Author's note: I know, it's been a while since the last chapter… This one has been incredibly difficult to write. It contains a description of sexual assault which I have tried to make as bearable to read as possible. However, if you would like to skip it, stop reading after "I may have to use some persuasion" and skip all the way to the last line. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 4
It felt like the journey was going to be endless. Her head brimming with quiet dread, all strength drained out of her body, Marian rode alongside the soldiers like a lifeless doll. With each step her horse took, she renewed her prayer that the Sheriff had not been alerted to her suspicious errand. Too lost in thought to pay attention to anything about her surroundings, she did not even notice one of the riders nodding to his companions and taking off in a different direction.
They stood behind her as she unlocked the gate of Blidsworth castle, ominous in the deafening silence. She had to bear the humiliation of being escorted all the way back inside the Great Hall, but as soon as she managed to find some solace in the fact that no one had been awaken by their intrusion, she sensed that something was wrong. Everything seemed all too quiet. The room was barely lit by the feeble light of the moon coming through the windows, but this glow was enough for her to detect a silhouette standing at the far side of the Hall.
'My Lady, it is good of you to have come back. I was so worried.' The mysterious intruder uttered as he slowly made their way to her.
Marian's breath got caught in her throat.
'Sheriff!' She said in a dry voice, 'I do not understand why you ordered these men to prevent me from reaching my ill mother, nor do I know what could have possibly motivated your intrusion in the middle of the night. I believe I am not yet captive in my own castle!'
'God forbid I would give you such an impression!' Nottingham replied with a fawning smile before ordering 'I'd like to talk to you somewhere more… private. The kitchens maybe?'
As one of the Sheriff's men touched her shoulder gently, Marian weighed in her options. Putting all her weight on him, kicking him in the crotch, and running? By the time she managed to open the doors to the courtyard, they would catch her. Screaming until someone came for help? Who knew what the Sheriff was capable of. And there was the small matter of remaining the only member of the nobility that had not become either an accessory in the coup against Richard or an outlaw. There was the Merry Men and their families to think about. There was Robin to think about. It only took the passing thought of what Nottingham could lead her own mother to believe if it could serve his purpose for Marian to freeze in dazed consternation.
'I am able to walk by myself, thank you.' She said icily as she finally stepped into the kitchens.
As dark as the Great Hall had been, she had been able to make out her surroundings. When he locked the door behind them, banishing the last ray of moonlight, she was met with complete darkness. For one second, and one second only, she allowed herself to believe that this was all in her head. Perhaps she was in bed, her sheets a barrier against the outside world, dreaming something terrible was about to happen. Only dreaming. But then his voice echoed against the walls of the room, throwing itself onto her, all her senses registered the aggression. She was indeed wide awake.
'My Lady, I apologise for the way in which you were greeted this evening. You need to forgive my men, years of service in the King's army have done terrible damage to their manners.' She had been bracing herself for the threats of a man who loved to use and abuse his political power. If that wasn't enough to make her coil in fear, he would surely follow with patronising, contemptuous words carefully handpicked to inflict the final blow. Instead, his mellow tone struck her with wonder. She waited.
'I have been worried about you. Sneaking out in the middle of the night is not very ladylike, you will have you admit that much. You must have been desperate to leave your estate against my orders.'
'I have told you, my mother is ill.'
'Why not send one of your men to check on her? Women aren't safe in this wilderness, especially not noble… And if you'll allow me to say, beautiful ones such as you. I've been trying to warn you Milady, but it looks like my words have had no effect.'
Trying as she may to remain quiet, she felt her breathing becoming loud and ragged, betraying her location. His steps resonated on the stone floor, closer and closer…Until the air around her became warmer, smelling faintly of earth and sweat, suffocatingly close.
'Allow me to say what is on my mind… I have met many women who think they can make it on their own. Usually lost souls, with the husband fighting the Crusades or God knows where… Seeing them trying to cut wood themselves, lead a flock, or lift heavy crates. It's laughable, isn't it? Those poor little lambs… Thinking that they are enough, harbouring fantasies feeding into this silly obsession they have with independence… I would hate for you to become one of them but please rest assured that you never will.'
Whatever courage Marian had left was slowly seeping out of her, as if absorbed by his hand griping her arm. He seemed to relinquish her surrender, almost feeding on it, his voice taking an increasingly soothing tone as he went on.
