.

She sniffled and dragged her hands over her eyes. Her face felt swollen, heavy. At least she'd had the good luck of being drunk the last time she'd cried like this.

That was one night ago, she reminded herself. Your life has become such a disaster that your days are starting to feel like weeks.

Akane had her hands in her lap and was staring at the far wall like she was watching television and not witnessing someone have a crying fit. "D'you feel any better?"

Hanako dried the underside of her chin. "Is crying supposed to feel good?"

"I dunno. I guess it's kind of like… Well, Coach was telling me you need to find a healthy outlet for all of your emotions. It's like taking a shit. It's just something that needs to come out every once in a while."

"That does sound like something Nidai would say."

"He can be pretty smart sometimes."

With a sigh, she stretched out her legs. "We're square, okay? You don't have to babysit me. Go hang out with Nidai tomorrow."

Akane blinked and finally turned to face her. "Why are you saying that?"

"Because he's still here." She tried to keep her lip from trembling. "Don't you dare waste that."

"I guess I get what you're trying to say." She stood and stretched her arms above her head. "I hope we get out of here soon so we can eat."

"I know," she replied, and the room was plunged into darkness when Akane closed the door.


"You know, I was hoping since we're trapped in a torture house with no windows that you guys might let me sleep in for once."

Sonia shot her an apologetic smile from her doorway. "I apologize for waking you, but we did all let you sleep in. It is well into the afternoon."

Hanako grimaced and let her head fall back onto her pillow. "Fuck, really?"

"I wanted to see if you were feeling alright. Physically, that is. I know the hunger is beginning to take its toll on everyone."

She felt weak and hazy, but there was no hunger. Her stomach just hurt.

"How are you holding up?" Hanako asked, hoping the deflection would work.

"I am hungry as well, but I still have a little bit of energy. I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"Yeah?"

"I found some art supplies and thought it might be useful to make name plates for everyone's door. Would you like to design them with me?"

"Oh."

Name plates. Sonia was asking for help with busy work. For a single, stupid second, she'd hoped there was something to actually do in here.

She was silent for long enough that Sonia continued, "I was impressed with your artistic skill with the cookies you decorated and…and the concert invitations. I thought it might be a good way to pass the time."

It would just be another tally of the people they had yet to lose. It had been less each time, from the cookies to the concert invitations, and now she would only have ten name plates to draw.

She understood now why Hiyoko had made that shrine for Mahiru in the restaurant. It had been physical evidence that she'd existed at all. There were no graves on the island, just empty cottages. The Funhouse was so removed from all of it. She could picture Ibuki's ghost in her cottage, the restaurant, the music venue, but it was impossible to imagine her against a backdrop of grapes or strawberries.

"If you are not interested, then it is not a problem," Sonia said, breaking her from her reverie. "I will be fine doing them by myself."

"No." Gingerly, she sat up. "I can help you."

"Marvelous." She clapped her hands. "Let us move to the lounge."

They sat at the table, which already had a stack of papers and a few markers spread out. Hanako wrinkled her nose at the cheap quality, but it was better than nothing at all.

"It seems we will be able to obtain a few things as long as they are not edible," Sonia said, "or weapons, I suppose."

Hanako uncapped the black marker. "Well, make sure not to get a paper cut, or they might get confiscated."

Sonia laughed, though Hanako hadn't really intended for her comment to be funny. Maybe Sonia just had a convincing pity-laugh.

They drew in silence for a while, and though she would never admit it out loud, it was a little calming. Hanako sketched out an arcade machine design for Chiaki's door. Sonia filled Akane's with motivational phrases like "You just can't beat the person who won't give up," and "It's not how we fall, it's how we get back up again." Hanako was glad she was tactful enough not to include any drawings of food.

She'd just finished Kazuichi's when Sonia slid a paper towards her.

"Do you think you could help with drawing Gundham's hamsters? I believe you have more skill drawing animals than I do."

Hanako almost smiled. "Yeah, sure. There's the three little ones and the fat one, right?"

"Well, there is more that differentiates them than just size. Mirage Golden Hawk Jum-P has a little chip in his ear, which I am told came from a fierce battle with a squirrel."

She started sketching the shape of the first hamster. "You've really gotten to know him, huh?"

