Heya, bet you weren't expecting to see me again so soon. It turns out that having these massive stretches between classes where you have nothing to do but sit in the library and write is actually a very productive situation. Don't expect this to become the norm, just think of it as a nice treat.

Now onto business, I'm super excited to present this chapter to you all. We'll be swinging into Once Upon a Swap which I know isn't the most beloved episode by the fandom, but I think I've sprinkled in some nice stuff. Also, remember how the last chapter took two weeks and was over 11,000 words? This one took around four days and is over 13,000. With that said, I hope you all enjoy.


Chapter 7: Skin Deep

It was far too early for Eda's liking. The sun wasn't even up, yet she had been woken by her curse unexpectedly acting up. It turned out that she hadn't quite finished her elixir from yesterday. The situation was sorted now, but that didn't solve the problem of her being awake. She decided to go make herself a cup of Apple Blood. If she was going to awake physically then she may as well be awake mentally too.

As she reached the kitchen, she began brewing her cup of morning juice. It was simple, quick, and, thankfully, silent. Titan only knows how King would react if she woke him up at this hour. She heard a slight crackling noise behind her but simply decided to ignore it. It was probably just Hooty anyways. She took her first sip and felt the surge of energy flow through her. The noise became more clear and she turned to face it. To her mild surprise, she saw Royal sitting on the couch, casting bolts of lightning between his fingers. Most of his armor was on, save for the helmet. He didn't seem to have noticed her, entirely focused on his current task.

"What're you doing up at this unholy hour," Eda asked, keeping her voice just above a whisper. Royal didn't respond and just continued to channel his Arc Light. Eda frowned and stepped closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the sudden touch and whirled around. He drew back his hand, preparing to flay everything before him with lightning. In his eyes was a maddened, panicked look. Eda held up her hands placatingly and Royal dropped his stance.

"Oh, it's just you. Sorry about that, I'm just…" his sentence trailed off as he searched for the right words. Eventually, he gave up and just shrugged.

"Right. So what were you doing awake, Bolt Brain?" Eda asked, taking another sip of Apple Blood. She offered the cup to Royal, but he waved it off.

"Just trying to keep my mind focused. I need a distraction right now."

"You need a distraction? From what, sleeping?" Eda asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Royal responded in a deadpan voice. He sat down on the couch and placed his head in his hands. Eda hopped over the backrest, joining him. The two sat in silence for a moment.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Eda prompted. Royal just shook his head.

"It's… personal. An Exo thing, you wouldn't understand."

"Here," Eda said, "I have an idea. I'll tell you something that's been bugging me, something I probably should've told you a while ago, and in return, you tell me about your… Exo problems." Royal didn't accept, but he didn't shoot her down either. Eda set her cup down on the table before them.

"Are you familiar with curses?" As Royal looked up, she caught a look of mild recognition in his eye. How such things could be conveyed through what was essentially a glowing light, she didn't know.

"Vaguely," he answered.

"Well, I have one. Had it ever since I was a kid. If I use too much magic or get too caught up in my emotions, I run the risk of turning into an Owl Beast. Ask the kid for a picture sometime, she can show you. I have an elixir I can take to counteract it but it makes life difficult. It's the reason I live out here so far from town. Well, that and it means I'm further from the law." Royal chuckled slightly. It was a mirthless sound. Eda picked her mug back up and took another sip, staring at Royal expectantly.

"Alright, I'll spill," he began reluctantly, "I had a dream earlier."

"Is that it? Just a dream?"

"Dreams mean something different for Exo's," Royal explained, "We all experience the same dream with slight variations. Every night, it's the same thing. We find ourselves in a field of flowers, with a building just across the way. We try and walk towards the building, towards the Deep Stone Crypt. Sometimes, it's a peaceful walk. Usually, it isn't. As we walk, figures appear to attack us. They wear the faces of people we know. Or at least, people we knew. I can't remember all of them, but I knew them at some point, in another life and another reset. These people may have been friends, even family. And I killed them. All of them. Without even having to think about it. It was just a reflex to me, second nature, as easy as breathing. Exo's were built to kill after all."

Eda regarded him sympathetically, "So you're forced to kill people you know over and over, every night? Damn, I can't imagine. I mean, I got some family issues myself, you've met Lilith, but I can't even imagine this."

"Wait, Lilith is related to you?"

"We're sisters, did you not know that?" Royal shook his head, causing Eda to let out a small chuckle before prompting Royal to continue.

"Right, so, tonight was a little different. There were a few Witches amongst the crowd, but other than that, things were normal. As normal as the whole experience can be. Then, when I got to the end, I saw-" his voice died in his throat. Eda was certain that he might have started crying if he was capable of such a thing. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No," Royal said, "I need to get this out. I reached the end of the crowd and… you were there. And I cut your head off."

"So," Eda wasn't quite certain how she was expected to respond to that, "I was the last person you saw in your little dream adventure, huh? I'm flattered."

"You weren't the last one. After you died, one last person attacked me." His voice cracked with guilt and Eda could start to guess where this was going.

"It was Luz, wasn't it?" She asked, already knowing the answer. Royal nodded slowly, his face covered with shame and regret.

"I impaled her. Didn't even hesitate. She bled out, right in front of me. All the time, she looked me in the eye with a blank, empty stare." He buried his face in his hands again in an attempt to hide from judgment.

"Look, it was just a dream," Eda consoled gently, "You would never do that."

"But I would," he said, his voice dull, "When I was raiding the Emperors' Coven facility, I killed dozens of guards without even thinking about it. It's like I said, Exo's are built to kill. All it would take is one mistake and her blood would be on my hands."

"Nice to know you're concerned about me," Eda muttered under her breath. Fortunately, Royal didn't seem to hear her. "Look… Royal, here's an idea. Why don't you take a break? The Vex can wait a day or two while you get back in proper order. Why don't you come out to the market with us later? We could use another pair of hands to work the merchandise. And I'll throw in a little extra, if you join us, I'll let you in on a little secret we nicked off the Emperors' Coven."

Royal looked at her in confusion, orange optic lenses meeting golden orbs. She offered a small smile to reassure him and held out her hand. Hesitantly, he reached out and accepted it.

"Alright, you got yourself a deal. Bird Brain."

"Watch yourself Rustbucket."


Needless to say, Luz was ecstatic when she heard that Royal would be accompanying them. He usually was content to remain at the Owl House so he could tune his gear or track the Vex or whatever he did in his free time. Fortunately, it seemed that she was so caught up in her celebration that she hadn't noticed Royal shuffling away from her uncomfortably as he held his hands behind his back. Suddenly, Luz froze in place as a contemplative look came over her face.

"We're going to need a disguise for him," she said, " His armor is too recognizable, and the Exo face isn't much better." Eda put up her hands, capturing Royal in a box as she inspected him.

"I can craft up an illusion to cover him, but I'll need some inspiration."

Luz retrieved her pencil and a sheet of paper. "You leave that to me." As she sketched Eda, King, and Lancer all chimed in to offer their own suggestions. When Royal tried to take a look, he was shooed off. Once she was done, Eda held up the picture with one hand and began casting the spell with the other. A small blue cloud poofed around Royal as the spell activated. Eda pulled a mirror out of her hair and held it out to Royal for him to inspect himself.

His armor and robes had been transformed into more casual attire. He had thick brown boots and slick black pants that ran down his legs. On his torso, he had a heavy purple sweatshirt with the zipper open. Underneath was a blank white shirt with the Warlock insignia emblazoned in Solar orange. He had a pair of gloves on his hands, each with a small Dawnblade etched into them. His face was fairly thin, with well-defined cheeks and deep-set eyes. The skin itself was pale and his eyes retained their characteristic orange glow. The top of his head was covered in bright blonde hair that was cut short. A matching mustache ran just under his nose. As he turned his head slightly, he noticed that his ears ended in a characteristic Witch point. He flicked it, mildly irritated by the design choice. As he touched his face, he realized that he could still feel the smooth metal plates that the illusion covered.

