It's the following Monday, classes have just gotten out, and Severus will be back any moment.

Harry is sitting on the couch. He's wearing his jeans, a grey cable knit jumper, his trainers, and a light jacket since he has no idea what the weather is like outside-and that's where he's going. Outside.

Severus offered it yesterday evening, that maybe they could just go walk around the grounds. Harry wouldn't have to see anybody, and there's nowhere safer than Hogwarts.

He was very hesitant at first, straight up refused yesterday, but he thought about it all day today. He needs to leave the apartment, or else he's worried he'll be too comfortable staying there forever.

Severus is surprised when he arrives back to see Harry dressed up to go out, but it's a good kind of surprise, that draws a smile to Severus' lips.

They eat dinner first, Severus doesn't want them to leave too early because students might still be around the lake. Harry is jittery, his hands tremor a little bit. He wonders if his body will ever stop shaking and if he'll ever have complete control over his body again.

His arm has healed well. He doesn't wear the bandage anymore, but he likes to wear long sleeves, the bruise has lightened but is scary to look at, and the scratches are still scabbed.

He can't wait for the day that all the physical reminders have melted away, and then I'll just have to deal with the nightmares.

"Harry, if at any point you want to come back, it's fine." Severus makes sure that Harry is clear.

They're standing in front of the door now, Harry is fretting with the hem of his sweater as he nods.

"I mean it. Even if I just open the door, I can close it immediately."

Sensing Severus' unease, Harry looks up at him, making eye contact. He rests a soft hand on Severus' shoulder. These casual touches work wonders to quell Severus' anxiety, Harry's learned. "I know Sev, thank you."

Severus nods and then turns to pull the door open. He's in his teaching robes almost always now, which Harry detests, but there's not much he can do about it. Severus, your robes don't make your ass look very good. On second thought, it's probably good Severus' students don't see him dressed down. I'm glad I didn't.

The door is opened. Harry stares out into an unfamiliar portion of the castle. It's dark grey stone, a few sconces providing light. To his immediate left is a flight of stairs, and to his right is a long corridor.

Most amazingly, to Harry, is that Draco is not standing on the other side, waiting.

He steps one toe out first, almost as if he's checking the temperature of water. Then he feels silly and steps fully out into the hallway. The world doesn't end. That's a great first step.

An enormous weight lifts off Harry's shoulders. He's so glad to feel normal, not broken for just a moment, standing in the hallway.

The door shuts behind them, it doesn't shut very loudly, but to Harry it echoes and bounces off the walls, separating them entirely from the warm atmosphere of Severus' quarters.

"The password is Galanthus nivalis."

"Snowdrop flower?" Harry questions, recognizing the ingredient from the making of an Exstimulo potion. He hasn't brewed one yet, but it's on the short list of ones Severus had told him to try.

The look Severus gives Harry is singular, intrigue mixed with some other emotion that Harry doesn't really understand. It must be a good one, though, because Severus looks pleased with Harry. "Yes, I change the password every few weeks."

They both pause, standing still for a few minutes before Harry realizes that Severus is waiting for him to lead the way, making sure that Harry is still okay with this.

Harry heads up the stairs, and within a few turns, he is somewhere familiar, near the potions classroom in the dungeons.

They're almost outside, just past the atrium, when Harry hears a chorus of voices, a group of students rushing back to the dorms. From the sound of their voices, they're about to round the corner and pass by Harry and Severus.

Harry brings a hand up to clutch at Severus' arm. He doesn't want people to know that he's in the castle, what if they tell others? What if Draco finds me?

Severus put a reassuring hand on Harry's waist, only briefly, before straightening out for the students to walk by, Harry drops his hand.

It's two girls and three boys, all Hufflepuff, young, 2nd or 3rd years. They gape at Harry Potter when they see him with their potions professor, and look as though they're going to stop and say something.

Harry can't see the look that Severus flashes at the students, but whatever it is, it makes them all immediately look away and scurry down the hall. It's just an hour till curfew, after all.

Students out of sight, Harry brings his hand back up to hold Severus' upper arm loosely. Severus' presence is reassuring.

