"Well I step inside your dream, yeah
I cannot help who you love
Well you're safe inside your dreams, yeah
But I cannot help who you love
My love, my love, my love"
—"I Dreamt" from Death Song by The Black Angels
A flower crown sat in the middle of the floor. Max stared at it while sitting next to Jake's petrified form. The pokémon who'd lost the crochet kit was into arts and crafts, which made plenty of sense, so he'd gone ahead and made that for the team who found his kit. A very kind gesture that Eleos and Cori had instantly decided to give to Max.
No one else was there. Just him. Eleos had gone to get Cori and Neb so Max could rest up some more. His shoulder wasn't constantly throbbing with pain, but he still needed to keep that arm in a sling (Neb gave him a real one). Honestly, he might end up milking it for longer based on the grin Neb gave her when she asked for help learning how to run on all fours like a normal pikachu yesterday.
Yesterday. Good God was yesterday dense. As if getting injured nearly dying wasn't bad enough, Neb went and made her confused about if he was a boy or a girl. Well, she'd always been confused about that a bit, but she could always ignore it before.
Not anymore.
Then, like a cherry on top, Cori offered him the flower crown to wear. He managed pretty well to act entirely disinterested, although Neb gave her a glance that nearly shattered his resolve. Now, though, it sat in the middle of his house like a Ring of Power, tempting her. The only one there to talk her out of it was petrified, and she'd already turned Jake around so she didn't have to see his terrified expression watch her consider The Crown.
"Get yourself together, girl," Max grumbled to herself. "It's just a crown. It's not going to fucking. Rewrite you." Shaking her head, she rolled up to her hindpaws and headed over to it. She picked it up and inspected it. It was very well made, with a (de-thorned) red rose at the front and several other flowers speckling the rest of its perimeter.
The colors didn't stray much further from the rose's deep red, ranging from a light pink bud to a few deep purple violets and irises. Begrudgingly, she had to admit the colors contrasted with her fur extremely well, even bringing out her cheeks and (she suspected) highlighting where her eyes were blue instead of the usual pikachu brown, which was usually pretty hard to make out. It. It really was made for her. In more ways than one.
That story about holes in a mountain kept coming back up from the dredges of her memory.
She pulled it closer to the chest and glanced to the door—still closed. Her ear went up to listen; not a sound besides the air blowing outside. Still alone, and she probably would be for at least a few more minutes.
Why not? Why shouldn't she wear it? Just for a bit. It was a nice gift, and it deserved at least some use before the flowers wilted.
So, with another nervous glance around, she looked down to it, and finally brought it up to her head. She looped it around her ears and let them up inside it with the crown resting just below them. It fit perfectly. She could barely make out the rose sticking out from the front, but she'd memorized the look of it.
Each flower and bud circled around in her mind as she rotated its memory. Oh, that gave her an idea. She started spinning around with the memory, imagining each flower, each bud, stem, leaf passing by as it spun with her. It felt so goofy to do, but she let the pure, sincere fun of it take precedent and ignored the cynical thoughts deriding her for it. Idly, she wondered if she'd ever done something like this when she was a little boy. That's how she felt, after all. Like a pretty, happy, little girl.
"Hey, Max," Cori said. "Ele—oh."
Max froze. In an instant, he saw what Cori saw: his own face beneath the crown. His gross, blocky tail waving around behind him while his disgusting body only looked worse in comparison to the pretty crown. Every flower suddenly underscored every feature he hated seeing in his reflection.
The brief moment of joy wilted. Just like the flowers inevitably would.
Max ripped the crown off and tossed it away. He regretted letting it go the moment it left his paw, but he couldn't let himself linger. "H-hey, Cori," he said, struggling not to growl.
"Sorry," Cori mumbled.
An ear popped up. Max wanted to be glad they weren't acknowledging what happened, but the defeated tone cut at his ear too much to ignore. With a deep breath, he said, "Look, Cori, I'm not mad. I'm sorry." His right paw went to the back of his neck. "J-just embarrassed."
"Sorry," Cori said.
Concern finally overcame the nerves keeping Max from looking up at them. They'd barely stepped through the doorway, their gaze staring down into an abyss beneath the ground. "Cori?" Max asked. They didn't react, so he started walking over to them. "Come on inside. Are you all right?" He grabbed their paw and started pulling them. They seemed to resist for a moment, their reaction struggling to catch up with the stimuli.
"Sorry."
"It's all right," Max whispered. Had he yelled? What did he do? He released their paw to lightly press on their shoulder, and they sat weakly back. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm fine."
That was a lie. "Please?" Max ran his paw down their back. "I'm just worried, okay?" Cori kept staring down to the ground. After a while, though, they put what seemed like a herculean effort into glancing up to Max. It didn't even last a second, but Max could see them trying. He shuffled a bit closer and wrapped his arm around them. If it weren't for his shoulder, he could hug them, but half would do for now.
Cori's mouth started barely twitching as they glanced up to Max with increasing frequency, even managing to maintain eye contact for a few seconds; the door opened, and in walked Eleos and Neb.
"Oh, hey, y'all," Max said. He pulled Cori in for a quick squeeze and gave them a nod. "Later," he whispered, then turned to the others.
"Are you sure about this?" Neb asked. She glanced at Jake, struggling to take her eyes off the lifeless stone.
"Not really, no," Max answered. "And the more I think about it, the less I am, so I'm trying not to." Someone had to talk to Jake, and dammit if it wasn't gonna be him. As long as he didn't think about it, he didn't have to worry. He'd be fine. He was already thinking about it too much for his own comfort, but luckily Eleos had already started siphoning off his terror to build up the energy for it.
"Could not Cori, Neb, or I do this in your stead, my love?" Eleos offered. Since yesterday, it had very clearly been trying its best to sound doting and loving. It was incredibly forced, but Max found it adorable.
"No," Max said. "There's too much I need to ask, and," his paw clenched into a fist as he recalled Jake impersonating his partner, "I have to do this." Even having it siphoned away, it took a while for the rage to abate. Once it did, though, and he looked back up, Eleos looked a bit expectant, almost disappointed. Max tried not to roll his eyes as a chuckle tickled him into smiling. "Thanks for asking, my sweet flame."
Eleos smiled as if it had just aced an exam; Max needed to check later if it was literally studying.
