Go sh, you've truly turned him into a pathetic weeping dog.
Those words make Alice's chest burn, rage bursting as the woman takes a step forward.
-Major, love, I've come for you, I know you might be mad at me for giving you up to the Volturi, but you must understand, it was just business. But now it's all done, I hope you don't hold a grudge, I mean, if all, this is retribution for how you left me before. Let's call it even, yes?
María's words alone made Alice seethe, just business? She fucking gave him up to be tortured as if he were nothing but an object. And how insane was she to compare what the Volturi did to him to how he left her? He didn't hurt anyone when he left, not even her.
So what the hell was there even when the Volturi had completely destroyed him?
She could feel him shaking in her hold, fingers clutching her shirt, God, how was she even suppose to get him out of here or even get up? To protect him at all?
-Don't.- Alice warned as María took another step closer, her grip on Jasper tightening, shit, she needed to get them out of here, but how? How was she even suppose to outrun her? Jasper couldn't run and Alice wasn't exactly the fastest vampire out there.
Alice's never felt as powerless as she did right now.
And then the worst happened.
María pounced.
And Alice's body moved before she could even think, her fist connecting with María's jaw as she threw a punch, sidestepping just in time to block María's attempt at dodging her punch.
Marble cracked across the mexican's jaw, anger flashing in the woman's eyes before she was throwing a fist at Alice who barely managed to dodge it in time, María took advantage of it to try and go for Jasper.
-Don't you dare to touch him!- Alice snapped, slamming into María as the woman yanked Jasper by the hair, the force of the impact sent them both on the ground several feets away from him, Alice cursed at it.
Because fighting on the ground wasn't her fort, and María managed to pin her, her fingers locking in a tight grip around her throat with such force she heard marble crack as a shot of pain burst around her neck.
-Aro said that he wanted you alive, but I don't see any reason to not give him his new favorite toy in the exact same state he left mine, a pathetic weeping dog.
Bones snapped.
~
Jasper couldn't focus.
All he could tell was that he couldn't stop shaking, his throat was closed and there was an emotional signature in the air that made his hairs stand on end and the world feel too thin, suffocating.
He wanted to run, hide, disappear.
But then he felt it.
Pain.
From… someone, he couldn't focus, but it was important, she was important, she was in pain, mad.
He didn't want her to be in pain.
Red flashed in his vision as the reek of venom hits him, venom, her venom.
It's her venom, and she's in pain, and he wouldn't let anyone hurt her.
She's his, his. Alice is his.
Rage explodes with the exact same unforgivable might as his bones, he doesn't care about the pain nor the wrongness of it, he won't let anyone hurt Alice.
He isn't strong enough to protect her, but he can very much change it.
His bones scream, feels like some might shatter into a million pieces, but he doesn't care, not even about the splitting fire across his legs, all he knows is that when the bones stop rearranging themselves he pounces at the woman.
Snarling as this one dodges him, he can't let her escape, he must protect Alice, and so he gives chase to the woman, slamming into her when this one halts, his eyes burn, but he could care less, he must take her down, he must protect Alice.
And so he bites down, ceramic snaps, venom fills his mouth as he tears marble flesh apart, sinking his fangs into it and crushing bones.
And he doesn't stop ripping and tearing until he can no longer feel the burning hatred, the sour fear, the bitter anger.
He bites and bites and bites.
~
Alice knew Jasper could shapeshift, she saw him do so several times in the past, but she never expected that María grabbing him would be the catalyst for him to shapeshift.
And still, she knew something was wrong the moment she heard it.
The sound of his bones alone was enough to make her wince, but his hind legs, his hind legs, it horrifies her how skin splits open as bones rip through it and he doesn't even flinch , in fact, he runs, his hind legs look broken and he runs.
And not for the first time in her life she curses his pain tolerance, because he's hurting himself. She gives him chase, but for someone who's hind legs are injured he sure is faster than her.
María's even faster, and still, Jasper catches up to her, Alice's not even sure why María stops, but that abrupt stop gave Jasper the chance to take her down.
