02: Hitagi Senjougahara - After A Bad Break Up, It's Best To Sleep With Your Ex-Boyfriend's Best Friend [II]
Dealing with a woman who had three glasses of alcohol was one thing, but he would very much prefer not to deal with a woman who had left the party without even looking at the assortment of food items available on the large buffet table. Between a drunken woman and a ravenous beast, he would pick a drunk every other day of the week. As such, when he finally caught upto her in the parking lot, where he found her smoking a cigarette, her hips casually resting on top of the hood of the car, looking like a femme fatale from a black and white film noir movie, he had something to offer her besides taking on the role of a designated driver.
"Don't shoot." Hikigaya joked. "I come bearing gifts."
Hitagi let out a thick trail of smoke and coughed a few times. It wasn't the polite sort of cough. A few people openly stared. She paid them no heed. He could tell she had picked up the habit very recently. Otherwise she wouldn't be coughing so much. If memory served, he had never seen her smoke before. What changed then? He probably knew the answer. There are some things you should never ask a woman. Wait for her to tell you. Hikigaya had patience. He could hold his silence and wait forever. Forever wasn't that long a time.
"What happened? Did Araragi-kun not pay the caterers enough money, that now he has to ask his good friend, Hikigaya-kun to take on the job of a waiter as well?" At this point, Hitagi gave him a slow once over, taking in the full spectrum of his sleek ensemble. The man wore a tuxedo with peak lapels, a Marcella shirt with double cuffs, and a tonal black based silk tie. He was easily among one of the best dressed men in the entire party. But he didn't need to know that. At least not now. The night was still young. And the wound was still fresh. "I know the waiters in there were dressed in tuxedos, but this is ridiculous. The waiters were wearing bowties. You, Hikigaya-kun, have a tie around your neck. And if you think, I am looking for some fake sympathy, I will strangle you with that same tie you have on and then cannibalize your fresh corpse."
"I would advise against it." Hikigaya duly informed her. "Women call me an acquired taste. Men say I am a piece of shit. So either, you will suffer from a mild indigestion, or you will die of food poisoning. Now while we are on the topic of food, might I suggest an alternative?"
It should be pointed out that Hitagi had called him a waiter not because of the way he was dressed. No, it was because he had been carrying a plate full of food. Taking the opportunity, Hikigaya placed the plate on the hood of the car. "I was only able to grab the hors d'oeuvres. But I think I managed to get enough to feed a small village. Or one heartbroken woman. Now I have got crab puffs, crab rangoons, chicken fingers, chicken lollipops, buffalo wings, onion rings, and those were the only things I recognized and found remotely appetizing. Bon appétit!"
Hitagi willed herself not to openly stare at the assortment of various delicious looking food items kept within her reach. The cigarette kept between her lips dangled, stopping her from licking her lips subconsciously. But it did not prevent saliva from accumulating in her mouth at the sight of all this food. Only through sheer will and stubbornness did she persevere from stooping so low as to feast on her ex-boyfriend's engagement party.
She flicked a bit of ash from the end of the burning cigarette and spoke in a somber tone. "I read somewhere that models smoke cigarettes to stop themselves from getting hungry. They do it to maintain their figure and stay in shape. Well, I have started smoking since today and let me tell you, those models don't know what they are talking about. I am so hungry, I can eat a horse."
A solitary tear trickled down her cheek and she wiped it away with complete and utter distaste. "After Araragi-kun left me, no calls, no texts, no goodbyes, no nothing. Just dropped out from my orbit, I found myself in a dark place. I thought about killing myself, but what good will that do? Even if Araragi-kun came to my funeral, it's not like I can make a deal with the devil and come back to life, just so I can wring his neck and ask why did he leave me after all this time? What was the final straw that broke the camel's back? I know I am a bitch. I know I am not perfect. But I am trying. I really am! I am keeping up with my doctor's appointment. I am on medication. I am visiting a therapist. For god's sake, I am doing yoga!"
She was breaking. No, she was broken. But enough was enough. Unable to deal with all the crap life kept throwing at her, Hitagi decided to practice some level of control and take her life back. She grabbed the cigarette tucked safely between her lips, crunched it up and flung it back into the world with all her might. Screw you world. And fuck the environment.