"Well," Luz said eagerly, "What do you think?"

"I think he looks like a nerd," Lancer quipped.

"It's… nice," Royal said, ignoring his friend. He noticed that Eda had covered his voice as well. The usual mechanical edge was gone, replace with something smooth and organic, "I'm just not used to wearing a face that isn't mine. Could've done without the Witch ears though."

"That's just so we don't have to explain why a second Human popped up," Eda explained. Royal reluctantly accepted the reasoning.

"Also, what's with the mustache? And why blonde?"

Luz scrapped her foot against the ground hesitantly. "I dunno, it just felt right. When I try picturing you as a Human, this is what I see." Royal gave himself a final once-over.

"I like it. Now, shall we get going? Don't want to miss the rush, do we?"

Eda nodded in agreement and led the group out front. She pulled out her staff and hopped on. A quick magic circle later and she summoned her bag of trash… sorry, Human treasures. King clambered up behind her, resting on her shoulder.

"Loads a little heavy today, I don't know if I can fit both of you on," she said to Luz and Royal. The Guardian shrugged in response.

"I think I can manage," he said as Lancer called his sparrow out of transmat, "We'll have to touch down outside of town, but we'll be able to find our way to you." Luz gained an eager look in her eye as Royal mounted his vehicle.

"Can I ride with you? I've been wanting to take a spin on this baby," she asked bubbly. Royal scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea, it only has one seat and it goes pretty fast," he said awkwardly. While that was true, he could just drive slower than usual to account for the extra passenger. In truth, he just wanted some distance between himself and Luz for the moment. Unfortunately, his Ghost hadn't gotten the message.

"Don't be silly, I'm sure she'll fit," Lancer said before turning to address Eda, "Don't worry about us, we'll catch up with you." Eda shot Royal a sympathetic look before taking off. He sighed, before gesturing for Luz to join him. She accepted without hesitation, crowding onto the seat behind him and wrapping her arms around his midsection for stability.

"Just… please hold on tight, ok?" He said.

"You got it, I'm sure you'll keep me safe," she responded, failing to notice the pained edge in his eyes. Thumbing the activation, the two took off towards Bonesborough. Royal was sure to deliberately cap his speed at a safe limit. This sparrow had been designed to be ridden by a Lightbearer and was a little lacking in basic safety features as a result. As the pair rode, Luz tried to break the silence.

"So, how was babysitting?"

"Alright, for the most part. Just tiring. What about you, how was your day?"

"Oh it was great," Luz replied cheerfully, "I met Amity's older twin siblings-I'm sure you remember her-and they were pretty cool for the most part." Lancer coughed at that for some reason. "We went back to the library after dark and the books came to life, we did some dress-up, had a snowball fight, and apparently anything you draw in the books comes to life as well."

"Sounds fun," Royal commented, Luz made a so-so gesture with her hand.

"It was, then things kinda went a little downhill. Turns out the twins wanted to steal Amity's diary so they could use it as revenge for her tattling on them." Royal turned his head back slightly in disbelief. "I know right? But she ended up catching us and the twins left. I tried to apologize but we got attacked by a giant monster from a children's book. Then we- woaaaah!"

Royal cut her off by slamming on the brakes of his sparrow. The two came to a standstill and he turned to face her.

"I'm sorry, what happened?" He asked incredulously. Luz let out a nervous chuckle.

"Edric, Amity's older brother, drew in a children's book and turned the main character into a big monster that tried to trap us in the pages for all time," she spoke quickly, shrinking under his gaze. "We did manage to escape and defeated Otabin. Probably would've been a lot easier if you were there, but we managed. After we cleaned up, I lent Amity my copy of The Good Witch Azura number five. I think we're on good terms now."

"Lancer, I thought you were looking after her."

"Hey, next time you try wrangling a group of three teens while being the size of a tennis ball," Lancer defended, "See how easy it is for you."

"Alright," Royal said, starting up the sparrow again, "Next time you go to the library, you're bringing a gun."

"I don't need a gun," Luz protested.

"In that case, no more library."

Luz huffed, "Do you at least have something a little easier to use? That revolver of yours kicks hard. My hands felt sore for hours."

"I'll see if I have something a little lighter for you," Royal teased, "Maybe a toy blaster is more your speed." He received a light smack on the back of the head for that. His mind flashed back to the field from his dreams. Shaking his head to clear the vision, he realized they were coming up on the edge of Bonesborough.

Last stop, everyone out," he called, pulling on the brakes. The two dismounted and Lancer pulled the sparrow back into transmat. Luz gestured for the others to follow her as she led them to the market. For once, no one tried to stop him or watched him as he walked. He blended in with the crowd and they all paid him no heed. A few short minutes later and they arrived at Eda's stand. She emerged from the tent and waved the Humans down.

"Alright you two, time to get to work. I already got King acting as our mascot, so Luz, you'll be manning the stand, Lightbulb, you're in charge of making sure she doesn't get eaten by anything. Glowstick, you'll be helping me move some product in the back." As soon as she finished giving out orders, the group split up. Royal followed Eda into the tent and was met with several massive piles of junk.

"People actually buy this crap?" He asked, inspecting a small tricycle.

"You'd be amazed what people can be convinced into buying," Eda said proudly, "So, how was the ride?"

"Mercifully uneventful. What do you need my help moving?" Eda glanced back to the tent entrance. Once she was satisfied that their companions weren't listening in, she turned back to Royal and pulled a small piece of paper out of her hair. He accepted it and gave it a quick look. It was a stylized drawing of himself wielding a Dawnblade.

"Wanted: Royal-6, aka the Guardian, aka the Lightbearer. Price: 1,000,000,000,001 snails," he read quietly.

"Congratulations, you're officially a convict in the eyes of the law," Eda deadpanned. Royal remained silent for a few seconds, contemplating the situation. He looked back up, smirking slightly.

"My bounty is higher," he teased.


-]Frame design progress: 17% complete[-

Synegorus worked with purpose. It was designing a new Vex frame, one built for combat. While the Wyverns it had were capable, they had proven limited when it came to dealing with the Guardian. But this new frame would be a masterpiece. Synegorus ran a quintillion possible simulations for each component to ensure they would be perfect. It was slow work, but it was more logical to take the necessary time.

A brief pulse captured the smallest fraction of the Minds attention. One of its Goblins had sent a report. Synegorus analyzed it in its entirety. Conflux progress was steady but slow, which was to be expected. It would soon be able to pull smaller Vex forms through. However, there was something else of interest. The Goblins had captured a Witch that had been tracking them. Dissection had provided a wealth of valuable data on Magic, data that Synegorus could use. It focused on the Bile Sac, a small organ attached to the heart of a Witch. Synegorus began to file through the data it had set aside from magic.

-]Analysis: Magic supposedly comes from the Titan[-

\Subnote: The Titan refers to the corpse of a large Demon that Witches live on

-]Analysis: Witches filter magic through their Bile Sacs[-

Synegorus understood now, that magic was simply a bio-chemical reaction Witches could control. And if it was biological, then that meant it was Causal. A Causal power was one that the Vex would be able to simulate. Synegorus focused its incalculable might and forced itself into one of the Goblins' minds.