And he tore her apart, Alice didn't stop him.
Someone might have thought how revenge wasn't part of "good morals", but Alice could care less, specially because María was, in part, to blame for the horrors Jasper had to go through.
So she doesn't stop him.
And still, something about the ease with which María let herself be caught…
Jasper stops.
She can hear him panting, and his whole body is shaking, she didn't even know he could shapeshift into a giant wolf, all she ever saw him shapeshift as was either a mouse or something equally small to hide in her purse or a snake to hang around her neck, never something so massive.
She was quite sure he was bigger than Jacob's wolf form.
And still.
-Jazz?- She calls as she circles him, her voice soft in case he gets spooked.
It's not until she comes to stand before him that she sees it.
His eyes.
His eyes.
-Oh God.
~
Alice had taken Jasper back home, had snatched some clothes Emmett kept in the garage for when he came back from hunting covered in mud.
Shapeshifting back into his original form had done nothing but mess even more with Jasper's legs to the point where Alice had to carry him back to the room, and he only let her do so because there was no one else at home.
And because he couldn't see anything.
The reason María had made that abrupt stop had been so she could throw vervain at Jasper, right into his eyes, Alice had called Carlisle, because she had no idea what to even do, even more so because of the state Jasper's legs were in, and he wouldn't stop bleeding.
It had taken over 10 minutes for Carlisle to arrive and it had been the longest 10 minutes of her life, but he had fixed Jasper's legs, and now…
-Is he blind?- Alice questions as she watches Carlisle frown, he's holding a flashlight infront of Jasper.
-No, I don't think so, his eyes seem perfectly fine.- Carlisle said as he shone the flashlight on Jasper's left eye, his eyes weren't harmed, aside from the abnormal glazing his eyes seemed to be in perfect health, they reacted to stimuli and Jasper had said he could see, just blurred.
His breathing was a bit uneven, and he kept flinching whenever Carlisle touched him, and he couldn't help but wonder what had happened, Jasper still flinched a lot with him, yes, but not as bad as he was doing right now.
He turned to look at Alice as he put the flashlight down.
-What exactly happened?
His question got him a troubled look from Alice and silence from Jasper, in fact, he turned on the bed to give Carlisle his back, Alice, who was sitting on the other side of the bed, gave Jasper a sad look before getting up, motioning for Carlisle to follow her.
Once outside, Alice threw another look at Jasper, suddenly, her sad expression turned into one of complete anger, such hatred like nothing Carlisle's ever seen.
Even less from Alice.
-María came for him.
Carlisle felt his dead heart drop at those words, horror filling him.
-She did that to him?
-No, I mean, she threw the vervain at him, but his legs… he shapeshifted and his bones just broke.
Carlisle frowned at those words, and still, it did make sense, Jasper's body was extremely weak right now, specially his legs, shapeshifting was an ability that put tremendous strain on a vampire's body, their bones breaking and rearranging to mimic an animal's skeleton.
In Jasper's current state… it stood to reason he wouldn't be able to shapeshift without something going wrong.
Carlisle had seen it, his legs had broken in such a way the cartilage from his knees had snapped, and Carlisle worried that Jasper shapeshifting might have caused irreparable damage.
What if the cartilage didn't grew back? Vampires could heal from injuries that would kill humans or give them permanent disabilities, but even vampires had limits.
What if he could never walk again?
And his eyes…
-You should help him wash his face, it might help with his eyes.- Carlisle said, he had the feeling a lot more had happened in that altercation, but he also had the feeling Alice wouldn't give him answers.
But since both of them seemed alright, he decided to let it go, both were alright, alive, more than he had expected if an altercation with María happened.
Still.
Something about Alice's eyes… she was calm, but there was a dangerous storm brewing behind her serene expression.
And Carlisle wondered what exactly had happened.
Meanwhile, Alice went to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, filling it with water before going back to her room, she grabbed a clean cloth from bathroom before coming up to sit with Jasper, leaving the bowl on the nightstand.
-Hey, how are you feeling?- Alice asked, her voice soft as her hand came to rest on top of Jasper's head.
