The One who got Away

After everything he had endured in his life, it was impossible for Barry Allen to not wonder about what could have been, to not indulge in a daydream where his parents were there to see him grow up and lived long happy lives instead of suffering horrifying untimely deaths at the hands of psychopathic time travelling murderers. He had lost a lot and while he allowed himself a stray thought or two about 'what ifs', he made it a rule to not dwell over them for he knew that if he started, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. It was like opening a dam of misery and resentment that would swallow him whole if he did not actively stop thinking about it.

Life was unfair. He knew that, however there was nothing he could do about it, not without altering reality as he knew it. His parents' deaths were fixed points in time, something so integral to the framework of the universe that stopping their deaths would shift the timeline, maybe fracture it. He had done it once, but in doing so, made a worse timeline and even after putting things back to what they were, some changes persisted.

He hated the man responsible for it all… Eobard Thawne, his mother's murderer. A man responsible for so many deaths and yet he himself lived on. A paradox that lived on and always returned to torture him in new and unsuspecting ways.

His latest attempt was manipulating his own daughter against him. He had been pushed to the limits, learning Nora's deception and her collaboration with Thawne, forcing him to send her back to the future, an act that was now straining his marriage.

"And she explained why!" Iris had cried to him in frustration.

"That she was working with Thawne!" He had yelled.

At that, she had just looked away.

"That doesn't bother you?" He had asked in disbelief, his voice barely a whisper.

"No, it doesn't." She answered, her voice firm and unwavering, looking at him in the eyes.

"Maybe if he killed your mother in front of you, you would feel differently…" He had replied slowly, his eyes hurting.

"Maybe you feeling differently, Barry was why we should have made this decision together!" She whiplashed at him in anger. "She just wanted to meet you Barry… the father that she never knew and there was one person who could teach her how to do that. Is it really so hard to understand why she would go to him!"

"It doesn't matter if I understand it." He had looked her in the eye.

"Thawne is manipulating her!" He had stressed.

"He is on the death row, Barry. How is he manipulating her?" She had enunciated, as if she was explaining it to a little child. Had she forgotten there were no limits to Thawne's plans? That monster survived getting erased from the timeline… Eddie died but his sacrifice had been in vain. The Legends stopped him and the Black Wraith consumed him, only for him to come back again leading the forces of Earth X against them. There was no stopping him. Being on the death row did not make him any less dangerous or less conniving!

Barry looked down, unable to meet her eyes, not believing the words coming out of her mouth, realizing the reasons for her actions.

"If this were anybody else, you would back me, but because it's Nora… because it is our daughter, the person who finally stopped hating you, you refuse to see how dangerous this is." He had said, hurt yet holding back his anger to the best of his ability.

"You talk about making decisions based on emotion. Look in the mirror." He scoffed, finally calling her out on the many hypocrisies he had endured, because his actions no matter the fact that he often had no other option, had hurt her too, but in the end, he was the one who was struck by lightning, who had his past, present, and future tainted by a power he never wanted. Thawne killed his mother and Zoom killed his father, because he was the Flash and now, Thawne was using his own daughter to get at him.

Iris… the woman who lost her fiancé in vain because of Thawne was refusing to understand him. She had looked at him in disappointment, before turning around and leaving him alone in the corridor.

Iris was refusing to understand him. Calling him emotional time and again.

If he was emotional, he would have stayed in Flashpoint and not tried to put the timeline back together.

If he was selfish, he would have not submitted to the Speedforce and tried to find a way to stop it from engulfing Central City, even though he knew that his team had eventually succeeded in coming up with an alternative, it would have claimed several innocent lives.

He had always been the bigger man.

He had been selfless time and again, sacrificed his happiness for the sake of others and doing the right thing.

He could never hate Iris just like he could never hate Nora, even after what she had done.

However, the fact that Nora continued to work with Thawne even after knowing what he had done and Iris being able to look past that knowing how much he had suffered because of Thawne filled him with a strange sense of disillusionment. He was disappointed in them. Did he mean so little to them? His pain, his losses… How could Iris be so unaffected?

His partner was supposed to stand by him, instead of belittling him.

He knew she loved him but he was starting to doubt if it was enough.

Iris had put herself in danger to bring him back to his senses after his return from the Speedforce prison but she had also accepted his departure the quickest. If it were not for the Thinker giving Team Flash an ultimatum to bring him back, he doubted Iris would have come to terms with even considering the possibility he could return.

Back during his first year as the Flash, Iris had chosen Eddie over him and he had come to terms with it eventually but it still lingered in his mind.

The future, Earth 2… them being together seemed to be written in stone. They were supposed to be soulmates and being together was their destiny, but what if despite the universe pulling them together, they were not really meant for each other. Their decision to marry and their love for each other was largely influenced by a belief that they were endgame, but what if it was mistaken.

If all the time paradoxes had taught him anything, it was not to confuse the present with what he saw in alternate timelines or parallel realities.

Maybe rushing to a marriage with Iris was a mistake.

Wait, how could he even think that… He had loved her since before he knew what love was and they had a daughter together in the future!

Why was he letting anger cloud his mind?

He loved her more than anything in the world. She was his lightning rod.

Yet, a strange thought lingered in the back of his mind.

Iris looked the other way with Thawne, which implied how much she cared for his thoughts or the trauma of his past. She wanted a perfect untarnished future, not caring that Nora had violated his trust.

On the other hand, he remembered Patty shooting Harry because she thought it was the man who had murdered his mother. That had been a miscommunication but knowing that had comforted him with how much she had cared about him.

He broke things off with her because he was plagued by nightmares of Zoom killing her and because he got advice from Wells to keep his loved ones away from the fight, but that had been for naught.

Despite the brief time of their relationship, she had healed him and made him more confident in himself. She had been able to understand him because in a way, she was a kindred spirit, having lost a parent unfairly and unjustly.

Maybe letting her go was the wrong choice.

She had figured out his identity and was ready to put her dream career on hold to support him and be with him, but he had messed it all up, in a misguided attempt to protect her. What had he been thinking back then?

Wait, what the heck was he thinking right now?

He was married, with a daughter… sort of.

This was irrational.

He should not be second guessing his entire relationship because of a single argument.

What done was done.

He loved Iris, he did and he knew, he would get past this.

Barry sighed, looking up, not able to silence a small part of him that said that Patty would have supported him if she had been here instead. That he had messed up by prematurely giving up on their relationship… That she was the one who got away.


I was not a strong supporter of shipping Barry and Patty together till very recently and as much as I love Iris and Candice Patton nailed it with her portrayal, the writing failed her many times. She had her golden moments but the resentment of the fandom towards her is sort of understandable too.

Patty was like the Felicity of the Flash, instant chemistry but unlike her, she never got a chance to see her story through. Kimd of funny because Felicity sort of outstayed her welcome and Laurel should have got a proper chance, but let's not get into that.

Hope you guys like this and please review.