As it surveyed the world around it, the other two Goblins dropped to one knee and stuck their arms out to the side. Synegorus studied the sun in the sky. It could calculate its specific chemical composition down to the atom. It knew exactly how many attoseconds it would last before collapsing. Yet it could not feel the rays upon its metal. Synegorus stretched one of the Goblins' hands outwards in an attempt to grasp the sun and pull it from the sky. As its hand closed on empty air, Synegorus felt something it had never felt before.

-]Analysis: The Sun is…[-

-]Beautiful[-

\Subnote: Beauty is the physical qualities that an object or person possesses that one finds attractive

-]Theoretical: In an effort to understand the Guardian, this unit has become able to experience certain aspects of their existence[-

-]Practical: There is no sight more beautiful than watching a sun rise over a dead world[-

"This world will be perfect," Synegorus spoke. Its voice boomed, disturbing the snow around it. As it spoke, the form of the Goblin it was possessing began to fracture. "It will be perfect when everything is dead."

"What are you?" A new horrified voice asked. Synegorus turned around, finally seeing the Witch the Goblins had captured. He had been stripped of his clothes and bound to a nearby tree. His chest had been carved open, with internal organs exposed to the cold air as he bled from dozens of cuts. It was only by the will of the Vex that he was still alive. Synegorus walked to the Witch. Where a normal Goblin might stomp heavily, Synegorus' stride was smooth and elegant. It reached the bound Witch, it stooped down to stare him in the eye.

"I am a walking extinction event." As soon as he finished, the Goblins' form finally fell apart, unable to sustain the sheer power of Synegorus' influence. It didn't collapse, rather, its atoms simply failed to maintain their structure. As it dissolved into a puddle of molecular soup, Synegorus withdrew back to the Vex Domain.

-]New combat frame will require a name[-

-]Name selected[-

-]Typhon design progress: 19%[-


The hours ticked on and business was slow. Royal was currently sitting on a stool behind the sales table, mindlessly tapping away on the wood. As punishment for teasing her, Eda had stuck him on guard duty, not that anyone would ever be stupid enough to try and steal this junk. He absentmindedly watched as King lept into the air, trying to grab a flag hanging above him. The Demon fell back to the table and lost his balance, falling into a small pile of junk.

"Curse this stupid flag," he cried. Royal sighed and picked him up by the scruff of his neck, placing him back on the table. Right as he did, Luz came walking over with Lancer hovering just behind her.

"I know it's been a little slow today, so Lancer and I cooked up just the attention grabber we need," she announced proudly. Lancer nodded next to her before materializing a sign above the stand, fastened to the pre-existing sign. He then transmatted a ladder for Luz to climb up. She quickly scaled up while Royal and King both watched. She tapped a glyph on the board and the whole thing began to light up. Once it was finished, the words Eda the Owl Ladies Human Collectables were shining brightly into the market.

"Who doesn't like their name in lights?" Luz asked rhetorically. A recreation of Eda's face appeared beside the sign, winking at any potential customers. Royal clapped briefly before returning to his boredom. He began snapping his fingers, summoning flames, lightning, or void energy with each snap.

"Was it too subtle?" Luz asked, disappointed by the response she had received.

"Does subtle mean ugly?" Came a new voice Royal hadn't heard before. He looked over to the origin of the voice, seeing a Witch teen with magenta hair and three eyes approaching with two followers. He rolled his eyes and went back to his distraction.

"Hi, Boscha," he heard Luz greet them, "Hexsidians! See anything you like?"

Ew! No," Boscha retorted, "I'm just here to take an ironic Penstagram next to your weird flashing trash sign." The Witch summoned a phone-like device and began taking pictures of the stand.

Luz was less than amused. "This isn't funny Boscha."

"Oh, what are you gonna do," Boscha taunted, "spit your human venom on me?" She began to cackle before a bolt of lightning impacted the ground between her feet. She leaped back in shock.

"Who threw that?" She asked indignantly. Royal raised his hand.

"That would've been me," he said, rising from his seat and towering over the teen, "You are causing a disturbance in our shop." He sparked a flame in his hand and held it up near his head. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to vacate the premises."

"Oh please, like I'm scared of you," she dismissed. Boscha caught sight of King standing behind the disguised Guardian. "Oh my Titan, you are adorable. I have to own you." She pushed past Royal and grabbed King off the table, holding his struggling body close. "How much for him?" King managed to slip out of her grip and leaped back to the safety of the table.

"You couldn't afford me, sister," he declared, striking a sassy pose. The assembled teenagers, Luz included, all cooed.

"That is the wrong reaction!" He protested. Eda poked her head out of the tent.

"My money-making sense is going off." She lept over to where the teens were located, pushing Royal out of the way. "Hey kid, can I offer you the latest fashion trends," she asked before magically changing her attire, "from the Human Realm?" Royal had to rub his eyes to ensure he was seeing this right. She was dressed in all manner of clothes that clashed with eachother. He covered his eyes in an attempt to shield himself.

"Yeah, no," Boscha shot her down. She left with her group, laughing as they went. Eda tapped her staff and her outfit faded away.

"Well, I hate her."

"Yeah teens can be sour, but I'm a sweety," Luz said, "Just look what Lancer and I made for you." She pointed to the additional sign they had added. Eda gasped.

"Luz! We need to take that down!"

"Did I spell something wrong?" Luz asked, not understanding why her mentor was panicking. Eda ignored her, gesturing for Royal to help her. He sighed and lifted off the ground, using the Light to glide up to the sign. With minimal effort, he plucked it off and dropped back to the ground. Eda grabbed it from his hands and began wiping the glyphs away.

"Luz, do I need to remind you that I'm a wanted criminal? If I went around with a bright sign advertising my presence, I'd be swarmed by half the guards in Bonesborough," Eda explained.

"I'm not seeing any guards around here," Luz countered, "and besides, aren't you the most powerful Witch in the Boiling Isles? Not to mention that I'm sure Royal would be able to take care of them himself. He can just snap his fingers and call down a bolt of lightning on them."

"Doesn't quite work like that," Royal commented, only to be ignored.

"As long as he's here, I don't really think you have to worry about anything," Luz continued.

"And what do you mean by that?" Eda asked, narrowing her eyes.

"He's an immortal magical space warrior, that's practically my dream life," Luz elaborated.

"Woah Woah," Royal gestured for them to calm down, "Being a Guardian ain't all sunshine and rainbows. There's a lot of pressure that comes with the job. It comes with a lot of duties and responsibilities. The Light is not a toy. If I was actually given a choice, I'd take Eda's place any day." King scoffed and pointed at the guardian accusingly.

"Oh please, you have all this power at your fingertips. There is no problem you can't just blast away."

"Yeah," Luz agreed, "If I had the Light, I would be able to solve all my issues. I could finally live out my dream."

King rounded on her. "What problems could you have aside from dumb teen drama? You have no idea how hard some of us have it."

"You're pampered like a baby all day long," Eda threw her hat into the ring, "How hard is that life?"

"I don't know if you've realized, but I'm not a baby!"

"Then why are you screaming like one?" Luz accused.

"My life is a living nightmare!" He screamed to the sky. Royal slammed his fist down on the table.

"ENOUGH!" The three stopped their bickering and looked at him in unison, "This is getting out of hand."

"You're right," Eda acknowledged, "There's only one way we can solve this."

"Hug each other until we pass out?" Luz asked, pulling over Lancer and squeezing him.

"Fight to the death!" King roared.

"Shut up, get back to work, and let this simmer internally for weeks before it bursts out again?" Royal asked. Eda shot him a weird look before continuing.

"You are all equally wrong. There's only one way to fix this and that's a body swap spell!" She sighed, pleased by her own genius, "I love body swapping. It's like demonic possession, but with the people you love."

"Now hold up," Royal objected, "let's think about this for a second."

