Outside, Harry takes relief in the fact that it's surprisingly busy. It must be around five, so people are heading home from work or stopping to get food. The park, from the looks of it, is absolutely full.
"It's nice out," Draco comments. It is, probably in the late fifties, and they both have coats on. "Should we go for a walk?" It's almost hard to hear Draco over the sounds of everyone walking around them. A light dusting of snow from a few days ago crunches under people's feet.
Harry looks at the coffee shop, then at Draco. This is where Severus knows I'm at...
"I just want to talk, Harry," Draco clarifies. "We'll just walk around." He holds the coffee back out to Harry and Harry slowly takes it. There are a few eyes on them that make Harry feel a bit better, and he absentmindedly pats at his wand, safely stowed in his pocket. It makes him feel a lot better, especially since Draco probably doesn't know he has it.
"Okay, yeah, just for a bit." Harry fiddles with his back pocket where the divorce papers are transfigured to be tiny.
They start walking, what feels like aimlessly. Draco stays half a step ahead of Harry and directs their turns, but Harry doesn't seem to notice. He shoves one of his hands deep into his pocket and grips the paper cup with the other.
At first, they don't really talk, just walk. Eventually, the streets start to clear out a bit and it's quieter.
"I was trying to tell someone this story the other day and I couldn't quite remember it. Why were you and Ron late to our wedding?" Draco brings up, out of nowhere. He doesn't look at Harry, drinks his coffee, and continues walking.
Harry looks at the back of Draco's head while he thinks. He's used to walking a pace or two behind Draco. "Uh, it was because Hermione was supposed to wake us up after we'd been out drinking, and she was so stressed with everything else from the wedding that she forgot to. Then Bill found us passed out on Molly's couch and got us there just in time." Harry remembers it well. It had actually been kind of a funny story, if only for the fact that Hermione was so busy that she forgot possibly the most important thing she'd agreed to do for the day.
Draco laughs, just one short chuckle. Harry glances at Draco's hand and sees that he still has his wedding ring on, the slightly larger gold band reflects a pile of snow and glints. Harry took his ring off before he left the manor. It's with his keepsakes, he hasn't gotten rid of it yet. "What did you guys even do that night? I never asked."
He shrugs. "Normal stuff. Got drunk in London. I think we did karaoke. Charlie and George were there too. Bill was with us for a bit but said he was too old for a proper night out."
"No last-minute shags before being locked in?"
Harry raises an eyebrow, which Draco can't see, still walking ahead of him. "Er, no. I never cheated on you."
Draco laughs, this one is longer and louder, drawing a bit of attention to them. "I slept with Pansy Parkinson the night before our wedding."
"What?"
It's Draco's turn to shrug, and he pauses, letting Harry catch up so they're walking shoulder to shoulder. "I figure I should be honest now. Plus, it's not like you haven't cheated on me, I mean, you are living with another man." Draco wiggles the fingers on his ring hand as if to show off that they're still together.
"Why would you tell me that?" Harry feels sick. He thinks about the times they've joked about how obsessed Pansy is with Draco. They always seemed like lighthearted jokes, funny for the fact that Pansy didn't stand a chance against Harry.
"Why not?"
"I just- why do you like hurting me? What did I do to you?"
That makes Draco pause, and then they're both standing still in the middle of the alley. There's no one around. They're at the front door of the Townhome. I wasn't even paying attention to where we were walking, Harry berates himself.
"I don't like hurting you, I've told you that." Draco counters, he looks genuinely confused, but Harry knows he's a good actor.
"Right," Harry responds, timid under Draco's direct gaze.
"Now come on, you need me to sign that papers, don't you?" Draco is reaching for the door to the house and pushing it open, letting himself inside then looking back out at Harry, standing just away from the steps.
Harry's fingers are twitching as he stares at the open door. I can not go in there. Under no circumstances can I go in. "I, uh, we can just, out here," he finally stutters out.