Feeling a smidge better, she picked up a chicken lollipop from the plate and started devouring it. Hikigaya tested the waters, trying to figure out where he stood with her, whether she would lash out if he picked something off from the plate and when she didn't swat his hand away as he grabbed a crab puff from the plate, he knew for the time being he was in her good books. But he was a man, a real man and like all hot blooded males, he didn't know when to quit and as such, before long, he crossed the proverbial line in the sand.
"If you don't drop that chicken," Hitagi spoke in a conversational tone, but only an idiot would miss the clear threat permeating her voice. She didn't stop chewing and spoke with her mouth full. The sound of flesh being ripped from bone added a touch of spice, fear and anxiety and for a second, he almost forgot that she was going to town on a buffalo wing herself. "I will be having Hikigaya-kun lollipops for breakfast."
Hikigaya looked her dead in the eye and bit into the buffalo wing. "I will take my chances, Senjougahara." He spoke between bites. "I know you are hungry, but you can't deny a man his chicken. It's against the very laws of nature."
Hitagi munched on a crab puff and wondered whether she should ask him a simple question. In the end she did, because she didn't really care what his response would be. Was she an open book? Would she have an open casket? What came first – the chicken or the egg? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. "How did you know I was hungry?"
Hikigaya shrugged his shoulders, finished his buffalo wing, and decided not to have his head caved in by a tire iron, but because he was still hungry, he took his chances and picked up a couple of onion rings. And then he realized he had forgotten to bring dips. Oh well, life was full of disappointments. "Back at the party, I heard your stomach growl."
For the entire duration of their conversation she had been able to meet his eyes, daring him to look away, but when he divulged this small embarrassing little detail, she stopped chewing on the chicken finger and looked away.
Now, he had gotten a good look at her outfit back at the party where the lights were bright, but he couldn't quite explain it, she looked even better under the golden glow of a solitary street lamp. The lycra one shoulder mini dress put her killer legs on full display. Lace ran up the slit of her thighs in floral patterns. One arm had sleeves stopping just a bit over the crook of her elbow, giving way to the same sinful lace patterns which crawled up all the way to her wrist. Meanwhile, the other arm was left completely sleeveless and exposed, except for the gold-toned, white linked bracelet on her wrist.
But she wouldn't be Hitagi Senjougahara if she didn't wear stockings. Although, he had only seen her wear black ones during their numerous past encounters. However that wasn't the case tonight. If he had to guess, she had went out of her way and bought a pair of red ones to match the rest of her bold ensemble. They were red, sheer and had lace on top.
"I haven't had anything to eat since morning." The woman in red confessed.
And like he had promised, he showed her no fake sympathy. "Trying to starve yourself to death, Senjougahara?"
Hitagi scoffed. "Hardly. Like I have said before, I am not looking to kill myself."
She picked up a crab rangoon and without looking at Hikigaya-kun, bit into it. The deep fried dumpling, stuffed with a combination of cream cheese, lightly flaked crab meat, scallions and garlic tasted heavenly. But then again, she had heard somewhere that hunger was the best spice in the world. If she wasn't starving right now, she would have picked the crab rangoon they served at her favourite Thai restaurant, over what they were serving at her ex-boyfriend's engagement party. But perhaps, she was letting her bitterness and resentment cloud her judgment a little bit. How dare they serve such tasty food at her ex-boyfriend's engagement party.
And just like that she was back. "And even if I did - starving to death? Really? Like that will ever work. I live in Tokyo. I have access to a number of food delivery apps on my phone. And I am not above ordering food from Uber Eats. No, this was something else."
She finished the crab rangoon and picked up a buffalo wing. Hikigaya was munching on chicken finger. The man really loved his chicken, Hitagi observed quietly.
In her mind, she waged a battle, trying to figure out whether she should open up, let him in, make herself vulnerable, risk looking weak and ask for help to clear out the skeletons in her closet. In the end, it was a battle she was destined to lose and what pushed the odds in his favour was that Hikigaya-kun let her have the last chicken lollipop. A man who willingly parted with his beloved chicken was a kind man. And in her book, a kindhearted man was a real man.