It's dim outside, but not totally dark. Harry finds that he isn't afraid. The setting is so familiar, and comfortable, that he's at ease. There have been no great changes around Hogwarts since he left, and even if those days were all good, they were markedly better than his post and pre-Hogwarts days.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Severus asks once the lake is in sight.

"Surprisingly? Yeah, I'm alright." He answers, honestly.

When they get to the edge of the lake, Harry immediately sits on the grass, enjoying the feel of it under his fingers. The moon has come a quarter of the way up the sky now, just a thin crescent, but very bright, and luminescent. The reflection of the moon in the lake provides a small amount of light, enough that he can see Severus' face when the man sits next to him.

Harry pulls his knees up and wraps his arms around himself. He sits comfortably, loosely. Severus sits with his legs stretched out in front of him, leaning back on the palms of his hands.

"So, come here often?" Harry asks after a few moments of peaceful, stress-free silence.

"Mm," is all Severus responds with at first, Harry shoots to look at him and he's opening his eyes. Harry isn't sure if he was actually asleep of just zoned out. "No, actually. I forage sometimes, around the forest, but I never come here."

"Ron and I used to come here all the time to throw rocks. Sometimes we'd try to skip them, but usually, we'd just throw them as far as we could." Harry explains, staring wistfully out at the lake, treasuring memories of his friend.

"I'm not going to bother asking how that could possibly be a stimulating pass time." Severus jokes and Harry smiles.

Harry stands then, a rock he found on the ground clutched in his hands. He holds it for a moment, then takes a step back, rocking forward once again and throwing the rock as hard as he can overhand. There's an impressive amount of silence before the inevitable splash. They can't see how far it went in the low light though.

"It's very cathartic." He goes back to sitting next to Severus. This time he crisscrosses his legs and leans back on his hands like Severus. "This is really nice."

"I thought getting outside would be good for you."

"No, not that. I mean, it's good, yeah, but being with you." Harry clarifies, looking toward Severus' profile, the man still looking out at the lake. Harry blushes at his word choice and looks away, not wanting to meet Severus' eye. "I just mean you're really cool and all." Cool is absolutely not the correct word to describe Harry's feelings, but he doesn't want to scare Severus away by using anything more intimate. Not sexually intimate, necessarily, but emotionally.

Severus does a great job taking care of him, but Harry can't not notice that Severus doesn't have a lot of close, personal relationships. He doesn't think that this is easy on Severus, so Harry doesn't want to put more emotional pressure on him.

Honestly, though, Harry has never felt closer to anyone before.

"I know I'm not the most, pleasant, person, but I'm glad you turned to me." Severus keeps his gaze averted, still staring at the still water.

"You're very pleasant," Harry protests, immediately mad at his tongue. I've got to stop speaking faster than I think, I sound like an idiot. "You seem, um, like lighter, since I last knew you. More relaxed."

"I am. Most of my life has been one nightmare after another, some of my own creation, but it's good to feel free." Severus looks then, at Harry, and they lock eyes. One side of Harry's face is shimmery and illuminated by the moon, and the other side is cast in shadow.

Harry stares at Severus, mapping his facial features. Harry likes his eyes, hooded, with slight crowfeet that make him look like he smiles more than he does. "I'd like to feel like that."

"You will."

Severus' eyes flash lower on Harry's face. Harry doesn't know what Severus is looking at and looks down, trying to find what caught Severus', not realizing it's his own lips. When Hary looks back up, Severus is looking away again.

A couple more minutes pass, and Harry sits up, resting his elbows on his knees and slouching. This way he's less tempted to try and steal glances at Severus' face, no longer level with it.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything. What is it?" Severus' response is immediate, a bit breathy almost.

"It's why I don't use magic."

Severus can just see the back of Harry's head and the very right side of his face now, but he still cocks his head in interest. There are a lot of things Severus wants to know about Harry, but he's kind of glad the man is starting with this, Severus feels intense trepidation about learning more about Harry and Draco's relationship.

"I wanted to be an Auror after the war. Or, I guess I thought that's what I was supposed to do." He shrugs his shoulders, slumping a little deeper into his slouch.

"Supposed to do?" Severus clarifies.

Harry turns his whole body, just a little, toward Severus so that they can look at each other while talking. Harry avoids Severus' eyes, and Severus can barely see Harry now, with most of his back to the only light source.