"Oh, come on, I know you have your wand on you, and even without it my magic could never compare to even your accidental magic." Draco rolls his eyes like Harry's being dramatic.
Maybe I am being dramatic.
"I don't know Dray... I just feel," he feels scared, but he doesn't want to say it out loud, not to Draco.
"Harry, I," Draco suddenly looks very embarrassed, his cheeks tinged slightly red. "I want to apologize, but I want to do it in private. Please? You can leave whenever you need."
Harry looks up and down the street. He isn't sure what he's looking for. Maybe he's making sure someone sees him entering Draco's home, maybe he's making sure Severus isn't here to see him be so stupid.
"Yeah, alright. I have to get home soon though, it can't be too long."
Harry climbs the two steps and enters the house, Draco closes the door behind him.
"Let me get your coat," Draco offers and Harry's body robotically complies. Why am I taking my coat off? I'm not staying long, but another part of his mind is coaxing him, this is what you do when you get home, Draco takes your coat.
So Harry slips out of his overcoat and Draco takes it, hanging it on the coat rack right inside the door.
They slip naturally into the living room and Draco takes a seat on the sofa. Harry takes a seat on the opposite end, perched on the edge, ready to stand up in a moment. "Do you want anything to drink?"
Harry's mind finally draws a hard line and he shakes his head. "No."
Draco pours himself a drink, the decanter of fire whiskey has found a new home on the coffee table. Harry watches Draco warily as he takes big sips from the glass.
A few moments go by. Harry fidgets uncomfortably in his seat, drumming his fingers on his leg and shifting his position several times while Draco leans into the back of the couch and stares at the unlit fire. Finally, Harry speaks up, "What did you want to say?"
Draco looks surprised by Harry's forwardness and downs the rest of his drink. There are a few more beats of silence, then, "What can I do to convince you?"
"Convince me of what?" Harry turns to look at Draco.
"Not to leave."
Harry furrows his brows again. Wasn't he going to apologize? "Uh, nothing." He responds, bluntly.
"There has to be something. Come on Harry, you can work at Hogwarts, and come and go whenever you want. I'll never lay a finger on you again." Draco pours himself another glass while he speaks.
"You told me that every time you hit me." Harry is stunned by Draco's sudden plea. He was expecting begging and possibly tears, but not this. It feels so cold and inhuman.
Draco flashes Harry a red-hot look, then schools his features. "You'll have your magic, you can make sure I don't do it again."
"Draco I don't want to be with you."
"We've been together over two years, there has to be something." Now Draco is starting to sound more like himself, more manic, truly bothered by the fact that Harry is serious.
Harry stands but keeps himself small, shoulders slouched. He takes a step back from the couch, away from Draco. "I'm leaving," he stammers a bit over the words and doesn't make an immediate move to leave.
Draco stands as well, a few inches taller than Harry without needing to stand all the way up.
"What have I done?" Draco protests. He takes a step toward Harry and Harry steps back, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Nothing, I just, I'm not getting back together with you."
Draco takes another step forward. Harry holds still but grips himself a bit tighter.
"Please, don't," one of Harry's hands moves down just slightly hovering over where his wand is in his pocket, he really doesn't want to draw it. He's done basically no practicing since he started carrying it again.
Draco's palms go up in a surrender position. "Harry, please, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry, I just miss you." His eyes are soft, and so blue.
"I-" He's cut off by a sharp knock on the door. He's glad, unsure of what was going to come out of his mouth. His head feels fuzzy again, wrong, like Draco's in there controlling him.
The calm look on Draco's face glimmers with rage, but it's gone just as soon as it appears. "Stay here," Draco commands with practiced ease.
He doesn't know why, but he does. Harry stands rooted in the same spot even as Draco brushes by him. He turns to face the door, but can't see it from his angle, it's just around the corner and down the hall.
Harry touches his hand to his wand but doesn't pull it out. He feels out of control and is worried that he would do something he regrets if he pulls it out. I will if I have to, he promises himself, but I could have done that all along.