A muffled giggle made its way past Neb's paw, so Max sent a smirk her way. "You're so cute together," Neb chuckled.
"Aw, thanks," Max said. He ignored her laughter and made his way over to Eleos. The arm he could extend went out to ask for a hug from it, and it happily obliged. Eleos snaked its right arm underneath his left so it could freely squeeze him. The hug coaxed a cooing, "Chaaa," out of Max that he didn't try to repress. He returned a bit of his own squeeze, but mostly left it to Eleos. "Thank you."
Eleos smiled down and rested its head on his. "Anything for you," it whispered. Max leaned forward to let the hug coax him deeper into requiescence. His head nestled perfectly into its chest, and he felt his tail wrap itself around it on instinct. He hadn't been cold, but oh how the warmth relaxed him.
He passively pressed his cheek into its shoulder and lightly kneaded into it. Harmless sparks bounced down to the ground, a few into both of them. Eleos let some of the pressure in its left arm go to scritch its paw up his back, then around to pull his chin back. Even knowing why, Max struggled to pull away from the hug, but oh was the reward worth it. They stared briefly into each other's eyes before Eleos came down to plant a kiss on his lips. Max felt his ears shoot up while sparks of joy bounced down his cheeks.
Of to the left, where Neb stood, Cori whispered so quietly that Max could barely hear them ask, "Should we go?"
Max pulled a bit away and laughed, "No." He hopped up to plant a quicker kiss on Eleos's lips and then pulled away. The little chuckle caught in his throat. "I…." His paw came up to clutch his scarf. Even with Eleos eating away at his dread, he felt the chasm growing in the pit of his stomach; the only solace was the chasm was empty instead of full of molten stone. "I need. Y'all."
His paw struggled to move for an instant, but it clenched when he told it to.
Neb brushed up to his left side while Cori flanked his right with a hug. "We're here, then," Cori said, all the trepidation from minutes ago gone. Neb leaned in while they squeezed him, and he looked around for Eleos until he felt it in the back of his neck again. It was time.
Ready?
Max let out a whimper. He wouldn't feel it. His paw clutched his scarf tighter. Before he could talk himself out of it, he nodded his head and suddenly felt nothing.
"I can help you dream
I can help you scream
I can feel you dream
I can set you free"
The Void Lands surrounded him once again—but a single glance around was painfully dissonant to that name. The dry, dead landscape of formless void had transformed into a wash of color. Off in the distance ahead of him, he saw a mountain of deep violets and pinks piercing a glowing orange in the sky. A shimmering forest stretched between it and him.
"I-I, Eleos," Max mumbled.
You asked me to remake them, didn't you?
Right, he had. "It's…," words fell short as he stared into the distance, and stunned silence filled the void. "Beautiful." How long had it been working on this?
Thank you, beloved, but we must stay focused.
"Right, okay," Max said, shaking himself out of his trance. Still, he had to say something to acknowledge it. "I love what you've done with the place, though." He could almost feel Eleos roiling in on itself in excitement, but suddenly the atmosphere grew tense. Absent, wrong, missing. The world lacked the final piece it needed; Max rolled his eyes. "I love what you've done with the place, darling." And like that, all was right with the world once more.
Thank you.
"Drama queen," Max chuckled. "Okay, now where the hell is Jake?" Without any answer, the world around him shimmered into dust, then reformed into a dark cave right in front of him. A torch lay at the right side of the entrance. When he leaned down to pick it up, it wiggled and let out a purr. "KA PI!" Max threw it and jumped back.
Drama queen.
"K-ka pi… ka?" Max gasped.
A void shadow.
"Pi—" Max started, but cut himself off to fix his speech. Fine, he was fine. It wasn't. Coming for him, at least. "A void shadow?" The dark blobs that had tried to swarm him the first time he came here. Little demons. "They—" obviously they could shapeshift, he saw it with his own eyes, "...purr?" Max carefully went back to lift it again. It was more reserved this time, but it still rumbled in what seemed like… pleasure? Did it like being held because it was a torch, now?
Well, given their deep connection to myself, they feel quite similarly to me about most things. Though, some of them have their own little quirks.
Eleos talked about them with the joy of a parent, and Max realized 'kids' were probably the best analogy he had for them—wait a second, that didn't answer anything—oh. He looked down at the torch again, feeling it rumble in excitement. It felt how Eleos felt; it liked him holding it.
"O-okay, little buddy," Max mumbled. He could swear he heard Eleos chuckling at his unease in the atmosphere, but he didn't bother acknowledging it. Instead, he started his trek into the cavern in search of Jake.
The search didn't last long. After about a minute, he made out a dim light a bit deeper into the tunnel. Three steps later, a shadow ball whizzed past his head.
"Don't you fucking come near me!" Jake screamed, his voice echoing in the cave around him. "Are you fucking insane?!" Max pointed the torch and waved it around to try and find Jake. "You were supposed to stop Dark Matter! Not join it!" With another scan, he managed to make out two faint purple swirls off to the side of the dim light. "Are you even listening?!"
"Not really," Max said with a shrug. "Here, girl." He tapped the back of the torch and pointed to Jake. "Sic 'em." The torch eagerly hopped out of his hand, grew legs, and started running for Jake.
"Fuck!" Jake screamed, throwing both shadow balls at it, but missing by a mile.
"Calm down," Max said. "It's just a torch." As it approached, he realized why Jake's aim had been so awful. It was a bit hard to make out in the dim light, but massive hunks of dripping shadow wrapped and pulsed around Jake, holding almost all of him except for both hands, his mouth, and one eye. "Oh Jesus Christ, Eleos." A bashful timidness filled the atmosphere around them.
...have I done something wrong, my lovely font of joy?
Amazing, it was trying to flatter its way out of the doghouse. Even more amazingly, was it worked. Largely because Max didn't really care all too much how horrible a time Jake had, but the compliment was still nice.
"Not at all, my darling darkest," Max said. The epithets were going to get old soon, but he'd play along for now. "But could you bring us to the surface?" He'd hardly finished the request before the darkness around them dissipated, and they returned to the mouth of the cave. Including the wall containing Jake. Max twisted his mouth down in thought. "You know, we'll let you out if you promise to behave." He was having too much fun with this.
"BEHAVE?" Jake wailed. "What the fuck is going on?!" Luckily, it was Jake, so Max didn't give a single damn. "'Darling'?! Are you dating it?!"