'You might think that I am being presumptuous. That your body and your soul now belong to God, after the death of your father and now your brother. But try as I may, I will never stop caring about your struggles. We need each other, Lady Marian. Think about it: if I were allowed to never leave your side, your estate would forever be safe under my watch. You would get my protection, my help with the management of the estate… And the possibility of an heir… Let's be honest Lady Marian, you are the only hope the Dubois family have to perpetuate their lineage. Why waste all this potential when you could save your land from foreign hands, and yourself from banishment?'
When his lips brushed against her hand, it took all her willpower to stop herself from clawing his eyeballs out of their sockets.
'Where are my staff?' Marian whispered through her teeth.
'They were all dismissed. Your irritating maid-in-waiting would not budge, I had to do a whole lot of… convincing, for her to agree to wait upstairs in your chamber. I needed for us to be alone to do this.'
She felt something small and cold being pushed against the inside of her hand.
'Lady DuBois, my life's purpose is to guide you through these troubled times, and to save you from a life of perdition. Be my wife.'
As she moved slightly away from him, she felt him gripping her arm harder and forced her brain to come out of its torpor. What exactly were her options? Once again, using violent means to ensure her escape was the first idea that came through her mind, pressing, imploring… But she reluctantly pushed it aside. What good would come of it? The door was locked and if anyone could somehow get past the two soldiers to open it, he would probably have enough time to hurt her or worse, arrest her for violence against a representative of the Kingi? Beg him to leave her alone, and hope that her pleas would be received with clemency? She might as well be waiting for a stone to start speaking. As she felt her arms closing around her waist, his larger stature and the weight of his hands overcoming her, the desperate nature of her situation became more and more obvious. There was only one thing to do.
'Sheriff, you are taking me by surprise… I would certainly be delighted to give your proposal serious consideration, if you let me get back to my lady-in-waiting… She has always been of excellent counsel.'
Nottingham chuckled sightly 'My Lady… You must think me a fool… I have to say I am slightly disappointed, I really thought that your intelligence matched your stunning looks… Oh well… If you need to think about it, I may have to use some persuasion.'
Pushing her gently against the wall, he used one hand to hold her arm while, to her utter horror, the other started slowly making its way from her waist to her bosom.
'I promise you. In a couple of minutes, you will understand that we are made to be together.'
What happened next needs no unnecessary description.
Marian's first reaction was to be attentive to the terrible sensations her body was being put through, as if by being aware of them she could somehow stay in control and push away any further pain. But he did not relinquish his hold, slithering over her skin only to sting again and again. Hence, she let go and her mind went to a place she hoped he would not feel a thing.
A flowy green dress gliding down a hill. A laughing horse rider.
They both fell onto the floor. Her head registered the shock, then she buried herself again.
It was her eleven-year-old self now sitting down at the dinner table, talking to her parents. 'Sarah said I could take Saviour for a canter! He had not been out for a while!' 'Marian!' her mother interjected, 'You are growing up, and soon it will be deemed improper for you to be roaming around the countryside unaccompanied… Promise me you will focus on your embroidering tomorrow!' The young girl frowned, which creased her nose in an adorable way, and turned towards her father. 'Father, tell mother I am nothing if not the most proper lady that ever existed. Plus, I needed a break from Peter and Robin. Robin tried to set my hair on fire again!'. Lord Dubois chuckled at his daughter's indignation. 'Boys will be boys, you have to forgive them. They are knights in training, and you are proving to be a worthy opponent.' 'I am indeed' Marian answered with delight, 'I kicked him so hard he will never try again.'
Stinging. Biting. Hurting.
'My child', Lady Dubois sighed. 'The Lord teaches us women to be patient and docile. Men are not here to be argued with, they are your superior in mind and constitution. Remember that if they behaved the way they did with you, it was probably because you had vexed them in some way.' She looked at her husband before adding 'life is not to be lived for pleasure, but for duty. You will realize this soon enough.'
A weight lifted off her body, causing her to recover her senses. The Sheriff was standing over her, helping her to her feet. He then kneeled, taking her hand in his before whispering:
'Marian, God has joined us together in one flesh. Let us thank him for his blessing.'
Outside, Sarah was screaming her name.
i « sheriffs originated in the Anglo-Saxon period as an agent of the king. The name literally means "shire-reeve," where a "reeve" is a sort of manager." ( 2020/06/medieval-law-enforcement/)