"Severus," Draco says, flatly, when the door is pulled open.
"Draco," Severus responds, Harry can just hear his voice from the distance.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Draco is clearly annoyed, Harry can hear it crisply in his voice.
"I'm looking for Harry, you met with him an hour ago."
Harry doesn't know why he doesn't say something at this point, or just walk three steps to be in clear view of Severus, but he doesn't do it, he stays just out of sight.
"Yes, we had a great chat, he seems well, now if you'll excuse me," Draco tries to close the door, Harry hears it creak, but it doesn't close all the way.
"Draco, I'm not insolent, I know he's here."
Harry feels antsy and even moves a step forward, then feels nauseous and takes a deep breath. I'm being fucking dramatic, Merlin's sake.
"An hour is a long time Severus, I'm sure Harry's gotten up to plenty away from both of us."
That does it, Harry finally rounds the corner into the hallway, Draco in between him and Severus. Harry can tell from the look on Severus' face and the tension leaving his own body that they're both glad to see each other.
Draco looks over his shoulder and deflates when he sees Harry. At least he has enough sense to know when he's lost.
Harry walks down the hall, but his body tenses when he comes near Draco.
"Merlin, I can't believe you're so frightened," Draco says, it's almost sarcastic.
Harry feels incredible anger flash through him, an emotion he has felt very rarely lately, Severus is equally as irate. Harry's still a few feet from the entrance. "You raped me. Multiple times." It feels good to say it out loud.
Draco scoffs, "You're my husband," is his only defense.
Buzzing with anger, Harry quickly whips back at him: "So when I was unconscious with a broken arm? That was just me being your husband?" Draco opens his mouth to say something else, but Harry continues, "What about when you beat me until I was bleeding, tied me down, and fucked me with no preparation. Did I mention I was begging you to stop and it was my fucking birthday? Is that just what you expected of me?" It's cathartic to shout at Draco, though he feels a cringe of shame when he sees that shocked look on Severus' face, learning more than Harry has chosen to divulge with him.
Severus takes a step forward and Draco takes a step further down the hall.
As Draco opens his mouth to speak, his words are abruptly cut off, his sentence left hanging in the air, because Severus has closed the gap between them. In a sudden burst of action, Severus' fist connects solidly with Draco's jaw, the impact echoing through the room.
Draco stumbles back a few steps and Severus reaches forward, grabs Harry's shirt, and apparates them back home.
Harry looks around the apartment for a few moments, eyes wide, and pulls himself out of Severus' grip.
"I would," Harry pauses, the adrenaline is leaving his body and making him slightly out of breath, "I need to be alone for a while."
Severus looks concerned, but nods and steps away, giving Harry space.
Harry wants to stay and talk to Severus and explain everything to him, but he just can't right now. Seeing Draco has made him feel so sick, so he slips away into his and Severus' bedroom, stripping his tainted clothes off and climbing into bed. He doesn't sleep, just lay awake, trying not to think.
When Harry finally emerges, several hours later, Severus is clutching his fist, wincing lightly in pain. His knuckles are red. Severus is on the couch with a glass of fire whiskey that Harry tries not to stare at. He immediately reaches for Severus' hand, coming to sit next to him on the couch. Severus has clearly already healed it but the knuckles will probably be inflamed for a few days.
It looks like Severus has been doing the same thing as him, just sitting, processing.
Holding Severus' hand in both of his own, Harry looks up at him. "You know you're a wizard, right? You have magic? You didn't have to hurt yourself," he chides.
Severus squeezes his hand around Harry's. "I was being merciful by not pulling my wand out."
They're quiet, then, and Harry scoots closer to Severus until their shoulders are touching. Severus' free arm goes around Harry's shoulders, but it's a very tentative, light touch.
Eventually, Severus squeezes Harry's hands one last time, before dropping them. "Harry?"
Harry lays his head on Severus' shoulder, not wanting to look at him, just mumbling his acknowledgment to Severus' voice.
"Why did you go in the house?"