"Yes, behave. Will you?" Max asked, crossing his arms. The once torch dissolved into a puddle that quickly bubbled into a bundle of slime and wiggled over to Max. It jumped up, and Max caught it—oh, both arms were fine down here. Rage threatened to pop Jake's visible eye out of its socket while Max gently pet the shadow, yet he seemed too confused to give a single sound more than bewildered silence at this point. As much as Max wanted to continue torturing him, he did have questions he needed answered.
He could torture Jake after.
"Okay, fine," Max said. "Look, I didn't join it. It joined me." Jake looked like he wanted to explode, but to his credit, seemed willing to postpone his detonation until Max finished. "After we beat it, I gave it a second chance, and it's doing very well for itself." Jake almost looked like he was following, though one nugget of bewilderment remained in his stare. The atmosphere itself seemed to await one particular answer, too.
"All right, yes," Max said. "As of yesterday, we are officially dating."
Jake blinked. The void shadow suddenly hopped with extra affection and nuzzled into Max. Jake blinked again. It seemed like even that was a struggle for him, now. He didn't even move the little bit that he could anymore, just stared in wait, like he was waiting for a punchline.
Or for them to obliterate his soul. Either or.
Since Max had spent so much time with it, he'd not necessarily forgotten, but definitely desensitized himself to it as a concept. He'd wanted to scare Jake a little with Eleos coming out at the top of that mountain, but he hadn't considered fully how it might affect his own image. Did they need a show of good will?
"Eleos, go ahead and release him," he said. While Jake flopped to the ground, Max scritched his claws through the bundle of forgotten soul in his paws. The void shadow gargled in appreciation. Jake threw himself up and started scraping his hands over his body, trying to get any trace of the goop that imprisoned him off. Failing that, at least to get rid of the lingering sensation. "Can you explain why you were trying to kill me, now?"
"I wasn't!" Jake screamed.
You said otherwise at the time.
Jake recoiled away from the sky while Max nodded in agreement. "O-okay, I didn't say —" he started, but somehow developed the good sense to not litigate the minute differences between implying and saying. "Okay, fine, sorry, I'm sorry!" He threw his hands up in surrender like he was begging for his soul.
Probably thought he was. As much as Max wanted to keep that up, it probably wouldn't make for productive conversation.
"Jake, we're not going to kill you," Max said. Jake froze in relief so much he nearly collapsed. Luckily, he could float, so falling didn't amount to much. "I don't think Eleos even can, actually." Max expected it to chime in at that, but it seemed content to let him speculate. "Hell, holding you here has already been pretty draining for it."
A flash of hope—release—flashed in Jake's eyes, though he didn't say a word. "And it doesn't want to destroy the world anymore, either," Max continued. At that, the sky started to slightly rumble, so Max rolled his eyes and clarified. "Not enough to actually try, at least." Suddenly, the void shadow hopped at him a little, and he realized he hadn't pet it for a whole five seconds. Needy little thing. He looked up at Jake's blank, utterly bewildered gaze and felt like he was talking to a brick. "Is any of this getting through?"
"Trying," Jake said. At least he didn't have that stupid grin of his on anymore. "Okay, so, I'm not dead?" Max started to answer before realizing he didn't actually know. "More dead than usual."
"Oh, no," Max said. That got another sigh of relief from Jake. His relief was great and all, but Max was running out of patience for not getting a single one of his goddamn questions answered. "Good, now that you're done, can you explain what the fuck you were doing?"
"The same thing I did when I met you in the store," Jake said. "Recruiting." Max nodded along. It was less information than he wanted, but he gave Jake some time to add on. Jake crossed his arms. "What? That's it."
"No, it's not," Max said. "You're telling me more." Jake raised a hand to start arguing—Max didn't care and interrupted, "Do you really want to try me right now?" The rebellion in Jake's eyes died when they met Max's expression; the void shadow hissed at him to help accentuate the point.
Jake took in a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes, finally rolling back upright. "There've been… problems with some Dungeons, lately." It took everything in Max's power not to quip at him for that. "You're right, they aren't supposed to have extra floors. Especially not floors like that."
This had to be the greatest test of Max's restraint thus far: Every part of him wanted to meet that claim with sarcasm.
"We don't really know what's going on," Jake went on. "A lot of anomalies like that, and Dungeons are getting more and more dangerous." It felt like such a relief to have the bastard come out and explain shit to him. "Extra floors, endless floors, some of them are growing," he spun his hand around in the air as if dictating a grocery list. "Basically, all the things that start to happen when the world's getting fucked."
"Like an immune system?" Max mumbled to himself. Jake glanced at him for that, but didn't acknowledge the words beyond that. While that explained some wider context, Max didn't really know what do with any of it. "Okay, sure, but that's why." A shitty 'why' that didn't explain nearly the extent of any of the fucker's actions, but a why nonetheless.
"How the fuck did you impersonate my friends?" Max asked, struggling to keep his tone any kind of even. "And how did you know what my partner looked like?" The slight bit of peace Jake had built shattered. The mere thought of what happened threatened to rip Max back to that moment, and he was sure that he only held together thanks to Eleos sucking up the worst of his emotions to keep Jake and him in the Void Lands.
Jake shrank down a bit and looked away. "I… guess I crossed a line, there, yeah," he mumbled. His hand went around as behind him as it could manage to scratch his back.
"Yes," Max growled. It was a miracle his speech wasn't slipping. "Yes, you did."
A hint of genuine guilt crept into Jake's eyes, but Max couldn't tell if that was purely from the assumed power imbalance. "I mean, all the heroes come in pairs, so I just waited for you to dream about him," Jake explained.
"Dream eater," Max grumbled. He kept forgetting about that.
"Yeah," Jake said. His glances up grew scarcer, and Max realized why when a tear fell into the void shadow. Max managed a hard expression, but like all water, tears inevitably weathered their way through the stone. "Sorry. I didn't realize how much… sorry."
Max looked away to wipe the tears. For being supposedly centuries old, this dude sucked at apologies. "Good. You should be," Max mumbled. He barely managed to keep his voice strong while he spoke, but a whimper managed to escape after. The void shadow wriggled up to lean deeper into him, a tendril squirting out to pat him on the shoulder and another to dab at his tears. Somehow, it helped.
