So, even in my *real* headcanon Felix is in charge of Human Resources i.e. declaring his eternal love to every secretary in turn. He promises to speak to the Three about changing her after a couple of years of exemplary service. It's the Volturi's way of ensuring that people like Gianna don't blab, and that they work hard every minute of their tenure. Of course Felix always has a nice snack in the end. Demetri is completely grossed out because he doesn't see the draw.

Aro: Yes, Felix?

Felix: *slight bow* About Gianna, Master... She's getting old. Her blood is practically past its expiration date, and I'm so thirsty! Please?!

Aro: Ah, I understand, my old friend. And you are in luck; just this morning we engaged a new secretary.

Demetri, in hall: Where are you off to in such a hurry?

Felix: *holds up diamond ring* I'm getting engaged!

Demetri: Congratulations. You're disgusting.