Here we go again.
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xoxo
Maria
C/J
Before retiring to her suite, Clarisse decided to say goodbye to her sister, on the pretext that it would be almost impossible to see her the next day. That way, Clarisse wouldn't have to hear the details of her sister's encounter with Joseph. Frederica's room was the second in one of the side corridors. When she rounded the corner, the door wasn't completely closed, and Clarisse heard her sister laugh. Afraid that Frederica was accompanied by Joseph, Clarisse stopped and ended up listening to the rest of Frederica's conversation on the phone. "Don't worry about it. He's already wrapped around my little finger. And when I get back from America, we're going to spend a weekend together." There was silence as the person on the other end of the line spoke. "She doesn't suspect a thing. And he, when he knows it, will be married to me. He won't even know what hit him." Frederica said with a laugh that chilled Clarisse to the bone. "So relax. Everything is going according to plan."
Unable to listen any longer, Clarisse left, but as she turned the corner into the main hallway, she came face to face with Joseph, who was going to Frederica's room. They both stopped, visibly uncomfortable. Clarisse was the first to find the words.
"Good evening, Joseph."
" Your Majesty. I would … Well, I…"
"I was going to say goodbye to Frederica but I remembered that I left an important document unread. Please send her my regards and ask her to excuse me but tomorrow it will be impossible to be with her. Good night, Joseph." And Clarisse continued to walk. The last thing Joseph wanted was for Clarisse to know that he had gone to her sister's room. And now she knew. It was the only place he could go, being in that hallway. Joseph felt his chest tighten. He loved Clarisse but Frederica gave him all the attention he wanted… Damn .
Clarisse returned to her office and locked the door. The moonlight coming through the window was enough for Clarisse to get to the desk without turning on the light. Her hands were shaking, her throat was tight with a knot that almost stopped her from breathing. Slowly, she sat down in her chair and resisted the urge to cry. Enough is enough . She had lived her whole life alone, without enjoying true love. So now it would be the same. She was going to do what he does best: hide her feelings, lift her head and put on a smile. Nothing will change in her relationship with Joseph. They were friends and will continue to be. But Frederica's conversation echoed in her head and she didn't know what to do about it. Her heart told her to tell Joseph. Reason told him that he would probably think it was an argument to keep him away from Frederica... But what if, in fact, the plan Frederica was talking about was something that would harm him? As a friend, wouldn't it be her duty to tell him? Even if he didn't believe her? Clarisse picked up the phone to call Joseph but put it down immediately. I would not interrupt them. The conversation could wait for the next day.
A rattle on the doorknob startled her. Then two soft knocks and his voice...
" Your Majesty ?"
Without answering, Clarisse got up, turned on the light, went to the door and unlocked it, returning to the desk. Joseph opened the door and walked in, following her to the desk. Joseph looked at the papers on top of the desk and then at her, but always in silence. Clarisse sat back down and, seeing that he had looked at the papers, straightened them, as if she had just finished reading them.
"Do you need anything, Joseph?" She said with a smile and indicating the chair to sit down, which he did.
"No, Your Majesty . I just came to see if everything was alright with you. It's too late to be working."
Clarisse ran a hand through her hair, pulling it back, and sat up straight in her chair, trying to look relaxed.
"You're absolutely right and I'm done. I'm to old to work this late anymore. But I couldn't stop coming. And the Palace is so quiet at this time of night… I think it was a good idea to change my schedule… Working at night and sleeping during the day." she said with a laugh. Joseph smiled but his expression was still grim. "What is the matter with you, Joseph? Did something go wrong?" Joseph continued to look at her without answering. Clarisse was initially uncomfortable, but as he remained silent, she began to worry. "Joseph?"
"I haven't been being straight with you, Clarisse."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I have been seeing your sister." Clarisse knew it but saying it, it was like a dagger stuck in her chest. "We've been going out to dinner, to the cinema, to the opera… And today was the day…" Joseph got up and walked to the window, unable to look Clarisse in the eye. She remained silent, praying that the tears would not betray her. "I knew what I was going for when she invited me to her room." Clarisse was at her limit. She didn't want to hear any more.
"Joseph, you are a free man, you don't have to tell me anything…"
Joseph interrupted her "But, believe it or not, I decided that I was not going to continue to deceive her and especially, to deceive you. Sadly, I ran into you and I know perfectly well what you must be thinking."
"I'm not thinking anything, Joseph. It's your personal life. I don't have to interfere."
Still not looking at her, Joseph continued:
"I was standing outside her door three or four minutes before I went in. Frederica was sitting on the sofa, in only her underwear. And within seconds, her clothes and mine were strewn across the floor." Clarisse thought she was going to throw up at that point. "But nothing happened… The perfume wasn't yours, the skin wasn't yours, the voice wasn't yours… I love you, Clarisse."
Clarisse rose and turned to him.
"I see … I don't really know what to do with information as detailed as the one you've just given me. Maybe we have different concepts about what love is. I have to go. I am very tired. Good night, Joseph." He lowered his head, unable to look at her. He, who considered himself a faithful man, had somehow betrayed the woman he loved and the guilt was tearing him apart.
" I'm so sorry , Clarisse. Maybe one day you can forgive me."
Clarisse stopped in front of the office door and without turning around, answered him.
