This is for everyone who says they're tired of Edward's angst. Let's see what happens when you get your wish. (loosely inspired by Silque's AU in progress, "Concerto", a great read with lots of lovely Chopin nocturnes and an adorable Edward.)
Edward: Bella… now that we've known each other for a few days, there's something I need to tell you.
Bella: *deep breath* I had a feeling there was something. Okay, shoot.
Edward: I'm actually an undead monster, commonly called a vampire, and yes we DO drink blood, but it's okay because we usually try to bite animals, not people. I'm over a hundred years old, and I've murdered a fair amount of people, though I promise it's been a while. We're already in love which makes you my eternal mate, which in turn means you have no choice in the matter, but that's okay, because I don't either! My psychic sister informs me that I will be taking you home with me and changing you into a vampire ASAP. It involves me biting you in the throat and hopefully not killing you myself. Y'know… maybe I'll just have my dad do it, he's really a pro at this. You'll like him. No worries, though, the intractable pain only lasts three days and the newborn madness and bloodlust lasts only for about a year, tops. I would ask you to marry me, but I already heard you say yes (eventually) through Alice's visions—I'm a mind reader by the way, that's how I did that—so here's your ring. Isn't it great? It was my mother's. My dad—the one who bit me, I mean—pried it off my dead mother's hand back in 1918. But now it's yours!
Bella: *blinks, looks down at hand* Um, okay.
Well, whaddya know? It worked anyway. Still, I think the angst is more fun.