"Already did," Eda declared, "and I'm doing it." Before anyone could react, Eda raised her staff over their heads and spun it, coating them all in bright golden light. Royal staggered back, tripping over his feet and falling to the ground. He groaned as pain flared in his body. He reached up to massage his forehead, only to freeze when his hand made contact. He rubbed it experimentally, feeling the skin move with his hand. He felt a wave of nausea come over him and he barely forced down a wave of bile. He shot back to his feet and fished for the nearest mirror. Grabbing it, he inspected his appearance. To his shock, Eda's face stared back at him.

"By the Nine," he muttered, doing a double take as he heard Eda's voice. He felt someone place a hand on his shoulder.

"Isn't this weird," he heard his own voice speak to him. He stood up and looked himself in the eye.

"Who's in there?" he asked. His face twisted into a grin and whoever was piloting his body struck a pose.

"Guess who has the Light now? Luz, that's who!" Luz cheered. Lancer floated over, looking between Luz and Royal.

"Sorry Lightbulb," King's body, likely being used by Eda, spoke up, "Didn't think to include you."

"Don't worry about it, this is way more fun."

Luz's body finally rose to its feet. King, because it had to be King, raised his fist triumphantly. "With this body, I shall reclaim my throne and rule over those miserable teenagers." Royal tried to walk over to Eda, only to stumble over himself.

"Damnable heels, how can you wear these Eda?"

She scoffed at him, "My place isn't so fun now, is it?" As he clambered back to his feet, Eda explained how this body-swapping escapade was going to go down.

"Here's the deal, we all go about our day in each other's skin. Whoever proves that whichever body they're inhabiting has it the easiest gets out of cleaning duty for a month. And you all know what that means." They all gulped, knowing full well exactly what that meant. Whoever had to clean the house had to clean Hooty.

"Won't be me," King proclaimed, "By the end of the day, I'll be crowned as rulers of the teenagers!"

"Well, I have the Light now," Luz boasted, "I'm going to go live out my fantasy. You can call me Luz-6."

"Like hell you are," Royal objected, "I am getting my body back. Also, that's not how the number works."

"Really," Luz looked at him smugly, "You want your body back? Come and take it."

Royal frowned and drew a spell circle. A brief second passed without anything happening.

"Did I do it wro-" He was cut off by a beam of magic surging out of his finger and flinging him back. Luz narrowly ducked under the blast, allowing it to fly overhead and tear through the structure behind her.

"Oh my Traveler, I am so sorry," Royal apologized, "I- I didn't expect…"

"Nah, it's good," Luz said dismissively, "Besides, I'm unkillable now."

"Sounds like we're all good to go then," Eda said, "Meet up back here in a few hours." With that, she hopped off the table. She walked down the road slightly, before turning back to the stand, "By the way, Glowstick, you're in charge of bringing in the money." With that, she departed.

"What if we get lost?" Luz asked. Royal waved his hand.

"Don't worry about that, I'll be able to find you."

"I must go, I have minions to conscript," King said as he ran off as well, leaving Royal alone with Luz and Lancer.

"How does this stuff work?" Luz asked the Ghost, "I'm trying to do the whole "lighting my hands on fire" thing."

"Come on Lancer, you're not really going to go along with this, are you?"

"Oh it's easy, just let the Light flow through you and give it a shape to take," he explained despite Royals' protests. Luz nodded in understanding, before thrusting her hand out and sending a fireball spiraling through the air.

"I did it!" She celebrated, "Come on, I wanna go try this stuff out." With that, the two took off. Royal attempted to give chase, only to trip over his heels yet again. He sighed and gave up, pulling over his stool and taking a seat.

"It took me a week before I could throw my first fireball," he complained to no one in particular. Owlbert popped off Eda's staff and flew over to Royal's shoulder. He hooted, staring Royal in the eye.

"Yeah, I can't understand you pal."


Eda was having the time of her life. Everywhere she went, people showered her with gifts and sweets. She had even been stopped by a Coven guard and hadn't needed to beat him up. Instead, he had given her a lollipop.

"This is the life, those suckers are going down," she mused. Suddenly, she found her path blocked by a pair of Witches.

"Oh, Dottie. Look at this lost little dumpling," one of them swooned, reaching down to pick her up.

"Hey, get your hands off me!" Eda protested. The Witch ignored her.

"Do you need us to cook you a delicious meal?" She asked. Eda stopped her struggling.

"A meal you say? Well, in that case, take me away ladies." The two obliged, carrying Eda to their cafe. The place was filled with soft-looking furniture and other adorably tiny Demons, all going about their own business.

"Welcome to our kitty cafe. It's a safe haven for little cherubs like you," the Witch explained, "Precious cargo like you needs to be taken care of." She booped Eda on the nose before lowering her into a crib. "All you need to worry about is how many delicious num-nums you're going to eat."

"On the one hand, creepy old ladies. On the other hand, num-nums." Eda weighed her options carefully. The Witch held out a cupcake for her, which Eda gladly accepted. "Num-nums it is!"

"This place is safe from the outside world. And especially all those nasty teenagers who infest it," the Witch continued, "You have a good nap deary. And welcome to your new home."

Eda snuggled into her crib, preparing to fall asleep, only for someone to cast an ominous shadow across her. She looked up, preparing to give whoever was disturbing her beauty rest a piece of her mind. Rather than some nosy Witch, a small cat-like Demon loomed over her. They had a bowtie tucked away neatly just under their chin.

"Leave this place," he commanded with a foreboding tone. He grabbed her by her shoulders, "Danger is near!" Before he could elaborate, a voice called from the back room.

"Oh Baby Demon, we have a gift for you." Eda shoved the cat Demon out of her crib.

"Get lost Bowtie, there's a new star in town." The door to the back swung open and the elderly Witch walked out with her arms behind her back.

"A gift for our newest Demon," she said, proudly displaying what was in her hands. It was a sickeningly cutesy bumblebee outfit. Eda felt herself grow ill just looking at it.

"Alright, I'm out," she said, climbing out of her crib, "Novelty costumes are where I draw the line." She began walking to the exit, fully intending to put as much distance between herself and this place as possible.

"Dottie," the Witch called to her partner, "please help our newest little angel get changed." Dottie growled menacingly and lept across the furniture in the room to intercept Eda. Her partner walked up from behind, boxing Eda in.

"Oh no sweetie, you can't survive out there. Not without us."

"Back off lady," Eda said forcefully, "I'm not above disrespecting my elders." She stuck out her finger to cast a spell, only for nothing to happen. "Oh right, not a Witch."

"No baby," her captor cackled, "You're a cutie-patootie." She reached over to grab Eda, only for the Witch-Demon to narrowly evade. Thinking quickly, Eda ran into the backroom and blockaded the door with a chair. She stepped back as the Witches pounded on the door.

"Let us in this instant, it is not time for you to be in there yet," the Witch howled as she pounded on the door.

"Stop babying me!" Eda shouted back. Her only response was to continue pounding on the door. Shaking her head, she turned to see the rest of the room. She very quickly wished she hadn't. The room was stocked with shelves housing tiny Demons sitting on rocking chairs. They all had the same blank expression as they stared into the abyss.

"This vacation just took a dark turn," Eda said to herself as she waved her paw in front of one of the captives.

"Don't bother," came a voice from behind her. Spinning around, she saw that it was Bowtie from earlier. "Their minds are tragically gone. They've been babied so much, they've forgotten how to think for themselves. Their brains have turned to mush."

"That won't happen to us, right?" Eda asked hesitantly as she cast her gaze around the horror show. Bowtie didn't respond. She turned back to face him, only to see him mindlessly batting a ball of yarn.