"He is very spirited. Apparently he used to be quite greedy with his food and would steal it from the others. Oh, and he is light brown with a white underbelly."

Hanako blinked. "I meant Tanaka, not the hamster."

"Oh." Sonia laughed again, and out of the corner of her eye, Hanako could see a dusting of pink on her cheeks. "How silly of me. Yes, we have been spending a bit of time together lately."

A few weeks ago, Hanako might have teased her about it. She might have considered it cute, if it weren't for the growing pit in her stomach. She wondered which of their grief would be worse to witness.

"I'm sorry," Sonia said, the cheerfulness gone from her voice. "It's insensitive for me to speak about such things."

"Don't apologize. I brought it up." Hanako realized she was pressing too hard with the marker and tried to soften the dark circle of ink she'd created.

Sonia was quiet for a moment. "Do you believe in an afterlife, Yukimura?"

She scoffed. "I was kind of hoping the point of death was that you could get a fucking break from everything."

"Perhaps." She began lining up the markers in a neat row in the middle of the table. "I suppose there is a certain peace in that idea. Though I would like to think that our friends who have passed can still see us. They know we have not given up hope yet."

I have, Hanako thought, and a lump rose in her throat. The idea that Ibuki was witnessing everything she'd done since her death filled her with shame. And the idea of Mikan watching her shove pills down her throat…a shiver wracked her so violently she had trouble holding the marker steady.

"Are you alright?" Sonia reached a hand towards her, but Hanako pulled away.

"We know there are people watching us." She indicated the camera mounted on the wall. "Not just Monokuma. Whichever sick fucks brought us to this island."

"The Future Foundation?" She withdrew her hands and folded them on the table with a sigh. "I'd hoped we might have uncovered some more substantial information about them here. It seems that was just another piece of bait from Monokuma."

"Of course it was. They're never going to give us anything they don't want us to have."

They finished the name plates in silence. Hanako took an extra paper and scrawled a few words on it, then stood and gathered up five of the name plates.

"I'm going to take these to Strawberry House. I'll see you later."

"Alright. Thank you for helping me with these." Sonia leaned over to look at the message she'd angled towards the camera and smiled slightly. "I am glad to see a little bit of fight in you again."

"Sure." She held the papers against her chest, though she couldn't help but feel a small amount of satisfaction thinking about her message:

FUCK YOU FUTURE FOUNDATION.


Hanako had only just stepped off the elevator when Nekomaru came clanking down the stairs. He flashed her a wide, metallic grin.

"Good evening, Yukimura. Looking for a change of scenery?"

The door to the Final Dead Room flashed in her periphery. For the first time in days, she felt something that might have been hunger. She had a chance, now. She could be inside before anyone could stop her.

Trying to keep her voice casual, she raised her stack of papers. "Sonia and I made name plates for everybody. Mind putting these on everyone's doors? I don't know the room assignments for Strawberry House."

Nekomaru let out his usual boisterous laugh. "Leave it up to a princess to find something productive to do while we're all stuck in here. Sure, I'll help put them up." He stepped towards her, then hesitated. "Well, uh, actually I was gonna spend a few minutes on this floor and do some stretches."

Hanako raised her eyebrows. "Stretches?"

"Even in this body, I need to keep myself in good shape." He began rotating his torso and cast a poorly-disguised glance at the Final Dead Room.

Is he on guard duty or something? Irritation flared in her like a rub of sandpaper, and she yanked the papers back towards her chest.

"Forget it. I'll just put these in the lounge."

As she made to walk past him, he put an arm out to stop her.

"Listen, Yukimura. I know we don't know each other that well, but I can see that you're a lot stronger than you think. So—"

"I promise you I am not strong at all," she said, and hated the way her voice shook. "There is no secret inner strength in me that you can inspire, so whatever motivational speech you have planned, just can it and do your stretches."

She ducked under his arm and hurried up the stairs.

Thankfully, no one else accosted her as she made her way to the lounge, and once she'd slapped the name plates onto the table, she had a moment to stop and think.

The clock indicated that it was almost eight at night. It was way earlier than her usual bedtime, but she was already exhausted. Apparently walking up stairs was enough to nearly wind her at this point. She couldn't stomach the thought of returning to Grape House anyway, and enduring Sonia's gentle questions or Hajime's disappointed gaze. Or seeing Ibuki in her sleep.

