Chapter 31: A Harsh Lesson
Now that I had some free time and still knowing I was the least skilled battle ready cat in the camp, I decided to seek out Darkstripe for some additional training. As always, Ravenfeather was ready to tag along. I caught Darkstripe and Dustpaw as they were about to head out.
"Darkstripe. A heartbeat please." I meowed as I caught up.
"What do you need?" Asked the senior warrior.
"I was hoping to get some more training from you. I may be a warrior now, but my battle and hunting skills are apprentice level. Dustpaw and Sandpaw could easily trounce me in a hunting competition or spar. I still am playing catch up." I mewed slightly embarrassed.
Dustpaw, having seemingly been giving me an angry sneer previously, changed from hatred to somewhat bewildered neutrality. I noticed the apprentice and had to mentally question myself. Why was he still an apprentice?
"Out of curiosity, why is Dustpaw still an apprentice? He's better than me in nearly everything. Is it just because he didn't get a chance to raid Shadowclan?" I asked quietly to keep Dustpaw from hearing.
"Unfortunately, no. Dustpaw is as skilled as you say, but the problem is something mental. He's fixated on being like Tigerclaw. He wants to fight like Tigerclaw, but he'll never have the build of Tigerclaw and it's hurting his training. He's holding himself back because of his idol." Darkstripe responded softly.
I shook my head. Dustpaw was ready to be a warrior, but he was holding himself back. He needed a harsh lesson to counter his misconceptions. I pondered on it a moment before Ravenfeather briefly stalked away to catch a mouse I hadn't noticed. Ravenfeather and his brother had somewhat similar builds. The main difference was that Ravenfeather was less muscular but more flexible. It was then I got an idea, one that would give me a decent amount of grief, but it was the best option to set Dustpaw straight.
"I have an idea. Dustpaw may hate me for it, but how about you train Dustpaw and I how to fight heavy like Tigerclaw? We'll spar daily until Dustpaw realizes he just isn't built for it. Meanwhile, like you said, I'll probably learn some new things and show that a cat must work within the confines of what they've got. Even he's got to realize I'm technically a slow learner, so when I do better than him, he'll have to accept the obvious." I mewed conspiratorially.
Darkstripe tipped his head in thought before nodding. It didn't take long for us to find the training clearing.
"Alright. Since Smudgefoot wants some additional fight training and Dustpaw wants to learn to fight heavy, we'll go over the moves together. For once, I want you two to constantly compare with each other. You're rivals for this. Just remember this aggression you'll have must stay here at the clearing." Instructed Darkstripe.
Ravenfeather decided hunting nearby was the best option for now. He didn't want to be far away, but he'd have nothing to contribute to this training.
Darkstripe began by demonstrating how to put about a half of a cat's weight into a strike while still leaving enough room to cancel the attack. Dustpaw had it down faster, but mine had more force. We practiced that for a while before Darkstripe decided to cover the concept of trading. Weighty cats often rely on their fortitude to remain in a fight over dodging. Despite Darkstripe being a relatively light cat, he'd learned all this from Tigerclaw who was a juggernaut in comparison. This is where I started having an edge. Heavy weights, instead of sully dodging, act somewhat like boxers, rolling with the hits and using their size to diffuse the force over a larger area. Often times they'd move into the hit instead of away. Even in grapples, weighty cats had simpler options. Their goal was the pin. Nothing was fancy or required tricky movements. It was pure brute force.
When we started our first spar after the lesson, I noted that Dustpaw was unconsciously dodging or deflecting attacks instead of using the new techniques. Meanwhile, I managed to last a bit longer than usual. My reaction speeds might be subpar, but I'm pretty good with predictions. I was able to roll through most of Dustpaw's attacks until he was starting to get tired and fell back into his instinctive style which was closer to Ravenfeather's than Tigerclaw's. Dustpaw won the fight, but Darkstripe congratulated me on better utilization of the new techniques. Dustpaw shot me an angry stare, but he didn't say anything.
The next day was more of the same. I get more heavy training and Dustpaw gets progressively worse. Eventually, Dustpaw was holding back his instincts completely, but he was getting beaten black and blue by me every time. He just could not compete with a heavy cat in a battle of attrition. Every day, I could feel his hatred of me grow a bit as he continued to fail to best me in heavy techniques. Finally he blew up at me for stealing his mentor and ran off. Ravenfeather took off after him.
Darkstripe and I followed more slowly. This was something that needed to happen, but neither of us was proud of what we did. We found Ravenfeather and Dustpaw after a couple moments, but we decided to remain concealed to listen in.
"Just how!? How is he better than me at this? He's never better than me! He said so himself, so how is Smudgefoot beating me? I'm supposed to be the strong one." I ranted pathetically.
Ravenfeather just sat at his side letting him vent. After a moment, he decided to speak up.
"Smudgefoot isn't looking down on you. I know him. He's complicated. He doesn't really know how to be kind or talk honestly with other cats. It's like he has this wall. He keeps his emotions hidden well, but that doesn't prevent him from acting on them. I know he likes and respects you. In a way, he looks up to you." Ravenpaw mewed in a comforting tone.
"Then why is he doing this? Why can't I win?" Dustpaw mewed in a choked sob.
Ravenfeather tilted his head in thought as he tried to figure out how to put his thoughts to words. "Like I said, Smudgefoot doesn't know how to talk to cats, but he tries to fix problems. I watched your training, and I can honestly see the problem. You're trying to be something you're not. Smudgefoot is built to be a heavy brawling cat. No matter how much you want to be one, no matter what you learn, you just aren't There's no shame in being lighter or flexible. Just like you can't do what he can do, there's things you can do that he can't. I mean look at him. He can hardly climb a tree with all that weight and those stubby legs."
Dustpaw coughed out a laugh since he hadn't expected Ravenfeather to make fun of me. I briefly glanced down at my own legs. They weren't that stubby, weren't they? I mean, sure I don't climb trees because it's not worth the effort and not at all because I'm puffing by the time I hit the first branch.
"I mean you were beating him pretty consistently. It was only when you started constraining yourself to fight the heavy way did you start losing. You're still the better fighter. You just need to realize that you need to fight like you, not Tigerclaw, not Smudgefoot, not Darkstripe, or me, you. That's the only thing keeping you from getting your warrior name." Continued Ravenfeather.
I was honestly proud at Ravenfeather's wisdom in that moment, only slightly hurt at his jab at me. Dustpaw seemed to have calmed down as well.
"I never thought you'd be the one giving advice to me. I was always the stronger and the bigger of the two of us, but you have your name and I don't. It's kinda funny. Anyways, I think I'll take your advice to heart. I'm going to stop pretending to be Tigerclaw. It's going to take forever to drill out all these new habits I formed during this new training."
As the two brothers bonded, Darkstripe and I simply nodded to each other and left. This was their moment. We returned to camp, silently swearing to each other to keep what we witnessed a secret. I just hoped Dustpaw didn't keep a grudge from such a harsh lesson.
