So you know my whole drabble where Carlisle simply called Volterra to clear up the whole "immortal child" misunderstanding? I mean why DON'T they have an emergency hotline for vamps to call if their intervention is suddenly needed? Well it turns out they did try it once...

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July 29, 1973

Alec: The project is complete, Master. Our new telephone system is installed and the number has been circulated to all reachable nomads and covens.

Aro: Splendid! Now our loyal subjects will be able to call on us when emergencies arise, and we will be even more revered!

Caius: This is the worst idea ever.

Aro: Oh come, Caius, you needn't pout over every new step of progress. You'll be busier than ever now. I can't wait to receive our first telephone call!

.

*RING*

Garrett: Anonymous tip! There's a newborn loose in Area 51!

*RING*

Garrett (in Spanish): Hello, is this the Volturi? There's an epic battle going on between the Guatemalan and Ecuadorian covens! I just saw it on the humans' television.

*RING*

Garrett (in Swahili): I just wanted to check, immortal children are allowed, yes? Because I just made ten of them.

*RING*

Garrett (in Swedish): Can anything be done about the three separate packs of werewolves who keep trespassing on my territory?

.

*RING*

Emmett: Hello?

Garrett: GUESS WHAT. The Volturi have an emergency hotline now. This is literally the best thing ever.

Emmett: Sweet. Think I could convince them that there's a Romanian vampire agent embedded in NASA?

Garrett: I don't see why not.

.

And that's why the Volturi don't give out their phone number anymore.