"Everyone started assuming I would do that, and Ron seemed so excited, I didn't even think about it, just went along with what he was doing. I'd just begun my training when I started seeing Draco," Harry stops speaking, surprised that he added that line without thinking. It's the first time he's said Draco's name out loud in over a week. "Um," he pauses, trying to refocus himself on the story. "Anyway, Ron and I sailed through training, maybe a little too fast. We were already going out in the field after about four months. At first, it was alright, low-level stuff like robberies or people causing magical chaos in muggle areas. It was fun, sometimes, even."

Harry pauses. He's never told this story to anyone in its entirety. Draco had gotten only the cliff notes, the incident.

"Were you working with Ron?" Severus asks. Harry thinks that the question is mainly for his benefit, trying to get him to focus again from where he momentarily zoned out.

"No, not my partner, but we still saw each other a lot. My partner was Jasper Ashwood, about forty years older than me." Harry takes a deep breath after saying Jasper's name, then continues, "I didn't get along with him very well, so he was probably the worst part of the job. He was really arrogant and thought that I was just coasting off my supposed fame. So I was usually on edge while out with him, irritable. The last job we ever went on was with four wizards in South London who stole a magical artifact from Diagon Alley. It wasn't anything exceptionally powerful, but it was old so it was worth a lot of money, and they seriously injured the shop owner when they took it. Jasper and I were just supposed to apprehend them, apparate them back to custody."

Harry looks back over his shoulder as if someone is behind them, before turning back to Severus. "It ended up being the culmination of a really bad day. The Prophet harassed me outside Grimmauld Place, Jasper said something, I was just irritated. I was off my game and I didn't notice an unforgivable being sent at Jasper. He, uh, died."

He pauses for so long that Severus thinks the story he over, he speaks up, says "Harry, that's not your fault."

"I guess, but after that, I just, exploded or something, I don't know how to explain it. I was so mad my magic got away from me and I," Harry swallows, "I killed all four of them, in an instant. The other three had been standing down, ready to surrender after Jasper died. I was inconsolable after that, couldn't even go in to face my boss. They were saying that they might have to press charges, the press would hear about it, and I would possibly even serve a sentence. Aurors don't really kill, you know. Maybe that one, the one who killed Jasper, would have been overlookable, but all four of them? Especially since I lost control like that? It was really bad."

"And?" Severus prompts, shocked that he's never heard this story before, not even a rumor.

"Draco got rid of all of it. I don't know how, but he got everyone to back off, had it settled out of court, and kept it out of the papers. The only restriction was that my magic had to be monitored. I could still use it, but all my spells would be watched, and there are locks on it. I can't apparate, obviously can't cast anything illegal, there are a lot of rules, actually, lots of specific spells I can't even remember anymore. I told Draco I wasn't going to use any magic for a couple of weeks, just to get some control. He was supportive at first and told me he'd be there for me if I wanted to use it again. But he kept encouraging me not to, until eventually, he made me too scared to use it. Every time I mentioned my magic he'd bring it up, how I killed those guys. He would never let me forget. Even when I wasn't even talking about my magic, he would find a way to slip it into conversations, remind me how much I owed him and how fucked up I am for doing that." By the time Harry finishes he's staring directly at the ground, ripping grass out of the ground with deadly clenched fists. He didn't mean to share that much about his relationship, but saying it, out loud, made it all suddenly make sense.

"Harry," Severus gets his attention.

Slowly, Harry looks up at him. Harry's lashlines are watery and he blinks a few tears out of his eyes, rubbing at them harshly with his shirt.

Severus' arm moves to Harry's shoulder, steadying him. Harry leans into the touch, is transfixed for a moment, just looking into Severus' eye. Harry grabs Severus' hand off his shoulder and holds it in one of his.

Harry moves, scooting his whole body to be flush with Severus'. He keeps hold of Severus' hand and puts it around his shoulder. He brings his knees up to his chest and sits against Severus' side, tucked under his arm.