"A-anyway," Max said. He cleared his throat to try and regain what little composure he could, and got the rest from hugging the stretched out void shadow tighter. Now wasn't the time for emotions; he could deal with those later. "You still haven't told me how you did it."
"R-right, uh," Jake mumbled. He seemed equally eager to move on. "Well, you already know, don't you?" Max glared at him as a silent, 'no.' "It's the same way you got your ability, Dungeon sickness."
"Was afraid of that," Max grumbled.
"It's another thing with the Dungeons recently," Jake said. "More pokémon are going feral in general, and a few especially bad cases get these weird abilities." He shrugged. "I got mine from checking out another extra floor. They seem to speed the process along without as much of the usual…," his eyes flashed as he remembered Max's own experience with blacking out, "symptoms."
Max wanted to gouge his eyes out more than he wanted to talk about going feral with Jake. "And now, you recruit people who you think are developing them?" he asked, and got an affirmative nod. Max nodded, too. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Leaning down, he let the void shadow down. It was hesitant to leave his arms, but eventually acquiesced after some prodding. Max used his now free paws to rub at his temples and took in even more deep breaths. As calm as he could possibly be, especially thanks to Eleos's help, he looked up to Jake and screamed at the top of his lungs, "YOU COULDN'T JUST FUCKING ASK?!" A spray of sparks he'd neglected to control shot out all around him, and Jake jumped back.
Max's breathing filled the air as the only sound. The void shadow scarcely accompanied the sounds by mushing itself into Max's hindpaw while Jake stood a good many meters back. If Jake was ready to answer, Max didn't seem to be ready for it. Deeper breaths. "Calm, calm, I'm calm," Max muttered to himself.
It was not true. Max glared up at Jake to prompt the answer anyway.
"I-it's, we don't want people to know about this," Jake said. A stray bolt bounced off Max's cheek, marking that as 'unsatisfactory.' "We have to make sure you can actually help before spilling the beans, all right?" Another bolt marked that one as 'needs improvement.' "If everyone finds out about this, we'll have a panic!" Jake just wasn't getting it, was he?
"I thought," Max growled. "I was going. To. Die." He clenched his fist to make up for the relieved tension from relaxing his jaw. "What part of that was necessary?" No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep from raising his voice. He didn't really want to, either. "You impersonated my friends—attacked me with them! You—"
"Stress!" Jake shouted, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Stress, stress helps the abilities manifest!"
Max dragged his paws down his face. Okay. Maybe he should've let someone else do this for him. "Fine," he growled. "Well, congrats. I have my fucking." Ability was really clunky—they didn't have a better name yet? "Thing." He threw his arms out to mime confetti. "Yay me, now what?"
Jake hesitated to answer, stuck staring at Max. He could very clearly see the mouse's entirely unobscured anger and didn't want to make it worse. "Well, your team can get promoted to the Mist Continent," he said. "Pay raise, good lodging, just, y'know. Gotta help deal with the weird going on down there." Really shitty as far as sales pitches go.
Yet, that didn't really matter too much. "Okay, sure," he said.
Jake blinked. "W-what?"
"What?" Max asked. "I've done it before." He shrugged and looked away, crossing his arms. "It's also literally why I was brought here." He remembered that conversation he had with Cori and Eleos at the top of the hill, but shook his head. "Okay, so you'll tell them I passed or whatever, then I go there and…." He shrugged again. "Figure it out from there."
He stretched a bit and leaned down to pet the void shadow some more with his right paw. Rolling his shoulders, he made a mental note to absolutely not try that again once he gets out. With the void shadow nice and happy, he got back up and looked at Jake. "Are your people gonna care you haven't talked to them for a day?" he asked.
"A day?" Jake balked. "Max, I've been in here for weeks!"
Right, he forgot about that fun little quirk. "Time moves slower here," Max halfheartedly explained. All his questions answered, he wanted this over with. Talking to someone he hated in a place that—well, they'd gotten nicer since last time, but he hated what he had to do to be there. He wanted out. He gave the void shadow one last pet goodbye, then looked up. "All right, Eleos, pull me out."
"Wait!" Jake screamed and leapt at Max. He didn't get halfway there before the void shadow shot him out of the air and glued him to the ground. "P-please! Please let me out!"
Right, Max never said Jake would leave. Implied it, sure, but never stated it outright. "Yeah," Max mumbled—although. He took a glance at the void shadow pinning Jake to the ground. If Jake told whoever was in charge what Eleos was, who knows how they'd react. They couldn't let that be a chip he holds, either. "On one condition." Jake stared up in desperation, the binds restricting his every movement in a no doubt very familiar way. He looked so desperate that Max almost cared.
Luckily, he still had the memories of the day before to keep him grounded. "You're not going to tell anyone about Eleos," he said.
"Sure," Jake hurriedly agreed.
"That wasn't a question," Max said. Best to really sell this, since he had the chance. He strode over to Jake and stood over him while the void shadow writhed over the bound ghost's restricted form. The void shadow moved out of the way of his hindpaw when he raised it to rest on the side of Jake's face. "It was a statement."
The weeks he must've spent completely immobile hung in Jake's eyes; Max was concerned how good it felt to see that horror. "Tell anyone, let it slip, even on accident?" he said, clicking his tongue. "You'll have to get used to this place for your next century. Clear?"
The void shadow covered his mouth, so Jake did his absolute best to nod and muffle out absolute agreement. Max felt he could ask for the world and Jake would do his best to promise it.
So, in an instant, a smile wiped away the smoldering rage. "Great!" Max said. He pushed off Jake's face hard enough to jump a little bit and looked to the sky. "All right, beam me up, Scotty." His smile soured into a wince once he heard himself. Was he really that much of a dork?
Maybe it was best if he didn't remember his human life after all.
"I dreamt that you dreamt that I dreamt with you
I slept where you slept so I slept with you
Oh, I loved how you tripped, so I tripped with you"
A tight bind of scales and fur greeted Max once he felt the Void Lands fade away. Even with his eyes screwed shut, he had a pretty good idea of what he'd see when he opened them. A warm paw pat his back while a cold one rubbed the crook of his neck. The breath he'd held before Eleos took over let itself out in a long, warm exhale, a dumb smile pushing into his cheeks.