"I failed you Bowtie, my closest ally," Eda mourned as she snapped a salute for her fallen comrade. Suddenly, the door burst open and Dottie stomped in. Eda grabbed Bowtie's limp body and threw it at the Witch. It was unsurprisingly ineffective. Eda dashed through the legs of the Witch, rushing back to the entrance. A small glint of sunlight caught her eye and she steered for it, narrowly diving through a small hole.

"Yes! Freedom!" She cried only for her hope to be dashed when she ran face first into a window. The Witch appeared outside the shop, looking in at Eda.

"Oh how wonderful, now everyone can see our new baby," she said, holding up the bee costume, "Forever."


"So…" Royal awkwardly asked Owlbert, "got any hobbies?" The Palisman hooted and pulled out a deck of cards from a small cabinet. He placed them on the table and began dealing out decks to each of them.

"Alright, now we're talking. Here, after this, I'll show you how to play Poker," Royal said eagerly. Owlbert hooted happily.


King lept and snatched a flag from its display. He had done it, he had conquered his hated foe. The entire world would sing his praises. Look out Belos, there was a new ruler in town. Unfortunately, his celebration was interrupted by him falling into a trashcan. He pulled himself out, still trying to get the hang of his new limbs. As he rose back to his feet, a water balloon impacted the ground near him. A large flurry of tentacles erupted from the splash. They writhed around madly for a few moments, seeking prey to latch onto.

"The Flag," King shouted, "It seeks revenge!" After a few seconds, the tentacles receded back into nothingness. His ears perked up as he heard the sound of laughter from above him. Following the sound, he saw the two teens from Bosha's posse throwing more water balloons down into the streets. He watched as one such projectile arced above him and landed further into the town. His face grew a conniving smile as he watched the tentacles latch onto an unfortunate victim and begin thrashing him around. Hatching a plan, King began to work his way up to the teens' perch.

After a few minutes of climbing, he found himself just outside their clubhouse. Grinning, he threw open the door. Inside was a few more teens, all going about their business. Two of them, one of whom King recognized as Boscha, were resting and browsing their scrolls. A third was hovering in the air thanks to a pair of winged shoes. He was attempting to do some exercise, though it seemed that he was failing miserably. They all looked over at him, surprised by his bold entrance.

"Greetings, minions! Bow before your new king!" He declared loudly. The teen with winged shoes, dressed in an Oracle track uniform, fell to the ground.

"Nobody tells me what to do!" He dissented.

"Shut up," Bosha ordered, to which the Oracle student meekly acquiesced. She returned to her scroll and began typing away. "New post: Loser Human thinks she can hang out in our sacred Treasure Shack. Spoiler: She's wrong."

The Oracle student flew over to King. "Yeah, get out of here you goody-two-shoes."

"Goody-two-shoes, huh," King mused. He lashed out, grabbing the flying shoes, and swiping them clean off the Witch who promptly fell to the ground again. King quickly slipped the shoes on and flew outside, grabbing the container of water balloons.

"Hey, impressionable youths," he shouted, catching the eyes of every teen present, "Follow me, and you can do some real damage!" As he spoke, he flung the entirety of the water balloons into town. They all impacted in the same area, merging together. A massive storm of tentacles erupted forth from the ground, stretching high into the air behind King who held his arms out to the side. He floated back to the ground as the teens watched in awe.

"I didn't like her telling me what to do before," the Oracle student said, "but I definitely do now." Boscha huffed at that while King smirked. The rest of the teens all cheered and grabbed their own flying shoes to follow suit. As they flew off, Boscha shouted after them angrily.

"Hey! I didn't give you permission to leave!" They ignored her, flying further into Bonesborough. She frowned and crossed her arms before a sound from below caught her attention. Looking down, she saw someone streaking through the streets of Bonesborough on the back of a mount she had never seen before. They whooped and hollered as they streaked through an empty street towards the edge of town. Boscha smirked, she had just gotten a brilliant idea.

King had led his new gang through town as they unleashed a reign of terror. A few altered signs and they had started an Elf riot. A phone call was hooked up to a speaker and everyone in town was subjected to Hootys horrific voice. As they fled the scene of their latest escapade, rilling up some beasts kept in containment, King mused on his new band.

"Man, this is so easy," he said to himself, "I don't know what Luz was talking about." He was pulled out of his monologue when Boscha appeared before him. He stopped before her as his minions fell in behind him.

"I don't know why they can't remember how much of a weirdo you are, but I'm going to make them remember," the Witch proclaimed. King laugh and rolled his eyes.

"Oh no, I'm so scared," he mocked, turning back to his crew, "she thinks she still has power over you guys." As he turned, he saw that his minions were cowering beneath Boscha's glare.

"Luz," Boscha said forcefully, "I challenge you to a race around Dead Mans Curve." The teens audibly gasped as Boscha pointed to a nearby race track. It was a winding, twisting trail filled with spikes, traps, and other hazards. She then pointed over to a padlock of Rat-Worms, "And we'll be riding on those."

One of King's minions, Skara if he recalled correctly, stepped forward. "You don't have to do this. We know that Humans are, like, super fragile." King brushed her off.

"Don't baby me," he said before turning to Boscha, "I accept your strange coming-of-age challenge. Now, to battle!"

The group made their way over to the track. Each mounted their Rat-Worms and prepared to begin. Boscha's was a powerfully built creature with a cruel glint in its eye. Meanwhile, King's seemed to be a little undercooked as its eyes lazily drifted in opposite directions. Amelia stood before the two, holding an onion ring in her hand. She raised it high and began to count them down.

"On your mark. Get set. GO!" She shouted. Rather than throw the onion ring, she just took a bite out of it. Boscha's mount took off down the track while King's seemed content to stay put. He kicked the beast lightly.

"C'mon, go," he ordered. The beast looked at him indignantly. He raised his hand and smacked the Rat-Worm on the side. "I order you to go!" The beast roared and took off with King barely managing to hold on. He screamed as he felt his arms jolt in their sockets. He caught sight of Boscha ahead of him, expertly slinging around each turn. King braced himself as his beast came up on them. His mount clumsily swung around the turns, causing him to bounce around in his seat. As it settled down, he found himself facing backward. Looking over to the right, he saw Boscha staring at him with a perplexed expression on her face.

"This is how the cool kids ride," King attempted to cover for himself. Rather than dignify him with a response, Boscha simply pulled back on the reigns of her creature. As she came to a stop, King raced past.

"Yes! Say goodbye to your popularity," he boasted. Boscha waved at him with a devious look on her face.

"Bye-bye," she taunted. King turned in his seat, seeing the track edge coming up on him fast. He didn't even have time to scream as he went rocketing over the edge. As he fell, he quickly sent out a prayer to every deity he could think of.

"Titan, please offer me protection in my time of need. And should that fail, Traveler, if you could do me a solid and send me a Ghost afterward, that would be great."

He fell into the roof of the Treasure Shack, reducing it to a pile of rubble. As he groaned in pain, Boscha rolled up with her group.

"No!" Skara wailed, "Not the Treasure Shack!"

"I don't know what to think," the Oracle student panicked, "Someone tell me what to think!"

Boscha snapped her fingers and pointed at King. "Get her!"

King scrambled out of the ruins as the teens gave chase. He ducked into the streets of Bonesborough, not paying attention to where he was going. Eventually, he managed to throw them off his trail by slipping inside a nearby building. As he caught his breath, the light snapped on. Two old Witches regarded him with hostility.

"Dottie, a wretched teen has come to steal our little babies."

"No, wait," King said backing up, "I am a little baby."

"No your not," she replied, "You're a rotten teenager. But when we're finished with you, you'll be crying for mommy."