If Severus didn't know what to say before, he's even more lost for words at the physical display. He wants to pull Harry closer to him, kiss the top of his head and take all the pain away, but the truth of Draco's manipulation stops him. Harry is vulnerable right now, and Severus is the only one around. He doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Harry by pushing romantic intentions into it. Instead, he just holds his arm around Harry's frame securely.

"It's incredible, everything you've been through."

"Yeah, I'm a bit of a tragedy magnet."

"No," Severus corrects, "You're incredible. You've had all, this," Severus can't think of a better word for the incredible amount of baggage Harry has, "and you're still here. You're still you."

Harry leans his head against Severus' shoulder, resting just under his chin. Severus swallows and tries to calm his heart rate.

"Thank you," Harry whispers. "For everything. I don't know what I would have done if not for-."

Severus' hand grips Harry's shoulder tighter and he interrupts, "It doesn't matter. It's done." His voice has such a tone of finality in it that it really does make Harry stop thinking about it, instantly preventing him from spiraling.

"Yeah. It's done." He agrees, just as quietly.

They stare out at the lake for a long time. Harry dozes at some point, only waking when Severus says they need to head back soon.

Harry doesn't want to leave, but he's thrilled with the thought that he can always come back.


Harry makes a lot of strides throughout the week. He's gotten so proficient with at least the basics of potion-making that Severus is having him help all the time, even taking the lead on some more important ones that he has to brew; they've gone back to the lake one, and foraging in the Forbidden Forest twice; and thoughts about Draco have been few and far between.

The last point is for better and for worse. Harry is glad to not be so plagued by the petrifying fear that comes from thinking about Draco, but he's also been unable to think about further. Getting the divorce, handling his legal mess, and seeing anyone other than Severus. For now, he's content, but he knows that it won't always be enough. He can't hide from Draco forever, even if it does seem like Severus will be perfectly content to let him.

On Wednesday and Thursday, Harry spent most of the day in the office attached to Severus' classroom. He went in early, far before any students would be there, and didn't leave with Severus until after the last class. The halls between Severus' apartments and the classroom are fairly separated, so Harry hasn't run into students since Monday.

It's nice, to be able to hear the class going on while he brews or reads, reminding him that there are people in the world other than Draco and Severus.

It's the very end of the afternoon on Friday, two weeks since Harry left Draco. He's in Severus' office. It's surprisingly large, with dark stone walls and inlaid shelves holding all manner of potions. The brewing stand is in the center, with Severus' desk off to the side, piled high with papers that he needs to assess. It's a much messier room than Severus' other personal quarters, Harry figures it's because the man prefers to spend more time in his home, and rushes when he's in the office.

Harry's been working most of the day on a Rejuicing Potion for Professor Sprout, who needs a Rejuicing and Regerminating potion as soon as possible for a recently deceased rare plant.

Severus seems stressed with his students and other projects (and me, probably) so Harry offered to brew these for him.

The Rejuicing Potion went well, it wasn't too difficult, just labor intensive so it had taken a long time.

The Regerminating Potion is much more complicated. Severus had gone over it with him this morning, explaining the finer details and where things could go wrong.

Right as Severus' last class, 5th-year Slytherins and Gryffindors, begins, Harry gathers his ingredients to start brewing.

The difficulty in this potion comes in the timing. There are short periods of time where several things need to be done at once, one after the other, without missing a beat, followed by well-measured periods of rest. Harry makes sure that he has all the ingredients he needs for the first part before he even turns the burner on.

It goes very well, the first half, at least. Severus seems to be having a hard time getting his class to pay attention, Harry's already heard the classroom swell with chatter, before Severus snaps at them to quiet down several times.

He tries his best to tune them out, not wanting to be distracted.

For twenty minutes the potion has to simmer before he will take it off the heat and quickly add the remaining four ingredients, already prepared and portioned. So Harry relaxes with a book, slumping down in Severus' tall-backed desk chair.

There's a sudden and unexpected splattering sound that makes Harry instantly shut his book, eyes wide and staring at his potion. It's fine, though, still simmering. Another splat, definitely coming from the classroom.

The students are deadly silent now. Harry tiptoes to the door, pressing his ear against it to try and figure out what's going on. It's so quiet that Harry can hear a faint dripping sound, maybe someone knocked over a potion?