He took a breath to make sure he could, then sighed out, "Thanks, y'all."
"Yeah, of course!" Cori said. The other two gave him assenting pats. Cori and Neb gave tighter squeezes before pulling away and leaving him and Eleos together. Max wrapped his good arm around it and gave it a little squeeze.
"Are you faring well?" Eleos asked. Max took another deep breath to feel the air fill his lungs, curling his hindpaws to feel them move, and nodded. Eleos pulled him barely tighter to plant a kiss on his forehead, then pulled away.
Max nuzzled into its left side so he could wrap his good arm around and hang off its left. The warmth on his fur made him certain he was alive; he pressed his cheek into it and rubbed his patch along the scales, sending little sparks out with the friction. "Piii ka," he cooed. A bit of worry invaded his peace, but he tried to hold onto what little he could.
Based on the look Neb gave him, though, he wasn't hiding the worry well. "It's all right," Neb said. "You're not the only one to keep some verbal tics like that." Max stared back at her, analyzing her face to verify, so Neb gave him a nod. "C'mon, you can trust me, can't you?" She gave a wry grin, and he felt himself return the same.
"I dunno, can I?" Max asked. Pessimistic skepticism aside, the reassurance helped a lot. Still, maybe to quell the nerves, he found himself tuning into his awareness to check for certain. As he leaned back in to Eleos, the world around him snapped into sharper focus. The radius grew out from under his paws and all around him. He couldn't seem to focus on any one direction more than another, instead expanding evenly on all sides.
As a consequence, he felt Cori's jittery paws kneading over themselves before he got to Neb. They had a smile on, but it was tight, like it was straining them to keep up. "Cori?" Max asked.
Despite staring at him, Cori jumped up at hearing their name and refocused their eyes on him. "Y-yeah?" they mumbled. Their strained smile pulled tighter. "What's up?"
Max's mouth twisted down. "You all right?" he asked. Their smile pulled even tighter despite not getting any wider. The front they were trying to keep up was thin enough that Max could probably fan it away using next to no effort with his tail. He pulled himself and tilted his head at them. "What's wrong?"
All at once, Cori's smile snapped down, and they crumpled under the weight of their disguise falling. They kept their eyes on the ground, trying in vain to manage to bring their eyes up to his. Max felt a twinge of guilt when he noticed Eleos and Neb had turned to them, too. He'd shone the spotlight on them, and the little strength they could manage couldn't grow with the added pressure. The attempted answers died in their throat.
Someone answered, though. "Is this to do with the litany of derision I heard when I came to summon you from your home?" Eleos asked.
The entire room froze, everyone but the offender suffering from the mistake. Cori's eyes went wide, and Max could feel their embarrassment burning. Or maybe that was his own, empathetic supply. He suddenly remembered a wrinkled, yet somehow unweathered hand tracing the distance between his temple and his lips. A warm, loving voice echoed from his memory: "You've just got nothing between your mind and your mouth, huh?"
When he pulled himself back from the resurfaced memory, Cori was gone.
"Step inside your dream, yeah
Deep inside with me, yeah
Live inside your dream, yeah
Come inside with me"
Max didn't like Leppa berries. He kind of hated them. They tasted like spicy, curdled milk. Unfortunately, they helped with stamina, and he really needed that while jogging his way up the hill. Neb told him Cori probably needed to be alone for a little while, but he'd already made it out the door by the time she said that.
At least he had an actual sling, now, buckled around his back so his dead arm didn't tug on his shoulder with every awkward bound. He jammed his paw into his bag for a few orans anyway. It might not bring acute pain, but the bounces would absolutely build up in damage if he wasn't careful. That, and they seemed to help dull the soreness in his legs. Yesterday had been much more exhausting than he realized.
He made it to the crest of the hill around the same time that he ran out of breath: before he knew it. His lungs nearly sucked an oran into themselves when he tried to shove another one down his throat between pants. The pulp heaved itself back into his mouth, and he looked around the top of the hill.
Cori sat with their head in their forepaws, dangling their hindpaws into the spring. Max's attempt to call out to them ran headlong into his lack of oxygen, so he started ambling over to them instead (despite his legs' very loud protests). He really needed to work on his cardio more.
Or learn how to walk like a pikachu.
His already burning lungs cinched tighter when he got within a rock's throw of the water. Exhaustion and lingering dread conspired to convince him to collapse where he stood while a low murmur of instincts heckled him in agreement. He wouldn't let himself, though. Cori needed him. Pain comes from the brain, so he just needed to push himself a little further. Just a few more—breathe, don't forget to breathe even though he could practically taste the water he almost died in—steps.
Somehow, Cori noticed his gasping, hobbling form coming closer before he announced his presence and started staring at him with wide-eyed concern.
Remembering that pain was in the brain, Max put on his best smile, waved with a squeaky, "Pi," and fell flat on his face.
Well. Okay, maybe pain wasn't exclusively in the brain.
"M-Max?!" Cori sputtered. They failed to hide a sniffle as they jumped up to roll Max over and onto his back. "Max, are you okay?!" Max shoved a thumb's up above him with more strength than he had left; the fist careened back down, and he had to exert herculean force to keep it from smacking into his nose. "Wh-what are you doing! Why are you here?"
Max held one nubbin up to ask for a minute, learning from his mistakes this time by bracing it against his chest. Though, apparently it looked like he was pointing up, because Cori started dragging him up to a sitting position. They grabbed him from under his armpits, which miraculously didn't make him faint from his left shoulder's protests—though it very much did still protest.
"Kachu," Max thanked. It wasn't what he wanted, but he wasn't an easy pikachu to lift, so he appreciated the effort. He also appreciated Cori not acknowledging his slips. Thanks to their 'swimming lessons', though, he'd probably used more pika-speak on this God-forsaken hill. Still, he needed Cori to understand him.
"Erm, sorry," he mumbled after a moment's focus. He was still breathing heavily enough to scrape at his throat and slouching so far forward he struggled to keep his balance, but he wasn't the one who needed help right now. "I'm really sorry for Eleos." Even such a short sentence took a lot out of him to say, partially thanks to the instincts he had to fight to say it. He got it out, though, so now, he could rest and wait for Cori's response.
It took more focus to rest than he realized, though. He had to put so much effort into breathing away the stars and darkness fighting to consume his vision that he didn't notice Cori wasn't responding for… well, he couldn't keep track of time well, either. Maybe Neb meant that he shouldn't go after Cori earlier.