"I just want my body back," King wailed. Eda's voice spoke up beside him.

"You can have it," she deadpanned. He turned, seeing her wearing a cutesy bee costume. "Your life sucks. But hey, it'll probably be over soon." Before King could respond, a bag was tossed over his head and everything went dark.


Owlbert and Royal had been playing cards for a while now. The Palisman had taught him how to play Hexes Hold'em, a rather impressive feat considering they couldn't communicate, then proceed to thoroughly humiliate the Guardian. The two were now playing a game of Poker using a deck of Human cards Eda was trying to sell as coasters.

"Boom, another Royal Flush," the Guardian boasted as he laid down his cards. Owlbert hooted grumpily as his Full House was beaten. Royal kissed his cards greedily, "Seems my name is rather fitting." He spun his finger in an attempt to cast a minor firework spell, only for nothing to happen. He ignored the lackluster result and continued celebrating. The Palisman responded by picking up a small amount of dust in his talons and flinging it into Royals' face. He shouted in surprise, clawing at his eyes in an attempt to get it out.

"Dust in the eyes! Help help help!" As he stumbled, he accidentally tripped over his heels once again and fell to the ground.

"You're a sore loser, you know that?"


Luz raced through the streets of Bonesborough. Lancer had let her ride Royal's sparrow out of town. She had picked up on the controls fairly quickly; twist to start the engine, pull back to brake, and turn to steer. And since the streets were surprisingly empty today, all she had to do was dodge the occasional pedestrian or tentacle swarm. She cheered loudly as she zipped out of Bonesborough, heading for a nearby clearing with a few scattered trees. Once she arrived, she hopped off the sparrow and floated gracefully through the air. She did a little roll as she landed, striking an action hero pose.

"I give it a seven on the dismount," Lancer judged, "You glide lacked speed."

"I'll take it," Luz said as she turned to a large rock. She placed her hands close together, channeling the Light through them. As she willed it to take shape, a small Void orb appeared before her. She held it up to her eyes for a moment, getting lost in the swirling depths of power she held. Shaking her head and refocusing, she flung the orb at the rock. It impacted and caused the stone to disintegrate.

"This is so cool," Luz beamed, "I'm finally like a real Witch."

"Don't you already have your Glyph thing?" Lancer asked. Luz shrugged slightly.

"Yeah, but that's just me siphoning off magic from the Titan," she explained, "It's not my power, I'm just borrowing it."

"You know, the Light isn't your power either," Lancer commented, "Nor is it Royal's or mine or even the Travelers. It is a fundamental force of the cosmos. We are not its masters, but rather, its humble guides. We direct it and give it shape, but we do not command it."

"I hadn't thought of it like that," Luz said as she looked down at her hands, "Still, this is a nice change of pace. Oh, do you think you could record me? I want to share this with Gus and Willow."

"And who are they?"

Luz gasped, "I haven't properly introduced you guys! Ok, we need to do that after I've won this bet." Lancer shrugged and started recording. Luz took a deep breath and summoned forth a fireball.

"Behold as I, the Good Witch Luzura, smite my foes with the power of the Light!" With that, she spun and threw the fireball at a large tree. It tore clean through the trunk and set the wood ablaze. She turned back to Lancer.

"How was that?" He didn't answer, staring behind her. She turned back around just in time to see the tree collapse on top of her. Her body went limp as she felt the tree crush several motors in her chest and neck. The tree's immense weight bore down on her as her vision went dark. The last thing she heard was Lancer crying out her name before the abyss swallowed her.

Her eyes snapped back open. She rose to her feet unsteadily. As she looked around she realized that she didn't recognize her surroundings. Rather than the clearing, she was now in a field filled with flowers of over a dozen colors. As she looked around, the sight of a large building caught her attention. She squinted at it, unable to make out any recognizable details.

"The Deep Stone Crypt," she muttered subconsciously before clapping her hands over her mouth. As she did, she realized that she was back in her own body.

"Deep Stone Crypt? What is that Lancer?" She received no response from the Ghost. Growing increasingly disturbed by her surroundings, she decided to begin walking to the Crypt. Much to her dismay, figures began appearing from the air, encircling her. She looked at the faces in the crowd, surprised to see that she recognized them.

"Eda? Principle Bump? Amity? What's going on?" She questioned. Rather than answer, the figures stared at her unblinkingly. Luz attempted to turn back, only to run directly into someone. Looking up, her eyes widened as she realized she was staring into the face of her mom.

"Mami? What are you doing here?" Instead of responding, her mother reached out to grab her. Luz quickly turned and ran away into the field, trying to escape the crowd as they gave chase. Ahead, she could see a lone figure striding toward her. Her heart leapt as she recognized it as Royal, he would know what was going on. However, as she drew closer, he thrust his hand out to the side, summoning his Glaive. As she looked him in the eyes, she saw the same blank, emotionless stare that everyone else had. She tried to stop herself only to fall to her back. She attempted to crawl away on all fours. However, Royal lunged forward, bringing his Glaive down to stab her through the chest.

Luz closed her eyes and screamed, but the blow never came. Cautiously, she opened her eyes again and found herself sitting next to the tree that had crushed her. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were still the illusion cast on Royal.

"Are you ok?" Lancer asked beside her. She scrambled back a little before calming her nerves.

"What happened?" She asked frantically, touching her chest where the Glaive had almost impaled her. Lancer spun his shell nervously.

"How do I put this gently," he pondered, "Uhh, you may or may not have sorta… died…"

"I died?" Luz responded with a hollow voice.

"Yup," Lancer confirmed, "Tree crushed some of your… erm, Royals'... important internal components. The neural processing unit got disconnected from the reactor. You broke your neck."

Luz gingerly caressed her neck, feeling cold metal that reminded her too much of a corpse. She shivered as Lancer continued to speak.

"I resurrected you, so congratulations, you've undergone your first death. Now, do you want to retry that little stunt or should I just cut out the part where you got beaten by a stationary object?" Luz gingerly rose to her feet, holding her arms close across her chest.

"We… we should head back to Royal and the others."

"Really?" Lancer asked, "I thought you had more stuff you wanted to do?"

"No, you were right, I should stick to Glyphs."

"Alright," Lancer said hesitantly, "Do you want me to pull out the sparrow?"

"No," Luz said, "I'll walk."

And so the two did walk in complete silence back to Bonesborough. As they approached the entrance gate, a light-blue cloud puffed around Luz, causing her illusion to fade. Lancer quickly transmatted Royals helmet on her head, overwhelming Luz by the sheer amount of data on the hud. The two continued to walk silently, not noticing as a Guard caught sight of them. He studied them for a second before looking down at a wanted poster clutched in his hand. He looked between the two a few times before stuffing it in his pocket and rushing out to the street.

"Hey, you!" He called, catching Luz's attention, "Stop right there and surrender yourself to the Emperors' Coven!"

"Ok," Lancer said into her ear, "We should probably run now." Luz obliged and took off down the street. As the Guard pursued, he called out for reinforcements. In time, a half dozen guards were chasing after the terrified girl.

"Gotta find the others! Gotta find the others! Gotta find the others!" Luz shouted as she ran, "Where are they?"

"Take a left here."

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME LANCER!"

"No seriously," he said calmingly, "Royal had me put trackers on all of you, so I know where you guys are. Both Kings' body and yours are nearby."

"Royal did what?"

"Oh right, wasn't supposed to tell you about that."

Luz shook her head and followed Lancers' directions. He lead her through the streets of Bonesborough until she arrived in front of a small cafe. Lancer ordered her in and Luz obliged, throwing the door open and slipping in easily. The guards split up, checking the surrounding area. Luz let out a sigh of relief. She turned to face the interior, only to be met with two Witches, one of them holding a struggling King.