The farthest she could physically get from all of that was the top floor of Strawberry House, so she gathered her remaining strength and trudged up the final flight of stairs.

The floor was nauseatingly pink but blessedly empty. She entered the small play area and lowered herself onto one of the swings to give her shaking legs a break. She closed her eyes and pressed her chapped lips together.

A person could theoretically go weeks without food, but the limit for water was only a few days. There were no water fountains in here, no IV drips. If the others really wanted to keep her alive, they could probably hold her face under one of the sinks in the bathroom, but…

Hanako propped her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. They were all trying so hard for her, even the ones who didn't know about the pills. She'd never had people in her life care this much, and she was finally getting it when she didn't want it anymore.

Heavy footsteps made her look up. Gundham was striding towards the little garden next to the play area, and she watched his hamsters scamper into the foliage. If he'd noticed her, he didn't say anything. She lowered her head again, hoping she wouldn't have to worry about Gundham of all people trying to check in with her.

Maybe she should never have tried to make friends with any of them in the first place. It would have made it easier for them to let her go, for her to let them go. At least she wouldn't have been stupid enough to take pity on Mikan.

A small, orange shape darted across the floor and up her leg.

"Shit." She almost kicked it off until she realized it was a hamster. It settled on her thigh, sniffing the loose threads on her jeans. Its little feet tickled her skin as it moved.

"Fear not. Supernova Silver Fox San-D will not attack without my command."

It was until Gundham spoke that she realized how tense she was, her hands gripping the chains of the swing. Her previous experiences with rodents crawling up her legs mostly involved rats, and those motherfuckers bit hard.

Hanako forced herself to relax, trying not to squirm as San-D wandered up her leg, tiny nose twitching.

Gundham approached the swing set, arms crossed. The other three hamsters peeked out from the top of his thick scarf. "You reek of fear. However, San-D may be appeased if you scratch his head."

It took her a moment to realize Gundham was giving her actual advice. She stretched out one hand, ready to pull back if the thing actually did sink its teeth into her, and gently ran her index finger over San-D's head. His fur was surprisingly soft. San-D stopped moving and let her pet him again. He was so small. She found herself wondering how his fur would feel against her cheek.

"He's really cute," she murmured.

"A deceptively disarming appearance," Gundham said, sounding pleased. "I saw the document bearing my name that you left in the lounge. I was intrigued by the accuracy with which you portrayed the temporary forms of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction."

"That was Sonia's idea," she said, still petting San-D since he hadn't told her to stop. "She seems to know your…Devas a lot better than I do."

"I see." She glanced up in time to see Gundham pull his scarf up to hide the redness on his face. "The Dark Lady has acclimated well to the aura of shadow that surrounds my minions."

She lowered her gaze, suddenly wishing she could leave. She wished she could look at something like Gundham's blush and find it funny and endearing instead of heartbreaking.

"I must away." Gundham straightened his coat with a flourish, and she was relieved that he was taking the initiative to break off the conversation. "San-D seems content in your presence, so you may consider yourself safe for the time being. He will return to me when he sees fit."

"O…kay," she said as Gundham swept out of the room. She looked down at San-D, who blinked his beady black eyes. "Do you even know what the hell is going on?"

I'm actually talking to a fucking hamster. I've officially reached a new level of crazy.

She sighed. At least San-D wouldn't give her a pitying look or ask her if she was okay and was she really going to kill herself. Maybe Gundham had the right idea, spending more time with hamsters than humans.

"Do you know what a killing game is?" she murmured. "Does that make any sense to your pea-sized brain? Are you happier just eating seeds and spinning on your wheel all the time?"

Her fingers stilled, and San-D went back to sniffing her jeans. She'd never had a pet growing up. It was an unfamiliar feeling, looking down and seeing something small and innocent and helpless. She could crush its body with her fist if she wanted. It was a simple, terrifying choice, to either protect or destroy.

She'd spent most of her life seeking a third option, wanting people to just leave her alone.

Gingerly, she scooped San-D into her hands and set him down in the small garden.

"You take care, okay?"

Before she could ponder why she was still talking to a hamster, she left for Grape House.

This chapter is titled after Do Me a Favour by Arctic Monkeys. Thank you all for reading!