I'm back and I missed you all! :)


Edward: I'm observing Lent this year. It's been a while.

Carlisle: Oh?

Edward: I'm thinking of giving up mountain lions.

Carlisle: To what end?

Edward: You're right, that wouldn't be sacrificial enough. I need to give up all carnivores.

Carlisle: *frown* Edward, I'm not sure that's-

Edward: All big game, really. I can survive well enough on the blood of foxes and stray cats.

Carlisle: Edward

Edward: I suppose squirrels would be enough... maybe a rabbit or two on Sundays...

Carlisle: EDWARD

Edward: *head in hands* I know, I know. Fine, I'll give up blood all together. It's only 40 days. I can do that. You went longer than that as a newborn, after all, it's a mere... *fists tighten in hair*... three million, four hundred and fifty-six thousand seconds-

Carlisle: Son breathe. You're completely missing the-

Edward: *hyperventilates* oxygen too?!