"Oh great," the one with free hands complained, "There's another one."

"Luz," Eda's voice called out, "You gotta get us out of here! These ladies are crazy!"

"Oh no you don't," the Witch said menacingly, "You're not taking our babies anywhere."

She began drawing a spell circle, only for Luz to thrust her hands outward, sending a small orb of electricity flying at her. The Witch narrowly avoided it. As the orb hit the wall, it began releasing large bolts of lightning across the room. The occupants all scattered, with Luz grabbing Eda and King and carrying them back outside. Unfortunately, she had forgotten about the guards.

"There they are!" One of them shouted, pointing at her. The Witches burst out of the cafe and pointed angrily at the group.

"There they are!"

"There they are!" A final voice called out from above. As the three looked upward, they saw Boscha and her gang hovering over them. The three all looked at each other, speaking in unison.

"Don't ask."


"You know," Royal said as he finished selling a customer a pair of dice that he believed to be Human prediction machines, "This isn't too bad. I'm even starting to get the hang of these Heels." Owlbert hooted in agreement before looking over to the side. He flew up to get a better view as Royal rose from his seat. He squinted, able to make out a large crowd running their way.

"Is that?" He asked slowly only to widen his eyes as he realized what was coming for them, "Oh shit."

"Royal! We're gonna need some backup!" Eda shouted, "Toss my staff now!" Royal lunged over the table, grabbing hold of Owlbert as he transformed back into a staff. He threw it into Kings waiting arms. For some reason, both he and Eda were being carried by Luz. King then handed it over to Eda as Royal raced closer to them.

"Alright, we can sort out who won later, unbody-swapping now!"

Another flash of light engulfed the crew, blinding the crowd chasing them. Royal drew to his full height and flexed his arms, noticing that the illusion had been dispelled. Eda and King both shot to their feet while Luz emptied her bowels on the ground. Evidently, the transition back from having no digestive system was not a kind one. As the crowd stumbled aimlessly, Royal turned to fix his companions with a smug gaze.

"Have we all learned our lesson?" He asked, the three nodded quickly. Their pursuers pulled themselves together, preparing to charge once more. Royal faced them and took a deep breath.

"I advise you all to leave before you are made to leave." With that, he let a flood of Arc light flow through his body, wrapping him in lightning. He lifted off the ground slightly as bolts danced between his feet and the dirt.

"Now who wants to go first?" The teens were the first to break, with Boscha fixing Luz with a glare that let her know this wasn't over. The old Witches backed away slowly, not wanting to get electrocuted. Lastly, a guard stepped forward, pointing his finger at Royal.

"We will not be intimidated so easily by you! You are hereby under arrest for crimes against the Emperor!" The Guard stood defiant as Royal simply rolled his eyes. He raised a lazy hand and fired a lightning bolt right past the Guard's head. His uniform smoked slightly as the smell of ozone filled the area.

"On second thought," he said, suddenly far less bold, "I think my break just started." With that, the guards turned and ran.

"Finest of the Emperors' Coven, my ass," Royal muttered as he turned to face the others, "So… anyone wanna talk about what they learned today?" He was met by three no's.

"We should probably get out of here," Eda said, "Those guards are likely going to call for reinforcements."

"Before we do," Luz interjected, "I think Royal has some explaining to do."

He raised his eyebrow, "I do?"

"Yeah, you've been tracking us."

"Lancer told you, didn't he?" Royal deadpanned. His Ghost phased in next to him.

"Sorry, it was kinda important," he said sheepishly. Royal waved him off as Eda stared at him, clearly not buying it.

"Oh please, like anyone could slip one of those little trackers on me without me noticing."

"Check your hair," Royal said, crossing his arms. Eda reached into her mane and pulled out a small blinking device, no larger than her fingernail. A quick search from Luz and King revealed that they had been similarly bugged, with Luz finding hers tucked away inside one of the ears on her hoodie and King finding his inside his collar.

"I would normally have a lot of objections to this," Eda began tiredly, "but at this point, I'm too tired to care."

"You're welcome," Royal replied sarcastically.

"Seems like Royal won the bet," King said, "so who lost?" Luz rubbed her arm before holding up a hand. Royal eyed her suspiciously but decided to let it slide for now.

"Alright," Eda clapped her hands together, "Let's get out of here so little Ms. Loser can get to her punishment."


"I'm sorry," Lilith said as she rubbed her forehead, "You just, ran away?"

She was currently debriefing a Coven guard that had reportedly encountered the Guardian while on patrol. There was a brief chase where some other figures got involved before the Guardian regrouped with Eda and they did some "bright flashing thing", to quote the guard. Then the Guardian threatened them with lightning and they all ran away.

"Yes ma'am," the guard in question nodded sheepishly. Lilith closed her eyes and counted to ten. Once she was done, she grabbed her drink and took a deep sip.

"Very well, that will be all. You are free to go." The guard seemed confused that he was just being let off the hook but he didn't stay around to question her. She sighed as he left, not wanting to deal with any more nuisances today. A wave of exhaustion overtook her. It had been two weeks since she had gotten a good night of sleep. It wasn't just work, her schedule had been perfectly balanced for years. No, this was something entirely different. Every time she fell asleep, she could see the Harpy in her dreams. Sometimes it was the focus, sometimes it was in the background. It didn't matter, the thing would find her eventually. There was something in its singular eye, something ancient and malicious.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a sharp pain in her hand. She looked down and saw that she had crushed her mug. The sharp glass cut into her hand as her drink spilled onto the floor beside her. She cursed and quickly cleaned up. One small healing spell and she was back in working order. She looked over at a recruitment poster for the Emperors' Coven that had been plastered on the wall.

"We should have destroyed that thing when we had the chance," she murmured, "We don't know what kind of power we're toying with. This… thing is evil!" Her voice rose to a shout as she frantically paced around the room. She stopped, formulating an idea.

"I possess top-level access to all of our facilities," she realized, "I could get in there and put a stop to this myself. And thanks to the Guardian, I would have the perfect suspect to pin the blame on." She stroked her chin thoughtfully before looking back at the recruitment poster.

"No, no, what am I saying? This is tantamount to treason. I will voice my concerns reasonably and convince the Emperor to stop all further research into these machines," she said. Yes, that would work. It had to work.


Luz scrubbed away at Hooty as he lay still on the ground. Normally he would be thrashing around all while being cleaned, but apparently, he had been on the phone all day and was absolutely exhausted. It didn't make the job any less disgusting but Luz was counting her blessings.

As she scrubbed, she heard one of the upstairs windows open. She looked up and watched Royal step out and float to the ground. She looked down and continued scrubbing. How this House Demon got mud into all these places, she didn't know. Royal walked up behind her.

"You ok?" He asked, genuinely concerned. Luz sighed and stopped scrubbing, setting the brush down.

"Not really," she replied.

"I understand if you're upset about the trackers, but I-"

"It's not that," she cut him off, "It's something else. Well, a few things I suppose."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," she said, "It's… personal." Royal materialized two chairs, one for each of them. He took a seat, gesturing for Luz to do the same.

"Here, how about this, I'll tell you something that's been bugging me. Something I probably should've told you sooner. Then, in return, you tell me what's on your mind." Luz took a deep breath and nodded.

"Alright then, here goes," he rubbed his hands together, "So, last night, I had a dream. I was in a field of flowers." Luz perked up.

"Was there a building?" She asked cautiously. Royal seemed to have been caught off guard by that.

"Yes, how do you know?"

"I think I saw the same field," she explained, "earlier, while I was out with Lancer. I was goofing around and I accidentally dropped a big tree on myself. Lancer told me that I died." Royal leaned back slowly, contemplating what he heard.