Regardless, he was there, and barring an act of God (or a sudden, very foreseeable loss of his consciousness), he wasn't going anywhere. He wished he had the energy to try and get their attention again at first, but as he overcame his panting breath, as the quiet stillness regained its hold, he decided to let it stay. Even if he could force out enough air for another try, the simple silence had its own words to share. Cori's own uneven breath, their unbidden whimpers that forced their way out—even those they managed to choke down weren't silent—and the subtle burbling of the spring sitting before them both. Even despite the murmurs of terror at hearing it, Max couldn't deny the rumbling tranquility it brought.
He started to feel Cori's tears fall down their face and realized his awareness had spread out of its own accord. If it started spreading further, it could easily overwhelm him, but it seemed content where it was. Stretching out just far enough to feel his friend, the spring, it brought him a deeper serenity that he couldn't refuse. With enough oxygen to stay upright, he took an extra breath to taste the air. The wet, green chill sprinkled through his nose and down his throat.
Cori's gaze grew less distant with time. Their eyes steadily, likely of their own accord, started focusing on the scenery around them. They bounced from distant trees, or maybe those far off mountains, the sky, even as close as the spring. More and more, their gaze made its way closer and closer, but it flatly refused to look remotely to their right—the side Max sat on.
"Why are you here?" they whimpered. They couldn't bring themselves to look at him, so they stared at the ground between their paws instead.
Max pulled himself up enough to stretch his back (stiff already?) and tried to think of an answer. "I didn't really think of why," he said. He let himself gracefully flop onto his back; if Cori noticed, they didn't react at all. "I heard Eleos, saw you were gone, and next thing I know, I'm halfway up this hill."
As he spoke, Cori crumpled into themself more and more. Their paws clenched and unclenched in a steady rhythm, and their gaze slowly returned to that distant stare, though it never got quite so far off as earlier.
"I'm sorry," they whimpered out. A few more tears trickled down from their eyes.
Max let it hang for a moment, mostly because he didn't really know what to say. He'd gotten used to their excessive apologizing, but that still didn't tell him what to do with it. "Why's that?" he finally managed.
Cori shrugged with a few furtive glances around the grass beneath them. Since staring would've put too much pressure on them, Max was glad he could 'see' them anyway. They at least weren't pinned to the grass this way, though they still squirmed as if they were. Their answer took a while to come out, but Max could feel it coming from the tightening in their throat. Finally, they answered, "Overreacting."
"What?" Max shot back—too aggressive. "Sorry." Cori'd already crumpled a bit more against the outburst. Max cursed himself, but tried to hid as much from them. "Look, you didn't overreact. That was." Max shook his head. Why. Why did he have to fall in love with such an idiot. "Eleos shouldn't have—"
"I made everyone worry for no reason," Cori whispered. It was sort of a good sign they'd built up the energy to interrupt him, but it felt more like they just couldn't hear him, too stuck in their own head. Max wanted to rest a paw on Cori's shoulder, but they were on his left side. He considered trying anyway, but shook his head.
"You didn't do anything," Max said. He hated eye contact, but forced himself to look their way for emphasis. Luckily, they didn't return his gaze for now. Possibly because they couldn't even see him do it with his head laying down behind them. "Eleos was a dick. It is a dick."
"You're just saying that," Cori said, crossing their arms. "You obviously don't feel that way about it." Max felt a twinge of embarrassment. They had been laying it on a bit thick, but it was excited—and so was he!—so, why shouldn't they? "Don't act like you don't like it."
"Well, sort of a love-hate relationship," Max forcibly chuckled. Levity, they needed levity. Hopefully the forced chuckle was enough, because he didn't have any energy for more. "It still gets on my nerves, it's just. Y'know." He gestured vaguely at the air. "Love's, like. When someone annoys you?" Good God, was he really ready for a relationship? "But, look, that's not the point."
As little as he wanted to, he forced himself to sit up and shake his head to force himself back on track. That was enough for Cori to finally glance his way, but they quickly looked back to the ground. "It said something it shouldn't have. No matter how you reacted, you're not the one who made anyone worry, all right?" he said. They didn't respond, but they didn't seem to reject the idea either. "I'd've been worried if you hadn't run off, too." He gave a thoughtful glance to the side. "Probably more, honestly."
"I could've acted normal," Cori grumbled. Max wanted to challenge that wording, but they weren't done yet, so he forced himself to let them finish. "Just pretended I was fine. Then, I wouldn't have…." They glanced at Max's sling. "I could've just not made you worry."
Max had to fight the urge to argue that, with his awareness and Eleos's… Eleos-ness, they literally couldn't have pretended they weren't upset. Logistics weren't the important part here. "Look, I'm fine, all right?" Cori narrowed their eyes at him. Was he really that bad at lying? Not important—he forced himself not to think about it. "Even if I'm not, it's not good to act like you're fine with something you aren't."
"It's not okay to act fine when you're not?" Cori asked with vicious irony.
Okay, Max had to admit they had a point. A petty point, but a point nonetheless. "Okay, fine, no, I'm not fine," he said. "Look, I'm not good about this, either." He felt the confidence in his voice waver. "I get why you want to." He couldn't bring his gaze to theirs, anymore. "I'm. I'm pretty good at it myself." It felt manipulative to bring it up, but he couldn't think of a better alternative. "That's…." He also didn't want to talk about it in general. But, if he was going to ask Cori to be more vulnerable…, "Trying to ignore how I feel is why I went to live in Dungeons."
Just like he expected, a massive weight dropped between them. Guilt shivered down Cori's spine. It couldn't be unsaid anymore, though. "It was always about shutting everyone out," Max mumbled. "I just." He shook his head. He couldn't think of a way to continue that thought that wouldn't end in tears—Cori's or his own. "I care about you, all right?"
If he went on at all, he would end up crying. As much as vulnerability helped, this was about Cori. He didn't need to go into detail about his own experience.
Cori couldn't look away from him anymore. Even without Eleos in his subconscious, Max could feel the stab of their guilt in his heart. "I-I could've still been more mature about it," Cori said. "I always run away." They tugged their arms across each other and forced their gaze away from Max. "It's easier."
