Schwarz's portal dumped Worldwide Smoke out into a nearby street, out of Particle Man's line of vision. Isha was still shaken up by the events in the alley, and was being comforted by Lulupo and Zinnia. The crew stood underneath a gigantic clock tower, with street signs indicating it was the corner of 5th Avenue and 22nd Street. The clock said four of two.

Shaska cracked her neck and looked around. The people were similar to elsewhere on the island, with their fake foreheads and purple toupees walking their pet rocks. Of particular note on this intersection was giants riding giant giraffes, and carts with square wheels being pulled around effortlessly. For some reason, there was a building made of pie, and dogs that had to be miles wide.

Observing the strangeness of downtown Beller, Schwarz walked up to Shaska, hands clasped behind his head and asked "still only the second weirdest adventure you've ever been on, boss?"

"Would you be surprised if I said yes?" she replied.

Shaska turned and faced the rest of Worldwide Smoke, and said "alright, guys, we need to ask around and find this dispensary on Lincoln Street."

Zinnia looked up from her comforting of Isha to find a giant playing a violin next to an equally giant hippopotamus. She walked over to him and tugged on his tunic, asking "excuse me, sir, we are travelers looking for the Happy Happy Grass dispensary on Lincoln Street. Where would that be?"

The giant didn't stop his playing. Instead, the giant hippo walked over to Zinnia, opened its mouth wide, and proceeded to give her and Ruth a big lick with its massive tongue, then walked back to its original position.

Zinnia stood there for a moment, blinked a few times, then said "I may not feel as violated as Doctor Isha, but I do still feel quite violated."

Shaska snapped her fingers twice then said "focus, people. Clearly asking around isn't going to do any good. I guess we need to find a map or something."

It was then that an Imitator Scarecrow popped up behind Shaska, doing parodies of each unconscious thing she did. Upon hearing the rustling of the scarecrow's broomstick arms, Shaska swiveled around to find it wearing her confused expression.

Shaska and the scarecrow both scowled at the same time, then the scarecrow began to laugh in her face and buried itself back in the ground.

"I'm starting to hate this freakin' place…" Shaska growled.

—-

The mink taxi carrying the Cipher Pol agents passed through a small village on its way to the capital of Linnelton. Several miles out from the village, a great rumbling began to come from the sands. And from the parting sands came Doctor Worm, a terribly sad look on his face. The force of his emergence caused the mink taxi to be knocked on its side and unable to right itself.

"Oh, dammit! What now?!" Zeiko cried as she flew into the sidewall of the taxi with a loud thud.

"It appears our conveyance has been knocked over by a giant monster," Zeimaru calmly said, standing up and dusting himself off.

"Ugh, first sea monsters, now land monsters…" Zeiko moaned.

"I suppose we should check it out," Salvatore said, rubbing his head.

The three agents hopped out onto the edge of the cabin through the open window, where they found a giant worm monster crying its eyes out.

"Boo hoo hoo! Oh, boo hoo!" cried Doctor Worm, crying a literal river that began to pool around the mink taxi.

"Hey, big guy, what's the matter?" Salvatore asked.

"This is gonna be such a huge setback…" Zeiko groaned, face in her palm.

Doctor Worm sniffled and looked down at the agents. "They call me Doctor Worm… it's not a good morning, but I'm Doctor Worm…"

"Well, could you calm down, monster?" Zeimaru asked. "Your tears are drowning our taxi."

"Well, for everyone who only just arrived, a quick synopsis. There's a very simple explanation if only you'd be patient. My friend, Rabbi Vole, disappeared into thin air a few weeks ago. Then the tiny friends I made earlier today ditched me. Then I got kicked out of the town where I was gonna look for my friend… oh! What an awful day!"

"And what do you want us to do about it?" an annoyed Zeiko asked.

"Tiny friends?" Zeimaru asked. "You mean there's other non-giants besides us and Ford on the island?"

"Mmhmm… they ran away from me…" Doctor Worm said with a sniffle. "Apparently they're wanted criminals and the superheroes of Beller are after them for their bounties."

This piqued the agents' interest.

"Tiny wanted criminals, you say?" Zeiko asked, crossing her arms. "What did these people look like?"

"Well…" Doctor Worm began. "There was a woman with a snake, a dark skinned man in a pink suit with glasses, a very handsome blond man dressed like a ninja… the biggest of them was a pretty older woman with tentacle-y feet and… how do I put it politely… her chest was HUGE relative to her!"

Zeiko and Zeimaru's eyes shot open at this.

"A large, attractive older woman with tentacle feet and huge boobs? Mom!" Zeiko muttered.

Zeimaru looked at his sister and asked "you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we put our mission to see Ford on hold to settle our grudge…" Zeiko said with a sly smile.

"Wait, hold on. A large, attractive older woman with tentacle feet and huge boobs?" Salvatore asked. "Sounds like you're describing Shaska the Greedy! She's your mom?! Why didn't you tell me that?! She's like the holy grail for CPW-2!"

"You didn't ask," the twins replied in unison, puffing on their cigarettes.

