BEGINNING

Sophie sat groggily at the rickety round wooden table. Slouched forward with her elbows on the table and one hand holding her forehead in an attempt to ease her pounding headache, Sophie was sure that this was the worst hangover she'd ever had. Nursing a cup of tea, her predicament was made ten times worse by her long lost cousin sat spritely at the other end of the table. She could tell he was nervous by the anxious bouncing of his leg, and while she could appreciate why he was nervous - the motion was really starting to irritate the young girl in her fragile state.

A sudden ringing peeled through the room, provoking a strike of pain through the front of Sophie's head. Groaning loudly, clutching at her ears, she grumpily stood from the table and stalked towards the phone. She quickly lifted the ear piece to her ear, desperate for the ringing sound to stop.

"Hello?" She said hoarsely.

"Well don't you sound like a ray of sunshine, love." Alfie's deep voice laughed.

"I'm hungover alright? It was a late night." Sophie attempted to offer an explanation pathetically.

"Your pub reopening go well then?" Alfie chuckled, taking great amusement in Sophie's complaining.

"You could say that. Turns out Esme's been telling the whole fucking town about my 'special London man'." Sophie rolled her eyes, wincing when it caused more pain to shoot up her forehead.

"Now that best be me she's talking about." Alfie joked.

"Maybe you're one of many, who knows?" Sophie teased back.

"Best get my rifle out then hadn't I, got some special London men to shoot." His gruff voice crackled slightly over the phone as Sophie shifted on her feet.

"The night took a very unexpected turn at the end though. Polly's son, the one I told you about the other day? He's here." She said, her eyes flickering to Michael at the other end of the room.

"Showed up out of nowhere, eh? You sure he's not bad news?" Alfie questioned.

"He's a kid, Alf." Sophie rolled her eyes.

"Your aunt must be happy, yeah love?" Alfie had listened to Sophie worry about Polly every day for the past few days, he knew the reunion between her aunt and her cousin must've made Sophie happy.

"Well she doesn't know he's here yet. Polly-" Sophie quickly cut herself off. The last thing she needed to do was accidentally let slip to Michael where his mother had been last night. "She uh… went home with Ada last night so I walked back to the house alone and found him waiting on the doorstep."

"You walked back alone? Soph, love of my life, why the fuck were you walking home alone? Your brothers are fucking dumber than I thought yeah-"

"Alfie it's fine, It's a five minute walk and I've got a gun. Made it home safe didn't I?" She cut him off, appreciating his protectiveness but it was ultimately overzealous.

Alfie began to speak again, but Sophie had zoned out after noticing a shadow walk past the window. Polly must've finally made her way home.

"Soph?" Alfie called out, noticing her silence.

"Alfie, I'm gonna have to give you a call back something's just come up - I'll call you back in a bit okay? I love you, bye!" Sophie rushed out and hastily put the phone down before dashing towards the front door. Whipping it open, darting outside and slamming it shut behind her, she was met with a startled Polly. Her curly hair was unruly and needing a brushing, black kohl liner smudged around her eyes where she'd slept in her makeup.

"Christ sake, Pol. Of all the days." Soph grumbled, licking her thumb and trying her best to tidy up the makeup around her eyes.

"What are you doing, Soph?" Polly asked irritatedly, trying to step out of the young girls grasp. Sophie tried to smooth down her aunt's hair, anything to make her look a little more presentable. "Sophie! Fucking stop it will you, what's going on?" Polly swatted at her niece's hands.

"Michael's here, Pol." Sophie beamed as she grabbed Polly's face in both hands. "He came last night, he was sat out on the doorstep waiting when I got home."

Polly was stunned into silence. Her grey doe eyes glanced back and forth from Sophie to the front door behind her. Sophie's smile grew as she watched Polly's lips part, the edges turning up slightly in an unsure smile. She struggled to form any words, her mind swimming with nerves.

"Come on, Pol. He's just as anxious as you are." Sophie said softly, dropping her hands to take hold of Pollys and tug her gently behind her into the house. They entered the main room and Michael quickly stood from his seat, the chair scraping noisily against the floorboards. Sophie pulled Polly to her side, watching as she drank in the sight of her grown up child. The two stared at each other, completely silent and unsure. They both seemed to be waiting for the other to speak first.

"Pol, this is Michael. Michael, this is the Elizabeth Grey you were looking for, your mother." Sophie spoke delicately, not wanting to impose too much on their moment.

Polly's shy smile deepened as it finally began to sink in that Michael had come back to her. Her hands began to tremble,and her lower lip wobbled with emotion.

"I-I'll make tea." Polly finally got out, before busying herself and rushing over to the stove. Michael watched her curiously, equally as shaky as his mother.

"I'll leave you two to it…have some time to get better acquainted." Sophie said awkwardly. She shifted on her feet before turning and exiting the room. She pulled her coat off the hook by the door, before shrugging it on. "Going to London for a couple days, Pol." She called out before opening the front door and taking a long step onto the dirty pavement.

It wasn't too cold outside, warm enough that Sophie would probably be fine without her coat despite her family's predicted protests that she would catch a cold. Smiling up at the bright sky, she sauntered towards the train station.

—-

"To what do I owe this pleasure, eh love?" Alfie exclaimed, his arms spread wide as he saw her enter his office. His linen shirt was creased from where he'd pulled at it throughout the day in irritation and it was barely tucked into his soft grey slacks. He'd abandoned his apron hours earlier, its ties had been digging into his back as he sat reviewing inventory forms that apparently Ollie was incapable of getting right.