He saw that question coming. Harry feels overwhelming guilt for going into Draco's home, almost like he was unfaithful to Severus by doing so. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did... He just made me feel so confused."
"If you see him again, I think it needs to be with someone."
Harry nods, his hair rubbing against Severus' neck. "I know." His voice is a little wet and he sniffles. "I can't believe that he got to me in just that little amount of time. It's like I'm not the same person."
Severus runs his hand up and down Harry's arm. "The way he talks to you..." Severus trails off, Harry hears the unspoken ending.
"I know. I think I wanted closure. Reminding him of the things he did made me feel a little better, but he just had no reaction. I don't think he cares." It's a hard realization for Harry, that he's probably never going to get an honest apology from Draco, that Draco most likely doesn't feel bad about what he did to Harry, only fears the consequences. "I just want to be over him."
It's quiet. Harry recognizes now when Severus doesn't know what he should say, doesn't know how to make the situation better. It's kind of refreshing that he can admit it, doesn't try to force some kind of platitude, just lets them both sit in silence.
"Maybe I should go to the Aurors."
"I think that would be a good idea."
It's been playing in Harry's mind for a while now, especially now that he knows it hopefully won't be terrible to face his old coworkers and boss. He needs Draco to sign the divorce papers, and Ron was right, it would be easier in a room full of law enforcement to keep Draco from trying anything. That's probably what I should have done in the first place, but Harry is, at his core, an abused child who wants love, and that doesn't exclude Draco.
More than that, Harry is slightly worried about the repercussions. He doesn't want a huge news story about how he was beaten by his husband, but Draco was able to make The Prophet back off with enough money, maybe Harry can do the same. Or maybe I need to just not give a shit.
"I don't feel like he deserves to go to Azkaban," Harry admits, miserably. It feels like so extreme of a punishment when all he really wants is for Draco to leave him alone forever.
Severus' fingers tighten on Harry's arm. "What you said he did to you," Severus doesn't elaborate, painfully aware of the fact that Harry admitted those things in the heat of the moment and that perhaps Harry had never meant to share them with him at all. Still, he knows now. "Azkaban is the least he deserves."
They sit on the couch for a while longer. Eventually, Severus grabs his book from the end table next to them. Harry just sprawls out, eventually laying down with his head in Severus' lap. He stretches his limbs out like a cat and circles one arm around Severus' thigh.
It's nice to be able to be so close to Severus, especially when the events of the day are still playing through his mind. I slept with Pansy Parkinson the night before our wedding. Harry hates the fact that he genuinely doesn't know if this is true. He can see both angles, that Draco was just lying to make him feel terrible, or he really had cheated on him.
You know what you've done Harry? You've made it so I can't even trust you. Harry squeezes his eyes shut as Draco's voice echoes in his mind.
Harry blinks his eyes open as a hand cards through his hair. "Harry, should we go to bed?" Severus asks quietly as Harry squints, it's too bright with the overhead lights on.
Harry just hmmmms in response and closes his eyes again, tired from the brief sleep he must have gotten. He doesn't remember falling asleep.
"Come on," Severus shifts a bit, which nudges Harry's head off his leg. "It's late," Severus chides and finally Harry peels himself off the couch, slowly climbing to his feet. He takes his glasses off and rubs at his eyes. Harry stretches his arms above his head, pulling his sweater up to reveal a strip of his stomach.
Severus stands and puts a hand on Harry's hip, pressing his lips against Harry's forehead. The feeling of Severus' warm hand on Harry's bare hip makes him shiver.
When Harry looks up to meet Severus' eyes he sees that they're slightly dark, aroused. Harry leans up to give Severus a proper kiss and Severus' hand tightens in its grip on Harry's hip.
"Hm, is this the real reason you woke me up?" Harry pulls away just far enough to mumble against Severus' lips, they still ghost against one another.
Severus kisses him again. "No, but it didn't help that your head has been in my lap for hours."
They kiss for a third time and this time neither of them pulls away.