"I take it that there was more than that," he said pensively. She nodded, tears forming in her eyes.

"Before I was… resurrected," she choked out, "I was in that field and there were these people. People I knew. They attacked me and I ran. Then I saw you and you…"

"I killed you, didn't I?" Royal said with a somber voice. Luz nodded. The Guardian got up from his chair and crouched down in front of her. He held out a hand to place it on her shoulder but hesitated. Luz lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and crying into his shoulder. He put his hands on her back gently, unsure of what to do with himself.

"I saw the same thing, for the most part," he said softly, "It's the same dream all Exo's experience. The building? It's called the Deep Stone Crypt, it's the birthplace of all Exo's. It's where we were made, where we are reset, and where we go every time we close our eyes. The people we see, we kill them. I'm… sorry you had to go through that."

"I saw my Mami," she said between tears, "She didn't even recognize me." Royal patted her on the back.

"It's ok," he comforted, "it was just a dream."

"Why?" She asked.

"Why?" He prompted, wanting her to elaborate.

"Why is that what you see?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "I served the Bray Family before my resurrection, but I never knew much about their dealings. They're the ones who made us. Specifically Clovis, that mad bastard. He made us to be soldiers. Maybe the dreams are a way of keeping us combat ready."

"You mentioned resets, what are those?"

"Exo's are Human minds in robotic bodies. The Human mind is incredible, but it is limited. Exo's eventually acquire too much data for their minds to handle. To deal with this, we would be reset. Our minds would be wiped and we would be set back to square one, trying to piece together the person we were before. I was wiped six times, hence the name…"

"Royal-6."

"Right. You should meet my friend Banshee, he's been reset forty-four times. His memory is a little spotty, but I think you would like him," he confirmed before a pained look came over his face. "There's something else I need to tell you," he said, pushing Luz back upright in her seat. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "When I attacked the Coven facility, I killed those guards. Lots of them. It was wrong, I know. Maybe if I had tried reasoning with them, I could've explained the situation and ended this whole mess. But I was careless and I let my preconceptions blind my judgment. And because of that, the entirety of the Isles are in danger."

He paused and clenched his fists before drawing in a deep breath. "I understand if you don't want me around or if you're scared of me. I just figured you would have the right to know." He stood to leave, but Luz grabbed him by the arm.

"I knew. Or at least, I had my suspicions. I realized that I was right when I noticed how you've been avoiding me today. But you're not entirely at fault for that. The fault belongs to the Vex." As she finished, her voice grew a bitter tone. She practically spat the word Vex out of her mouth.

"Thank you. It feels good to hear that." The two were silent for a time before Luz spoke up again.

"You know, I shouldn't be in the Demon Realm. My Mami thinks that I'm off at Summer Camp. It was supposed to be a place for me to learn how to fit in and be normal. I ran away because I felt like she was trying to push me away. We've both made these choices, now we're just dealing with the consequences."

"The difference is, no one is getting hurt because of your decision," Royal objected.

"If you could go back, would you do things differently?" She asked. Royal tossed the question around in his head for a second.

"Yes, I would."

"Then you're trying to be better." Royal laughed as she said that. It was a heart sound, one they both needed.

"And here I thought I was supposed to be comforting you."

"Us weirdos have to look out for each other." Royal stood up and held out a hand for Luz. She accepted and he pulled her to her feet. Their chairs faded as Royal spoke.

"Why don't you head inside and get some rest, I'll finish the clean-up."

"No," Luz said, "I started this, I need to finish it." Royal grinned.

"Spoken like a true Guardian."


The night had come and gone, now morning had arrived. Eda had gathered the occupants of the Owl House outside near the small side shed for something special.

"Alright then Tincan, you held up your end of the bargain, so I'll hold up mine. When we rescued you from the Emperors' Coven, we also nabbed a few souvenirs. We were gonna tell you sooner, but we wanted to give you time to rest."

Royal accepted the reasoning. "So what did you grab?"

Eda swung open the door to the shed, revealing a bound Coven guard within. He flinched under the morning light before glaring at the assembled group.

"This guy here was the one torturing you," Eda explained, a little too cheerily, "So we nabbed him and his little toy." She reached into her hair and drew out the Vex staff. She chucked it over to Royal, who caught it deftly and extended it to its full length. He ran his hand down the length of the shaft, inspecting it thoroughly.

"It's Vex tech alright, though it seems to also have some magical residue," he reported. Eda nodded in agreement.

"That's basically all we've been able to figure out. Now," she said, walking over to their captive and tearing off his gag, "I think you might be a little more effective at getting this guy to talk." The guard continued to glare angrily, but he didn't speak. Royal tapped the staff, activating a spiral of Void energy on the end. He gingerly poked it, feeling how his steel screamed when it made contact. Letting out an unimpressed grunt, he collapsed the weapon and stowed it before walking over to the bound guard.

"What are you doing with the Vex technology?" he interrogated, "What are the Vex getting in return?" The Witch remained silent and Royal shook his head.

"I'm not going to torture him," he told Eda, who seemed a little surprised, "If he wants to remain silent, then the coming chaos will be on his hands."


Tonight on Witches and Warlocks; Synegorus leaves its basement and experiences sunlight for the first time, Royal plays a children's card game, and Luz fucking dies.

Before we get on to the comments, I just want to thank you all for over three thousand views. The response to this fic continues to exceed my greatest expectations. Thank you everyone for giving me a chance, I hope I can continue to hold your attention.

mysticalex: Hooty with Telesto, now there's an image. Though I imagine Taniks, who is the true wielder of Telesto, might have some objections.

OMAC001: There you go. I'm trying to lean more into Royal being an Exo, so I figured that this would be a nice little character moment.

GodzillaMaster: You would be correct. Royal went missing shortly before the events of Curse of Osiris. Honestly, he got lucky. In the actual lore I have written for him, he doesn't manage to get back out until the events of Beyond Light.


"You know, I've been thinking," Luz prompted. Royal didn't look up from his meditation, but he did raise an eyebrow.

"You need to be careful when doing that, you might break something in there," he replied evenly. Luz giggled before continuing.

"Those fins on the side of your head, do they do anything?" She asked. Royal opened his eyes and let his pose relax.

"I don't actually know myself," he admitted, "I can fold them up whenever I need to put on my helmet, but other than that they don't have any function." He demonstrated by having his fins retract into their attachment port before they withdrew into his head. With the point demonstrated, he let them pop back out.

"I think I can recall someone else asking me about them. She said they looked nice," he continued. Luz gained a sly look.

"Oh, she said that, did she? Was it a nice Exo lady?"

Royal didn't pick up on her tone. "I think so? All I have is a vague recollection, more a feeling than a memory."

"Sounds like you have a lover," Luz said decisively.

"What?"

"Well, it must've been someone close to you, if you can remember it after being reset and resurrected."

Oh, please," Lancer objected, "Have you met Royal? This dude couldn't flirt to save his life. Like, I love you man, but you have no game." Royal nodded glumly.

"Well I am not going to let this slide," Luz declared, "We will find this lost love of yours, or die trying!"

"Luz, this would've been centuries ago. We don't even know if she's still alive."

"And you don't know that she isn't," Luz countered, "She could be anywhere, you just need to find her."

Far away, on a hill overlooking the Owl House, a lone figure stood. She lowered the scope she had been observing through and slung the rifle across her back.

"Good to see you again Royal," she said to the uncaring wind, "It's nice to know you landed on your feet, in this universe at least." With that, the Exo Stranger turned and walked off, disintegrating as she prepared to cross the boundary between timelines once again.