By now Hikigaya-kun had earned her trust and he deserved to hear the truth.
"After Araragi-kun left me and when I realized, this time he wouldn't be coming back, I just came apart at the seams. I gave up. On life. On everything. Nothing mattered to me anymore. I just stopped caring."
A tear trickled down her cheek and this time she didn't bother to wipe it away. She sniffed and continued. "I missed my doctor's appointment, I stopped taking my pills, I didn't go see my therapist and who the hell cares about yoga anyway? Health and hygiene, it was all a waste of time. Everything! Everything I cared about. My life, my relationships, everything. And before I knew it, I just stopped taking care of myself. I covered all the mirrors in my house and stopped looking at my reflection. Because I was ugly. I was unloved. I was incapable of love."
She let out a bitter chuckle and shook with barely restrained emotions. "You thought I was starving myself? You got it all wrong. It was the other way around. I was gorging myself on food. Before I knew it, takeout menus and food delivery apps started to rule my world. It's funny. Men try to drink their sorrows away. Women seek comfort in bars of chocolate and tubs of ice-cream. But I decided to have the best of both worlds and eat my weight in, well, everything."
She let out a world weary sigh and nibbled on the last crab puff. "As you would expect, I gained a few pounds."
"No!"
In response, Hitagi narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "If that was your sorry attempt to sound shocked at my miserable plight, you did a poor job, Hikigaya-kun. In the future, I would advise you to put some real emotion behind your words. I have seen animatronics in theme parks with more feelings than you."
The corner of his lips turned upwards in the facsimile of a smile. But he didn't feel the need to apologize. "How much do you weigh now?"
"Excuse me?"
Shit. That was just asking for trouble. You never ask a woman how much she weighs. He watched as the last onion ring crumbled and was reduced to tiny little crumbs in the palm of her hand. If he didn't tread carefully, that's what's gonna happen to his balls. And if she was in a really bad mood, she was gonna cook his balls the same way they prepared takoyaki octopus balls and have them for breakfast.
"I mean, you said, you didn't care anymore." He gesticulated wildly, hoping to get the point across, making sure she understood what he was trying to say. He didn't want to come off sounding like cold hearted bastard. But it was better than being a prick and an asshole. "You gave up. Nothing matters. And like you said, you covered all the mirrors. So, I just want to know. What's a few extra pounds to a girl who has lost everything?"
Hitagi looked at her open palm. It was greasy and covered in crumbs. For a second, she thought about taking out a napkin from her shoulder bag and wiping her hand clean of all the mess she had just made. But she didn't do that quite yet. Instead she picked up the larger pieces of the now broken up onion ring, the ones which were still salvageable, and put them inside her mouth. They still tasted good.
"Because I hadn't lost everything, Hikigaya-kun." Hitagi corrected his false assumption. "Araragi-kun was alive and well. In fact, it was one of your exes who informed me about the news of the unplanned pregnancy and tonight's engagement party. I knew I had to be there. We had been together for so long. He was my first love, my first kiss, my first everything. And the way he ended things, no, it didn't sit well with me. This isn't the first time he fooled around behind my back. But he always came back to me the next morning. I knew what he did to me was wrong, but I had made my peace with it. He loved those floozies for one night; he said he would love me for eternity. So why did he break his word? I just had to know."
Hikigaya offered her a napkin and she wiped away the rest of the crumbs from her palm. They were worthless and made her feel dirty. It was best to wipe the slate clean, remove all the excess oil and grease and not make her hand look dirty again.
"After that, I just had to figure out what to wear." Most of the food was gone from the plate. It was nearly empty. Except for one last piece of delicious looking chicken. Once again, Hikigaya showed his kindness and let her have the last morsel of food.
"For what I had in mind, I knew a little black dress won't cut it. So I picked red. It was perfect. The colour of passion, the colour of romance." And with each new word she added, her voice grew huskier. "Confidence." She leaned forward. "Assertiveness." Closer. "Rebellion." Lower. "Danger."
Hikigaya didn't put much faith in his hands at the moment. And he trusted the woman in front of him even less. From the looks of it, Hitagi couldn't make up her mind on what to do next. She was caught between two worlds. On one hand she wanted to try and kiss him, to see what it felt like to kiss another man, and perhaps close the chapter on her dysfunctional relationship with Araragi-kun forever. And maybe, just maybe, give herself a fresh start with Hikigaya-kun.