A painful jab of familiarity cut through Max's chest. So, this is what his partner felt in their conversations.
"It's actually pretty brave to do that," Max said. Cori shot their head around to glare at him. "What, do you think pretending you're okay is the brave thing to do?" Too much bite came out when he spoke, but he couldn't hold it back. "Pretending to be happy? Is that really that hard? You were doing it pretty well earlier."
Cori almost objected, but Max didn't let them. He couldn't rein himself in. "Go ahead, act fine. Don't want anyone to worry, right?" He barely managed to hold back yelling by clenching his teeth. "Because it's for them, right? You don't want to burden anyone else with knowing you?" He felt a growl billowing from his throat. "Do you really think—" He bit himself back to try and reclaim his speech. "Do you really think knowing you is a burden? That caring—"
Cori had started crying again. Silently. That's why Max didn't notice until he finally made out their expression through his tirade. All his anger shifted to a cut of regret in his stomach. He'd come here to help them, and then he yelled at them. He wanted to rip his ears off.
"C-Cori, I'm," he started, but bit himself back again. Despite his best efforts, he'd ended up crying anyway. And he slipped again. His arm came up to wipe his tears away while he tried to force any amount of calm back into himself. "K-ka—k-c-Copi—" He chomped his mouth shut. The attempts cut into him further. Why did he even try helping when he couldn't even talk?
No, not now. He tensed his shoulder just a bit to pull himself out of the spiral. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as he'd expected. It was actually healing. Thank God pokémon heal so fast. Otherwise, he'd probably have been in a coma by the time Dark Matter threw the Earth into the sun.
"Come on, girl," Max mumbled, intentionally in pika-speak. "Get it together." This wasn't about her. This was about Cori. She hadn't quite gotten over that soul-searching session with Neb yesterday. Maybe she never would, but she needed to push through for now. "I'm sorry, Cori. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."
Cori didn't answer. Their eyes trained on him, but distant. Max doubted their eyes would follow him if he moved. He had no real way of checking if they'd even heard him, though he could somehow tell they weren't exclusively off in their own world. They weren't despondent. They were trying to look at him, but their eyes would only mostly cooperate.
"I just care about you, Cori," Max said again, then glanced their way. "A lot." His paw traced the lining of the sling Neb gave him as an excuse to keep him from facing Cori more than absolutely necessary. "I've… felt similar before. Probably said a lot of the same things, too." The very few memories threatening to breach their containment made it feel like he was talking to his past self, but no, he shook that idea out of his head. It was Cori. It wasn't him. Cori wasn't anything like him.
They didn't deserve what he deserved.
"You're… you aren't like that, though," he said. Cori managed to look at him instead of past him, but he wished he couldn't notice. The mere acknowledgment they were there together again terrified him. He couldn't quite tell why he wanted to be there. He never really decided to come. He just came.
"I'm doing an awful job. I just wish I could help," he said. "Maybe it's just wishful thinking that I'm doing it for you." He cradled his slung arm and looked away. "It's just, I wish I could pay you back." He took a deep breath, wishing he could stop himself, but more tears had already started to fall. The thought of it all alone was hard to brush against, much less saying it, but it was his last chance at saying anything useful.
"D-did I ever tell you why you're so important to me?" he asked, glancing their way. He knew the answer, knew he hadn't, but it bought him time.
Cori took a moment to respond, but they had started following a bit more responsively for a while. They tilted their head, then shook it no. Thus, it was back to Max.
Max took a breath and looked back down. "I… after I ran from Neb, I knew I couldn't just go into a Dungeon and rot," he mumbled. Every single word felt like a boulder he had to push up a mountain, only to have it fall and leave him with another word and another mountain. "So, I wanted to find a secluded place. A-A place no one would visit for a while."
He'd continued crying more, but the stream of tears didn't wrench sobs out of him anymore. "If I couldn't forget everyone else, I hoped at least everyone else could forget me." He tugged his arm closer. It hurt his shoulder, but he pulled it tighter anyway. "And that, maybe since I'd been so shit to everyone, nobody would notice that I was gone."
His eyes landed on the spring. He couldn't pull them away. The place he'd felt his life fade. Where he'd come to never be seen again. "I thought, if I was lucky, nobody would ever have to see me again." He'd already barely managed to speak at all, but he could barely even whisper, "Not alive, at least."
The world went still. He hadn't let himself think about it since. Couldn't. Even now, he couldn't admit it straight. He only had to hope he was obvious enough already. Going off Cori's stunned silence, it was. The spring burbled like it always did, feeding into the same shallow stream he'd followed up the hill that day. Only tiny trickles made it out on its right side, all converging a few feet away into one shared stream, fates entwined like string. Barely enough to make it out on their own, but flowing and growing together to carve their own path down the terrain.
"You didn't save my life when you pulled me out of the spring," Max said, carefully enunciating each word so his speech didn't slip. "You were someone I could make happy. I figured, if I couldn't be happy anymore, I could at least make you happy."
Despite the continuing stream, a small smile managed to push its way across his lips. "Caring about people isn't a burden, Cori." He looked up at the sky to blink his vision clear, then looked over to Cori as his smile grew. "It's the most beautiful part of being human." He rolled up onto his hindlegs and went over to offer them a paw. "Thanks for let—"
Cori tackled him to the ground in a hug. They rolled along the grass too fast for Max to keep up with. Even once their momentum slowed to a stop, Max felt the world spinning around him. Even still, Cori remained stalwart and strong as an anchor keeping him. They squeezed his arm into him so tight that he could feel his shoulder starting to protest, but it had healed a bit anyway. After all, he still didn't know what Neb had planned, so maybe it could do to re-injure it.
Just a little.
Even though they were a water-type, Max was surprised how wet they managed to make his chest. He almost wished he brought a towel, thinking it'd probably start getting cold soon. No, maybe not, since his time in the Void Lands was a lot shorter than it felt.
After a bit, though, his shoulder's protest grew louder and louder until he had to push them off. Pushing at their chest made Cori squeeze him tighter and it was suddenly a lot harder to see with all the white burning his vision. "P-pi chu," Max wheezed. Oh God, of all the times to slip. He felt the barely mended muscle ripping itself apart again.
They started squeezing him tighter. He couldn't see anything but white anymore. All the energy he had left dripped off him like the tears flowing over him. Before he completely faded, he forced a shock out to hopefully get their attention, which it did.