Silence was her answer.
-Can I wipe your face? It's just water, Carlisle said it might help your eyes.- She said, he shrugged, still not looking at her.
She frowned, but she still grabbed the cloth, soaking it in the water before twisting it around to get rid of the excess of water, she then used it to gently wipe his face.
He let her do it, but he didn't speak nor did he even look at her, something about his eyes…
She felt like she was missing something, but what?
And when she was done he hid his face against the pillow, she frowned.
-Jazz?- She called, stroking his hair when he kept quiet, what was wrong? Was he in pain? Or was he just tired?
No.
She knew what was wrong the second he curled even tighter, pushing her hand away.
Of course, and she hated the sole reminder of it, of what Aro had done to him, it infuriated her to no end, and she wanted nothing more but to go to Volterra and tear that bastard apart.
She wanted to shreds him to pieces, she's never felt this kind of anger before, the impotence, the frustration, because Aro- she curled her fingers into fists, she couldn't even think about it without feeling her venom boil.
This was much worse than she had first thought. She had had him infront of her, and she had done nothing.
And she wished she could have the bastard infront of her, all so she could skin him alive.
But she can't go to Volterra, no matter how much she's craving to do so right now, she can't give in, the only reason she hasn't bolted out of that door just yet was because of Jasper, she couldn't leave him, much less now, he needed her.
She couldn't leave.
Meanwhile, Jasper wants to die.
His fingers are digging into his ribs, and he can feel his eyes stinging, he doesn't know whether it's the vervain or something else, but his throat burns too, he feels…
Filthy.
Ashamed, angry, terrified, alone .
Alice is with him, and still, right now, he feels like he's completely alone in the world.
Because he's much more filthy than he ever expected himself to be.
It was bad enough that a woman had overpowered him and touched him against his will in places he hadn't wanted to be touched. Even now, he can still remember her hands, her voice.
But this was different, so different, because this time around the one who did it was a man. It fills him with a much more overwhelming feeling of being dirty, he feels ashamed, hateful, angry, because he can remember the laughter, the insults, the hands.
And Alice must hate him, he just knows it, she would be beyond disgusted. He wouldn't blame her, he was disgusted of himself too, he was weak, pathetic, disgusting, if he couldn't protect himself, how could he ever aim to protect her?
And he still feels dirty , he digs his fingers even harder into his ribs.
He wants to scream, to break something, but he can't even fucking stand.
Suddenly, gentle fingers curled around his wrist.
-Jazz?
Alice's voice was soft, her emotions sad, and he hates it, he hates that there's no disgust, no disappointment, no hatred, because at least that way he would know how to react.
But all he can feel is sadness, comfort, understanding, love.
How can she still feel love for him? He couldn't even look at her face without feeling like shame would eat him alive. Couldn't she just leave and let him be miserable on his own?
-Hey, you don't have to hide from me.- He cursed her gentle voice, why? Why did she always had to be so good with him? Why did she always have to be so understanding? He never knew how to deal with her.
He was a nightmare, and he was more fucked up than what could be worth it, so why did she still insist on wasting her time with him? Even more so now? He was disgusting.
-Jazz, you know I love you, right?- The honesty in her words felt like a knife slicing through his chest, his throat burnt even more.- I will always love you no matter what, understand?
He didn't answer.
Because what was he suppose to answer in this situation? How could she love him when he was so stained? When there was so much filth crawling beneath his skin? He was weak, a woman and a man had given him stains that would never leave, how could she even bear to touch him? To be anywhere near him?
He felt a weight rest on his shoulder, and it took him a moment to realize she had rested her head on his shoulder, her thumbs stroking his wrists.
Her emotions were so overwhelming, so much love, affection, understanding, sympathy, sadness, warmth.
-I love you and I will forever do so, regardless of anything. You're one of the strongest people I know, and I don't mean it just in the physical aspect, you're strong because you survived, you're so kind, and you always protect those you care about. You're not weak, nor pathetic, and you are certainly not disgusting.
Jasper didn't answer.
