This is a parody of a scene I was working on today, in which Edward and Rosalie are (yet again) fighting over the bathroom. Their yelling finally got loud enough for everyone else to come upstairs and intervene.


Esme: But I don't understand—we have three bathrooms in this house!

Edward: This is the only one with an exhaust fan.

Rosalie: You're a guy! Go wash your hair in the stupid kitchen sink!

Edward: *baring teeth* How would you like to find yourself with no hair?

Emmett: If you threaten her like that again, you'll find yourself with no face!

Esme: Please don't fight! I'll put in more exhaust fans. No, wait, I'll just build four more bathrooms!

Jasper: Carlisle, everyone's getting upset. Would you please solve this?

Carlisle: I'm torn. On one hand, Edward is my favorite child, but on the other hand, Rosalie always guilts me into getting her way...

Alice: *eyes glaze over* Yep, that's how it ends.

Rosalie: Well, can we just skip to that part, then?!

Edward: You wish!

Jasper: I think we should all sit down and discuss our feelings regarding the shower situation.

Emmett: Can I go first? I feel like punching Edward.

Rosalie: Me too.

Alice: Me three! You don't mess with a woman's hair, Edward!

Carlisle: Me four. I feel strangely furious...

Jasper:

Esme: Where's Jasper?

*bathroom door slams shut*

~moral: never trust an empath with long hair~