Zeiko turned back to Doctor Worm and asked "Excuse me, mister monster worm… where did you see our dear mother exactly…?"

"Last I saw her, she was heading into the city of Beller… where I'm banned from because I'm too big."

"Can you take us there?" Zeimaru asked. "How far is it from Linnelton? How far is it from here?"

"It's only a few hours away if you travel at the speed of worm!" Doctor Worm exclaimed. "And Beller and Linnelton are pretty close together as well!"

Zeiko's face contorted to an evil grin. "Why don't you take us to this Beller place, worm? We'll get your friend situation sorted out. Even get back at those jerks who ditched you."

Doctor Worm's face lit up. "You mean it?"

"Just take us to Beller, worm," said Zeimaru.

"Wait, hold on, guys," said Salvatore. "What about the mission to get Ford? I think that should take precedence."

"Ford can wait," Zeiko growled.

"If you went through what we went through, you'd get it," said Zeimaru.

Salvatore looked at the twins, then down at the mink taxi they were standing on, still on its side and flailing its (relatively) tiny legs.

"Can we at least set this thing upright so that it doesn't die out here…?"

The agents hopped down off the side of the mink taxi, then Zeimaru picked it up and set it on its feet with one hand.

The taxi turned around and said to the agents "thanks! I'm gonna go back to Flansburgh now. Have fun beating up your mom or whatever it is you're doing…"

The taxi took off back in the direction it originally came from. Doctor Worm lowered himself to the sand, and the agents hopped on his worm back.

"All aboard!" he exclaimed.

—-

Worldwide Smoke walked through the streets of Beller. Among the things the crew saw as they walked was a giant graveyard. In the graveyard was a giant there alone, doing an interpretive dance in front of a giant skull. As they passed, Zinnia stopped and stared, before Ren grabbed her hand and pulled her along.

"Just try to ignore weirdness," she muttered.

"Darlings, I have an idea!" Lulupo exclaimed with a flourish. "Why don't we call one of those mink taxis that seem to be on every street corner?"

"You got any cat food to pay for it, Lulupo?" Schwarz asked.

"Hm," was all Lulupo could respond with.

"There has to be a directory or place where we can get a map or SOMETHING around here!" Shaska whined.

The crew came upon a giant with a candle on his head and crazy eyes wearing a sandwich board saying "DIRECTIONS".

"Oh, thank God," Shaska muttered.

She walked up to the giant and asked "hey, you mind telling us where Lincoln Street is? There's a Happy Happy Grass dispensary there we need to get to."

The candle-headed giant produced a multitude of arms pointing in every direction one could imagine.

"It's that way!" he exclaimed.

Shaska said nothing and began banging her head against the giant's sandwich board.

—-

They walked for hours, not finding any sign of Lincoln Street or the Happy Happy Grass dispensary. The sheer size of the streets wasn't helpful either, and, given the size of the city, the crew hadn't made much progress.

"AAAAAAAGH!" Shaska groaned. "We're getting nowhere!"

"Perhaps it would be best to take a break, darling?" Lulupo asked, sitting down in the shade of a nearby awning.

"Yeah, my feet are getting pretty tired with all this walking…" said Schwarz, taking a sip from his water pack.

"I am starting to become hungry," Zinnia said, rubbing her belly.

"Me too," said Isha, crunching on her sucker. "Munching on all this candy isn't really helping…"

"I'm starting to think trying to destroy Minus World's supply of drugs might not be the best use of our time," said Johnson, wiping away his sweat.

"Is there restaurant we can eat at nearby?" Ren asked, also rubbing her belly.

"In case you forgot, our money isn't good here," Shaska said. "We still need to find a bank or something where we can exchange our berries for cat food…"

Lulupo looked up, and saw a sign down the street reading "HORRIBLE CREDIT UNION".

"Darlings, there's a credit union just over yonder!" he exclaimed, standing up and pointing with his hair.

"'Horrible Credit Union'…? I'm not sure I like the sound of that…" Shaska said.

"Do we really have any other options, though?" Schwarz asked, stretching.

Shaska sighed and said "you're right. Let's go."

The crew walked over to the bank. The door to the place was a struggle for them to open, but they managed to get in thanks to Schwarz's portals. Much like the rest of the buildings on the island, the credit union was gigantic. However, there was only one teller present throughout the whole building. Fortunately, there wasn't a line.

The crew walked over to the teller's desk, and Schwarz used a portal to warp Shaska up to the desktop so she could be seen. The giant manning the desk was dressed differently than the other men of the island, wearing a suit and tie. Of particular note, however, was the fact that the top of his skull was completely missing, leaving him with an exposed brain. His nameplate on the desk read "MR. HORRIBLE".

Shaska, put off by the giant's exposed brain, darted her eyes around for ANYONE else to help her. Not finding anyone, she sighed and said "Hi, uh… Mister Horrible…?"

"How can I help you, tiny person?" Mister Horrible asked.

Purupurupuru

The regular sized transponder snail on the desk began to ring.

"Hold on, I need to take this," said Mister Horrible, picking up the receiver with his index finger and thumb.