-I'm sorry this happened to you, and I want you to know that you aren't alone, I care about you, if you want to talk I want you to know that I'll be here to listen or help you in any way I can. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me… You can talk to Rosalie, I promise you that she above all won't judge, you can trust her.
Alice kept her voice soft as she spoke, soft enough for only Jasper to hear, she didn't think he would be pleased for anyone else in the house to know about this, but she wanted him to know that he could come to her if he wanted to talk, and if he didn't felt comfortable with her…
He could always talk with Rosalie, while she didn't tell him the specifics, seeing that that wasn't her business to divulge, she wanted him to at least speak to her, Rosalie above all would know better what to say, she would understand, and she might even be able to give him the comfort Alice couldn't.
The understanding and the empathy, he would feel less alone and less miserable if he had someone who had actually gone through what he did, who could actually understand.
She felt her heart break when she heard the muffled sob.
-It's alright, I'm right here.- She soothed, rubbing soft circles around his back and pressing a soft kiss against his shoulder.
Jasper for his side felt like all he's been holding in these past months had finally snapped, because he's tried so hard to keep himself calm.
But now… remembering all those stares, all that laughter, the hands, it feels like too much.
And Alice's warm words and emotions don't help at all.
He hates that he can't stop crying, it feels like a dam's collapsed, and all he can do is just let it all flood out, all the pain, the anger, the shame, the hatred, the frustration, the fear, the impotence of being unable to do anything at all.
He doesn't even know for how long he cries, but whenever it feels like it will end, more tears burst out, and he hates it.
And still, Alice never leaves, the weight on his shoulder, her hand rubbing his back… it fills his chest with a warm feeling, light, and more friggin tears come out.
It feels like the tears would never stop, but at some point, he feels himself calming down, Alice's hand never stops rubbing his back, not even when his sobs die down, and he finds himself feeling glad for that fact, her touch…
It's never made him feel uncomfortable, not even when he first met her, he had been terrified of how little to none negative emotions her touch instilled in him.
It had been soothing and actually something he had craved to feel.
He touched her hand, the one that was still holding his wrist, his own fingers curling around her wrist. Her emotions are still warm, like a neverending waterfall of all that is warm and bright about the world.
It made him feel like when he first met her in that diner.
He had been sitting down, and then there she was, inviting herself to sit across from him with a little smile and sparkling eyes.
Her emotions had felt like being assaulted by a tsunami, a tsunami of such intense love and adoration, such might in those emotions, had he been standing he would have collapsed on his knees. He had immediately become completely and absolutely dazzled by her and her odd emotions.
Her little smile as she introduced herself to him, her giddiness when he held his hand out, wanting to see what would she do with her "palm reading" abilities, her gentle touch across his scars as she claimed he had nice hands, the concerning amount of sugar she poured on the coffee, her genuine curiosity as she asked him about his favorite color, music or who even was his first kiss.
Everything about her had been hypnotizing, she had filled him with curiosity, fascination, hope.
And when she stole that kiss from him he had known there was no way he was letting her walk out of that diner alone, not when she had been giving him such hopeful eyes.
Thus, he had taken her hand.
He had found it a bit doubtful, that of the Cullens, a coven that fed off of animals and coexisted as equals, a family where everyone protected and cared about each other, where they didn't have to fight or kill for food, safety or even respect.
And while doubtful, while he had wondered if the Cullens had even been real, part of him had craved for it to be true, he had wanted to see if there was such a thing as that of a peaceful coven where everyone was equal.
That kind of peace had sounded beautiful, and he had craved for it, had craved for a place where he wouldn't have to watch his back at all times because a member might attempt to rip his head off, a place where he wouldn't need to walk on eggshells around the coven leader in fear he might do something wrong and provoke his own demise.
Or worse, Alice's.
But these past months… Alice had been right all along, as impossible and surreal as it was, the Cullens did exist.
Carlisle was… a man with too much compassion at times, but he was kind, he never raised his voice and while he seemed weak, there was something in his gaze that never failed to make Jasper feel as if he should just trust the man, he was reliable, patient and he never seemed irritated over Jasper's snappish attitude.