"Right now, I just wanted to understand. Good night, Joseph." And she opened the door and went out.
C/J
The next morning, Clarisse was already reunited with Charlotte when Joseph arrived. He was late, and Clarisse tried to remember a single day when Joseph hadn't been the first to arrive.
"Good morning, Your Majesty , Charlotte. I apologize for my delay."
Clarisse looked at him for a few seconds before answering. He looked like a rag. She could almost bet he hadn't slept a minute. The question was: why… The high probability is that he had spent the night with Frederica.
"Good morning, Joseph. It's perfectly alright. We started just a few minutes ago and we still haven't taken care of anything regarding our trip to San Francisco." Joseph nodded and placed the folder on the table. Charlotte had watched the interaction between the two. There was something wrong and she couldn't put her finger on it.
"Joseph, I have been thinking and I think we should anticipate the trip."
"Anticipate the trip? How many days?"
"Three days. As well as allowing me to recover from the time difference, I want to be able to visit two or three good friends that I haven't seen in years." Joseph and Charlotte looked at her in awe. "I need to ease my mind. So Charlotte, I want to ask you to reschedule everything for the next four days. We leave tomorrow night."
Charlotte was so in awe of the Queen that she even forgot to keep taking notes of their meeting. Clarisse knew perfectly well that any one of them would object to her idea, but she was determined to do what she wanted. She was the Queen and this time, things were going to be done her way.
"Before you reschedule anything, Your Majesty , I want the names of the people you plan to visit. First I have to do a background check and then we can figure out what to do." Joseph was irritated. Who did the Queen want to visit? What friends are these? You don't make a trip a
three days in advance… And to visit FRIENDS? No way ! No way !
"That won't be necessary, Joseph."
"I don't allow you to go visit anyone without me first knowing who it is." Joseph said. Charlotte nearly had a heart attack. That it was way out of line… No one spoke like that to the Queen … Clarisse was at first amazed by Joseph's response and his tone of voice. But then she got really upset.
"Joseph, I am not asking permission." She said trying her best to remain calm.
"But you need my permission, yes!"
Charlotte was in a panic. She didn't want to witness an argument between the Queen and the Head of security . And least of all when it looked like something was very wrong between the two of them.
" Your Majesty , I have to make a phone call…" Charlotte said shyly, trying to leave the office under any pretext. Clarisse knew perfectly well that there were no phone calls to be made, especially since that time was always reserved for morning meetings between the three of them, but she understood that Charlotte was desperate to get out.
"Certainly, Charlotte." She and Joseph were silent until Charlotte closed the office door, then Clarisse turned to Joseph and gave him an icy look.
"Don't you dare talk to me in that tone of voice. I don't admit it! I don't need your permission for anything. Is that understood?"
Now it was Joseph's turn to be surprised. But she wasn't going to win.
"You are mistaken, Your Majesty . Your safety is my job And you can't just decide that you're going to spend three days visiting friends I don't even know. I won't allow it. Now, if you are doing this because of Frederica…"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Joseph. Your relationship with my sister has nothing to do with this matter. I want and will visit some friends, whether you like it or not. Even I am entitled to a private side. Having three days exclusively for myself, without the entire Nation knowing about every step I take."
Joseph got to his feet, visibly agitated. He had spent the night awake but not with Frederica... Initially, he stayed for more than two hours in the Queen's office, ashamed of himself for all the attention he had given to Frederica, when the one he loved was Clarisse. Tired and not knowing what to do to remedy the tremendous blunder he had made and to make Clarisse forgive him, Joseph went to his room and lay down on top of the bed. He needed his rest, but in his mind, the image of Clarisse, her perfume, her body pressed against his, the softness of her lips … Oh God … What had he done?
"Clarisse, you have to be reasonable. Those friends of yours will certainly be people you haven't seen in a long time. People change. " Joseph said, calmer.
"You are absolutely right about that… People change!" Joseph understood Clarisse's answer perfectly well.
"Clarisse, you have to let me explain…"
"Joseph, if you mean Frederica, there is nothing to explain. I already knew for some time as you can imagine. The maids know everything... I can't help but tell you that I was disappointed that you never told me. I had to meet you at the door of my sister's room so that you could have a word with me. And yes, I was very disappointed. I thought we were at least friends!"
"And we are friends, Clarisse. In fact, we're much more than friends…" Joseph stopped a few feet's from her and grabbed her hands. Clarisse looked into his eyes and stood up but didn't remove her hands.
"No, Joseph. We are nothing more than friends. If we were, none of this would have happened."
"But the truth is that between me and your sister, nothing happened."
"If you consider nothing the walks, dinners, nights at the cinema, kisses, caresses, both of you being naked in her room… So two kisses, given six months ago, are truly insignificant!" Joseph felt close to fainting.
"Don't ever say that, Clarisse! I…" His voice was now determined and authoritative. How could she think such a thing? Clarisse let go of his hands and started toward the door.
"Please Joseph. Don't insult me anymore. I'm not going to talk about this again. As I told you, our friendship remains and I fully trust my Head of security but, regarding Frederica, we are spoken. And maybe it's a good idea for you to have some rest, to start getting your things ready. We leave tomorrow. Have a good day, Joseph." And Clarisse left, not waiting for a response from him.
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Xoxo
Maria