But he didn't have the presence of mind to really control the strength of it. So, their muscles seized their hug tighter, and Max couldn't really tell what happened after.
"I cannot help who you love
My love, my love, my love, mine
My love, my love, my love,
Mine"
Shaking, something was—no, she was shaking. Why was she doing that? She really didn't have the energy for that. Did she have energy? What was she? Where was she? Who… who was she?
Okay, no, she knew that one. She knew she knew that one. It sounded very familiar, tip of her tongue. She could almost think of it, but she couldn't stop shaking, and that was taking up precious resources she'd need if she wanted to answer that. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, she started making out a voice yelling that distracted her further.
"M-Max! Max! Max?! Max! Max! Max!?"
Oh, right, Max. She was Max. Maybe the voice wasn't so bad after all. She needed to thank it. She tried to hum some kind of thank you out, but the shaking made it really hard. Hopefully the voice got the gist. Maybe the voice could make her stop shaking, too.
The piercing white of her vision started letting a blanket of blue. Some white remained, which Max had to assume was from the pain, but they moved enough like clouds for her to eventually figure out what she was looking at. Right as she finally processed the sky above her, it vanished, and a totodile took its place.
"MAX?!" Cori screamed. So that's who the voice was. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm really I'm so sorry!"
Max tried to scrunch her face awake and wiggle some of what remained of her energy back in her head. A paw grabbed her by the forehead and stopped her wiggles. When she opened her mouth to whine, another paw shoved something down her throat. She started chewing automatically and instantly wished she hadn't. The familiar taste of spicy, sour milk assaulted her tongue.
She threw herself over to heave what she could out, but she'd already swallowed much more of it than she wanted—any at all. Retch after retch tried to scrape that awful taste out of her throat, but to no avail. The little energy she could manage for her right paw to hold her up waned, but she tried to at least not fall on the Leppa berry. She rolled to the non-load bearing side without thinking much of it.
Her brain made the connection just in time for her to whimper, "Son of a bitch."
"MAX!" Cori screamed behind her. They were really, really doing a number on her ears, but thanks to that pain, she realized that she must not have fallen on her shoulder if she could hurt elsewhere.
It seemed the half-a-bite of berry was also doing what little it could for her. She felt Cori's arms holding her up against their belly. It felt… so nice. The way they held her so close, so firmly, yet somehow, still gently. She reached up to feel their maw with a warm, contented smile. Something felt a bit weird, but she didn't have the presence of mind to mind.
Leaning in to the embrace for a moment, she grabbed their shoulder and pulled herself up to plant a kiss on the side of their mouth. A little, quick peck that they didn't even have time to return, and then she let herself float back down in their embrace.
The embrace wasn't so warm anymore. It felt rigid. Scared? Was it her fault? There was no way she was that bad of a kisser. She looked up at Cori to check if they were really taking her kiss that badly, and it clicked.
She'd just kissed Cori. If she had the energy, she would've loved to hop up and throw herself into the spring. "S-s-sorry about that," she mumbled out. Miraculously, it wasn't pika-speak. She kind of wished it had been. Oh God, had they ever kissed anyone before? "Y-you—I'm—was am I the first girl to kiss you?" The words stumbled their way out of her before she could think them through.
When she did, she wished even harder that she'd slipped into pika-speak.
"Girl?" Cori asked. Max couldn't bear to look. Unfortunately, she already was, so she saw that same smile she'd seen on Neb yesterday.
"Look, I don't know," Max mumbled. A few sheepish sparks bounced off her cheeks while she looked away from them. "Neb convinced me to try it out." As much as she wanted to lie her way out of this, she knew that not only was her chance of success pretty terrible, but it felt a bit wrong to hide how she was feeling after what they'd just talked about.
"Congrats!" Cori said, rubbing at her forehead in lieu of a hug. "Should I start calling you a girl, then?"
"Mhm, yeah, thanks, anyway, um, look," she stammered out. "I-I don't know yet. I'm just trying it out, y'know?" Cori nodded, which was good, but they still had that same annoying smile. Max was starting to think Neb was in cahoots with them. "Don't tell anyone, okay? Only when it's just you and me."
"And Neb?" Cori asked.
Max shrank a bit into their hold. There wasn't really any reason they shouldn't. Well, there was one reason, but Max didn't want to say, 'I don't want to admit to Neb I let it slip like this,' out loud. "M-Maybe."
"Does Eleos know you're its girlfriend?" they asked.
"No," Max said, her eyes shooting back to them. "And don't tell it." She didn't really want to explain herself, but Cori looked confused. "It's, this is all really new, confusing, and I don't want to commit to anything before I have to."
Cori looked a bit concerned, but they nodded. "I'm sure Eleos would understand," Cori said. Max had to force herself not to growl about the point they were clearly missing. "I guess that's two things I need to not tell Eleos." She stopped suppressing it for fear that she'd bite them instead.
"Yes," she growled, though they didn't seem afraid of her at all. Of course, why would they? She'd literally just fainted from a hug, and she couldn't get up if she wanted to. Maybe they had the right idea, anyway. No big deal. Who hasn't accidentally kissed a friend after waking up from a little pain-induced faint? It might not be common, but she was probably not the first, at least.
Joke, yeah. She could make a joke out of this. "Well, hope you don't fall for me over that," she said with a forced grin. Her paw went back up to trace their jaw. "If you even think I'm cute." Some part of her—the joke part, she told herself—wondered what they thought about that. "Do you?"
"Not really," Cori said way too readily.
Max deflated in their hold with a flat glare while desperately trying not to think about why that cut her so deep. "Yeah, well, you're not a looker yourself," she grumbled. It wasn't entirely true—they looked fine for a totodile, but fair was fair. She already had someone, after all. Come to think of it, didn't they have a someone they were interested in? They didn't really talk about their life outside of the time they spent together.
Like a clarion call returned the reason she'd come up here in the first place. "Anyway," Max said. Cori looked down with happy curiosity that Max felt a bit bad about dashing. "I'm not going anywhere for a while, so I guess you'll just have to tell me what had you so down earlier."
Her fear came true, and the reminder snuffed out their spark of joy. They weren't completely gone, though. After a bit of convincing themself, and a few false starts, they opened up.
Max wanted to kill their parents by the third sentence.