He was… nice, and the way he would play wrestle with Emmett, or how he would play the piano with Edward, even if simple notes… it made something in Jasper burn.
Because he would have given the world to feel that kind of happiness, that kind of safety… to have been turned by someone who saw him as an actual person and not just a weapon or a tool.
Esme… she was kind too, so kind, her emotions felt warm, a different kind of warm that made him think of hot chocolate infront of a fireplace while fingers card through his hair, lavender in the air and a lulling hum making him feel like nothing could ever go wrong.
She loves her "children" a lot, and at times, more than he's willing to admit, he's found himself sneaking glares at the others, when she hugs Emmett, or when she combs her fingers through Edward's hair to this one's annoyance.
He wished he could spend more time with her, but even now, being around her feels like a test he must walk on eggshells at, because what if he upsets her? What if he says or does something wrong? Everyone in the house seemed particularly protective of her, which he guessed made sense, she was the closest thing to a mother any of them had at this point.
But he wished he could spend a lot of time around her too, he does help her in the garden sometimes, and he also gives her a hand in baking, he likes when she lets him keep the spatula or the bowls covered in frosting or icing before washing them, or the little pieces she cuts from the cakes when she wants to give them a shape.
Point is, he likes her, a lot.
Edward though… Jasper still isn't sure about that one, I mean, he doesn't hate him, and Edward doesn't pose threat to him, but he isn't stupid either, he knows the mind reader regards him with a lot of wariness, and that when he plays the piano with him, he's just doing it to be nice, and because he thinks being nice will make Jasper not go ballistic on those he cares about.
As if he would ever harm them, they knew who he was and what he had done, they had a lot of opportunities to kill him, even make it look like an accidental but they didn't, instead, they helped him.
Jasper wouldn't repay their kindness with death, that would be beyond messed up.
But it's alright, Alice did told him once that Edward was the paranoid kind, he thought it was his job to protect everyone, so, all Jasper had to do was play nice and show him he meant no harm.
Rosalie… Jasper likes Rosalie, a lot, she doesn't care about people's opinions and she's honest, she appears to be cold and like she doesn't care, but he knows best, he knows she cares a lot about her family, and her loyalty… he's never seen anything like it, it makes him wonder sometimes what leads her to be so loyal.
He likes spending time around her, she doesn't attempt to seek conversation from him and she doesn't treat him like he's made of glass, he likes sitting in the garage, just listening to her talk about cars, what was wrong with the car or some amusing story about Emmett and his history with cars throughout the years.
It was nice.
Emmett… Emmett's his favorite, he had to admit that, he was huge and intimidating at first glance, but he was one of the most considerated people he's ever met, he was hilarious and he was smart.
Jasper liked playing chess and baseball with him, he still couldn't get his arms to stay put when throwing or hitting a ball, but he at least could catch a ball now. He's
also grown to like throwing paper planes from the roof when they were left alone, Emmett had been the one to come up with such dumb idea.
And while he had found it a bit doubtful, he had still done so, he could climb walls, but he had still needed Emmett's help to get to the roof, it had been worth it, something about throwing paper planes… it was relaxing, and Emmett was also teaching him how to control a remote controlled helicopter, that one he liked it a lot.
Point is, he likes Emmett a lot too.
Bella was nice too, while she was new and he had no reference for her aside from what he's seen these past months, he could tell she was kind and caring, she seemed to be one of Alice's favorite people, and she liked books.
She seemed to like lending him books she thought he would like, and it was nice to have someone to talk to about books.
Renesmee is also a new one, for what he's learnt, she was half human, half vampire, Bella got pregnant with her when she was still human, Edward turned her after she had a brush with death after giving birth to Renesmee. That girl… he liked her a lot, she sneaked him snacks when no one was looking and she loved books.
She also had an interesting sense of humor, she almost reminded him of his little sister with the mischievous know it all antics.
And Jacob… well, he doesn't know much about him, but he does know he's imprinted on Renesmee, and that he can be an absolute headache when he wants to, Jasper's never spoken to him, but he isn't hostile nor does he suffocates him in as much wariness as he used to, so he guessed that should be a win.