Harry is needy and insistent, standing on his toes and putting his arms around Severus' neck to draw them closer together. Severus is slightly more hesitant and keeps his hands only lightly resting on Harry's hips, riding up just under the hem of his shirt.
"Bedroom?" Harry asks in between breaths.
Severus nods but presses a kiss to Harry's neck, not letting him slip away just yet.
Finally, Harry pulls out of Severus' grip with a grin and pulls Severus by the hand into their bedroom. They still haven't actually done anything in this bed. The quick handjobs the other day had been in Harry's original bedroom.
Harry pulls his sweater over his head without ceremony, leaving him in only his jeans and socks. Severus raises an eyebrow but doesn't take off his own button-up shirt. Inpatient, Harry starts to do it for him but only gets a few of the buttons undone before getting distracted and pressing wet kisses to Severus' chest.
Severus goes in to kiss Harry again but instead, Harry moves to the bed, shooting Severus a wry smile and scooting toward the middle of it, forcing Severus to come after him.
They end up with Harry on his back, Severus hovering over him, one knee on either side of Harry's legs. Harry readjust his glasses from where they'd gotten jostled, so he can see Severus clearly. Severus' face is flushed and his hair is hastily tucked behind his ears so it doesn't fall between their lips when they hungrily kiss each other again.
Harry puts his arms around Severus' shoulders, pulling them chest to chest, though Severus' shirt is still halfway done. Severus laces one hand through Harry's hair, just a gentle pressure, and the other elbow holds him up.
The kiss is open-mouthed and sloppy. When Severus pulls away for air Harry has drool falling from one corner of his mouth and throws him a debauched grin.
Harry nudges Severus' knees with his legs, forcing them wider, then shows off how flexible he is by flipping the position of their legs, pulling his up so that they're wrapped around Severus' waist.
"Sev," Harry whispers, his mouth next to Severus' ear.
"Hm?" Severus asks, pressing a kiss to Harry's jaw.
"I want you to fuck me." He's embarrassed to say it out loud and his cheeks flush darkly, his grin goes from lascivious to shy.
Severus presses another kiss against Harry's jaw, then one on his cheek, leaning forward ever so slightly, bringing Severus' covered cock against Harry's ass, making Harry bite his lip.
"I don't know, Harry," he pulls away just a bit, careful not to thrust his hips against Harry again, mainly for his own benefit and need to maintain some self-control. "I'm worried about you." Severus doesn't want to ruin the moment or make Harry feel uncomfortable, so he presses one more kiss on Harry's neck.
"Please, Severus."
Severus still looks very conflicted, but Harry wraps his legs tighter around him and finally, Severus gives in, nodding. "If you're sure."
Harry's hands immediately go to his own pants, starting to undo the button. Severus stills Harry's hands and presses their lips back together. He can tell that Harry is still nervous, so tries to calm his nerves with something familiar.
Severus worries that it's too soon, especially after today's events, but he also knows that Harry despises being treated like he can't make his own decisions.
Their hips rut against one another and finally, the feeling is too much so Severus finishes unzipping Harry's pants, then scoots back enough to pull Harry's jeans off. Harry is quickly pulling his underwear off as well, giving his sensitive cock a few blissful strokes.
They kiss for a few more minutes, and Severus takes over stroking Harry's cock. He considers just making Harry orgasm like this and putting off having sex for another day, but he can't deny that at this point his body is just as interested in the prospect as Harry seems to be.
Pulling away, Severus reaches for the bedside table, pulling open the top drawer and rifling around briefly for the lube.
Harry's glasses are fogged from all of their kissing and heavy breathing, so he pulls them off and sets them on the bed. Plus, Severus would never admit it but Harry knows he likes him with his glasses off.
Severus settles himself between Harry's legs. Harry rests his legs on Severus' hips to allow him better access.
Harry lay his head back on the pillows as he feels the first press of Severus' fingers against him, heavily coated in lube.