Silence is replaced by Severus' booming voice, "Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I struggle to even expect competence from my students, but at least I assumed more than a classroom full of imbeciles who think it's amusing to play with dangerous substances." No, Harry thinks, that isn't Severus' voice, that's "Professor Snape's" voice. Harry hasn't heard quite this same dry, disdainful tone from Severus since his school days.

Harry can hear the real ire in Severus' voice. Whatever happened was enough to push him over the edge.

"Nothing to say for yourselves?" Severus demands.

There are a few more beats of silence before two students start to speak at once: "Well, professor-" and "It's not my fault-" are swiftly and severely cut off by Severus.

"Actually, I don't care. Clean up this mess, and be prepared to redo your work over detention, tomorrow."

Both the students grumble in agreement and there are shuffling sounds.

"And 50 points from Slytherin," Severus adds, offhandedly, like it doesn't even matter.

Harry steps away from the door finally, looking back toward his potion. It still has five more minutes.

He was feeling fairly confident in his brewing abilities just a moment ago, but now, for some reason that Harry can't discern, he's nervous that the potion won't turn out. He hovers over the cauldron for a second, staring down into the liquid. It looks fine.

Harry grabs the small bowl he portioned seven dried Goyd Berries into and reaches his index and first finger in to recount them. The bowl shakes in his hand enough that one of the berries bounces out onto the floor.

Cursing, Harry gets down onto his knees to look for the berry. When he finally grasps it he realizes that it's his hands that are shaking; tremoring like they haven't in so long.

He puts the berry back, not wanting another mishap, steps a few paces back from the cauldron, and nervously worries at his bottom lip. Two minutes left. He goes through the rest of the instructions in his mind, making sure that he understands them all fully and that even with shaking hands he couldn't possibly mess them up. They're simple, he knows the order that everything goes in and the amount and direction to stir.

Severus comes into the office, opens the door quickly, and shuts it forcefully, class ended without Harry even noticing. Severus' eyebrows are drawn down his mouth is fixed into a frown.

"Bad class, yeah?" Harry asks, trying to muster a smile to break Severus' bad mood.

Severus sits down heavily in his chair, crossing one leg over the other and muttering a spell that undoes the buttons on his teaching robes, leaving him in his usual clothing.

Harry takes his potion off heat, trying to focus on both Severus and his work at the same time.

Severus immediately starts a rant, his voice quieter, but just as intense as before: "They are here to learn, to absorb knowledge. But it seems like most of them would rather stumble through their education like witless children, incapable of grasping even the most basic of subjects."

He's quiet for just a beat as Harry grabs his last bowl, Goyd Berries rolling around precariously. "My classroom is not a playground for the inept," Severus adds, especially biting and venomous.

Harry's hand tremors, he drops the entire bowl, shattering it and losing them all into the cracks and crannies of the room.

Severus stands instantly, and Harry pales. In three large strides, he's beside Harry, trying to find the dropped berries as well, even though they both know the potion is lost at this point.

"Damn it," Severus says, standing again. Harry rises slower than him and Severus takes a step forward. Harry steps back, trying to get out of his way, Severus doesn't spare him a glance, reaching forward to turn out the flame on the cauldron. "Fuck, I'll have to rebrew this tonight." The curse is unexpected, out of character for Severus, who returns to sitting in his chair. Severus pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration for a moment, then leans back in the seat, and says one more time: "Damn."

"I'm sorry," Harry says, rushed. He's wringing his hands in front of him, they're cold. He looks between the potion, the shattered bowl, and Severus' face a few times.

Severus isn't looking at Harry, his eyes are zoned out on his desk, he looks deep in thought, but still says, "It's fine," curtly.

Harry walks toward Severus while battling the overwhelming urge to just leave the room. Both options are calling to him almost equally.

"Really, sir," Harry says. His own voice sounds distant, slightly foreign. Harry sinks to his knees by Severus' legs, sitting back on his heels. His bones hit the stone floor heavily and he grimaces at the impact. "I'm really sorry, I'll rebrew the potion, it's my fault." Harry doesn't know why he's saying this. There's a small part of his mind, just big enough to make his cheeks tinge red, that's embarrassed by his own reaction.