Sophie grinned up at him before sprinting at him full force, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck. He reacted quickly, embracing her tightly and holding her to his chest as her feet hung daintily in the air.

"Fucking hell, you're gonna break my back, darling. I'm an old man, remember?" Alfie teased, putting her gently back down.

"Wouldn't want to do that now would I? Might put a damper on the next couple days." Said Sophie. Alfie's eyes widened questioningly at the small girl.

"Couple of days?" Alfie grinned, rubbing his hands up and down her back. Still in his loose hold, Sophie laid her head on his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut as she inhaled his manly scent. Rum and smoke laced his clothes and seeped into his skin, remaining there even after he'd undressed.

"Thought I'd give Polly and Michael some space, let them get to know each other again. If you'll have me for a few days, that is?" Sophie asked, peering up at Alfie.

"Well I suppose I can make some room for little ol' you." He pretended to consider her proposal, before gently placing a kiss on top of her head.

Sophie narrowed her eyes at his teasing. She pouted playfully at him but the pout quickly disappeared when he placed his lips on hers, kissing her softly. His lips were soft, with wisps of his long moustache and beard tickling her face. Sophie's body flooded with a warm tingly feeling, making her almost light headed. Breaking apart, Alfie moved one hand to caress her face. His rough calloused hands felt far too dirty and bloody to be allowed to touch her soft perfect skin. Her bright blue eyes with thick dark lashes gazing up at him were like something from a painting, the azure hues blending with the icy paint in her irises. Sophie was too pure for him, surrounded by darkness and evil she shone through and saw the shining light in him too. She was his beacon of light, summoning him home.

"C'mon, let's go home." He whispered to her, eyes transfixed on her beautiful features. Her thick brows pulled together in confusion.

"Don't you have to work?" She said.

"Well perks of being the fucking boss isn't it? Can take off when I want and its time Ollie learnt a bit of fucking responsibility, aye?" Alfie cracked a laugh, reluctantly stepping away from her and reaching for his coat and hat.

"If you hate him so bloody much then why did you hire him." Sophie giggled, she couldn't recall one nice thing she'd ever heard Alfie say about the young man.

"Had Raisa on my case didn't I? He's not all bad - can be good company from time to time." He conceded. Pointing at her cheekily, he said "Don't tell them I said that."

"I haven't seen Raisa in so long…" Sophie began to think out loud, missing the presence of the comforting older woman. The thought suddenly dawned on her, did Raisa know about what had happened to her? Ollie had seen her that night, in fact Alfie had told her he was the one to deal with the bodies. If Alfie hadn't mentioned it to her, maybe Ollie did? Sophie suddenly felt all the colour drain from her face in fear that Raisa would see her differently or not want to be around her anymore after what she'd done. "Does she know about…?"

Alfie, who had had his back turned to her so he could pull his office door open, stalled at the mention of the attack. Sophie had finally started to bounce back to the same bubbly playful girl she'd been when Alfie had first met her, the last thing she needed now was for that progress to be reversed by talking about the event.

"Yes." Alfie spoke hesitantly, staring at the floor.

"Oh." Sophie sighed. Blinking back the pools of water beginning to build in her eyes, she scoffed bitterly. "She doesn't want to be around me anymore, does she?"

Shocked, Alfie's eyes snapped up to Sophie's teary eyes. "What?" he almost whispered, in disbelief. It was like something in his mind clicked, Sophie was struggling with the guilt of the two men's blood on her hands. "Soph, no." He spoke gently, carefully stepping close to her and wiping away her tears delicately.

"Raisa was a fucking nightmare when Ollie told her, love. Wanted to storm over to my house and make sure you were alright. Asks about you everyday she does, just wants to make sure you're okay, my darling. No one sees you any differently, Soph." Alfie comforted the petite girl. His large hands encased her face, angling it up towards his so he could look directly into her eyes. "Now I know I'm not exactly the best person to speak about this yeah, killed a lot of fucking people I have, some I'm not so proud of, alright? But you yeah, you fucking angel- my precious fucking gypsy princess- are not a killer. You did what you had to do to survive, and not one fucking person thinks any less of you for that. Those fucking sodomites deserved much worse than what you did to them yeah."

"Alfie, you don't fucking get it. Those men, they were no fucking worse than you or Arthur or John. Just men following orders, like all the men that work for you or my brothers." She seethed, her breathing heavy.

"Men in my line of work, yeah, they expect to fucking die. When you go to war you expect to fucking die, Soph - it's part of the game. They know what's coming. It doesn't change you or the kind of person you are, Soph- this is not your fucking war." Alfie exclaims, his volume increasing passionately.

Taking a deep breath, the couple's eyes were locked intensely on each other. Stormy grey clouds thundered in Alfie's eyes, clashing violently against the towering crashing icy waves in Sophie's. Their hot breaths blended together in the small space between them.

"I love you Soph, I'm fucking begging you not to let this hurt you anymore." He breathed.

Another tense moment passed between the two, Sophie processing the fierce love he was presenting her with. She couldn't take the pain and guilt she'd been feeling anymore, it weighed down her entire being anytime the attack reared its ugly head in her mind. She had had no choice, she decided. Fuck the blood and the guilt, they had surrended themselves to the consequences of their actions when they'd decided to go after her. So why should she feel bad about it? It was her or them, and this time it just happened to be them. That was the name of the game.

"Okay." She said defiantly, the ocean beginning to still and freeze over.