At once Harry goes from feeling overwhelmingly aroused and elated to having a swelling unease in his stomach. Something feels wrong. He looks down at Severus but with his glasses off it's hard to make out his exact features. Harry reaches for his glasses, but when he pulls them on he's smudged them with his sweaty fingers and the condensation is still unbearable, he can't see any better, so he takes them back off.
Severus presses one finger in but Harry can barely feel it, instead too focused on his pounding heart.
On my back, undressed, Severus fully clothed, no glasses on.
Severus notices that something is wrong right as Harry pulls himself away. He closes his legs, knees knocking against each other almost painfully, and scoots up on the bed, staring at Severus with wide, unfocused eyes. It's Severus; black hair, different build. It's him. Still, Harry can't see the expression on Severus' face.
Severus moves away from Harry the moment he sees the dazed look in his eyes, getting off the bed entirely. Harry looks pale. He draws his knees up and leans heavily against the pillows. His eyes don't look at anything in particular, darting around. Severus notices his glasses on the bed and grabs them, wiping the lenses gently with the cloth Harry keeps on the side table.
He holds the glasses out to Harry but Harry doesn't take them. He has one hand over his heart and is taking slow, controlled breaths, or at least trying to.
"I'm going to touch you, just to put your glasses on," Severus says, clearly. Harry doesn't respond so Severus leans forward and very gently slides them onto his nose.
Harry slumps a little when he can finally see, but still doesn't look at Severus.
Trying to make himself helpful Severus goes to the closet, pulling a soft blanket out from one of the top shelves. He unfolds it and sets it over Harry's lap. Harry immediately grabs the blanket and pulls it up to his waist, covering himself.
Finally, they look at each other. Harry's breaths become more erratic, less controlled, his hand doesn't leave his chest.
Harry feels like he's sucking breaths in through a straw. His eyes start to water, mainly just from the strain, but he doesn't look away from Severus, locking onto him like a ship lost in the ocean.
"Sev, I," he stutters out, trying to gasp in breaths. "I feel like I can't breathe."
"Can I touch you?" He asks, coming to sit on the side of the bed. Harry nods, his head feels heavy.
For a moment Severus just rearranges them. He moves the pillows so that he can sit behind Harry on the bed, pulling Harry up against his chest, but making sure to let Harry keep his hand on the blanket the whole time.
Severus can feel Harry's heartbeat, and can almost see it in his neck. It's loud, pounding.
"Am I having a heart attack?" Harry asks, his voice is full of genuine fear and he keeps his hand over it.
Severus pulls Harry's hand away from his heart, holding it in his own instead. "No," he assures and takes deep breaths against Harry's back. Slowly, Harry's breathing starts to try and mirror his own.
It takes a while, but Harry's breathing and heart rate return to normal and he leans heavily into Severus' chest. He rests his head back against Severus' shoulder.
Severus wraps his arms around Harry's shoulders, loosely, and Harry's head rolls to settle on Severus' bicep. Severus feels wetness seeping into his shirt, Harry is crying very quietly, almost gently.
"Hey," Severus whispers, and uses his thumb to wipe at Harry's eyes.
"I'm sorry, I really thought I could do it." Harry sounds so sad that it makes Severus want to cry. He doesn't, but he's not sure if he's ever felt such genuine empathy before.
"I know Harry, you have nothing to be sorry for," Severus assures.
"Is this position uncomfortable? Can I fall asleep like this?"
Honestly, the position is a little uncomfortable for Severus' back, but he would never tell Harry that. "Of course you can. Do you want me to read?"
Harry shakes his head. "Tell me a story. Something mundane, like how your 6th year was or something."
Severus smiles, which pours into his voice, "When Sirius tried to kill me?"
Harry can't help but laugh, Severus has the same inflection that Sirius had when he told the story. "Yeah, that sounds good."
Severus talks for a long time, making sure to include even minor details so that it takes a while to get through. Harry's glad that he already knows the story, so he doesn't feel so bad when eventually drifts to sleep.