I'm being stupid. Severus isn't Draco. I don't need to do this. Harry can't think of one single time that Severus has even raised his voice at Harry, or that Harry has ever felt in any way threatened, he can't, but he's reminded of his epiphany about Draco. There was a time when Harry thought Draco was all good. He doesn't want to be so naive about a person again.

Harry is tremoring a little bit but he tries very hard to hold himself still, clenching his abs almost painfully to stop it.

Severus looks completely shocked, his face immediately losing all of the biting edge it previously had. He stands, thinking to reach out and help Harry to his feet, but Harry immediately pulls away.

Harry pushes himself about a foot from Severus, on the floor, his arms going defensively around his stomach, not that it's ever done me any good, his eye is trained on Severus' shoe.

Severus sits back down but angles his chair to fully face Harry.

"Harry, you've done nothing wrong. I was being obnoxious. We can brew it again together," he says slowly, measured, the calmness of it breaks the spell on Harry. He starts to curl out of the ball he'd gotten himself into, finally sitting with his arms around his knees, avoiding eye contact with Severus.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, voice wet, but it's something entirely different he's sorry for now. "For treating you like," Harry sucks in a breath, "him."

"No, I shouldn't speak to you like that."

Finally, Harry looks at Severus and is able to take a breath, calming himself for a moment. He stands, body still shaking from how scared he'd been. He doesn't understand his own body's reaction, what was that? He doesn't understand how Severus could make him respond like Draco. Harry had been so afraid of being kicked just from the act of Severus standing up.

They maintain eye contact as Harry takes the few steps back toward Severus.

Harry reaches out, and sets a hand on Severus' shoulder, Severus covers it with his own hand, then has a lap full of Harry.

Harry sits sideways on Severus' thighs, leaning against his chest. Severus' arm comes around Harry's shoulders as Harry nestles his head under Severus' chin, making himself very compact on his lap. Severus' other arm meets his first, forming a tight, comforting circle around him.

He's still shaking, and crying lightly now, but the fear is starting to leave.

"Thank you," Harry mumbles, voice still wet and shaky.

Severus rests his chin on the top of Harry's head. "Anything, Harry. Anything for you."

That makes Harry's eyes fill with fresh tears that spill onto Severus' shirt collar and bare neck.

They sit together until Harry is done crying and is comfortable enough to finally get up.

There's a red tinge to his face when Severus tries to look at him, he looks down and away, can't believe he just made himself comfortable in Severus' lap.

Together, they rebrew the potion. Severus takes the lead because Harry still seems skittish, looking over his shoulder and imperceptibly flinching at sudden movements.

Later that night, the incident far behind them, Harry struggles to go to sleep. He tosses and turns in his own bed, replaying the earlier events. He feels cold and lonely laying in his bed, empty.

It's not too late, only about ten, so Harry peels himself out of bed and pads to Severus' room. The light is on, door ajar. Harry wonders if Severus always sleeps with the door ajar, or if it's for his benefit.

Severus is sitting up in bed, against the headboard, a book in his hands. He perks up when Harry pushes the door open.

"Is everything alright, Harry?"

Harry stands fretfully for a few moments. He wants to enter and ask to share the bed, but he feels the same embarrassment from earlier, his face reddening again. It just feels so dumb.

Without another word Severus pulls back the covers on the other side of the bed, giving Harry a silent invitation and confirmation all in one.

He doesn't say anything else, just gets into the bed and faces away from Severus, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Harry closes his eyes, screwing them shut like he does when he desperately wants to sleep and stop thinking.

He can't stop thinking, though. Draco is on his mind now, no matter how much he wants to be rid of him.

Severus is silent next to him, turning the pages of his book every once in a while. It's too quiet. Too similar to Draco.

"Hey, Sev?" Harry asks, quietly. He's not sure if Severus will even hear him for a moment.

"Yes?"

"Could you, uhm, maybe read out loud?"

"Do you want me to start at the beginning?"

"No. I just want to hear you."

The book is boring, tediously boring. Severus starts in the middle of a sentence and Harry has very little idea of what it's about. Nevertheless, Severus' cool, even voice and crisp pronunciation of impossibly complex words lull Harry into sleep so quickly he doesn't even care.