Caaaalick

"Yes, this is Horrible."

"Is this Horrible? It's the Ugliness Men, Mister Horrible!" said the voice on the other end. "We're just trying to bug you. We thought that our dreadfulness might be a thing to annoy you with."

Mister Horrible replied with "I don't mind. The thing that bothers me is that someone keeps moving my chair!"

Caaaalick

He hung up. Shaska's face was buried in her hands.

"Sorry, the Ugliness Men call from time to time to bug me."

"WHO THE HELL ARE THE UGLINESS MEN?!" shouted an exasperated Shaska.

"They're the—'' Mister Horrible tried to say.

"No, nope. I don't care," Shaska interrupted. "Don't care about your Ugliness Men. Don't care about your exposed brain."

She pulled out all the cash in her blazer and dropped it on the desk.

"Let's get this over with," she said. "This is five million berries. Give me the equivalent in cat food. Now."

"Do you have an account with us?" Mister Horrible asked.

"Do I look like I'd have an account with you?! Just give me the damn cat food!"

Mister Horrible nodded, then said "one moment."

He got up, went to the vault, and came back with a bag of cat food as big as he was. He dropped it on the desk with a loud clatter.

"Here you go, ma'am. Five million berries worth of cat food. Are you sure you're able to carry it? It weighs over twenty tons."

Shaska grabbed the bag and easily pulled it off the desk with her monstrous strength.

"Thank you for your patronage, ma'am," Mister Horrible calmly said as Shaska hopped off the desk.

"Alright, this bag isn't that heavy, but I'm gonna need some of you to help me because it's so unwieldy," Shaska said, picking up one end of the bag.

"Shaska, if you carry that much weight, your wound could open," said Isha.

"Hm, you're right," she replied, dropping the bag. "Alright, Zinnia and the pretty boys, carry this bag for me. You guys are strong enough to do it, right?"

Without question, the three crew members hoisted the bag over their heads. Zinnia and Schwarz stood in the back, holding up the corners, while Lulupo stood up front in the middle and supported his corners with his hair.

"Perfect. We're actually getting somewhere," Shaska said, smiling for the first time in a while.

It was then that the doors to the bank flew open. A giant wearing a giant ski mask burst in with an empty burlap sack.

"Alright, this is a stickup!" he shouted. "Does anyone have a gun I can use?!"

Despite the fact the robber was unarmed, Mister Horrible held up his hands with a scared look on his face.

"OH COME ON, HE DOESN'T HAVE A GUN!" Shaska yelled at Mister Horrible, eyes whiting out and teeth becoming daggers.

The wind began to pick up, and huge quantities of dust began to fly into the bank. Out of the dust materialized Particle Man, striking a pose.

"Nononono, dammit, NO!" Shaska exclaimed, burying her face in her hands.

"HALT, EVILDOER!" Particle Man cried.

"Oh boy…" Ren muttered, shaking her head.

Particle Man looked down and saw Worldwide Smoke, annoyed expressions on their faces.

"Well, well, well!" he exclaimed. "If it isn't Worldwide Smoke again! Looks like I'm getting a two-for-one special on evildoers today!"

"No, you're not," Schwarz bluntly said. "Let's go, guys."

He spawned a portal in front of the crew, and they quickly walked through it with the cat food, exiting on the opposite side of the street from the bank.

Particle Man was torn: would he stop the unarmed robber? Or would he stop Worldwide Smoke?

Fortunately, the decision was made for him. Another superhero descended on the bank, wearing opposite colors to Particle Man. On his tights was a logo of a triangle.

"Hello, Particle Man…" said the new hero.

"Triangle Man! You fiend!"

"Oh, great, there's two of them…" Johnson muttered.

"Why don't you just stand back and let a real hero take care of this?" Triangle Man smugly asked.

Triangle Man swiveled around and faced Worldwide Smoke, then crouched down to their levels.

"So, you guys are Worldwide Smoke, huh? I'm gonna have to bring you in. This island isn't meant for criminal scum like you."

"How about you get lost?" Shaska growled. "We're not bothering anyone."

Triangle Man chuckled. "See, I beg to differ. There's a pretty berry for you guys' heads. Which means a looot of cat food for me. So, what'll it be, the easy way, or the hard way?"

Then, the ground underneath Triangle Man began to rumble. The earth split open, and Doctor Worm came rushing out of it, the Cipher Pol agents on his back. Triangle Man was sent flying as that section of the street was completely destroyed. As this was happening, the unarmed bank robber made off with several large bags of cat food.

The Cipher Pol agents hopped off and landed on the ground. Doctor Worm looked down at them with a smile, saying "here we are! Downtown Beller!"

He looked down and saw Worldwide Smoke, and his expression soured. "Oh. If it isn't my tiny fake friends."

Shaska's jaw dropped as she looked at the scene before her. She locked eyes with her kids. Zeiko was pulling her gloves on tighter, while Zeimaru lit up a new cigarette.

"Hello, mother," the twins said in unison.

TO BE CONTINUED