The most interaction he's ever had with him was that time Jasper was practicing his coloring inside the lines skills in the living room, Renesmee had been with him, coloring too. And Jacob had appeared with a bag of marshmallows, he had given some to Renesmee.
And he had offered some to Jasper.
Jasper had accepted them in absolute silence, those had tasted… interesting.
Still.
These people weren't dangerous, Alice had been right, and he wished he had been able to meet them much more ago.
But because he was stupid and underestimated María, because he had trusted her speech of "I just wanna talk", he had ended up losing it all, all he had wished had crumbled right infront of him, things he didn't even had yet, taken from him before he could even get to enjoy it, destroyed, shattered, all hope, crushed.
One good thing was that Alice hadn't been with him, it hadn't taken a genius to know that were the Volturi to learn about her gift they would definitely want her.
And Jasper would never allow it, Alice wasn't meant to become a weapon nor a tool, she was meant to smile and complain about mixing spots with stripes, she wasn't meant to know fear, none of what the Volturi might put her through.
She was the reason he tried so hard to break free, even more so when Aro learnt about her, he had wanted nothing more but to break free and be there for her, protect her before Aro could get his hands on her, he had been so desperated and terrified, even more so because of Demetri's constant comments that made him see red and his stomach turn.
But no matter how hard he fought, he was never able to break free, he couldn't protect her at all, she was the one who had ended up protecting him, finding him and refusing to give up even when he pushed her away.
To think he had someone like that… he always knew she was amazing, but seeing how far she was willing to go for him, how much she was willing to put up with, how she never gives up…
For the first time since he met her, it made him realize the actual weight of her feelings for him, to have such love and loyalty, he never knew there could be anyone capable of feeling that strongly for him.
And he couldn't help but shift on the bed, ignoring the shot of pain that came from his legs, instead, he reached out, pulling her into a hug and nuzzling her neck as he bled his adoration for her all over her, his love, affection, gratefulness. He wanted her to feel as dazzled with his love as she made him feel. He wanted, needed , her to know how much he loved her.
He knew he should tell her, that he remembered, he remembered it all, from the moment he met her to her fingers carding through his hair before he went to sleep, not knowing it would be decades later before he could see her again.
Feeling her fear back in the forest… it had hit something, and he knew everything , but he couldn't tell her, regardless of it all, he can't tell her, he doesn't even know why, fear? Shame? He doesn't know.
But he holds her close, he will tell her, just not yet.
For the time being, he just wants to hold her, he wants to hold her and act like these past decades never happened, like they are just laying on that old couch with the questionable smell at that ugly cabin.
Because sometimes, forgetting was much better than to remember, he's glad he got his memories of Alice back.
But he would have wished for his memories with the Volturi to never come back.
Because remembering those makes his stomach tie into knots, the clinking chains, the fire, the laughter, the touches, the stares, the venom, the muzzle, the nomads, everything is back.
And he hates it.
He tightens his grip around Alice, burying his face against her neck, he wants to hide here, hide and never come back.
Alice for her side smiled as she held Jasper, loving each and every single one of the emotions he was sending her.
Her fingers kept scratching his back, pressing a soft kiss on top of his head.
She knew it would be a long time before things started to grow normal, if that was even possible, and that if one didn't count the looming threat of the Volturi.
But at least he was safe now, and as she had told him, things would get better.
Or at least she hoped so.
A/N: Reminder that Alice and Jasper's meeting is based off of the Storyteller version
I know the fight between Jasper and María could have gone better, just like Alice's and María's. In my defense, fight scenes aren't really my thing, I'm terrible writing those, almost threw the whole chapter away and put the fic on eternal hiatus .-.
PS: I know some parts feel like lazy writing, and that others get out of topic, but bruh, you have no idea how much time I spent trying to get past Alice's initial "Oh God" or even giving some length to this chapter. Like the homeless looking prophet in a bathrobe once said; "writing is hard"~ ;-;