Then again, maybe she was just a bit drunk and more than a little horny and trying to get back at her ex-boyfriend by sucking his best friend's cock in a parking lot next to where he was hosting the engagement party, raising a toast to new beginnings with the mother of his unborn child, an eighteen year old, stupid little girl who probably didn't know a thing about how to practice safe-sex.
Thankfully, Hikigaya could always count on his mouth to make a simple observation and state the obvious. From experience, women didn't like it when you stated the obvious. And it was a clear example of self sabotage at its finest. This was also his only way of letting her know that what she was about to do was a mistake and she might come to regret it later.
"Then there's the red dress effect." Hikigaya added quietly. Speaking from his own personal experience, nothing ruined the mood better than talking about science and spouting theories while a girl was down on her knees, unbuckling your belt and in the process of taking off your trousers. This was her last chance to back out. "Some believe women in a red dress are more sexually appealing than others."
Even at a time like this, Hitagi Senjougahara managed to stay true to herself and scoffed at what she considered was an incredibly stupid assumption based on zero amounts of credible data. "They obviously don't know what they are talking about. Men prefer attractive women and find them oozing with the most amount of sexual appeal when they are completely naked."
Hikigaya let out a low groan and braced himself against the hood of the car.
Hitagi Senjougahara wasn't finished. She had something more to say. But from the way things looked, she won't be doing much talking real soon. Her mouth will be busy, preoccupied elsewhere.
"This is a brand new dress. I had to starve myself half to death for a week and smoke two packets of cigarettes to shed the extra five kilos that I had gained, so that I could wear this dress tonight. I don't want you to ruin it."
Hitagi Senjougahara had him by the balls. Literally.
"So remember to finish in my mouth." A dirty little twinkle sparked in her eyes and he knew he was gone for the count. "Don't worry, Hikigaya-kun. I will swallow every drop." She teased, before taking him in the mouth and for the next few minutes he had to fight an uphill battle to resist the urge to grab her by the head, ram his cock deep down her throat, flip her over and take her right here in this empty parking lot.
But then he remembered why he was here in the first place – Hitagi was drunk and horny and it was his responsibility to look after her or in the very least, safely drive her home.
He was gonna do his job and be a gentleman about it. Well, maybe not quite a gentleman. After all, he was Hachiman Hikigaya. One of his friend's ex-girlfriend was giving him a blowjob in an empty parking lot, right next to where said friend was hosting an engagement party, celebrating the fact that he was about to get married to a high school girl he impregnated. Hikigaya didn't feel remotely guilty and why should he? Araragi made his choice. Hitagi made hers. In the grand scheme of things, he played a minor role which held no significance whatsoever.
He was just the designated driver.
Author's Note: As you can tell, the story is slowly starting to enter the "M"- Rated territory. But I decided not to change the rating quite yet, because this chapter didn't feature a full blown lemon yet. But don't worry, it's coming and it will be here soon before you know it.
Despite what the title might say, I don't want "Ladykiller" to be a collection of lemons, featuring Hikigaya and a whole bunch of different female characters.
That's not what I am going for with this series.
I think it would be better to describe this story as an anthology, a collection of short stories which will try to explore the complexities of love between different characters who don't fall under any distinct labels.
They are not good. They are not bad. There is no right. There is no wrong. They just exist. And I just want to write about them and share those fleeting moments of passion, where the illusion of love still exists in the mind of the characters.
…But yeah, let's not sugar coat things too much – there will be lemons in the future.
Now please leave a review, follow and fave, let me know you are enjoying the story and want more and I will be back with the next chapter soon.
Later 'gators.
Note:
The crab puffs and crab rangoons are references to "Hitagi Crab".
The 5 kilos Hitagi gained is a reference to Hitagi's weight in "Hitagi Crab".
In fact, the whole gaining weight thing is a reference itself. In the anime, she lost weight because of an oddity, but in this story she gained weight, because of her break up with Araragi-kun.
I hope you got all the references while you were reading the chapter.
